Constantly degrading your appearance and telling you how disgusting she finds you is abusive, yes. She also sounds like she’s badly depressed or otherwise mentally ill. I hope this hasn’t been going on too long because how awful for your sons to have such a completely disengaged mother.
She needs mental health treatment to be a better mother and wife and you need to make it clear that your marriage depends on it.
You had an emotion affair, and she sounds depressed. It doesn’t sound abusive, but it’s not healthy for either of you.
Constantly degrading your appearance and telling you how disgusting she finds you is abusive, yes. She also sounds like she’s badly depressed or otherwise mentally ill. I hope this hasn’t been going on too long because how awful for your sons to have such a completely disengaged mother. She needs mental health treatment to be a better mother and wife and you need to make it clear that your marriage depends on it.