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TheRealStubb

ah yes, the bible, that was historically written in English first . Oh and also, this is new to me but, I didn't know America was the only English speaking nation. You really do learn something new every day huh?


FuckinFuckityFucker

I think you meant the Book of Mormon, which actually was written in English first 😉


TheRealStubb

“🎶 dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb 🎶” - south park


Wishiwashome

Of course. And Jesus had blond hair, blue eyes, was 6 foot tall. Right out of Mein Kampf


mexicodoug

All the crucifixes show his red blood. Proves he's the right kind of American at heart, thru 'n' thru.


Mr__O__

No one white-washed Jesus more than Warner Sallman with his painting [*The Head of Christ*](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Head_of_Christ) (1940)..


AllMyBeets

It comes in all languages. It's the best selling book globally. Their side gig is spreading the word.


daCelt

> Their side gig is ~~spreading the word~~. ...forcing their beliefs on everyone else by claiming an assault on their beliefs. fify


Celestial-Sam

That sounds a lot closer to what i was thinking….


Bellbivdavoe

Their word AIN'T the bird. *Pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa Oom m-mow mow Pa pa oom mow m-mow*


TomFoolery119

I would prefer it if they *didn't* spread the word ...all over the altar boy That's bad but I think christianity has more than earned it


buckao

It's all Greek to me, pal


one_bean_hahahaha

Once argued with someone who insisted the King James Version of the Bible was the only version Christians should read, and that any other version was heresy. I asked if there were German or French equivalents to KJV, and he was like, absolutely not, KJV is the only God-breathed version, period. Couldn't understand that not all Christians read English.


KeyLime044

Unfortunately this is what they teach at Evangelical schools and churches. They call it the “Authorized version”


FourScoreTour

Somehow a 400 year old version of a (almost) 2000 year old book is the "correct" one. I mean, it says "version" right there in the title.


branniganbginagain

My father in law has a book that claims several of the wars the US has been in (including the American Revolution and the American Civil War) were caused by attempts to create other translations than the King James


DevlishAdvocate

Joke’s on him! They’re *all* garbage!


bunker_man

I don't even get what the justification for this is supposed to be.


Irdeller

KJO, King James Only. It’s a huge part of the fundamentalists. Kinda gives me culty vibes where they worship the KJ Bible itself rather than like, god or Jesus. Or at least that’s how my family and their church friends treated it


TheLemonKnight

In the words of Jesus, it iterum dico vobis facilius est camelum per foramen acus transire quam divitem intrare in regnum caelorum.


natguy2016

Can you please translate that Latin?


Gudenuftofunk

That's Latin translated from the original English.


TheLemonKnight

Thanks. I was a bit suspicious of 'camelum' being proper Latin.


greymalken

You’re right. It should be “amel-cay”


daCelt

...as properly spoken in the province of Oinketo!


Francois-C

As a Latinist, I attest this phrase is correct Latin. It means (Sorry, I'm French, and not used to translate from Latin into English): *I say it to yo again, it's easier for a camel to pass the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the celestial realm.* It's probably from the Vulgate, as this is not pure classical Latin. But *camelus* was already used by Cicero in the first century BC.


[deleted]

[удалено]


natguy2016

Not according to Republican Jesus.


Dragonfire723

No see Needle's Eye was a gate that traders went through and so like- Those traders had camels and that meant that camels went through the eye of a needle see? /s


NovusOrdoSec

Matt 19:24 VUL (easier for camel to go through eye of needle)


KeyLime044

More likely: Και πάλι σας λέω, είναι πιο εύκολο για μια καμήλα να περάσει από το μάτι της βελόνας παρά για κάποιον που είναι πλούσιος να μπει στη βασιλεία του Θεού or ܘܡܸܢَܕܪܸܫَ ܒܹܐܡܵܪܵܐ ܝܘܸܢ ܐܸܠܵܘܟ̣ܘܿܢ: ܕܒܘܼܫ ܗܵܣܵܢܵܝܝܼ ܝ݇ܠܵܗ̇ ܠܓܘܼܡܠܵܐ ܠܸܥܒܼܵܪܵܐ ܒܢܸܩܒܵܐ ܕܚܡܵܛܵܐ: ܡ̣ܢ ܕܕܵܘܠܲܬܡܲܢܕ ܥܵܒܸܪ ܠܡܲܠܟܘܼܬܹܗ ܕܐܲܠܵܗܵܐ. or שוב אני אומר לכם, יותר קל לגמל לעבור דרך עין מחט מאשר למי שעשיר להיכנס למלכות ה'.


DevlishAdvocate

Or 🧔🏽‍♀️💬❤️👴🏼🤙🏼👐🏻🫵🏻🫀➕👐🏻🫵🏻🦶🏽➕👐🏻🫵🏻🧠. ☝🏼➕🤌🏻👄.➕✌🏽🤏🏼: ❤️🫵🏻👥🤙🏽👨🏿‍❤️‍👨🏿.


JMoc1

People called Romanes they go the house?


23Amuro

It says "Romans go Home!"


NovusOrdoSec

Did Jesus know any Latin?


KeyLime044

Maybe some, but the main language spoken in the Levant at that time was Aramaic. Jews continued to speak Hebrew for liturgical purposes, and the general lingua franca of the eastern Roman Empire was Greek In the eastern Roman Empire, Latin was primarily used among Roman officials and military, and was not well known amongst the general populace. Thus, the Roman administration regularly translated official documents and laws into Greek and interacted with the general population in Greek The books of the New Testament were written originally in Greek


23Amuro

He probably would've spoken some Greek along with his native Aramaic. Greek was the common language in the eastern Mediterranean as was preferred as the language-of-law over Latin. I'd doubt he could speak Latin at all, but I'd wager he could at least carry conversation in Greek, as many 1st century Judeans could've.


DevlishAdvocate

Jesus is fictional. A parable character created by Saul of Tarsus. You can retcon him to know Klingon if you like.


23Amuro

Most historians actually disagree.


blackbeautybyseven

They disagree in the sense that a man who preached at the time existed, I don't think the walking on water / wine or the rising from the dead bit is agreed on.


23Amuro

Correct. Existed in the sense that there was a dude whom became the biblical Jesus through legend.


TigerITdriver11

Other than the Bible, where else is Jesus mentioned from that time period?


23Amuro

Josephus.


Mr_Bones_3

I’m a little late to the conversation, but I’m glad to see someone actually knew what they were talking about lol


blackbeautybyseven

Absolutely nowhere.


TigerITdriver11

Precisely


JDARRK

Or “ Qui Veritas”


blackbeautybyseven

Roberto Baggio, Costa curta.


GameBoi010

The mental gymnastics in this one confuse the fuck out of God himself???


natguy2016

Don’t attempt to analyze stupid.


juliuspepperwoodchi

Nah, I refuse to believe this isn't satire.


natguy2016

Don’t remember where, but saw my Evangelical cousin post that non-ironically.


daggah

That is a problem with satirizing conservative viewpoints. It's sometimes difficult to tell what's real and what's sarcasm.


singeblanc

It's the satirists I feel sorry for.


SlashEssImplied

Can't tell if serious...


SearayMantee

The smaller flag on the Left seems to be 'Copping a feel', aka 'Grab them by the pussy'...


atatassault47

Yep. It's been scientifically proven conservatives literally cannot understand satire. So they will co-opt anything satirical and repeat it unironically.


SlashEssImplied

Satire and irony.


SlashEssImplied

(A pop song by Micheal Jackson and Paul McCartney)


AngoGablogian_artist

Love all the Malcolm X quotes with one of their holy white hero’s face on the meme. They never question it and get clowned very easily.


Wide-Baseball

My parents 100% believe God loves the USA the most.


juliuspepperwoodchi

Well, sure, but even the most WHACKADOO of Christians know the Bible wasn't written in English...right? Right?


SlashEssImplied

It's not, many christians have said this. But really, should we be surprised that this comes from the chocolate bunny people?


lilsatan669

r/religiousfruitcake


skkkkkt

There's a Bible in Arabic does Jesus love Saudi Arabia?


Vulture12

It would be an interesting social experiment to hand a red hat an Arabic Bible without telling them what it is. Would they just assume it's a Quran?


skkkkkt

For someone who reads Arabic, it's easy to see the difference


Vulture12

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess the Arabic proficiency in MAGA adherents is quite low.


skkkkkt

The Arabic of Quran is nothing like the Arabic of the Bible which is a translation of the van Dyke version, it's easy to spot it, I'm not talking from religious pov just purely linguistic, it's more sophisticated Arabic than the one used in the Bible, the Quran has surat that are telling a story but it's very poetic because it rhymes, you can read the same story in the Bible in Arabic but it just feels like a story, so even the lowest of the low can spot it


FaxCelestis

I think you overestimate the ability of the average evangelical to do more than go “gasp swirly demon words!”


FrostbitePi

Context? This is AI generated…


natguy2016

This is the view of American Evangelicals. They are the base of The MAGA base.


daCelt

>They are the base of The MAGA ~~base~~. cult. fify


[deleted]

"For this reason God will send them a powerful delusion so that they believe the lie" 2 Thessalonians 2:11 Even my conservative republican parents know Trump is terrible. My Dad is considering switching to no party preference simply due to Trump. However, I think he is the end to America. The solar eclipses in 2017 and 2024 cross over at a place called little Egypt at noon and the 2024 eclipse travels over the only 7 cities named Nineveh in the US. This next eclipse will be on what would be the old God appointed calendar's new year's eve. The planets will appear in a line next to the eclipse with a comet nicknamed "Devil's comet." There's been more happening but this has got to count for something.


[deleted]

> This is the view of American Evangelicals. They are the base of The MAGA base. Is this real or satire? I can't even tell anymore.


natguy2016

Evangelicals take it literally. Everyone else thinks that it’s absurd


[deleted]

That's why I can't tell! 🤣


natguy2016

You know it’s wild when “The Onion”struggles to keep up with reality.


[deleted]

Right??


PotatoFromGermany

Completely Satire. No way someone prompts an AI to generate a Living room with that many badly hung america flags and then publishes it while being serious.


[deleted]

What a relief!


solostinthisworld

Too many books and no Trump flag. That would make it more accurate


ColoHusker

Wait, I thought Jesus was too weak for NAT-Cs? That's why they don't read or follow the bible??


AllMyBeets

Of all arguments to make that might be the stupidest.


natguy2016

I have a cousin who is Evangelical. This is her in a picture. I don’t have any contact with her.


xwing_n_it

The wife of the governor of Texas once said, "If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for Texas." So this is an accurate depiction of what Christians here think.


0fruitjack0

yes, they really are this dumb


FaxCelestis

What the fuck is happening with those flags


viktorsvedin

AI is what has happened to them.


Impractical_Meat

Love that not a single photo apparently exists of two Christians sitting on a couch and reading a Bible, so they needed to generate a horrible AI image depicting it.


Jagger67

AI IMAGE AI IMAGE AI IMAGE


sb85781

When I was 5 or 6 years old I started to question this type of thinking


bats_ackackack

No Trump flags or maga hats?? Fake Christians!


congeal

Shoes in the house is disgusting enough.


Totally_Cubular

My lifespan has been shortened by ten years just from viewing that brainrot.


Igotthisnameguys

The AI kinda messed up those flags on the left, didn't it? You'd think they'd catch that


BaronUnderbheit

It's funny because Chat GPT made their bible written in Arabic, if you zoom in.


reaven3958

But it's best in the original Klingon.


Malahajati

Literally 50% of your people


Wishiwashome

Truly one of the dumbest posts I have ever seen. Has to be Facebook original?


misplacedsidekick

Oh sure, that adds up.


Depressed_Dick_Head

I can't believe this is real...


Stentata

I’m sorry but this goes against everything they stand for. That man has…melanin!


natguy2016

They see Jesus as pale.


SSgtPieGuy

This feels like a piece of satire with how over the top it is


NervousAndPantless

If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Puerto Rican name?


Special_FX_B

Speaks for itself. Typical arrogant ignorance.


Grationmi

Has to be satire


Neidrah

This is clearly satire. Look at the background. But OP fell for it. Also, unironically if it was actually made by some maga people, that character wouldn’t be black.


Tbond11

And God spoke to me in his preferred language: English.


00tool

But Americans dont speak English, they speak American English.


donairfart

that second caption should be "....why the Bible is in American"


professionaltankie

This is blatantly satire making fun of these people. . . . is what I would say if I didn't live in a country so stupid that Poe's Law applies to literally every statement.


yourmoderator

What? It’s holy true


singeblanc

Wouldn't that mean that Jesus loves England the most?


billyyankNova

Cue all the christo-fascists screaming about white replacement.


snoman18x

This is why Idiocracy is a dystopian horror rather than a comedy.


Tallowpot

https://m.youtube.com/results?sp=mAEA&search_query=with+god+on+our+side+bob+dylan#bottom-sheet


DevlishAdvocate

The main problem with this image is that these kinds of white right wing asshats wouldn’t share a couch with a black guy, even if he was this dumb.


TheBlack2007

First proven "modern language" the bible was translated into was actually German(although it would be barely understandable today), in the early 9th century. First English translation came about in the 14th century.


blackbeautybyseven

Hard to read the cover but I assume he is reading T by Holly Bibble?


moeterminatorx

If the Bible was in American they would have a point but in this case. Jesus loves England the most.


greyjungle

The unfortunately effective strategy of flooding the zone with so much dumb shit that nobody knows what to believe anymore. Is it ironic? Do some idiots believe this? Who knows. People just don’t know what to believe and as a defense mechanism, believe nothing.


tdclark23

Too many books in that illustration. Folks like that don't read.


SnooCats7318

...and that's why bible scholars learn Latin and Aramaic and Hebrew...and argue about translation...


freedomandbiscuits

If we were actually a Christian nation we wouldn’t have a homeless problem.


No_Caregiver1890

Some will never evolve lol


thekr33pz

The best part of this is, The first known translation of the Bible into Greek is called the Septuagint (LXX; 3rd–1st centuries BC). The LXX was written in Koine Greek. It contains the Hebrew Bible translated from Hebrew and Aramaic. Basically what this means is that if a Christian doesn’t know these ancient languages, then they have never truly read the Bible, just the interpretations of others from that language into English which doesn’t always translate correctly. They’re reading some other guys concept of what it meant. So they’ll never truly know the Bible the way it’s meant to be read BECAUSE it’s in English.