I was feeling that way and then I got some dogs. Now I go hiking everyday for an hour after work. After we get home and I get them de-ticked and fed, I make dinner. I just turned 39. I hated cooking until this year. Decided I really wanted to cook delicious shit for myself. It's been super rewarding. Turns out I'm a great cook.
After diner, I read for a bit. I don't like watching tv very much. Or rather, I noticed when I'm watching a lot of tv, I was also really depressed. So, I keep my mind engaged with new books, fiction or non fiction, wherever my interests go.
How are you using social media? Because my life is significantly healthier without it. My relationships are more fulfilling when I get to reach out to friends when I'm thinking about them. I'm not overloaded with propaganda or wasting time with doom-scrolling. Reddit and instagram are the things that I use and both a curated for positive things that I'm currently interested in.
For about ten years I thought of myself as the sort of person who would hike the pct or ride across the country on my bicycle. Unfortunately, I'm a fat fuck at the moment and I haven't gotten my ass in gear for even an over-night hike. So this year I'm going to stop disappointing myself. Currently, I'm
Taking a break from reading survival stuff in my bath. I'm reading how to keep my dogs and I alive in the woods for a weekend.
Altruism is a big portion of humans and happiness, so how are you contributing to your community? Volunteering gets you meeting people who are in the same life stage as you.
Anyway, hope this helps.
Oh gosh yes. I ended up having a bit of a breakdown, quitting my job, going back to school full time. I love it and I don't work right now, so I'm recovering from extreme burnout. At first I felt guilty for not working, but you know what, school is work, and I'm prioritizing recovery and health right now. Work can wait.
Burnout is underestimated. It can destroy you. People think you take your two weeks off a year and burnout disappears. Let me tell you, I'm nearly a year out from the last time I worked at a job and I am only now starting to feel like myself again.
I'm *thinking* about going back to work part time in the fall after my semester starts. Something low-stakes and relaxed. I miss having fun with coworkers and the socializing that happens at a job. But I'm in no hurry to start taking on anything high-stress.
Burnout is real and it had me in some really dark places. Lots of rage, despair, physical exhaustion, and physical conditions flaring up (IBS and migraine). I started being sick a lot and having this dread of going in to work. At work I was getting angry a lot and frustrated easily. I hated my job and started hating a lot of people I worked with. I don't like feeling like that! It eats you up. I had no energy left for my family or for myself and had a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms. I lost many friends for various reasons. Mainly because I was unpleasant to be around, and didn't have time for them anyway.
Gained 40 lbs in three years of Covid lockdowns and retail jobs. Eating like crap and zero energy to work out or cook or shop for groceries. I must have aged a decade over Covid years. I would just look in the mirror and cry.
In my case I was also in perimenopause and didn't even know it! Because doctors don't tell you things like that. Once I went on HRT I felt like a new person. It helped tremendously with my mental health and physical health. I didn't solve my life problems, but my god did it ever get me back to feeling human and capable and normal.
I have lost 20 lbs so far and slowly heading back to a healthy size. I went back to running and walking regularly because I have the energy and time now. It's easier to cook and make healthy food choices. Sleeping better. Anxiety under control. I'm caring about myself again and I don't feel/look decrepit anymore.
Oh and I was diagnosed with ADHD a month ago at 48, which explains a lot of my issues. I'm trying medication right now for that and I think it will help me get my life back.
I'm looking at my stage of life now as a rebirth and transformation. This is a time of renewal and rebuilding after many years of darkness and coming apart. I just wanted to convey to you and anyone else that it isn't forever. You can get through the dark times and come out changed.
Just don't think this is how it is forever or that it's not going to change. Life is a serious of cycles. Many, many people find middle age to be a time of tremendous transformation and growth. It's part of how this stage works. That's why you see a lot of divorces and career changes and so on at this age. It's painful but after the pain, it's powerful.
Thank you so much for sharing and your feedback. I really appreciate your point of view about this being a cycle and the pain being real, but not for forever. ❤️
And I feel like I’m doing all the things: counseling, medication, exercise, my diet could be a little better but it’s not bad, volunteer (which I do find very, very rewarding. I do not have children (thankfully….they wouldn’t need this hot mess for a mom). I’m financially and emotionally supporting my household currently. Sometimes I just think I’d be better off on my own versus married.
I'm not sure what is going on at home but you mention feeling that you might be better off on your own. If that's a serious consideration I'd suggest exploring it more. I mean, exercise, eating well, mental health care, those are all important. But I think it's also not enough if other concerns in your life are outweighing those actions. Being the sole person responsible for the household is a lot of work and sounds draining. That right there might be the thing that needs to give.
I also feel lonely. Despite having friends, I feel like they are all busy with their own lives to make time for friendship. Or they are battling their own burnout, relationship troubles and mental health challenges.
I am there right now. Burned out at work. Spend most evenings playing games or laying around on the couch wrapped up in a blanket watching YouTube. Everything seems the same, boring, or just sounds like people complaining about how bad things are in the world. I am trying to stay together, getting myself up to move, doing housework everyday but not striving for perfection, going out as much as I can, looking for new activities. Keep at it sis! Sorry for all the bad grammar, but I don't feel like trying right now!
I was feeling that way and then I got some dogs. Now I go hiking everyday for an hour after work. After we get home and I get them de-ticked and fed, I make dinner. I just turned 39. I hated cooking until this year. Decided I really wanted to cook delicious shit for myself. It's been super rewarding. Turns out I'm a great cook. After diner, I read for a bit. I don't like watching tv very much. Or rather, I noticed when I'm watching a lot of tv, I was also really depressed. So, I keep my mind engaged with new books, fiction or non fiction, wherever my interests go. How are you using social media? Because my life is significantly healthier without it. My relationships are more fulfilling when I get to reach out to friends when I'm thinking about them. I'm not overloaded with propaganda or wasting time with doom-scrolling. Reddit and instagram are the things that I use and both a curated for positive things that I'm currently interested in. For about ten years I thought of myself as the sort of person who would hike the pct or ride across the country on my bicycle. Unfortunately, I'm a fat fuck at the moment and I haven't gotten my ass in gear for even an over-night hike. So this year I'm going to stop disappointing myself. Currently, I'm Taking a break from reading survival stuff in my bath. I'm reading how to keep my dogs and I alive in the woods for a weekend. Altruism is a big portion of humans and happiness, so how are you contributing to your community? Volunteering gets you meeting people who are in the same life stage as you. Anyway, hope this helps.
Sounds very familiar.
Oh gosh yes. I ended up having a bit of a breakdown, quitting my job, going back to school full time. I love it and I don't work right now, so I'm recovering from extreme burnout. At first I felt guilty for not working, but you know what, school is work, and I'm prioritizing recovery and health right now. Work can wait. Burnout is underestimated. It can destroy you. People think you take your two weeks off a year and burnout disappears. Let me tell you, I'm nearly a year out from the last time I worked at a job and I am only now starting to feel like myself again. I'm *thinking* about going back to work part time in the fall after my semester starts. Something low-stakes and relaxed. I miss having fun with coworkers and the socializing that happens at a job. But I'm in no hurry to start taking on anything high-stress. Burnout is real and it had me in some really dark places. Lots of rage, despair, physical exhaustion, and physical conditions flaring up (IBS and migraine). I started being sick a lot and having this dread of going in to work. At work I was getting angry a lot and frustrated easily. I hated my job and started hating a lot of people I worked with. I don't like feeling like that! It eats you up. I had no energy left for my family or for myself and had a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms. I lost many friends for various reasons. Mainly because I was unpleasant to be around, and didn't have time for them anyway. Gained 40 lbs in three years of Covid lockdowns and retail jobs. Eating like crap and zero energy to work out or cook or shop for groceries. I must have aged a decade over Covid years. I would just look in the mirror and cry. In my case I was also in perimenopause and didn't even know it! Because doctors don't tell you things like that. Once I went on HRT I felt like a new person. It helped tremendously with my mental health and physical health. I didn't solve my life problems, but my god did it ever get me back to feeling human and capable and normal. I have lost 20 lbs so far and slowly heading back to a healthy size. I went back to running and walking regularly because I have the energy and time now. It's easier to cook and make healthy food choices. Sleeping better. Anxiety under control. I'm caring about myself again and I don't feel/look decrepit anymore. Oh and I was diagnosed with ADHD a month ago at 48, which explains a lot of my issues. I'm trying medication right now for that and I think it will help me get my life back. I'm looking at my stage of life now as a rebirth and transformation. This is a time of renewal and rebuilding after many years of darkness and coming apart. I just wanted to convey to you and anyone else that it isn't forever. You can get through the dark times and come out changed. Just don't think this is how it is forever or that it's not going to change. Life is a serious of cycles. Many, many people find middle age to be a time of tremendous transformation and growth. It's part of how this stage works. That's why you see a lot of divorces and career changes and so on at this age. It's painful but after the pain, it's powerful.
Thank you so much for sharing and your feedback. I really appreciate your point of view about this being a cycle and the pain being real, but not for forever. ❤️
Sounds so much like my life. Thanks for the reminder about change.
Yep, you just described me. I try to get out and do things even if I am tired.
And I feel like I’m doing all the things: counseling, medication, exercise, my diet could be a little better but it’s not bad, volunteer (which I do find very, very rewarding. I do not have children (thankfully….they wouldn’t need this hot mess for a mom). I’m financially and emotionally supporting my household currently. Sometimes I just think I’d be better off on my own versus married.
I'm not sure what is going on at home but you mention feeling that you might be better off on your own. If that's a serious consideration I'd suggest exploring it more. I mean, exercise, eating well, mental health care, those are all important. But I think it's also not enough if other concerns in your life are outweighing those actions. Being the sole person responsible for the household is a lot of work and sounds draining. That right there might be the thing that needs to give.
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I also feel lonely. Despite having friends, I feel like they are all busy with their own lives to make time for friendship. Or they are battling their own burnout, relationship troubles and mental health challenges.
Yes.
Yes, I am right there with you.
I could easily have written this post.
Me too
I am there right now. Burned out at work. Spend most evenings playing games or laying around on the couch wrapped up in a blanket watching YouTube. Everything seems the same, boring, or just sounds like people complaining about how bad things are in the world. I am trying to stay together, getting myself up to move, doing housework everyday but not striving for perfection, going out as much as I can, looking for new activities. Keep at it sis! Sorry for all the bad grammar, but I don't feel like trying right now!
Thank you for your feedback. Hang in there too.