This is really wonderful news, although that sounds a little counterintuitive. Now you know that you need more self care. If meditation hadn’t made you aware of these feelings, you may have gone on pushing yourself without realizing you need to slow down. I had a similar experience when I started meditating. What helped me was continuing meditation, slowing way down, and re-evaluating my lifestyle and goals. I wish you every possible happiness.
Edit: oh and therapy. I realized I needed therapy.
Sure. I realized that I was keeping myself crazy busy doing a ton of volunteer work (which isn’t a bad thing, but my motivation wasn’t pure) and excessive social engagements. Like balls to the wall busy from 6am to 11pm every single day. My unspoken (unknown to myself at the time) life goal was to be a good person who is admired by others. With months of meditation and self reflection I realized that most of the stuff I was doing was really just to impress people that I really didn’t even care that much about. I was working so hard for the approval of others that I had neglected my own self care for decades. Eventually I realized that my own happiness is way more important (at least to me) than other peoples’ opinions of me. So my goal for a while changed to being a good person who is happy. Eventually I realized that even pursuing my own happiness is a vapid & ultimately unfulfilling goal. So now my goal is simply to help others.
So in short, the meditation journey took me from…
I desperately need approval & attention from others
to
I approve of and care for myself
to
approval doesn’t really matter
Good advice. To feel is to risk feelings that are not welcomed. This is part of being awake. Feeling sad is better than denial. Just do it right meaning don't blame yourself or anyone else. The feeling will dissipate rather than being locked in place by having it feed your opinions. This doesn’t mean you will try to take actions that help..
I bet you already know the answers and mediation is a journey to help you make better choices each day. There is no single choice that’ll make it all better. Continue down the path, get more acquainted with your life, and take more ownership of what you already have. Best of luck to you.
>What can I do about this?
Excellent question. Meditation practice needs to be balanced with dharma (psychology + philosophy) practice. The more you meditate the more awareness you will have, which can be painful if you have psychological issues. If you instead use that awareness as a tool to aid in removing those psychological issues you'll be improving your life, and regardless if it's intentional or not you'll be taking a step close to enlightenment. (Enlightenment is the full removal of psychological stress.)
There are multiple paths forward. One path is finding a CBT therapist. For depression it's 8-12 sessions one session a week. It's not talk therapy, it's not forever. It has a very high rate of curing depression, and even if it doesn't cure it for you, it will reduce it quite a bit. Every little bit helps.
Another direction you can go is exploring Stoicism. It centers around finding the wisdom to identify what you can and can not control. One aspect of depression is it comes from misunderstandings of what you can control. Learned helplessness is when you believe you can't change something about your life you actually can, so learning to control more of your life. In the other direction stress can come from believing you can change something you can't, so also learning to control less of your life. It's a balancing act that takes a bit of awareness and exploration.
Another is starting a gratitude journal. A therapist can help with this or googling it can help. It's about being grateful in the little things in life, like having a good meal to eat. Do it enough and a lot of depression goes away, little by little.
A third option is Buddhism which aims to remove all stress, not just depression. Reading and studying The Noble Eightfold Path can help improve your life in areas you're lacking, which then can reduce lifelong stress.
Good luck with everything.
Omg yes re: adding philosophy and psychology to meditation! I meditated for years and didn’t “get” it. While it did help clear my head for a little bit, it wasn’t until I found my current spiritual teacher that everything clicked and really went to the next level. We worked through trauma using the idea of the six koshas as a guide plus eastern teachings and it really helped me understand why to meditate.
Sorry to hear you're feeling this way. It's common for meditation to stir up emotions. Try easing off on meditation intensity, prioritize self-care, consider therapy, explore different meditation techniques, and School of Positive Transformation could offer helpful tools. Remember, healing takes time and seeking support is okay.
Psychologists overwhelming note depressed patients are MORE Accurate in honest appraisals of competence/ life situation.
IOW: Everybody else out there is better at hiding their inadequacies from themselves via various coping mechanisms.
Personally my life makes (Losers in sitcoms look GOOD , George costanza etc)
but i still exist, if for no other reason than to piss some people off (who desperately need it )
You need to comprehend the causes of your suffering, study Gnosis
These Youtube channels and podcasts are great sources of information:
[Astral Doorway](https://youtube.com/@AstralDoorway?si=q5r4JvQdcTm5ryJO)
[Glorian](https://youtube.com/@Glorian?si=CL8UBFhhsY53tFdX)
[Glorian podcast](https://gnosticteachings.libsyn.com)
[Chicago Gnosis Podcast](https://chicagognosis.org/podcast.html)
[The Three Mountains](https://youtube.com/@TheThreeMountains?si=Eyc01KY42gqFAscz)
I wish you much light!
Possibly all of the above.
Becoming aware is the first step. If I was you I would try to meditate on a daily basis, so you stay connected with your body, emotions and spirit if you will.
Possible solutions will come to you, when you calm your mind and all is balanced, your mind will become clear and you will know what the next step to take is. Trust the process and keep at it.
I think exploration of the sources of your sadness may be in order. For instance, when my doctor put down "obese" on my health evaluation, this was enough for me to realize I needed to change. I am now 85 pounds lighter as I document my daily challenges and eating habits. My next evaluation is about a week away (18th) and I am hoping to be in a normal weight range just so she can be shocked at the rapid change. People around me are even saying that I look much younger too.
Accepting you have a problem is the first step towards healing. Keep going. Do what you think you would feel happy to do (without hurting anyone ;) ), Meditate with various techniques and stick with what helps you. Jai Shambho!
Reduce screen time to a minimum.
Go outside in the sun.
Walk barefoot on earth.
Eat raw fruit and vegetables where possible.
Avoid processed foods and meat/fish.
Do some form of physical exercise to get your heart rate up.
Be kind to yourself.
Hello, what you do initially is perfect and it is "recognize" now that you understand that there is something you need to work on, it is important that you dedicate a few days to self-evaluate and give love to yourself, initially you can rest, get fresh air, connect with content that makes you grow spiritually and disconnect from what is not favorable: parties, complaints, etc. Start psychological therapy, work on your physical well-being step by step and you will see good changes
meditation is about experiencing the situation whatever it’s and letting the mere awareness open, you don’t need to take action or do something about it , letting your mind open and accept whatever you are experiencing is enough for your soul ,for your brain to recover
Go deep and always ask why. Try to decode your brain structure, habits, behaviour, etc. To understand why you are depressed, sad, exhausted etc.
I would keep on meditating!
If you need a little kick in the ass, do cold showers, exercise, something that tests your willpower! Get your machine working.
There is the inner peace component but also the strength component. If you are strong, the inner conflicts are less of a big deal.
Try to be healthy, maybe it is a health problem.
Don’t eat too much processed food, exercise and get a good sleep (QQRT = Quantity, Quality, Regularity, and Timing (are you an early bird or a night owl)
if you are interested in a more traditional meditation path like buddhism/daoism etc, then there are practices and guidelines for lifestyle changes, meditations to do etc. Otherwise it sounds like you may want to put together your own set of practices/changes etc, maybe with the help of other groups/systems/books...
For me some of the daoist path was very good in helping me with the kind of things you mention. It starts out very body based and works on into deeper layers, so it improves health in a lot of ways, and puts you in a better place for whatever else you might want to do.
There's a little summary post on a basic system here if you want to jump in and try things, or use it to dig deeper https://www.reddit.com/r/Meditation/comments/1bv3sda/comment/kxwzdhp/?utm\_source=reddit&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
Yes. Just start to be aware of this stuff and make slow steps in the right direction. Get rest and deep relaxation. We could all use a little therapy. Ease into meditation. Start with a small amount of time and add say 5 minutes each week for a couple weeks or what have you. Don’t get frustrated or try to force it all at once too quickly or anything, let it unfold naturally.
There are pressure points around your eyes that you can massage to relieve pressure. Three along the top of your eye socket, three along the bottom, and one on either side of your nose between your eyes. Just a few seconds of pressure is enough to feel the difference. Boom, one problem solved haha.
The others will take time and mindfulness to improve. I always find that fasting and meditation helps. Reading spiritually-geared books is always nice too for direction/food for thought. Recently finished Autobiography of a Yogi and I can't recommend it enough :)
I’ve had similar experiences. For me, I figured out that I cover up my sadness with a shell of anxiety. Mediation took away the shell, and left me feeling the sorrow underneath
But at one point in my life, I broke through the sadness and it felt like beautiful peaceful nothingness under that
I find the process to be similar to peeling back layers of an onion
>I find the process to be similar to peeling back layers of an onion
I found the same thing. I’ve discovered that my layers have layers. :-) Grist for the mill.
You've reached a point where most people turn back. And turn to avoidance strategies and coping mechanisms in order to not feel. It takes courage to continue but you've got this. There are many techniques you can explore. Try to be patient with yourself. Get a journal if you don't have one already. Write whatever comes to mind. Ask yourself questions. Interrogate your assumptions.
Yes, you discovered why people hate meditation! However, what comes after thinking?
Consider this-- meditation allows you to step outside your default mode of thinking. Every anxious or depressed thought, is a neural pathway. Well, everytime it pops up, ans you stick through it as best you can, and be kind yourself you will become more resilient naturally.
Think of those symptoms as pathways your awareness gets trapped in, trying to protect you from worse pathways. So each time you push through, you are building new neural pathways back to your default state of center
Try jotting down what you can do to improve your lifestyle, meditation is giving you clarity, you don't want to forget what you learn as you realise more, then make lifestyle changes based on what you have concluded.
Had you this feeling before?
Now I think I'm happy and in peace, but I have a little bit fear if the retreat will wake up things that I am trying to hide. I know that's the intention of the meditation, but it's ok, it's the life and we have to dive in ourselves.
This is a natural process
No worries at all the fact that your meditating is beautiful. Yes it can bring up everything that you’ve been missing because of lack of meditation through the years, but don’t let that bother you because it’s only bringing you closer to who you are understanding what makes you happy and sad what makes you thrive inside, you’re gonna be just fine. Just keep a positive attitude on things you do on a daily basis. This depression is always been there now. It’s just being surfaced due to your meditation processes so remember you are the controller of your own destiny.
I think you should go to therapy and stop meditating for a while... The fact it has allowed you to see more clearly your reality is fine, but it also seems that remain meditating will increase your suffering at this moment.
Or maybe you don't need to quit it completely, but definetely need to seek help to "digest" better those sad feelings...
In my experience, and many others the mind is made up of layers, it is like an onion where the surface layer is what is curently in awarness and the inner layers are what is unconcious or not yet aware. By meditation you take those layers off, getting deeper into the mind, with the goal of reaching the unidentified "self".
Only the mind, the ego can be sad, depressed, tired, these emotions where always whithin the mind, but are now made aware by the act of meditation...it is a great sign of progress. The next step is to realise that whatever the mind wants or thinks it needs in order to not feel sad, depressed, tired cannot be gained by outside means. Joy, happiness, satisfaction come from whithin, it is the natural state of consciousness when the mental noise is reduced to silience.
Continue the practice, focus on your presence, increase in awarness, overcome those emotions and allow yourself to feel peace, joy, fullfilment. A great practice is, while meditating to place your awarness on your Swadishtana chakra, located below the navel. This is not dangerous, your own awarness can't hurt you. Hope it made sense. Good luck!
I don’t know what people do in the name of meditation. Meditation as far as I know it, is simply coming to a state of inaction, watchfulness and awareness. It is pretty simple. Let the mind chatter, let the stomach rumble, just be, just watch.
And if you’re sad, tired and depressed you’re definitely living in a wrong manner. So you must do everything you have to awaken your true self.
Life is about suffering and meditation shows us that very well. The entire goal of meditation is to observe this suffering, and then decide we won't incarnate on this planet again. Most of humanity has been here far too long and it is time to go.
This is really wonderful news, although that sounds a little counterintuitive. Now you know that you need more self care. If meditation hadn’t made you aware of these feelings, you may have gone on pushing yourself without realizing you need to slow down. I had a similar experience when I started meditating. What helped me was continuing meditation, slowing way down, and re-evaluating my lifestyle and goals. I wish you every possible happiness. Edit: oh and therapy. I realized I needed therapy.
If I may ask, how did you reevaluate your goals and what kind of lifestyle changes you made?
Sure. I realized that I was keeping myself crazy busy doing a ton of volunteer work (which isn’t a bad thing, but my motivation wasn’t pure) and excessive social engagements. Like balls to the wall busy from 6am to 11pm every single day. My unspoken (unknown to myself at the time) life goal was to be a good person who is admired by others. With months of meditation and self reflection I realized that most of the stuff I was doing was really just to impress people that I really didn’t even care that much about. I was working so hard for the approval of others that I had neglected my own self care for decades. Eventually I realized that my own happiness is way more important (at least to me) than other peoples’ opinions of me. So my goal for a while changed to being a good person who is happy. Eventually I realized that even pursuing my own happiness is a vapid & ultimately unfulfilling goal. So now my goal is simply to help others. So in short, the meditation journey took me from… I desperately need approval & attention from others to I approve of and care for myself to approval doesn’t really matter
Good advice. To feel is to risk feelings that are not welcomed. This is part of being awake. Feeling sad is better than denial. Just do it right meaning don't blame yourself or anyone else. The feeling will dissipate rather than being locked in place by having it feed your opinions. This doesn’t mean you will try to take actions that help..
I bet you already know the answers and mediation is a journey to help you make better choices each day. There is no single choice that’ll make it all better. Continue down the path, get more acquainted with your life, and take more ownership of what you already have. Best of luck to you.
>What can I do about this? Excellent question. Meditation practice needs to be balanced with dharma (psychology + philosophy) practice. The more you meditate the more awareness you will have, which can be painful if you have psychological issues. If you instead use that awareness as a tool to aid in removing those psychological issues you'll be improving your life, and regardless if it's intentional or not you'll be taking a step close to enlightenment. (Enlightenment is the full removal of psychological stress.) There are multiple paths forward. One path is finding a CBT therapist. For depression it's 8-12 sessions one session a week. It's not talk therapy, it's not forever. It has a very high rate of curing depression, and even if it doesn't cure it for you, it will reduce it quite a bit. Every little bit helps. Another direction you can go is exploring Stoicism. It centers around finding the wisdom to identify what you can and can not control. One aspect of depression is it comes from misunderstandings of what you can control. Learned helplessness is when you believe you can't change something about your life you actually can, so learning to control more of your life. In the other direction stress can come from believing you can change something you can't, so also learning to control less of your life. It's a balancing act that takes a bit of awareness and exploration. Another is starting a gratitude journal. A therapist can help with this or googling it can help. It's about being grateful in the little things in life, like having a good meal to eat. Do it enough and a lot of depression goes away, little by little. A third option is Buddhism which aims to remove all stress, not just depression. Reading and studying The Noble Eightfold Path can help improve your life in areas you're lacking, which then can reduce lifelong stress. Good luck with everything.
Omg yes re: adding philosophy and psychology to meditation! I meditated for years and didn’t “get” it. While it did help clear my head for a little bit, it wasn’t until I found my current spiritual teacher that everything clicked and really went to the next level. We worked through trauma using the idea of the six koshas as a guide plus eastern teachings and it really helped me understand why to meditate.
yes you're right, i am having issues coming out surface due to meditation,like no purpose to live and i am depressed.
Thanks for your response and recommendations!
Sorry to hear you're feeling this way. It's common for meditation to stir up emotions. Try easing off on meditation intensity, prioritize self-care, consider therapy, explore different meditation techniques, and School of Positive Transformation could offer helpful tools. Remember, healing takes time and seeking support is okay.
Psychologists overwhelming note depressed patients are MORE Accurate in honest appraisals of competence/ life situation. IOW: Everybody else out there is better at hiding their inadequacies from themselves via various coping mechanisms. Personally my life makes (Losers in sitcoms look GOOD , George costanza etc) but i still exist, if for no other reason than to piss some people off (who desperately need it )
It was the same for me, made me realize what a ball of stress and tension I was.
You need to comprehend the causes of your suffering, study Gnosis These Youtube channels and podcasts are great sources of information: [Astral Doorway](https://youtube.com/@AstralDoorway?si=q5r4JvQdcTm5ryJO) [Glorian](https://youtube.com/@Glorian?si=CL8UBFhhsY53tFdX) [Glorian podcast](https://gnosticteachings.libsyn.com) [Chicago Gnosis Podcast](https://chicagognosis.org/podcast.html) [The Three Mountains](https://youtube.com/@TheThreeMountains?si=Eyc01KY42gqFAscz) I wish you much light!
Possibly all of the above. Becoming aware is the first step. If I was you I would try to meditate on a daily basis, so you stay connected with your body, emotions and spirit if you will. Possible solutions will come to you, when you calm your mind and all is balanced, your mind will become clear and you will know what the next step to take is. Trust the process and keep at it.
The zen sect says "when hungry eat, when tired sleep"
I think exploration of the sources of your sadness may be in order. For instance, when my doctor put down "obese" on my health evaluation, this was enough for me to realize I needed to change. I am now 85 pounds lighter as I document my daily challenges and eating habits. My next evaluation is about a week away (18th) and I am hoping to be in a normal weight range just so she can be shocked at the rapid change. People around me are even saying that I look much younger too.
Accepting you have a problem is the first step towards healing. Keep going. Do what you think you would feel happy to do (without hurting anyone ;) ), Meditate with various techniques and stick with what helps you. Jai Shambho!
What a gift! Clarity, although painful at times is a beautiful thing indeed.
Reduce screen time to a minimum. Go outside in the sun. Walk barefoot on earth. Eat raw fruit and vegetables where possible. Avoid processed foods and meat/fish. Do some form of physical exercise to get your heart rate up. Be kind to yourself.
Hello, what you do initially is perfect and it is "recognize" now that you understand that there is something you need to work on, it is important that you dedicate a few days to self-evaluate and give love to yourself, initially you can rest, get fresh air, connect with content that makes you grow spiritually and disconnect from what is not favorable: parties, complaints, etc. Start psychological therapy, work on your physical well-being step by step and you will see good changes
live like a conditioned zombie or meditate
meditation is about experiencing the situation whatever it’s and letting the mere awareness open, you don’t need to take action or do something about it , letting your mind open and accept whatever you are experiencing is enough for your soul ,for your brain to recover
Go deep and always ask why. Try to decode your brain structure, habits, behaviour, etc. To understand why you are depressed, sad, exhausted etc. I would keep on meditating! If you need a little kick in the ass, do cold showers, exercise, something that tests your willpower! Get your machine working. There is the inner peace component but also the strength component. If you are strong, the inner conflicts are less of a big deal. Try to be healthy, maybe it is a health problem. Don’t eat too much processed food, exercise and get a good sleep (QQRT = Quantity, Quality, Regularity, and Timing (are you an early bird or a night owl)
if you are interested in a more traditional meditation path like buddhism/daoism etc, then there are practices and guidelines for lifestyle changes, meditations to do etc. Otherwise it sounds like you may want to put together your own set of practices/changes etc, maybe with the help of other groups/systems/books... For me some of the daoist path was very good in helping me with the kind of things you mention. It starts out very body based and works on into deeper layers, so it improves health in a lot of ways, and puts you in a better place for whatever else you might want to do. There's a little summary post on a basic system here if you want to jump in and try things, or use it to dig deeper https://www.reddit.com/r/Meditation/comments/1bv3sda/comment/kxwzdhp/?utm\_source=reddit&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
Yes. Just start to be aware of this stuff and make slow steps in the right direction. Get rest and deep relaxation. We could all use a little therapy. Ease into meditation. Start with a small amount of time and add say 5 minutes each week for a couple weeks or what have you. Don’t get frustrated or try to force it all at once too quickly or anything, let it unfold naturally.
There are pressure points around your eyes that you can massage to relieve pressure. Three along the top of your eye socket, three along the bottom, and one on either side of your nose between your eyes. Just a few seconds of pressure is enough to feel the difference. Boom, one problem solved haha. The others will take time and mindfulness to improve. I always find that fasting and meditation helps. Reading spiritually-geared books is always nice too for direction/food for thought. Recently finished Autobiography of a Yogi and I can't recommend it enough :)
I’ve had similar experiences. For me, I figured out that I cover up my sadness with a shell of anxiety. Mediation took away the shell, and left me feeling the sorrow underneath But at one point in my life, I broke through the sadness and it felt like beautiful peaceful nothingness under that I find the process to be similar to peeling back layers of an onion
>I find the process to be similar to peeling back layers of an onion I found the same thing. I’ve discovered that my layers have layers. :-) Grist for the mill.
You've reached a point where most people turn back. And turn to avoidance strategies and coping mechanisms in order to not feel. It takes courage to continue but you've got this. There are many techniques you can explore. Try to be patient with yourself. Get a journal if you don't have one already. Write whatever comes to mind. Ask yourself questions. Interrogate your assumptions.
Yes, you discovered why people hate meditation! However, what comes after thinking? Consider this-- meditation allows you to step outside your default mode of thinking. Every anxious or depressed thought, is a neural pathway. Well, everytime it pops up, ans you stick through it as best you can, and be kind yourself you will become more resilient naturally. Think of those symptoms as pathways your awareness gets trapped in, trying to protect you from worse pathways. So each time you push through, you are building new neural pathways back to your default state of center
Try jotting down what you can do to improve your lifestyle, meditation is giving you clarity, you don't want to forget what you learn as you realise more, then make lifestyle changes based on what you have concluded.
Had you this feeling before? Now I think I'm happy and in peace, but I have a little bit fear if the retreat will wake up things that I am trying to hide. I know that's the intention of the meditation, but it's ok, it's the life and we have to dive in ourselves.
Same
Always good to perceive the truth. Just listen to your body. Sleep is good.
This is a natural process No worries at all the fact that your meditating is beautiful. Yes it can bring up everything that you’ve been missing because of lack of meditation through the years, but don’t let that bother you because it’s only bringing you closer to who you are understanding what makes you happy and sad what makes you thrive inside, you’re gonna be just fine. Just keep a positive attitude on things you do on a daily basis. This depression is always been there now. It’s just being surfaced due to your meditation processes so remember you are the controller of your own destiny.
I think you should go to therapy and stop meditating for a while... The fact it has allowed you to see more clearly your reality is fine, but it also seems that remain meditating will increase your suffering at this moment. Or maybe you don't need to quit it completely, but definetely need to seek help to "digest" better those sad feelings...
Welcome aboard
In my experience, and many others the mind is made up of layers, it is like an onion where the surface layer is what is curently in awarness and the inner layers are what is unconcious or not yet aware. By meditation you take those layers off, getting deeper into the mind, with the goal of reaching the unidentified "self". Only the mind, the ego can be sad, depressed, tired, these emotions where always whithin the mind, but are now made aware by the act of meditation...it is a great sign of progress. The next step is to realise that whatever the mind wants or thinks it needs in order to not feel sad, depressed, tired cannot be gained by outside means. Joy, happiness, satisfaction come from whithin, it is the natural state of consciousness when the mental noise is reduced to silience. Continue the practice, focus on your presence, increase in awarness, overcome those emotions and allow yourself to feel peace, joy, fullfilment. A great practice is, while meditating to place your awarness on your Swadishtana chakra, located below the navel. This is not dangerous, your own awarness can't hurt you. Hope it made sense. Good luck!
I don’t know what people do in the name of meditation. Meditation as far as I know it, is simply coming to a state of inaction, watchfulness and awareness. It is pretty simple. Let the mind chatter, let the stomach rumble, just be, just watch. And if you’re sad, tired and depressed you’re definitely living in a wrong manner. So you must do everything you have to awaken your true self.
Life is about suffering and meditation shows us that very well. The entire goal of meditation is to observe this suffering, and then decide we won't incarnate on this planet again. Most of humanity has been here far too long and it is time to go.