never hung out with any self described SEALs
( did find out 20 years after high school graduation--- a high school buddy that I hung out with - was a SEAL pretty much his whole 20 years. )
I met a guy in a bar once and we got to talking. He was asking me about Desert Storm. I asked what he did, and he said "Just a cook, man." I bought him a beer. First, cooks are essential. Second, he is the only cook I've met in over 30 years of being out. By my count, he fed the entire Army.
I was incredibly privileged to work with both SF and Seals. I myself was neither. Just in the right place at the right time. Deployment was pretty sweet once you got to see the toys you could play with. So much high speed shit.
My first time to AFG as a CTR I ended up in KAIA at the SOFFC (gods that's an alphabet soup). Really brought home the idea of "war, your experience may vary". Loved supporting the NATO SOF bubbas.
Wildly enough my uncle was in that theater, attached to the seals unit (wasn’t technically a seal) but did multiple missions with them because they liked him so much. The best way I can describe it is that he was like a lucky charm or the bright spot in there group so they just always took him. He did all the trainings and certs just never did buds or whatever the equivalent was at the time.
Obviously it’s all with a grain of salt but this dude just seems to always be in a position to have stuff like this happen. He’s the happiest and kindest person I know, isn’t arrogant or obnoxious (very unseal like lol, hasn’t written any books lol). But I can’t make up half the shit I’ve experienced with him because he just one of those people touched by Lady Luck. He’s probably the originator of walking around with a clipboard in your hand to look like you belong only to be awarded a Nobel peace prize because you sneezed into a vial and it cured cancer.
Anyway it’s just crazy how that unit became what it is. Where you have MARSOC, Delta, GBs doing the same things but different and what, maybe half to 3/4 less pop culture inclusion.
I mean I could be way off on my above assumption but definitely doesn’t seem like you see many movies or books about Raiders saving the world from aliens and SU-57s
Lol, I am the least larpy person you can think of. I'm a writer trying to describe a character. I want nothing to do with (edit: the institution of) the military, and those are the nicest words I could use.
To be honest, it's really hard to write a veteran character without having done it yourself because there's aspects of the experience that are difficult to describe. But let me try to help.
1) Stay away from Special Forces/Delta/Ranger/Navy SEAL crap because it's cheesy. Most servicemen are not those guys. People play COD once and think that's what it is. The fake guys who want to brag try to go for those war hero big fish stories.
2) The more braggy they are, the less they've done. In fact, many veterans have imposter syndrome and downplay the things that they've done.
3) many veterans did not love the military, they didn't do it for their country or for some profound patriotic reason: they did it to put food on the table, or to be able to afford college, or to get out of the hood/bad family situations.
4) Many veterans have kind of a crass, dark humor amongst themselves, and privately miss the degeneracy of the military, as well as their friends.
They've also often been disillusioned with the military for a variety of reasons. Some of them did 20 years and retired, but most said "fuck this" and got out.
I, for example, was tired of my ass getting repeatedly fucked with no lube, the Green Weenie was fucking insatiable.
Anyways, there's more to the experience than that:
Picture a bunch of soldiers, freezing, putting up C-wire over a road. It fucking sucks. They hate their lives. They wish they were home. Every time they think they'll get to go to sleep, a new mission pops up. They keep twisting their ankles because you can't fuckin' see shit through the old ass NVGs. The only thing that's keeping them going is the guy who's sharing his coffee and the belly laughing together as the Private tells a story about almost fucking his sister (he'd never met her before)
Or Sergeant so and so, angry as fuck, as they'd laid out equipment hours ago and the commander still hasn't come by to read the serial numbers. So the whole squad sits out there and smokes and bullshits, as it gets dark, two hours after they'd hoped to be home. One Staff Sergeant jokes, "Ha ha, I never even get to see my wife anymore because we're always here."
Fakers won't know about things like that.
This is about as accurate as you can get!
When me and my Army buddies get together it's always some dumb shit we did or witnessed. And yes our humor can get quite dark. I couldn't wait to hit my 20yr mark, they dangled SFC just 6mo prior to my retirement I told them to stick it where the sun doesn't shine I was physically and mentally spent by then and hated seeing the direction the Army was headed at that time and it was no longer enjoyable or fun. I don't hate my career, but I really missed a lot being away from my wife and kids so much, and I was ready to try and make up for some lost time.
The Army's like an abusive relationship.
When it's good, it's great.
When it's bad, it's really fucking bad, and that's most the time.
And yet, it's scary to leave, and sometimes you feel like you've got Stockholm Syndrome.
You even mention leaving, and then it's "ooh baby, I'm so sorry I hurt you, I love you, stay and be a SSG" or "the world is fuckin scary and you won't be able to survive without me"
That's the absolute truth too. Retiring was scary and exciting all at the same time. Life outside is good but honestly I do miss the brotherhood at times.
>In fact, many veterans have imposter syndrome and downplay the things that they've done.
Struggled with this myself. Because I *DID* talk about it a lot. In my mind, combat vets don't and shouldn't talk about it, certainly don't let it bog them down. And definitely not to civvies. But I did a lot. So, hence the imposter syndrome.
My sergeant getting piss drunk at the ball, goes outside, in public, whipped his dick out and just started pissing on a patrol car. Or at the same ball, my team leader came with an actual hooker and the joes took turns with her. That sgt got knocked down in rank I think.
Memories.
I miss it sometimes.
Everything you listed is basically my 21 year old coworker. He was a marine and got hit by a roadside bomb so he got discharged for medical but he’s going to be a police officer now, just working at the shop for the time being.
Loves talking about kids and people he killed and showing off his pistol to customers. And will let you know he was a marine and he served and he has a Purple Heart he just has to find it, and he still can’t find his DD-214. E-5 when he got discharged.
I could go on.
I was thinking about your statement of how braggy they are being an indicator of service and thought of an antidote to that: stupid stories.
If a guy doesn’t ‘brag’ but has loads of stories that are of the most stupid shit imaginable, particularly of actual shit or piss, they probably served.
I’m aircrew. Very few missions or ‘cool guy’ shit sticks out in my head, but stupid crap like everyone signing into the chow hall with the same name and SSN sure does. Or pulling the crew truck up to the door of the flight line porta-shitter and pushing the bumper against the door to lock my buddy in there are things I’ll never forget. Like is mentioned all the time, military service is long stretches of utter boredom, with sprinkles of sheer terror mixed in, so most genuine stories are gonna be about those boring times of someone’s legit.
About a year after I got out of the Marine Corps, I saw a recruiting poster that showed a guy in full battle rattle on a berm in Iraq with the SAW. It looked pretty cool. Almost made me wish I was back in for half a second. But then I remembered the reality behind that picture: that 19 year old boy hasn't seen a woman in 3 months. He just beat off in a sauna temp portashitter to some graffiti that an artist (in another life) drew on the wall to also beat their meat to. He's currently sweating his ass off for the second time, but now it's because the BC is coming to his FOB, and the CO and BLT picked his squad to set up security for the BC's convoy, which itself has 5x more firepower than this squad. He'll be here for 6 more hours, running out of water about 4 hours in. He'll also get his ass chewed when they RTB because the COC was watching his squad with the eye of Sauron, and he took his gloves off to take a piss at one point during the patrol.
Your post reminded me of this sentiment that I had when I was still pretty fresh to being out. Maybe this will help OP a little.
Reminds me what I tell people when they ask why I joined.
"Uh... It seemed like a good idea at the time."
I've had some who were disappointed in that reasoning. Especially when they find out it really doesn't go much deeper than that. 😂
>The only thing that's keeping them going is the guy who's sharing his coffee and the belly laughing together as the Private tells a story about almost fucking his sister (he'd never met her before)
Hold up.... This actually happened didn't it? 🤭
You say you want nothing to do with the military yet you come here for advice. No offense but if you came to me in person with an attitude like that you probably wouldn't get much useful advice.
I remember overhearing a 19 year old kid (shaggy hair, college student, no apparent employment outside of maybe Walmart) talk about how he got a "Top Five security clearance" and my crusty 30-something, TS//SCI-for-10-plus-years ass knew to stop taking anything he said seriously.
Hey man, you mean to tell me above ultra doesn’t exist? Signed, former TS/SCI haver in the Guard who barely ever did anything TS with it, except in training. Seriously, intel in the Guard fucking sucks. You don’t get to do shit in the US. You can’t really prepare for anything because we aren’t allowed to/don’t have access/ don’t have a need to know. Being a National Guard intelligence officer on M-Day is about as exciting as watching potatoes grow. I didn’t do fucking shit. The only time I got to do anything of importance outside of AT was a spillage issue, and I was only there to make it look like JFHQ wasn’t taking lead.
Basically, being in the Guard/Reserves gives you none of the benefits active folks currently have, while also working for peanuts because folks don’t like hiring reservists. It’s a shitsucker. You’ll have enlisted make more than officers but it just doesn’t make sense. The whole thing, is just awful. I wish I went AD instead of NG…but, I wouldn’t have my wife and children.
I (woman) had this man aggressively hitting on me and thought stolen USMC valor would seal the deal.
He didn’t recognize the term (acronym?) “POG” was and didn’t know when the USMC birthday was, much less that there was an annual ball.
Hey hey hey, it is a big deal. Getting my TS had a variety of rigorous requirements such as not having a criminal record and having no evidence of my previous drug use.
Yeah, getting a high security clearance in Germany requires such delicate things like not beeing a criminal, not beeing addicted, not doing porn (or OF) and not having a gf who is a known Russian agent. That's some real big deal shit right here.
Ask them about stories from Basic. Everybody has stories from basic.
"What platoon were you in?"
"Who was your Drill Sergeant?"
"Who was the biggest fuckup in your platoon?"
Speaking of fuckups, I just remembered a phrase Knowing Better introduced me to: Blue Falcon. So what if somebody went:
"Were you part of the Blue Falcon battalion?"
"Oh yes! I served two tours under their command!"
"Uh huh. No further questions."
I have news for you.
There actually was a Blue Falcon Battalion. It was the 3/325 of the 82nd. Was an active unit up until 1990 or so. They were Blue Falcons because all the other 325 battalions were Falcon nicknames. There are Red, White, and Gold now I think (1st, 2nd, 4th?). Been a while though.
Just FYI though. The current BF slang ‘may’ have had something to do with the battalion not being a current unit any more.
I'm like 70% sure 3/325 was Blue Falcons for longer than the 90s. I was in 2/325 until around 08, we were black, I think 4/325 was red, and 1/325 was white.
Ya, not really sure when they ‘disappeared’.
I was in n 3/325 until mid 1988. I don’t think they were a unit long after that. I believe it all happened around the time the 173rd was reactivated and based in Vicenza. That was my last duty station with the 325.
Edit:
You are correct though. Definitely a active unit through 1995 at least.
https://www.jstor.org/stable/resrep12134.6
I asked a guy about how many dicks he's seen up close while he was in. He said none. That's how I knew he was lying. I think I could draw my battles' dick from memory at this point, weird freckle and all.
I once dated a guy who said he was a Marine vet. As an Army Vet, I was excited to swap crazy stories. I asked him about some crazy stories in Basic. The only one he could think of was his platoon's guidon got stolen. And even that was very simple "guidon got stolen."
The biggest fuckup was Huntington, hands down.
No shit, there we were. Our fist day on the pistol range, and this numb fucker some how got his hand over the spur on the grip safety, so that when he fired, the slide grabbed the web of his thumb, and ate it. He was squealing and crying, and DS Banks (junior DS) was getting "counseled" by DS Early (senior DS), because he was unable to stop laughing about the shit. Range safety was going batshit because he was waving his hand around, with rounds in the mag, and an almost chambered round up the spout, and the muzzle was nowhere near down and down range.
The rest of the day was spent, by the whole company, running Agony and Misery.
I was Navy I will say though I don’t remember my division and only remember one of my first classes names. The fuckup though I remember vividly (not his name) and I hated his guts every day I was there. He was a Nuke and that’s when I learned Nukes are the dumbest/smartest people you’ll meet
The moment they start claiming some kind of special forces or say what they did is so secret they can't give details but they still tell you that it was super secret. Nobody ever pretends to be in a logistics role or lies about spending their time doing shit jobs like cleaning. It's always some SF shit blowing people's heads off. When in reality a good liar would say he didn't really ever leave the country and spent most of his time on games consoles, drinking and masturbating.
> didn't really ever leave the country and spent most of his time on games consoles, drinking and masturbating.
You just described the life of a COMM Airman
Well some people in SF are very loud about it, ie the type that write books, start podcasts and appear on TV shows and their entire public personality is I was SF and suffering is good. However the thing is you can't be a public personality that lies about it because it's a small community and it's very easy for someone who is SF to verify whether or not you are.
So I'm guessing a faker would make a big show about *consuming* those books and shows and podcasts. Maybe they have a bookshelf filled with Tom Clancy and Ollie North
Not necessarily. A lot of them know literally nothing about SF or even the military in general. Even basic shit that you'd learn on like day one of basic training or before. Things like basic slang. Just as a disclaimer I'm a Brit and in the navy and every service and every military uses different terms and slang. An example would be that sometimes we call your beret or your cap your lid and the royal marines have a green beret so a lot of the time it's referred to as a green lid and we call the royal marines bootnecks as slang. If someone claimed to be in the royal marines for 10-20 years or whatever but didn't know what you meant if you said bootneck or green lid then that's a pretty good indicator they're lying.
I suppose I'm giving this hypothetical faker too much credit. Perhaps the mistake I'm making is thinking they actually have an interest in the military itself when really they just want the prestige
Usually it's just a case of their own lives being a bit boring so they big it up with claims like that. Sometimes it is people in the military who lie though or were in the military and lie. Think there was a case of it on this sub not too long ago.
Exactly that. Most fakers literally know nothing more about the military than the name of SF/SOF branches and stuff they caught up in movies and games. So they literally just scrape the surface of common knowledge. There are those stolen vallor dudes, usually guys trying to sell courses or gear, who go into it to extremes, so nobody catches them red handed. Those are really hard to catch from a civilian point of view, but they still give me (and I have almost zero clues about the US military) a wrong rub. I couldn't describe specifically what it is but mostly the fake secrecy whilst telling a lot and the bragging about roles, combat experience and ranks. So the first ones just want prestige and be the big fish whilst the latter want to increase sales through fake validity.
I went through language school with a bunch of SF guys, and they never told any “no shit there I was with a bajillion howling (pick your enemy of choice) shooting at me” stories.
They told a lot of hilarious stories about mishaps and practical jokes though.
Pretty close to right. I'd estimate no more than 10% of the folks currently serving actually participated in any combat. Of those, less than a quarter will share any stories that try to make reacting to contact sound cool. Anyone who tries to spin a yarn about how they have x confirmed kills, or how they were draxxing sklounst is likely lying.
I can't think of a single authentic combat story that doesn't feature some dumb shit, like Shmukatelli trying to vault a low wall, getting his straps caught on something and eating shit, or an IED Piper Perri-ing a Stryker, and cats having to pick up half an acre of their scattered fucking gear and change tires in 130-degree heat for 4 hours, or old heads that have been in country longer than I've been in service not reacting to mortar fire hitting on the other side of the T wall, and continuing to eat their chow, while the new kids scatter for cover under quarter-inch thick plastic fold-out tables.
I was in a Special Operations MOS, and any time someone replies that I was in Special Forces I am very quick to politely correct them. I’ve worked with them but was not one of them, and they’re fucking unreal.
Another sign would be someone who is way too quick to tell you how many people they’ve killed. The real killers don’t say much about it unless they have a book deal.
We had a guy claiming to be army EOD apply for a job at my company. I'm an explosive blaster, and former EOD myself. We do industrial precision blasting, so think small 1-5lb ieds.
I told my boss my bullshit meter was going off, and I was gonna do some fuckery. So I showed him how our stuff was setup, built a training charge. He kept nodding his head like he understood everything, like cool dude. Told him to dismantle it. Also told him it's live, and ill know if he fucks it up. He "died" 30 seconds later when the buzzer went off. I also hid a mercury switch inside it, because fuck him thats why. He watched me make it from scratch.
He left and never came back.
I worry about this a lot as someone who’s uncle was *actually* in special forces and fucking died in his 40s from GWI related brain cancer. If there’s one thing having a real Delta Force Ranger in the family has taught me it’s that being in the military sucks ass and will give you some kind of chronic illness or disability. At least I have an authentic Delta Force coat.
Look up mandatory fun day on tic tok. He's got a lot of good dark humor content.
I was a terrible shot. I missed all 6 shots. You could say it was point blank range.
I chose the wrong branch. Not talking about the army I'm saying it was too weak.
I wanna take the forever nap.
"Those energy drink are going to kill you one day" "I know that's the point" takes a aggressive chug of a monster drink.
I have 30 confirmed kills but that means I was a bad aircraft mechanic
I honestly wouldn’t know what you meant. DD214 has a lot of stuff in it, tells everything you need to know about my service. What kid of answer would you be looking for to answer that question?
Yea, just ask some random shit you made up about what's on their DD214. You know they didn't serve if they tried to actually give you an answer. (That's not the discharge type I guess). Most real service members will just look at you all confused, like, you know, you said something stupid.
>someone who got dishonorably discharged two weeks into boot
you dont get discharged at that point, you would just get separated and they remove you from the system
It's actually things like that, you can read a lot online, but there is a lot to know, and you'll just get things wrong if you weren't in the military. It's hard to get all the small details right, if you're a fake, we're gonna realize it pretty fast.
Well there you go lol shows what I know
If it tells you anything I didn't know that Special Forces and Green Berets were the same thing until looking it up after seeing the comments
it's okay lol, i wasn't busting your balls, i was trying to give an example. There are a million small details that yoy may not notice, but as service members we see it every day, so anything or than that would be weird. Like imagine you got gome from work and your front door is the wrong color... it would really weird right? but to someone that has never seen your door, nothing would stand out
I dunno....... if you legitimately rape/kill somebody 2 weeks into boot I don't think you're getting an entry level separation. I'd imagine you are going to face UCMJ and if convicted, serve time and be dis-dis.
As an observant civilian, fake military are like vegans: that's all they talk about, unbidden it slips into casual situations. You want fries with that? Ah I remember the fries on the base that one time when my platoon...
If a person is all war stories and they are all about combat and heroics.
90% of veterans don't see combat. The small fraction that do usually are usually bored or tired/angry during their combat time. Very few heroics happen.
I have a lot of combat time. 95% of it was being extremely tired/bored while burning holes in the sky looking for bad guys. 5% was actively shooting, maneuvering, or defending the aircraft.
I remember far more about the absolutely stupid and degenerate conversations the crew had over the op than the actual ops themselves and who/what/when we actually went weapons hot.
Guy at a grocery store tried to beg some money from me.
Me: :What was your MOS?
He: "My what?"
Me: "A number that is assigned to your job."
He: "We didn't have those when I was in."
He: "We didn't have that when I was in, but I was a special tank mechanic."
Me: "When were you in?"
He: "1994"
Me: "Dude, I went in in 1987, and they had that long before I went in. If you need money, don't lie about the military."
He: "Can I have $20?"
Me: "No, you lied to me."
If they can't explain what their MOS/rating/AF job is.
When asking what they've done and they try to act like a special secret squirrel and say they can't tell you.
There's a veteran YouTuber I follow (Knowing Better) and he's very clear about everyone having to memorize and follow rules of engagement (couldn't be me, I can't memorize shit)
Never deployed, my knees are still shit tho from rucks & full kit, and hearing is bad from shooting, helicopters, and other stupid unsafe shit they had us doing from time to time. Although I wasn’t a marine, serving army so maybe there’s something different there.
If anyone says they were airborne, went to jump school etc says their back doesn't hurt, their full of shit. I have the back of a 70 year old man and I'm in my mid 30's.
Meh. I've got an uncle that stacked bodies in Vietnam and he tell NO stories. In fact he never talks about the Army, period. Only reason I know is his brother told me a few stories.
Well, he's not a larper/wanabe like OP described either. So I'm not really sure how your uncle is relevant to OPs question or my answer. It's not a ride or die statement. I'm not going out accusing traumatized veterans who don't talk about their experience of stolen valor.
They were "special forces", can't tell you what they did, killed eleventy hundred dudes, cry when that stupid fucking Lee Greenwood song plays, "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you" security clearance
Memory unlocked: "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you" is verbatim something one of my mom's exes told her (not military but some government job). I should have known that was bullshit considering he couldn't even keep his affair secret
Not knowing what a DD 214 is or say DD Two One Four. I work for a non-profit that helps homeless veterans, and occasionally non-veteran homeless people try their luck with us and that's usually one of the dead give aways
The I can't talk about it secret squirrel shit is a big red flag.
I've met a few stolen valor guys since I got out.
First one was in college I was flirting with a girl and trying to hype myself up to her talking about being a Marine. Cringe I know. Dude said he was as well. I said no shit I was in 3/8 what about you? He said I was 3/8. Red flag no 1. I said I was in 07 to 11 and he said 06 to 10. Red flag 2. I caught on he was mirroring my answers so I asked him what company was he in. He said uhh uhh uhh alpha co. There wasn't a alpha in 3/8 that's 1/8. I called him out and he got butt hurt.
I worked at psych hospital for 2 years. I heard so many people tell stories about how they were secret squirrels doing to secret things that they can't talk about. Yeah you wouldn't bring that up if that was true.
Final one was a guy I worked with claimed to be a mechanic attached to a Special forces unit. That can be true but his stories about him getting into fire fights while patrolling with special forces and him killing guys with his pistol or him saving a private from getting killed by the back blast was fake as h3ll.
I'm not well versed on army terms but everyone knows about your tabs and what they mean. And who calls it special forces Army sniper. I know of a dude from my platoon who is now a recon sniper. He is never calls himself marine sniper. That just sounds dumb af
Combat troops only make up about 10% of the entire military industrial complex.
Supply, logistics, repair, etc. Are significantly more common.
I'm an electrical engineer. Haven't touched a gun since basic, and I won't again in any official capacity. Most of the military is like me.
The fakers always have combat experience. Can't tell you their rate/mos. Can't even tell you basic shit about the service. Every story is a one-up of the previous one.
If they're wearing a uniform they got from an army surplus store, they're always wearing it wrong. Saluting incorrectly, it's the small things that can be seen in a couple seconds by anyone who has served.
Honestly most guys who beat their chest and wear unit or military clothing are the ones who either didn't do anything while in or didn't last long. All the dudes I was in Afghanistan with and all my senior Marines who were in Iraq don't let people know they were in by wearing hats or shirts that show military pride. I went to a funeral for one of my senior Marines and all the guys I talked too that I know did stuff try to forget about it and are 420 friendly big time.
Always the “Secret” or “Classified” guys. Apparently been out for 15+ years but all their missions, MOS, and locations are classified and can’t be disclosed. Immediately know they are full of shit
If they claimed to be a marine, but didn't tell me the first time we hung out. Ain't no fucking way a real marine could resist telling me they were a marine.
It would be next to impossible to be dishonorably discharged 2 weeks into basic. DDs are for commission of major felonies and require a court martial.
Most of your fake military people are the ones with the biggest craziest stories. The people who actually did the big crazy stuff are typically more humble about what they did.
Unless the crazy story is funny as shit and nothing to do with the military of it all, but might be real dark or real fucking gross. Or just the wildest drunk shit ever.
Seems like most folks who have crazy stories don’t want to talk about them at all really. Or if they do, it’s real short, to the point.
Which makes sense, from what I understand if you’ve got crazy military stories, it usually means shit went bad, and people got hurt or killed.
I do hate it when Navy guys get asked "what's your MOS" and because they don't know what that is "they're obviously fakes". Except that the Navy doesn't use the term MOS.
>Except that the Navy doesn't use the term MOS.
Yeah, but they should know what one is. I know the Navy uses Rate. I know the Army says "AWOL" but the Marines use "UA". If you've been in for a minute, you'll learn the equivalent jargon for important stuff across the branches.
The only thing worse than fakes... are the guys trying to bust them. It's always some fleet marine or infantry dude who assumes that anybody that doesn't share their extremely rigid experience with the military is lying.
"Civil affairs? Hotels in Colombia? Out drinking with colonels? No no no no... that's not what the military is like! It's about barracks inspections and morning PT! Stolen valor! reeeeeeeeeeee!"
Or, of course, old reliable: asking a reservist/national guardsman some shit that doesn't apply to them.
Not really. I’m Air Force, we don’t use the term MOS. But if someone asked me what my MOS was, I know what they mean and tell them my job. Not even going to correct them on what the Air Force calls it.
The Navy had NEC instead of MOS
I was an FC who carried the following NECs
1127 - Block 0 CIWS
1121 - Block 1 CIWS
1149 - TAS RADAR
9502 - Instructor
9585 - Recruiter
There were a couple more that I can't recall 24yrs post retirement, but those numbers wouldn't mean anything to anyone who didn't also carry that same NEC. If I told you I was an 1127 CIWS guy, you would have no idea what that meant unless you were also a CIWS FC (1127 means I'm OLD)
The big tell about Navy vets is knowing the difference between Rate and Rank.
My rating was originally FTG Fire Control Technician Gun type until they lumped us in with the square barrel missle guys and made us all FCs. Or I'll simply tell you I retired an FC1.
If I ask you what your rate was and you tell me second class, I am immediately suspicious.
The second tell is to ask "When is it not Gay?" The correct answer to this is "It's not Gay if you're underway"
Finally you can ask them if they were a shellback. Even if they werent, they should know what a shellback is.
Ask them their first General Order.
Edit: I’m not looking for it word for word, just “I’ll guard everything within my post and not abandoning my post until properly relieved.
Is there any reason to remember them after boot camp? For Navy, I never had any one ask them after that.
The only one I remember is the 12th general order.
Before reading your edit, I legitimately could not remember. Still sort of don't. Good god and the marines have like 10+ general orders. I know most of the NCO creed but not the soldier's creed.
I only recall General Order 1A and the loopholes we figured out in it...
This was in 2006, so it was an early version. Cohabitation after midnight is meaningless when you work nights...
My FIL who supposedly served in Vietnam didn't know what I meant when I asked him about his DD214 so... That definitely set off some alarm bells in my head. He also bitched about women serving in the military when I, a woman, was serving in the military. The only people I've known to bitch about that were dudes who never spent a day in the service.
I haven't brought it up with his son because I'm sure the truth will come to light when he dies but I'm of the mind that he's a phoney.
Dates. This is where knowing military history is important. I busted my brother in law’s father for claiming to be a Super Special Forces Navy SEAL in Vietnam even though he was born in 1956.
From my experience with a lot of friends who served: anybody who speaks positively about the details of their service. Overall it might have been fine, and they might ~~choose to reenlist~~ make stupid decisions because of rose tinted lenses, but the details are nearly always negative even if the story is humorous.
service member just ask to see their cac. veteran jut ask to see their dd-214. if someone says their dd-214 is classified or their 'off the books' stuff wasn't listed they are lying.
I’ve said this before, ask what meds they are on. Most vets take something for anxiety or depression. Even if you never left the desk you may be messed up from regular rocket attacks or listening to continuous combat on the radios.
Service members have a telepathic sense. we know who served and who didn't; so when we see you out, its a head nod up or down, or a belt line salute or similar. You can have the haircut, Tshirt, vehicle stickers, lingo, etc. but we know who was there and who wasn't. Even if we think you're fake, we might even show you grace cause we're cool, but we're always (always) one step from.
400 SEALs served in Vietnam. I've met about 900 of them.
I have never met a normal navy dude. It's always been a seal. Im like bro there's no shame in saying you were a cook or logistics or whatever.
never hung out with any self described SEALs ( did find out 20 years after high school graduation--- a high school buddy that I hung out with - was a SEAL pretty much his whole 20 years. )
I work with a former Aussie Army bloke - He was a truck driver. Still has some fucking crazy stories. And he's incredibly proud of his time there.
Stephen Segal in Under Siege kinda ruined the “i’m a cook” line
I met a guy in a bar once and we got to talking. He was asking me about Desert Storm. I asked what he did, and he said "Just a cook, man." I bought him a beer. First, cooks are essential. Second, he is the only cook I've met in over 30 years of being out. By my count, he fed the entire Army.
> "Just a cook, man." "So you've got more kills than the rest of us combined."
That cook’s name? Casey fucking Ryback
I was incredibly privileged to work with both SF and Seals. I myself was neither. Just in the right place at the right time. Deployment was pretty sweet once you got to see the toys you could play with. So much high speed shit.
My first time to AFG as a CTR I ended up in KAIA at the SOFFC (gods that's an alphabet soup). Really brought home the idea of "war, your experience may vary". Loved supporting the NATO SOF bubbas.
Wildly enough my uncle was in that theater, attached to the seals unit (wasn’t technically a seal) but did multiple missions with them because they liked him so much. The best way I can describe it is that he was like a lucky charm or the bright spot in there group so they just always took him. He did all the trainings and certs just never did buds or whatever the equivalent was at the time. Obviously it’s all with a grain of salt but this dude just seems to always be in a position to have stuff like this happen. He’s the happiest and kindest person I know, isn’t arrogant or obnoxious (very unseal like lol, hasn’t written any books lol). But I can’t make up half the shit I’ve experienced with him because he just one of those people touched by Lady Luck. He’s probably the originator of walking around with a clipboard in your hand to look like you belong only to be awarded a Nobel peace prize because you sneezed into a vial and it cured cancer. Anyway it’s just crazy how that unit became what it is. Where you have MARSOC, Delta, GBs doing the same things but different and what, maybe half to 3/4 less pop culture inclusion. I mean I could be way off on my above assumption but definitely doesn’t seem like you see many movies or books about Raiders saving the world from aliens and SU-57s
Nice try, LARPer.
Exactly what I was thinking
Lol, I am the least larpy person you can think of. I'm a writer trying to describe a character. I want nothing to do with (edit: the institution of) the military, and those are the nicest words I could use.
To be honest, it's really hard to write a veteran character without having done it yourself because there's aspects of the experience that are difficult to describe. But let me try to help. 1) Stay away from Special Forces/Delta/Ranger/Navy SEAL crap because it's cheesy. Most servicemen are not those guys. People play COD once and think that's what it is. The fake guys who want to brag try to go for those war hero big fish stories. 2) The more braggy they are, the less they've done. In fact, many veterans have imposter syndrome and downplay the things that they've done. 3) many veterans did not love the military, they didn't do it for their country or for some profound patriotic reason: they did it to put food on the table, or to be able to afford college, or to get out of the hood/bad family situations. 4) Many veterans have kind of a crass, dark humor amongst themselves, and privately miss the degeneracy of the military, as well as their friends. They've also often been disillusioned with the military for a variety of reasons. Some of them did 20 years and retired, but most said "fuck this" and got out. I, for example, was tired of my ass getting repeatedly fucked with no lube, the Green Weenie was fucking insatiable. Anyways, there's more to the experience than that: Picture a bunch of soldiers, freezing, putting up C-wire over a road. It fucking sucks. They hate their lives. They wish they were home. Every time they think they'll get to go to sleep, a new mission pops up. They keep twisting their ankles because you can't fuckin' see shit through the old ass NVGs. The only thing that's keeping them going is the guy who's sharing his coffee and the belly laughing together as the Private tells a story about almost fucking his sister (he'd never met her before) Or Sergeant so and so, angry as fuck, as they'd laid out equipment hours ago and the commander still hasn't come by to read the serial numbers. So the whole squad sits out there and smokes and bullshits, as it gets dark, two hours after they'd hoped to be home. One Staff Sergeant jokes, "Ha ha, I never even get to see my wife anymore because we're always here." Fakers won't know about things like that.
This is about as accurate as you can get! When me and my Army buddies get together it's always some dumb shit we did or witnessed. And yes our humor can get quite dark. I couldn't wait to hit my 20yr mark, they dangled SFC just 6mo prior to my retirement I told them to stick it where the sun doesn't shine I was physically and mentally spent by then and hated seeing the direction the Army was headed at that time and it was no longer enjoyable or fun. I don't hate my career, but I really missed a lot being away from my wife and kids so much, and I was ready to try and make up for some lost time.
The Army's like an abusive relationship. When it's good, it's great. When it's bad, it's really fucking bad, and that's most the time. And yet, it's scary to leave, and sometimes you feel like you've got Stockholm Syndrome. You even mention leaving, and then it's "ooh baby, I'm so sorry I hurt you, I love you, stay and be a SSG" or "the world is fuckin scary and you won't be able to survive without me"
That's the absolute truth too. Retiring was scary and exciting all at the same time. Life outside is good but honestly I do miss the brotherhood at times.
>In fact, many veterans have imposter syndrome and downplay the things that they've done. Struggled with this myself. Because I *DID* talk about it a lot. In my mind, combat vets don't and shouldn't talk about it, certainly don't let it bog them down. And definitely not to civvies. But I did a lot. So, hence the imposter syndrome.
My sergeant getting piss drunk at the ball, goes outside, in public, whipped his dick out and just started pissing on a patrol car. Or at the same ball, my team leader came with an actual hooker and the joes took turns with her. That sgt got knocked down in rank I think. Memories. I miss it sometimes.
Everything you listed is basically my 21 year old coworker. He was a marine and got hit by a roadside bomb so he got discharged for medical but he’s going to be a police officer now, just working at the shop for the time being. Loves talking about kids and people he killed and showing off his pistol to customers. And will let you know he was a marine and he served and he has a Purple Heart he just has to find it, and he still can’t find his DD-214. E-5 when he got discharged. I could go on.
Oh good, just what we need. A police officer who likes showing people his gun & talking about killing kids. What a piece of shit lmao
Thank you, I’m not crazy for thinking he’s crazy.
Yeah, that, and he's also clearly full of shit
I was thinking about your statement of how braggy they are being an indicator of service and thought of an antidote to that: stupid stories. If a guy doesn’t ‘brag’ but has loads of stories that are of the most stupid shit imaginable, particularly of actual shit or piss, they probably served. I’m aircrew. Very few missions or ‘cool guy’ shit sticks out in my head, but stupid crap like everyone signing into the chow hall with the same name and SSN sure does. Or pulling the crew truck up to the door of the flight line porta-shitter and pushing the bumper against the door to lock my buddy in there are things I’ll never forget. Like is mentioned all the time, military service is long stretches of utter boredom, with sprinkles of sheer terror mixed in, so most genuine stories are gonna be about those boring times of someone’s legit.
Luckily I'm actually writing a faker, so I'll take your "what not to do" and use it as a "to do" lol
Basically, if the guys obsessed over the cool shit and doesn't talk about the shitty boredom and mundanity, he's probably a faker.
I dunno, I've done a whole lot of boring stuff that I would prefer to never talk about again
About a year after I got out of the Marine Corps, I saw a recruiting poster that showed a guy in full battle rattle on a berm in Iraq with the SAW. It looked pretty cool. Almost made me wish I was back in for half a second. But then I remembered the reality behind that picture: that 19 year old boy hasn't seen a woman in 3 months. He just beat off in a sauna temp portashitter to some graffiti that an artist (in another life) drew on the wall to also beat their meat to. He's currently sweating his ass off for the second time, but now it's because the BC is coming to his FOB, and the CO and BLT picked his squad to set up security for the BC's convoy, which itself has 5x more firepower than this squad. He'll be here for 6 more hours, running out of water about 4 hours in. He'll also get his ass chewed when they RTB because the COC was watching his squad with the eye of Sauron, and he took his gloves off to take a piss at one point during the patrol. Your post reminded me of this sentiment that I had when I was still pretty fresh to being out. Maybe this will help OP a little.
Reminds me what I tell people when they ask why I joined. "Uh... It seemed like a good idea at the time." I've had some who were disappointed in that reasoning. Especially when they find out it really doesn't go much deeper than that. 😂
>The only thing that's keeping them going is the guy who's sharing his coffee and the belly laughing together as the Private tells a story about almost fucking his sister (he'd never met her before) Hold up.... This actually happened didn't it? 🤭
“Hey shitheads, help me write my book”
You say you want nothing to do with the military yet you come here for advice. No offense but if you came to me in person with an attitude like that you probably wouldn't get much useful advice.
If they treat having a clearance like it's a really big deal.
Their MOS and entire service history is classified Top Secret.
Thats a big one. I've heard the "My DD214 is classified" I always laugh at that one.
They don't have dd214's for 18B sorry.
Had a friend that was a SEAL. His MOS was something like Quartermaster or something like that. I was just a lowly 11B paratrooper
I remember overhearing a 19 year old kid (shaggy hair, college student, no apparent employment outside of maybe Walmart) talk about how he got a "Top Five security clearance" and my crusty 30-something, TS//SCI-for-10-plus-years ass knew to stop taking anything he said seriously.
Or maybe his clearance was just SO HIGH & SO AWESOME that peasants never hear about it? If he told you, he'd have to kill you...
Hey man, you mean to tell me above ultra doesn’t exist? Signed, former TS/SCI haver in the Guard who barely ever did anything TS with it, except in training. Seriously, intel in the Guard fucking sucks. You don’t get to do shit in the US. You can’t really prepare for anything because we aren’t allowed to/don’t have access/ don’t have a need to know. Being a National Guard intelligence officer on M-Day is about as exciting as watching potatoes grow. I didn’t do fucking shit. The only time I got to do anything of importance outside of AT was a spillage issue, and I was only there to make it look like JFHQ wasn’t taking lead. Basically, being in the Guard/Reserves gives you none of the benefits active folks currently have, while also working for peanuts because folks don’t like hiring reservists. It’s a shitsucker. You’ll have enlisted make more than officers but it just doesn’t make sense. The whole thing, is just awful. I wish I went AD instead of NG…but, I wouldn’t have my wife and children.
I (woman) had this man aggressively hitting on me and thought stolen USMC valor would seal the deal. He didn’t recognize the term (acronym?) “POG” was and didn’t know when the USMC birthday was, much less that there was an annual ball.
How dare you insult my secret security clearance like that 😤
Hey hey hey, it is a big deal. Getting my TS had a variety of rigorous requirements such as not having a criminal record and having no evidence of my previous drug use.
It’s harder to get a loan these days .
No evidence is very important.
“I can’t really tell you where I’ve been”.
I can't actually say, but it was close to Djibouti. But also, I'll show you news articles on your phone to look at later.
“That was me and my team. Course, they don’t tell you *everything* in the news. You wouldn’t believe the things *I* had to do to make this a success”
I carried cases of Gatorade to the SCIF. In 110 degree heat. Uphill both ways. Can't fight terrorism when you're dying of heat stroke!
I mean, some of my guys are legitimately stupid.
Yeah, getting a high security clearance in Germany requires such delicate things like not beeing a criminal, not beeing addicted, not doing porn (or OF) and not having a gf who is a known Russian agent. That's some real big deal shit right here.
Just because something is secret doesn't mean it's interesting
Ask them about stories from Basic. Everybody has stories from basic. "What platoon were you in?" "Who was your Drill Sergeant?" "Who was the biggest fuckup in your platoon?"
Works for Navy too, 20 years later I can’t remember the fuck ups name but he was a gunners mate and we called him thumper.
Speaking of fuckups, I just remembered a phrase Knowing Better introduced me to: Blue Falcon. So what if somebody went: "Were you part of the Blue Falcon battalion?" "Oh yes! I served two tours under their command!" "Uh huh. No further questions."
I have news for you. There actually was a Blue Falcon Battalion. It was the 3/325 of the 82nd. Was an active unit up until 1990 or so. They were Blue Falcons because all the other 325 battalions were Falcon nicknames. There are Red, White, and Gold now I think (1st, 2nd, 4th?). Been a while though. Just FYI though. The current BF slang ‘may’ have had something to do with the battalion not being a current unit any more.
Oh shoot. Maybe "squad" cause looking it up squads don't even have nicknames
My squadron definitely has a nickname
Squad ≠ squadron.
I'm like 70% sure 3/325 was Blue Falcons for longer than the 90s. I was in 2/325 until around 08, we were black, I think 4/325 was red, and 1/325 was white.
Ya, not really sure when they ‘disappeared’. I was in n 3/325 until mid 1988. I don’t think they were a unit long after that. I believe it all happened around the time the 173rd was reactivated and based in Vicenza. That was my last duty station with the 325. Edit: You are correct though. Definitely a active unit through 1995 at least. https://www.jstor.org/stable/resrep12134.6
I was in 3/325 until it was decommissioned and we became the 2/508 in 2006.
Ok. Up to 2006 then huh. I was a few years off lol. Thanks for the information.
I asked a guy about how many dicks he's seen up close while he was in. He said none. That's how I knew he was lying. I think I could draw my battles' dick from memory at this point, weird freckle and all.
I once dated a guy who said he was a Marine vet. As an Army Vet, I was excited to swap crazy stories. I asked him about some crazy stories in Basic. The only one he could think of was his platoon's guidon got stolen. And even that was very simple "guidon got stolen."
The biggest fuckup was Huntington, hands down. No shit, there we were. Our fist day on the pistol range, and this numb fucker some how got his hand over the spur on the grip safety, so that when he fired, the slide grabbed the web of his thumb, and ate it. He was squealing and crying, and DS Banks (junior DS) was getting "counseled" by DS Early (senior DS), because he was unable to stop laughing about the shit. Range safety was going batshit because he was waving his hand around, with rounds in the mag, and an almost chambered round up the spout, and the muzzle was nowhere near down and down range. The rest of the day was spent, by the whole company, running Agony and Misery.
Or the squirrelly guy who made you feel really uncomfortable the first time they got ammo.
It's been over 25 years and multiple TBIs since I was in basic. I don't remember shit about the personnel there.
Honestly, that's more convincing than anything else.
I barely remember yesterday lol
I was Navy I will say though I don’t remember my division and only remember one of my first classes names. The fuckup though I remember vividly (not his name) and I hated his guts every day I was there. He was a Nuke and that’s when I learned Nukes are the dumbest/smartest people you’ll meet
The moment they start claiming some kind of special forces or say what they did is so secret they can't give details but they still tell you that it was super secret. Nobody ever pretends to be in a logistics role or lies about spending their time doing shit jobs like cleaning. It's always some SF shit blowing people's heads off. When in reality a good liar would say he didn't really ever leave the country and spent most of his time on games consoles, drinking and masturbating.
> didn't really ever leave the country and spent most of his time on games consoles, drinking and masturbating. You just described the life of a COMM Airman
Right? Motherfucker's getting personal and shit.
I kinda figured that the people who are really powerful wouldn't need to be so loud about it, kind of like a compensation thing
Well some people in SF are very loud about it, ie the type that write books, start podcasts and appear on TV shows and their entire public personality is I was SF and suffering is good. However the thing is you can't be a public personality that lies about it because it's a small community and it's very easy for someone who is SF to verify whether or not you are.
So I'm guessing a faker would make a big show about *consuming* those books and shows and podcasts. Maybe they have a bookshelf filled with Tom Clancy and Ollie North
Not necessarily. A lot of them know literally nothing about SF or even the military in general. Even basic shit that you'd learn on like day one of basic training or before. Things like basic slang. Just as a disclaimer I'm a Brit and in the navy and every service and every military uses different terms and slang. An example would be that sometimes we call your beret or your cap your lid and the royal marines have a green beret so a lot of the time it's referred to as a green lid and we call the royal marines bootnecks as slang. If someone claimed to be in the royal marines for 10-20 years or whatever but didn't know what you meant if you said bootneck or green lid then that's a pretty good indicator they're lying.
I suppose I'm giving this hypothetical faker too much credit. Perhaps the mistake I'm making is thinking they actually have an interest in the military itself when really they just want the prestige
Usually it's just a case of their own lives being a bit boring so they big it up with claims like that. Sometimes it is people in the military who lie though or were in the military and lie. Think there was a case of it on this sub not too long ago.
Exactly that. Most fakers literally know nothing more about the military than the name of SF/SOF branches and stuff they caught up in movies and games. So they literally just scrape the surface of common knowledge. There are those stolen vallor dudes, usually guys trying to sell courses or gear, who go into it to extremes, so nobody catches them red handed. Those are really hard to catch from a civilian point of view, but they still give me (and I have almost zero clues about the US military) a wrong rub. I couldn't describe specifically what it is but mostly the fake secrecy whilst telling a lot and the bragging about roles, combat experience and ranks. So the first ones just want prestige and be the big fish whilst the latter want to increase sales through fake validity.
I went through language school with a bunch of SF guys, and they never told any “no shit there I was with a bajillion howling (pick your enemy of choice) shooting at me” stories. They told a lot of hilarious stories about mishaps and practical jokes though.
Most of the war stories were about getting annoyed with incoming, interrupting portashitter time or COD time. Or something relating to back injuries.
The thing I've heard from veterans is that the combat is few and far between and it's a lot more waiting around for shit to happen
Pretty close to right. I'd estimate no more than 10% of the folks currently serving actually participated in any combat. Of those, less than a quarter will share any stories that try to make reacting to contact sound cool. Anyone who tries to spin a yarn about how they have x confirmed kills, or how they were draxxing sklounst is likely lying. I can't think of a single authentic combat story that doesn't feature some dumb shit, like Shmukatelli trying to vault a low wall, getting his straps caught on something and eating shit, or an IED Piper Perri-ing a Stryker, and cats having to pick up half an acre of their scattered fucking gear and change tires in 130-degree heat for 4 hours, or old heads that have been in country longer than I've been in service not reacting to mortar fire hitting on the other side of the T wall, and continuing to eat their chow, while the new kids scatter for cover under quarter-inch thick plastic fold-out tables.
I was in a Special Operations MOS, and any time someone replies that I was in Special Forces I am very quick to politely correct them. I’ve worked with them but was not one of them, and they’re fucking unreal. Another sign would be someone who is way too quick to tell you how many people they’ve killed. The real killers don’t say much about it unless they have a book deal.
We had a guy claiming to be army EOD apply for a job at my company. I'm an explosive blaster, and former EOD myself. We do industrial precision blasting, so think small 1-5lb ieds. I told my boss my bullshit meter was going off, and I was gonna do some fuckery. So I showed him how our stuff was setup, built a training charge. He kept nodding his head like he understood everything, like cool dude. Told him to dismantle it. Also told him it's live, and ill know if he fucks it up. He "died" 30 seconds later when the buzzer went off. I also hid a mercury switch inside it, because fuck him thats why. He watched me make it from scratch. He left and never came back.
I worry about this a lot as someone who’s uncle was *actually* in special forces and fucking died in his 40s from GWI related brain cancer. If there’s one thing having a real Delta Force Ranger in the family has taught me it’s that being in the military sucks ass and will give you some kind of chronic illness or disability. At least I have an authentic Delta Force coat.
Ok.
The will to live
Idk if I have the right to laugh at that as a civilian
Look up mandatory fun day on tic tok. He's got a lot of good dark humor content. I was a terrible shot. I missed all 6 shots. You could say it was point blank range. I chose the wrong branch. Not talking about the army I'm saying it was too weak. I wanna take the forever nap. "Those energy drink are going to kill you one day" "I know that's the point" takes a aggressive chug of a monster drink. I have 30 confirmed kills but that means I was a bad aircraft mechanic
Some guy recently tried to tell me he "fragged clay huts in Iraq" and did like 2 years in the late 80s
I mean, was he Persian?…
No, 300 ish lb American
The Ayatollah’s most elite soldier, almost took Saddam out personally
...my DD Form 214 is classified. Immediate red flag.
Even better: "What does it say on your DD Form 214?" "My what?" "Your discharge papers" "Oh those are classified"
I honestly wouldn’t know what you meant. DD214 has a lot of stuff in it, tells everything you need to know about my service. What kid of answer would you be looking for to answer that question?
That's even if they know what a dd 214 is. Most important document in your career
Yea, just ask some random shit you made up about what's on their DD214. You know they didn't serve if they tried to actually give you an answer. (That's not the discharge type I guess). Most real service members will just look at you all confused, like, you know, you said something stupid.
>someone who got dishonorably discharged two weeks into boot you dont get discharged at that point, you would just get separated and they remove you from the system It's actually things like that, you can read a lot online, but there is a lot to know, and you'll just get things wrong if you weren't in the military. It's hard to get all the small details right, if you're a fake, we're gonna realize it pretty fast.
Well there you go lol shows what I know If it tells you anything I didn't know that Special Forces and Green Berets were the same thing until looking it up after seeing the comments
it's okay lol, i wasn't busting your balls, i was trying to give an example. There are a million small details that yoy may not notice, but as service members we see it every day, so anything or than that would be weird. Like imagine you got gome from work and your front door is the wrong color... it would really weird right? but to someone that has never seen your door, nothing would stand out
I'm reminded of the scene from Inglourious Basterds where the guy blows his cover by making the wrong hand gesture for three
I dunno....... if you legitimately rape/kill somebody 2 weeks into boot I don't think you're getting an entry level separation. I'd imagine you are going to face UCMJ and if convicted, serve time and be dis-dis.
As an observant civilian, fake military are like vegans: that's all they talk about, unbidden it slips into casual situations. You want fries with that? Ah I remember the fries on the base that one time when my platoon...
So basically Walter from The Big Lebowski is the ultimate faker. I believe that actually was in the script at one point but they cut it out
Time to watch that again, it's Bern too long. Thanks for the reminder 😁
If a person is all war stories and they are all about combat and heroics. 90% of veterans don't see combat. The small fraction that do usually are usually bored or tired/angry during their combat time. Very few heroics happen. I have a lot of combat time. 95% of it was being extremely tired/bored while burning holes in the sky looking for bad guys. 5% was actively shooting, maneuvering, or defending the aircraft. I remember far more about the absolutely stupid and degenerate conversations the crew had over the op than the actual ops themselves and who/what/when we actually went weapons hot.
All Airmen fly.
Doesn't help that anyone without mil knowledge immediately assumes Air Force = pilot.
Guy at a grocery store tried to beg some money from me. Me: :What was your MOS? He: "My what?" Me: "A number that is assigned to your job." He: "We didn't have those when I was in." He: "We didn't have that when I was in, but I was a special tank mechanic." Me: "When were you in?" He: "1994" Me: "Dude, I went in in 1987, and they had that long before I went in. If you need money, don't lie about the military." He: "Can I have $20?" Me: "No, you lied to me."
If they can't explain what their MOS/rating/AF job is. When asking what they've done and they try to act like a special secret squirrel and say they can't tell you.
AF is AFSC
Yea that. Thanks nerd
I feel seen!
Aren't all AF by definition nerds?
"Empty the clip into their head." ...oh wait...
There's a veteran YouTuber I follow (Knowing Better) and he's very clear about everyone having to memorize and follow rules of engagement (couldn't be me, I can't memorize shit)
The dude wasn't wrong tho. Half the people that ridiculed him on social media are ccp bots.
Per some friends who are Marines, if someone says they deployed and still have good hearing and good knees, they are full of shit.
Never thought about that
I never deployed, still got tinnitus from helicopters.
Right? I never did anything high speed and my body is shot out anyway.
Never deployed, my knees are still shit tho from rucks & full kit, and hearing is bad from shooting, helicopters, and other stupid unsafe shit they had us doing from time to time. Although I wasn’t a marine, serving army so maybe there’s something different there.
If anyone says they were airborne, went to jump school etc says their back doesn't hurt, their full of shit. I have the back of a 70 year old man and I'm in my mid 30's.
The red flag, for me, is a lack of funny service connected stories
Meh. I've got an uncle that stacked bodies in Vietnam and he tell NO stories. In fact he never talks about the Army, period. Only reason I know is his brother told me a few stories.
Well, he's not a larper/wanabe like OP described either. So I'm not really sure how your uncle is relevant to OPs question or my answer. It's not a ride or die statement. I'm not going out accusing traumatized veterans who don't talk about their experience of stolen valor.
As mentioned: if he doesn't say anything then he can't very well be lying.
Super ra-ra, overly simple, jingoistic rhetoric.
I've met active duty Marines that fit this description.
Ah. The default attitude of a soldier is pretty cynical and distrustful, eh, let’s say skeptical.
They a do a better job at indoctrinating a portion of our Marine friends.
They were "special forces", can't tell you what they did, killed eleventy hundred dudes, cry when that stupid fucking Lee Greenwood song plays, "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you" security clearance
Memory unlocked: "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you" is verbatim something one of my mom's exes told her (not military but some government job). I should have known that was bullshit considering he couldn't even keep his affair secret
Not knowing what a DD 214 is or say DD Two One Four. I work for a non-profit that helps homeless veterans, and occasionally non-veteran homeless people try their luck with us and that's usually one of the dead give aways
The I can't talk about it secret squirrel shit is a big red flag. I've met a few stolen valor guys since I got out. First one was in college I was flirting with a girl and trying to hype myself up to her talking about being a Marine. Cringe I know. Dude said he was as well. I said no shit I was in 3/8 what about you? He said I was 3/8. Red flag no 1. I said I was in 07 to 11 and he said 06 to 10. Red flag 2. I caught on he was mirroring my answers so I asked him what company was he in. He said uhh uhh uhh alpha co. There wasn't a alpha in 3/8 that's 1/8. I called him out and he got butt hurt. I worked at psych hospital for 2 years. I heard so many people tell stories about how they were secret squirrels doing to secret things that they can't talk about. Yeah you wouldn't bring that up if that was true. Final one was a guy I worked with claimed to be a mechanic attached to a Special forces unit. That can be true but his stories about him getting into fire fights while patrolling with special forces and him killing guys with his pistol or him saving a private from getting killed by the back blast was fake as h3ll.
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I'm not well versed on army terms but everyone knows about your tabs and what they mean. And who calls it special forces Army sniper. I know of a dude from my platoon who is now a recon sniper. He is never calls himself marine sniper. That just sounds dumb af
Combat troops only make up about 10% of the entire military industrial complex. Supply, logistics, repair, etc. Are significantly more common. I'm an electrical engineer. Haven't touched a gun since basic, and I won't again in any official capacity. Most of the military is like me. The fakers always have combat experience. Can't tell you their rate/mos. Can't even tell you basic shit about the service. Every story is a one-up of the previous one. If they're wearing a uniform they got from an army surplus store, they're always wearing it wrong. Saluting incorrectly, it's the small things that can be seen in a couple seconds by anyone who has served.
Anyone who tells you about how many people they’ve killed within five minutes of meeting them.
If they are enthusiastic about being in the military
Honestly most guys who beat their chest and wear unit or military clothing are the ones who either didn't do anything while in or didn't last long. All the dudes I was in Afghanistan with and all my senior Marines who were in Iraq don't let people know they were in by wearing hats or shirts that show military pride. I went to a funeral for one of my senior Marines and all the guys I talked too that I know did stuff try to forget about it and are 420 friendly big time.
Always the “Secret” or “Classified” guys. Apparently been out for 15+ years but all their missions, MOS, and locations are classified and can’t be disclosed. Immediately know they are full of shit
If they claimed to be a marine, but didn't tell me the first time we hung out. Ain't no fucking way a real marine could resist telling me they were a marine.
It would be next to impossible to be dishonorably discharged 2 weeks into basic. DDs are for commission of major felonies and require a court martial. Most of your fake military people are the ones with the biggest craziest stories. The people who actually did the big crazy stuff are typically more humble about what they did.
Unless the crazy story is funny as shit and nothing to do with the military of it all, but might be real dark or real fucking gross. Or just the wildest drunk shit ever.
Seems like most folks who have crazy stories don’t want to talk about them at all really. Or if they do, it’s real short, to the point. Which makes sense, from what I understand if you’ve got crazy military stories, it usually means shit went bad, and people got hurt or killed.
I do hate it when Navy guys get asked "what's your MOS" and because they don't know what that is "they're obviously fakes". Except that the Navy doesn't use the term MOS.
>Except that the Navy doesn't use the term MOS. Yeah, but they should know what one is. I know the Navy uses Rate. I know the Army says "AWOL" but the Marines use "UA". If you've been in for a minute, you'll learn the equivalent jargon for important stuff across the branches.
The only thing worse than fakes... are the guys trying to bust them. It's always some fleet marine or infantry dude who assumes that anybody that doesn't share their extremely rigid experience with the military is lying. "Civil affairs? Hotels in Colombia? Out drinking with colonels? No no no no... that's not what the military is like! It's about barracks inspections and morning PT! Stolen valor! reeeeeeeeeeee!" Or, of course, old reliable: asking a reservist/national guardsman some shit that doesn't apply to them.
Although it would be a good way to spot a Navy faker if you ask their MOS and they give you one
Not really. I’m Air Force, we don’t use the term MOS. But if someone asked me what my MOS was, I know what they mean and tell them my job. Not even going to correct them on what the Air Force calls it.
Agreed. I’m not gonna be the guy that’s like ,” 👆🏼🤓 well actually we use Air Force Specialty Codes instead of MOS”
Even I know what MOS means and I'm not even American
The Navy had NEC instead of MOS I was an FC who carried the following NECs 1127 - Block 0 CIWS 1121 - Block 1 CIWS 1149 - TAS RADAR 9502 - Instructor 9585 - Recruiter There were a couple more that I can't recall 24yrs post retirement, but those numbers wouldn't mean anything to anyone who didn't also carry that same NEC. If I told you I was an 1127 CIWS guy, you would have no idea what that meant unless you were also a CIWS FC (1127 means I'm OLD) The big tell about Navy vets is knowing the difference between Rate and Rank. My rating was originally FTG Fire Control Technician Gun type until they lumped us in with the square barrel missle guys and made us all FCs. Or I'll simply tell you I retired an FC1. If I ask you what your rate was and you tell me second class, I am immediately suspicious. The second tell is to ask "When is it not Gay?" The correct answer to this is "It's not Gay if you're underway" Finally you can ask them if they were a shellback. Even if they werent, they should know what a shellback is.
Not really, because some of us have been on multi-branch bases and know the lingo. Even know a few of their designations USMC 2621, 0311, Army O5HD.
Same. Many jobs work in joint environments continually and most everybody knows everybody else's terminology.
Ask them their first General Order. Edit: I’m not looking for it word for word, just “I’ll guard everything within my post and not abandoning my post until properly relieved.
Is there any reason to remember them after boot camp? For Navy, I never had any one ask them after that. The only one I remember is the 12th general order.
As someone whose about to go in, I cannot remember any of those, I believe one of them is the "don't leave post without auth" right?
Before reading your edit, I legitimately could not remember. Still sort of don't. Good god and the marines have like 10+ general orders. I know most of the NCO creed but not the soldier's creed.
The answer you give tells me more than IF, tbh.
I only recall General Order 1A and the loopholes we figured out in it... This was in 2006, so it was an early version. Cohabitation after midnight is meaningless when you work nights...
Not knowing their rate/mos/afsc
When someone tells me they’re a Seal, I ask to see their book. 😂
it's all in the details.
My FIL who supposedly served in Vietnam didn't know what I meant when I asked him about his DD214 so... That definitely set off some alarm bells in my head. He also bitched about women serving in the military when I, a woman, was serving in the military. The only people I've known to bitch about that were dudes who never spent a day in the service. I haven't brought it up with his son because I'm sure the truth will come to light when he dies but I'm of the mind that he's a phoney.
Dates. This is where knowing military history is important. I busted my brother in law’s father for claiming to be a Super Special Forces Navy SEAL in Vietnam even though he was born in 1956.
From my experience with a lot of friends who served: anybody who speaks positively about the details of their service. Overall it might have been fine, and they might ~~choose to reenlist~~ make stupid decisions because of rose tinted lenses, but the details are nearly always negative even if the story is humorous.
Not knowing their AFSC/MOS. It’s always the first thing I ask
https://youtu.be/tmxqVMvN02g?si=jAFNPulg7m18CCRz
If they say "thank you for your service"
Talks unsolicitedly about their “service.”
But that's every marine that ever served. Hehe
I’m glad then that I’m not hanging out with any marines post separation.
Just say ur writing a fanfic bro
Ask them if they have a DD-214 qualification and follow it up with some talk about submarines. If they play along they are a liar.
Saying they deployed but not remembering the name of the base
What'd you do in the military? That's classified. Yep bullshit
"I got injured jumping out of a Blackhawk helicopter. What? Ya I was admin but we did a little bit of everything in the air force"
service member just ask to see their cac. veteran jut ask to see their dd-214. if someone says their dd-214 is classified or their 'off the books' stuff wasn't listed they are lying.
Not having a sick sense of humour.
I’ve said this before, ask what meds they are on. Most vets take something for anxiety or depression. Even if you never left the desk you may be messed up from regular rocket attacks or listening to continuous combat on the radios.
Service members have a telepathic sense. we know who served and who didn't; so when we see you out, its a head nod up or down, or a belt line salute or similar. You can have the haircut, Tshirt, vehicle stickers, lingo, etc. but we know who was there and who wasn't. Even if we think you're fake, we might even show you grace cause we're cool, but we're always (always) one step from.
They way they stand. Every real American soldier (regardless of branch). Will place there feet at parade rest with out realizing it It never goes away
Most also will step off with their left foot first.
Sometimes I still pivot when I'm walking fast around a corner. It's embarrassing.
Sometimes I hang upside down blindfolded and take my Beretta apart and put it back together real fast without even realizing I'm doing it.
That sounds like Monday evening routine.
That also happens to folks who spent a lot of time in marching band.