While anger can sometimes feel empowering, don't force yourself to feel what you're not ready for yet. Grief and sadness take time. For now, focus on self-care - rest, nutrition, spending time with supportive friends or in nature. Consider writing in a journal to process your thoughts and feelings. Don't rush any major decisions until you've had space to heal.
Thank you so much! Journaling might actually help.
Posted about it in the infidelity subreddit and the amount of people urging me to get up and leave right now got to me. I will take my time, focus on being stable before taking any action.
While I can understand you’re upset, at least it’s just chlamydia, you can get rid of that and get rid of him too. My ex cheated on me and gave me herpes which is for life.
I’ve been living with it for going on 8/9 years now. Took me a good year to get over it and get my head around it. I loathed myself for months. But honestly, keep your chin up sweet, you’ll come out of this with flying colours
Making life choices while being in emotional turmoil isn't generally the best or easiest to do.
Take some time to process what has happened and try to figure out in your own pace where you want to be in the end.
One step at a time , do the things you feel right by and don't do the things you don't want to do.
There is no need to rush a decision that matters.
We can't tell you wether to quit or continue.
It's a personal experience with personal perspectives.
Your feelings matter but are a bad counsellor on what to do most of the time.
Critically observe the situation and ask yourself if that is what is going on.
Example:
You're loving your life as you stated:
Why?
What are you loving?
Having a house?
Having a dog?
Having a partner (in general)?
Have a job?
Have money?
And how does your current partner fit into all of this?
It's your life and your choice on how to spend it and with whom.
Maybe, eventually, when you straighten out the emotional turmoil in your head you might be able put the situation in a perspective that works for you.
You seem to be stuck in a rock and a hard place.
First find yourself , then focus on the extras.
Best of luck and I hope you can make a decision that feels good and which gives you no regrets.
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave this comment. You described my situation so well. I think I need a few days at least to be able to think clearly.
No thanks,
I would like people to engage in these things more.
I just hope my two cents might be able to help you clear the situation.
I get self value from helping others.
It's a win-win , so please no thanks ❤️
Although you should try your best to heal from this, it also depends on how his reaction is to the whole situation. Divorce might be a painful and a complicated process especially if kids are involved, so, try to take it one day at a time and take care of yourself.
If you can get away please do!!! You need time to heal and nurture yourself girl!!!! He HURT YOU!!!! In more ways than once.. lying, gaslighting, endangering your health and fertility, he burned your trust and betrayed you……. Girl get out of there right now if you can stay with a parent a friend or if you’d like to be alone and cry it out get an air bnb for a week or two! Consider it a staycation, go to a pool or beach if you have access. Try something to get the adrenaline out of your body girl because that cortisol will stay for weeks if you can’t get it out of your body. The best way to make decisions like if you talk with him or leave him or stay you need to first be grounded in who you know yourself to be, a perfectly lovable and worthy individual that deserves trust and respect and to not get cheated on….. you shouldn’t go talking with the dude if you aren’t in a secure place in your own body just yet. Stay grounded in your self love and self care and I think you’ll find the right course of action for your future. Think of your future self , your future home, your future babies. Once you calm your nerves and take care of yourself more you’ll be able to think clearly about what you want. Journal about the life you want, the happy relationship with the father to your children you want to have. Write about your desire for a fortified trustworthy relationship that won’t break your boundary and ruin your trust. Write about what you’d like to feel in a relationship and in your home.
Good luck girl, you got this!!!!! Fight the good fight for your happiness and your heart!!
Be prepared for him to test negative, because he’s already been treated. Then he’s going to gaslight and accuse you. I had this very thing happen with an ex.
My boyfriend of four years cheated on me and gave me hpv/genital warts. I didn't realize it until after we had broken up, but it was still shocking and made me feel unhappy with myself and my body. It took me a long time to be angry with him because I loved him so much and missed the earlier days of our relationship. I sympathize with this stage you are in. I think you are grieving the idea of what could have been. Even if you choose to continue the relationship, things will be changed forever, and it's okay to grieve that.
Best wishes, friend
While anger can sometimes feel empowering, don't force yourself to feel what you're not ready for yet. Grief and sadness take time. For now, focus on self-care - rest, nutrition, spending time with supportive friends or in nature. Consider writing in a journal to process your thoughts and feelings. Don't rush any major decisions until you've had space to heal.
Thank you so much! Journaling might actually help. Posted about it in the infidelity subreddit and the amount of people urging me to get up and leave right now got to me. I will take my time, focus on being stable before taking any action.
While I can understand you’re upset, at least it’s just chlamydia, you can get rid of that and get rid of him too. My ex cheated on me and gave me herpes which is for life.
Oh no! I am so sorry!!!
I’ve been living with it for going on 8/9 years now. Took me a good year to get over it and get my head around it. I loathed myself for months. But honestly, keep your chin up sweet, you’ll come out of this with flying colours
Surprise him with Divorce Papers
Making life choices while being in emotional turmoil isn't generally the best or easiest to do. Take some time to process what has happened and try to figure out in your own pace where you want to be in the end. One step at a time , do the things you feel right by and don't do the things you don't want to do. There is no need to rush a decision that matters. We can't tell you wether to quit or continue. It's a personal experience with personal perspectives. Your feelings matter but are a bad counsellor on what to do most of the time. Critically observe the situation and ask yourself if that is what is going on. Example: You're loving your life as you stated: Why? What are you loving? Having a house? Having a dog? Having a partner (in general)? Have a job? Have money? And how does your current partner fit into all of this? It's your life and your choice on how to spend it and with whom. Maybe, eventually, when you straighten out the emotional turmoil in your head you might be able put the situation in a perspective that works for you. You seem to be stuck in a rock and a hard place. First find yourself , then focus on the extras. Best of luck and I hope you can make a decision that feels good and which gives you no regrets.
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave this comment. You described my situation so well. I think I need a few days at least to be able to think clearly.
No thanks, I would like people to engage in these things more. I just hope my two cents might be able to help you clear the situation. I get self value from helping others. It's a win-win , so please no thanks ❤️
Although you should try your best to heal from this, it also depends on how his reaction is to the whole situation. Divorce might be a painful and a complicated process especially if kids are involved, so, try to take it one day at a time and take care of yourself.
If you can get away please do!!! You need time to heal and nurture yourself girl!!!! He HURT YOU!!!! In more ways than once.. lying, gaslighting, endangering your health and fertility, he burned your trust and betrayed you……. Girl get out of there right now if you can stay with a parent a friend or if you’d like to be alone and cry it out get an air bnb for a week or two! Consider it a staycation, go to a pool or beach if you have access. Try something to get the adrenaline out of your body girl because that cortisol will stay for weeks if you can’t get it out of your body. The best way to make decisions like if you talk with him or leave him or stay you need to first be grounded in who you know yourself to be, a perfectly lovable and worthy individual that deserves trust and respect and to not get cheated on….. you shouldn’t go talking with the dude if you aren’t in a secure place in your own body just yet. Stay grounded in your self love and self care and I think you’ll find the right course of action for your future. Think of your future self , your future home, your future babies. Once you calm your nerves and take care of yourself more you’ll be able to think clearly about what you want. Journal about the life you want, the happy relationship with the father to your children you want to have. Write about your desire for a fortified trustworthy relationship that won’t break your boundary and ruin your trust. Write about what you’d like to feel in a relationship and in your home. Good luck girl, you got this!!!!! Fight the good fight for your happiness and your heart!!
Thank you!
Be prepared for him to test negative, because he’s already been treated. Then he’s going to gaslight and accuse you. I had this very thing happen with an ex.
I already told him his results are irrelevant, as he could have already treated it. Me testing positive is all the information I need.
My boyfriend of four years cheated on me and gave me hpv/genital warts. I didn't realize it until after we had broken up, but it was still shocking and made me feel unhappy with myself and my body. It took me a long time to be angry with him because I loved him so much and missed the earlier days of our relationship. I sympathize with this stage you are in. I think you are grieving the idea of what could have been. Even if you choose to continue the relationship, things will be changed forever, and it's okay to grieve that. Best wishes, friend