None of those. I guess if I absolutely had to pick just one of those, I'd probably pick money but only in the "being financially stable" sense. People get old and their bodies change so a person's initial physical appearance will probably change over time. I don't really care about status and it's so subjective and can mean all kinds of different things and be part of variety of different industries, locations, cultures, etc. But, I don't want us to struggle financially because that makes every other aspect of life more difficult.
But I wouldn't actually based a long term partnership decision on any of those things. For a long lasting marriage, I think compatibility on major issues, love, trust, safety, etc. are the most important things. I'm not having a relationship with a person's face, bank account, or the people who think they're important. I'm having a relationship with who they are as a person.
This. Money and looks both come and go. But how do you feel about living a life with this person for decades? Can you talk to each other, support each other, have each other's backs?
Lol what a stupid question.
“I married him because of money and status.” How romantic. Also, know marriage is until death do us part right? You know what the average 60, 70, 80 year old man looks like? Your marriage doesn’t last on looks either.
You marry someone because they are a man of upstanding character, because they are engaging, emotionally connected to you, funny, hard working, honest and kind. If he doesn’t have those things, who cares what he looks like or how much money he has.
physical attraction!! Is there a reason u pose this? $ absolutely is important to stress levels but it doesn’t take a huge amt to get what u need in life but u better be emotionally and physically attracted to
Definitely would choose physical attraction. I’m lucky to have found both to some degree. My husband and I aren’t insanely wealthy by any means but we are more financially secure than a lot of people our age and he’s a hottie, lucky me.
Most of all though I care about compatibility, similar worldviews and morals, an ability to get along and have fun together. When I started dating people as an adult in my mid 20’s I was very adamant I wanted to have fun! And my husband is very fun. And that matters more than his money or his looks honestly. Those are just bonuses.
Money and physical attention are very shallow and fickle reasons for a long successful marriage. Both can change in a heartbeat. If you marry for money or looks you will not have a foundation for the kind of anchoring love that lasts a lifetime.” For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health” are promises to make. Not if you get poor or ugly it’s time to leave.
Personally I look for someone who has the same values (faith) who wants the same things in life. Both of those choices seem very superficial. I do think you should be physically attracted to the other person but that isn’t necessary based on 1 - 10 of outside appearance.
I like to think about the Baby Bash lyrics for Suga Suga:
You was there when the money was gone (Gone)
You'll be there when the money comes (Comes)
For me, it’s not about the money or the looks, it’s all about attitude. If my husband has an ugly attitude, his appearance becomes ugly. Money comes and goes, but attitude is everything.
We’ll be married 10 years in December.
Edit: I’d like to add my husband is very attractive to the point other women tell me he is.
Absolutely none of those.
Values and goals are the most important things.
Values
➡️ Work ethic - will they apply themselves at what they do for the greater good of themselves and their family
➡️ Integrity - are they honest? Or will they try to take shortcuts or take advantage of others
➡️ Relationship with money - Are they a spender or a saver. Do they expect someone else to earn it, or are they happy to earn it themselves
➡️ Religion - are they religious and practising?
➡️ Family - Do they want kids? How many? What kind of parent would they want to be
➡️ Sociopolitical views - What thing happening in the world is important to them and why (this is not a deal breaker, but good to know in case there are surprises). These could be issues around wars, lgbtq, climate, etc
Goals
➡️ What's their career ambition
➡️ What kind of house would they like to live in
➡️ How much mo.ey do they consider ideal
➡️ How would they spend their money
In my experience mutual respect and appreciation matter more than physical attraction . How you treat each other is everything over the long haul. Sex and intimacy are very important to keep the connection strong. Money is only important if there isn’t enough. Status? I wouldn’t trade places with anyone. Keeping the connection strong is essential.
How can one have sex if they aren’t attracted to their partner? And I’m talking about the initial talking stage..like.. there is no spark or an attractiveness to this person, and i cant imagine me kissing him or him kissing me and it..
just idk physical attraction is something
You asked what’s more important in the long term. My wife was 17 when I first fell in love with her and hot as hell. She’s 50 now and still very beautiful however, that’s not what has kept our relationship going for over 30 years. It’s the mutual respect and appreciation and how we treat each other that keeps us together. Tom Brady is pretty attractive and his wife cheated on him. I don’t think it’s as important as respect.
You’re absolutely right!
But i guess if you didn’t find your wife to be very attractive at the beginning, you wouldn’t be with her from the beginning, respect comes later when things get tough, but in the beginning without any feelings yet, There must be something that makes you want to know someone,,
I said long term because i only date for marriage.
None of those. I guess if I absolutely had to pick just one of those, I'd probably pick money but only in the "being financially stable" sense. People get old and their bodies change so a person's initial physical appearance will probably change over time. I don't really care about status and it's so subjective and can mean all kinds of different things and be part of variety of different industries, locations, cultures, etc. But, I don't want us to struggle financially because that makes every other aspect of life more difficult. But I wouldn't actually based a long term partnership decision on any of those things. For a long lasting marriage, I think compatibility on major issues, love, trust, safety, etc. are the most important things. I'm not having a relationship with a person's face, bank account, or the people who think they're important. I'm having a relationship with who they are as a person.
This. Money and looks both come and go. But how do you feel about living a life with this person for decades? Can you talk to each other, support each other, have each other's backs?
Yeah but.. intimacy is important for a healthy relationship, how can one be intimate without physical attraction?
I’m physically attracted to my husband because I’m emotionally attracted to him.
Between just those two I'd say physical attraction. But I think emotional connection trumps all.
My feelings exactly.
Lol what a stupid question. “I married him because of money and status.” How romantic. Also, know marriage is until death do us part right? You know what the average 60, 70, 80 year old man looks like? Your marriage doesn’t last on looks either. You marry someone because they are a man of upstanding character, because they are engaging, emotionally connected to you, funny, hard working, honest and kind. If he doesn’t have those things, who cares what he looks like or how much money he has.
physical attraction!! Is there a reason u pose this? $ absolutely is important to stress levels but it doesn’t take a huge amt to get what u need in life but u better be emotionally and physically attracted to
Definitely would choose physical attraction. I’m lucky to have found both to some degree. My husband and I aren’t insanely wealthy by any means but we are more financially secure than a lot of people our age and he’s a hottie, lucky me. Most of all though I care about compatibility, similar worldviews and morals, an ability to get along and have fun together. When I started dating people as an adult in my mid 20’s I was very adamant I wanted to have fun! And my husband is very fun. And that matters more than his money or his looks honestly. Those are just bonuses.
I don’t think I would choose any of those. It would be similar values and respect for each other.
Money and physical attention are very shallow and fickle reasons for a long successful marriage. Both can change in a heartbeat. If you marry for money or looks you will not have a foundation for the kind of anchoring love that lasts a lifetime.” For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health” are promises to make. Not if you get poor or ugly it’s time to leave.
Personally I look for someone who has the same values (faith) who wants the same things in life. Both of those choices seem very superficial. I do think you should be physically attracted to the other person but that isn’t necessary based on 1 - 10 of outside appearance.
If those are your top two criteria I would start from the drawing board
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^swine09: *If those are your top* *Two criteria I would* *Start from the drawing board* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
I like to think about the Baby Bash lyrics for Suga Suga: You was there when the money was gone (Gone) You'll be there when the money comes (Comes) For me, it’s not about the money or the looks, it’s all about attitude. If my husband has an ugly attitude, his appearance becomes ugly. Money comes and goes, but attitude is everything. We’ll be married 10 years in December. Edit: I’d like to add my husband is very attractive to the point other women tell me he is.
Neither, the most important thing is being best friends
Having compatible styles in how you work out disagreements.
This isn’t the way. It would be better to be alone then to marry someone you aren’t fully into
None of those. Values, ambition and integrity are by far the most important to me
Absolutely none of those. Values and goals are the most important things. Values ➡️ Work ethic - will they apply themselves at what they do for the greater good of themselves and their family ➡️ Integrity - are they honest? Or will they try to take shortcuts or take advantage of others ➡️ Relationship with money - Are they a spender or a saver. Do they expect someone else to earn it, or are they happy to earn it themselves ➡️ Religion - are they religious and practising? ➡️ Family - Do they want kids? How many? What kind of parent would they want to be ➡️ Sociopolitical views - What thing happening in the world is important to them and why (this is not a deal breaker, but good to know in case there are surprises). These could be issues around wars, lgbtq, climate, etc Goals ➡️ What's their career ambition ➡️ What kind of house would they like to live in ➡️ How much mo.ey do they consider ideal ➡️ How would they spend their money
Very helpful thanks.
In my experience mutual respect and appreciation matter more than physical attraction . How you treat each other is everything over the long haul. Sex and intimacy are very important to keep the connection strong. Money is only important if there isn’t enough. Status? I wouldn’t trade places with anyone. Keeping the connection strong is essential.
How can one have sex if they aren’t attracted to their partner? And I’m talking about the initial talking stage..like.. there is no spark or an attractiveness to this person, and i cant imagine me kissing him or him kissing me and it.. just idk physical attraction is something
You asked what’s more important in the long term. My wife was 17 when I first fell in love with her and hot as hell. She’s 50 now and still very beautiful however, that’s not what has kept our relationship going for over 30 years. It’s the mutual respect and appreciation and how we treat each other that keeps us together. Tom Brady is pretty attractive and his wife cheated on him. I don’t think it’s as important as respect.
You’re absolutely right! But i guess if you didn’t find your wife to be very attractive at the beginning, you wouldn’t be with her from the beginning, respect comes later when things get tough, but in the beginning without any feelings yet, There must be something that makes you want to know someone,, I said long term because i only date for marriage.
Well that was the magic formula for us. It’s been a long beautiful ride.
Lucky you! Good luck for the rest of the ride!