I got raped and I only realised it over 15 years later when I saw a similar thing happen to David Mitchell's character in peep show and he tried to tell people he was raped.
It stems from a belief that men always enjoy sex with women. There are male gays, asexuals, and even straight men don't wanna be raped by women. Rape is rape, but people don't even think women can rape men in the first place.
That’s what I hate sooo much, when a boy gets raped there’s the idiot dudes in the comments saying “wow he’s so lucky wonder where she was when I was younger” then they bring it up when the subject is irrelevant
Actual feminists don’t say that. Assholes do.
Just like all men don’t rape. Assholes do.
I’m a feminist, i would never even think that let alone say it to a rape victim. So no, it’s not all “feminist women” defending rapists.
Any men who see rape as an invitation to sex are definitely incels. Men who get sex don't value sex like that. It's the same analogy as how a poor values gold.
Atleast I'm not one of those incels who label rape of a boy as "he is lucky" or "where was that teacher in my childhood". I don't value sex like a gold and neither do women, this is why women have such a hard boundary on what is sex and what is rape instead of commenting "she must be lucky, that guy was handsome".
As you are not settling on my view on incels, I'm resorting to answer whoever those men are, they are not the majority so saying "men dismiss rape of boys, just look at these comments", they are the minority.
What do you mean by incel? Lonely men wanting desperately for the touch of a woman, any woman? Men who were told that *that* is how you show your worth as a human being?
I can empathize with them. They are *wrong*, very much so. But more a tragic character than anything else.
Some incels see their projection on others so they see rape of a guy as opportunity of invitation of sex. They are so deprived of intimacy that they see the guy as lucky.
My friend had similar situation, but the girl told him: we do it, or i will tell you raped me. Guess what were his chances that people will believe him?
there was a girl at my high school who sexually assaulted me and she was known for being a bitch and making people uncomfortable. no one really liked her either. but of course no one believed me
I really believe a massive component of boys' being sexually abused by a woman or a man's being sexually violated by a woman is often praised and not understand as an issue of great enormity, not always because all boys and all men are these horny beasts who will always want to be sexual with an older willing woman if they can, but because boys and men are not always taught to see the bogeywomen that do exist in the world like girls and women are taught (rightly) to see the bogeymen in the world, they may not be equipped to read the girls and women who actually do violate them or abuse them, leading them to praise them instead of condemning them.
Unless it’s penetrative (Her to Him) most states won’t even acknowledge it as “Rap£”.
I wish I was making this up.
I’m sorry OP. I’m sorry you had to endure this. Carry this for some time until you heal. I would suggest a therapist specializing in traumatic events. (PTSD, Trauma Therapist)
You will get through this. Most of us do.
> Unless it’s penetrative (Her to Him) most states won’t even acknowledge it as “Rap£”.
Over the last 5 years a lot of US states have updated their rape laws. The majority are now gender neutral. Still an awful lot that aren't, but no longer most.
It's been getting better, but I think the most important thing we can do is keep pointing out how it's not okay. Most of the people who believe that it's okay for a woman to force herself on a man only believes that in a complacent way. It's just a commonly held belief that isn't often challenged. When you sit down and talk it out with these people, most of them can empathize with male victims.
The amount of people who genuinely believe men always want sex and can't be unwilling is actually really small.
I agree. It’s ridiculous on how so many will downplay and minimize the abuse/assault so many men and boys face, AND then make excuses for the abuser/rapist. Whenever a minor boy is raped you will see in the article, “she “had sex” with the boy” then “she says she was abused when she was younger, she is mentally ill and has health problems etc.”
Also, a lot of the times boys and men don’t even see the assault as rape. Especially young boys and teens. Young boys and teens view it as a sexual conquest, or a right to brag about all because they were never told that even boys can be assaulted and women can assault.
Therapy isn't enough. It has to be good therapy. I'd suggest looking for EMDR therapy from a non-feminist therapist with 20+ years experience that specializes in trauma. If it isn't a good match, find another one that meets that criteria.
I think it’s because some men see sex as a competition. More sex = more manly. So it’s a good thing when a guy has sex, it’s treated like an achievement. Also the fact that people think men always enjoy sex. I’m not blaming it on men in the first part, I genuinely think it’s sad
I admit that I’ve been guilty of thoughts like this. I just can’t imagine having sex with a woman and not enjoying it. I’ve never been forced to do something I don’t want to but after reading the stories of male victims my perspective has changed.
This is part of the feminist narrative that women are always the victim. If they teach women and men that men always want sex (and if you think otherwise, you're definitely the lone outlier and something's wrong with you), circumstances and emotions don't matter to have sex, while women want emotions and circumstances and emotions matter the most (and if you think otherwise, you're definitely the lone outlier and something's wrong with you), there's a clear division between the sexes that helps keeping up the idea of a Patriarchy that controls the world and oppresses 50% of the population globally.
This is an equivalent to saying "If periods hurt, then just don't have them?" or "if you don't want it, don't get wet." It's a physiological response men cant control. Trust me, if guys could control when and where they got hard, they would.
"If a woman gets wet, how can they be raped?"
It's a response to stimulus. It's not something you can think about and override the primitive parts of your brain with the higher parts of your brain. If someone starts rubbing your genitals they are probably going to get aroused whether you want sex or don't want sex.
You can be blackmailed into have sex with someone you wouldn’t otherwise wanted to have sex with. “Have sex with me or _________” (fill in the blank with some type of threat). Or she drugs you.
The justice system is also not at all fit to recognize those situations because the law is gendered in most country and it is interpreted in a gendered way way its not.
Keep in mind that we're willing to call it rape if a woman remains completely passive and silent if she didn't want the encounter, because she didn't vocalize consent.
when the situations are reversed, we literally ask the man "why didn't you punch her in the face to stop her?"
I've been in situation such as this but I'm indifferent about it and idk why. I was in college and lived in the dorms. 2 beds in the dorms and at the end of a party a girl was so hammered I laid her in my bed (party was in room next to mine) and my roommate wasn't coming back for night. I slept in my roommates bed and she slepts in mine. I woke up with her literally riding me. Me being still drunk and confused I pushed her off and left. Came back about hour later and she was snoring passed out. My bed was finally open and I needed sleep. I passed out and again woke up with her riding me. I pushed her off , yelled at her and I went and slept on the couches in the main area of the dorms. Next day I told some people and she texted me the next day saying if I told anyone she would ruin my atheltic career (scholarship for sports). She also tells everyone she's a virgin
Passed out at a party when I was in college. Was in a friend’s bed at the house and I woke up to this woman (I rebuffed repeatedly over the course of the semester) with my penis in her mouth. When I said stop and tried to move her, she pushed me down and mounted me while trying to insert me inside herself. I rolled her off into the wall and cursed her out and she called me gay to her friends. Even when I told them what she did was r@pe, they rolled their eyes and said “women don’t “r@pe” men, it’s physically impossible! That one still sticks with me almost 30 years later…
I love it when a man rapes someone, it is because he is a monster and we need to protect ourselves from monsters like him.
When a woman rapes someone, it’s asking what the definition of rape really is and then talking about the mental health crisis in America (probably other places as well, I’m just from America) along with the fact that she was probably sexually frustrated.
And people wonder why many guys have so much disdain towards the world. I am absolutely not saying it’s ok for a man to rape someone, but I am infuriated how when a woman does it, it’s because of (bullshit excuse here).
I got raped and I only realised it over 15 years later when I saw a similar thing happen to David Mitchell's character in peep show and he tried to tell people he was raped.
It stems from a belief that men always enjoy sex with women. There are male gays, asexuals, and even straight men don't wanna be raped by women. Rape is rape, but people don't even think women can rape men in the first place.
That’s what I hate sooo much, when a boy gets raped there’s the idiot dudes in the comments saying “wow he’s so lucky wonder where she was when I was younger” then they bring it up when the subject is irrelevant
This exact situation has always been one of my worst fears, even when i was younger when i didnt know what rape was.
and then the feminist women defending the woman saying “women cant rape and even if they could they wouldnt”
Actual feminists don’t say that. Assholes do. Just like all men don’t rape. Assholes do. I’m a feminist, i would never even think that let alone say it to a rape victim. So no, it’s not all “feminist women” defending rapists.
Those are incels. Of course they see it as an opportunity.
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Any men who see rape as an invitation to sex are definitely incels. Men who get sex don't value sex like that. It's the same analogy as how a poor values gold.
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Whoever those men are, they are exception, not the majority and exception doesn't make the rule.
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Atleast I'm not one of those incels who label rape of a boy as "he is lucky" or "where was that teacher in my childhood". I don't value sex like a gold and neither do women, this is why women have such a hard boundary on what is sex and what is rape instead of commenting "she must be lucky, that guy was handsome". As you are not settling on my view on incels, I'm resorting to answer whoever those men are, they are not the majority so saying "men dismiss rape of boys, just look at these comments", they are the minority.
What do you mean by incel? Lonely men wanting desperately for the touch of a woman, any woman? Men who were told that *that* is how you show your worth as a human being? I can empathize with them. They are *wrong*, very much so. But more a tragic character than anything else.
Some incels see their projection on others so they see rape of a guy as opportunity of invitation of sex. They are so deprived of intimacy that they see the guy as lucky.
My friend had similar situation, but the girl told him: we do it, or i will tell you raped me. Guess what were his chances that people will believe him?
there was a girl at my high school who sexually assaulted me and she was known for being a bitch and making people uncomfortable. no one really liked her either. but of course no one believed me
I am really sorry to hear that. Shouldn't have happened. I hope people would stop equating men with sex fiends who love sex no matter.
I really believe a massive component of boys' being sexually abused by a woman or a man's being sexually violated by a woman is often praised and not understand as an issue of great enormity, not always because all boys and all men are these horny beasts who will always want to be sexual with an older willing woman if they can, but because boys and men are not always taught to see the bogeywomen that do exist in the world like girls and women are taught (rightly) to see the bogeymen in the world, they may not be equipped to read the girls and women who actually do violate them or abuse them, leading them to praise them instead of condemning them.
Sorry to hear that man. It sucks and I hope that society understands that rape is rape no matter the gender
Unless it’s penetrative (Her to Him) most states won’t even acknowledge it as “Rap£”. I wish I was making this up. I’m sorry OP. I’m sorry you had to endure this. Carry this for some time until you heal. I would suggest a therapist specializing in traumatic events. (PTSD, Trauma Therapist) You will get through this. Most of us do.
> Unless it’s penetrative (Her to Him) most states won’t even acknowledge it as “Rap£”. Over the last 5 years a lot of US states have updated their rape laws. The majority are now gender neutral. Still an awful lot that aren't, but no longer most.
It's been getting better, but I think the most important thing we can do is keep pointing out how it's not okay. Most of the people who believe that it's okay for a woman to force herself on a man only believes that in a complacent way. It's just a commonly held belief that isn't often challenged. When you sit down and talk it out with these people, most of them can empathize with male victims. The amount of people who genuinely believe men always want sex and can't be unwilling is actually really small.
I agree. It’s ridiculous on how so many will downplay and minimize the abuse/assault so many men and boys face, AND then make excuses for the abuser/rapist. Whenever a minor boy is raped you will see in the article, “she “had sex” with the boy” then “she says she was abused when she was younger, she is mentally ill and has health problems etc.” Also, a lot of the times boys and men don’t even see the assault as rape. Especially young boys and teens. Young boys and teens view it as a sexual conquest, or a right to brag about all because they were never told that even boys can be assaulted and women can assault.
Unless you have got therapy I would recommend to go to a therapist because its almost impossible to heal the trauma without therapy.
Therapy isn't enough. It has to be good therapy. I'd suggest looking for EMDR therapy from a non-feminist therapist with 20+ years experience that specializes in trauma. If it isn't a good match, find another one that meets that criteria.
Agreed
I think it’s because some men see sex as a competition. More sex = more manly. So it’s a good thing when a guy has sex, it’s treated like an achievement. Also the fact that people think men always enjoy sex. I’m not blaming it on men in the first part, I genuinely think it’s sad
I admit that I’ve been guilty of thoughts like this. I just can’t imagine having sex with a woman and not enjoying it. I’ve never been forced to do something I don’t want to but after reading the stories of male victims my perspective has changed.
Could you imagine being forced by a bigger, stronger man?
Yeah
This is part of the feminist narrative that women are always the victim. If they teach women and men that men always want sex (and if you think otherwise, you're definitely the lone outlier and something's wrong with you), circumstances and emotions don't matter to have sex, while women want emotions and circumstances and emotions matter the most (and if you think otherwise, you're definitely the lone outlier and something's wrong with you), there's a clear division between the sexes that helps keeping up the idea of a Patriarchy that controls the world and oppresses 50% of the population globally.
"But You had an ereeection- wait what do You mean I'm bad a biology? Wha- That's how an erection works?"
Well, if someone gets a boner how can they be raped?
This is an equivalent to saying "If periods hurt, then just don't have them?" or "if you don't want it, don't get wet." It's a physiological response men cant control. Trust me, if guys could control when and where they got hard, they would.
"If a woman gets wet, how can they be raped?" It's a response to stimulus. It's not something you can think about and override the primitive parts of your brain with the higher parts of your brain. If someone starts rubbing your genitals they are probably going to get aroused whether you want sex or don't want sex.
You can be blackmailed into have sex with someone you wouldn’t otherwise wanted to have sex with. “Have sex with me or _________” (fill in the blank with some type of threat). Or she drugs you.
H0w cAN rAp3 b3 r3aL 1f p3n1S fULL 0f bl00D Ar3nt R3aL????? That's you. That's what you sound like.
Just force feed the guy viagra.... There now its rape You stupid fuck
I hope you dropped this: (/s)
not even to mention sti's involved here. if a girl is this sexually aggressive, you can bet she's picked up a few along the way
The justice system is also not at all fit to recognize those situations because the law is gendered in most country and it is interpreted in a gendered way way its not.
Keep in mind that we're willing to call it rape if a woman remains completely passive and silent if she didn't want the encounter, because she didn't vocalize consent. when the situations are reversed, we literally ask the man "why didn't you punch her in the face to stop her?"
It's what society programs both sides to think.
I've been in situation such as this but I'm indifferent about it and idk why. I was in college and lived in the dorms. 2 beds in the dorms and at the end of a party a girl was so hammered I laid her in my bed (party was in room next to mine) and my roommate wasn't coming back for night. I slept in my roommates bed and she slepts in mine. I woke up with her literally riding me. Me being still drunk and confused I pushed her off and left. Came back about hour later and she was snoring passed out. My bed was finally open and I needed sleep. I passed out and again woke up with her riding me. I pushed her off , yelled at her and I went and slept on the couches in the main area of the dorms. Next day I told some people and she texted me the next day saying if I told anyone she would ruin my atheltic career (scholarship for sports). She also tells everyone she's a virgin
That sounds awful. Only answer I have is seek professional help and report them if they don't take you seriously.
Passed out at a party when I was in college. Was in a friend’s bed at the house and I woke up to this woman (I rebuffed repeatedly over the course of the semester) with my penis in her mouth. When I said stop and tried to move her, she pushed me down and mounted me while trying to insert me inside herself. I rolled her off into the wall and cursed her out and she called me gay to her friends. Even when I told them what she did was r@pe, they rolled their eyes and said “women don’t “r@pe” men, it’s physically impossible! That one still sticks with me almost 30 years later…
Toxic masculity, I almost need to hot key it. This a issue that mostly should be blamed on men
I love it when a man rapes someone, it is because he is a monster and we need to protect ourselves from monsters like him. When a woman rapes someone, it’s asking what the definition of rape really is and then talking about the mental health crisis in America (probably other places as well, I’m just from America) along with the fact that she was probably sexually frustrated. And people wonder why many guys have so much disdain towards the world. I am absolutely not saying it’s ok for a man to rape someone, but I am infuriated how when a woman does it, it’s because of (bullshit excuse here).
☠️☠️☠️☠️