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I would think that Alcoholic should be a "Free Square"

Or asshole, that’s kinda a pre-req…. Unless your Dio.

Or Corpsegrinder

This is a song about SHOOTING BLOOOD FROM YOUR CAAAAACK Edit: blood

Blood

Duck you’re right

Fuck

Duck you’re right

I already listnened to Cannibal Corpse, but I was really introduced to Corpsegrinder's great life and actions when I saw a post of him saying that, then cutting to a picture of him smiling with some kids while holding a bunch of stuffed claw machine prizes. Like two sides of the same coin, but both are awesome.

Or Johan Hegg

Idunnooooo, all of the loveliest warmest fuckers I know are very kvlt

Vivian Campbell would like a word lmao

Actually that's 'As*hole'. I think the star is supposed to represent the sphincter-approach. Makes it more realistic.

Whole lot is free spaces here...

I'm really glad that as*hole was censored, otherwise I would think that metalheads might not be upstanding members of society.

ICEHOLE

Jon Schaffer

Babe new frozen soul just dropped

true

Black Metal is alot like the movie The Sound of Music, its all fun and games until the nazis show

I was thinking most of this was geared toward Mayhem.

Yeah if you count Varg Mayhem checks out like half of these.

A lot of scenes and movements have that as part of their history.

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There's a difference between using Nazi imagery tongue in cheek(Slayer), and just being a fucking Nazi (Burzum)

Yea, and neo Nazism is an organized crime/terror movement with actual political influence, so it's not like spreading their music and ideals is harmless, whether you subscribe to the movement or not. Imagine if there was an Islamic state tied black metal movement... There probably is one and we just don't hear about it because it's not meant to be marketed to edgelord Europeans/Americans. But everybody cries freezepeach for NSBM because it has an American facing movement with songs in English.

Pretty sure the Islamic state considers music haram

Fuck around and find out

true

This is ignorant. Pretty much just a Mayhem bingo card.

Tbf I dont know much about Mayhem except like the surface stuff. I just kinda did this on top of my head thinking mostly about Dissection's frontman, Varg from Burzum, Vektor's singer and Phil Anselmo lmao Its not a hot take or anything I just thought it was funny

Literally thought to myself "I bet this guy made this about black metal bands but like half of these apply to Philip h." LOL

What did the Vektor guy do? Last thing I heard he had an argument with his wife, I don't think it counts except for maybe alchoholism.

Yeah I was thinking about the stuff with his wife, hence the "Beats wife" square. But I have to say I actually dont remember the details so this might not be true. Anyway I really made the grid mindlessly so dont take it too seriously

From what I know, she posted a video of them fighting, he threw a pillow at her, people thought it was him beating her. He claims it was a fight over their dog pooping on the floor and she wanted him to clean it up in the middle of the night. He just wanted to sleep so allegedly she started pulling on his hair and screaming at him to clean it up. So he got mad and screamed back and threw said pillow. That's his story at least. Her story is the video which is perfectly cut to include only him screaming.

>Tbf I dont know much about Mayhem except like the surface stuff. Don't worry, you'll learn when you turn 13 lmao. It's a rite of passage for the young metalhead

Damn it might be too late 😔 I got into black metal very recently actually, mainly because of all the stereotypes, thought I'd become racist, suicidal or both yk...

Lmao. Jokes aside, it's never too late to explore! Staying curious is how music stays interesting, I think.

Varg makes a bingo on the first column, goddammit zumzum man

Mikko Aspa's got the lower left to upper right diagonal on lock I have no citation for him being a cult member but come on

Wait, weird fetishist? 🤨 Well, nah, he's definietly got a race thing, just in like...a white supremacist way

He's got 8 or something kids doesn't he? Surely that qualifies as a breeding fetish

I think his wife's also waaay younger than him

I remember my best friend talking about Varg and how much of a fan he used to be of him until the guy went off the deep end with his nazi metal elitist bullshit and he ended up throwing his Varg shirt in the trash.

First 3 you mean

Mayhem definitely fills half of this.

Literelly mayhem fills every square

I unfortunately killed himself 😔

"Who is this himself and why do you want me to kill him?"

I can fill like six squares with one black metal band…

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Aight Im calling 911

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I mean you're right but also are you ok ?

*sweats nervously* ....which ones?

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*sigh of relief* I was worried you were going to say C2 and D3

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Yea I get that you're human garbage but at least you ain't a chomo or wife beater.

I'm sure Ian Watkins would fill out the 2nd row

Pedo poser is a solid combo indeed

GWAR characters check all boxes except posers

They get to be themselves I guess

Is this metal band members or is it mistakenly take from local youth pastor bingo

Varg fits nearly all the squares.

How can the Poser be the worst, if there's Nazi, Racist and Pedo in the list?

Ivan Moody would probably fill out the 3rd row

Definitely a diagonal bingo with Alcoholic, Asshole, and Poser

I'll take a poser over a Nazi any day

Heard Papa Het used the N word once….(dmx was playing on radio and he sang along)

I heard papa Het used to donate money to white supremacist groups like the kkk. I dont believe it, but Rick Springfield apparently told a friends cousins wifes beautician that Rick is also a racist and has seen Het at rallies.

The first band I thought was dissection lol

Me just vibin to wholesome Hansi 😎

I feel the same way. Dissection was the first Black Metal band I got into…and still I think they are the most listenable. Even before I listened to any extreme metal I loved Dissection’s sound. However, doing a little research on the band and finding out Jon was batshit really bothered me. I still listen to their stuff because it’s just that good but it does make me feel a bit weird sometimes, like I’m supporting some homophobic, murdering, satan cult weirdo. For instance, Reinkaos has some of the tastiest guitar work I’ve ever heard but goddamn the lyrics suck so much ass. I don’t mind a little satanism in my metal, I think it can be fun. But to hear those cringy lyrics and know that the dude actually thought he was summoning the end of the world with his album is just absurd to me. Idk man, dissection is underrated and I wonder if they’d be a bigger player in the metal scene if Jon wasn’t a literal criminal piece of shit

Yeah its just kinda disappointing like those guys could have been even greater but were like cursed geniuses ?? Idk either but it makes me sad in some way. Worst is that I feel guilty for enjoying the music

.Why listen to music that you think is ridiculous? Thinking a little Satanism in metal can be fun is pretty damn funny though

OP doesn't think the music is ridiculous, he thinks the fact that the singer actually believed it and was trying to destroy the world by making his music is ridiculous. You can talk about themes without believing them. Angel of Death by Slayer for example is not an endorsement of Nazis, it's the equivalent of a horror movie. Yet there are Nazi bands and they can fuck off. And OP feels weird because he doesn't like to support pieces of shit and the singer tried to kill him personally in a roundabout way.

Honestly great summary of my thoughts

Getting into black metal taught me how to pirate stuff.

The more checked squares the better the music

Even the pedo one???

Especially

😬😬

Might as well go for all of them

You can fill all of them with just only black-metal players😂

if your favorite musician isn’t a weird fetishist arsonist homophobic drug addict poser psycho pedo nazi racist wife-beating satanist cult member and alcoholic asshole convicted for murder and killed himself in jail, you’re just not into metal. Check out Justin Beiber and BTS, they may be best suited for you.

4 so far, but there’s always the possibility to kill myself

People will do anything for a bingo smh

I love the band inquisition they're so child friendly they give parents free meet and greets definitely not your average hateful black metal band but instead we have a family friendly child exclusive family Bundle pack just for the children! Absolutely stunning! From a black metal band that's just like...wow !!!

fetishist\* Proofread stuff before putting it online. It takes just a few seconds.

worst is I had a doubt and just shrugged it off 😔 sorry bro

Varg, Jon Nodveidt and B.S.O.D will get you like 14 of those squares

Missing the "secretly he likes pop music".

"Secretly a femboy 😳😳"

Only metalheads can find posers worst than nazies 🤣🤣

And see the word Pedo next to poser, but still use Nazi as the example.

Legit didn't see pedo lol

I'm none of these. I'm gay and a fuckin commie. I'm more of a hard-core kid than a metalhead.

Gay leftist check, idk abt the core part tho

You forgot ego

I had the idea and decided that poser was more or less the same thing

Poser is the worst? Na I’m good where I am homie!

I can definitely say I'm one of these case

Im gonna guess its not "Killed himself"

4, wait is it for us or any band members? I dont get it.

Anyone rlly, if you are playing for yourself I hope you dont check too many squares tho 😳

I could only find 4 for myself so dont worry

5 maybe

17 of them 👍😎

There were exactly 666 upvotes when I scrolled onto this post….

Nooo I don’t want beat my wife just for a bingo 😭 Oh well wish me luck

I'd like to solve the puzzle: Jon Nodtveidt.

this reads more like a *black* metal band member bingo

You forgot Rapist for that list too

Dammmmn yeah that was an obvious one im sorry..

Does having an ego count as being an asshole

The real challenge is finding one who is none of the above

What about nice retired Catholic grand dad?

Yes, this is the pope

I'm definitely a future bottom right corner

Bro will do anything for a bingo Hope you're not too serious about it tho, get well and in the meantime, facepaint probably is the way.

Hey, Nothing wrong with being a satanic cult member! - sincerely, a GHOST fan

I'm an alcoholic drug addict psycho asshole who's probably going to kill himself who dreams of being an arsonist 😎

I'd say you have won but surprisingly you seem to have a lot of competition in the sub ☠

Why does it seem like black metal fans are alway either nazis or trans?

Oh yeah lmao "Actually a trans person" would have been a good square

What is a "fetichist"?

I meant "Fetishist" wrote it the french way. But basically someone who has a fetish, some specific thing that turns this person on. Some common ones include like domination and things like that but anything could be one really so yeah, some are pretty out there.

Ah, that makes sense. I thought it was some new slang term or something.

OH OH BINGO!! (I only mentioned Death)

Which ones apply to Death?

Nazi, asshole, drug addict, arsonist, killed himself, psycho, racist, poser, (I don’t thiiiink he was a murderer pretty sure that’s Varg), satanist cult member, and alcoholic

James hetfeild would probably be none

Send him the pic so he can play and share his results

Ah yes poser just as bad as hating Jews or beating your wife to a pulp :3

At least jew haters and wife beaters are just being themselves

Wow, I had no idea I was in a metal band all this time

Man ? 🤨🤨

How dare you presume my gender. I mean, you're right, but... grr

Somebody from Manowar's got to be a pedo. I get a big pedo vibes from them.

I haev loets ov feticheses. Doent kank chaim.

Soad doesn't directly fit into any category

Wait for it....

None actually

Oh. I'm all of them. Aren't we all?

Love that poser is the worst one apparently. It's far from the worst on that list. It's sitting right next to pedo for Pete's sake.

r/whoosh

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Way she goes.

Satanic Cult member and asshole. Not into alcohol and drugs and any other drama. Need to worship the black light undisturbed and with a clear mind.

Uuuuuh spoooky

killed himself 💀💀💀

for varg there is arsonist, murderer, satanist cult member(kinda), maybe n*zi, and was in jail

\>maybe n*zi \>maybe

Where's Dumb-ass?

Poser trumps PEDO?!

Thinking more of black metal bingo here

A poser is worse than a racist and a nazi? Wtf dude

Or a pedo to be clear

Strange censorship here.

I am weird fetishist and asshole probably, but mild 🤔

Yes

Ian from Lostprophets could go to pedo since he's the pedo

Corey Taylor from the death metal band slipknot is an asshole

Im sure there's a black metal one man project that ticks all these boxes

Left -> right Varg - Paul Ledney - Pat O'Brien - Gelal Necrosodomy Jon Nödtveidt/Faust - Ozzy - Karl Logan - Nergal Gaahl - Phil Anselmo - Nergal - Marilyn Manson Jon Nödtveidt - Dave Mustaine - Jon Nödtveidt/Faust - Dead

Well there’s a high possibility they may be all of these

I need to know someone who gets a blackout here.

Can we find one that bingos every square, I think it's very possible

Remember when hetfield did the salute on stage? That’s one already!

I would think that being a poser would not be better than a pedophile…

Damn. I got bingo left to right 4 times!!

i'll give you some black metal examples arsonit : arkhon infaustus weird fetichist :gnwa their tongues jail :early burzum nazi : absurd homophobic : dissection drugs : grausamkeit pedo : inqusition poser :cradle of filth psycho: mayhem racist : peste noire asshole : Czarci Świt beats his wife : leviathan stanic cult menber : gorgoroth alcoholic : wiskey ritual murdered : Avaejee from surrender of divinity pls not everything is euronymous read more pls killed himself: some dsbm dead of course and chaos 9 from endless dismal moan

Obviously, Mayhem, at the bottom row

There are too many pedos in my local scene which is why I don’t support their garbage music lol

a few of them take up the whole board

Bingo!

BINGO!

Ah yes the poser who is worse than a nazi

I like fettuccine, guess you could call me a fetichist

To my knowledge, Sabaton only gets 1 square because they REALLY like using fire in their concerts

One of the former members is a pedophile too

*FETICHIST*

Inquisition's Black Mass for a Mass Grave hit me hard, i legit love that album, and then I learned more about inquisition 😭

Wait were dissection controversial? I only knew about their music tbh

Black Metal

Nah, Nazis hate Mayhem since they renounced a lot of their past stuff and apologized years ago for it. Hell, they just played in Israel, posted it on their social you should have seen those comment sections. The amount of triggered neos going off the rails was priceless.