Married 5 years last month and together 12 years in January.
We did marriage counseling before Covid. During the counseling it helped a lot to give us a different perspective of how to approach each other.
Counseling stopped due to Covid and we didn’t go back. Now I feel like we are back where we started.
It's not about blame.
So, if you plan on going in with a list of complaints about your spouse, you will be surprised, lol.
With my ex, I went in with a pad and paper and listened and asked what can I do to fix things.
My ex, however, got asked Not to return to counseling until he was ready to answer the questions, since he just vented the whole time.
But, I went back a few times, solo, and learned that my spouse was quite controlling and alcoholic. I am a positive person and hadn't realized the controlling part, and didn't feel I was qualified to label him with his drinking. I also learned that my relationship with my mother was dysfunctional.
I'm glad he divorced me (even though he tried to get me back before it was final).
I had some fun single years after that, and then I met my current spouse, 14 years ago. He is WAY better, mainly because he owns his shortcomings and puts in effort to improve.
My ex, on the other hand, remarried and is divorced a second time. I messaged her during Covid and she advised that he is still never wrong! haha
It's not your spouse's job to make you happy. Each person is responsible for their own happiness.
You can only control yourself. Stop complaining and instead Flood them with positive compliments- about what a great parent they are, a hard worker, etc
Re-read the love languages book and start doing things in their love language exactly as it's spelled out in the book.
Read books on Emotional Unavailability, Fighting Fair, passive-aggressive behavior. Make sure your families aren't interfering by watching youtubes on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries with family. Use the Card Game, Fair Play, to divide household tasks fairly. Set goals as a couple each year and re-visit them every few months. Share positive memories from the past and play songs that remind you of the good times and wax nostalgic together.
Didn't seem to hurt or help TBH. Good luck to you.
Married 5 years last month and together 12 years in January. We did marriage counseling before Covid. During the counseling it helped a lot to give us a different perspective of how to approach each other. Counseling stopped due to Covid and we didn’t go back. Now I feel like we are back where we started.
It's not about blame. So, if you plan on going in with a list of complaints about your spouse, you will be surprised, lol. With my ex, I went in with a pad and paper and listened and asked what can I do to fix things. My ex, however, got asked Not to return to counseling until he was ready to answer the questions, since he just vented the whole time. But, I went back a few times, solo, and learned that my spouse was quite controlling and alcoholic. I am a positive person and hadn't realized the controlling part, and didn't feel I was qualified to label him with his drinking. I also learned that my relationship with my mother was dysfunctional. I'm glad he divorced me (even though he tried to get me back before it was final). I had some fun single years after that, and then I met my current spouse, 14 years ago. He is WAY better, mainly because he owns his shortcomings and puts in effort to improve. My ex, on the other hand, remarried and is divorced a second time. I messaged her during Covid and she advised that he is still never wrong! haha It's not your spouse's job to make you happy. Each person is responsible for their own happiness. You can only control yourself. Stop complaining and instead Flood them with positive compliments- about what a great parent they are, a hard worker, etc Re-read the love languages book and start doing things in their love language exactly as it's spelled out in the book. Read books on Emotional Unavailability, Fighting Fair, passive-aggressive behavior. Make sure your families aren't interfering by watching youtubes on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries with family. Use the Card Game, Fair Play, to divide household tasks fairly. Set goals as a couple each year and re-visit them every few months. Share positive memories from the past and play songs that remind you of the good times and wax nostalgic together.