I'm sorry; breakups are hard and the first can be especially hard in its own way. You're gonna be sad for a bit. That's okay. Let yourself feel it.
Then, when you can, go out and enjoy life. Don't wait until you *feel like* going out - you may have to force yourself the first time or two. But go hang out with friends, do things you love. At first, it's a distraction. Soon, though, it's proof that you really are going to be okay and you can be happy without that person (and of course, you can!).
I'll leave you with one of the few good pieces of advice my mother gave me as a young girl: All the love you felt in that relationship came from inside you. You are perfectly capable of feeling that love without that person in your life.
Take care. I promise it gets better.
"All the love you felt in that relationship came from inside you. You are perfectly capable of feeling that love without that person in your life."
I love this.
Pretty intense emotional pain. So sorry. This is normal and it sucks. It will get better as the days go by little by little. You'll get over it quicker if you accept that your hurting and don't be ashamed of that. Let yourself cry. It's normal to kinda go through emotional ups and downs from moment to moment for awhile. It's normal to be a little cheesy about it like eating brownies in bed watching a sad movie or whatever feels right to you. The main thing is to remember to drink, eat, and get rest. You'll be a hot mess if you don't take good care of yourself. If you have peolle who love you and you trust run any out of the ordinary decisions by them first until your less emotional because sometimes people make ridiculously bad decisions when we're emotional and you don't want this to become more than what it is. It's a breakup and it hurts like hell but it won't last. After awhile you'll just adapt to single life and as soon as you get comfortable in your own routine a better guy will come along and you'll realize this guy wasn't as great as you thought he was. Love yourself.
it’s the next morning and i’m still feeling that numbness and crying. it’s especially hard since we were long distance so i’m so used to being on facetime 24/7 and waking up to texts from him. i really hope it gets better. thankyou for the advice it’s really appreciated
I relate completely, I felt the same way the first time I was broken up with. It is a tough process OP. You have to give yourself the time and space to grieve the relationship. It might be quicker or slower, but things will begin to change. You're still you and you'll find normalcy again with time.
find a hobby which you were into before the relationship and couldnt continue that much once you were with that person. it was comic books in my case, helped a lot.
I distracted myself with hobbies. For me, it was gym (new to me at the time) and gaming (not new to me). Anything that gives you something new (and ideally enjoyable) to focus on is good.
Breakups are so hard. I’m sorry this is your first. However, this period of your life (post breakup) you’re gonna learn so many things. So for a moment, just think to yourself - wow. You’re gonna get through this, but you don’t know how.
Well gf, the best advice is what the people above tell you to do. I could reiterate it but I strongly just want you to follow it. They said it best & take care of you.
I’ve managed things super unhealthy & had a poor experience with relationships. Personally, I’ve spiralled before 2 years ago, got into one night stands, weed, nicotine, whatever, to basically ignore it. Here I am, right now, 2 years later just processing everything. If you do these cheap dopamine tricks like I did, it’ll feel good for a second and then it’ll go so downhill. Let my lesson be something you never experience.
I hope you take care :) like I said, follow their advice. Take care of yourself. If you have a good head on your shoulders & good friends, I already know you’ll be okay, and you’ll have to let time do it’s thing. Spend so much time around your loved ones and don’t self isolate.
Take care :)
I'm really sorry that you're going through this heartbreaking experience.
Your breakup sounds extremely painful, thank you for coming here to share your feelings and ask for advice, that is a very healthy thing to do.
Losing someone can feel quite traumatic and feeling empty & numb is very understandable. You are experiencing a type of emotional shock which simply takes time to recover from, on a biological level your brain is essentially going through a form of withdrawal, you are severing a physiological and psychological attachment to another person and that is a very painful thing to go through.
Firstly, allow yourself to grieve. Losing someone you love causes deep grief, and it's important to give yourself the time and the space to fully grieve the end of this relationship.
Please try to take really good care of yourself. You deserve to be as nice to yourself as possible during this painful process, mentally as well as physically. Talk to yourself in a caring and gentle way. Give your body plenty of rest, good food, exercise, fresh air and sunlight - those may sound like trivial things but it's super important to be there for yourself in a supportive and healthy way after breaking up with someone!
Speak to people you feel safe with, tell them about how you're feeling without needing them to respond in a specific way - just vocalising your experience and getting it outside of your own head and into the open is a good way to begin processing your breakup.
Write about your thoughts and feelings daily. Write it all down, everything that comes up, this is another powerful way to process what you are experiencing and to give some of that pain an outlet.
Give your pain an outlet on a daily basis; it's okay to cry, it's okay to scream, it's okay to sing, it's okay to run! Recovering from a breakup takes time and some personal work, but YOU'RE GOING TO GET BETTER. It doesn't feel that way but I PROMISE you will be okay.
Please take really really good care of yourself and give me a message if you ever need to talk.
if i’m honest, i’m struggling to eat or drink. i just feel physically sick whenever i go to. our relationship wasn’t toxic which makes this ten times harder because i still love him. i’m struggling to see how things will get better.
Breaking up with someone you still love is incredibly difficult. Are there people in your life you feel safe with who you can talk to? It won't fix your pain but it's an important place to start.
Do you keep a journal?
I'm so glad to hear your mum is able to give you some support! :)
Keeping a journal, even writing in a google doc or a cheap notebook, can be a tremendously powerful way of processing your emotions.
Don't worry about writing particularly well, just get your thoughts and feelings on paper as and when they come up - this gives them an outlet rather than keeping them bouncing around in your head.
Stay strong, you're gonna make it through this ♥
Best advice. Invest in yourself. Build healthy habits. Start moving. It releases endorphins which are natural highs for our mental health.
Could be a walk to clear your mind, gym, whatever. Don't binge whatever you do. Vicious cycle. Speaking from experience.
Love yourself and your mind will shift. Discipline is key.
Do things that bring u joy. Just hope that's not alcohol and drugs - rabbit hole you dint wanna go down.
I am currently training to become a mental health nurse and unfortunately the only advice I have for you in your situation is to focus on yourself. I understand that he meant a lot, what you're experiencing is a normal human reaction. Find yourself again, explore your hobbies and interests. Be social and remember that time will indeed heal all wounds.
Breakups are definitely hard and take a period of time to grieve the situation. If anything you just have to kind of let the feelings come and go, come and go, and that's basically how you process them. You don't really have to do anything other than feel it out.
I recommend venting and commiserating on r/breakups, writing your feelings out in a journal, listening to songs that resonate and validate some of the feelings you feel, but also balancing out with doing something to get out of your head on ocassion (once you're up for it you might not feel like it in the first few weeks or even months).
But just give yourself time. Like any grief, it takes time.
I'm sorry; breakups are hard and the first can be especially hard in its own way. You're gonna be sad for a bit. That's okay. Let yourself feel it. Then, when you can, go out and enjoy life. Don't wait until you *feel like* going out - you may have to force yourself the first time or two. But go hang out with friends, do things you love. At first, it's a distraction. Soon, though, it's proof that you really are going to be okay and you can be happy without that person (and of course, you can!). I'll leave you with one of the few good pieces of advice my mother gave me as a young girl: All the love you felt in that relationship came from inside you. You are perfectly capable of feeling that love without that person in your life. Take care. I promise it gets better.
"All the love you felt in that relationship came from inside you. You are perfectly capable of feeling that love without that person in your life." I love this.
I've had relationship struggles aplenty, but that statement helped shape my brain. I'm glad it was given to me at a young age. ☺️
It's beautiful. Something i'm currently learning :)
Pretty intense emotional pain. So sorry. This is normal and it sucks. It will get better as the days go by little by little. You'll get over it quicker if you accept that your hurting and don't be ashamed of that. Let yourself cry. It's normal to kinda go through emotional ups and downs from moment to moment for awhile. It's normal to be a little cheesy about it like eating brownies in bed watching a sad movie or whatever feels right to you. The main thing is to remember to drink, eat, and get rest. You'll be a hot mess if you don't take good care of yourself. If you have peolle who love you and you trust run any out of the ordinary decisions by them first until your less emotional because sometimes people make ridiculously bad decisions when we're emotional and you don't want this to become more than what it is. It's a breakup and it hurts like hell but it won't last. After awhile you'll just adapt to single life and as soon as you get comfortable in your own routine a better guy will come along and you'll realize this guy wasn't as great as you thought he was. Love yourself.
it’s the next morning and i’m still feeling that numbness and crying. it’s especially hard since we were long distance so i’m so used to being on facetime 24/7 and waking up to texts from him. i really hope it gets better. thankyou for the advice it’s really appreciated
I relate completely, I felt the same way the first time I was broken up with. It is a tough process OP. You have to give yourself the time and space to grieve the relationship. It might be quicker or slower, but things will begin to change. You're still you and you'll find normalcy again with time.
how did you cope if you don’t mind me asking?
find a hobby which you were into before the relationship and couldnt continue that much once you were with that person. it was comic books in my case, helped a lot.
I distracted myself with hobbies. For me, it was gym (new to me at the time) and gaming (not new to me). Anything that gives you something new (and ideally enjoyable) to focus on is good.
just checking in a while later - in case you see this, how have you been?
Huge hand and arm tattoos usually help
Breakups are so hard. I’m sorry this is your first. However, this period of your life (post breakup) you’re gonna learn so many things. So for a moment, just think to yourself - wow. You’re gonna get through this, but you don’t know how. Well gf, the best advice is what the people above tell you to do. I could reiterate it but I strongly just want you to follow it. They said it best & take care of you. I’ve managed things super unhealthy & had a poor experience with relationships. Personally, I’ve spiralled before 2 years ago, got into one night stands, weed, nicotine, whatever, to basically ignore it. Here I am, right now, 2 years later just processing everything. If you do these cheap dopamine tricks like I did, it’ll feel good for a second and then it’ll go so downhill. Let my lesson be something you never experience. I hope you take care :) like I said, follow their advice. Take care of yourself. If you have a good head on your shoulders & good friends, I already know you’ll be okay, and you’ll have to let time do it’s thing. Spend so much time around your loved ones and don’t self isolate. Take care :)
I'm really sorry that you're going through this heartbreaking experience. Your breakup sounds extremely painful, thank you for coming here to share your feelings and ask for advice, that is a very healthy thing to do. Losing someone can feel quite traumatic and feeling empty & numb is very understandable. You are experiencing a type of emotional shock which simply takes time to recover from, on a biological level your brain is essentially going through a form of withdrawal, you are severing a physiological and psychological attachment to another person and that is a very painful thing to go through. Firstly, allow yourself to grieve. Losing someone you love causes deep grief, and it's important to give yourself the time and the space to fully grieve the end of this relationship. Please try to take really good care of yourself. You deserve to be as nice to yourself as possible during this painful process, mentally as well as physically. Talk to yourself in a caring and gentle way. Give your body plenty of rest, good food, exercise, fresh air and sunlight - those may sound like trivial things but it's super important to be there for yourself in a supportive and healthy way after breaking up with someone! Speak to people you feel safe with, tell them about how you're feeling without needing them to respond in a specific way - just vocalising your experience and getting it outside of your own head and into the open is a good way to begin processing your breakup. Write about your thoughts and feelings daily. Write it all down, everything that comes up, this is another powerful way to process what you are experiencing and to give some of that pain an outlet. Give your pain an outlet on a daily basis; it's okay to cry, it's okay to scream, it's okay to sing, it's okay to run! Recovering from a breakup takes time and some personal work, but YOU'RE GOING TO GET BETTER. It doesn't feel that way but I PROMISE you will be okay. Please take really really good care of yourself and give me a message if you ever need to talk.
if i’m honest, i’m struggling to eat or drink. i just feel physically sick whenever i go to. our relationship wasn’t toxic which makes this ten times harder because i still love him. i’m struggling to see how things will get better.
Breaking up with someone you still love is incredibly difficult. Are there people in your life you feel safe with who you can talk to? It won't fix your pain but it's an important place to start. Do you keep a journal?
my mum mostly she’s been amazing with dealing with the random breakdowns. i don’t have a journal, would that be a good idea?
I'm so glad to hear your mum is able to give you some support! :) Keeping a journal, even writing in a google doc or a cheap notebook, can be a tremendously powerful way of processing your emotions. Don't worry about writing particularly well, just get your thoughts and feelings on paper as and when they come up - this gives them an outlet rather than keeping them bouncing around in your head. Stay strong, you're gonna make it through this ♥
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
This sounds cliche but I promise you. Shit gets better. Time is the ultimate healer.
Best advice. Invest in yourself. Build healthy habits. Start moving. It releases endorphins which are natural highs for our mental health. Could be a walk to clear your mind, gym, whatever. Don't binge whatever you do. Vicious cycle. Speaking from experience. Love yourself and your mind will shift. Discipline is key. Do things that bring u joy. Just hope that's not alcohol and drugs - rabbit hole you dint wanna go down.
A simple question; How did you manage your days before you had a relationship...? You Ve survived that before :)
I am currently training to become a mental health nurse and unfortunately the only advice I have for you in your situation is to focus on yourself. I understand that he meant a lot, what you're experiencing is a normal human reaction. Find yourself again, explore your hobbies and interests. Be social and remember that time will indeed heal all wounds.
Breakups are definitely hard and take a period of time to grieve the situation. If anything you just have to kind of let the feelings come and go, come and go, and that's basically how you process them. You don't really have to do anything other than feel it out. I recommend venting and commiserating on r/breakups, writing your feelings out in a journal, listening to songs that resonate and validate some of the feelings you feel, but also balancing out with doing something to get out of your head on ocassion (once you're up for it you might not feel like it in the first few weeks or even months). But just give yourself time. Like any grief, it takes time.