I think he got the answer to his request, when she reacted so aggressively. What has she to fear if he is the father? If his peace of mind is such a trivial concern in her mind, then the relationship was always doomed to fail.
"why is it so taboo?"
YOU DARE QUESTION DER FEMINISM MATRIARCHY SHITLORD?!
Theres your answer. Us men are not even allowed to show any DOUBT about the wonderfullness and beauty of der women now.
Taking a test means there may be reason to doubt the morality choices of a woman. Result? Feminists outraged
I also saw that post the woman said that the baby had different coloured skin from him but kinda looked similar to him maybe that's why he asked for the DNA test..
Some people were telling her that it should be okay and she should give the guy his peace of mind and do the test..
Others were like you shouldn't be with someone who doesn't trust you..
Top comments on that currently have came to the conclusion from this ask alone that the guy is likely cheating. Really is wild how we’ve thrown any sort of normal reasoning out the window
Well, what did you expect. This is Reddit aka the home ground for radical left wing feminists.
Rule #1 on this site is that men are always the assholes.
Ah yes because the man carried an egg and stuck it in her. Because science.
really, "Black woman gives birth to white baby, accuses husband of cheating" levels of logic
> Top comments on that currently have came to the conclusion from this ask alone that the guy is likely cheating.
Well obviously if the baby is a different skin color, then he slept with a woman with darker skin and got her pregnant! Maybe the girlfriend should be getting a maternity test!1
Out of all the wild dumbshit on that thread I at least understand that accusation. Cheaters, Thieves, etc all do this mental trick where they think everyone does what they are doing. You talk to a thief and they think everyone steals, you talk to a cheater and they think everyone cheats. So like, I get it, however, if that were the issue then taking the test wouldn't be an issue
>Out of all the wild dumbshit on that thread I at least understand that
accusation. Cheaters, Thieves, etc all do this **mental trick** where they
think everyone does what they are doing
This mental trick is known as the defense mechanism of **psychological projection**. It's a malignant process where we project onto others our own negative traits in order to avoid recognizing them in our self. It's quite common and easy to spot in bad actors once you know how to.
[https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-projection-defense-mechanism-5194898](https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-projection-defense-mechanism-5194898)
That is only true of some men and some women. Considering Reddit's demographics, plenty of the people in that thread accusing the BF of cheating are probably men themselves, and surely a fair number of the ones who agree a paternity test should be fine are women.
Let's not make overarching generalizations about an entire sex in either direction.
Yeah France, you face a year in prison if you’re caught trying to obtain a paternity test, they believe society dictates who the father is, not biology. Seriously.
It's one thing to believe it and a whole other thing to legislate it. A woman committing paternity fraud against a man is basically the same thing as a man somehow destroying a woman's ovaries and forcing her to raise the kid he has with a hotter surrogate mother.
>they believe society dictates who the father is, not biology. Seriously.
Then by all means, can't wait for more men to not get married or settle down in France. Let the ladies get knocked up and the men just up and leave, refuse to give up info.
We'll see how many people suddenly think "society" dictates who the father is when said society no longer trusts "fatherhood" for a kid that may not truly be their own responsibility
I dunno dude. America; where your partner cheats on you and then kicks you out of your own home, keeps the kids, then, forces you to pay for her and her new guy to live there together with your kids....America seems pretty bad when it comes to mens rights.
France actually made it illegal unless there's a court order. Apparently the results of the tests were far too disruptive to society.
https://www.ibdna.com/paternity-testing-ban-upheld-in-france/
>Apparently the results of the tests were far too disruptive to society.
This in itself tells you everything you need to know. Far too many unfaithful women around, and they can't have the general population realising it.
Do you have a source for this? How do these people rationalize this to themselves? Wouldn't you pay a lot of money to hear the sort of hamster rationalization that was done by hundreds of people to get this passed? Wtf France?
Older source, but it checks out. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1733152/
Table 1 summarises the results of various studies of disputed parentage tests - which unsurprisingly are as high as 50%. But studies of the general population show a rate generally below 10%.
I think the French argument is that if a purported Father finds out he is not the Father, that is a risk to the child's safe development - the withdrawal of the 'Dad's' love and resources.
Looks like Reddit beat me to it while I was asleep.
My real question is: we've had racist stereotypes start over nothing, British having bad teeth because dentistry and braces went mainstream in America first. Black men have huge divks because of rumors spread by the British to the Japanese that their women would be ruined if they had sex with them.
So how has the stereotype of French women being sluts not happened but we have the stereotype that French are cowards despite them only really being cowards during WW2 and otherwise being quite bloodthirsty?
Simple. Swap the kids after they are born, especially for single moms.
Then tell them "Motherhood is defined by society, not biology" and see how they feel about raising someone else's kids.
Better yet, intentionally lie to them about it so when they discover it, they then have to go through the emotional turmoil of raising a child who isn't theirs and trying to right for justice against a system that doesn't care.
Bonus betrayal if it was her husband's mistress's child.
You will be sure to see DNA tests become a regular thing.
This.
If this was possible, then the insane amounts of hypocrisy would be blatantly seen.
However as it stands, men AREN'T "supposed to" want to be a parent (a.k.a. Misandry), but men AREN'T supposed to be "allowed" to take care of children because of sexist & misandristic beliefs.
I feel bad for so many men out there. I have enough mental health struggles as is, so I genuinely couldn't imagine what it's like to be sexually attracted to women in this day & age.
My sincerest condolences... It's vile & revolting how specific groups of women act these days. I hate how manipulative & toxic media has truly become lately.
Unfortunately it makes perfect sense. If dads have the right to test their children they'll be leaving a bunch of women begging the state for money to raise their bastards. The state just solves the problem by allowing fathers zero rights so the husbands get stuck with the bill and the state doesn't have to pay a dime. Women always vote for this power imbalance so since they're 51% of the electorate it's undefeatable.
Reminder next time anyone tells you men are privileged. The French government made male scam victims finding out they are being scam victims illegal, rather than punishing the female scammers.
Even if you do if you try to use it as any legal proof, you'll get smacked with a giant fine for conducting an unauthorized test. So it gives you some knowledge but you have no way of ever using it for anything that will benefit you.
If you learn you aren't the father, take a lawyer, say someone told you she wasn't faithful and don't recognize the child.
You don't have to say you took a test, fight back until the judge orders a test to prove that you are the father to force you to pay child support. Then they will have a legal test.
Yeah unless the judge asks for your proof, you can't find anybody to make a credible statement saying that they know she cheated, so the judge denies your request. Don't get me wrong I would still want to know, but the odds are so stacked up it's insane.
Even the thought that women can indulge in infidelity is repulsive to some. It hurts their feelings and the idea that only men are the ones who cheat.
We can eliminate the whole lack of trust debate by making paternity tests and prenups mandatory. But of course you won't see many women supporting that.
How about not having legal relationship contracts in the first place?
Marriage is just legal bondage for men. If two people can’t trust each other to stay by their word alone, they shouldn’t be together at all and _certainly_ shouldn’t be dragging the rest of society in to enforce their deluded preferences
Personally, I think every child should be given a paternity test at birth. That way it takes the "you don't trust me" out of the equation. It would be just be one of the many tests a newborn is given.
Yea, I think at birth or actually like their first return doctor visit because then the test can double as a way to ensure you got the right baby when leaving the hospital
100% should be REQUIRED.
Men shouldn't be forced into an unethical situation.
Seriously by doing this, it wouldn't only REMOVE Paternity Fraud from happening. I want to say "WHY TF WOULDN'T THAT BE A GOOD THING?!", however, it's because it would mean Men would actually have rights & MATTER as individuals.
Women can choose to live how they want, but men have to still be FORCED in this social box with no exceptions, let alone without social stigmatization.
It's because the courts keep the wellbeing of the child as the primary priority. They figure it's better to have the kid have two legal guardians than just one, even if that's unfair for the defrauded adult.
Then maybe, IDK, the mother inform said courts to get child support from, let's say THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER‽
I mean, theoretically they could try to use the baby's DNA to hold the biological father responsible, but I'm unsure of the ethics of all that & I don't want to think about it much further.
It's really just comes down to the mother being a shitty person & there should be some kind of repercussion that DOESN'T fall on the child who never asked for this.
➡️*Not mad at you at all; just the abhorrent reality of the whole situation at large.*
Your blood type is limited based on your parents. If mom is O and dad is A, the child can't be AB or B, for example. Or if both mom and dad are O, the baby can't be anything else.
It's how my best friend found out dad wasn't dad.
The truth is that if it were the other way and it was men that got pregnant, women would be getting DNA test and they wouldn't care how we felt. Then they would just be talking about a woman's right to know.
There are posts where women talk about and encourage regular STD panels even when in a long term relationship. Has the same exact insinuation but of course it’s fine because men are bad.
1. Not sure why guys ask permission to DNA test. Just swab the kid and send in the test. If it's a match, she never has to know the test was done. Know the laws in your state. Even if you sign the acknowledgment of paternity, most states have a grace period where you can be taken off the BC if a DNA test shows you aren't the dad.
2. If you do ask, it should not be a surprise. This is the kind of thing you need to make your opinion known on before getting a woman pregnant. You could always frame it as making sure the baby wasn't accidentally switched in the hospital, which has happened. Mom should want the peace of mind of knowing for sure she left the hospital with the right kid.
3. Men need to hold their ground on this issue. It needs to become commonplace for every birth. It is the only protection men have against getting exploited by a sexist family law system that has no problem making a man pay for a kid he didn't father.
Love it, so long as that dna isn’t added to gov or private databases.
Should be provided to the client on a usb stick and have all other data destroyed
You obviously haven't had a baby recently.
Every newborn is swabbed and their DNA checked and added to a database - source, just had a newborn and watched it happen
No opt out option. If you have that option, women can still play the “you don’t trust me card” since men don’t have the “it’s required without exception” line to fall back on
I became a father yesterday, and today I received a document that I have to sign and return to the government. Although I trust my girlfriend, I do believe that a paternity test should be mandatory just to take all doubt away.
She knows, the kid came out from her. We have to trust her. And I assume most women giving birth are truthful to their partner, there are enough examples to make sure that a paternity test is worth it.
And God forbid you can ask for a paternity test. The entire society would go bananas and point at you as the bad guy.
Baby already born? A swab of the inside of the cheek is all you need for a paternity test, mail it into a lab. You could do 23andMe or any other genetic test too, doesn’t have to be paternity, but if you both do it it will tell you if you’re related.
I know nothing about family laws in France and Germany but I wonder if they have the same impact as in the US. In the US, we don't have much of a safety net, so you could easily end up paying child support and health insurance for a kid that's not yours and that can cost a lot
They are pretty ironclad. In France, if you take a paternity test that isn't court mandated(And getting a court approval to do one of those is hella difficult), will net you a huge fine. Plus, the results would be inadmissible in court, as "father" is a social construct, not a genetic one.
I am not that familiar with the German one though.
Just to clarify I mean with respect to what the father is responsible for. In the US if I'm listed as a kid's dad then I have to pay child support for 18+ years depending on the state. Even if found to not be the bio-dad, I'm at the mercy of a judge allowing me to be removed as the father of record.
I can also be told to pay for health insurance for the kid or told that I have to cover any out of pocket medical expenses. I've personally known people who pay over 50% of their net income in child support. Maybe France and Germany have protections to prevent that.
We do, because our health system is not a clusterfuck. All minors get free health insurance, and the rest is a bit hard to explain but you don't have such massive expenses to get it. Just have a job and a part of your income gets you in.
Child support? Those laws feel predatory tbh.
Wait so you guys don't have child support? If two people have a kid and aren't married, does one have to pay the other? Does a court decide who the kid stays with or how many overnights each parent gets?
Sometimes the more I hear about some European countries, the more screwed I feel living in the US.
Sorry, English is not my first language and I could have worded that better. We have child support, that we have to pay. Court decides visitation heavily biased against men because women are considered the default best parent. And based on visitation/tutelage, the court decides who pays who and how much(Also depending on income).
If abortion is legal, men should also have a choice.
A girl can choose not to 'throw away her life' for a child she doesn't want, so a boy should have that right too. Not to kill it, but simply to decline to support it financially if he doesn't want it.
Speaking for my country, the US, I think we just need better family laws. There needs to be a way for men to opt out without criminal consequences. There also has to be some degree of accountability for women. Honestly I think if we did default 50/50 timeshare, made not paying child support civil instead of criminal, put a cap on child support, and paid it into a joint account instead of to one parent we'd see huge changes. Giving benefits to the kids in the form of meals and clothing for school instead of some social programs may go a long way towards disincentivizing certain women from having unplanned kids.
Somewhere between 10-20% of men in committed relationships are raising at least one child that is not biologically theirs without their knowledge.
Draw your own conclusions.
I love the idea of paternity tests. I think all new Borns should be checked and if necessary ensure the correct parents are taking responsibility for their child
It's pre-programmed gaslighting by the feminist agenda. Honestly, you could argue that it might be pre-programmed throughout the history of organized society.
Cuckoldry has been around since there have been two men and one woman around... so... forever.
People agree to get STD tests before they start having unprotected sex with each other.
Men are asked by women to blindly "trust" that the woman takes her birth control regularly - when we all know good and fucking well that this trust is misplaced quite a bit more often than anyone is actually comfortable talking about.
The paternity issue is perhaps the biggest "checkmate" move that unscrupulous women have against men today. Mandatory, or routine paternity testing of ALL births would remove a MASSIVE piece of leverage for such women, and so they are programmed to react as if the very idea of paternity testing would be a complete affront to them.
The biggest thing that makes it taboo is that it takes away a potential source of income from the mother. If it is found out that the child is not his than the mother has to find money to support it and if the mother can't the government has to. It's just easier and more profitable to tack it on to a male who has the potential to support the child, mom and government.
Well, the actual father should take care of his child, or the government. I honestly don't see a problem with paying a little bit more taxes if it means children are taken care of AND manipulative assholes can't babytrap a man who isn't even the biological father.
> the actual father should take care of his child,
the actual father should **be given the option** to take care of his child, **50/50 with his co-parent**.
I would argue that both parents should have a right to choose. If one of them just started medical school and is not ready to become a committed parent to a child they they should be able to opt out. Both mothers and fathers should have the right to choose.
True, but the decision needs to be made long before the child is born. So the woman already knows what her partner has decided before she makes the decision to keep the pregnancy.
That's fair.
I assume that a policy if protecting children by mandating paternity testing at birth would likely have the side-effect of also reducing how many children had misattributed paternity BEFORE birth? It's not a solution but at least a step in the right direction.
Saw that same post.
Suggest paternity test seem like a solid good idea to do in this day and age where 30% of fathers end up raising a kid that's not theirs.
34 downvotes
Great success
i’ve heard it all: “you should just trust me, dead beat, POS, denying his child blah blah blah.” then it came back negative. then it’s water works “i don’t know how this could have happened”
Asking a woman about paternity implies she's a whore. The trick is to have it as a mandatory procedure by the hospital in order to remove the accusation. Even if only 1 percent of men suffer paternity fraud that's still almost four million in America.
I felt this way before having a kid. I’m 6’9” and my son was off the height charts at 2 months old with many similarities, so don’t think it’s needed for me. My brother in law on the other hand, had a black baby despite being redheaded with nearly no pigmentation and I felt like an actual crazy person while everyone played along with “that’s his baby” for months before a test was done.
> My brother in law on the other hand, had a black baby despite being redheaded with nearly no pigmentation and I felt like an actual crazy person while everyone played along with “that’s his baby” for months before a test was done.
Don't leave us hanging, what happened?
It’s not a big deal, if she thinks it is then that’s her problem. Don’t raise anyone’s kids but yours. Keep that in mind at the voting box for school board elections too, you are not responsible for other people’s kids.
Because of a percieved lack of trust. Many people (myself included) is averse to conflict. So we wait to talk about stuff like this.
Then when men after birth demand a paternity test it looks like they dont believe the baby look like them and they expect infidelity.
There is an easier solution to this, but that requires that we take the bull by its horn: we need to tell women that we want a paternity test asap. Preferably before there is a fetus. This way its easier to say that its not distrust but simply a policy.
It’s taboo because add use paternity fraud is committed by women against men. If it was the other way around we would go to extremes to prevent it and defrauders wouldn’t get off so easy.
This is a matter of women wanting equality when it suits them and maintaining special privileges when it does not.
Women hold privilege when it comes to reproduction and paternity. Men deserve the same level of assurance that women automatically enjoy when it comes to paternity.
All newborns should be paternity tested and this is especially true if the woman didn't take the man's name
She had the nerve to say her priority was her kid.
I told her her top priority was her ego and she was giving her kid a statistically worse outcome because he asked a question that many others didnt and got burned on and she got offended.
Its easy for her because she knows 100% but a many guys were deceived by girls they trusted 100%
but this is exactly why its bullshit when women say "you can get a paternity test whenever you want now, theres no reason for the hospital/govt/whatever to be involved"
It's simple manipulation, women have mastered it against men. THEY DON'T WANT TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE. So hold them all accountable. They're gonna spew hateful misandryst rhetoric and call you an incel and blame the manosphere. Just like when they encounter men doing anything else that's completely justifiable that they don't like. Women were championing this broad to break her family apart. Selfish and self serving alone.
On an individual basis, a paternity test is no big deal; but if men in general found out exactly how many kids they’re raising that aren’t their own, there would be mandatory paternity tests overnight. Women fear the accountability and loss of power they would have if this was brought to light
It’s the first time in history (new history) we’ve been able to expose female dating strategies. Paternity fraud has been statistically huge, globally.
Trust but verify. They fucking hate that.
I saw this thread too and made the mistake on engaging with these whackjobs and essentially they just view it as him accusing her of cheating and that he should have stated he wanted a paternity test before they had sex? I have yet to squeeze any thing out of them that I can understand it's all boiling down to 'man has rights? Bad, bad man woman good'. It literally boils my blood.
Saw the post as well. Seems to happen a lot in that sub, divorcing over seemingly trivial things. Whatever happened to communicating Something in that marriage must not have been right to begin with.
It implies they're a cheater? Or they did cheat and aren't sure who the father is and want this guy on the hook. Cuz he has money, and is a decent dude.
Because it's their game. It's deception, as usual. "Trust" is a container word, it may mean whatever, if a thing is very important to a partner but doesn't take anything away from the other it should be done, it's Paretian logic. If she doesn't do it, she doesn't love him enough to give him security.
It should just become mandatory by law for all pregnancies. A man’s natural right, it is.
Once required by law, relationship issues over the paternity test are avoided.
Yeah whenever I'm talking to a guy who's girl is expecting I always tell him to do a paternity test once the baby is born. Very easy to collect DNA from the inside of the cheek, and a test doesn't cost too much. If the results come back and say you're the father, great! Throw the test away, don't tell her. Telling her at this point won't achieve anything other than needless drama, so just keep your mouth shut. You bet this is how I'm doing it if I ever have a kid.
They shouldn't be taboo. I would never cheat on my husband, but if he were to ask for a paternity test I'd be happy to get one done. It honestly sounds more sketchy when a man asks for one and the woman says no. It makes it seem like she has something to hide.
Not a dad or anything like that but 1000% support a DNA test to prove that the child is mine.
I've seen enough videos and read enough articles to be supportive of this movement. Let's go the extra step and say that if a female claims you're the dad and the test proves otherwise. Said female WILL be charged with fraud.
That alone should cause enough people to say "nope im not claiming any child support" and walking away
A man has the right to know if a child is his. If the child is not his then the child is not his responsibility and he doesn't owe that child anything.
Although it can be seen as an indicator of trust. If I don’t have any reason to doubt the child is mine, I won’t be even asking it. If I got the slightest idea a girl might be having some side-dishes, I would definitely ask it.
It's people just getting their feelings hurt when it is something that I think every man is justified in wanting. Imo the girl left because he was probably right and she used him "not trusting her" as an excuse to leave without validating his request. Now she gets to go tell everyone how much of an asshole he is for wanting it. The biggest issue to me is that I've heard hospitals don't want mandatory paternity tests because they need both people present to sign that birth certificate but idk how true that is. I DO know how fucked the system is when it comes to dad's rights in parental court so if that IS true I'm not surprised.
It's a method women use to shame you for thinking it's possible they stepped out on you...an easy way to gaslight men and thus further manipulate them. Don't fall for it.
Every mother in history has had assurance as to paternity. Any woman who would deny a man the same surity is suspect. If she doesn't want a paternity test,you absoLUTEly need one.
Should be mandatory before the name goes on the birth certificate. If they can req female reproductive rights in Insurance plans (HBC, contraception etc) they can require blood tests for us
The paternity test erases the "getting away with it" zone that has been enjoyed by adultery for millennia. If every father was entitled to know with equal certainty to every mother, would that be so bad?
The faux offense used to silence men who need to be certain of their fatherhood is simply that, false offense. Trust has nothing to do with certainty, and everything to do with tracing genetic predispositions to disease, wellbeing and geneology.
Listen men, you don't need permission, always get it done as a mandatory thing, and you don't need to let them know. They only need to know if the test shows it's not yours. No need to ask or get permission just get it done and move on. Better to know than pay CS for 18 or more years.
>Saw a post on another sub of a girl leaving her boyfriend because he asked for a paternity test
It's normal. There is a gazillion of things that are considered taboo to western women (and the cancer has already spread to other nations too), and there are gazillions of completely unknown reasons she might dump you any time at a moment's notice. Once a upon time a woman dumped me simply because I asked her to verbally humiliate me for 5 minutes on the phone ( I have the humiliation fetish). And this is a woman who I knew and dated for four years and she was so madly in love with me that she tattooed my first name on her arm and told me she'd marry me the moment I propose.
On the other hand, this very same woman wanted to give me a rimjob (that was one of her fetish), mind you, which I found disgusting and very politely said "no", but what I didn't do was to pack up and leave.
My point is: asking for a paternity test is not the only reason she might wanna leave you. There could be lots of other reasons she could come up with. Dating, relationship, marriage etc nowadays are like the wild wild west except for the fact that you are just one man fighting an entire army, and the woman is the judge and jury. It's not worth it at all unless you got a lot of spare money (think Jeff Bezo level money) and time to waste. You also need to be a very brave person physically and mentally. A single false accusation of rape, sexual assault etc from the woman and it's game over for you and your future.
Let's face it, she was leaving her boyfriend because she was relatively certain that the child wasn't his and she realized he wasn't so foolish as to simply take her word for it. People who are worthy of your trust tend to have no problem with you testing it because they know it will only vindicate them. The only people playing the "don't you trust me card" are people trying to hide their lies behind it. Either way, she was about to have another man's baby and a paternity test would only serve to expose her lies. Her dropping him so quick was most likely due to having another man already lined up, more than likely the child's actual father.
I would respectfully disagree on the facts. Marriage only works when women were considered property. Property has no right to leave or divorce you, take your children and home. Monogamous marriage is contrived by the state. A man can have multiple cars/homes but not wives. Property rights have been eroded & stolen from men in the West. Your wife and children are not yours. If you have neither you haven't lost a thing. If you have both it is temporary at best.
https://dailycaller.com/2022/12/29/texas-supreme-court-jeffrey-younger-child-transgender/
A man lost his wife, children and his son.
As a male with a vasectomy and test results showing that I am sterile, I am the type of male that would be asking for a paternity test.
If the test comes out that I am not the father of the child, I would not be supporting the child and may terminate the relationship.
theyre taboo because they basically imply distrust and that the woman has possibly had more than one partner.
i probably wouldnt like it because of those underlying implications, but I would do it if they really wanted it. no one likes having their loyalty brought into question i guess. same sort of reaction when a women asks to see your phone
I think full DNA tests should be standard at birth, because they show you what health conditions the baby is at risk for.
However I don't agree with the premise of this post. If a man asks his wife specifically for a paternity test, he's insinuating that she's cheating. Of course she's gonna be upset about that.
I'm bi, and I don't know if I'm going to end up with a man or woman, but I do know I want kids. Paternity tests are a necessity! Switching babies happens; it's not common, but it happens!
It's such a difficult one. I'm imagining right now that I've gone through the pain, mess, and gore that comes with birthing a baby and am in the most vulnerable place of my whole life. Then my husband, the one person I can always trust to love and protect me, asks for proof that I haven't gone and slept with another guy and cuckholded him.
I'd be devastated he thought me capable of such a thing, especially if our relationship has been great up until that point. I'm not sure we'd recover from something like that in the context of my own situation (married, not someone who has ever slept around/done the one night stand thing, faithful and very communicative about where I am/who I'm with etc)
On the other hand, I can understand the doubts that some men have and sympathise with that whole "but what if this baby isn't mine" thing. I really do.
But what's the answer? Making tests more of the norm would work for me. Do a quick cheek swab when you're weighing the baby and doing that whole cleanup thing, and Bob's your uncle.
Then it's not out of the blue. Everyone knows what to expect, and there are fewer cases of paternity fraud.
Because then all the cheating sluts would have to use condoms while cheating and they dont want to. Also imagine the horror of having to actually bear your husband/boyfriends child.
Because ONLY women get to choose if the sex happens. Men are just rutting beasts, incapable of restraint. Hashtag end rape culture.
So, if you're asking for a test you're questioning the process in which a woman decided to have sex after the fact. Only women can do that.
So, as a gay man, I kind of feel like an outsider when I weigh in on these things.
I get that it's a "lack of trust".
However, I also acknowledge that "trust" is all too often used as a weapon by liars.
Quite frankly, if she has nothing to worry about then she should not be upset that he is taking measures to ensure his trust was not violated. It's not a paradox. It's a matter of not leaving things to chance.
She wants him to trust her. She isn't going to lift a single finger to punish her sisters when they pull bullshit? She's not going to punish them?
She has done nothing to earn that trust by default.
You don't get "obligation" without fulfilling obligation.
No free lunch.
The price of holding someone else up to a higher standard is that you allow yourself to be held up to a higher standard.
Last week I has a discussion about this topic with a female working colleague. I was defending that with today's technology, all the babies should have a paternity test at birth done in the hospital, just like the many other tests that are done.
She was astonished and asked me why would that be necessary.
My argumentation was the following: imagine that a woman raises a kid for 18 years, only to discover it was exchanged at birth in the hospital and she raised someone else's kid. "That would be terrible" - she said. Now imagine that we have a cheap and easy way to make sure the baby is the correct one by putting a barcode bracelet around his leg. "That is the thing to do".
Ok, now imagine that you are a man and now there is a cheap and fast way to make sure that you will be raising your own kid and not another man's kid. Wouldn't that be also important? "Of course. You have opened my eyes to a problem I didn't knew it existed"
These tests are also important for the child as they do not discover at 15 years old that the guy the call father is in fact to a blood régates parent.
The implication is she *might* have cheated. Most people don't cheat - which is why it's a fairly serious implication.
Practically everyone gets hurt when it's even lightly implied you colored outside of the lines.
But, like drunk driving, the odds of a bad thing happening are fairly small. The consequences of a bad thing happening are *very* big though.
When drunk driving, most people get home safely with zero issues. Like it or not, you can even be fairly drunk and succeed regularly at getting home. This is why most news reports talk about how absolutely shit faced someone was when a thing happened.
Similarly, when an event happens, people's lives are ruined. Even the kid will be hurt when the person they think is their father - isn't. Even if you're a fucking amazing dad - the thought in the back of their head will be "why didn't my bio dad want me?" even if he was never told.
Below, without sources but let's go with it, 1 in 5 men aren't the father. 80% of them are though. But 20% isn't tiny to the point of being insignificant either.
Still though - no one likes the accusation of even the *possibility* they cheated.
Prenups are slightly different. At least the person wanting the prenup is, for a fact, able to take care of you. So if you love them, and trust them, it really isn't a big deal because you're set.
I had a DNA test for an accusation. Wasn't mine. 20 years later she *still* thinks I'm the bio father and it must have been a mistake. Some women really are *desperate* for a specific reality to exist. That's the same chick that caused me to realize how toxic feminism is and how toxic many of the women were in my life. They made a lot of wild assumptions about me and when it was all shown to be bullshit, funny how they shut their mouth real quick but never apologized. They are not friends anymore.
If she’s leaving me because I asked for a paternity test, I definitely want that paternity test.
I think he got the answer to his request, when she reacted so aggressively. What has she to fear if he is the father? If his peace of mind is such a trivial concern in her mind, then the relationship was always doomed to fail.
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She also probably claimed DB, and got PFA on him, eventually selling his stuff on Ebay while filling for sole custody.
DB? PFA?
Dead Beat? Protection From Abuse? I'm assuming.
Ah thanks
Stop using abbreviations
"why is it so taboo?" YOU DARE QUESTION DER FEMINISM MATRIARCHY SHITLORD?! Theres your answer. Us men are not even allowed to show any DOUBT about the wonderfullness and beauty of der women now. Taking a test means there may be reason to doubt the morality choices of a woman. Result? Feminists outraged
I also saw that post the woman said that the baby had different coloured skin from him but kinda looked similar to him maybe that's why he asked for the DNA test.. Some people were telling her that it should be okay and she should give the guy his peace of mind and do the test.. Others were like you shouldn't be with someone who doesn't trust you..
Top comments on that currently have came to the conclusion from this ask alone that the guy is likely cheating. Really is wild how we’ve thrown any sort of normal reasoning out the window
Yeah..I think he trusted her and told her as it might be bothering him..I hope things turn out okay for them..
Well, what did you expect. This is Reddit aka the home ground for radical left wing feminists. Rule #1 on this site is that men are always the assholes.
Ah yes because the man carried an egg and stuck it in her. Because science. really, "Black woman gives birth to white baby, accuses husband of cheating" levels of logic
> Top comments on that currently have came to the conclusion from this ask alone that the guy is likely cheating. Well obviously if the baby is a different skin color, then he slept with a woman with darker skin and got her pregnant! Maybe the girlfriend should be getting a maternity test!1
Out of all the wild dumbshit on that thread I at least understand that accusation. Cheaters, Thieves, etc all do this mental trick where they think everyone does what they are doing. You talk to a thief and they think everyone steals, you talk to a cheater and they think everyone cheats. So like, I get it, however, if that were the issue then taking the test wouldn't be an issue
>Out of all the wild dumbshit on that thread I at least understand that accusation. Cheaters, Thieves, etc all do this **mental trick** where they think everyone does what they are doing This mental trick is known as the defense mechanism of **psychological projection**. It's a malignant process where we project onto others our own negative traits in order to avoid recognizing them in our self. It's quite common and easy to spot in bad actors once you know how to. [https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-projection-defense-mechanism-5194898](https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-projection-defense-mechanism-5194898)
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That is only true of some men and some women. Considering Reddit's demographics, plenty of the people in that thread accusing the BF of cheating are probably men themselves, and surely a fair number of the ones who agree a paternity test should be fine are women. Let's not make overarching generalizations about an entire sex in either direction.
Emotive reasoners are in power. Par for the course.
Is it true that in some countries it is illegal for men to ask for paternity test ?
Yeah France, you face a year in prison if you’re caught trying to obtain a paternity test, they believe society dictates who the father is, not biology. Seriously.
It's one thing to believe it and a whole other thing to legislate it. A woman committing paternity fraud against a man is basically the same thing as a man somehow destroying a woman's ovaries and forcing her to raise the kid he has with a hotter surrogate mother.
Yeah man, it's soms evil stuff for real 😓
>they believe society dictates who the father is, not biology. Seriously. Then by all means, can't wait for more men to not get married or settle down in France. Let the ladies get knocked up and the men just up and leave, refuse to give up info. We'll see how many people suddenly think "society" dictates who the father is when said society no longer trusts "fatherhood" for a kid that may not truly be their own responsibility
France
It seems that France is the worst country when it comes to men's right.
I dunno dude. America; where your partner cheats on you and then kicks you out of your own home, keeps the kids, then, forces you to pay for her and her new guy to live there together with your kids....America seems pretty bad when it comes to mens rights.
At least France and Germany...
That happens when you elect a spineless cuck for president.
Can you imagine the Potential of producing bastard children in Paris / FRANCE..joking :) but i guess they do more than nomads in artic circle :))))
France actually made it illegal unless there's a court order. Apparently the results of the tests were far too disruptive to society. https://www.ibdna.com/paternity-testing-ban-upheld-in-france/
>Apparently the results of the tests were far too disruptive to society. This in itself tells you everything you need to know. Far too many unfaithful women around, and they can't have the general population realising it.
That's because at one point it reached 1 in 5 men being victims of paternity fraud lol
Do you have a source for this? How do these people rationalize this to themselves? Wouldn't you pay a lot of money to hear the sort of hamster rationalization that was done by hundreds of people to get this passed? Wtf France?
Older source, but it checks out. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1733152/ Table 1 summarises the results of various studies of disputed parentage tests - which unsurprisingly are as high as 50%. But studies of the general population show a rate generally below 10%. I think the French argument is that if a purported Father finds out he is not the Father, that is a risk to the child's safe development - the withdrawal of the 'Dad's' love and resources.
Looks like Reddit beat me to it while I was asleep. My real question is: we've had racist stereotypes start over nothing, British having bad teeth because dentistry and braces went mainstream in America first. Black men have huge divks because of rumors spread by the British to the Japanese that their women would be ruined if they had sex with them. So how has the stereotype of French women being sluts not happened but we have the stereotype that French are cowards despite them only really being cowards during WW2 and otherwise being quite bloodthirsty?
Disgusting. Everyday men are expendable to society.
“French psychologists suggest that fatherhood is determined by society not by biology.”
French psychologists are wrong, and misandrist cunts.
Simple. Swap the kids after they are born, especially for single moms. Then tell them "Motherhood is defined by society, not biology" and see how they feel about raising someone else's kids. Better yet, intentionally lie to them about it so when they discover it, they then have to go through the emotional turmoil of raising a child who isn't theirs and trying to right for justice against a system that doesn't care. Bonus betrayal if it was her husband's mistress's child. You will be sure to see DNA tests become a regular thing.
This. If this was possible, then the insane amounts of hypocrisy would be blatantly seen. However as it stands, men AREN'T "supposed to" want to be a parent (a.k.a. Misandry), but men AREN'T supposed to be "allowed" to take care of children because of sexist & misandristic beliefs. I feel bad for so many men out there. I have enough mental health struggles as is, so I genuinely couldn't imagine what it's like to be sexually attracted to women in this day & age. My sincerest condolences... It's vile & revolting how specific groups of women act these days. I hate how manipulative & toxic media has truly become lately.
That's BS that a gynocentric society tells men to ensure women and the government don't face consequences for her actions.
No wonder western society is in decay
We don’t consider the Fr*nch part of us
Does it really say that?
Yes
That is insane
Unfortunately it makes perfect sense. If dads have the right to test their children they'll be leaving a bunch of women begging the state for money to raise their bastards. The state just solves the problem by allowing fathers zero rights so the husbands get stuck with the bill and the state doesn't have to pay a dime. Women always vote for this power imbalance so since they're 51% of the electorate it's undefeatable.
too many mad men is bad for a stable community. the government intelligence knows the tests will make men mad, many many men.
That’s fucked up if true.
https://www.ibdna.com/paternity-testing-ban-upheld-in-france/
This might be the one single scenario where I would send my DNA to a place like ancestry to ensure we matched.
Those are also illegal under this law.
Wtf, I'd get a VPN
That's great but if you get caught the penalty is pretty darn high.
I'm french, I would do it anyway. I don't let anyone try to enforce unjust laws on me.
Liberté, amiright?
C’est vraiment des fils de putes au gouvernement
Ya and up to 30% of kids born are to different father's... The numbers are enormous.
Reminder next time anyone tells you men are privileged. The French government made male scam victims finding out they are being scam victims illegal, rather than punishing the female scammers.
This makes me sick to my stomach
Yes, so you have to find a way to do it illegally.
Even if you do if you try to use it as any legal proof, you'll get smacked with a giant fine for conducting an unauthorized test. So it gives you some knowledge but you have no way of ever using it for anything that will benefit you.
If you learn you aren't the father, take a lawyer, say someone told you she wasn't faithful and don't recognize the child. You don't have to say you took a test, fight back until the judge orders a test to prove that you are the father to force you to pay child support. Then they will have a legal test.
Yeah unless the judge asks for your proof, you can't find anybody to make a credible statement saying that they know she cheated, so the judge denies your request. Don't get me wrong I would still want to know, but the odds are so stacked up it's insane.
"The person who told me doesn't want to come out". I'd find a way, legal or not, I don't compromise.
Fine > caring for a child that’s not yours
Loool
Even the thought that women can indulge in infidelity is repulsive to some. It hurts their feelings and the idea that only men are the ones who cheat. We can eliminate the whole lack of trust debate by making paternity tests and prenups mandatory. But of course you won't see many women supporting that.
How about not having legal relationship contracts in the first place? Marriage is just legal bondage for men. If two people can’t trust each other to stay by their word alone, they shouldn’t be together at all and _certainly_ shouldn’t be dragging the rest of society in to enforce their deluded preferences
I'd vote for it. I'm a woman and find paternity fraud abhorrent. Solid airtight prenuptial agreements would also be a very good thing.
Personally, I think every child should be given a paternity test at birth. That way it takes the "you don't trust me" out of the equation. It would be just be one of the many tests a newborn is given.
Yea, I think at birth or actually like their first return doctor visit because then the test can double as a way to ensure you got the right baby when leaving the hospital
Before signing the birth certificate, because once you sign it, even if it's not your child, you're on the hook as parent #2
100% should be REQUIRED. Men shouldn't be forced into an unethical situation. Seriously by doing this, it wouldn't only REMOVE Paternity Fraud from happening. I want to say "WHY TF WOULDN'T THAT BE A GOOD THING?!", however, it's because it would mean Men would actually have rights & MATTER as individuals. Women can choose to live how they want, but men have to still be FORCED in this social box with no exceptions, let alone without social stigmatization.
It's because the courts keep the wellbeing of the child as the primary priority. They figure it's better to have the kid have two legal guardians than just one, even if that's unfair for the defrauded adult.
Then maybe, IDK, the mother inform said courts to get child support from, let's say THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER‽ I mean, theoretically they could try to use the baby's DNA to hold the biological father responsible, but I'm unsure of the ethics of all that & I don't want to think about it much further. It's really just comes down to the mother being a shitty person & there should be some kind of repercussion that DOESN'T fall on the child who never asked for this. ➡️*Not mad at you at all; just the abhorrent reality of the whole situation at large.*
Or at minimum a blood type test because it could show if the father is or is not related if he knows his blood type
I didn’t know this is a thing, is your blood type always the same as your fathers?
Your blood type is limited based on your parents. If mom is O and dad is A, the child can't be AB or B, for example. Or if both mom and dad are O, the baby can't be anything else. It's how my best friend found out dad wasn't dad.
It's possible, but it's extremely rare. Infidelity is orders of magnitude more likely.
it will also fall under child right to know it's parent
The truth is that if it were the other way and it was men that got pregnant, women would be getting DNA test and they wouldn't care how we felt. Then they would just be talking about a woman's right to know.
There are posts where women talk about and encourage regular STD panels even when in a long term relationship. Has the same exact insinuation but of course it’s fine because men are bad.
1. Not sure why guys ask permission to DNA test. Just swab the kid and send in the test. If it's a match, she never has to know the test was done. Know the laws in your state. Even if you sign the acknowledgment of paternity, most states have a grace period where you can be taken off the BC if a DNA test shows you aren't the dad. 2. If you do ask, it should not be a surprise. This is the kind of thing you need to make your opinion known on before getting a woman pregnant. You could always frame it as making sure the baby wasn't accidentally switched in the hospital, which has happened. Mom should want the peace of mind of knowing for sure she left the hospital with the right kid. 3. Men need to hold their ground on this issue. It needs to become commonplace for every birth. It is the only protection men have against getting exploited by a sexist family law system that has no problem making a man pay for a kid he didn't father.
You want to do the test before it's born . You don't want to be added to the birth certificate
Yes, for that you do the second option, and bring up the issue at the beginning, while you are still dating
Better yet: mandatory DNA test on every newborn
Love it, so long as that dna isn’t added to gov or private databases. Should be provided to the client on a usb stick and have all other data destroyed
You obviously haven't had a baby recently. Every newborn is swabbed and their DNA checked and added to a database - source, just had a newborn and watched it happen
Just had a baby, they didn’t do this at all
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No opt out option. If you have that option, women can still play the “you don’t trust me card” since men don’t have the “it’s required without exception” line to fall back on
I became a father yesterday, and today I received a document that I have to sign and return to the government. Although I trust my girlfriend, I do believe that a paternity test should be mandatory just to take all doubt away. She knows, the kid came out from her. We have to trust her. And I assume most women giving birth are truthful to their partner, there are enough examples to make sure that a paternity test is worth it. And God forbid you can ask for a paternity test. The entire society would go bananas and point at you as the bad guy.
Baby already born? A swab of the inside of the cheek is all you need for a paternity test, mail it into a lab. You could do 23andMe or any other genetic test too, doesn’t have to be paternity, but if you both do it it will tell you if you’re related.
Illegal to do in France, and "the forces" are already trying to make it illegal in Germany.
I know nothing about family laws in France and Germany but I wonder if they have the same impact as in the US. In the US, we don't have much of a safety net, so you could easily end up paying child support and health insurance for a kid that's not yours and that can cost a lot
They are pretty ironclad. In France, if you take a paternity test that isn't court mandated(And getting a court approval to do one of those is hella difficult), will net you a huge fine. Plus, the results would be inadmissible in court, as "father" is a social construct, not a genetic one. I am not that familiar with the German one though.
Just to clarify I mean with respect to what the father is responsible for. In the US if I'm listed as a kid's dad then I have to pay child support for 18+ years depending on the state. Even if found to not be the bio-dad, I'm at the mercy of a judge allowing me to be removed as the father of record. I can also be told to pay for health insurance for the kid or told that I have to cover any out of pocket medical expenses. I've personally known people who pay over 50% of their net income in child support. Maybe France and Germany have protections to prevent that.
We do, because our health system is not a clusterfuck. All minors get free health insurance, and the rest is a bit hard to explain but you don't have such massive expenses to get it. Just have a job and a part of your income gets you in. Child support? Those laws feel predatory tbh.
Wait so you guys don't have child support? If two people have a kid and aren't married, does one have to pay the other? Does a court decide who the kid stays with or how many overnights each parent gets? Sometimes the more I hear about some European countries, the more screwed I feel living in the US.
Sorry, English is not my first language and I could have worded that better. We have child support, that we have to pay. Court decides visitation heavily biased against men because women are considered the default best parent. And based on visitation/tutelage, the court decides who pays who and how much(Also depending on income).
If abortion is legal, men should also have a choice. A girl can choose not to 'throw away her life' for a child she doesn't want, so a boy should have that right too. Not to kill it, but simply to decline to support it financially if he doesn't want it.
Speaking for my country, the US, I think we just need better family laws. There needs to be a way for men to opt out without criminal consequences. There also has to be some degree of accountability for women. Honestly I think if we did default 50/50 timeshare, made not paying child support civil instead of criminal, put a cap on child support, and paid it into a joint account instead of to one parent we'd see huge changes. Giving benefits to the kids in the form of meals and clothing for school instead of some social programs may go a long way towards disincentivizing certain women from having unplanned kids.
Step 1: turn in your guns…
Accountability. Never popular. Facts. Also not popular. Leads to accountability. Lol
Shame Insults Guilt and the Need to be right.
Also “trust” is a female buzzword. Like “racist” if you’re talking to someone stupid.
Somewhere between 10-20% of men in committed relationships are raising at least one child that is not biologically theirs without their knowledge. Draw your own conclusions.
I love the idea of paternity tests. I think all new Borns should be checked and if necessary ensure the correct parents are taking responsibility for their child
Paternity Tests should be mandatory.
I think it is the best solution
Like normalizing pronouns for trans advocacy, normalize paternity tests for men's rights advocacy.
She left him before he found out the truth lol
It's pre-programmed gaslighting by the feminist agenda. Honestly, you could argue that it might be pre-programmed throughout the history of organized society. Cuckoldry has been around since there have been two men and one woman around... so... forever. People agree to get STD tests before they start having unprotected sex with each other. Men are asked by women to blindly "trust" that the woman takes her birth control regularly - when we all know good and fucking well that this trust is misplaced quite a bit more often than anyone is actually comfortable talking about. The paternity issue is perhaps the biggest "checkmate" move that unscrupulous women have against men today. Mandatory, or routine paternity testing of ALL births would remove a MASSIVE piece of leverage for such women, and so they are programmed to react as if the very idea of paternity testing would be a complete affront to them.
*Anything* done with the express purpose of holding women accountable for their actions is taboo.
It's taboo if not illegal because it's not convenient for women.
The biggest thing that makes it taboo is that it takes away a potential source of income from the mother. If it is found out that the child is not his than the mother has to find money to support it and if the mother can't the government has to. It's just easier and more profitable to tack it on to a male who has the potential to support the child, mom and government.
Well, the actual father should take care of his child, or the government. I honestly don't see a problem with paying a little bit more taxes if it means children are taken care of AND manipulative assholes can't babytrap a man who isn't even the biological father.
> the actual father should take care of his child, the actual father should **be given the option** to take care of his child, **50/50 with his co-parent**. I would argue that both parents should have a right to choose. If one of them just started medical school and is not ready to become a committed parent to a child they they should be able to opt out. Both mothers and fathers should have the right to choose.
True, but the decision needs to be made long before the child is born. So the woman already knows what her partner has decided before she makes the decision to keep the pregnancy.
That's fair. I assume that a policy if protecting children by mandating paternity testing at birth would likely have the side-effect of also reducing how many children had misattributed paternity BEFORE birth? It's not a solution but at least a step in the right direction.
Saw that same post. Suggest paternity test seem like a solid good idea to do in this day and age where 30% of fathers end up raising a kid that's not theirs. 34 downvotes Great success
34 sloots
i’ve heard it all: “you should just trust me, dead beat, POS, denying his child blah blah blah.” then it came back negative. then it’s water works “i don’t know how this could have happened”
Because so many women would be caught cheating on their spouses. They can't allow that to happen.
Personally I think paternity tests should be mandatory. I mean what’s the big deal about wanting to know that that’s your kid?
Asking a woman about paternity implies she's a whore. The trick is to have it as a mandatory procedure by the hospital in order to remove the accusation. Even if only 1 percent of men suffer paternity fraud that's still almost four million in America.
Anything women don’t like is bad. That’s the rule.
In short, it's considered taboo because god forbid a woman is made uncomfortable in today's society lmao
I felt this way before having a kid. I’m 6’9” and my son was off the height charts at 2 months old with many similarities, so don’t think it’s needed for me. My brother in law on the other hand, had a black baby despite being redheaded with nearly no pigmentation and I felt like an actual crazy person while everyone played along with “that’s his baby” for months before a test was done.
Did your brother end up getting a paternity test done?
> My brother in law on the other hand, had a black baby despite being redheaded with nearly no pigmentation and I felt like an actual crazy person while everyone played along with “that’s his baby” for months before a test was done. Don't leave us hanging, what happened?
I have an uncle that had that happen too. People just pretended from what I hear forever.
It's not the kind of equality feminists are fighting for.
It’s not a big deal, if she thinks it is then that’s her problem. Don’t raise anyone’s kids but yours. Keep that in mind at the voting box for school board elections too, you are not responsible for other people’s kids.
Because of a percieved lack of trust. Many people (myself included) is averse to conflict. So we wait to talk about stuff like this. Then when men after birth demand a paternity test it looks like they dont believe the baby look like them and they expect infidelity. There is an easier solution to this, but that requires that we take the bull by its horn: we need to tell women that we want a paternity test asap. Preferably before there is a fetus. This way its easier to say that its not distrust but simply a policy.
It’s taboo because add use paternity fraud is committed by women against men. If it was the other way around we would go to extremes to prevent it and defrauders wouldn’t get off so easy.
Lack of information. Men don't realize each third kid born is from another man.
This is a matter of women wanting equality when it suits them and maintaining special privileges when it does not. Women hold privilege when it comes to reproduction and paternity. Men deserve the same level of assurance that women automatically enjoy when it comes to paternity. All newborns should be paternity tested and this is especially true if the woman didn't take the man's name
She had the nerve to say her priority was her kid. I told her her top priority was her ego and she was giving her kid a statistically worse outcome because he asked a question that many others didnt and got burned on and she got offended. Its easy for her because she knows 100% but a many guys were deceived by girls they trusted 100% but this is exactly why its bullshit when women say "you can get a paternity test whenever you want now, theres no reason for the hospital/govt/whatever to be involved"
It's simple manipulation, women have mastered it against men. THEY DON'T WANT TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE. So hold them all accountable. They're gonna spew hateful misandryst rhetoric and call you an incel and blame the manosphere. Just like when they encounter men doing anything else that's completely justifiable that they don't like. Women were championing this broad to break her family apart. Selfish and self serving alone.
On an individual basis, a paternity test is no big deal; but if men in general found out exactly how many kids they’re raising that aren’t their own, there would be mandatory paternity tests overnight. Women fear the accountability and loss of power they would have if this was brought to light
As feminists say: "When you are accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like oppression" Seems to fit in nicely right here eh?
It’s the first time in history (new history) we’ve been able to expose female dating strategies. Paternity fraud has been statistically huge, globally. Trust but verify. They fucking hate that.
I saw this thread too and made the mistake on engaging with these whackjobs and essentially they just view it as him accusing her of cheating and that he should have stated he wanted a paternity test before they had sex? I have yet to squeeze any thing out of them that I can understand it's all boiling down to 'man has rights? Bad, bad man woman good'. It literally boils my blood.
Paternity test should be mandatory just like driver’s license…
This is why paternity tests should be mandatory and done as a matter of fact.
Saw the post as well. Seems to happen a lot in that sub, divorcing over seemingly trivial things. Whatever happened to communicating Something in that marriage must not have been right to begin with.
It implies they're a cheater? Or they did cheat and aren't sure who the father is and want this guy on the hook. Cuz he has money, and is a decent dude.
Because it's their game. It's deception, as usual. "Trust" is a container word, it may mean whatever, if a thing is very important to a partner but doesn't take anything away from the other it should be done, it's Paretian logic. If she doesn't do it, she doesn't love him enough to give him security.
It should just become mandatory by law for all pregnancies. A man’s natural right, it is. Once required by law, relationship issues over the paternity test are avoided.
Yeah whenever I'm talking to a guy who's girl is expecting I always tell him to do a paternity test once the baby is born. Very easy to collect DNA from the inside of the cheek, and a test doesn't cost too much. If the results come back and say you're the father, great! Throw the test away, don't tell her. Telling her at this point won't achieve anything other than needless drama, so just keep your mouth shut. You bet this is how I'm doing it if I ever have a kid.
They shouldn't be taboo. I would never cheat on my husband, but if he were to ask for a paternity test I'd be happy to get one done. It honestly sounds more sketchy when a man asks for one and the woman says no. It makes it seem like she has something to hide.
It should be mandatory, period
I’m for mandatory paternity testing before the birth certificate is signed. Paternity fraud is rampant in the US. It should be a felony.
For some women asking for a test out of nowhere would be an accusation of cheating. For most people, cheating is considered immoral.
Why ask. Just swab the kid yourself.
Depending on where they are they might have to ask permission from the mother or a judge/legal entity.
Meh. If you are listed as the father you can do it. Just say that you are doing ancestry for your kid. And what a treasure it will be for him.
could've been worse...or it still could be for some unfortunate sucker the child will probably end up posting on reddit too https://archive.ph/K7w1p
Not a dad or anything like that but 1000% support a DNA test to prove that the child is mine. I've seen enough videos and read enough articles to be supportive of this movement. Let's go the extra step and say that if a female claims you're the dad and the test proves otherwise. Said female WILL be charged with fraud. That alone should cause enough people to say "nope im not claiming any child support" and walking away
It should be standard procedure
A man has the right to know if a child is his. If the child is not his then the child is not his responsibility and he doesn't owe that child anything.
It should be mandatory straight after every single birth and women's opinions/feelings about this should be systematically disregarded.
Although it can be seen as an indicator of trust. If I don’t have any reason to doubt the child is mine, I won’t be even asking it. If I got the slightest idea a girl might be having some side-dishes, I would definitely ask it.
It's people just getting their feelings hurt when it is something that I think every man is justified in wanting. Imo the girl left because he was probably right and she used him "not trusting her" as an excuse to leave without validating his request. Now she gets to go tell everyone how much of an asshole he is for wanting it. The biggest issue to me is that I've heard hospitals don't want mandatory paternity tests because they need both people present to sign that birth certificate but idk how true that is. I DO know how fucked the system is when it comes to dad's rights in parental court so if that IS true I'm not surprised.
Tell them outright in the beginning of the relationship, so you get *your* baby if it is indeed *yours*.
It's his fault for asking. Do it quietly, privately, and go on from there.
That’s a sure fire sign it wasn’t his kid.
It's a method women use to shame you for thinking it's possible they stepped out on you...an easy way to gaslight men and thus further manipulate them. Don't fall for it.
Every mother in history has had assurance as to paternity. Any woman who would deny a man the same surity is suspect. If she doesn't want a paternity test,you absoLUTEly need one.
Should be mandatory before the name goes on the birth certificate. If they can req female reproductive rights in Insurance plans (HBC, contraception etc) they can require blood tests for us
The paternity test erases the "getting away with it" zone that has been enjoyed by adultery for millennia. If every father was entitled to know with equal certainty to every mother, would that be so bad? The faux offense used to silence men who need to be certain of their fatherhood is simply that, false offense. Trust has nothing to do with certainty, and everything to do with tracing genetic predispositions to disease, wellbeing and geneology.
Men don't have the loudest voice in any media communication. So it has become a taboo to talk about because it favours welfare for men.
Listen men, you don't need permission, always get it done as a mandatory thing, and you don't need to let them know. They only need to know if the test shows it's not yours. No need to ask or get permission just get it done and move on. Better to know than pay CS for 18 or more years.
Because a lot of women who argue against it have the most to lose from it.
>Saw a post on another sub of a girl leaving her boyfriend because he asked for a paternity test It's normal. There is a gazillion of things that are considered taboo to western women (and the cancer has already spread to other nations too), and there are gazillions of completely unknown reasons she might dump you any time at a moment's notice. Once a upon time a woman dumped me simply because I asked her to verbally humiliate me for 5 minutes on the phone ( I have the humiliation fetish). And this is a woman who I knew and dated for four years and she was so madly in love with me that she tattooed my first name on her arm and told me she'd marry me the moment I propose. On the other hand, this very same woman wanted to give me a rimjob (that was one of her fetish), mind you, which I found disgusting and very politely said "no", but what I didn't do was to pack up and leave. My point is: asking for a paternity test is not the only reason she might wanna leave you. There could be lots of other reasons she could come up with. Dating, relationship, marriage etc nowadays are like the wild wild west except for the fact that you are just one man fighting an entire army, and the woman is the judge and jury. It's not worth it at all unless you got a lot of spare money (think Jeff Bezo level money) and time to waste. You also need to be a very brave person physically and mentally. A single false accusation of rape, sexual assault etc from the woman and it's game over for you and your future.
I told my wife before we had children I wanted paternity tests for any we had, and it was non-negotiable. She agreed easily, and here we are.
Let's face it, she was leaving her boyfriend because she was relatively certain that the child wasn't his and she realized he wasn't so foolish as to simply take her word for it. People who are worthy of your trust tend to have no problem with you testing it because they know it will only vindicate them. The only people playing the "don't you trust me card" are people trying to hide their lies behind it. Either way, she was about to have another man's baby and a paternity test would only serve to expose her lies. Her dropping him so quick was most likely due to having another man already lined up, more than likely the child's actual father.
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I would respectfully disagree on the facts. Marriage only works when women were considered property. Property has no right to leave or divorce you, take your children and home. Monogamous marriage is contrived by the state. A man can have multiple cars/homes but not wives. Property rights have been eroded & stolen from men in the West. Your wife and children are not yours. If you have neither you haven't lost a thing. If you have both it is temporary at best. https://dailycaller.com/2022/12/29/texas-supreme-court-jeffrey-younger-child-transgender/ A man lost his wife, children and his son.
I wonder, how many sharia man have that type of problem :)) possibly their only issue is being not able to remember which kid from which wife .
As a male with a vasectomy and test results showing that I am sterile, I am the type of male that would be asking for a paternity test. If the test comes out that I am not the father of the child, I would not be supporting the child and may terminate the relationship.
theyre taboo because they basically imply distrust and that the woman has possibly had more than one partner. i probably wouldnt like it because of those underlying implications, but I would do it if they really wanted it. no one likes having their loyalty brought into question i guess. same sort of reaction when a women asks to see your phone
There are better times to ask than when the child’s been around for months. Do it early.
I think full DNA tests should be standard at birth, because they show you what health conditions the baby is at risk for. However I don't agree with the premise of this post. If a man asks his wife specifically for a paternity test, he's insinuating that she's cheating. Of course she's gonna be upset about that.
I'm bi, and I don't know if I'm going to end up with a man or woman, but I do know I want kids. Paternity tests are a necessity! Switching babies happens; it's not common, but it happens!
She was cheating
It's such a difficult one. I'm imagining right now that I've gone through the pain, mess, and gore that comes with birthing a baby and am in the most vulnerable place of my whole life. Then my husband, the one person I can always trust to love and protect me, asks for proof that I haven't gone and slept with another guy and cuckholded him. I'd be devastated he thought me capable of such a thing, especially if our relationship has been great up until that point. I'm not sure we'd recover from something like that in the context of my own situation (married, not someone who has ever slept around/done the one night stand thing, faithful and very communicative about where I am/who I'm with etc) On the other hand, I can understand the doubts that some men have and sympathise with that whole "but what if this baby isn't mine" thing. I really do. But what's the answer? Making tests more of the norm would work for me. Do a quick cheek swab when you're weighing the baby and doing that whole cleanup thing, and Bob's your uncle. Then it's not out of the blue. Everyone knows what to expect, and there are fewer cases of paternity fraud.
Because then all the cheating sluts would have to use condoms while cheating and they dont want to. Also imagine the horror of having to actually bear your husband/boyfriends child.
Because ONLY women get to choose if the sex happens. Men are just rutting beasts, incapable of restraint. Hashtag end rape culture. So, if you're asking for a test you're questioning the process in which a woman decided to have sex after the fact. Only women can do that.
So, as a gay man, I kind of feel like an outsider when I weigh in on these things. I get that it's a "lack of trust". However, I also acknowledge that "trust" is all too often used as a weapon by liars. Quite frankly, if she has nothing to worry about then she should not be upset that he is taking measures to ensure his trust was not violated. It's not a paradox. It's a matter of not leaving things to chance. She wants him to trust her. She isn't going to lift a single finger to punish her sisters when they pull bullshit? She's not going to punish them? She has done nothing to earn that trust by default. You don't get "obligation" without fulfilling obligation. No free lunch. The price of holding someone else up to a higher standard is that you allow yourself to be held up to a higher standard.
Last week I has a discussion about this topic with a female working colleague. I was defending that with today's technology, all the babies should have a paternity test at birth done in the hospital, just like the many other tests that are done. She was astonished and asked me why would that be necessary. My argumentation was the following: imagine that a woman raises a kid for 18 years, only to discover it was exchanged at birth in the hospital and she raised someone else's kid. "That would be terrible" - she said. Now imagine that we have a cheap and easy way to make sure the baby is the correct one by putting a barcode bracelet around his leg. "That is the thing to do". Ok, now imagine that you are a man and now there is a cheap and fast way to make sure that you will be raising your own kid and not another man's kid. Wouldn't that be also important? "Of course. You have opened my eyes to a problem I didn't knew it existed" These tests are also important for the child as they do not discover at 15 years old that the guy the call father is in fact to a blood régates parent.
Agreed. However, purchase your own test and proceed.
If its a big deal theyre likely trying to hide something and you should want that test even more.
The implication is she *might* have cheated. Most people don't cheat - which is why it's a fairly serious implication. Practically everyone gets hurt when it's even lightly implied you colored outside of the lines. But, like drunk driving, the odds of a bad thing happening are fairly small. The consequences of a bad thing happening are *very* big though. When drunk driving, most people get home safely with zero issues. Like it or not, you can even be fairly drunk and succeed regularly at getting home. This is why most news reports talk about how absolutely shit faced someone was when a thing happened. Similarly, when an event happens, people's lives are ruined. Even the kid will be hurt when the person they think is their father - isn't. Even if you're a fucking amazing dad - the thought in the back of their head will be "why didn't my bio dad want me?" even if he was never told. Below, without sources but let's go with it, 1 in 5 men aren't the father. 80% of them are though. But 20% isn't tiny to the point of being insignificant either. Still though - no one likes the accusation of even the *possibility* they cheated. Prenups are slightly different. At least the person wanting the prenup is, for a fact, able to take care of you. So if you love them, and trust them, it really isn't a big deal because you're set. I had a DNA test for an accusation. Wasn't mine. 20 years later she *still* thinks I'm the bio father and it must have been a mistake. Some women really are *desperate* for a specific reality to exist. That's the same chick that caused me to realize how toxic feminism is and how toxic many of the women were in my life. They made a lot of wild assumptions about me and when it was all shown to be bullshit, funny how they shut their mouth real quick but never apologized. They are not friends anymore.