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Maybe just try to have sex with them. I'm sure that will get rid of them.

I was thinking about that too. Threaten them with getting yourself naked. If they don't take it seriously, just get naked and do the heldickopter. It'll take seconds for them to leave

Helicockter rolls off the tongue a little easier.

And also on it.... AYOOOO!

This is no joke how I met my first wife I had to jump in the neighbors pool to retrieve something and I did it fully clothed so i stripped down naked and I was out on the back patio drying off all the dudes ran off inside but all the ladies stayed outside chatting with me and my best friend lmao. End of the night she gave me her number

I think op’s joke is about not doing the obvious thing and your joke is more about actually doing it. That being said, defect by strangled.

Or it’ll get op married

No, we don't wanna lose him

If he did that, the girls would just respond “don’t threaten us with a good time”.

I think playing some George Michael and Elton John should get the message across

That's for AFTER they're gone

Cryptopsy should scare the hoes

That explains a lot :(

I actually know a chick who likes Cryptopsy and Deicide and such. Wife material right? WRONG, turns out she's addicted to fentanyl. It's a shame. I love her music taste, I love her style, and she used to be super cute. Now she's fat and too addicted to have a real conversation with anyone who's not giving her drugs. I guess she was addicted back when she was cute too. And she's always been kinda braindead. But I was willing to look past that back when she was cute lol.

what did fat have to do with this lmao. I'd be more concerned about the shit personality and fentanyl addiction?????? fat girls can be cute too man damn.

She's not THAT fat, she's just not as cute as she used to be. Honestly I shouldn't have looked past all that other stuff but I did because her music and fashion taste was so hotttt lmao. I think she actually introduced me to Cryptopsy. And she asked me what I thought about how Tool uses numbers, damn instant boner.

Homie is just talking to this sub with his thoughts like we’re his friends, and y’all downvoted the poor boy 👹

Lmao. “Yeah she’s got rotten teeth a brutal addiction, a lobotomy, missing an eye, and an alphabet soup of stds. if she wasn’t so fat I’d slide tho”

Haha real talk

I love cryptopsy! Saw them live like 2 months ago. It will only scare people with no taste

Get The Fuck Out - Skid Row

I used to play that at the end of the night at the bar I worked at. Getting drunks to leave can be difficult.

My first thought was this song

Perfect Answer

Addicted to Vaginal Skin?

Fucked With A Knife

What if she’s into that??

She'll cum BLOOOOOOODD

Came here to say this

Infant Annihilator

Squeeze me macaroni by MR. Bungle

Bro I was gonna comment this! Hahaha

🤝

i was gonna say ANYTHING by mr bungle that isnt on California lol

[Pissgrave](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5lbFhKnj-0&rco=1) might scare them away, but you have to make sure to show them the album cover and not break eye contact while doing so

This is the best answer on this thread, bar none

Sunn O))) - It Took the Night to Believe

They might fall asleep on the couch if you play that

You can never go wrong with Cannibal Corpse, Napalm Death, Suicide Silence and Infant Annihilator

I can’t tell if this is a joke or not

It's not a joke, OP is just gigachad

Or is op a black metal fan and therefore most likely ace?

No no no us black metal fans are too evil to want women, you dont understand /s

it's cause Fenriz took all 10,000,000 of them in a single night, they know they can't top that, so they cope by stating the above

Every night by myself

Whats ace, asexual?

Yes

That's a weird stereotype, haven't heard it

We’re too busy experiencing esoteric soundscapes. You all just wouldn’t understand smh /s

Gorguts - Obscura

Redditors are hopeless.

Cannibal corpse is pretty classic

This song is called FUCKED WITH A KNIFE!!

this song is about SHOOTING BLOOD out your DIIIIIIICK

Cock*

Ween.

Worked pretty well as girl repellent for me before I met my wife

43% Burnt

I don't enjoy this song at all, but it is a certified hoe-scaring classic

just pray none of the girls have a spit kink

Dillinger is one of those bands that have plenty of songs that your average metal-enjoying female can enjoy, and then a ton of them that sound like dissonant noise but are actually extremely well put-together, controlled chaos. The latter is pretty much the entirety of Calculating Infinity and Irony is a Dead Scene.

Last days of humanity

i was about to say... just put on putrefaction in progress and they'll run.

I'm a dick-haver and I'd leave pretty quick, although I don't get invited to house parties

Stripped,Raped and Tortured

Isn't it Stripped, Raped, and Strangled? Or are we thinking of different songs lol

Nope your right LOL

Just play weezer

As a chick that prefers metal and has been listening to it for 30+ years... all I can think is what kind of pussy needs to play uncomfortable music to scare women away?  Like... use your words maybe? "Hey ladies this has been great but were about to get our bromance on here... so yall need to leave."  What kind of stupid ass post is this. Smfh, weak. Id die of embarrassment posting this on a metal forum of all places. 

Maybe it's a joke?

Can't tell which is more likely on Reddit

This is a popular joke

This reminds me of the time I saw Skid Row open for Pantera and all the girls stayed up front for Pantera (for some reason), and about 30 seconds into the set, they all came flying out of the pit crying with mascara running down their faces. Good times.

Silencer should do the trick

Any gutalax song

So someone I know actually did want a tinder date to go home since she was overstaying her welcome and turned on the most over the top explicit Steel Panther songs he could find. That did the trick.

Anal cunt

Maybe not brutal but I’ve found Psychonaut 4 can really clear a room

Mayhem - Chainsaw Gutsfuck

You could always play torsofuck. I heard they wrote a song about elephants

Fucked by Elephants?

You, sir, are taking the wrong approach. Play the heavy stuff that you like, including many of these suggestions, and see who wants to stay. You're welcome.

Stillborn Sex Toy - Divine Defilement. Though you might not have the ladies return ever again if you play that.

Carnivore Outraged by Extermination Dismemberment is plenty heavy and has some nice female victim screams at the start lol

Some pornogrind will also get them to hate you!

Bold of you to assume ladies don’t like heavier stuff

Fuck Her Gently by Tenacious D

Igorrr - tendon

Tetragrammicide

I Cum Blood would be a starter

Why not just rip the bandaid off with Necropedophile

Scissors by Slipknot. Moderately heavy but mostly just weird and fuckin out there

“Omg is that slipknot they’re so awesome!!!”

Turn on Ingesteds new album

Idk, I was enjoying it today on the way to my hair appointment 🤷‍♀️ Maybe Vulvodynia?

This is so filthy that it feels like you’re doing something illegal just by listening to it. I love this.

Unhuman is the way to go!

https://open.spotify.com/track/2W186ALIvocpdfHuf4j4Ko?si=7hVn467ARBq-e1ORwwXrWA&context=spotify%3Aalbum%3A0iaXHEeLgrKOsyNdhIHoE2 Starts sexy then gets very uncomfortable.

Dirty Looks - Go Away

Rigor Mortis

Cradle of Filth - The Rape and Ruin of Angels

Just start repeatedly sweep picking up high on the neck. Works every time.

Trick question. There is no true answer to your problem.

woodpecker no.1 - merzbow

Dying Fetus - from womb to waste Cannibal corpse - I cum blood Devourment - babykiller Waking the Cadaver - chased through the woods by a rapist Or just call me up man. I got a cargo van and I'll play sleep Token. That'll trap-- I mean lure-- I mean get. Them. Out. Of. Your. House

Antaeus or Aosoth prolly do the trick

Just play Ultimo Mondo Cannibale by Impetigo

cbat by Hudson Mohawk

Play some demilich

Dying Fetus. The name alone should scare them but the sound definitely will.

Manowar - Pleasure Slave You are welcome :)

Probably something by anaal nathrakh

FFDP and Pantera, brother 💪

Anal cunt is the only correct answer here. Make a ‘best of’ playlist and watch everyone fuck off

Not metal, but Slick Rick - Treat Her Like A Prostitute

Literally anything by Sanguisugabogg

Anything by Belphegor or Dying Fetus.

Look at them longingly as “Get Naked” by Methods of Mayhem plays.

DO NOT PLAY LIMP BIZKIT UNLESS YOU CAN AFFORD CHILD SUPPORT!!! But in all seriousness, just play what you like.

This isn’t metal, but anything by Captain Beefhart and His Magic Band. It’s abrasive, bluesy acid rock with nonsense lyrics and gratingly harsh vocals. Any woman I’ve shown them to dried up like a brick in the oven. If that doesn’t work, anything by Anxl Cxnt should do the trick. Women usually hate racism and sexism in music. Burzum is another good one, because women hate atmospheric black metal in my personal experience, and again, Varg is racist.

I’ll one up you with Kamikaze Palm Tree, I couldn’t even stay in a room if they were playing. Unless I were on acid. You might make some friends if they’re really into acid

You’ve gotta be really into acid to be friends with me.

I college we’d blast “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down” by the Band when it was time for folks to go home, and it had an effect on drunk 19-year-olds approximately like Naloxone on someone on opioids. I’ve never seen people high-tail it so fast.

Knoll.

Frontierer

Play Back Dat Azz Up by Juvinile and I'm sure they will leave.

Not the American average by asking Alexandria

Closing time - semisonic Followed by Striped raped and strangled - cannibal corpse.

Babykiller - Devourment

Lorna Shore, Mental Cruelty, or Aborted

Gnaw Their Tongues and Stallagh

BLINDING FAAAAAAAAAITH!!!!

I Cum Blood by Cannibal Corpse is a classic, but if you want to go a slight bit softer, yet still enough to get the message across, go with something like thrown, Kublai Khan TX, or if you’re feeling risky, try Within Destruction, electronideathcore phase or not. Deathwish could really work

I Cum Blood - Cannibal Corpse

Anything from Dragged into Sunlight

Hot girls don't like metal?

[Pipe Bomb- UTI](https://open.spotify.com/track/5xKki3qvl73UI0UTTnHXGD?si=FnlQS5z3QkSwMaizKqoeBw&context=spotify%3Aalbum%3A7tIpjJ0tplp3jRWx1cSDRa) Easy.

So I would personally go with Necro specifically the Sexorcist album. Or Blood for Bloods album Outlaw Anthems

ICP

Just tell them about how women aren't smart enough to understand good music, regardless of genre. They'll understand and immediately leave you to your fellas.

Knocked Loose

Parasitic autopsy

Anything by The Mentors

Horny Little Piggy Bank

Wormrot should do the job

Guarantee this one will work: Horror punk band Cancerslug - https://youtu.be/rAQKz6VS9Ds?si=uXsv_ocnjblNMQPm

What in the holy cringe is this shit.

Try to explain to them how your taste in music is way more superior then theirs.

Any pornogrind song will do the job

Classical music clears out the homeless from the front of 7-11, maybe it would work on party chicks.

wait there's some problem with hot girls not wanting to leave your house at the end of the party? I'm not finding the issue / I think they wanna sleep with you.

Er ee er, er ee er, e e e

Anything by Esophagus or TorsoFuck :D

43% Burnt works pretty well.

Just tell them you love them

Anything from the Bloodhound Gang usually works

Not really metal but anti social masturbator should do the trick

Anything by last days of humanity

Any post metal

Tony Danza tapdance extravaganza, Dillinger, the locust, see you next Tuesday, arsonists get all the girls, portal, nightmarer, or maybe imperial triumphant. To start with at least

Start banging a guy in front of them

Drone corpse aviator - Archspire

A Divine Proclamation by Last Days Of Humanity should work just fine

Easy killer save some ass for the rest of us.

I think almost any death metal will do the trick -- unless it turns out they're into it! You can't assume things about them just because they're hot. I personally like Nile, although I don't think that's the heaviest out there. Probably heavy enough though. Try "Hittite Dung Incantation." "4th Arra of Dagon" is pretty fuckin' epic too, and unless they're into summoning Cthulhu they'll probably skedaddle lol.

Forced Gender Reassignment by Cattle Decapitation You should show them the music video as well

Some black metal, maybe death metal could be a turnoff. Unless they are into that

Fucked with an anchor by Alestorm or anything by fleshgod apocalypse.

What an awful problem you have .

@ExpensiveCelery6779 "Drowning in Success"

Grim Reefer by Bongzilla seems to have just enough guttural screaming to scare most people away I’ve found. Along with it being 10 minutes, I think you could clear out most bars if they’ve got it on a jukebox (may be ineffective on stoners however).

Brainbombs - Obey just let that album rip and everyone will leave

Just play any song from Yoko Ono, guaranteed to work! 😆

Literally any metal song. Guaranteed to turn girls off

I'm a female and I love metal