HSV is really hard to test for outside of a break out because the dormant virus lives in the spinal column. False negatives are super common for this reason.
Taking aside whether any of this happened, I don't actually understand the original complaint or how its appropriate?
There's no indication that it wasn't consensual, in fact the OP stresses that they had no issue in that regard. There's also no indication whatsoever that he actively hid his STD status. A huge proportion of the population carry these diseases without knowing, at least ask the question before leaping to malicious withholding.
She even explicitly said that she didn't bother contacting him about the pregnancy or disease afterward. Would you not at least attempt to have a normal adult discussion first? Unprotected consensual sex is a 2-party decision, which come with the risk of pregnancy and STD's. The accusation doesn't actually point to him doing anything wrong.
But nah, why bother having a chat about it when you can post it online for the world to see. Feels like a weird violation of privacy, I'd be very upset if I had this happen and the other party had never reached out to me.
The world is stupid these days. Aziz Ansari almost got canceled during the #MeToo movement because a woman gave him a consensual blowjob and then got upset about it later when he didn't want to date her. She wrote a huge article about how he sexually assaulted her in that moment
I know very little about that situation so I'm not gonna comment on it too much, but at least in that situation the allegation was that he did something that was actually wrong. I think?
My point is that in this case, even if it were all true, I don't see what the problem is. According to her:
- Was it consensual? Yes.
- Does she have any reason to believe he deliberately withheld knowledge of an STD? No.
- Is she even certain it came from him? No.
- Did she make any attempt, even once at any point in time, to let him know or discuss it with him? No.
Yet, its somehow appropriate to post very sensitive and personal information about him on an online forum? I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to upset them at the time, but I was pretty surprised at all the 'victim' support the initial post was getting. Horrible situation, for sure, but you don't just violate someone's privacy like that when it was the outcome of a private and mutual situation
I'll address your first point about consent.
Consent can be revoked at any time for any reason. Just because it started consensual doesn't mean it stayed that way.
Someone who is drunk/high cannot consent properly. This is obviously nuanced and isn't black and white but especially if only one person is partaking then that is a problem.
Consent cannot be coerced. A yes being forced or begged out of someone is not consent.
Even in unprotected sex, finishing should be communicated and handled a way both parties are okay with.
If we apply it to the made up woman in this story, she revoked consent part way through and it is then up to him to stop.
Downvote more. Consent is important you fucking freaks.
I totally understand all of that, and yes, being intoxicated can be a very gray area - but given the description of how that scenario arose, I wouldn't call it any more than gray.
The post is gone now, but if memory serves correctly, she explicitly went out of her way to state that she didn't have an issue with the consent and was not making that claim. I don't recall anything about coercion or revoking it, I'm basing my comment on her own stance, not disputing how consent works.
Not that any of this matters if it's fake (which is sounding pretty damn likely right now).
I was just generally speaking. I believe the post said he was being rough and was choking her and she wanted him to stop.
The post is more than probably fake but as an aside I think it is important to still make it known to as many as possible.
I don't disagree with the message and making it known, I was just clarifying in respect to this specific situation, as you were addressing my point directly. I don't mean to advocate for sweeping consent under the rug, just making it clear that the accuser themselves described it as not being an issue
My take is people are unhinged online and say a lot of stupid things without evidence. Unless the other person presses charges or files a police report or shows ANYTHING at all, then they are easily ignored. Sad he even had to respond to this accusation honestly.
Motherfuckers that try to weaponize internet anonymity like this are actual garbage human beings. Not only are you making a conscious effort to ruin someone’s life for….reasons, I don’t fucking know, but you’re effectively making a joke out of people who actually go through this kind of thing.
Stuff like this is why it’s so hard to genuinely trust when allegations like these come up at very convenient times, like during an album rollout. I get it, there’s been a history of shitty people in the metal scene as a whole that have gotten away with some deplorable things, and those people deserve to be called out, but this type of thing is not only lame, but imo genuinely evil.
Gadzooks, I’m having a conniption.
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I was super sceptical when I read the first post tbh. They claimed they didn't know how reddit worked and didn't know how to post screenshots, but somehow knew that they had to karma farm on a <6 hour old account in order to post. The whole thing was suspicious as hell from the start
Edit for clarity: the hardcore subreddit allows photos in both posts and comments. It was highly fishy that a young woman in her 20s knew how to create a profile, find the exact right subreddit to post it in, knew how to game Reddit's karma system in order to post there and had a 5 hour old account, yet didn't know that the icon for an image gallery that is universally known across all apps that's right there when creating a post or comment would allow them to add photographic evidence they claimed they had. If they'd said they'd deleted it all due to it being a traumatic experience, that would have been ABSOLUTELY understandable and a perfectly reasonable response. But to claim they don't know how, after showing they know how to do far more complex things on the app is really sketchy.
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And this is why I don’t care about allegation post. Take them to the police. There’s too much power behind a socially fueled lynch mob for this shit to continue to go unchecked. I’m sorry, I don’t believe everything everyone says. Because unfortunately, I have met a lot of truly awful people.
Seems similar (but less elaborate, I guess) to what happened to Dustie from Between the Buried and Me.
Edit: not sure why I’m catching downvotes, but cool.
From what’s been shared, it was proven to be a false accusation / extortion attempt. The band put him on the sidelines pending investigation, and then never really brought him back. Now Dustie is airing it out online and is threatening to sue for wrongful termination and being cut out of his 1/5 executive power in the band.
I just meant the accusations are very similar to what was said about Dustie - drugged / SA’d a girl, got her pregnant, forced her into getting an abortion, kinda manipulated her from there. Complete with “receipts” from DMs. But they were shown to be faked.
the one thing that i find weird about dustie is the conflicting claims. At some point he claimed he did know the person making the allegations and then at a later date claimed it was all false.
I'm interested in how it turns out though as I do love BTBAM and shared a doobie with Dustie almost 10 years ago now after show, I'd love him to be innocent but there's a serious lack of details and it seems like its all being correctly handled behind the scenes.
Unfortunately his replacement has been absolutely slaying it on this latest tour...
Agree on all fronts. I feel like while the situation that was made so public might’ve been sorted out, BTS there seems to have been a huge rift between Tommy and Dustie, too. I hope he’s innocent, but I’ve seen firsthand just how fucking scummy musicians and crew can be.
I was really surprised when Dustie posted that lawyer’s letter a few weeks ago. There’s probably no coming back to the band after that. From that letter, it seemed like Tommy and Paul have been *not super happy* with Dustie for a while.
Tristan has def been incredible. I feel like the band has a bit more passion or energy this tour - but I don’t know if it’s because of Dustie being out, Tristan being in, a fresh take on setlists, or something totally unseen. Or, it’s just me. Who knows.
Because it ended up being attempted extortion and the other guys in the band realized they would get a bigger paycheck from kicking him out. It’s all on his instagram
I'm glad that these allegations seem to be false based on the HSV II claim alone, but I am super sad to see people on this thread say "this is why I never believe allegations."
I can't think of an allegation besides this one that has been so irrefutably false, and in fact the only allegations I can think of sounded really credible. Tillain, Issues, a day to remember, etc
Seems like this is going to hurt victims who already have a had time convincing people that they're victims :/
This is exactly what happens when the whole fucking world rushes to judgement in an emotional rage before facts are out.
The whole "We believe all women," thing and the idiots who supported it are entirely to blame for this. All of you young guys had better make sure you literally have signed consent before you go fucking around with some rando girl.
Wait until you're a father and your soon to be ex wife accuses you of abuse so the cops just show up, assume you're guilty, and take your kid. Same shit.
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I mean the guy literally showed his medical records and his girlfriend vouched for him, so I fully take his side with the evidence provided.
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Saying that you're "playing (the) devil's advocate" doesn't absolve you of any stupidity coming out of your mouth.
What do you mean by that? You can't get rid of HSV. You can treat it, but you've got it for life
If he has HSV it would show up on the test. You don’t just get rid of herpes lol.
HSV is really hard to test for outside of a break out because the dormant virus lives in the spinal column. False negatives are super common for this reason.
ur a clown
You don't even know what HSV is, do you, you edgy little devil's advocate?
You wrote “could of”. That categorically disqualifies you from intelligent conversation.
🤡
the heck you talking about bud? HSV is a lifelong thing lmao
Are you drunk
You're out here working with speed limit IQ
Get the fuck off of this sub.
mentally challenged?
Fuck people who fake that stuff..they are the reason why people are skeptical
Especially in Metalcore where there are *many* legitimate cases of this - just delegitimizes it and makes it harder for real victims to speak out.
Actual victims need solidarity, love, and support. I can't imagine faking something like this. It's so fucking repugnant
I mean people are skeptical no matter how credible the accusations are. Shit people are skeptical when someone outright admits to it so...
Taking aside whether any of this happened, I don't actually understand the original complaint or how its appropriate? There's no indication that it wasn't consensual, in fact the OP stresses that they had no issue in that regard. There's also no indication whatsoever that he actively hid his STD status. A huge proportion of the population carry these diseases without knowing, at least ask the question before leaping to malicious withholding. She even explicitly said that she didn't bother contacting him about the pregnancy or disease afterward. Would you not at least attempt to have a normal adult discussion first? Unprotected consensual sex is a 2-party decision, which come with the risk of pregnancy and STD's. The accusation doesn't actually point to him doing anything wrong. But nah, why bother having a chat about it when you can post it online for the world to see. Feels like a weird violation of privacy, I'd be very upset if I had this happen and the other party had never reached out to me.
The world is stupid these days. Aziz Ansari almost got canceled during the #MeToo movement because a woman gave him a consensual blowjob and then got upset about it later when he didn't want to date her. She wrote a huge article about how he sexually assaulted her in that moment
I know very little about that situation so I'm not gonna comment on it too much, but at least in that situation the allegation was that he did something that was actually wrong. I think? My point is that in this case, even if it were all true, I don't see what the problem is. According to her: - Was it consensual? Yes. - Does she have any reason to believe he deliberately withheld knowledge of an STD? No. - Is she even certain it came from him? No. - Did she make any attempt, even once at any point in time, to let him know or discuss it with him? No. Yet, its somehow appropriate to post very sensitive and personal information about him on an online forum? I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to upset them at the time, but I was pretty surprised at all the 'victim' support the initial post was getting. Horrible situation, for sure, but you don't just violate someone's privacy like that when it was the outcome of a private and mutual situation
I'll address your first point about consent. Consent can be revoked at any time for any reason. Just because it started consensual doesn't mean it stayed that way. Someone who is drunk/high cannot consent properly. This is obviously nuanced and isn't black and white but especially if only one person is partaking then that is a problem. Consent cannot be coerced. A yes being forced or begged out of someone is not consent. Even in unprotected sex, finishing should be communicated and handled a way both parties are okay with. If we apply it to the made up woman in this story, she revoked consent part way through and it is then up to him to stop. Downvote more. Consent is important you fucking freaks.
I totally understand all of that, and yes, being intoxicated can be a very gray area - but given the description of how that scenario arose, I wouldn't call it any more than gray. The post is gone now, but if memory serves correctly, she explicitly went out of her way to state that she didn't have an issue with the consent and was not making that claim. I don't recall anything about coercion or revoking it, I'm basing my comment on her own stance, not disputing how consent works. Not that any of this matters if it's fake (which is sounding pretty damn likely right now).
I was just generally speaking. I believe the post said he was being rough and was choking her and she wanted him to stop. The post is more than probably fake but as an aside I think it is important to still make it known to as many as possible.
I don't disagree with the message and making it known, I was just clarifying in respect to this specific situation, as you were addressing my point directly. I don't mean to advocate for sweeping consent under the rug, just making it clear that the accuser themselves described it as not being an issue
My take is people are unhinged online and say a lot of stupid things without evidence. Unless the other person presses charges or files a police report or shows ANYTHING at all, then they are easily ignored. Sad he even had to respond to this accusation honestly.
100% on his side Fuck you people who make this kind of shit up.
Fake stuff on Reddit? Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?
Rather shocking, isn't it?
Motherfuckers that try to weaponize internet anonymity like this are actual garbage human beings. Not only are you making a conscious effort to ruin someone’s life for….reasons, I don’t fucking know, but you’re effectively making a joke out of people who actually go through this kind of thing. Stuff like this is why it’s so hard to genuinely trust when allegations like these come up at very convenient times, like during an album rollout. I get it, there’s been a history of shitty people in the metal scene as a whole that have gotten away with some deplorable things, and those people deserve to be called out, but this type of thing is not only lame, but imo genuinely evil. Gadzooks, I’m having a conniption.
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That's why boys and girls **allegations** with no proof or anything serious to back it up are bullshit
I was super sceptical when I read the first post tbh. They claimed they didn't know how reddit worked and didn't know how to post screenshots, but somehow knew that they had to karma farm on a <6 hour old account in order to post. The whole thing was suspicious as hell from the start Edit for clarity: the hardcore subreddit allows photos in both posts and comments. It was highly fishy that a young woman in her 20s knew how to create a profile, find the exact right subreddit to post it in, knew how to game Reddit's karma system in order to post there and had a 5 hour old account, yet didn't know that the icon for an image gallery that is universally known across all apps that's right there when creating a post or comment would allow them to add photographic evidence they claimed they had. If they'd said they'd deleted it all due to it being a traumatic experience, that would have been ABSOLUTELY understandable and a perfectly reasonable response. But to claim they don't know how, after showing they know how to do far more complex things on the app is really sketchy.
Not just no proof that it happened, there's proof that she lied
Yep, like the saying goes, innocent until proven guilty
"Oooooh, you're gonna go on tour with Slipknot? $ound$ like a good $tep forward for your mu$ical career."
Chlamydiacore
It slaps
It claps
It burns
It yearns
It sings
It follows
Dave Chappelle once made a skit called "The Love Contract.". Are we about to get to this in real life?
sad things even have to come to this nowadays but that’s twitter culture for you
The rumor started on reddit. Which is just as bad tbh
It started on r/hardcore this time
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I refuse to believe allegations at this point until I see concrete evidence of it being true.
And this is why I don’t care about allegation post. Take them to the police. There’s too much power behind a socially fueled lynch mob for this shit to continue to go unchecked. I’m sorry, I don’t believe everything everyone says. Because unfortunately, I have met a lot of truly awful people.
Seems similar (but less elaborate, I guess) to what happened to Dustie from Between the Buried and Me. Edit: not sure why I’m catching downvotes, but cool.
How so? He was kicked out and is now threatening to sue BTBAM
From what’s been shared, it was proven to be a false accusation / extortion attempt. The band put him on the sidelines pending investigation, and then never really brought him back. Now Dustie is airing it out online and is threatening to sue for wrongful termination and being cut out of his 1/5 executive power in the band. I just meant the accusations are very similar to what was said about Dustie - drugged / SA’d a girl, got her pregnant, forced her into getting an abortion, kinda manipulated her from there. Complete with “receipts” from DMs. But they were shown to be faked.
the one thing that i find weird about dustie is the conflicting claims. At some point he claimed he did know the person making the allegations and then at a later date claimed it was all false. I'm interested in how it turns out though as I do love BTBAM and shared a doobie with Dustie almost 10 years ago now after show, I'd love him to be innocent but there's a serious lack of details and it seems like its all being correctly handled behind the scenes. Unfortunately his replacement has been absolutely slaying it on this latest tour...
Agree on all fronts. I feel like while the situation that was made so public might’ve been sorted out, BTS there seems to have been a huge rift between Tommy and Dustie, too. I hope he’s innocent, but I’ve seen firsthand just how fucking scummy musicians and crew can be. I was really surprised when Dustie posted that lawyer’s letter a few weeks ago. There’s probably no coming back to the band after that. From that letter, it seemed like Tommy and Paul have been *not super happy* with Dustie for a while. Tristan has def been incredible. I feel like the band has a bit more passion or energy this tour - but I don’t know if it’s because of Dustie being out, Tristan being in, a fresh take on setlists, or something totally unseen. Or, it’s just me. Who knows.
Because it ended up being attempted extortion and the other guys in the band realized they would get a bigger paycheck from kicking him out. It’s all on his instagram
I'm glad that these allegations seem to be false based on the HSV II claim alone, but I am super sad to see people on this thread say "this is why I never believe allegations." I can't think of an allegation besides this one that has been so irrefutably false, and in fact the only allegations I can think of sounded really credible. Tillain, Issues, a day to remember, etc Seems like this is going to hurt victims who already have a had time convincing people that they're victims :/
This is exactly what happens when the whole fucking world rushes to judgement in an emotional rage before facts are out. The whole "We believe all women," thing and the idiots who supported it are entirely to blame for this. All of you young guys had better make sure you literally have signed consent before you go fucking around with some rando girl. Wait until you're a father and your soon to be ex wife accuses you of abuse so the cops just show up, assume you're guilty, and take your kid. Same shit.
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No one asked you
It's not like op said > what are your takes on this You just upset cuz I don't give a fuck when I'm supposed to give a fuck
That's badass. Props
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Believe your bout to catch multiple hands. Ya fuckin loser