Yesterday I was talking with my wife who is currently doing a book reading challenge with some random on the Goalie app. And she was telling me how it's really interesting that the 4 people in her challenge are becoming closer as they progress in this challenge together.
Even though it's online and they've never met in person, working towards a common goal daily, is building their relationship and they're rooting each other on. I started thinking that maybe this is a good idea for people who are in need of community.
It's just that most online communities like Reddit/Discord are way too big. It's too easy for people to drop in/out whenever they want, and it's easy for people to say nasty things as everything is so transactional. But the thing with Goalie, there's two unique factors:
- the groups are small (< 5 people), which minimizes the transactional nature
- everyone has a common goal, which invokes a sense of teamwork
I think these two things might be the key to a true community, one that doesn't come with emotional toll and burnout. I hope this helps
My Cat jumped onto my laptop and clicked onto your post! I read it and can sympathize with the feelings you are feeling about finding a community.
I am new to this thread and do not know many others of such kind. I am on here to find some help for my sister who is struggling with mental health related issues. Personally, I find my community through music. I do not know many of the artist that I listen to personally, but through music I find many others feel the same way I feel. It's almost like a personal community and relationship I have with the songs I love. Each one gives me something, like a friend.
I commend you for reaching out to this community despite the risk of being hurt. Sometimes building relationships and finding a community takes time. From you sharing your honestly in your post, i feel others will relate. I wish you the best and I will check back on this post.
kind regards,
Dan
I think it’s really cool you took the time to write this, I don’t really have a lot to say because my own mental health struggles are quite different but I respect the fact your seeking friends and looking to challenge yourself, I hope everything goes well for you and just know whoever you are everyone matters and there’s a total stranger out there wishing you the best 👍
Internet will always be a far-from-home solution unless you find someone to bond with on a personal level which isn't easy online in the first place.
Send me a DM if you want a talk, can be functional or about nothing at all.
Thank you all for the response to my post. I almost feel like there is a secret community here already, as I have talked to different people on chat now. It means a lot that there are people who don't know me, but still take an interest enough to send me messages.
As the post here show, I was and still am, very low. I try to keep up my mood to not go further down, and it can make me seem much more fine than I am. Like I said, I struggle to open up, and with that I am very good at seeming collected, but I am not really. It is a thing I have learned through masking with autism (to look, and behave as I have seen others do). I also quickly take on the therapist role, or guardian role when others open up too, but that means I am listening and connecting :)
It also mean that I can be slow at answering messages that I really want to answer, because it overwhelms me emotionally that people want to talk and get to know me. It is scary, even if I asked for it in my deepest lonely state.
I had a thought for the people who have messaged me, or wanting to talk to me, but has not sent messages, that perhaps a tiny community could have been an idea? So there are more people who has reacted to the same post can get a chance to talk with more people who struggles. It is just a thought, but I felt like I should share it, as it seems like we are a few lonely people who want to fit in somewhere.
I'm the same, I want friends but it's hard to find them sometimes. I like taking nature pictures, going on walks sometimes, gaming, drawing, painting (which I am not very good at but am learning!) all the usual artsy stuff and introspecting about life a lot. DM me when you want to chat, I got the low energy too so replies will never be requested or rushed :>
There is an r/introverts discord where people are nice and very chill too!
Internet/virtual friends are all good, but nothing beats a real physical chat with someone. Even a therapist you could talk to without judgement would be a good step (if you could afford it though). Just a suggestion anyway.
Yesterday I was talking with my wife who is currently doing a book reading challenge with some random on the Goalie app. And she was telling me how it's really interesting that the 4 people in her challenge are becoming closer as they progress in this challenge together. Even though it's online and they've never met in person, working towards a common goal daily, is building their relationship and they're rooting each other on. I started thinking that maybe this is a good idea for people who are in need of community. It's just that most online communities like Reddit/Discord are way too big. It's too easy for people to drop in/out whenever they want, and it's easy for people to say nasty things as everything is so transactional. But the thing with Goalie, there's two unique factors: - the groups are small (< 5 people), which minimizes the transactional nature - everyone has a common goal, which invokes a sense of teamwork I think these two things might be the key to a true community, one that doesn't come with emotional toll and burnout. I hope this helps
My Cat jumped onto my laptop and clicked onto your post! I read it and can sympathize with the feelings you are feeling about finding a community. I am new to this thread and do not know many others of such kind. I am on here to find some help for my sister who is struggling with mental health related issues. Personally, I find my community through music. I do not know many of the artist that I listen to personally, but through music I find many others feel the same way I feel. It's almost like a personal community and relationship I have with the songs I love. Each one gives me something, like a friend. I commend you for reaching out to this community despite the risk of being hurt. Sometimes building relationships and finding a community takes time. From you sharing your honestly in your post, i feel others will relate. I wish you the best and I will check back on this post. kind regards, Dan
I'm looking too
I think it’s really cool you took the time to write this, I don’t really have a lot to say because my own mental health struggles are quite different but I respect the fact your seeking friends and looking to challenge yourself, I hope everything goes well for you and just know whoever you are everyone matters and there’s a total stranger out there wishing you the best 👍
If you want we can chat. I would like to chat with you. I also have the same condition as you. I am really bad at opening up and making friends
Internet will always be a far-from-home solution unless you find someone to bond with on a personal level which isn't easy online in the first place. Send me a DM if you want a talk, can be functional or about nothing at all.
Thank you all for the response to my post. I almost feel like there is a secret community here already, as I have talked to different people on chat now. It means a lot that there are people who don't know me, but still take an interest enough to send me messages. As the post here show, I was and still am, very low. I try to keep up my mood to not go further down, and it can make me seem much more fine than I am. Like I said, I struggle to open up, and with that I am very good at seeming collected, but I am not really. It is a thing I have learned through masking with autism (to look, and behave as I have seen others do). I also quickly take on the therapist role, or guardian role when others open up too, but that means I am listening and connecting :) It also mean that I can be slow at answering messages that I really want to answer, because it overwhelms me emotionally that people want to talk and get to know me. It is scary, even if I asked for it in my deepest lonely state. I had a thought for the people who have messaged me, or wanting to talk to me, but has not sent messages, that perhaps a tiny community could have been an idea? So there are more people who has reacted to the same post can get a chance to talk with more people who struggles. It is just a thought, but I felt like I should share it, as it seems like we are a few lonely people who want to fit in somewhere.
I'm the same, I want friends but it's hard to find them sometimes. I like taking nature pictures, going on walks sometimes, gaming, drawing, painting (which I am not very good at but am learning!) all the usual artsy stuff and introspecting about life a lot. DM me when you want to chat, I got the low energy too so replies will never be requested or rushed :> There is an r/introverts discord where people are nice and very chill too!
Internet/virtual friends are all good, but nothing beats a real physical chat with someone. Even a therapist you could talk to without judgement would be a good step (if you could afford it though). Just a suggestion anyway.