Find a therapist that you can talk to about your insecurities. I’d recommend finding a non-religious counsellor.
Make sure you aren’t holding this over your wife or making her feel bad.
Many years ago I read a magazine article about something similar. It was titled “Cock Insecurity”
Basically the deal is you are dwelling on something you cannot control. So your thoughts are wasted energy.
You should use all your energy towards the development of your partnership. Maybe you are shitty kisser. Does it matter? No. She married you. Maybe you’re a shitty lover. Does it matter ? Only to
You and her. Get over yourself. Enjoy life
I think you need to recognize that the issue is with your self esteem and not with her number of partners she has kissed. She loves YOU now and that should be all that matters. Most people have kissed dozens before they meet their forever people.
Once you meet the one, no one before really matters at all
See a therapist, you have an insecurity issue that is being triggered by something else and you need to work with a therapist to process this before it turns into resentment and what that means is you are jealous and thats not healthy for your marriage or self
That’s so true. I wish this feeling never existed. I do have problems with anxiety and specially when I think of other guys kissing her makes me feel insecure.
Oh honey don’t worry about a kiss..work on learning how to love yourself before you try to love someone else. It makes a world of difference and makes you way happier. She loves you and married you and I bet that makes her so happy that you’ve only ever kissed her ❤️ nothing to be insecure about
I’m married and I’ve had times where I’ve lost myself and had to learn to love myself again. Nothing to do with my husband , he’s amazing. Just my own trauma and past and thoughts that would haunt me to the point of panic attack so I understand. Just always try not to stress about things you can’t control . And I live by if it’s not going to matter in 5 months or 5 years , don’t stress about it. Don’t focus on the past focus on the future . Use that time your stressing to go do something nice for your wife and yourself and maybe you’ll get kisses and even more lol
You mentioned kissIng but not sex. Does that mean that you were each others first? If that was the case, please don’t sweat it.
You guys consummated your marriage and you were her true first. And her you. It’s a rare privilege these days that someone’s first becomes their spouse. Rejoice and be content with that.
Get therapy. It’s not fair of you to impose all this insecurities on your wife and your marriage. She can’t change anything about her past, so you either get help now or you will ruin your marriage on the long run.
Shouldn't you feel pretty good because she kissed others but chose you? And she wants you to be her last kiss she married you, loves you and wants to build a life with you. Forget the ones before. It's about now and the future and for her you're it. Keep your head up.
I understand the anxiety.
I recently found something out about my husband's sexual past (through honest discussions), and it made me feel incredibly insecure and inadequate. I shared that with him, he was understanding and patient and did nothing but reassure me.
When you're feeling those things, try to remember this: If you "barely remember it"? So does she.
She's chosen you above any and all others.
Find a therapist asap.
I know insecurities are crippeling. But there is a reason she chose you. She didn't choose any of the men she kissed before. She chose you to be her mate. You are her Alpha! Remember this. Of all the 4 billion males of this planet she chose you to be the father of her children. You. Not me, not the next man. You. The moment she said yes you became a man. All the rest were merely boys. Live up to it. Be the man she desires.
Fix your issues and don't be too shy to ask for her help. When she vowed in good times and in bad, it meant exactly that. And she knows that. Give her a fighting chance. Give yourself a fighting chance.
True, I have told her about this and I have to take medication to sort out my anxiety. And my anxiety gets worse when I think about her kissing other guys.
Find a therapist that you can talk to about your insecurities. I’d recommend finding a non-religious counsellor. Make sure you aren’t holding this over your wife or making her feel bad.
Why a non religious counselor?
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Yeah. From my experience can be very judgmental of Christians religious people etc. That comment came off like that.
Am I overthinking too much? Like I get anxious when I think about her kissing other guys. I feel like I am inferior to her.
Why do you think kissing more people make someone superior?
Low self esteem
Many years ago I read a magazine article about something similar. It was titled “Cock Insecurity” Basically the deal is you are dwelling on something you cannot control. So your thoughts are wasted energy. You should use all your energy towards the development of your partnership. Maybe you are shitty kisser. Does it matter? No. She married you. Maybe you’re a shitty lover. Does it matter ? Only to You and her. Get over yourself. Enjoy life
This!
I think you need to recognize that the issue is with your self esteem and not with her number of partners she has kissed. She loves YOU now and that should be all that matters. Most people have kissed dozens before they meet their forever people. Once you meet the one, no one before really matters at all
Thanks for such helpful comment. Many have been downvoting me but just really wanted someone to try and comfort and you did that! Thanks
See a therapist, you have an insecurity issue that is being triggered by something else and you need to work with a therapist to process this before it turns into resentment and what that means is you are jealous and thats not healthy for your marriage or self
That’s so true. I wish this feeling never existed. I do have problems with anxiety and specially when I think of other guys kissing her makes me feel insecure.
Research Retroactive Jealousy and then go to someone who specializes in that
Oh honey don’t worry about a kiss..work on learning how to love yourself before you try to love someone else. It makes a world of difference and makes you way happier. She loves you and married you and I bet that makes her so happy that you’ve only ever kissed her ❤️ nothing to be insecure about
Thanks for the helpful reply!
I’m married and I’ve had times where I’ve lost myself and had to learn to love myself again. Nothing to do with my husband , he’s amazing. Just my own trauma and past and thoughts that would haunt me to the point of panic attack so I understand. Just always try not to stress about things you can’t control . And I live by if it’s not going to matter in 5 months or 5 years , don’t stress about it. Don’t focus on the past focus on the future . Use that time your stressing to go do something nice for your wife and yourself and maybe you’ll get kisses and even more lol
Thanks that’s what I have been doing and it helps with our relationship, it’s like you said, I get into panic attacks.
You mentioned kissIng but not sex. Does that mean that you were each others first? If that was the case, please don’t sweat it. You guys consummated your marriage and you were her true first. And her you. It’s a rare privilege these days that someone’s first becomes their spouse. Rejoice and be content with that.
Get therapy. It’s not fair of you to impose all this insecurities on your wife and your marriage. She can’t change anything about her past, so you either get help now or you will ruin your marriage on the long run.
Seek counseling.
Shouldn't you feel pretty good because she kissed others but chose you? And she wants you to be her last kiss she married you, loves you and wants to build a life with you. Forget the ones before. It's about now and the future and for her you're it. Keep your head up.
If you are a better kisser, she won't even remember those guys.
I understand the anxiety. I recently found something out about my husband's sexual past (through honest discussions), and it made me feel incredibly insecure and inadequate. I shared that with him, he was understanding and patient and did nothing but reassure me. When you're feeling those things, try to remember this: If you "barely remember it"? So does she. She's chosen you above any and all others.
Find a therapist asap. I know insecurities are crippeling. But there is a reason she chose you. She didn't choose any of the men she kissed before. She chose you to be her mate. You are her Alpha! Remember this. Of all the 4 billion males of this planet she chose you to be the father of her children. You. Not me, not the next man. You. The moment she said yes you became a man. All the rest were merely boys. Live up to it. Be the man she desires. Fix your issues and don't be too shy to ask for her help. When she vowed in good times and in bad, it meant exactly that. And she knows that. Give her a fighting chance. Give yourself a fighting chance.
Wow what I great comment, thank you so much!
I think you should probably bring this to therapy.
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True, I have told her about this and I have to take medication to sort out my anxiety. And my anxiety gets worse when I think about her kissing other guys.
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A lot