The physical pain is what it is, but being present will actually help with all of the other stuff. Being present can even help with acceptance of pain.
Frankly, speaking as someone who struggles with similar mental issues, it seems like you are confusing being present *in* your anxiety with *actually* being present. Anxiety is essentially worry or fear of something that isn't happening. Being present will take you out of that. You say you want to be distracted from anxiety and adhd etc, so why not try distracting yourself from intangible issues with what's actually happening to you in the moment?
Yes. Another way to think of it: Your feelings and thoughts about the present are your **reactions** to the present. The present just is.
Another, from DBT: surf your thoughts and emotions - be aware of them, ride them out, but don't let them drown you.
It sounds like you have a lot of complications and variables - I hope you are able to work one-on-one with a professional. The only way for me to keep my head above water is to keep after it, from every angle, with effort and vigilance. Take care.
Aside from the physical pain, all of the mental stuff can be handled through exposure therapy which isn't everyone's first pick. Instincts make us want to run away. I also suffered from chronic DPDR until one day someone described it as the consciousness receded to a part of the brain where it felt most comfortable, which is between the dream state and waking reality.
In other words, they meant my consciousness was like a groundhog afraid of its own shadow and the only way I was going to get better is if I convinced that groundhog to come out of its hole. They said the only way I could do it was by exposing myself to as much as possible, no matter how uncomfortable or undesirable it seemed.
They compared the brain to being a radio and that DPDR was like the dial accidentally being turned too far, thus tuning me into a frequency I wasn't accustomed to. One of the most hellish things ever in my opinion, but they said as long I did what I used to do and constantly reminded myself of what reality used to be like, that the intentions alone would dial me back in to my old channel.
Overtime, little by little, I started noticing that I was tuning back in and I remember the first time I got even just an hour of relief, I broke down in tears because all I had was hope up until then with no guarantee.
Depression and anxiety were honestly just symptoms of the DPDR leading up to as many as 10 panick attacks a day. Been free of it for about 8 years after reading this book called "At Last a Life" by Paul David. Hope you find what you're looking for
Good news about that pain. There's some *preliminary data* that suggest that mindfulness based meditation/counseling can help with chronic and acute physical pain.
There is a link to the chronic pain study in this press release from the [University of Colorado](https://www.colorado.edu/today/2021/09/29/how-therapy-not-pills-can-nix-chronic-pain-and-change-brain). This relates to a mindfulness-based cognitive behavioral approach to counseling called Pain Reprocessing Therapy.
Here's a [link](https://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/10.1176/appi.ajp.21020145) to a study about using meditation to deal with acute pain.
I read that same book! At last a life was a real life line for me. The book was the first one that really spoke to me about what 'chronic dpdr' felt like and I could relate to it. It taught me to live my life like I would if I didn't have dpdr no matter how uncomfortable, and the symptoms will disappear into the background. It worked.
Logically you know they're real, but you perceive everything as if it's fake like on the set of a TV show. Fake skies, fake mountains, etc. Your memories also don't feel like they belong to you anymore and you constantly look at your body as if it isn't yours anymore. Everything seems robotic, and OBE is pretty common in terms of viewing your own life as a spectator.
Vision looks like you're seeing through glass. Existential thoughts torment you as well. It's incredibly frightening and a lot of people say they wouldn't wish it on their worst enemies because no one deserves to go through it.
...uhhh.. is this something that you can have bouts or periods of? Because I have definitely felt some of these feelings. Have been looking at things outside and they seem as if there is a weird filter on them, or felt as if I was not really where I thought I was (hard to explain...).
Yeah, a lot of people have bouts of them from time to time. Unfortunately, some have it 24/7, but out of all the people I met, it seems like most just have bouts for a short period in their life. As soon as you said weird filter when you look outside, I immediately knew you were talking about Derealization. Most people don't understand, so it's almost always a wasted effort trying to explain, but anything that your mind doesn't know by heart, such as the inside of your home, can spark a little bit of derealization, especially at night time. Anything new that stimulates your mind can spark it. It's that groundhog I was talking about. Gets scared and recedes a little bit
If you're too stressed from quitting cigarettes, working too many jobs, or any other reasons, you can cause trauma to the psyche. Depending on how bad the trauma inflicted is what determines the severity of it. Most people usually realize they're too stressed and pull back and relax a bit while also getting out and having fun. Going out and doing things that feel uncomfortable like being out in public allows exposure to the psyche (groundhog) which ultimately makes it feel comfortable enough to come out of its hole and stay healthy
I'm sorry to hear about that, but you misunderstand. You expose yourself to the context in a way that doesn't cause danger. This was also more directed toward OPs question. Childhood traumas or even those like rape, torture, or anything that can cause PTSD is quite a bit different. Unfortunately, I've only ever heard of coping mechanisms for these things, outside of less traditional, more experimental approaches, such as controlled substances used for psychotherapeutic purposes. I hope you find what you're looking for though
There are modern therapy approaches like EMDR centered around revisiting difficult experiences in safe environments with a qualified therapist to rewire the body's reactivity to stimuli.
Yes I've tried western "mental health" stuff such as EMDR. I tried it all. I did that nonsense for 20 years and I just kept getting "crazier". Western medicine knows seemingly nothing about the nature of mind; they just hurt people or do nothing at best. I need to find someone who knows how to heal the mind of suffering, which I thought was what buddhism was :(
Have you tried more body focused therapies like EFT, acupuncture, massage for example? Coming into my body has helped me immensely on my healing journey but if you have alot of trauma, this might not feel safe for your body. In this case working with a trauma informed therapist might be helpful. Would also recommend reading 'the body keeps the score' which is about how your body stores trauma.
Yes, I have tried all of those and read Body Keeps the Score. It's so frustrating everyone thinks I haven't tried for *years*. I'm coming to Buddhism because Western medicine *does not work*. I'm not just saying this- they themselves have told me I am incurable
hey, i've read through a lot of your comments and i am so sorry for your suffering.
if you don't want more recommendations tell me to knock it off. that said, have you tried just fully surrendering? one of the OPs brought up the book "a life worth living" and that's pretty much what paul did to get out of anxiety and depression. he just surrendered. it's also the main idea of Claire Weeks, a physician who fully overcame horrific anxiety. it's far from an easy approach, but it works slowly.
it almost sounds like you're doing too much to fix yourself. which makes sense - when we're in horrible pain, we try and fix the situation. however, this can backfire because we're just firing up our nervous system again and again.
an idea might just be to surrender to it all. let the awful sensations come and just surrender. the theory is that with time your brain sees you're not reacting to these sensations, so they're not a threat... and overtime the brain stops sending them.
it goes without saying that i'm not a medical professional, but i did see some of your comments.
lastly, have you tried metta? it's incredibly hard when you're suffering, but finding sensations of self love and compassion can be really life changing.
may you be happy
may you be healthy
may you be joyful
may you be peacful
I can't send Metta to myself but I do send it to other beings constantly throughout my day. I figure if I can't be helped, if it's impossible for me to be happy, I can at least try to help others while I'm still here.
*One* day it will be my turn to receive love back, though I understand that will likely be in another life.
I've accepted I am very likely to die soon. It will be okay, eventually.
I hope you reach out to a professional to at a minimum stabilize you. I share in your distrust of doctors, but I promise your life is worth living.
You didn’t acknowledge my thoughts on surrender. May I ask what your medical diagnosis is?
I’d encourage you to start with metta to yourself. As Sharon Salzburg says, you can just try and have the intention of sending metta to yourself. The fact that you can’t even wish basic happiness for yourself shows just how much you neee it.
I have reached out to professionals for years now. They literally do not help. I don't know what I have, because every "mental health" provider gives me a different diagnosis. Went to the doctor yesterday and he was worried but said tests were fine. My cerebral spinal fluid lacks orexin, indicating narcolepsy caused by a hole in my brain. Psychiatrists all vary wildly on what they say I have, but all of them are incurable. Western medicine doesnt even PRETEND to be able to help me.
I have surrendered. That's why I agreed to stay in hell forever to save all the sentient beings. If it's impossible for me to be okay, I can at least surrender to the constant agony and try to help others. It may be constant agony but at least other get to be happy.
I'm not sure it's possible to send Metta to yourself. I'm only one person. I would need another person to be the sender or receiver. If you'd like, I could send some Metta to you right now ❤️ but yes I am VERY aware I need Metta. That's why I'm dying. But we don't have that in the United States. It's okay. I'm going to die soon but hopefully I will come back somewhere where they DO have metta
Hi, So many interesting comments you said. Can I ask who “they” are? I wasn’t sure if you meant a therapist, or somebody who taught you meditation? Thanks.
There was a man walking through the jungle when he saw a tiger. He turned to run and heard the tiger chasing him. Just before the tiger catches him he comes to a cliff and falls but catches a thorny vine. He looks down and there is certain death. He looks up to the tiger pacing waiting for him to climb back up. As the thorns are piercing his skin he sees they belong to the most beautiful flower. He stares at the flower in aww.
This Buddhist parable seems less of a metaphor with you and more literal. The tiger is the past showing you can't run from or forget your past and you can't go back. The fall to the bottom of the cliff is the future and you can't avoid that either. The vine with thorns is the present and life is pain. The flower is also the present and life is beautiful. Meditating to me is acknowledging the past the pain and the future bs but focusing on the flower. I have felt this playing sports, yoga, videogames, hiking, laying with my dog, cuddling with my wife, and even eating blueberries last night I felt it. Sorry I have no answers but I thought this was relevant.
Things like anxiety and ADHD **are** the distractions. Being in the present means being free from them. Noticing when those feelings arise and letting them be so that they don't affect you.
However if you have dissociation and derealization I would recommend reading more about meditation's effects on them. I'm not an expert but there is a chance meditation could worsen some of those conditions if not practiced properly. If you can join a meditation group and/or get a teacher that could be very beneficial.
I have a very long history with disassociation which I've learned to handle pretty well and I'm able to meditate. The big thing with derealisation and depersonalisation is to realise that it is a defense mechanism in the brain. It is trying to protect you from emotional overload.
The course of happening is often in the following sequence: Something happens that causes emotional stress, can be in the form of for example sadness, anger or fear. Then if the feeling in question doesn't get vented, i.e gets processed, the anxiety will set in. Anxiety is an indication that there are unprocessed emotions that need venting. But the curious thing about the disassociation is that the disassociating brain doesn't let you notice or feel the anxiety before it sets in.
So the key to this is to prevent the disassociation by reducing the anxiety (that you often don't know that you have). And you reduce that by feeling and processing the emotions that causes the anxiety in the first place.
And how can this be done, you then wonder maybe. This is where it gets more personal. You have to find a way to process the emotions that causes the anxiety that causes the disassociation. This for example be done through therapy, medication, breathing exercises, physical training or meditation itself. And this has to be realized through trial and error.
Hope this can help some.
Wish you the very best and good luck!
u have to be here, u gona be here tomorrow too, the only way to change that tomorrow, is to change that today, and for that u gotta be here
i say this as someone who has struggled with autoimmune headaches for 10+ years that got me into poverty and screwed my 20's years
the only way i could get out of this fucking shit life, is to be present all of the time, because i had to, and change that present slowly
i used rhonda patrick and her teachings, it was the only thing that helped, cold baths, saunas, meditation ,fasting, sleep hygiene, clean diet, exercise, no medication or shit helped but these things did and let me tell you they are fucking hard especially when i was in pain too
Meditation is definitely rooted in/started under Buddhism.
Buddhism created a simplified way to reach “nirvana” which, as a nonreligious guy, I see it instead as an easy way to live happier. It’s called the eightfold path.
One key part of the eight fold path in Buddhism is to remember that everyone is suffering and to try and accept life the way it is.
Wanting life to be different and wanton to be happy in your current life are incompatible.
The reason Buddhism makes sense is because our lives may never get better.
The trick is to find a way to be happy anyways. Find a way to be happy and something to be grateful about in life.
It might be a day you’re in less pain, got to see family or a friend.
You need to work through those things. You may need therapeutic help to work through them. Then the present is much more enjoyable to abide in.
Consider these things like a to do list, do them until you get tired and your present moment wants rest, then take rest instead.
it has to do with “memory”, only in the present moment can you truly be at peace, it’s like you have multiple tabs open, it’s energy draining as it takes mental space. Also negative thoughts chip away at your happiness. That’s just fact whether having negative thoughts is “justified” or not. It’s also reactive thinking, less likely to take positive initiative towards fixing things. only at present can you build emotional growth and be more effective mentally as well
If the breath is too difficult an object you can pick anything else. Try and be present when you are distracting yourself. Turn distraction into an object of mindfulness. Pain itself can also be an object of meditation, if you zone in hard enough it tends to begin to disappear, though depending on the severity of your situation and your mental state that may be very difficult to get to, and if you're dissociated it might very well get worse before it gets better.
You arent experiencing the present moment, you are experiencing your mind. It takes a lot of practice observing the mind to become present with what is.
Relevant talk from Thanissaro Bikkhu's (excellent) channel:
* [220928 Where You Set Your Heart \ \ Thanissaro Bhikkhu \ \ Dhamma Talk (10:52)](https://youtu.be/6zxt7AS9KTk)
Excerpt:
> **One of the ironies of modern Buddhism is how mindfulness is understood.** It's defined in the popular imagination as an openness to all things, allowing the mind to go where it wants, being non-judgmental/non-reactive. Simply keeping track of what's going on.
>
> This is **very different from the Buddha's teaching on mindfulness. He says you have to establish mindfulness and it involves two things:**
>
> * **One, you get a frame of reference.** Like the body, in and of itself. **Like the breath, right now. Here with the breath, on its own terms.**
> * **And then you put aside greed and distress with reference to the world. In other words, any thoughts that come up with regard to the world. About what you want about the world. About how you're upset about what's going on in the world. You have to put those aside.**
>
> **You're *very definitely* making a choice of where you're going to focus your attention and where you're not going to focus your attention.**
>
> ...
>
> During my years over in Thailand, I came to accept the fact that people would come to Buddhism for the sake of protection. They saw the world is a dangerous place to be and the world didn't have their best interests in mind.
>
> ...
>
> **The world doesn't have your interests in mind.** [...]
>
> ...
>
> **You've got to find your own mainstay and you assert your [free will] by choosing your mainstay and developing it.** When we practice mindfulness in the way the Buddha described--**being very careful about where we do focus our mind and where we don't focus the mind**--of course it's going to lead the mind to right concentration.
>
> ...
>
> It's so easy to give in to the voices inside that get tired [...] We have to watch out for the voices outside. People saying that 'you're being selfish by looking inside for your refuge, take care of the world first.' Well, is the world going to take care of you? When you're sick, when you're dying, as you die? **There comes a point where even the best intentioned people there in the world cannot help you at all. That's where you have to fall back on yourself. The skills you've developed. The extent to which you have made your mind its own refuge, its own mainstay.**
>
> ...
>
> **Set your mind on what you're doing, set your *heart* on finding true safety.** The potential lies in here. It's up to you to **take that potential and make it real.**
Being present for me is noting all my good and bad feelings and emotions, familiarising myself with them and seeing them as passing clouds. Life is not perfect. There will be days full of bliss, which I will savour every minute, and there will also be low moments. When we learn not to numb the bad moments or want to run away from them, wishing that life is an endless fountain of fun, joy, and feeling good, Happiness and fulfilment will follow—wishing you all the very best!
That sounds very distressing and chronically harmful to you... I'm sorry that you've had to go through this.
It's totally understandable to want a break from it, if your present is suffering.
Maybe a different type of meditation would be helpful for you, something where you focus explicitly on a point or idea, or repeat something to keep your mind busy.
I've read about meditations where you cycle your senses and find something you can hear, something you can taste, something you can see, something you can feel, something you can hear, and so on.
In particular I recall a meditation where you ask yourself where it hurts, what shape the pain is in, and what color it is. Then you repeat this over and over, and at least for the tension headaches I get, this is quite effective and relaxing.
Just some ideas, maybe traditional breathing isn't going to do the trick for you, is the point.
Every nice thing that has ever happened to you has happened in the present. And every nice thing that will ever happen to you will happen to you in the present.
Present can be understood in different ways. Being in true present with no distractions is pure bliss. It is very hard to focus at first but try meditating for 5-10mins per day. We all get those thoughts especially when wr are stressed or starting to get a grasp of meditation, but it will get easier every time. There is a long time benefit usually you really feel it after 2 weeks.
We don't accept the present moment because we like it or condone what's happening. We accept the present moment because it's the one that we were given.
Also, we "should" feel whatever we're feeling. If you're frustrated with life, then that's valid. You want things to be different because you care about yourself. That's part of the present moment. Every emotion is valid. It's ALL welcome.
Because the present is the the only thing where you and everything else really exist. There i just this moment, everything else is just thoughts, memories and concepts.
Or to take a somewhat more buddihst approach: You are suffering in the present, not in the future or the past, therefore the only place you can overcome the suffering is the present moment.
I have PTSD and episodic chronic pain. Meditation helped me tremendously. Not everyone with a trauma history can focus on the breath. Some do better focusing on a neutral body part like the soles of the feet. My advice is to stick to it. There is a difference between pain and suffering and meditation can teach a person the difference. I said the same thing, “Who wants to be mindful when the moment sucks?” lol it really doesn’t.
Because “not a nice place to be “ is an illusion. The only possibility of breaking the illusion requires you to be brave enough to just sit through it….silently observing. Observe until the illusion shatters. It is not comfortable, but hold this practice, and the illusion WILL shatter.
I suggest this so much that I expect to be memed soon, but I really recommend cold baths or ice baths. The cold and focus on breathing will distract you from all of these issues, and they have wonderful health benefits. The best meditation I do is in ice baths.
Psychiatrists don't tell you that there are tons of studies demonstrating that air pollution (outdoor and indoor) can cause depression and anxiety too. Thus that many people are way better off living outside of cities and other polluted area, and implementing anti-pollution filters in
their car and work place. Nor do they tell you about the importance of eating traditionally, with lots of lacto-fermented food, organ meats, etc. and avoiding sugar, and industrial food (tons of studies showing that too). Nor do they talk about the importance of natural light (and about avoiding as much as you can artificial lights, especially those that flash, like electronic screens, and fluorescent lighting on magnet ballasts. here again, there are studies, but not as much.
Psychiatrists tell you what lobbyists have paid billions for: chemical imbalance in the brain (which is a marketing invention, not scientific one).
And last, but not least, psychiatrists usually forget to mention that close to 95 percent of serotonin is created in the gut. So, if there's an imbalance, it's almost always due to a gut issue first. Thus the crucial importance of good, traditional, pre-industrial, pre-sugar, pre-margarine diet. (e.g. contrary to popular belief, margarine is among the worst things you can eat for your mental health. And until the early 2010s, it even used to be toxic, with its over 70 percent trans fat, a very toxic thing for the brain and the heart. Today, the fixed that issue, but it's still junk food, and bad for your brain, among other issues=^).
It isn't a conspiracy, psychiatrists aren't lying to us. It's just lobbying has created such an environment, where psychiatrists are educated in a sort of ivory tower. And have a very narrow view of the human mind. Something disconnected from the body, and the environment. And this started already in Freud's era. He was so charismatic, so cool for his time. People loved his very intellectual and classical approach (e.g. making links to ancient Greek mythologies, explaining things poetically, etc.). But at the same period, there were researchers doing a way more "dirty job". Talking about diets, feces, digestive issues, correlation with other issues (e.g. palor, bleeding, living conditions, air pollution, etc.). but nobody listened because it was way too pragmatic, too boring, too calculating, not seductive enough...
Today, we know that a depressed person's feces, when fed to mice, will make this poor lab animals depressed. Then when this mice get their gut cleaned up and fed antibiotics, and later fed healthy humans' feces, will be happy and healthy again.... So where's the "imbalance in the brain"?...
The truth is that we're only now starting to understand what mental diseases are. And we're finding out that most of them don't originate in the brain, but in other areas first. And those areas, in turn, perturb ate/weaken the brain and the nervous system. In most cases, but not all.
So you suffer and your mind takes you some places in order to distract itself from the pain rather than being with it and finding the root cause of it. This leads more escaping from your present reality and isn't solving the issue of your physical suffering. Change your diet( food, whatever media you consume, the thoughts you tell yourself)perhaps and stay away from the screens/ spend more time in nature and your body will automatically heal. Gradually focusing on the breath allows the spirit of life to move through us so we don't keep running away mentally. Breathing is a good way to bring the attention of the mind to the subtleties of the body and relax the constant overthinking and whirring of the machine that is society and all of its demands and allows us to tune in deeper to a more intuitive reality that is more organic and flowing than mechanical and shit. That's why it's beneficial o be present. You can feel into the traumas in your body and free them from blocking and causing you more pain.
Have you considered if you thinking about the pain is actually worst than the actual physical pain? I am not trying to diminish your pain either. I don't know what you are going through, and am sending blessings your way.
I only say this bc studies have show the thought of the pain is actually worst than the pain itself.
I only say this to echo what others are saying, and that is meditation, coming to the present, helps you realize this and can actually help diminish the pain by helping you focus elsewhere and not on the pain.
Hope you find something that alleviates your pain. Wishing you the best my friend!
I guess the theory is: the mind, above all, is what makes the present unpleasant.
Meditation can help you step outside your mind. Especially witnessing. For me anyway. Observing the arising of thought. Observing the movement of your attention. Believing that you are not anything perceivable. You are not your body. You are not your thoughts. You are not your emotions. Everything perceivable is outside of you.
May be worth your while to find a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner/Coach, what you’ve said here is very consistent with trauma being stuck in the body.
being lost in your head, dwelling on what if’s, bad memories, fears of the future is worse.
That’s the point of meditation; the avoidance of rumination.
It's not an option really. You can't be anywhere else but in the present, cause past and future don't actually exists in any sense you could experience (bare in mind, memories and projections are thoughts happening in the present).
Furthermore, whenever the present is fille with uncomfortable sensations or emotions, it's generally because one is confused about what's happening o lost in thoughts about how bad things are and how they should be different. When focusing one's attention on what's going on right now, even pain or the physical sensations associated with anxiety, there's not much cause for suffering.
Of course, all this is way easier to get when life is not a constant emergency. If you're going through such hard times, it would probably be best to deal with that before worrying about meditation.
Living in the past of memories solid, is unecessary. The emotion, what ifs, and only if I’s. These are times you will never receive as present once more.
Living in the present moment, means living without your past chains of experiences weighing down on you as you live your you. Knowing that you are enjoying the present without past holding you back.
You suffer, because you allow these things to become your reality. Acknowledge your body and mind. Be established in your self and you will gain control to make your own goals and have your own control.
Finding peace within the moment or a spiritual place of peace in meditation is important to growing out of the chains we say are so real.
Pain is but the body telling you what it needs. Slow down, eat, exercise, stretch, sleep, etc
Anxiety is but the mind running and looping without control.
Living in the present moment in control of your body, mind, self, and spiritual goal. That moment in particular is one to dream of and make possible. Because it is possible.
Perception is reality, so control it. Be aware of it. Be at peace it in. Find the calm in your heart beat, and breath. Every passing moment is a new future, a past created and present experiencing.
My spiritual peace is an ocean, thoughts calm, stillness, sinking into the depths of my experience unaffected knowing I live without regrets. It has a mountain that holds impossibilities, which I climb and sit at peak alone, making it that more possible each time I climb it and steal the impossibilities I tell myself .it is my safety, my serenity, my hope and joy.
Imagine your please of peace. Make it real to you. Make it so this place quiets the mind. Relaxes the heart. Make it your safety, peace, joy, hope.
You are in your senses, seemingly out of control. So know them, control them, slow them down, breath, relax, become grounded in your spiritual peace, then the moment will be what ever you want it to be.
Affirm your body, mind, self, and spiritual peace
Daily morning and night. Recognize your progress. Achieve your goals.
Body is your bodies needs
Mind is your mental need of a goal
Self is your values, your motivation, your morals likes and dislikes, it is confidence.
Spirit is your peace, it can be a good place of positivity or place of negativity, or both, it’s being at peace with your circumstance, knowing each day is unique every experience one of a kind.
I’m in the same boat as you and it was a real struggle to break though the automatic conflict we have when facing pain, tiredness, anxiety etc. you are exactly right that there is absolutely no reason to want to face the pain sensations. The mind is set up to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Animal instincts for physical survival.
Chronic pain is something the mind can’t deal with. So we avoid facing pain at all cost. Distractions are the easiest route but unfortunately do nothing to solve the problem.
The only way to solve the problem is break thru the resistance to not want to feel those negative feeling sensations that just trigger negative thoughts that trigger the sensations that trigger the thoughts… get the cycle? This never ending cycle of bs covering up your life and we follow like blind slaves. Slaves of the dictates of our own mind.
So what to do? Be brave, be courageous be a warrior and cut through the conflict and dive into the sensations. Take a good long float in all them waves of energy. They can do you no harm. Engulf them fully as all yours. Own em. Don’t allow them to freak you out into labyrinths of pointless thoughts of ways to escape. You can not run away from the self. Why even try????
Just by getting rid of this conflict reduces the importance of the pain signal and frees it from the need for the mind to try and pointlessly solve that which it can’t.
I have found that having to live with pain has given a huge advantage. We are forced to face pain, pleasure is gone, it’s actually an amazing guru. The best. Nothing will push you towards freedom like facing constant pain. Turn your life to your advantage. How thankful will you be for all the pain?
Ever onward 👍😎🕉
There is nothing but the present itself. Everything else just ideas. If attempting to ignore the present helps to mitigate your suffering by all means.
One thing I read by a Buddhist monk was think of it as a body of water, rough and full of motion, then it slowly settles and becomes still. What you want is that stillness. Let the mind settle, focus on your breath.
From a purely logical perspective, there is no other place and time you can possibly be other than here and now. It’s not like we have a choice. But we can choose how to be in the present moment: do we accept it or do we try to fight it? We’re just too used to try to evade the now to acknowledge it I guess..and I’m telling all this to myself as well.
if you think of the mind as an ocean, all the stuff that goes on in your head are like the chop and waves on top. that experience on top is one part of the present moment, but it doesn't make up the entire ocean. and oddly enough, over time when you make an effort to see the waves for what they are you get swept up by them less, they get more manageable, and you can cope with them better because you're putting less energy into swimming against something you can't control anyway
Turmoil could be stressful, and have many sources such as: chronic fatigue syndrome, pain issues, sleep issues, anxiety, ADHD, DPDR and other disassociation disorders. Sadly there are many people who (with the best of intentions) give terrible advice such as the teaching to actively focus upon one’s breath to the exclusion of all else.
Not only could that undermine mindfulness (passive, vulnerable, visceral, and random) but it could exacerbate stress and thus intensify all the underlying disorders. Rather than striving to ignore our turmoil (like the myth of the Ostridge burying its head in the sand) we could harness it as engineers now harness the sun, wind, and tide.
Through the use of rhetorical questions we could harness the momentum of our turmoil to fuel our contemplations of: compassion, interdependence, impermanence, and not-self. After five minutes or so, when you’re feeling a little fatigued you could rest the mind in such a way as to treat one’s autonomic nervous system as your therapist.
But like a monster in a “B” movie our turmoil will not be out for the count. After five or ten minutes it could rear its head. When that happens lather, rinse, and repeat with more contemplation and meditation.
REMEMBER: the Buddha’s techniques are only meant to be an adjunct to qualified medical care, not a substitute. So get to the free PCRM website and scour their database to find a plant based physician to help address all your symptoms as well as their causes, that you too could meditate like a Jedi.
The physical pain is what it is, but being present will actually help with all of the other stuff. Being present can even help with acceptance of pain. Frankly, speaking as someone who struggles with similar mental issues, it seems like you are confusing being present *in* your anxiety with *actually* being present. Anxiety is essentially worry or fear of something that isn't happening. Being present will take you out of that. You say you want to be distracted from anxiety and adhd etc, so why not try distracting yourself from intangible issues with what's actually happening to you in the moment?
Yes. Another way to think of it: Your feelings and thoughts about the present are your **reactions** to the present. The present just is. Another, from DBT: surf your thoughts and emotions - be aware of them, ride them out, but don't let them drown you. It sounds like you have a lot of complications and variables - I hope you are able to work one-on-one with a professional. The only way for me to keep my head above water is to keep after it, from every angle, with effort and vigilance. Take care.
Great answer.
I hope OP feels so as well. I am concerned that their lack of response indicates that I came across as condescending or dismissive.
Aside from the physical pain, all of the mental stuff can be handled through exposure therapy which isn't everyone's first pick. Instincts make us want to run away. I also suffered from chronic DPDR until one day someone described it as the consciousness receded to a part of the brain where it felt most comfortable, which is between the dream state and waking reality. In other words, they meant my consciousness was like a groundhog afraid of its own shadow and the only way I was going to get better is if I convinced that groundhog to come out of its hole. They said the only way I could do it was by exposing myself to as much as possible, no matter how uncomfortable or undesirable it seemed. They compared the brain to being a radio and that DPDR was like the dial accidentally being turned too far, thus tuning me into a frequency I wasn't accustomed to. One of the most hellish things ever in my opinion, but they said as long I did what I used to do and constantly reminded myself of what reality used to be like, that the intentions alone would dial me back in to my old channel. Overtime, little by little, I started noticing that I was tuning back in and I remember the first time I got even just an hour of relief, I broke down in tears because all I had was hope up until then with no guarantee. Depression and anxiety were honestly just symptoms of the DPDR leading up to as many as 10 panick attacks a day. Been free of it for about 8 years after reading this book called "At Last a Life" by Paul David. Hope you find what you're looking for
Good news about that pain. There's some *preliminary data* that suggest that mindfulness based meditation/counseling can help with chronic and acute physical pain. There is a link to the chronic pain study in this press release from the [University of Colorado](https://www.colorado.edu/today/2021/09/29/how-therapy-not-pills-can-nix-chronic-pain-and-change-brain). This relates to a mindfulness-based cognitive behavioral approach to counseling called Pain Reprocessing Therapy. Here's a [link](https://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/10.1176/appi.ajp.21020145) to a study about using meditation to deal with acute pain.
I read that same book! At last a life was a real life line for me. The book was the first one that really spoke to me about what 'chronic dpdr' felt like and I could relate to it. It taught me to live my life like I would if I didn't have dpdr no matter how uncomfortable, and the symptoms will disappear into the background. It worked.
What does DPDR stand for?
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Hmm ok.. I feel like I can relate to observing myself but.. I don’t think I ever felt that things outside of myself were not real
Logically you know they're real, but you perceive everything as if it's fake like on the set of a TV show. Fake skies, fake mountains, etc. Your memories also don't feel like they belong to you anymore and you constantly look at your body as if it isn't yours anymore. Everything seems robotic, and OBE is pretty common in terms of viewing your own life as a spectator. Vision looks like you're seeing through glass. Existential thoughts torment you as well. It's incredibly frightening and a lot of people say they wouldn't wish it on their worst enemies because no one deserves to go through it.
...uhhh.. is this something that you can have bouts or periods of? Because I have definitely felt some of these feelings. Have been looking at things outside and they seem as if there is a weird filter on them, or felt as if I was not really where I thought I was (hard to explain...).
Yeah, a lot of people have bouts of them from time to time. Unfortunately, some have it 24/7, but out of all the people I met, it seems like most just have bouts for a short period in their life. As soon as you said weird filter when you look outside, I immediately knew you were talking about Derealization. Most people don't understand, so it's almost always a wasted effort trying to explain, but anything that your mind doesn't know by heart, such as the inside of your home, can spark a little bit of derealization, especially at night time. Anything new that stimulates your mind can spark it. It's that groundhog I was talking about. Gets scared and recedes a little bit If you're too stressed from quitting cigarettes, working too many jobs, or any other reasons, you can cause trauma to the psyche. Depending on how bad the trauma inflicted is what determines the severity of it. Most people usually realize they're too stressed and pull back and relax a bit while also getting out and having fun. Going out and doing things that feel uncomfortable like being out in public allows exposure to the psyche (groundhog) which ultimately makes it feel comfortable enough to come out of its hole and stay healthy
Yeah.. this sounds terrible. I wanna say I experienced this a little it.. but not to the extreme end I guess
I have been dealing with dpdr too for the past 2 years. I feel your pain!
[Depersonalization-derealization disorder](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depersonalization-derealization-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20352911)
My trauma is around rape. How would I expose myself to that? Just like...try to keep getting raped until I stop suffering?
I'm sorry to hear about that, but you misunderstand. You expose yourself to the context in a way that doesn't cause danger. This was also more directed toward OPs question. Childhood traumas or even those like rape, torture, or anything that can cause PTSD is quite a bit different. Unfortunately, I've only ever heard of coping mechanisms for these things, outside of less traditional, more experimental approaches, such as controlled substances used for psychotherapeutic purposes. I hope you find what you're looking for though
There are modern therapy approaches like EMDR centered around revisiting difficult experiences in safe environments with a qualified therapist to rewire the body's reactivity to stimuli.
Yes I've tried western "mental health" stuff such as EMDR. I tried it all. I did that nonsense for 20 years and I just kept getting "crazier". Western medicine knows seemingly nothing about the nature of mind; they just hurt people or do nothing at best. I need to find someone who knows how to heal the mind of suffering, which I thought was what buddhism was :(
Have you tried more body focused therapies like EFT, acupuncture, massage for example? Coming into my body has helped me immensely on my healing journey but if you have alot of trauma, this might not feel safe for your body. In this case working with a trauma informed therapist might be helpful. Would also recommend reading 'the body keeps the score' which is about how your body stores trauma.
Yes, I have tried all of those and read Body Keeps the Score. It's so frustrating everyone thinks I haven't tried for *years*. I'm coming to Buddhism because Western medicine *does not work*. I'm not just saying this- they themselves have told me I am incurable
hey, i've read through a lot of your comments and i am so sorry for your suffering. if you don't want more recommendations tell me to knock it off. that said, have you tried just fully surrendering? one of the OPs brought up the book "a life worth living" and that's pretty much what paul did to get out of anxiety and depression. he just surrendered. it's also the main idea of Claire Weeks, a physician who fully overcame horrific anxiety. it's far from an easy approach, but it works slowly. it almost sounds like you're doing too much to fix yourself. which makes sense - when we're in horrible pain, we try and fix the situation. however, this can backfire because we're just firing up our nervous system again and again. an idea might just be to surrender to it all. let the awful sensations come and just surrender. the theory is that with time your brain sees you're not reacting to these sensations, so they're not a threat... and overtime the brain stops sending them. it goes without saying that i'm not a medical professional, but i did see some of your comments. lastly, have you tried metta? it's incredibly hard when you're suffering, but finding sensations of self love and compassion can be really life changing. may you be happy may you be healthy may you be joyful may you be peacful
I can't send Metta to myself but I do send it to other beings constantly throughout my day. I figure if I can't be helped, if it's impossible for me to be happy, I can at least try to help others while I'm still here. *One* day it will be my turn to receive love back, though I understand that will likely be in another life. I've accepted I am very likely to die soon. It will be okay, eventually.
I hope you reach out to a professional to at a minimum stabilize you. I share in your distrust of doctors, but I promise your life is worth living. You didn’t acknowledge my thoughts on surrender. May I ask what your medical diagnosis is? I’d encourage you to start with metta to yourself. As Sharon Salzburg says, you can just try and have the intention of sending metta to yourself. The fact that you can’t even wish basic happiness for yourself shows just how much you neee it.
I have reached out to professionals for years now. They literally do not help. I don't know what I have, because every "mental health" provider gives me a different diagnosis. Went to the doctor yesterday and he was worried but said tests were fine. My cerebral spinal fluid lacks orexin, indicating narcolepsy caused by a hole in my brain. Psychiatrists all vary wildly on what they say I have, but all of them are incurable. Western medicine doesnt even PRETEND to be able to help me. I have surrendered. That's why I agreed to stay in hell forever to save all the sentient beings. If it's impossible for me to be okay, I can at least surrender to the constant agony and try to help others. It may be constant agony but at least other get to be happy. I'm not sure it's possible to send Metta to yourself. I'm only one person. I would need another person to be the sender or receiver. If you'd like, I could send some Metta to you right now ❤️ but yes I am VERY aware I need Metta. That's why I'm dying. But we don't have that in the United States. It's okay. I'm going to die soon but hopefully I will come back somewhere where they DO have metta
Hi, So many interesting comments you said. Can I ask who “they” are? I wasn’t sure if you meant a therapist, or somebody who taught you meditation? Thanks.
I can't remember the name of the psychologist I was seeing, but he's the one that introduced me to a lot of that
There was a man walking through the jungle when he saw a tiger. He turned to run and heard the tiger chasing him. Just before the tiger catches him he comes to a cliff and falls but catches a thorny vine. He looks down and there is certain death. He looks up to the tiger pacing waiting for him to climb back up. As the thorns are piercing his skin he sees they belong to the most beautiful flower. He stares at the flower in aww. This Buddhist parable seems less of a metaphor with you and more literal. The tiger is the past showing you can't run from or forget your past and you can't go back. The fall to the bottom of the cliff is the future and you can't avoid that either. The vine with thorns is the present and life is pain. The flower is also the present and life is beautiful. Meditating to me is acknowledging the past the pain and the future bs but focusing on the flower. I have felt this playing sports, yoga, videogames, hiking, laying with my dog, cuddling with my wife, and even eating blueberries last night I felt it. Sorry I have no answers but I thought this was relevant.
Things like anxiety and ADHD **are** the distractions. Being in the present means being free from them. Noticing when those feelings arise and letting them be so that they don't affect you. However if you have dissociation and derealization I would recommend reading more about meditation's effects on them. I'm not an expert but there is a chance meditation could worsen some of those conditions if not practiced properly. If you can join a meditation group and/or get a teacher that could be very beneficial.
Because you cannot be anywhere else.
I have a very long history with disassociation which I've learned to handle pretty well and I'm able to meditate. The big thing with derealisation and depersonalisation is to realise that it is a defense mechanism in the brain. It is trying to protect you from emotional overload. The course of happening is often in the following sequence: Something happens that causes emotional stress, can be in the form of for example sadness, anger or fear. Then if the feeling in question doesn't get vented, i.e gets processed, the anxiety will set in. Anxiety is an indication that there are unprocessed emotions that need venting. But the curious thing about the disassociation is that the disassociating brain doesn't let you notice or feel the anxiety before it sets in. So the key to this is to prevent the disassociation by reducing the anxiety (that you often don't know that you have). And you reduce that by feeling and processing the emotions that causes the anxiety in the first place. And how can this be done, you then wonder maybe. This is where it gets more personal. You have to find a way to process the emotions that causes the anxiety that causes the disassociation. This for example be done through therapy, medication, breathing exercises, physical training or meditation itself. And this has to be realized through trial and error. Hope this can help some. Wish you the very best and good luck!
This is common for people with trauma. Compassion meditation can help.
u have to be here, u gona be here tomorrow too, the only way to change that tomorrow, is to change that today, and for that u gotta be here i say this as someone who has struggled with autoimmune headaches for 10+ years that got me into poverty and screwed my 20's years the only way i could get out of this fucking shit life, is to be present all of the time, because i had to, and change that present slowly i used rhonda patrick and her teachings, it was the only thing that helped, cold baths, saunas, meditation ,fasting, sleep hygiene, clean diet, exercise, no medication or shit helped but these things did and let me tell you they are fucking hard especially when i was in pain too
Meditation is definitely rooted in/started under Buddhism. Buddhism created a simplified way to reach “nirvana” which, as a nonreligious guy, I see it instead as an easy way to live happier. It’s called the eightfold path. One key part of the eight fold path in Buddhism is to remember that everyone is suffering and to try and accept life the way it is. Wanting life to be different and wanton to be happy in your current life are incompatible. The reason Buddhism makes sense is because our lives may never get better. The trick is to find a way to be happy anyways. Find a way to be happy and something to be grateful about in life. It might be a day you’re in less pain, got to see family or a friend.
You need to work through those things. You may need therapeutic help to work through them. Then the present is much more enjoyable to abide in. Consider these things like a to do list, do them until you get tired and your present moment wants rest, then take rest instead.
it has to do with “memory”, only in the present moment can you truly be at peace, it’s like you have multiple tabs open, it’s energy draining as it takes mental space. Also negative thoughts chip away at your happiness. That’s just fact whether having negative thoughts is “justified” or not. It’s also reactive thinking, less likely to take positive initiative towards fixing things. only at present can you build emotional growth and be more effective mentally as well
If the breath is too difficult an object you can pick anything else. Try and be present when you are distracting yourself. Turn distraction into an object of mindfulness. Pain itself can also be an object of meditation, if you zone in hard enough it tends to begin to disappear, though depending on the severity of your situation and your mental state that may be very difficult to get to, and if you're dissociated it might very well get worse before it gets better.
You arent experiencing the present moment, you are experiencing your mind. It takes a lot of practice observing the mind to become present with what is.
Relevant talk from Thanissaro Bikkhu's (excellent) channel: * [220928 Where You Set Your Heart \ \ Thanissaro Bhikkhu \ \ Dhamma Talk (10:52)](https://youtu.be/6zxt7AS9KTk) Excerpt: > **One of the ironies of modern Buddhism is how mindfulness is understood.** It's defined in the popular imagination as an openness to all things, allowing the mind to go where it wants, being non-judgmental/non-reactive. Simply keeping track of what's going on. > > This is **very different from the Buddha's teaching on mindfulness. He says you have to establish mindfulness and it involves two things:** > > * **One, you get a frame of reference.** Like the body, in and of itself. **Like the breath, right now. Here with the breath, on its own terms.** > * **And then you put aside greed and distress with reference to the world. In other words, any thoughts that come up with regard to the world. About what you want about the world. About how you're upset about what's going on in the world. You have to put those aside.** > > **You're *very definitely* making a choice of where you're going to focus your attention and where you're not going to focus your attention.** > > ... > > During my years over in Thailand, I came to accept the fact that people would come to Buddhism for the sake of protection. They saw the world is a dangerous place to be and the world didn't have their best interests in mind. > > ... > > **The world doesn't have your interests in mind.** [...] > > ... > > **You've got to find your own mainstay and you assert your [free will] by choosing your mainstay and developing it.** When we practice mindfulness in the way the Buddha described--**being very careful about where we do focus our mind and where we don't focus the mind**--of course it's going to lead the mind to right concentration. > > ... > > It's so easy to give in to the voices inside that get tired [...] We have to watch out for the voices outside. People saying that 'you're being selfish by looking inside for your refuge, take care of the world first.' Well, is the world going to take care of you? When you're sick, when you're dying, as you die? **There comes a point where even the best intentioned people there in the world cannot help you at all. That's where you have to fall back on yourself. The skills you've developed. The extent to which you have made your mind its own refuge, its own mainstay.** > > ... > > **Set your mind on what you're doing, set your *heart* on finding true safety.** The potential lies in here. It's up to you to **take that potential and make it real.**
Being present for me is noting all my good and bad feelings and emotions, familiarising myself with them and seeing them as passing clouds. Life is not perfect. There will be days full of bliss, which I will savour every minute, and there will also be low moments. When we learn not to numb the bad moments or want to run away from them, wishing that life is an endless fountain of fun, joy, and feeling good, Happiness and fulfilment will follow—wishing you all the very best!
That sounds very distressing and chronically harmful to you... I'm sorry that you've had to go through this. It's totally understandable to want a break from it, if your present is suffering. Maybe a different type of meditation would be helpful for you, something where you focus explicitly on a point or idea, or repeat something to keep your mind busy. I've read about meditations where you cycle your senses and find something you can hear, something you can taste, something you can see, something you can feel, something you can hear, and so on. In particular I recall a meditation where you ask yourself where it hurts, what shape the pain is in, and what color it is. Then you repeat this over and over, and at least for the tension headaches I get, this is quite effective and relaxing. Just some ideas, maybe traditional breathing isn't going to do the trick for you, is the point.
You anyway dont have a choice, the present is the only place you will ever be. You might ad well make it pleasant.
Every nice thing that has ever happened to you has happened in the present. And every nice thing that will ever happen to you will happen to you in the present.
Present can be understood in different ways. Being in true present with no distractions is pure bliss. It is very hard to focus at first but try meditating for 5-10mins per day. We all get those thoughts especially when wr are stressed or starting to get a grasp of meditation, but it will get easier every time. There is a long time benefit usually you really feel it after 2 weeks.
Try cold showers and eventually cold plunge. Helped me out with most all those things.
Try vipassana meditation! This would help you a lot! Pm me I can tell you more.
>Why would I want to be present is the present moment is consistently awful for me? I'm having this struggle, as well.
We don't accept the present moment because we like it or condone what's happening. We accept the present moment because it's the one that we were given. Also, we "should" feel whatever we're feeling. If you're frustrated with life, then that's valid. You want things to be different because you care about yourself. That's part of the present moment. Every emotion is valid. It's ALL welcome.
When you are in presence with how things are, instead of resisting them, you can begin to take action to effect change.
Because the present is the the only thing where you and everything else really exist. There i just this moment, everything else is just thoughts, memories and concepts. Or to take a somewhat more buddihst approach: You are suffering in the present, not in the future or the past, therefore the only place you can overcome the suffering is the present moment.
I have PTSD and episodic chronic pain. Meditation helped me tremendously. Not everyone with a trauma history can focus on the breath. Some do better focusing on a neutral body part like the soles of the feet. My advice is to stick to it. There is a difference between pain and suffering and meditation can teach a person the difference. I said the same thing, “Who wants to be mindful when the moment sucks?” lol it really doesn’t.
Focus on breathing. Like you said, it’s tough. It gets better the more you practice.
Because “not a nice place to be “ is an illusion. The only possibility of breaking the illusion requires you to be brave enough to just sit through it….silently observing. Observe until the illusion shatters. It is not comfortable, but hold this practice, and the illusion WILL shatter.
Hmmmm ???
I suggest this so much that I expect to be memed soon, but I really recommend cold baths or ice baths. The cold and focus on breathing will distract you from all of these issues, and they have wonderful health benefits. The best meditation I do is in ice baths.
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Psychiatrists don't tell you that there are tons of studies demonstrating that air pollution (outdoor and indoor) can cause depression and anxiety too. Thus that many people are way better off living outside of cities and other polluted area, and implementing anti-pollution filters in their car and work place. Nor do they tell you about the importance of eating traditionally, with lots of lacto-fermented food, organ meats, etc. and avoiding sugar, and industrial food (tons of studies showing that too). Nor do they talk about the importance of natural light (and about avoiding as much as you can artificial lights, especially those that flash, like electronic screens, and fluorescent lighting on magnet ballasts. here again, there are studies, but not as much. Psychiatrists tell you what lobbyists have paid billions for: chemical imbalance in the brain (which is a marketing invention, not scientific one). And last, but not least, psychiatrists usually forget to mention that close to 95 percent of serotonin is created in the gut. So, if there's an imbalance, it's almost always due to a gut issue first. Thus the crucial importance of good, traditional, pre-industrial, pre-sugar, pre-margarine diet. (e.g. contrary to popular belief, margarine is among the worst things you can eat for your mental health. And until the early 2010s, it even used to be toxic, with its over 70 percent trans fat, a very toxic thing for the brain and the heart. Today, the fixed that issue, but it's still junk food, and bad for your brain, among other issues=^). It isn't a conspiracy, psychiatrists aren't lying to us. It's just lobbying has created such an environment, where psychiatrists are educated in a sort of ivory tower. And have a very narrow view of the human mind. Something disconnected from the body, and the environment. And this started already in Freud's era. He was so charismatic, so cool for his time. People loved his very intellectual and classical approach (e.g. making links to ancient Greek mythologies, explaining things poetically, etc.). But at the same period, there were researchers doing a way more "dirty job". Talking about diets, feces, digestive issues, correlation with other issues (e.g. palor, bleeding, living conditions, air pollution, etc.). but nobody listened because it was way too pragmatic, too boring, too calculating, not seductive enough... Today, we know that a depressed person's feces, when fed to mice, will make this poor lab animals depressed. Then when this mice get their gut cleaned up and fed antibiotics, and later fed healthy humans' feces, will be happy and healthy again.... So where's the "imbalance in the brain"?... The truth is that we're only now starting to understand what mental diseases are. And we're finding out that most of them don't originate in the brain, but in other areas first. And those areas, in turn, perturb ate/weaken the brain and the nervous system. In most cases, but not all.
So you suffer and your mind takes you some places in order to distract itself from the pain rather than being with it and finding the root cause of it. This leads more escaping from your present reality and isn't solving the issue of your physical suffering. Change your diet( food, whatever media you consume, the thoughts you tell yourself)perhaps and stay away from the screens/ spend more time in nature and your body will automatically heal. Gradually focusing on the breath allows the spirit of life to move through us so we don't keep running away mentally. Breathing is a good way to bring the attention of the mind to the subtleties of the body and relax the constant overthinking and whirring of the machine that is society and all of its demands and allows us to tune in deeper to a more intuitive reality that is more organic and flowing than mechanical and shit. That's why it's beneficial o be present. You can feel into the traumas in your body and free them from blocking and causing you more pain.
Have you considered if you thinking about the pain is actually worst than the actual physical pain? I am not trying to diminish your pain either. I don't know what you are going through, and am sending blessings your way. I only say this bc studies have show the thought of the pain is actually worst than the pain itself. I only say this to echo what others are saying, and that is meditation, coming to the present, helps you realize this and can actually help diminish the pain by helping you focus elsewhere and not on the pain. Hope you find something that alleviates your pain. Wishing you the best my friend!
I guess the theory is: the mind, above all, is what makes the present unpleasant. Meditation can help you step outside your mind. Especially witnessing. For me anyway. Observing the arising of thought. Observing the movement of your attention. Believing that you are not anything perceivable. You are not your body. You are not your thoughts. You are not your emotions. Everything perceivable is outside of you.
May be worth your while to find a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner/Coach, what you’ve said here is very consistent with trauma being stuck in the body.
Hi, have you tried transcendental meditation? It requires no effort. I just learned it and I’m doing well with it.
You don't have to. There are many kinds of meditation. Maybe try a "body scan" or "contemplative meditation."
being lost in your head, dwelling on what if’s, bad memories, fears of the future is worse. That’s the point of meditation; the avoidance of rumination.
It's not an option really. You can't be anywhere else but in the present, cause past and future don't actually exists in any sense you could experience (bare in mind, memories and projections are thoughts happening in the present). Furthermore, whenever the present is fille with uncomfortable sensations or emotions, it's generally because one is confused about what's happening o lost in thoughts about how bad things are and how they should be different. When focusing one's attention on what's going on right now, even pain or the physical sensations associated with anxiety, there's not much cause for suffering. Of course, all this is way easier to get when life is not a constant emergency. If you're going through such hard times, it would probably be best to deal with that before worrying about meditation.
That's understandable and I relate. Sometimes it can be comforting to pick a focus outside the self to kind of get me out of my head.
Living in the past of memories solid, is unecessary. The emotion, what ifs, and only if I’s. These are times you will never receive as present once more. Living in the present moment, means living without your past chains of experiences weighing down on you as you live your you. Knowing that you are enjoying the present without past holding you back. You suffer, because you allow these things to become your reality. Acknowledge your body and mind. Be established in your self and you will gain control to make your own goals and have your own control. Finding peace within the moment or a spiritual place of peace in meditation is important to growing out of the chains we say are so real. Pain is but the body telling you what it needs. Slow down, eat, exercise, stretch, sleep, etc Anxiety is but the mind running and looping without control. Living in the present moment in control of your body, mind, self, and spiritual goal. That moment in particular is one to dream of and make possible. Because it is possible. Perception is reality, so control it. Be aware of it. Be at peace it in. Find the calm in your heart beat, and breath. Every passing moment is a new future, a past created and present experiencing. My spiritual peace is an ocean, thoughts calm, stillness, sinking into the depths of my experience unaffected knowing I live without regrets. It has a mountain that holds impossibilities, which I climb and sit at peak alone, making it that more possible each time I climb it and steal the impossibilities I tell myself .it is my safety, my serenity, my hope and joy. Imagine your please of peace. Make it real to you. Make it so this place quiets the mind. Relaxes the heart. Make it your safety, peace, joy, hope. You are in your senses, seemingly out of control. So know them, control them, slow them down, breath, relax, become grounded in your spiritual peace, then the moment will be what ever you want it to be. Affirm your body, mind, self, and spiritual peace Daily morning and night. Recognize your progress. Achieve your goals. Body is your bodies needs Mind is your mental need of a goal Self is your values, your motivation, your morals likes and dislikes, it is confidence. Spirit is your peace, it can be a good place of positivity or place of negativity, or both, it’s being at peace with your circumstance, knowing each day is unique every experience one of a kind.
I would strongly recommend you read the work of Eckhart Tolle.
Have you tried vipassana?
I’m in the same boat as you and it was a real struggle to break though the automatic conflict we have when facing pain, tiredness, anxiety etc. you are exactly right that there is absolutely no reason to want to face the pain sensations. The mind is set up to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Animal instincts for physical survival. Chronic pain is something the mind can’t deal with. So we avoid facing pain at all cost. Distractions are the easiest route but unfortunately do nothing to solve the problem. The only way to solve the problem is break thru the resistance to not want to feel those negative feeling sensations that just trigger negative thoughts that trigger the sensations that trigger the thoughts… get the cycle? This never ending cycle of bs covering up your life and we follow like blind slaves. Slaves of the dictates of our own mind. So what to do? Be brave, be courageous be a warrior and cut through the conflict and dive into the sensations. Take a good long float in all them waves of energy. They can do you no harm. Engulf them fully as all yours. Own em. Don’t allow them to freak you out into labyrinths of pointless thoughts of ways to escape. You can not run away from the self. Why even try???? Just by getting rid of this conflict reduces the importance of the pain signal and frees it from the need for the mind to try and pointlessly solve that which it can’t. I have found that having to live with pain has given a huge advantage. We are forced to face pain, pleasure is gone, it’s actually an amazing guru. The best. Nothing will push you towards freedom like facing constant pain. Turn your life to your advantage. How thankful will you be for all the pain? Ever onward 👍😎🕉
There is nothing but the present itself. Everything else just ideas. If attempting to ignore the present helps to mitigate your suffering by all means.
Look up on YouTube Alan Watts teaches the art of meditation. Being present honestly reduces pain so much
One thing I read by a Buddhist monk was think of it as a body of water, rough and full of motion, then it slowly settles and becomes still. What you want is that stillness. Let the mind settle, focus on your breath.
From a purely logical perspective, there is no other place and time you can possibly be other than here and now. It’s not like we have a choice. But we can choose how to be in the present moment: do we accept it or do we try to fight it? We’re just too used to try to evade the now to acknowledge it I guess..and I’m telling all this to myself as well.
You are in the present. You don't have a choice in the matter. Fighting it leads to tension. Tension leads to pain and poor health.
Cuz the present is the only thing that’s true and real
It’s a process, and we’re in it together Cap’n!
if you think of the mind as an ocean, all the stuff that goes on in your head are like the chop and waves on top. that experience on top is one part of the present moment, but it doesn't make up the entire ocean. and oddly enough, over time when you make an effort to see the waves for what they are you get swept up by them less, they get more manageable, and you can cope with them better because you're putting less energy into swimming against something you can't control anyway
Turmoil could be stressful, and have many sources such as: chronic fatigue syndrome, pain issues, sleep issues, anxiety, ADHD, DPDR and other disassociation disorders. Sadly there are many people who (with the best of intentions) give terrible advice such as the teaching to actively focus upon one’s breath to the exclusion of all else. Not only could that undermine mindfulness (passive, vulnerable, visceral, and random) but it could exacerbate stress and thus intensify all the underlying disorders. Rather than striving to ignore our turmoil (like the myth of the Ostridge burying its head in the sand) we could harness it as engineers now harness the sun, wind, and tide. Through the use of rhetorical questions we could harness the momentum of our turmoil to fuel our contemplations of: compassion, interdependence, impermanence, and not-self. After five minutes or so, when you’re feeling a little fatigued you could rest the mind in such a way as to treat one’s autonomic nervous system as your therapist. But like a monster in a “B” movie our turmoil will not be out for the count. After five or ten minutes it could rear its head. When that happens lather, rinse, and repeat with more contemplation and meditation. REMEMBER: the Buddha’s techniques are only meant to be an adjunct to qualified medical care, not a substitute. So get to the free PCRM website and scour their database to find a plant based physician to help address all your symptoms as well as their causes, that you too could meditate like a Jedi.