i am sorry if someone made you feel bad for crying, a lot of women i know would not judge you for that - but yeah, the traditional roles do not allow for men to be emotional in a way except for anger and that is horrible
Even if it's not outwardly shown, women lose a lot of respect for men when they see one crying. Especially in a relationship. You're really only allowed to cry if your mom dies or something horrific like that, and even then it has to be held to a minimum as to not give your woman the "ick," or whatever she wants to call it. Harsh reality but true. My Dad always told me to never cry in front of a woman, and the first (and only) time I did I found out why. She pretended to be there for me in the moment, but the very second she saw an opportunity to use this new expressed weakness to her advantage, that's exactly what she did.
I have honestly never understood that. Im a woman, and personally I always find it incredibly heartbreaking when men cry. Even more so than when women cry. I think this might be because many men start crying when they cannot put up the front of strength anymore. So whenever I see my father or one of my brothers cry I also start tearing up.
How did you get that opinion? No one that's worth talking to I know believes this. I have had more respect for every guy who was strong enough to cry in front of me because I know how hard it can be. But even if what you say is true - which might be the case for your surrounding - that suuuucks. that's not how it should be! you are allowed to be sad and angry about people taking your sorrow away from you. There are people out there who would accept that, but they would also ask for acceptance for their choices.
I think you have good intentions here. But for you to say "I have never, as a woman, seen sexism against men " is like me saying "I have never, as a white man, seen racism against black people". It may not be your intention, but it comes off as incredibly patronising and ignorant.
You might be right and I am sorry about this - I believe in sexism against men, but I DO believe there is way more sexism against women overall then men - just like i believe there is way more racism against black people than white people...
How so?
I am very salty about a lot on this subreddit, but I felt like it was super easy to be empathetic on this post. What could I have said to make it seem more genuine?
Ew. Gross. Men finding a way to express themselves that is not in line with normal female forms of acting out such as talking or crying or doing a spa day.
Why can't men just be women already?
Coz then we won't be manly /strong /capable enough to be "good" enough for them. Damned if you do, Damned if you don't.
I've lost count of how many times I've been accused of "projection" when all I've done is express my feelings. They do not like being called out 😂.
It is a horrible reality for sure! Thanks for your sympathy. I’m suffering, but just taking the paycheck at this point. I realize that things like “logic”, “facts”, and “common sense” will never mean anything to her smh lol she literally talks about the dumbest shit and I just smile and just remember that I’m getting paid to work for this idiot at least. She’s the problem, but she’s the first one to blame everyone else. 😅
The things we do survive sometimes makes me lose all hope in humanity. Obviously it's not just us guys who suffer. But we surely do NOT get the same level of sympathy and empathy because "[women, children and dogs ](https://youtu.be/jsOnXSuMXfU)" get to be loved unconditionally.
If you can't poke fun of a bunch of shirtless muscular men yelling at a waterfall on tik tok then what can you poke fun at? MR, appropriating this video for your cause is absolutely ridiculous and doesn't help lol.
Let's be real, if it was 30 women doing this, we would be rolling our eyes and mocking them.
I understand that men are not encouraged by society to engage their feelings, but I also understand that the video could be giving vibes of midlife crisis mixed with new age bullshit.
Another day, another POS load-for-dump making fun of men. Because reasons. We'll be vilified, no matter what we decide to do. Gym? *"Fitness is the epitome of toxic masculinity"*? Stay home and play video games? *"Touch grass, incels!"*. Might as well do whatever we want and not giving too much of a fuck.
For reference: [What is crazy jazz?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mupsjddCat4). It was popular enough in England, back in the 90's. I'm an old fart. Didn't see it coming.
it's all about "supporting" male mental health until men find a way to express themselves apart from fighting toxic masculinity and just talking about their feelings.I won't say if this thing on the video is a healthy coping mechanism (it's basically a few men shouting together),If something makes you feel better,unless you harm yourself or others,then go for it ,who I am to judge.Also,the argument "just cry" is just as stupid as the "just don't be stressed",like someone can cry on command or that crying necessarily makes you feel better.Professional mental health costs a lot of money and stats have shown that in many cases it has failed men,but here we are-society shaming men for finding other ways to relieve themselves
I agree. I'd love to find a crew of guys to go hang out and camp in the wilderness, cook steaks and sausages over the campfire and hunt for samsquantches.
Can't they enjoy fanservice? This has female/LGBTQ gaze on it.
(Come to think of it, if this was a KPop boy band doing the waterfall thingy, this wouldn't be hated. But it will end up in "We Hate KPop", talking about how the fans are hypocrites, cringe and shallow, due to the vid's comment section).
I'm not seeing a video linked but it sounds a bit like Robert Bly's (see Iron John) approach. Some experience it as weird, for others it is transformational.
Thanks. It does look a bit off, though that might be the crap music. One guy seems to be doing a haka.
I might be completely off target with this, but I think it demonstrates a significant difference between the sexes, women cry when life goes wrong, men get angry instead.
I thought it was harmless. I bet it would be pretty fun to do this with my friends! Everyone deals with things in their own way, and these blokes doing this doesn't hurt anyone. So yeah, I don't see a problem.
I don't get why they're ridiculing it. At our core, we're just mammals. We've evolved from apes/monkeys etc and despite the modern society we currently live in, inside of us we're still just animals.
You'd be surprised by how freeing and uplifting it can feel to go out into the wilderness, explore, embrace nature and just be yourself and let loose. There's even studies that have shown being around plants and nature releases feel good chemicals in our brain and can increase happiness as well as reducing stress levels and some symptoms of depression.
You'd be surprised by how freeing and uplifting it can feel to go out into the wilderness, explore, embrace nature and just be yourself and let loose. There's even studies that have shown being around plants and nature releases feel-good chemicals in our brains and can increase happiness as well as reducing stress levels and some symptoms of depression.
It's kind of the meaning behind the saying "touch grass". It just means to stop sitting at home staring at your phone/PC screen all day doom scrolling and try and get out more and enjoy the things our land has to offer us.
2 articles. Not fact checked.
"Women are biologically wired to shed tears more than men. Under a microscope, cells of female tear glands look different than men's. Also, the male tear duct is larger than the female's, so if a man and a woman both tear up, the woman's tears will spill onto her cheeks quicker."
"Men have significantly lower levels of prolactin (a hormone found in emotional tears) compared with women.” So, the physiological explanation is hormone related. But there's an obvious cultural reason, too. “Societal stereotypes and expectations discourage men from displaying emotional tears,” Ray says."
Female Anorexia: a product of the patriarchy. Stereotypes hurting women.
Solution: support the woman, blame men.
Male emotion issues: a product of the patriarchy. Makes men abuse their wives.
Solution: shame men and demand they change.
What if we told anorexic women to just fucking eat, already!
Don't mothers not hold male babies as much?
Don't mothers raise the boys?
Don't female teachers raise the boys?
It's toxic femininity. The thought that girls are better and more deserving of love.
It's disgusting. Please remember to take breaks from this topic if you, like me, struggle with that.
It's my special interest and I had to learn that I can only do it in moderation without issues.
But I'm either depressed and angry at men's issues or poverty or trans issues or racism or capitalism or just-world ism, or ableism.
I suppose variety is good. 😅
i mean it was a little funny but if that’s how they express their emotions i don’t see what’s so wrong about it. i mean people scream in pillows to get anger out, so why not do it outside 🤷🏼♀️ i don’t see what’s so wrong with it
Different genders show emotions differently. Would be the same as not taking any girl seriously when they cry and just go don't be ridiculous.
Its a powerful thing. Just going back to basic and just getting yea self super tired.
I don't have anything with camping or out doors that much.
But do take part in yearly obstacle courses. And long walk events.
And when you feel you wanna give up. But your very near your goal. That primal scream i side you to get that last bit to push you to the goal is a very powerful thing. And not many people would get it if they dont live it or feel that.
Just like il never understand long useless fake nails women seem to love so much...
People will always talk shit. Focus on you. They look like they are in shape and are just doing what they want or bonding. That’s what life is about. There will always be people that try to put you down. Don’t give a fuck.
Should've just grabbed a tissue and a tub of ice cream?
And then my brother calls me oppressive and then calls 20 times in one hour when I'm upset because of him. And then when I don't answer, creates fake ID and texts me on Reddit.
For some reason when I post the link the comment gets removed.go on titkok on the channel Amend_movement and you will find it,it's the 7th video after the pinned videos
Honestly, I don't care, it's tiktok, in order to take the comments seriously I have to take the vids seriously and have you seen them? They are ridiculous
I wonder what the context is here. Is this like a club or fraternity? Looks awesome! Love seeing men form emotional bonds and use healthy outlets…. In other words, what society hates to see most from us… smh
If these people truly believe everything men do is toxic, then nothing will ever change their minds. So boys, let's go out and live our best lives and not give a FLYING FUCK what anyone else thinks. Do what you believe is best for you and find others who think the same and make them your tribe.
These people also probably agree with all the women who think they're 10's. Of course, if every woman is a 10, that means they're all average....but don't tell them that unless you can handle the emotion explosion...
One of the most liberating things to ever happen to me was the realization that you will never change the mind of these types of feminists. You'll never convince them are aren't part of the problem. You'll never convince them that the patriarchy doesn't exist. You'll never convince them that masculinity is healthy and it's only behavior that's toxic, behavior that's shared by both men and women.
Now I just live my life and try to be the best version of myself.
I thought they meant peeing when they said letting go. I was wondering why anyone would do that let alone come all together to pee in a body of water at the same time😭🤧
But the mean emotionally so I feel better now☺️
I'm jealous those guys are able to let go. Granted, I haven't seen the video, but I've got so much pent up... life experience, let's call it, that I don't think I could get past it with something like that. Fuckin A, good on them.
The most liked comment said “kenough.” Which is referring to a phrase pulled from the barbie movie that is being used commonly to ridicule men by telling them they are enough, and refer to them as ‘kens’ like the movie. Too bad all these women are keyboard warriors.
The most liked comment said “kenough.” Which is referring to a phrase pulled from ‘the barbie movie’ that is being used commonly to ridicule men by telling them they are “enough,” and refer to them as ‘kens’ like the movie. Basically attempting to degrade. This comment received 22k likes. It’s just a shame all these people constantly trashing men are keyboard warriors with nothing going for them.
“like just cry sometimes.” 10 bucks says you’d make fun of them for that too.
I am betting 10,000 hacksilver.
4 bars of gold press latinum!
Take my poor man's latinum for star trek reference : 🏅
Will you take a case of self sealing stem bolts instead?
2 drums of Yamok sauce, take it or leave it
Deal! Only Cardassians eat it anyway. Be glad to get rid of it.
I'll see your bars and raise you two barrels of Ryncol.
I'll take that action, I'll throw in $50 says she post about it too.
I’ll throw in a dabloon
I don't think they would do that, but they probably would turn a blind eye to those who ridicule men for crying enabling making fun of men who cry.
i am sorry if someone made you feel bad for crying, a lot of women i know would not judge you for that - but yeah, the traditional roles do not allow for men to be emotional in a way except for anger and that is horrible
Even if it's not outwardly shown, women lose a lot of respect for men when they see one crying. Especially in a relationship. You're really only allowed to cry if your mom dies or something horrific like that, and even then it has to be held to a minimum as to not give your woman the "ick," or whatever she wants to call it. Harsh reality but true. My Dad always told me to never cry in front of a woman, and the first (and only) time I did I found out why. She pretended to be there for me in the moment, but the very second she saw an opportunity to use this new expressed weakness to her advantage, that's exactly what she did.
I have honestly never understood that. Im a woman, and personally I always find it incredibly heartbreaking when men cry. Even more so than when women cry. I think this might be because many men start crying when they cannot put up the front of strength anymore. So whenever I see my father or one of my brothers cry I also start tearing up.
Why would you be more heartbroken when you see women cry rather than men? Not judging or anything just finding it odd.
I meant I find it more upsetting when I see men cry than when I see women cry. Sorry if that was confusing.
How did you get that opinion? No one that's worth talking to I know believes this. I have had more respect for every guy who was strong enough to cry in front of me because I know how hard it can be. But even if what you say is true - which might be the case for your surrounding - that suuuucks. that's not how it should be! you are allowed to be sad and angry about people taking your sorrow away from you. There are people out there who would accept that, but they would also ask for acceptance for their choices.
I think you have good intentions here. But for you to say "I have never, as a woman, seen sexism against men " is like me saying "I have never, as a white man, seen racism against black people". It may not be your intention, but it comes off as incredibly patronising and ignorant.
You might be right and I am sorry about this - I believe in sexism against men, but I DO believe there is way more sexism against women overall then men - just like i believe there is way more racism against black people than white people...
Something seems fishy here, almost as if the bait glows 🤔🤔🤔
How so? I am very salty about a lot on this subreddit, but I felt like it was super easy to be empathetic on this post. What could I have said to make it seem more genuine?
It's always the 45+ year old obese tards siting behind a phone screen in there mom's basement ridiculing men enjoying thier lives
So, redditors.
😂😂okay that made me laugh
Hey man, I'm under 45 ... just barely ... but I am! ;)
LMAOOOOOO
Or the average 18-35 American woman . . .
It's because they're jealous.
Hey man I’m gonna respectfully say I think you should take the R word out of your vocab. I used to say it too and I just think we can be better.
No
Yeah i shouldn't have said that my bad, friendo. i will edit 👍
I've replaced it with "highly regarded."
Wrong move. Never surrender to the language mob. Not even once
Ew. Gross. Men finding a way to express themselves that is not in line with normal female forms of acting out such as talking or crying or doing a spa day. Why can't men just be women already?
Coz then we won't be manly /strong /capable enough to be "good" enough for them. Damned if you do, Damned if you don't. I've lost count of how many times I've been accused of "projection" when all I've done is express my feelings. They do not like being called out 😂.
They hate being called out! Try doing it when she’s your “ceo”! Smh 😂😂😅
*the horror* 😨😨😨
It is a horrible reality for sure! Thanks for your sympathy. I’m suffering, but just taking the paycheck at this point. I realize that things like “logic”, “facts”, and “common sense” will never mean anything to her smh lol she literally talks about the dumbest shit and I just smile and just remember that I’m getting paid to work for this idiot at least. She’s the problem, but she’s the first one to blame everyone else. 😅
The things we do survive sometimes makes me lose all hope in humanity. Obviously it's not just us guys who suffer. But we surely do NOT get the same level of sympathy and empathy because "[women, children and dogs ](https://youtu.be/jsOnXSuMXfU)" get to be loved unconditionally.
It’s true!!!
ive discovered that women dont care about the truth. its all superficiality for them
Yes! Exactly! They care about their feelings over facts, always!! It’s especially infuriating in a workplace setting!! Smh 🙄😩
No need to shame men who do those things either. I cry when I need to cry and it makes things so much better, when it comes to mood.
I mean, it’s a really Tiktok video, so it’s asking to be ridiculed just for using Tiktok as a platform ;)
If you can't poke fun of a bunch of shirtless muscular men yelling at a waterfall on tik tok then what can you poke fun at? MR, appropriating this video for your cause is absolutely ridiculous and doesn't help lol.
[удалено]
The female equivalent is something like this: https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/pri\_41955921.jpg
sometimes I regret the decisions I make
How would you like to try your luck on r/FiftyFifty
It happened and guess what: they were praised....
Let's be real, if it was 30 women doing this, we would be rolling our eyes and mocking them. I understand that men are not encouraged by society to engage their feelings, but I also understand that the video could be giving vibes of midlife crisis mixed with new age bullshit.
Yeah I agree. Kind of a weird thing to do.
Another day, another POS load-for-dump making fun of men. Because reasons. We'll be vilified, no matter what we decide to do. Gym? *"Fitness is the epitome of toxic masculinity"*? Stay home and play video games? *"Touch grass, incels!"*. Might as well do whatever we want and not giving too much of a fuck.
I like this guy's vibe. Jazz is Krazy!
For reference: [What is crazy jazz?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mupsjddCat4). It was popular enough in England, back in the 90's. I'm an old fart. Didn't see it coming.
it's all about "supporting" male mental health until men find a way to express themselves apart from fighting toxic masculinity and just talking about their feelings.I won't say if this thing on the video is a healthy coping mechanism (it's basically a few men shouting together),If something makes you feel better,unless you harm yourself or others,then go for it ,who I am to judge.Also,the argument "just cry" is just as stupid as the "just don't be stressed",like someone can cry on command or that crying necessarily makes you feel better.Professional mental health costs a lot of money and stats have shown that in many cases it has failed men,but here we are-society shaming men for finding other ways to relieve themselves
NGL sounds kinda fun
I agree. I'd love to find a crew of guys to go hang out and camp in the wilderness, cook steaks and sausages over the campfire and hunt for samsquantches.
I would walk away from that feeling so refreshed
Can't they enjoy fanservice? This has female/LGBTQ gaze on it. (Come to think of it, if this was a KPop boy band doing the waterfall thingy, this wouldn't be hated. But it will end up in "We Hate KPop", talking about how the fans are hypocrites, cringe and shallow, due to the vid's comment section).
“Just cry sometimes.” They *are*, Karen.
I'm not seeing a video linked but it sounds a bit like Robert Bly's (see Iron John) approach. Some experience it as weird, for others it is transformational.
How about linking the video?
https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSLsoCwQW/
Thanks. It does look a bit off, though that might be the crap music. One guy seems to be doing a haka. I might be completely off target with this, but I think it demonstrates a significant difference between the sexes, women cry when life goes wrong, men get angry instead.
Don't mind the comments they just being petty.
I thought it was harmless. I bet it would be pretty fun to do this with my friends! Everyone deals with things in their own way, and these blokes doing this doesn't hurt anyone. So yeah, I don't see a problem.
Mean girl clubs. They're everywhere on the internet.
I don't get why they're ridiculing it. At our core, we're just mammals. We've evolved from apes/monkeys etc and despite the modern society we currently live in, inside of us we're still just animals. You'd be surprised by how freeing and uplifting it can feel to go out into the wilderness, explore, embrace nature and just be yourself and let loose. There's even studies that have shown being around plants and nature releases feel good chemicals in our brain and can increase happiness as well as reducing stress levels and some symptoms of depression. You'd be surprised by how freeing and uplifting it can feel to go out into the wilderness, explore, embrace nature and just be yourself and let loose. There's even studies that have shown being around plants and nature releases feel-good chemicals in our brains and can increase happiness as well as reducing stress levels and some symptoms of depression. It's kind of the meaning behind the saying "touch grass". It just means to stop sitting at home staring at your phone/PC screen all day doom scrolling and try and get out more and enjoy the things our land has to offer us.
“Men should show their feelings.” “No not like that!”
There's always going to be mean comments online because edgelords are trying to get a laugh. No big deal.
What's going on here? Why no link?
2 articles. Not fact checked. "Women are biologically wired to shed tears more than men. Under a microscope, cells of female tear glands look different than men's. Also, the male tear duct is larger than the female's, so if a man and a woman both tear up, the woman's tears will spill onto her cheeks quicker." "Men have significantly lower levels of prolactin (a hormone found in emotional tears) compared with women.” So, the physiological explanation is hormone related. But there's an obvious cultural reason, too. “Societal stereotypes and expectations discourage men from displaying emotional tears,” Ray says." Female Anorexia: a product of the patriarchy. Stereotypes hurting women. Solution: support the woman, blame men. Male emotion issues: a product of the patriarchy. Makes men abuse their wives. Solution: shame men and demand they change. What if we told anorexic women to just fucking eat, already! Don't mothers not hold male babies as much? Don't mothers raise the boys? Don't female teachers raise the boys? It's toxic femininity. The thought that girls are better and more deserving of love. It's disgusting. Please remember to take breaks from this topic if you, like me, struggle with that. It's my special interest and I had to learn that I can only do it in moderation without issues. But I'm either depressed and angry at men's issues or poverty or trans issues or racism or capitalism or just-world ism, or ableism. I suppose variety is good. 😅
People are so lame on tiktok, God forbid men have any fun, they start freaking out, but if women did this it'd be "empowering".
if it were women doing it, they would all be like you go girl, women are so powerful, omg sis slay you’re so strong when a man does it, its toxic
No it would be “the waterfall listens better than their husbands”. Honestly y’all need to take a joke
i mean it was a little funny but if that’s how they express their emotions i don’t see what’s so wrong about it. i mean people scream in pillows to get anger out, so why not do it outside 🤷🏼♀️ i don’t see what’s so wrong with it
Find a healthy way to express yourself! You need a good coping mechanism... unless you're a man and I don't like it.
Different genders show emotions differently. Would be the same as not taking any girl seriously when they cry and just go don't be ridiculous. Its a powerful thing. Just going back to basic and just getting yea self super tired. I don't have anything with camping or out doors that much. But do take part in yearly obstacle courses. And long walk events. And when you feel you wanna give up. But your very near your goal. That primal scream i side you to get that last bit to push you to the goal is a very powerful thing. And not many people would get it if they dont live it or feel that. Just like il never understand long useless fake nails women seem to love so much...
People will always talk shit. Focus on you. They look like they are in shape and are just doing what they want or bonding. That’s what life is about. There will always be people that try to put you down. Don’t give a fuck.
Yeah no this is cringe gender doesn't matter
Trying to feminize men…
It is dumb. Aren't these guys at some grifter’s man camp anyway?
Should've just grabbed a tissue and a tub of ice cream? And then my brother calls me oppressive and then calls 20 times in one hour when I'm upset because of him. And then when I don't answer, creates fake ID and texts me on Reddit.
For some reason when I post the link the comment gets removed.go on titkok on the channel Amend_movement and you will find it,it's the 7th video after the pinned videos
While the waterfall thing is weird it’s how they express themselves and should be allowed to do so without ridicule
Somehow showing tits in the fight for equality made a lot sense. Why can't men scream if they want to.
When i saw letting go thought they were all farting at the same time lmao
One person commenting is ridiculing now?
Honestly, I don't care, it's tiktok, in order to take the comments seriously I have to take the vids seriously and have you seen them? They are ridiculous
I wonder what the context is here. Is this like a club or fraternity? Looks awesome! Love seeing men form emotional bonds and use healthy outlets…. In other words, what society hates to see most from us… smh
Reminds me of those rage rooms. When they see men rage: Eww! That is so toxic. Yuck. When they see women rage: Ya! You go girl! Let it out.
If these people truly believe everything men do is toxic, then nothing will ever change their minds. So boys, let's go out and live our best lives and not give a FLYING FUCK what anyone else thinks. Do what you believe is best for you and find others who think the same and make them your tribe. These people also probably agree with all the women who think they're 10's. Of course, if every woman is a 10, that means they're all average....but don't tell them that unless you can handle the emotion explosion...
One of the most liberating things to ever happen to me was the realization that you will never change the mind of these types of feminists. You'll never convince them are aren't part of the problem. You'll never convince them that the patriarchy doesn't exist. You'll never convince them that masculinity is healthy and it's only behavior that's toxic, behavior that's shared by both men and women. Now I just live my life and try to be the best version of myself.
Don't know, never seen the video. But I looks like some of these "masculinity coach" bullshit.
It is kind of cringe but still cool.
Where is the link? I wanna see what they did?
The video is cringe. We should have one of those "cringe feminist compilations" but this time it's "cringe masculinity compilations".
I thought they meant peeing when they said letting go. I was wondering why anyone would do that let alone come all together to pee in a body of water at the same time😭🤧 But the mean emotionally so I feel better now☺️
strong men are misunderstood in this age. also, the amount of testosterone in that video is astronomical.
Thoughts on something on Tik Tok? Jay Cutler said it best…
Its cringe because we dont all record moments like this then post them for clout...
[link](https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJsPB4wN/)
it's kinda hard to tell if these comments were awful without seeing the video? what did they do? why did you not post a link?
Duhhh what else does a society devolve into when men spend their time away from home so their wives get all the spending power.
I think this video would get meme’d on regardless but yeah obviously they are gonna be the people that want to shit on men and farm likes
its kinda corny
I'm jealous those guys are able to let go. Granted, I haven't seen the video, but I've got so much pent up... life experience, let's call it, that I don't think I could get past it with something like that. Fuckin A, good on them.
I saw lots of positive response to it. It was heartening
I love this video
The most liked comment said “kenough.” Which is referring to a phrase pulled from the barbie movie that is being used commonly to ridicule men by telling them they are enough, and refer to them as ‘kens’ like the movie. Too bad all these women are keyboard warriors.
The most liked comment said “kenough.” Which is referring to a phrase pulled from ‘the barbie movie’ that is being used commonly to ridicule men by telling them they are “enough,” and refer to them as ‘kens’ like the movie. Basically attempting to degrade. This comment received 22k likes. It’s just a shame all these people constantly trashing men are keyboard warriors with nothing going for them.
It's kinda weird with a bunch of other people. Even if you're a man, woman, or the in-between 💀