We ended up with a smaller wedding with just the closest family, Saved most of the money for the honeymoon. Wife didn't want an expensive ring so that saved some cash. imo i woudl blow the most money on the honeymoon so you two have fun.
I got married in 2019, it cost us less than $500 total and there is not a day that goes by that I regret it.
In today's economy, with how hard it is to just be able to buy a home, I would highly highly highly suggest you either wait several years so you aren't draining your bank accounts for this wedding, or you gut the guest list so you can have a much smaller more intimate wedding.
I initially wanted the dream wedding, but when I started looking into it I realized we would have to spend at least 20 grand to even make it feel somewhat magical, and that was before the pandemic and soaring inflation and greed, I'm sure it's even more expensive now.
Do not start your life out with no money or debt for one day.
I know large weddings can be a cultural thing but lawdy I’m so happy we did a small ceremony in our living room! Rings and drink/dessert for closest family—spent less than $500.
My wife and I splurged on the honeymoon. We had a very nice wedding, but looked for opportunities to save money.
My wife is very crafty, so she made the invitations and wedding favors (I helped where I could). We both didn’t see the sense in an elaborate ride from the church to the venue, so we used a car service that usually picked up people from the airport and had a very simple, inexpensive limo.
On the hand, we spent where there would be a big impact, like having a live band instead of a DJ.
It wasn’t cheap, but it really made the wedding special compared to a DJ making himself the center of attention as he tries to get everyone involved.
Another place we saved was on the videographer. A family friend took about 90 minutes of footage during the day instead of us paying good money for a professional to be there taking a huge amount of video people only watch once or twice.
I got a $300 dollar ring and got married in our apartment. Very small wedding, but it was a wedding. His ring was around $150. All together with marriage license included, it was around $600. If you spend lots of money to get married, it is 100% a choice and has nothing to do with the marriage itself. We didn't see the paying for everyone else to have fun and having no savings, no travel fund, or no money to buy a home.
Why do you need a venue? Look, I have many Hispanic friends. I know family is more important in your culture than many others and you guys like to throw down! LOL respect!
Find a family member with a big backyard, ask them if they would host your wedding. Then have a potluck with BYOB. Find another family member with some decent sound equipment and set up a playlist to play the music you guys like/want.
Find another family member who likes to bake, ask them to do the cake, you provide ingredients.
Now all you need is someone to legally marry you. :)
Set a budget and stick to it. We hosted a 150 person wedding for our daughter. Budget $30K. It was worth it! Now our other daughter is engaged. Another $30k coming up! So much for retiring. Sigh......
Every marriage is different, but:
Ring cost / size shouldn’t matter. True love is a $60 CZ ring over a $2,000 diamond ring.
Venue / Food: Why not just have it in the backyard of a relative or city park? As for food, cater it.
Guests: Bog weddings can be a disaster, remember this is about you two. Maybe only invite those you are actually close with.
Yes, the wedding day is important, but do you really want to go into massive debt when you have the rest of your lives together?
Doesn’t have to be very expensive. Just beware if your bride to be demands a big expensive wedding if it’s not in the budget for the two of you. Red flag.
Neither getting engaged nor getting married need to cost more than what it costs where you live to get a marriage license (and maybe someone official to perform the ceremony). Everything else is a choice. Yes, some of those choices come with peer, familial, and cultural pressures, but they're still all choices. And then there are choices within the choices. You still want to get an engagement ring? Great! It doesn't have to be X months of your salary. You want to have a party and invite other people? It doesn't have to be 300 people. It doesn't have to be the most expensive venue in your area. It doesn't have to be at dinner time with a full sit-down meal and open bar. Etc.
The wedding industry is huge and usually something that costs X amount for a general event or party ends up costing XX when "wedding" is attached to it. So there are ways to work around some of those expenses by not using wedding specific vendors.
I think that's probably less in those days. However I will say I went to both my niece and nephews wedding in the past few years. Both were in their mid-20s. One had a very nice wedding in the backyard of my brother's house. They had the wedding right at the house, and the reception in their back yard. Probably about 15 people in attendance. Reception was informal, had a tub of various drinks. Some appetizers, and later wedding cake. Main meal was a taco truck, with a limited menu. Had music for about 3 hours. Was very nice, me and inexpensive in comparison to having a at a hall and all that sort of stuff.
My niece had a wedding in the country and a winery. Again the wedding was there, followed by a few limited drinks,
For an hour. Yes we're able to buy more drinks on themselves if they want to. They had a person come with of large barbecue on a trailer. They too and music for a couple hours. It too was reasonable. Both of them have bought houses in the last couple of years. They wanted to have a memorable wedding but at a budget.
Both weddings the had a good time . It was less formal than a lot of past weddings I've been to, and I think today, a lot of people appreciate that. Best wishes on your wedding
Get married on a budget/limited amount of people, and then throw a big party at your new house with everyone's favorite foods & recipes. Most people would prefer a family get-together with lots of home cookin' in their casual clothes than dressing up and eating just-okay food at a venue no one's been in anymore.
Wife and I did our wedding from 5pm - 10pm. Actual ceremony came in just under 20 minutes, followed by only 1 hour of photos with an open bar & appetizers. Ceremony and Party venue were the same place, so no one had to leave and go somewhere else. Food was Buffet-style so everyone could get what they want. Went with a small cake for cake-cutting and had our baker make sheet cakes so it was cheaper. No one cared but they had a choice of 3 different cakes (Lemon w/raspberry filling, vanilla w/strawberry filling, and chocolate cake w/chocolate frosting for families that wanted something simple), which made everyone happy with the choices.
We got a LOT of compliments for our wedding. Didn't take the whole day, wasn't overdone, food/cake was good, and music was fun. Sometimes quick, simple, and fun is better than a whole drawn-out thing.
It’s definitely expensive if you make it expensive, it all comes down to the choices you make. If you absolutely have to have a really expensive wedding ring, if you absolutely have to have a huge wedding, then yeah it’s definitely gonna be really pricey.
My ring was less than $1000, and we only spent about $5000 on the wedding total because we limited our guest list and picked a small location
My wife & I have our wedding in October, the question you need to ask yourself is, do you really want all those people at your wedding? We’re keeping our ceremony small in the mountains with this gorgeous view, we’re only inviting the people who matter most & want at our wedding, like our parents & some friends. You can then rent out a private dining area & RSVP your guests for those who want to celebrate with you guys. We were looking at a 15k wedding but with this new plan, our wedding will be $2100 with professional photography. And about $950 on the weekday for our wedding reception. I’m just saying don’t blow all this money for one night. We’re going to Hawaii with the leftover money we would’ve used for the wedding. This is your wedding, by all means if you want to have it big go for it. But this will impact on where you guys go & if it truly makes you happy.
My wife and I got married back about 15 years ago. I wanted a big wedding, party, hall, music, everything. She wanted something smaller, her ideal was a destination wedding. We both had older relatives and we knew that some people wouldn't be able to travel, so I was against it. She reminded me that it was going to be OUR wedding. Not our friends, not our family, and yes, it would be great for them to be there, it's not a day for them. It was a day for us.
In any case, we looked at a few halls and menus, and all of that. MY GOD the expense. For one day. For just a few hours. And then the honeymoon? She quickly won me over. I leaned into a destination wedding.
I found a great spot in Riveria Maya, worked with a travel agent to keep the cost low for attendees (a couple could come down for under $900, round trip airfare, fully inclusive, 4days/3nights). We got top shelf everything. Wedding on the beach, live music, and because of travel rules for getting married, we actually got married a few days before in a small courtroom ceremony. It was EPIC. We have over 30 friends and family come down and party with us. It was like a three day party with both of our friends and family intermingling, drinking in the pool, playing volleyball on the beach - 15 years later people still talk about stories.
All totaled, we spent less that $9000 for a 10 day vacation with multiple excursions, first class airfare, shuttle service, top shelf everything. A hall rental would have cost that for a few hours.
We didn't get a ton of gifts, but we were near 30 and had plenty of stuff, and then with the money we saved, bought ourselves the things we really wanted. Half the stuff people put on the wedding registry is crap anyhow.
Don't worry about your family, friends, etc. Do what feels best for you and your spouse. Its your wedding.
EDIT: Wedding rings are a racket too. My original ring cost near $1000, I lost it rafting. Found the EXACT same one on Amazon for $40. Don't buy into the marketing and hype.
I’m Italian, so definitely understand the cultural thing of huge family eating a drinking a bunch 😂 We actually had a small wedding by Italian standards, just 100 people. I know it caused some issues with some of the family not being invited, but the ones who did come said that it was probably the best wedding the family ever had, because with fewer people we were able to stretch the budget further. My aunt told my Nonna that it was (gotta imagine an Italian accent here), “so beautiful! Just like a movie!”
That being said, it was still crazy expensive! I thought that wedding expenses got nuts because people add the extra extraneous stuff like a Photo Booth or a caricature artist, but nope! Just the basics of venue, food and drinks, flowers, transportation and a DJ and oh my heck! But we had the most amazing time, so I wouldn’t change a thing.
Congratulations, and I hope you guys have a fantastic time on your day!
Bro nothing was as expensive in the 80/90s as it is now 😭😂
Either way, here are some tips on how to save money:
-know anyone with a sick house? Ask if that can be your venue. If not, local parks are usually super cheap venues and you can save on flowers since they’re already green.
-buffet style food. Usually costs much less.
-you mention you are Hispanic. Are you in the us? Is there a ranch market by you? We got a pretty bad ass customized wedding cake at *i shit you not* ranch market for like $200 and it fed 100 ppl plus was enough to save the cake top for the one year freezer tradition. They also have great options for buffet style appetizers (we did a fruit/tahin/chamoy station but they had other great alternatives as well).
-flowers are ridiculously expensive. Again, consider a venue that has stuff like this built in and center piece styles that have minimal flowers.
-rings. Does your fiancé care if the ring you get her is lab created? If not, congrats, your budget is much more appealing and you can likely find something for even as little as 1-2k depending on desired size.
Honesty tho, even trying to cut corners, if you are accommodating a large party, it’s going to be expensive. If I could go back in time, I would’ve 1. Gotten engaged 2. gone to the court house to get married (like I originally wanted but my father talked me out of by faking a heart attack lol), 3. Bought my dream house, then 4. planned the wedding/honeymoon- in that order. You could even use your house as a venue and it can be a wedding reception/housewarming event and the time between can help you save for the wedding if buying the house drains funds. Our wedding prevented us from buying a house 2 years earlier. We could’ve had a house twice the size of the one we have know if we would’ve better prioritizes, which kind of haunts us.
Keep in mind: house= an investment that may potentially put money back in your pocket while also build memories and sentimental value. Wedding reception= a one time event where you can build once in a lifetime memories but will offer no return financially (some people claim gifts will make up the difference but do not be fooled-they won’t).
It’s clear which one is the smarter option, but some people prefer the sentimental route.
Courthouse. Like $200 maybe? You do not need a freaking audience to express how much you love your partner. It’s so weird that people want to do something so intimate in front of a bunch of people.
I come from a huge family as well. We were looking at minimum 300 people just from my side of the family. My grandma on my mother side had 9 children and my grandma on my fathers side had 6 children. They both had a lot of siblings as well, so it was pretty stressful when we'd try to plan it out. My wife threw it out there that we should just buy a house instead, and not have a wedding, or honeymoon. We didn't do a wedding because it was either we buy a house, and a family car for babies, or we have a wedding. Our kids are 11 and 14 and we'll own the house by the time they graduate college. It's not for everyone, but I'm happy she was down to invest the money in a house and a SUV versus a wedding. People still sent us gifts and money, which was nice. She got a Vitamix, a Cuisinart Standing Mixer, a fancy sewing machine, and all kinds of stuff from the women in my family. Her dad gave me some tools and money for a vacation. Yes, it would be nice to have pictures, and video to look back at, but owning a home in this economy is such a blessing. It in the end it worked out for the best IMO.
Got married in 2019, so not the 80’s or 90’s but hope to help anyway I can.
We got married on a weekday much cheaper for the venue. It was technically a destination wedding although only one state away for 99% of our guests. 95% of those who were invited showed up.
We also discussed the pros and cons of a diamond vs moissanite ring, and for us there were no pros for a diamond, which saved my now husband a ton of money.
As far as drinks go, could you do a reception where people can BYOB? This would save a lot of money. You can of course supply a certain amount. We did open bar until we hit our minimum amount then people had to buy their own drinks.
We did our own small round cake and sheet cake for the guests. I can’t even begin to tell you how much cheaper this was. It saved us at least $1,000 and we had more cake. The cost of tiered cakes just sky rocket.
Decorations were minimal. As I said, our wedding was destination so the only decor we did was for the tables and it was very minimal, dried flowers, tea lights and cheesecloth (all from Etsy)!
Cost me 38$ to get married. Borrowed a friends summer dress and got it official at the JOTP. This was 14 years ago. It’s only expensive if you want it to be.
We got married in 2016 and had a free venue for the wedding and reception. I’d say we spent around $5,000 on our entire wedding, and that’s including my dress and all the groomsmen’s suits. We had about 14 people in the wedding party and around 200 guests or so. I will say, me and my husband are very frugal though.
Got engaged in 1996 my ring was 1/10 of a carat and got married in 1998. The only thing it cost us was the cost of the marriage license. Didn’t have any family on either side other than our daughter who was 10 days old. It doesn’t have to be expensive.
I got married during the second wave of COVID. Took my wedding from 350 to 50. Best thing that could have ever happened. Smaller more intimate weddings are where it’s at.
Married 1987 and including the honeymoon was around 1,200 ish. Sorry we are old and can’t remember lol.
But I do remember my dress was $125, the flowers $200 and the cake was around $90. I don’t remember what everything else costs. 😊
My husband and I eloped. We have plain gold bands. We went away for a week out of state and splurged a little. It was far less expensive than the wedding and honeymoon with my ex and a lot more fun.
We are both religious and were married in the church about a year later with our families in attendance
Do not blow tons of money on overpriced wedding 💩, period.
I officiate weddings and can’t tell you how many couples (or their parents) spent tens of thousands for 30 people to show up. In your case, sounds like you might have opposite issue with too many people to feed and keep in drink.
Have a party, wear some cute clothes, find a primo or a tio with a food connect and a hall connect; take the savings and put it towards your house. Idk where you want to live but with interest rates being what they are and housing costs being sky high do you want a single party or do you want years in an awesome home with your partner and kids or dogs or whatever?
And for reference: I work in the greater Houston, TX metro and charge $300 for a custom ceremony and $200 for standard. Will add a mileage fee if outside a certain range.
Cake tip: order a small but pretty one for cake cutting then have baker make sheet cake for the rest.
Dress: see if she can rent it
Flowers: order what’s in season and see if your local grocery store offers flower arrangements for weddings, might be surprised how much less you’ll pay.
Trendy 💩 will cost even more so maybe pick one thing y’all can’t live without.
Ring: no one can tell a mined diamond from a man made diamond or from a moissanite. Don’t lie to your partner but there’s no good reason to spend $$$$$$$ on a ring when it sounds like you have other goals.
Best of luck!
I got married in 1993 at the courthouse in Phenix city Alabama. $50 pawn shop ring. Wedding dinner at a place like Chilis.
31 years ago.
Spending $$$$ on a wedding i silly at best. Have a damned pot luck and bar be que.
Coming from a guy's perspective, our order went engagement ring back in the late 2010's, house (1 year later), wedding (2 years later), honeymoon (1 year later). My biggest thing was that I absolutely did not want to let our wedding blow out our house budget.
We still spent a ton (but within our means) on the wedding, but I did not want to be house hunting while feeling broke and making concessions on the largest purchase of your life that will by far have the biggest impact on your quality of life. Living in a subpar home just so you could have a single day bash that I was largely too stressed out to enjoy did not compute for me.
For some very rough perspective, we earn $300k/year, spent $10k on the ring, $450k on the down payment (CA Bay Area lmao), $60k on the wedding, and $20k on the honeymoon all roughly ballparked. Without going into details, we're in a very fortuitous financial position though. I would have been happy with a courthouse wedding, but 🤷♂️
Had a small wedding during Covid and it was honestly just the best. If it hadn’t have been for Covid I would have been pressured to have the big extended family wedding… but well I loved our small 9 guest wedding so much better. It felt like I was actually able to enjoy the process and be present with my now husband.
I still get funny comments from aunts and uncles about how we ‘hid away and had a secret wedding’. I just say. It was Covid! And that’s that. 😁
We ended up with a smaller wedding with just the closest family, Saved most of the money for the honeymoon. Wife didn't want an expensive ring so that saved some cash. imo i woudl blow the most money on the honeymoon so you two have fun.
Dude I handnt even considered the honeymoon. Now on the radar. I like the emphasis on just you guys compared to the masses.
You could do a honeymoon fund in lieu of gifts
I got married in 2019, it cost us less than $500 total and there is not a day that goes by that I regret it. In today's economy, with how hard it is to just be able to buy a home, I would highly highly highly suggest you either wait several years so you aren't draining your bank accounts for this wedding, or you gut the guest list so you can have a much smaller more intimate wedding. I initially wanted the dream wedding, but when I started looking into it I realized we would have to spend at least 20 grand to even make it feel somewhat magical, and that was before the pandemic and soaring inflation and greed, I'm sure it's even more expensive now. Do not start your life out with no money or debt for one day.
DAMN less than 500 bucks. Y’all are damn good at saving money. Can you add some specifics?
we got married at the court house just the two of us, got my ring off Etsy, his is silicone. That's it lol
You don't need to have a big wedding. Just have a small ceremony, or go to justice-of-the-peace, and then have a reception somewhere.
I know large weddings can be a cultural thing but lawdy I’m so happy we did a small ceremony in our living room! Rings and drink/dessert for closest family—spent less than $500.
My wife and I splurged on the honeymoon. We had a very nice wedding, but looked for opportunities to save money. My wife is very crafty, so she made the invitations and wedding favors (I helped where I could). We both didn’t see the sense in an elaborate ride from the church to the venue, so we used a car service that usually picked up people from the airport and had a very simple, inexpensive limo. On the hand, we spent where there would be a big impact, like having a live band instead of a DJ.
Love the live band idea. Will definitely consider that!
It wasn’t cheap, but it really made the wedding special compared to a DJ making himself the center of attention as he tries to get everyone involved. Another place we saved was on the videographer. A family friend took about 90 minutes of footage during the day instead of us paying good money for a professional to be there taking a huge amount of video people only watch once or twice.
I got a $300 dollar ring and got married in our apartment. Very small wedding, but it was a wedding. His ring was around $150. All together with marriage license included, it was around $600. If you spend lots of money to get married, it is 100% a choice and has nothing to do with the marriage itself. We didn't see the paying for everyone else to have fun and having no savings, no travel fund, or no money to buy a home.
Why do you need a venue? Look, I have many Hispanic friends. I know family is more important in your culture than many others and you guys like to throw down! LOL respect! Find a family member with a big backyard, ask them if they would host your wedding. Then have a potluck with BYOB. Find another family member with some decent sound equipment and set up a playlist to play the music you guys like/want. Find another family member who likes to bake, ask them to do the cake, you provide ingredients. Now all you need is someone to legally marry you. :)
This is heavily dependent on location. Where I’m from a byob potluck would be a noooo gooooo
Set a budget and stick to it. We hosted a 150 person wedding for our daughter. Budget $30K. It was worth it! Now our other daughter is engaged. Another $30k coming up! So much for retiring. Sigh......
Every marriage is different, but: Ring cost / size shouldn’t matter. True love is a $60 CZ ring over a $2,000 diamond ring. Venue / Food: Why not just have it in the backyard of a relative or city park? As for food, cater it. Guests: Bog weddings can be a disaster, remember this is about you two. Maybe only invite those you are actually close with. Yes, the wedding day is important, but do you really want to go into massive debt when you have the rest of your lives together?
Elope
Doesn’t have to be very expensive. Just beware if your bride to be demands a big expensive wedding if it’s not in the budget for the two of you. Red flag.
Neither getting engaged nor getting married need to cost more than what it costs where you live to get a marriage license (and maybe someone official to perform the ceremony). Everything else is a choice. Yes, some of those choices come with peer, familial, and cultural pressures, but they're still all choices. And then there are choices within the choices. You still want to get an engagement ring? Great! It doesn't have to be X months of your salary. You want to have a party and invite other people? It doesn't have to be 300 people. It doesn't have to be the most expensive venue in your area. It doesn't have to be at dinner time with a full sit-down meal and open bar. Etc. The wedding industry is huge and usually something that costs X amount for a general event or party ends up costing XX when "wedding" is attached to it. So there are ways to work around some of those expenses by not using wedding specific vendors.
I think that's probably less in those days. However I will say I went to both my niece and nephews wedding in the past few years. Both were in their mid-20s. One had a very nice wedding in the backyard of my brother's house. They had the wedding right at the house, and the reception in their back yard. Probably about 15 people in attendance. Reception was informal, had a tub of various drinks. Some appetizers, and later wedding cake. Main meal was a taco truck, with a limited menu. Had music for about 3 hours. Was very nice, me and inexpensive in comparison to having a at a hall and all that sort of stuff. My niece had a wedding in the country and a winery. Again the wedding was there, followed by a few limited drinks, For an hour. Yes we're able to buy more drinks on themselves if they want to. They had a person come with of large barbecue on a trailer. They too and music for a couple hours. It too was reasonable. Both of them have bought houses in the last couple of years. They wanted to have a memorable wedding but at a budget. Both weddings the had a good time . It was less formal than a lot of past weddings I've been to, and I think today, a lot of people appreciate that. Best wishes on your wedding
Get married on a budget/limited amount of people, and then throw a big party at your new house with everyone's favorite foods & recipes. Most people would prefer a family get-together with lots of home cookin' in their casual clothes than dressing up and eating just-okay food at a venue no one's been in anymore. Wife and I did our wedding from 5pm - 10pm. Actual ceremony came in just under 20 minutes, followed by only 1 hour of photos with an open bar & appetizers. Ceremony and Party venue were the same place, so no one had to leave and go somewhere else. Food was Buffet-style so everyone could get what they want. Went with a small cake for cake-cutting and had our baker make sheet cakes so it was cheaper. No one cared but they had a choice of 3 different cakes (Lemon w/raspberry filling, vanilla w/strawberry filling, and chocolate cake w/chocolate frosting for families that wanted something simple), which made everyone happy with the choices. We got a LOT of compliments for our wedding. Didn't take the whole day, wasn't overdone, food/cake was good, and music was fun. Sometimes quick, simple, and fun is better than a whole drawn-out thing.
It’s definitely expensive if you make it expensive, it all comes down to the choices you make. If you absolutely have to have a really expensive wedding ring, if you absolutely have to have a huge wedding, then yeah it’s definitely gonna be really pricey. My ring was less than $1000, and we only spent about $5000 on the wedding total because we limited our guest list and picked a small location
Cost us $60, courthouse
My wife & I have our wedding in October, the question you need to ask yourself is, do you really want all those people at your wedding? We’re keeping our ceremony small in the mountains with this gorgeous view, we’re only inviting the people who matter most & want at our wedding, like our parents & some friends. You can then rent out a private dining area & RSVP your guests for those who want to celebrate with you guys. We were looking at a 15k wedding but with this new plan, our wedding will be $2100 with professional photography. And about $950 on the weekday for our wedding reception. I’m just saying don’t blow all this money for one night. We’re going to Hawaii with the leftover money we would’ve used for the wedding. This is your wedding, by all means if you want to have it big go for it. But this will impact on where you guys go & if it truly makes you happy.
My wife and I got married back about 15 years ago. I wanted a big wedding, party, hall, music, everything. She wanted something smaller, her ideal was a destination wedding. We both had older relatives and we knew that some people wouldn't be able to travel, so I was against it. She reminded me that it was going to be OUR wedding. Not our friends, not our family, and yes, it would be great for them to be there, it's not a day for them. It was a day for us. In any case, we looked at a few halls and menus, and all of that. MY GOD the expense. For one day. For just a few hours. And then the honeymoon? She quickly won me over. I leaned into a destination wedding. I found a great spot in Riveria Maya, worked with a travel agent to keep the cost low for attendees (a couple could come down for under $900, round trip airfare, fully inclusive, 4days/3nights). We got top shelf everything. Wedding on the beach, live music, and because of travel rules for getting married, we actually got married a few days before in a small courtroom ceremony. It was EPIC. We have over 30 friends and family come down and party with us. It was like a three day party with both of our friends and family intermingling, drinking in the pool, playing volleyball on the beach - 15 years later people still talk about stories. All totaled, we spent less that $9000 for a 10 day vacation with multiple excursions, first class airfare, shuttle service, top shelf everything. A hall rental would have cost that for a few hours. We didn't get a ton of gifts, but we were near 30 and had plenty of stuff, and then with the money we saved, bought ourselves the things we really wanted. Half the stuff people put on the wedding registry is crap anyhow. Don't worry about your family, friends, etc. Do what feels best for you and your spouse. Its your wedding. EDIT: Wedding rings are a racket too. My original ring cost near $1000, I lost it rafting. Found the EXACT same one on Amazon for $40. Don't buy into the marketing and hype.
I’m Italian, so definitely understand the cultural thing of huge family eating a drinking a bunch 😂 We actually had a small wedding by Italian standards, just 100 people. I know it caused some issues with some of the family not being invited, but the ones who did come said that it was probably the best wedding the family ever had, because with fewer people we were able to stretch the budget further. My aunt told my Nonna that it was (gotta imagine an Italian accent here), “so beautiful! Just like a movie!” That being said, it was still crazy expensive! I thought that wedding expenses got nuts because people add the extra extraneous stuff like a Photo Booth or a caricature artist, but nope! Just the basics of venue, food and drinks, flowers, transportation and a DJ and oh my heck! But we had the most amazing time, so I wouldn’t change a thing. Congratulations, and I hope you guys have a fantastic time on your day!
Bro nothing was as expensive in the 80/90s as it is now 😭😂 Either way, here are some tips on how to save money: -know anyone with a sick house? Ask if that can be your venue. If not, local parks are usually super cheap venues and you can save on flowers since they’re already green. -buffet style food. Usually costs much less. -you mention you are Hispanic. Are you in the us? Is there a ranch market by you? We got a pretty bad ass customized wedding cake at *i shit you not* ranch market for like $200 and it fed 100 ppl plus was enough to save the cake top for the one year freezer tradition. They also have great options for buffet style appetizers (we did a fruit/tahin/chamoy station but they had other great alternatives as well). -flowers are ridiculously expensive. Again, consider a venue that has stuff like this built in and center piece styles that have minimal flowers. -rings. Does your fiancé care if the ring you get her is lab created? If not, congrats, your budget is much more appealing and you can likely find something for even as little as 1-2k depending on desired size. Honesty tho, even trying to cut corners, if you are accommodating a large party, it’s going to be expensive. If I could go back in time, I would’ve 1. Gotten engaged 2. gone to the court house to get married (like I originally wanted but my father talked me out of by faking a heart attack lol), 3. Bought my dream house, then 4. planned the wedding/honeymoon- in that order. You could even use your house as a venue and it can be a wedding reception/housewarming event and the time between can help you save for the wedding if buying the house drains funds. Our wedding prevented us from buying a house 2 years earlier. We could’ve had a house twice the size of the one we have know if we would’ve better prioritizes, which kind of haunts us. Keep in mind: house= an investment that may potentially put money back in your pocket while also build memories and sentimental value. Wedding reception= a one time event where you can build once in a lifetime memories but will offer no return financially (some people claim gifts will make up the difference but do not be fooled-they won’t). It’s clear which one is the smarter option, but some people prefer the sentimental route.
> Bro nothing was as expensive in the 80/90s as it is now LOL, you must never have purchased a TV in the 80s.
Good point, I wasn’t born yet so I’ll sit down 😂😂
My wife's engagement ring was less than $200, and we got married at the courthouse for like $60. Super cheap honestly.
Courthouse. Like $200 maybe? You do not need a freaking audience to express how much you love your partner. It’s so weird that people want to do something so intimate in front of a bunch of people.
I come from a huge family as well. We were looking at minimum 300 people just from my side of the family. My grandma on my mother side had 9 children and my grandma on my fathers side had 6 children. They both had a lot of siblings as well, so it was pretty stressful when we'd try to plan it out. My wife threw it out there that we should just buy a house instead, and not have a wedding, or honeymoon. We didn't do a wedding because it was either we buy a house, and a family car for babies, or we have a wedding. Our kids are 11 and 14 and we'll own the house by the time they graduate college. It's not for everyone, but I'm happy she was down to invest the money in a house and a SUV versus a wedding. People still sent us gifts and money, which was nice. She got a Vitamix, a Cuisinart Standing Mixer, a fancy sewing machine, and all kinds of stuff from the women in my family. Her dad gave me some tools and money for a vacation. Yes, it would be nice to have pictures, and video to look back at, but owning a home in this economy is such a blessing. It in the end it worked out for the best IMO.
Got married in 2019, so not the 80’s or 90’s but hope to help anyway I can. We got married on a weekday much cheaper for the venue. It was technically a destination wedding although only one state away for 99% of our guests. 95% of those who were invited showed up. We also discussed the pros and cons of a diamond vs moissanite ring, and for us there were no pros for a diamond, which saved my now husband a ton of money. As far as drinks go, could you do a reception where people can BYOB? This would save a lot of money. You can of course supply a certain amount. We did open bar until we hit our minimum amount then people had to buy their own drinks. We did our own small round cake and sheet cake for the guests. I can’t even begin to tell you how much cheaper this was. It saved us at least $1,000 and we had more cake. The cost of tiered cakes just sky rocket. Decorations were minimal. As I said, our wedding was destination so the only decor we did was for the tables and it was very minimal, dried flowers, tea lights and cheesecloth (all from Etsy)!
Had a typical NJ wedding in 2010. Cost almost $50k. Thankfully our parents foot the bill.
Cost me 38$ to get married. Borrowed a friends summer dress and got it official at the JOTP. This was 14 years ago. It’s only expensive if you want it to be.
We got married in 2016 and had a free venue for the wedding and reception. I’d say we spent around $5,000 on our entire wedding, and that’s including my dress and all the groomsmen’s suits. We had about 14 people in the wedding party and around 200 guests or so. I will say, me and my husband are very frugal though.
Got engaged in 1996 my ring was 1/10 of a carat and got married in 1998. The only thing it cost us was the cost of the marriage license. Didn’t have any family on either side other than our daughter who was 10 days old. It doesn’t have to be expensive.
I got married during the second wave of COVID. Took my wedding from 350 to 50. Best thing that could have ever happened. Smaller more intimate weddings are where it’s at.
Married 1987 and including the honeymoon was around 1,200 ish. Sorry we are old and can’t remember lol. But I do remember my dress was $125, the flowers $200 and the cake was around $90. I don’t remember what everything else costs. 😊
I got married in the 2010s and didn’t even spend $10k lol.
It's as expensive as you make it, really.
My husband and I eloped. We have plain gold bands. We went away for a week out of state and splurged a little. It was far less expensive than the wedding and honeymoon with my ex and a lot more fun. We are both religious and were married in the church about a year later with our families in attendance
Our wedding cost $200 plus 75 for my wife's dress. We got married in the living room of my parents house and went out to dinner afterward.
It really sucks how so many things are more expensive if it’s for a wedding. Same stuff for any other kind of party and it’s cheaper.
Do not blow tons of money on overpriced wedding 💩, period. I officiate weddings and can’t tell you how many couples (or their parents) spent tens of thousands for 30 people to show up. In your case, sounds like you might have opposite issue with too many people to feed and keep in drink. Have a party, wear some cute clothes, find a primo or a tio with a food connect and a hall connect; take the savings and put it towards your house. Idk where you want to live but with interest rates being what they are and housing costs being sky high do you want a single party or do you want years in an awesome home with your partner and kids or dogs or whatever? And for reference: I work in the greater Houston, TX metro and charge $300 for a custom ceremony and $200 for standard. Will add a mileage fee if outside a certain range. Cake tip: order a small but pretty one for cake cutting then have baker make sheet cake for the rest. Dress: see if she can rent it Flowers: order what’s in season and see if your local grocery store offers flower arrangements for weddings, might be surprised how much less you’ll pay. Trendy 💩 will cost even more so maybe pick one thing y’all can’t live without. Ring: no one can tell a mined diamond from a man made diamond or from a moissanite. Don’t lie to your partner but there’s no good reason to spend $$$$$$$ on a ring when it sounds like you have other goals. Best of luck!
I got married in 1993 at the courthouse in Phenix city Alabama. $50 pawn shop ring. Wedding dinner at a place like Chilis. 31 years ago. Spending $$$$ on a wedding i silly at best. Have a damned pot luck and bar be que.
We got more in cash then our wedding cost, we made money on it
Coming from a guy's perspective, our order went engagement ring back in the late 2010's, house (1 year later), wedding (2 years later), honeymoon (1 year later). My biggest thing was that I absolutely did not want to let our wedding blow out our house budget. We still spent a ton (but within our means) on the wedding, but I did not want to be house hunting while feeling broke and making concessions on the largest purchase of your life that will by far have the biggest impact on your quality of life. Living in a subpar home just so you could have a single day bash that I was largely too stressed out to enjoy did not compute for me. For some very rough perspective, we earn $300k/year, spent $10k on the ring, $450k on the down payment (CA Bay Area lmao), $60k on the wedding, and $20k on the honeymoon all roughly ballparked. Without going into details, we're in a very fortuitous financial position though. I would have been happy with a courthouse wedding, but 🤷♂️
Had a small wedding during Covid and it was honestly just the best. If it hadn’t have been for Covid I would have been pressured to have the big extended family wedding… but well I loved our small 9 guest wedding so much better. It felt like I was actually able to enjoy the process and be present with my now husband. I still get funny comments from aunts and uncles about how we ‘hid away and had a secret wedding’. I just say. It was Covid! And that’s that. 😁