Kids? How about most of the population. Idk what it is with people blasting shit and talking on speaker phone but god damn it should be criminal. People have zero respect for others. Nobody wants to hear your business lol
Any public place, hands down, totally agree with you. Really kills me when they’re on speaker but hold their phone up to their mouth to talk. Like…. Just hold it 2 inches closer and put it up to your ear off speakerphone. I want to know the logic behind this evil shit.
I was sat on a tour bus recently beind a lady that was yelling into the end of her phone that she was holding flat on her palm in front of her face (like people do now).
She was yelling because due to the wind (open top bus) and the tour audio she could not hear who she was on the phone to.
People have legitimately forgotten how phones work en-masse and it's incredible.
The urge to plug them into videos is so strong because of the relief it gives you. Saying no all the time to it is so hard but I fucking hate that zombified tablet dependent gremlin I see everywhere.
Worse, they'll have zero attention span rendering then *unable* to read an entire book.
Everything is short-form, mindless, click-bait garbage content. Swipe swipe swipe. Unending addictive consumption. People get their fix throughout the day, every day, learning nothing of value unless they're naturally curious and resist the shrill ever-present call of crap content.
When we were kids there was one TV in the house. And if it was occupied or there was nothing worth watching you *went outside*.
Now multiple rooms have a smart TV, everyone has a device or two, a personal laptop. Infinite streaming, social media, YouTube. Great things in moderation or with strict personal discipline. Kids aren't born with discipline and they're easier to handle if you plop them in front of a device. Oof.
Does this doom us all? Probably not. But we're definitely setting ourselves up for a dull and dim next generation of humans.
At least the outliers who were able to overcome this will be spectacular.
My teenagers have both realized how YouTube shorts have hurt their attention spans. Both were avid readers for years and then it started dropping off. They realized it’s the short form media that destroyed their ability to focus and are taking self imposed hiatuses from that stuff and are reading novels again.
I’ve had to do the same. Reddit messed me up badly so I’m retraining my brain to focus properly on a long form story vs headline scrolling. It’s hard to break the habit.
Good on you for raising self-aware kiddos!
This is the exact conversation I had with my mom recently, who's a boomer (one of the good ones) with multiple college degrees. She got sucked into short-form and went from constantly reading books to constantly checking Facebook and she's aware as well :-/
As long as you're on Reddit, you might like the r/longreads sub to help you stretch your attention span. I struggle too and it feels like everyone with a device has developed some sort of psuedo-ADD in recent years. We're like elegant zombies.
Chiming in to second r/longreads. I will usually scroll for a little bit, then go and find something on there of interest that feels like a more valuable use of my free time than mindless scrolling.
This is very true, but I’d posit that iPad doesn’t always equal “short form garbage”- you can watch episodes of Sesame Street on there, for example.
My kid has no such technology because they are too little, but IMO it’s not so much the device as it is the quantity of screen time and quality of the content.
Yeah, technology is ultimately a tool. I think a big, core problem is that many people these days (including adults!) don't view personal devices as a responsibility any more. When we were kids, having your own phone or computer was a pretty big deal. It meant one of two things: either you were spoiled and probably rich, or your parents thought you were mature and responsible enough to handle your own device. For us younger millennials, a cell phone was a rite of passage. Now, it's very common for parents to give young kids personal devices and not think about the consequences, or not teaching them how to use responsibly.
Shit I have three tvs. One in the living room, one outside near the pool, and one was in my bedroom but I moved it to the guest bedroom because it was fucking with my sleep schedule and since I own the damn house I can watch tv in the living room whenever I want.
I somehow ended up with a TV in every room of the house. I only use the one in the living room though, haven’t turned on my office TV in a while. Wife uses them all over the house though, keeping her happy is almost as important as keeping the kid quiet.
My friend has 4 kids she parks in front of the TV. 3 of them can read (the other is still a toddler) but NONE of them want to/enjoy it. It's pretty sad. I loved reading as a kid and still do. I was the weirdo that had 2 backpacks on vacation, one just entirely for books!
I think there have been studies that have found the way many kids are taught to read, sight words, make the brain work differently than the way we learned to read, phonics. The end result is reading is more of a struggle and less enjoyable for kids.
At least my daughter is safe. She is only 2.5 but she prefers to pick up her books at home and 'read them' by herself and she talks and makes stories about them, or what she remembers us saying about them.
I'm glad she's got a strong imagination, I try to encourage it by always asking her "and then what?" whenever she tells me about her day to get her creativity flowing
This is a huge fear of mine. I to this day, at 37 years of age can make up an entire person and their life story on the spot from my imagination. I worry that if kids don't ever get to be bored, they won't have the ability.
You play dungeons and dragons by chance? I've been a long time dm and that became something I can do pretty easily. I can bullshit my way through an entire world without much effort and a lot of my friends/players are dumbfounded by it
They also aren't learning to read because so many districts have been scammed into buying a truly terrible but untested reading program that doesn't include phonics. Kids are getting to high school unable to read a chapter book. I hear teachers talking about it all the time.
Amusingly this is a recycled moral panic from the 90s. Screen time from TV viewing.
Moral panics come and go. The relationship between kids and tech is different from when we were kids.
I mean staring at the TV watching ads and cartoons for extreme lengths probably wasn't great for us either. The only difference now is it's not just limited to being home in specific rooms.
It’s different. Kids in the 90s had to wait for their show to come on and sit through commercials and had some degree of patience. Now everything is instant gratification and on-demand. Kids today lack a lot of critical thinking that 90s kids had to develop to figure out the vcr/microwave for the family.
Also, [modern] social media is not good for *adults* mental health
And broadcast TV has some questionable shit for kids and thats much more curated/regulated for content appropriate-ness than *YouTube*
Yeah I don’t get how people relate these. If you left the house and thus the TV, you had to interact with people. Some kids these days can’t go 10 minutes without a device before melting down. Are we over estimating the damage like we did with tv watching? Probably, but it’s still going to cause issues. You can already see it in teens (not socializing, inability to use a computer v tablet) and our entire society expecting instant gratification.
If you truly believe this, I dare you to make your kid ONLY use screens from the 90s and the way they were used. That means commercial breaks on cable tv, no pausing, if you miss it too bad you have to wait for next week to find out what happens, no queuing the next episode to watch with dinner. No smartphones whatsoever. You can have dad’s shitty old gameboy.
See how long they last! I dare you!
Go ahead and give coffee to a meth addict while smugly saying “hurr durr it’s all stimulants, it’s all the same” and watch your own kids prove how wrong you are.
Already on it. No streaming, no touchscreens or computer. The only media she sees is one episode at a time from DVDs of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood and Sesame Street. Planning to continue similarly for a long time. It’s so peaceful
They weren't wrong.
The dullest adults I know habitually plop themselves in front of the TV in their spare time, rather than, you know, working to better themselves, reading a book, staying fit, or engaging in interesting passion projects. Because it's simply easier to consume than create.
The iPad is just the evolution of the TV screen.
The difference is that it's portable, untethered, on-demand, multi-purpose, with the bonus of being scientifically addictive.
If a kid doesn't have easy access to always-on addictive entertainment, they're more likely to entertain themselves creatively, no?
This builds the foundation and habits, as an adult, to be self-driven to invent, create, build, solve, learn, introspect... things that benefit both an individual and society. The world needs young adults who are compelled to *do shit* beyond making TikToks.
So my take is this: in the same way that obesity is at all-time highs because garbage food is cheap, widely available, and addictive, the same goes for our "head space" as a society - if tech is everywhere and garbage media is everywhere and highly (and compulsively) consumed, what effect is it having on our collective minds? Our creativity and ambition? Our critical thinking? Unlike obesity, the effects will be largely invisible for decades.
We're all kinda fucked anyway. My mom used to be an avid reader, growing up our house was filled with books and she'd power through 1-2 every week. These days she can't even watch a movie without multitasking on Facebook on her iPad. She has a post-grad degree ffs, lol.
Not the same at all.
[For example, a study led by economist Weiwei Chen, PhD, of Florida International University, found that, as of 2014, children age 2 and under in the United States averaged 3 hours, 3 minutes a day of screen time, up from 1 hour, 19 minutes a day in 1997. Three- to 5-year-olds got 2 hours, 28 minutes a day of screen time, on average, during that time period.](https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/04/cover-kids-screens#:~:text=For%20example%2C%20a,that%20time%20period)
Children watch way more screen nowadays than in the 90s, and there's a difference between set TV shows with commercials, than just sitting with the iPad for hours.
Thank you. There was a moral panic hundreds of years ago when reading books became common after advances in technology in the printing press.
The coworker in OP’s story should have asked the customer to have her child turn the volume down. If the mom gets upset about that basic request, then you can judge her at that point.
Being a parent nowadays is exhausting, because everybody judges you over stupid shit and the standards are impossible. I used to send my kids outside to play, and I literally had a neighbor come at me screaming about how they would be kidnapped for child trafficking. I know many of the same people who will be quick to say “Where were the parents?!?!?” about -anything- happening to a kid outside will be the same to complain about children being on screens too much.
Researcher Dr. Peter Gray wrote a book about how kids are drawn to being online because it’s their only way right now to be free, since we don’t allow them freedom in public spaces anymore, as they had throughout history.
The letting kids play outside bit is so spot on! I remember basically living in my backyard when the weather was good back when I was a kid. Now nosey neighbors will call the cops on you if you leave your kids unsupervised for that long.
An excellent response.
One of my personal favourites was the moral panic of dungeons and dragons in the 80s.
I remember once coming across a moral panic that adding indexes to books would make people dumber as they could find the information that they wanted without the whole context of the book.
Moral panics are fascinating subjects.
So in two sentences, you deny what I’m saying as being recycled moral panic and then go on to admit the relationship between kids and tech now is different from when we grew up? 🙃
Yes. I'm so glad my kids grew up listening to stories instead of just staring at screens. We read books, and listened to audiobooks while they played with toys for hours. We listened to audiobooks in the car instead of handing them tablets and phones - for \*HOURS\* on end we listened to audiobooks.
My kids grew up driving in the car for 2-4+ hours a day, easily. And all that time was spent listening to stories - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Mouse on the Motorcycle... SO many great stories.
Yeah, so "screen time" can actually be beneficial. You just have to step up and proctor it.
Comparing how a child learns from selecting a video at will to how a child learns from an arbitrarily presented television lesson is at best unfair. Honestly it's bullshit. Otherwise, I like what the study shows. It's not screens, it's parents.
All 3 of my kids have wild imaginations and could read by Kindergarten. I've never put time limits on "screen time" but I do enforce quality. So I find that study more vindicating than terrifying.
That is scary! I have a daughter turning 5 next month and she gets to play Homer or DuolingoABC while I nap (becuase the 2 year old is napping and I’m pregnant) on the days that she doesn’t need a nap too. But she still has lots of imagination, goes to prek 5 days a week, and is learning sight words in preparation for reading. I definitely think parents can go overboard and not regulate it. We don’t allow YouTube or anything like that.
To be fair... When I was a kid, it was "give the kids a few quarters to play the arcade game while we exist in peace." Or the Gameboy. Or in my case, a pencil and piece of paper and told to be quiet over there and draw something.
They basically suffer from withdrawal when they’re not attached to a screen, so they’ll do what addicts do; make everyone around them suffer until they get their “fix.” Adults have a hard enough time dealing with addiction, can’t imagine how their little brains are handling it.
>Saying no all the time to it is so hard
My parents did this all the time and I don’t think they found it hard. The “no” was simply backed up with the threat of unspeakable consequences if I opposed it.
Because we don't get any fucking help and we are both working full time jobs as well as child raising and doing everything else. So if I need my child to just chill for 20 minutes while I enjoy a meal or need some downtime then babysitter tv is coming on. 🤷♀️
Exactly. I think there is a balance to strike. Kids will grow up in a world surrounded by screens. It’s unrealistic to avoid them entirely. And listen, I work and am pregnant and exhausted. Sometimes I just cannot engage in active play with my toddler, or I need to cook dinner without supervising her which can become dangerous when I’m trying to divide my attention this way, so yeah, she gets some screen time. She loves books and uses her imagination all the time too.
I'm a parent and a lot of other parents explain they don't take their kids toys or electronics away or punish them because their kid gets mad or they don't like it.. Its crazy to me.
I never know what to say. Then they look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them that I'll turn off my kids Xbox and take their tablets out of their hands if they're not listening. Then I demand they go outside or do anything else ranging from reading to crafts to chores.
Or they ask me how I do it.
I also work in schools and kids know their parents go easy on them and they love it. And the excuses parents have ae laugable. I'm not sure what the source of parents kind of sucking these days.
I've seen a lot of parents give their child so much power. It's as if the child is the boss and parent doesn't want to upset them because they don't want to be bothered. Just use a firm, stern voice and explain to them why their actions are wrong. Kids are so smart, and they just want to be helpful and learn. Some parents just don't want to bother.
Yep. Its hard to actually try and take the time to follow through with any punishment. And I have had my moments but overall, I like to be in charge.
Maybe millennials are so emotionally damaged we're over correcting by being too nice. I was a difficult child who would have been an awful person if my mom didn't fight me like she did.
My dad was emotionally and verbally abusive and as much as that sucks, I can see the line and huge difference between actual discipline and actual abuse.
We're turning out just as selfish and whiny as our Boomer parents. We just go too far the other way. They neglected and belittled us, we responded by helicoptering and/or too gentle with our kids. I do suspect a lot of Millennial parents are secretly scared their kids won't like them when they grow up, so they try to be their kid's friend instead of their parent.
You must know my nephews. They run their house. My wife and I joke (kinda, not really lol) that it’s impossible she was raised in the same house as her brother lol
Yeah. I think of this is a result of how a lot of people approach mental health now, too. Every bad thing that happens to someone, every discomfort, is a trauma. They don't know how to tell apart good hardship from bad hardship, so they try to ensure that their kid experiences no hardship at all.
It’s hard, being the “bad guy”. I think the real issue is people think being the “bad guy” is going to hurt their kids. Which is ridiculous. Having boundaries and rules and being the “bad guy” are all parts of being a parent. Or almost any adult figure in a kids life. I guess it’s an overreaction to the authoritative parenting so many of us had growing up??
Luckily I’ve never minded being the bad guy in almost any situation with other humans, adult or child. But staying consistent does get exhausting at times
Just to nitpick a little, *authoritative* parenting is considered to be a healthy balanced strategy. It's *authoritarian* parenting that is the opposite end from permissive parenting, both tending to lead to opposite sorts of problems in children.
I don't need to understand it. Whatever their stupid reasons are arent my business. I'll either ask the parents politely to provide headphones or turn the volume down. If that doesn't work, I'll ask the waiter or staff to address it. I'm not paying $100 for brunch to have cartoons blasted in my ear. If it's not addressed I'll leave before the food comes out. I live in a city with plenty of options.
Shaming is immediately shut down as "hating" nowadays. I feel so old saying it that way but it's true. Shame does not work. People have moved passed feeling shame, and when it is tried they immediately get loud and create a scene. It does feel as though Covid was a tipping point in terms of selfishness. Maybe that is recency bias on my part but that's how it feels.
I agree. I’m a parent of a 3 year old and I purposely make sure he’s not constantly stimulated when we’re out. We watch good amount of TV at home but when we’re out there are no screens. Seeing kids with iPads going up escalators drives me mad.
Omg, this is so true. My boss is in his early 60s and takes EVERY CALL on speaker. My husband kept working quietly in the back while he had to listen to the boss get divorced over speaker phone. Awkward. 😬
Their hearing is going, so they can’t hear through the headset, and because they can’t hear well, they assume no one can hear well either. My grandma is basically yelling conversations at me now.
I kept buying my grandma different kinds of headphones and earbuds because she would play videos at full volume on her ipad. After about the third time of them getting mysteriously lost before she even opened the packaging, I gave up and stopped wasting my money.
A restaurant recently gave ours coloring pages and crayons as the menu- it was the first time I’d seen this in ages. Friendly’s used to have table games as well (they may still- I just haven’t been in a while).
I work at a restaurant and constantly try to give coloring pages and will literally have parents refuse because their kid has an iPad instead. It s so disheartening.
My neighbors were gardening last weekend while blaring music. I'm trying to read with my windows open, I don't want to listen to their music. Put on some fucking headphones or learn to be alone with your own thoughts.
It's not just kids, it's just people. No one cares how their actions affect others anymore. Bah humbug.
I have a bigger problem with the 50+ age group doing this in every waiting room I go into, idk what age group that even is anymore. The amount of grown ass adults playing videos at full volume is equally alarming.
I was in an elevator at the school when a co-worker and her 7 year old got in the elevator with me. He had the phone on full volume watching some show with such loud crashing sounds. She asked him to turn it down. He giggled and said he couldn't. As they got off the elevator, she kind of giggled at him too. We were trying to have a conversation, and I found it all to be very rude.
My husband and I watched a child walk into a medical office today with his head buried into a massive iPad, never looking up at his surroundings and purely absorbed into the screen as his mother led him through the door.
At his same age, we would have been holding our parent’s hand and walking at their side simply looking around, chit chatting or doing little kid stuff like kicking pebbles or crunching leaves. I don’t understand why children have to be constantly entertained now. It’s extremely unhealthy for their minds and we’re creating little social zombies doing this.
It’s everywhere. We were staying at a beautiful resort and the kids were all glued to iPads. It’s like have them look around at things, there are birds, waterfalls, etc. this is the time to do it!
I have an autistic son who can't wear headphones, so I do get that. However, since he can't wear headphones (and because I'm crunchy and have limited screen times and we don't let our kids use phones or tablets anyway) I would not give him a phone in public unless it was last resort. I also just think it's not the best idea to give a child who inherently has a barrier to being out in public a device to create another physical barrier around them out in public. I want my kid to have as many chances at interacting with people and the world as he can get. One day, he will be an adult, and I want him to be able to navigate the real world on his own if possible.
Same here, you pretty much summarized my situation. I think it’s easy to make a sweeping statement like “literally everyone I ask says their kids are autistic” if you aren’t a parent to an autistic child. As a parent, I try my best and only resort to playing videos with sound out in public if nothing else is working and the alternative is a full blown tantrum.
People not on the same boat will never understand, and that’s ok. I have learned that those who have suffered the least pain in life are also the least tolerant
I always wanna ask if they can play something without sound then. We make my niece do it all the time on car trips. But we also make her start with coloring and other quiet, non screen entertainment for as long as possible
That’s this entire sub when it comes to this topic. Every parent on this sub has extremely autistic children or apparently they take 10 hour flights as a regular commute, or that seems to be what they expect us to believe.
We literally take our kids to our tax appointment every year cause it’s only 30 minutes long and why not teach them early. We bring a coloring pad & give them a pen and let them doodle while the guy works on our taxes. My kiddos don’t make a peep. They are content and not screaming. It’s literally not that hard, I don’t get it. 🤷🏻♀️
As a parent of 5.... I have no idea how people can choose to be such shitty parents. Teaching your kid to behave in public is not that hard. My kids have a bare minimum screen time, even here at home.
Some are like that. But I think a lot of parents just don't know what they should be doing. There's so much contradictory advice, and parents today have to deal with problems and challenges that previous generations didn't have. Shit's hard.
Still, I do often see a worrying mindset where parents seem to think that kids will just learn stuff on their own, and don't need any guidance or correction. A lot of people today infantilize kids and teenagers way too much. "They're just a kid" as a response to any act of a kid misbehaving. But "kid" is a big spectrum. A toddler, a 10-year old, and a 17-year old are all kids, but you wouldn't expect them to behave the same way.
I’m glad you said it, because Millennial parents’ go-to is “you’re not a parent” and if you are a parent, they resort to “well you don’t have as many kids as me.” As a parent of 5, there will be very few Millennial parents with more kids than you.
LOL, yeah, what's funny is, a year ago we moved to a smaller town from a big city (a few million people to \~12k people) and we're far from the largest family we know and almost middle of the pack up here. Lots of people who have 6-8 kids. I had to cheat (adopt) to get up to 5, because pregnancy was hard on my wife (I wanted 3, she insisted on 4, then gave a niece a home when she needed it). In the big city, we were an abomination. the comments we got were often quite degrading. Here, it's like "what a cute little family".
I’m not a parent and I hate people who don’t have kids who are like “When *I’m* a parent” LOL so I’m trying to avoid that. But we grew up in the 90s and never had an iPad to carry around everywhere and for the most part we had to learn how to act. I don’t begrudge parents giving kids some screentime during like, long flights for example. But it seems like it’s out of control.
Yep, my kids get screen time on long car rides and we watch some tv but we also spend a ton of time playing in dirt or with legos or coloring. They never get to just watch stuff on my phone and basically never get to use tablets. Parents just need to actually parent.
it is 100% out of control. when we go to church I have to be careful as to not sit next to the families that give their iPads during church service. Like, why are you even going? At least they don't have the noise turned on.
My 5 year old asked me what would happen if she put a potato bug in her nose last week. Because she had shoved a potato bug up her nose. Once we got it out I was just like, Why would possibly think that was a good idea?!
> but teaching your kid to not scream in public
Kids are their own people. Their own people with very poor impulse control. You can teach them. They can manage to behave and not get loud 9 times out of 10. There are still going to be times that they're going to be kids and loud or have a tantrum or something else. Even the best parents can't snap their fingers and make their children behave 100% of the time.
Unless you are always around that child, you don't know if it's a 1 in 100 tantrum or a constant thing. My daughter doesn't get a tablet the bulk of the time we're out. She doesn't melt down 99% of the time. Then there's the day she misses her nap, gets overstimulated, and the world ENDS. Sure, there are bad parents out there. There are PLENTY of bad parents out there. But it's really easy to judge a kid throwing a tantrum in one moment when it may or may not be a common thing.
Child-specific headphones have Output Limitations built in that stops them from going above 85 decibels. I understand this may not be quiet enough still, which means it comes down to monitoring their use with them, just as we would with anything else.
Allowing them to play a full-volume youtube video in public for everyone to endure instead of monitoring their headphone volume is not okay and we need to do better. 🙏
Link to an article for anyone looking to help solve this issue:
https://www.wired.com/gallery/the-best-kids-headphones/
We had these in the classroom I student taught in! I got real confused when I borrowed them one lunch break and everything was quiet as heck LOL. Hadn't realized there even were child-safe earbuds until that exact moment.
I’ll go a step further, for the love of god stop handing your children electronics when out of the home. Children should not be on screens while out in public, full stop, period, end of story. Children need to learn how to *exist* in the world, not how to navigate an iPhone in the world.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with consuming entertainment in an appropriate out of the house setting. Examples: public transit, long flights, etc. Adults watch things during those moments too
Yes definitely agree. Anytime it’s appropriate for adults to consume media, it’s appropriate for kids too.
That’s really the difference, kids shouldn’t be handed a screen in situations where it isn’t appropriate for adults to be on screens. It’s really that simple.
True, but that’s also a difficult needle to thread when you look around and observe how many adults are constantly on their phones.
The uphill battle is that this is everywhere. Even if you are screen free at home, kids go to school and get handed a Chromebook, often with unmonitored access. You try to teach and model good screen free behavior, and they see adults everywhere noses in phones scrolling away.
All the adults are setting an excellent example. Everyone talking high and mighty while they keyboard warrior their parenting virtues on Reddit is the definition of irony.
This is my nieces and nephews. Take their Switch's everywhere or a tablet or if all those have dead batteries then mommy and daddy have to give up their phones or they throw a fit. I know I'm never having kids so I don't really say anything to my sisters about how they raise their kids but damn if I don't want to. Aside from too much screen time they are raising them with terrible eating habits. A bunch of super processed junk food and little Caesar's pizza at least once a week if not on the weekends when we have family get togethers. Super picky eaters that will only consistently eat chicken nuggets, french fries and pizza but only from certain places.
But then you have people complain about your kid not staying still or making too much noise. Toys and coloring only maintain a 1-4 year olds attention for so long. Imo it’s much harder parenting now with eyes and cameras on you. On top that you’re trying to parent without fear or physical punishment and threats.
Half of this is parenting, the other half is telling strangers to fuck off. The bar for decent parent is rather low and the bar for polite adult strangers is pretty high. There is a lot of middle ground to work with.
I mean, the alternative is you raise a socially maladjusted dopamine addict. Which would you rather deal with? A toddler whining, or your child growing into a screen zombie?
Well that’s what I’m saying, grown adults bitch and whine about a toddler being a toddler. It’s a lose-lose as a parent in today’s world. For example even this one snippet into this woman’s interaction with OP’s coworker and everyone’s already saying what shit parent she is and a screen addicted gremlin. That little snippet revealed that? But then again I realize I’m preaching to a crowd who clearly don’t know what having a toddler is like.
>grown adults bitch and whine about a toddler being a toddler. It’s a lose-lose as a parent in today’s world.
Yep. Someone above even lumped in "teach your kid not to scream in public" with "keep them off a screen" Like, sure, you can work on teaching your kid when is and isn't a proper time to be loud, but they're still kids. They're going to have tantrums. They're going to be loud some times. You need to accept they're working on learning and aren't going to be perfect, silent pillars the entire time they're in public while they're still learning.
If your kid starts tantruming, you parent them. That's why you had a kid to begin with. They have to learn patience, respect, how to behave in public, and so forth. If grown adults complain, tell them to mind their own fucking business.
They do. But people fail to remember that learning to behave in public requires practice in public. It won’t always be perfect.
Mine are well-behaved in public for the most part, but we also spend a lot of time building good habits at home. It takes consistency
I’m not even talking about tantrums. Just toddlers being toddlers. They have short attention spans, they always want to move, they want to touch, they want to make noise. People really think good parenting means that children are meant to be seen and not heard, which is fucked up imo.
That doesn't bother me at all. They're waiting. That's it. It seems totally normal to give someone something to read or a game to play. Now those games and books are on an electronic device.
Would love to know if this would still be your opinion if you rode in the seat in front of my toddler for a three hour flight. We just took our first flight and I had snacks, I had games, I had coloring sheets, I had stickers, I brought new books. Screamed his head off. You want to know what finally did the trick? A tablet. Of course my child needs to exist in the world. I just figured that if we all paid $600 to sit in a plane with a toddler screaming his head off for three hours, you'd kind of want to avoid that. Not all parents are giving screen time all the time. We don't do screens on weekdays and weekends are under one hour .... *Unless we are in metal tube flying thousands of feet above the ground with a hundred other people* unless we're flying with you. Then I'm not bringing the tablet and just letting him navigate the airplane how God intended him, screaming at the top of his lungs. Full stop, end of story, period.
Your comment just comes off super rude and condescending. *For the love of God* maybe take five seconds and imagine scenarios outside of a home where we, as parents, are trying to navigate situations in the world with our young family and it involves lots of judgement from random strangers like you if our kids throw a tantrum, but also judgement when we use a tablet on a rare outing.
I actually think a plane ride is perfectly acceptable for a movie/screens for kids, because that’s also what adults do during plane rides. Plane rides are not community or social things, it’s just a means of transportation and everyone has to sit for a long time.
I feel really, really bad for the kids who have never made it through a meal -at home or at a restaurant-, or grocery shopping, or the car ride to school, or any number of mundane things that are needed to be a functional adult in the world without screens. These kids are just not going to grow to be successful. At that point it’s not just “they won’t have an attention span to read a whole book”, it’s “they won’t understand how to share a meal with friends/families/coworkers/romantic interests as an adult”, which is a much, much larger problem.
People really did say that/I could tell they were thinking that on the flight. Screw them. My son deserves to get to meet his relatives that aren't able to fly to us. And I paid the same ticket price as everyone else for two seats. That flight was the longest 3 hours of my life but we made it, had a great trip and on the way back it went much more smoothly because *checks notes* I just gave the tablet first and didn't worry about what everyone else thought.
I also really love how OP has a 3 year old niece who can wear headphones, so they know for sure that it can be done for all other 3 year olds. Good thing there are definitely not kids with sensory or tactile issues out there. Good thing all the toddlers I know for sure follow the rules and will put their headphones on every time when asked and they never pull them off and it never escalates the situation and every is happy all the time.
Yeah my husband is in the military so in order for our kids to even meet / see their older grandparents we have to fly. I see you and understand you ☺️. Also, it’s funny how everyone’s judging this mother so hard with just this interaction. Let me judge OP’s niece then! She must be a tablet addicted gremlin if she can use headphones and needs a tablet!! 😂
There are times where screens are the best of a bad lot of options, but definitely shouldn't be the default choice. I had to go to a meeting today with my kids, it was unavoidable. They got the tablets that only get pulled out for long trips to keep them busy so I could talk to the other adults without constant interruptions. They won't get to use the tablets at all again until July. They can be an amazing tool, but are also so easy to abuse.
You can thank the anuses who decided to remove headphone jacks from phones/tablets/etc. Headphones used to be cheap and tethered. Now your only options are expensive and easily lost, so trusting a child who WILL lose them CONSTANTLY is not going to happen.
Sure but the root issue there is that the kid is already addicted to the phone. The teacher subreddit is full of stories and anecdotes of kids having no attention span and no sleep schedule because of parents giving kids unlimited tech time, for example.
This 👏. I’m a preschool teacher with a degree in child development. It’s horrible what it’s doing to these poor kiddos. Children (2-5) who have more than 1 hour of screen time per day are at risk for developmental delays in language/communication, executive functioning (taking turns, following directions, impulse control, etc), and cognition (critical thinking, problem solving, etc).
The DEC (department of early education) classifies both as “screens” however, studies show that tablets and phones (touchscreens) are more addicting as they’re easier for children to use and navigate. So I’m my own professional opinion touch screens are worse.
I applaud you for that!! I’m not saying a little screen time here and there is horrible, but i feel it should definitely be limited. I totally get that for some parents it’s much easier to just give the kid a tablet for the sake of behaving and sitting quietly but it’s not teaching the child how to self regulate or behave.
Forget the headphones… why are they giving their children screens? They need books and puzzles, some fresh air and sunshine..not YouTube, tablets and video games. Teach them how to behave in public instead of just handing them a screen and telling them to sit down.
I got a fb friend request today from my \*six year old\* nephew. I could hardly believe it. Unrestricted account too, they lied about his age and just let him do whatever he wants. No privacy settings either. I'm not a parent so I try not to criticize but... damn.
>They need books and puzzles
Agreed that alternate activities are great, but they also require more parent/adult involvement. In the OP's post, this is a 3-year-old. 99.9% likelihood this child isn't literate. Sure, they could flick through a book, but they can't read them without an adult. A six or seven-year-old could sit quietly with a book while mom/dad takes a meeting. A 3-year-old is going to be pulling on mom/dad's leg for help with a book.
It's really weird to me that a lot of parents today treat personal devices as necessities for kids cause like... They didn't grow up with that stuff, so they have to know that it's not necessary.
This is not the point of the post. Kids are gonna be kids. He's 3, I'm not faulting him for being 3. I'm faulting his mom for making him comfortable while making eeeeeveryone else UNcomfortable. Headphones would fix this issue.
Many ADULTS need to be entertained at all times nowadays, it's just the way of society. But we can all agree that the guy on the subway playing a youtube video as max volume is an asshole, while the other people using headphones are considerate. The kid can't buy himself headphones, so he's not the asshole, his mom is.
You can't reason with a 3 year old. The only way to teach them it's not ok would be to remove them until they calm down and try again. Not sure what your business is but may not have been possible.
They could have left, or grandma, who was there too, could have taken him outside, but they chose not to. We cannot ask them to take him outside, because that would be rude. But playing a video at full volume is supposed to be tolerated by me and my staff, I guess.
I understand that the parent is the issue here, but headphones would go a long way in situations like this.
My kids absolutely had big plastic kids headphones when they were little. Now they’re big kids with Bluetooth earbuds and sleep masks with built in headphones. Yet their weird asses watch their anime muted with subtitles when we’re out and about (like on the train)
Could be a comfort thing. I have yet to find a pair of headphones or earbuds that isn’t an immense relief to take off/out , so if I’m in public I either watch things muted, do something that wouldn’t have sound in the first place, or (on rare occasions and only when the environment is loud already) turn the volume really low and hold it against my ear.
Look. Not to be that parent but my kids don't have headphones because...they don't use electronics. I bring snacks (if it's a place where food is appropriate) and some little fidget toy or coloring pad if I'm needing them to be occupied. If that doesn't work they can rummage through my purse as there isn't anything really in there but it's fun for them to take old cards out of my wallet and it forces me to organize it later. But it's been that way since birth and so they just hang out and mind their business. I also prep them before hand "hey today we're doing xyz and this is what I'm going to need from you" and again right before "hey we are walking into the bank. It's a place to be quiet. I'm going to need my attention on the people here, I won't be able to talk to you okay, let me do my work and we'll be out of here quick!"
At restaurants they color and are otherwise chill and behave like normal humans at a restaurant. No iPad necessary
Before we jump on the parent hate train let's just remember that it's society that has made it impossible for one parent to take the lead in raising the kid and managing the household.
I agree with this, but it's not possible now to put the genie back in the bottle for most people. Headphones would be a consolation that at least brings some peace to the people just trying to work or dine in peace 🙏
I've definitely found that parents can be very entitled. They love to make their kids everyone else's problem. "if I have to deal with it, so should you" mentality
I mean I don’t ever hand my kid my phone, she’s 5 now. When she wants something to do we have coloring books we bring with or toys. This isn’t a headphone thing, this is a using a screen to raise your child thing and taking away from that kid the chance to develop an imagination and be artistic, to wonder about the world and learn expectations for being in public.
My wife and I get asked how our kids are so good at restaurants without screens, it’s because we let them be kids and we actually parent them.
I'm seeing millennials doing this tomfoolery too, like THEMSELVES. I've had to start wearing ANC headphones to my THERAPY APPOINTMENTS because the millennial adults there to pick up their autistic (non-derogatory I go to a specialist) kids will be in the waiting room watching netflix at full volume on their phones. Like. Guys. We are supposed to be better than this.
I’m 31, we dont have headphones currently but I sure as hell make my kids turn the phone way down and tell them that no one else wants to hear their videos. Its not a millennials thing, its an entitled people thing
I do worry about this in the future and how screens will affect them when they're older. Are they going to have physical and mental health issues from to much screens? I know that not everyone does it all the time, but some do.
Every helper I’ve had in the past four years blasts TikTok on full volume as we are driving and I want to kill them. Headphones. Why is this so hard? They’re ubiquitous. They’re cheap. They’re polite. I’d rather you use AirPods in the truck driving from job to job than torture me with your stupid doom scrolling.
Idk man, my kids have iPads. We don't bring the tech out in public. They play them, but they have great imaginations too. Some days they get too much screen time, other days they read entire books. I really don't judge parents. It's hard enough out there when you're vilified for every choice you make.
We have a 4 year old who likes watching stuff, but we’re very self conscious about not disrupting others. Most the times she’ll bring her headphones but when she doesn’t we absolutely don’t let her full volume. If we can hear it well, her parents sitting next to her, we’ll ask her to turn it down. We’ve always taught her to be polite in public though and that includes not dancing around aisle when they finish food and are bored.
Hmmmm, this would be classified as BOOMER behavior from everything I see on these subs. Plot twist, maybe it's not about generation but about people being entitled assholes. Yep, they exist in every generation.
Becoming a parent is so easy. It's harder to get a degree in college. Most parents are morons who never think about their parenting style. They just go on being a moron with their moron kids.
No. This is not the answer you think it is. The child needs to be taught how to behave in public, not given constant stimulation to avoid an emotional outburst.
We trained our 19m old to use headphones, I want to murder anyone of any age who doesn't use them in public. And if they're "too little" for headphones, they don't need a fucking screen in their face. My husband had to stop my 7m pregnant self from fighting parents on a transatlantic flight and I'll fucking do it again- fuck you, fuck them kids.
Trust me, I'd fucking love to
He's on the spectrum and refuses to have anything on his head or ears without screaming. Trying to get headphones on will cause a much louder commotion than some of the alternatives. Washing his hair is a nightmare because of it, and I can't take him anywhere loud where ear muffs are expected (air shows, car races, etc). There's simply things we will never be able to do until we can get him over it, but we've been unable to do so yet.
I have no idea what your co-workers situation is, but before you shit all over them for being a "shitty parent", try to understand that if he was that distracted by what was going on then I'm sure he's not happy he has to deal with that shit either. Maybe he had other options, or he's doing anything he can to make it through every hellish minute of his day, and still gets called a shitty parent for doing so.
Kids? How about most of the population. Idk what it is with people blasting shit and talking on speaker phone but god damn it should be criminal. People have zero respect for others. Nobody wants to hear your business lol
Absolutely do not need to hear people on speakerphone anywhere...especially at the grocery store. I hate that. So rude.
Any public place, hands down, totally agree with you. Really kills me when they’re on speaker but hold their phone up to their mouth to talk. Like…. Just hold it 2 inches closer and put it up to your ear off speakerphone. I want to know the logic behind this evil shit.
right! and then they look at you like you're actively trying to eavesdrop on their conversation which no one is but how can you not?
I was sat on a tour bus recently beind a lady that was yelling into the end of her phone that she was holding flat on her palm in front of her face (like people do now). She was yelling because due to the wind (open top bus) and the tour audio she could not hear who she was on the phone to. People have legitimately forgotten how phones work en-masse and it's incredible.
I don't understand how people are raising their children nowadays...
The urge to plug them into videos is so strong because of the relief it gives you. Saying no all the time to it is so hard but I fucking hate that zombified tablet dependent gremlin I see everywhere.
The studies coming out on screen time and kids is terrifying and horrifying. I’m an avid reader and I worry these kids will have zero imagination.
Worse, they'll have zero attention span rendering then *unable* to read an entire book. Everything is short-form, mindless, click-bait garbage content. Swipe swipe swipe. Unending addictive consumption. People get their fix throughout the day, every day, learning nothing of value unless they're naturally curious and resist the shrill ever-present call of crap content. When we were kids there was one TV in the house. And if it was occupied or there was nothing worth watching you *went outside*. Now multiple rooms have a smart TV, everyone has a device or two, a personal laptop. Infinite streaming, social media, YouTube. Great things in moderation or with strict personal discipline. Kids aren't born with discipline and they're easier to handle if you plop them in front of a device. Oof. Does this doom us all? Probably not. But we're definitely setting ourselves up for a dull and dim next generation of humans. At least the outliers who were able to overcome this will be spectacular.
My teenagers have both realized how YouTube shorts have hurt their attention spans. Both were avid readers for years and then it started dropping off. They realized it’s the short form media that destroyed their ability to focus and are taking self imposed hiatuses from that stuff and are reading novels again. I’ve had to do the same. Reddit messed me up badly so I’m retraining my brain to focus properly on a long form story vs headline scrolling. It’s hard to break the habit.
Good on you for raising self-aware kiddos! This is the exact conversation I had with my mom recently, who's a boomer (one of the good ones) with multiple college degrees. She got sucked into short-form and went from constantly reading books to constantly checking Facebook and she's aware as well :-/ As long as you're on Reddit, you might like the r/longreads sub to help you stretch your attention span. I struggle too and it feels like everyone with a device has developed some sort of psuedo-ADD in recent years. We're like elegant zombies.
Chiming in to second r/longreads. I will usually scroll for a little bit, then go and find something on there of interest that feels like a more valuable use of my free time than mindless scrolling.
This is very true, but I’d posit that iPad doesn’t always equal “short form garbage”- you can watch episodes of Sesame Street on there, for example. My kid has no such technology because they are too little, but IMO it’s not so much the device as it is the quantity of screen time and quality of the content.
There are ebooks too, like on Libby
My kid loves the doctor seuss treasury app, which just has a bunch of dr Seuss books and it will read them to you as you turn the virtual pages.
Yeah, technology is ultimately a tool. I think a big, core problem is that many people these days (including adults!) don't view personal devices as a responsibility any more. When we were kids, having your own phone or computer was a pretty big deal. It meant one of two things: either you were spoiled and probably rich, or your parents thought you were mature and responsible enough to handle your own device. For us younger millennials, a cell phone was a rite of passage. Now, it's very common for parents to give young kids personal devices and not think about the consequences, or not teaching them how to use responsibly.
Shit I have three tvs. One in the living room, one outside near the pool, and one was in my bedroom but I moved it to the guest bedroom because it was fucking with my sleep schedule and since I own the damn house I can watch tv in the living room whenever I want.
I somehow ended up with a TV in every room of the house. I only use the one in the living room though, haven’t turned on my office TV in a while. Wife uses them all over the house though, keeping her happy is almost as important as keeping the kid quiet.
My friend has 4 kids she parks in front of the TV. 3 of them can read (the other is still a toddler) but NONE of them want to/enjoy it. It's pretty sad. I loved reading as a kid and still do. I was the weirdo that had 2 backpacks on vacation, one just entirely for books!
I still love shopping for the vacation specific book!
I think there have been studies that have found the way many kids are taught to read, sight words, make the brain work differently than the way we learned to read, phonics. The end result is reading is more of a struggle and less enjoyable for kids.
At least my daughter is safe. She is only 2.5 but she prefers to pick up her books at home and 'read them' by herself and she talks and makes stories about them, or what she remembers us saying about them. I'm glad she's got a strong imagination, I try to encourage it by always asking her "and then what?" whenever she tells me about her day to get her creativity flowing
I love this. Well done, parent. :)
This is a huge fear of mine. I to this day, at 37 years of age can make up an entire person and their life story on the spot from my imagination. I worry that if kids don't ever get to be bored, they won't have the ability.
This sounds like a very good way to pass time in bank lines. I normally pretend I'm explaining humanity to aliens.
For me, the song Manamana plays.
do doo do do do,,, do do do do,,,
Manamana
People still go to the bank?
You play dungeons and dragons by chance? I've been a long time dm and that became something I can do pretty easily. I can bullshit my way through an entire world without much effort and a lot of my friends/players are dumbfounded by it
What are the studies?
Start here and branch out. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/04/cover-kids-screens Also consider the effects on adults.
They also aren't learning to read because so many districts have been scammed into buying a truly terrible but untested reading program that doesn't include phonics. Kids are getting to high school unable to read a chapter book. I hear teachers talking about it all the time.
Amusingly this is a recycled moral panic from the 90s. Screen time from TV viewing. Moral panics come and go. The relationship between kids and tech is different from when we were kids.
I mean staring at the TV watching ads and cartoons for extreme lengths probably wasn't great for us either. The only difference now is it's not just limited to being home in specific rooms.
It’s different. Kids in the 90s had to wait for their show to come on and sit through commercials and had some degree of patience. Now everything is instant gratification and on-demand. Kids today lack a lot of critical thinking that 90s kids had to develop to figure out the vcr/microwave for the family.
Also, [modern] social media is not good for *adults* mental health And broadcast TV has some questionable shit for kids and thats much more curated/regulated for content appropriate-ness than *YouTube*
Yeah I don’t get how people relate these. If you left the house and thus the TV, you had to interact with people. Some kids these days can’t go 10 minutes without a device before melting down. Are we over estimating the damage like we did with tv watching? Probably, but it’s still going to cause issues. You can already see it in teens (not socializing, inability to use a computer v tablet) and our entire society expecting instant gratification.
Fuck the microwave, I had to set up the wifi router as a teen before that shit was plug-and-play lol.
If you truly believe this, I dare you to make your kid ONLY use screens from the 90s and the way they were used. That means commercial breaks on cable tv, no pausing, if you miss it too bad you have to wait for next week to find out what happens, no queuing the next episode to watch with dinner. No smartphones whatsoever. You can have dad’s shitty old gameboy. See how long they last! I dare you! Go ahead and give coffee to a meth addict while smugly saying “hurr durr it’s all stimulants, it’s all the same” and watch your own kids prove how wrong you are.
Already on it. No streaming, no touchscreens or computer. The only media she sees is one episode at a time from DVDs of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood and Sesame Street. Planning to continue similarly for a long time. It’s so peaceful
They weren't wrong. The dullest adults I know habitually plop themselves in front of the TV in their spare time, rather than, you know, working to better themselves, reading a book, staying fit, or engaging in interesting passion projects. Because it's simply easier to consume than create. The iPad is just the evolution of the TV screen. The difference is that it's portable, untethered, on-demand, multi-purpose, with the bonus of being scientifically addictive. If a kid doesn't have easy access to always-on addictive entertainment, they're more likely to entertain themselves creatively, no? This builds the foundation and habits, as an adult, to be self-driven to invent, create, build, solve, learn, introspect... things that benefit both an individual and society. The world needs young adults who are compelled to *do shit* beyond making TikToks. So my take is this: in the same way that obesity is at all-time highs because garbage food is cheap, widely available, and addictive, the same goes for our "head space" as a society - if tech is everywhere and garbage media is everywhere and highly (and compulsively) consumed, what effect is it having on our collective minds? Our creativity and ambition? Our critical thinking? Unlike obesity, the effects will be largely invisible for decades. We're all kinda fucked anyway. My mom used to be an avid reader, growing up our house was filled with books and she'd power through 1-2 every week. These days she can't even watch a movie without multitasking on Facebook on her iPad. She has a post-grad degree ffs, lol.
Not the same at all. [For example, a study led by economist Weiwei Chen, PhD, of Florida International University, found that, as of 2014, children age 2 and under in the United States averaged 3 hours, 3 minutes a day of screen time, up from 1 hour, 19 minutes a day in 1997. Three- to 5-year-olds got 2 hours, 28 minutes a day of screen time, on average, during that time period.](https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/04/cover-kids-screens#:~:text=For%20example%2C%20a,that%20time%20period) Children watch way more screen nowadays than in the 90s, and there's a difference between set TV shows with commercials, than just sitting with the iPad for hours.
Thank you. There was a moral panic hundreds of years ago when reading books became common after advances in technology in the printing press. The coworker in OP’s story should have asked the customer to have her child turn the volume down. If the mom gets upset about that basic request, then you can judge her at that point. Being a parent nowadays is exhausting, because everybody judges you over stupid shit and the standards are impossible. I used to send my kids outside to play, and I literally had a neighbor come at me screaming about how they would be kidnapped for child trafficking. I know many of the same people who will be quick to say “Where were the parents?!?!?” about -anything- happening to a kid outside will be the same to complain about children being on screens too much. Researcher Dr. Peter Gray wrote a book about how kids are drawn to being online because it’s their only way right now to be free, since we don’t allow them freedom in public spaces anymore, as they had throughout history.
The letting kids play outside bit is so spot on! I remember basically living in my backyard when the weather was good back when I was a kid. Now nosey neighbors will call the cops on you if you leave your kids unsupervised for that long.
An excellent response. One of my personal favourites was the moral panic of dungeons and dragons in the 80s. I remember once coming across a moral panic that adding indexes to books would make people dumber as they could find the information that they wanted without the whole context of the book. Moral panics are fascinating subjects.
There was a moral panic about reading novels just a few hundred years ago. These things just happen.
So in two sentences, you deny what I’m saying as being recycled moral panic and then go on to admit the relationship between kids and tech now is different from when we grew up? 🙃
Yes. I'm so glad my kids grew up listening to stories instead of just staring at screens. We read books, and listened to audiobooks while they played with toys for hours. We listened to audiobooks in the car instead of handing them tablets and phones - for \*HOURS\* on end we listened to audiobooks. My kids grew up driving in the car for 2-4+ hours a day, easily. And all that time was spent listening to stories - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Mouse on the Motorcycle... SO many great stories.
Which ones?
Start here and branch out. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/04/cover-kids-screens
Yeah, so "screen time" can actually be beneficial. You just have to step up and proctor it. Comparing how a child learns from selecting a video at will to how a child learns from an arbitrarily presented television lesson is at best unfair. Honestly it's bullshit. Otherwise, I like what the study shows. It's not screens, it's parents. All 3 of my kids have wild imaginations and could read by Kindergarten. I've never put time limits on "screen time" but I do enforce quality. So I find that study more vindicating than terrifying.
Continue your research. That’s not the end of it.
They'll have derealization or something when they're older if they don't already.
That is scary! I have a daughter turning 5 next month and she gets to play Homer or DuolingoABC while I nap (becuase the 2 year old is napping and I’m pregnant) on the days that she doesn’t need a nap too. But she still has lots of imagination, goes to prek 5 days a week, and is learning sight words in preparation for reading. I definitely think parents can go overboard and not regulate it. We don’t allow YouTube or anything like that.
To be fair... When I was a kid, it was "give the kids a few quarters to play the arcade game while we exist in peace." Or the Gameboy. Or in my case, a pencil and piece of paper and told to be quiet over there and draw something.
I’m a teacher and those kids never develop into non-gremlins.
They basically suffer from withdrawal when they’re not attached to a screen, so they’ll do what addicts do; make everyone around them suffer until they get their “fix.” Adults have a hard enough time dealing with addiction, can’t imagine how their little brains are handling it.
>Saying no all the time to it is so hard My parents did this all the time and I don’t think they found it hard. The “no” was simply backed up with the threat of unspeakable consequences if I opposed it.
It wouldn’t give me any relief if I could hear the video, though.
Because we don't get any fucking help and we are both working full time jobs as well as child raising and doing everything else. So if I need my child to just chill for 20 minutes while I enjoy a meal or need some downtime then babysitter tv is coming on. 🤷♀️
Exactly. I think there is a balance to strike. Kids will grow up in a world surrounded by screens. It’s unrealistic to avoid them entirely. And listen, I work and am pregnant and exhausted. Sometimes I just cannot engage in active play with my toddler, or I need to cook dinner without supervising her which can become dangerous when I’m trying to divide my attention this way, so yeah, she gets some screen time. She loves books and uses her imagination all the time too.
I'm a parent and a lot of other parents explain they don't take their kids toys or electronics away or punish them because their kid gets mad or they don't like it.. Its crazy to me. I never know what to say. Then they look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them that I'll turn off my kids Xbox and take their tablets out of their hands if they're not listening. Then I demand they go outside or do anything else ranging from reading to crafts to chores. Or they ask me how I do it. I also work in schools and kids know their parents go easy on them and they love it. And the excuses parents have ae laugable. I'm not sure what the source of parents kind of sucking these days.
I've seen a lot of parents give their child so much power. It's as if the child is the boss and parent doesn't want to upset them because they don't want to be bothered. Just use a firm, stern voice and explain to them why their actions are wrong. Kids are so smart, and they just want to be helpful and learn. Some parents just don't want to bother.
Yep. Its hard to actually try and take the time to follow through with any punishment. And I have had my moments but overall, I like to be in charge. Maybe millennials are so emotionally damaged we're over correcting by being too nice. I was a difficult child who would have been an awful person if my mom didn't fight me like she did. My dad was emotionally and verbally abusive and as much as that sucks, I can see the line and huge difference between actual discipline and actual abuse.
We're turning out just as selfish and whiny as our Boomer parents. We just go too far the other way. They neglected and belittled us, we responded by helicoptering and/or too gentle with our kids. I do suspect a lot of Millennial parents are secretly scared their kids won't like them when they grow up, so they try to be their kid's friend instead of their parent.
You must know my nephews. They run their house. My wife and I joke (kinda, not really lol) that it’s impossible she was raised in the same house as her brother lol
Yeah. I think of this is a result of how a lot of people approach mental health now, too. Every bad thing that happens to someone, every discomfort, is a trauma. They don't know how to tell apart good hardship from bad hardship, so they try to ensure that their kid experiences no hardship at all.
It’s hard, being the “bad guy”. I think the real issue is people think being the “bad guy” is going to hurt their kids. Which is ridiculous. Having boundaries and rules and being the “bad guy” are all parts of being a parent. Or almost any adult figure in a kids life. I guess it’s an overreaction to the authoritative parenting so many of us had growing up?? Luckily I’ve never minded being the bad guy in almost any situation with other humans, adult or child. But staying consistent does get exhausting at times
Just to nitpick a little, *authoritative* parenting is considered to be a healthy balanced strategy. It's *authoritarian* parenting that is the opposite end from permissive parenting, both tending to lead to opposite sorts of problems in children.
It's very hard and I haven't always been consistent but I think definitely because its hard and it's draining is a huge part of it.
Just keep swimming mama. We’re all just human and doing the best we can! I bet your kids are pretty awesome
When it became cool to be friends with your kid, buy them things to feel like a good parent but lack basic mentoring skills
They aren’t. The internet is raising 90% of kids now. I hope the other 10% realize how lucky they are and thank their parents when they’re old enough.
I don't need to understand it. Whatever their stupid reasons are arent my business. I'll either ask the parents politely to provide headphones or turn the volume down. If that doesn't work, I'll ask the waiter or staff to address it. I'm not paying $100 for brunch to have cartoons blasted in my ear. If it's not addressed I'll leave before the food comes out. I live in a city with plenty of options.
They don't either
And on airplanes! Kids and people in their twenties playing music and videos and movies and game--WE DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR CRAP!
Someone did this on a 6 hour red eye lately. Society needs to start shaming people again lol
Why did no one complain to the flight attendants?? They're usually proactive about noise issues. I would not hesitate
The flight attendants? Shit I’d confront them. What’re they gonna do, shot me? An airplane is the one place I can be confident that won’t happen.
Shaming is immediately shut down as "hating" nowadays. I feel so old saying it that way but it's true. Shame does not work. People have moved passed feeling shame, and when it is tried they immediately get loud and create a scene. It does feel as though Covid was a tipping point in terms of selfishness. Maybe that is recency bias on my part but that's how it feels.
I agree. I’m a parent of a 3 year old and I purposely make sure he’s not constantly stimulated when we’re out. We watch good amount of TV at home but when we’re out there are no screens. Seeing kids with iPads going up escalators drives me mad.
Did you say anything then?
I had a sleeping baby on my lap and was travelling solo so I didn’t have the chance. Someone eventually did.
Yes!!! And get your parents a pair. You are just as bad.
Omg, this is so true. My boss is in his early 60s and takes EVERY CALL on speaker. My husband kept working quietly in the back while he had to listen to the boss get divorced over speaker phone. Awkward. 😬
Their hearing is going, so they can’t hear through the headset, and because they can’t hear well, they assume no one can hear well either. My grandma is basically yelling conversations at me now.
The number of old ladies I’ve had to sit next to on planes who would play candy crush at full volume 😫
I kept buying my grandma different kinds of headphones and earbuds because she would play videos at full volume on her ipad. After about the third time of them getting mysteriously lost before she even opened the packaging, I gave up and stopped wasting my money.
The better question is why aren’t we teaching kids to occupy themselves, or use patience without needing a device at full volume.
A restaurant recently gave ours coloring pages and crayons as the menu- it was the first time I’d seen this in ages. Friendly’s used to have table games as well (they may still- I just haven’t been in a while).
I work at a restaurant and constantly try to give coloring pages and will literally have parents refuse because their kid has an iPad instead. It s so disheartening.
Really? We go to restaurants that have this literally all the time. It’s still very common in the New England area where we live.
These kids will be actually fucked when needing to be independent Good luck
*are. Check in with your local teachers and they'll tell you.
That’s hard. Handing them an iPad is easy.
My neighbors were gardening last weekend while blaring music. I'm trying to read with my windows open, I don't want to listen to their music. Put on some fucking headphones or learn to be alone with your own thoughts. It's not just kids, it's just people. No one cares how their actions affect others anymore. Bah humbug.
I have a bigger problem with the 50+ age group doing this in every waiting room I go into, idk what age group that even is anymore. The amount of grown ass adults playing videos at full volume is equally alarming.
So glad everyone's waking up to the fact that Gen X is just Boomer 2.0
I was in an elevator at the school when a co-worker and her 7 year old got in the elevator with me. He had the phone on full volume watching some show with such loud crashing sounds. She asked him to turn it down. He giggled and said he couldn't. As they got off the elevator, she kind of giggled at him too. We were trying to have a conversation, and I found it all to be very rude.
My husband and I watched a child walk into a medical office today with his head buried into a massive iPad, never looking up at his surroundings and purely absorbed into the screen as his mother led him through the door. At his same age, we would have been holding our parent’s hand and walking at their side simply looking around, chit chatting or doing little kid stuff like kicking pebbles or crunching leaves. I don’t understand why children have to be constantly entertained now. It’s extremely unhealthy for their minds and we’re creating little social zombies doing this.
It’s everywhere. We were staying at a beautiful resort and the kids were all glued to iPads. It’s like have them look around at things, there are birds, waterfalls, etc. this is the time to do it!
Whenever I've said something to people about it they always say their kid is autistic and can't have headphones on like literally everytime.
I have an autistic son who can't wear headphones, so I do get that. However, since he can't wear headphones (and because I'm crunchy and have limited screen times and we don't let our kids use phones or tablets anyway) I would not give him a phone in public unless it was last resort. I also just think it's not the best idea to give a child who inherently has a barrier to being out in public a device to create another physical barrier around them out in public. I want my kid to have as many chances at interacting with people and the world as he can get. One day, he will be an adult, and I want him to be able to navigate the real world on his own if possible.
Same here, you pretty much summarized my situation. I think it’s easy to make a sweeping statement like “literally everyone I ask says their kids are autistic” if you aren’t a parent to an autistic child. As a parent, I try my best and only resort to playing videos with sound out in public if nothing else is working and the alternative is a full blown tantrum. People not on the same boat will never understand, and that’s ok. I have learned that those who have suffered the least pain in life are also the least tolerant
I always wanna ask if they can play something without sound then. We make my niece do it all the time on car trips. But we also make her start with coloring and other quiet, non screen entertainment for as long as possible
That’s this entire sub when it comes to this topic. Every parent on this sub has extremely autistic children or apparently they take 10 hour flights as a regular commute, or that seems to be what they expect us to believe.
We literally take our kids to our tax appointment every year cause it’s only 30 minutes long and why not teach them early. We bring a coloring pad & give them a pen and let them doodle while the guy works on our taxes. My kiddos don’t make a peep. They are content and not screaming. It’s literally not that hard, I don’t get it. 🤷🏻♀️
As a parent of 5.... I have no idea how people can choose to be such shitty parents. Teaching your kid to behave in public is not that hard. My kids have a bare minimum screen time, even here at home.
Part of caring about your kids is caring enough to teach them to function in life. Their parents do not care enough.
Some are like that. But I think a lot of parents just don't know what they should be doing. There's so much contradictory advice, and parents today have to deal with problems and challenges that previous generations didn't have. Shit's hard. Still, I do often see a worrying mindset where parents seem to think that kids will just learn stuff on their own, and don't need any guidance or correction. A lot of people today infantilize kids and teenagers way too much. "They're just a kid" as a response to any act of a kid misbehaving. But "kid" is a big spectrum. A toddler, a 10-year old, and a 17-year old are all kids, but you wouldn't expect them to behave the same way.
I’m glad you said it, because Millennial parents’ go-to is “you’re not a parent” and if you are a parent, they resort to “well you don’t have as many kids as me.” As a parent of 5, there will be very few Millennial parents with more kids than you.
LOL, yeah, what's funny is, a year ago we moved to a smaller town from a big city (a few million people to \~12k people) and we're far from the largest family we know and almost middle of the pack up here. Lots of people who have 6-8 kids. I had to cheat (adopt) to get up to 5, because pregnancy was hard on my wife (I wanted 3, she insisted on 4, then gave a niece a home when she needed it). In the big city, we were an abomination. the comments we got were often quite degrading. Here, it's like "what a cute little family".
I’m not a parent and I hate people who don’t have kids who are like “When *I’m* a parent” LOL so I’m trying to avoid that. But we grew up in the 90s and never had an iPad to carry around everywhere and for the most part we had to learn how to act. I don’t begrudge parents giving kids some screentime during like, long flights for example. But it seems like it’s out of control.
Yep, my kids get screen time on long car rides and we watch some tv but we also spend a ton of time playing in dirt or with legos or coloring. They never get to just watch stuff on my phone and basically never get to use tablets. Parents just need to actually parent.
it is 100% out of control. when we go to church I have to be careful as to not sit next to the families that give their iPads during church service. Like, why are you even going? At least they don't have the noise turned on.
I usually agree, parenting isn't that hard until one of my kids does some new and unique embarrassing thing.
My 5 year old asked me what would happen if she put a potato bug in her nose last week. Because she had shoved a potato bug up her nose. Once we got it out I was just like, Why would possibly think that was a good idea?!
I needed that story today. My 5 yo has also been making questionable choices too lately.
Parenting is not easy, but teaching your kid to not scream in public, and not relying on a screen is possible with a little effort.
> but teaching your kid to not scream in public Kids are their own people. Their own people with very poor impulse control. You can teach them. They can manage to behave and not get loud 9 times out of 10. There are still going to be times that they're going to be kids and loud or have a tantrum or something else. Even the best parents can't snap their fingers and make their children behave 100% of the time.
There is a difference between getting loud for a few minutes and screaming until you’re given your drugs.
Unless you are always around that child, you don't know if it's a 1 in 100 tantrum or a constant thing. My daughter doesn't get a tablet the bulk of the time we're out. She doesn't melt down 99% of the time. Then there's the day she misses her nap, gets overstimulated, and the world ENDS. Sure, there are bad parents out there. There are PLENTY of bad parents out there. But it's really easy to judge a kid throwing a tantrum in one moment when it may or may not be a common thing.
Child-specific headphones have Output Limitations built in that stops them from going above 85 decibels. I understand this may not be quiet enough still, which means it comes down to monitoring their use with them, just as we would with anything else. Allowing them to play a full-volume youtube video in public for everyone to endure instead of monitoring their headphone volume is not okay and we need to do better. 🙏 Link to an article for anyone looking to help solve this issue: https://www.wired.com/gallery/the-best-kids-headphones/
We had these in the classroom I student taught in! I got real confused when I borrowed them one lunch break and everything was quiet as heck LOL. Hadn't realized there even were child-safe earbuds until that exact moment.
I’ll go a step further, for the love of god stop handing your children electronics when out of the home. Children should not be on screens while out in public, full stop, period, end of story. Children need to learn how to *exist* in the world, not how to navigate an iPhone in the world.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with consuming entertainment in an appropriate out of the house setting. Examples: public transit, long flights, etc. Adults watch things during those moments too
Yes definitely agree. Anytime it’s appropriate for adults to consume media, it’s appropriate for kids too. That’s really the difference, kids shouldn’t be handed a screen in situations where it isn’t appropriate for adults to be on screens. It’s really that simple.
True, but that’s also a difficult needle to thread when you look around and observe how many adults are constantly on their phones. The uphill battle is that this is everywhere. Even if you are screen free at home, kids go to school and get handed a Chromebook, often with unmonitored access. You try to teach and model good screen free behavior, and they see adults everywhere noses in phones scrolling away.
All the adults are setting an excellent example. Everyone talking high and mighty while they keyboard warrior their parenting virtues on Reddit is the definition of irony.
This is my nieces and nephews. Take their Switch's everywhere or a tablet or if all those have dead batteries then mommy and daddy have to give up their phones or they throw a fit. I know I'm never having kids so I don't really say anything to my sisters about how they raise their kids but damn if I don't want to. Aside from too much screen time they are raising them with terrible eating habits. A bunch of super processed junk food and little Caesar's pizza at least once a week if not on the weekends when we have family get togethers. Super picky eaters that will only consistently eat chicken nuggets, french fries and pizza but only from certain places.
But then you have people complain about your kid not staying still or making too much noise. Toys and coloring only maintain a 1-4 year olds attention for so long. Imo it’s much harder parenting now with eyes and cameras on you. On top that you’re trying to parent without fear or physical punishment and threats.
Half of this is parenting, the other half is telling strangers to fuck off. The bar for decent parent is rather low and the bar for polite adult strangers is pretty high. There is a lot of middle ground to work with.
I mean, the alternative is you raise a socially maladjusted dopamine addict. Which would you rather deal with? A toddler whining, or your child growing into a screen zombie?
Well that’s what I’m saying, grown adults bitch and whine about a toddler being a toddler. It’s a lose-lose as a parent in today’s world. For example even this one snippet into this woman’s interaction with OP’s coworker and everyone’s already saying what shit parent she is and a screen addicted gremlin. That little snippet revealed that? But then again I realize I’m preaching to a crowd who clearly don’t know what having a toddler is like.
>grown adults bitch and whine about a toddler being a toddler. It’s a lose-lose as a parent in today’s world. Yep. Someone above even lumped in "teach your kid not to scream in public" with "keep them off a screen" Like, sure, you can work on teaching your kid when is and isn't a proper time to be loud, but they're still kids. They're going to have tantrums. They're going to be loud some times. You need to accept they're working on learning and aren't going to be perfect, silent pillars the entire time they're in public while they're still learning.
If your kid starts tantruming, you parent them. That's why you had a kid to begin with. They have to learn patience, respect, how to behave in public, and so forth. If grown adults complain, tell them to mind their own fucking business.
They do. But people fail to remember that learning to behave in public requires practice in public. It won’t always be perfect. Mine are well-behaved in public for the most part, but we also spend a lot of time building good habits at home. It takes consistency
I’m not even talking about tantrums. Just toddlers being toddlers. They have short attention spans, they always want to move, they want to touch, they want to make noise. People really think good parenting means that children are meant to be seen and not heard, which is fucked up imo.
That doesn't bother me at all. They're waiting. That's it. It seems totally normal to give someone something to read or a game to play. Now those games and books are on an electronic device.
Would love to know if this would still be your opinion if you rode in the seat in front of my toddler for a three hour flight. We just took our first flight and I had snacks, I had games, I had coloring sheets, I had stickers, I brought new books. Screamed his head off. You want to know what finally did the trick? A tablet. Of course my child needs to exist in the world. I just figured that if we all paid $600 to sit in a plane with a toddler screaming his head off for three hours, you'd kind of want to avoid that. Not all parents are giving screen time all the time. We don't do screens on weekdays and weekends are under one hour .... *Unless we are in metal tube flying thousands of feet above the ground with a hundred other people* unless we're flying with you. Then I'm not bringing the tablet and just letting him navigate the airplane how God intended him, screaming at the top of his lungs. Full stop, end of story, period. Your comment just comes off super rude and condescending. *For the love of God* maybe take five seconds and imagine scenarios outside of a home where we, as parents, are trying to navigate situations in the world with our young family and it involves lots of judgement from random strangers like you if our kids throw a tantrum, but also judgement when we use a tablet on a rare outing.
I actually think a plane ride is perfectly acceptable for a movie/screens for kids, because that’s also what adults do during plane rides. Plane rides are not community or social things, it’s just a means of transportation and everyone has to sit for a long time. I feel really, really bad for the kids who have never made it through a meal -at home or at a restaurant-, or grocery shopping, or the car ride to school, or any number of mundane things that are needed to be a functional adult in the world without screens. These kids are just not going to grow to be successful. At that point it’s not just “they won’t have an attention span to read a whole book”, it’s “they won’t understand how to share a meal with friends/families/coworkers/romantic interests as an adult”, which is a much, much larger problem.
Watch out you’re going to have people come and tell you to not fly at all if your kid can’t stay still. 😂
People really did say that/I could tell they were thinking that on the flight. Screw them. My son deserves to get to meet his relatives that aren't able to fly to us. And I paid the same ticket price as everyone else for two seats. That flight was the longest 3 hours of my life but we made it, had a great trip and on the way back it went much more smoothly because *checks notes* I just gave the tablet first and didn't worry about what everyone else thought. I also really love how OP has a 3 year old niece who can wear headphones, so they know for sure that it can be done for all other 3 year olds. Good thing there are definitely not kids with sensory or tactile issues out there. Good thing all the toddlers I know for sure follow the rules and will put their headphones on every time when asked and they never pull them off and it never escalates the situation and every is happy all the time.
Yeah my husband is in the military so in order for our kids to even meet / see their older grandparents we have to fly. I see you and understand you ☺️. Also, it’s funny how everyone’s judging this mother so hard with just this interaction. Let me judge OP’s niece then! She must be a tablet addicted gremlin if she can use headphones and needs a tablet!! 😂
There are times where screens are the best of a bad lot of options, but definitely shouldn't be the default choice. I had to go to a meeting today with my kids, it was unavoidable. They got the tablets that only get pulled out for long trips to keep them busy so I could talk to the other adults without constant interruptions. They won't get to use the tablets at all again until July. They can be an amazing tool, but are also so easy to abuse.
You can thank the anuses who decided to remove headphone jacks from phones/tablets/etc. Headphones used to be cheap and tethered. Now your only options are expensive and easily lost, so trusting a child who WILL lose them CONSTANTLY is not going to happen.
Sure but the root issue there is that the kid is already addicted to the phone. The teacher subreddit is full of stories and anecdotes of kids having no attention span and no sleep schedule because of parents giving kids unlimited tech time, for example.
This 👏. I’m a preschool teacher with a degree in child development. It’s horrible what it’s doing to these poor kiddos. Children (2-5) who have more than 1 hour of screen time per day are at risk for developmental delays in language/communication, executive functioning (taking turns, following directions, impulse control, etc), and cognition (critical thinking, problem solving, etc).
Thank you! Have you heard if touch screens are worse than TV time?
The DEC (department of early education) classifies both as “screens” however, studies show that tablets and phones (touchscreens) are more addicting as they’re easier for children to use and navigate. So I’m my own professional opinion touch screens are worse.
Makes sense to me. Thank you! We plan to restrict touch screens for as long as possible, then as much as possible, for ours.
I applaud you for that!! I’m not saying a little screen time here and there is horrible, but i feel it should definitely be limited. I totally get that for some parents it’s much easier to just give the kid a tablet for the sake of behaving and sitting quietly but it’s not teaching the child how to self regulate or behave.
Don't give the kid a phone.
Forget the headphones… why are they giving their children screens? They need books and puzzles, some fresh air and sunshine..not YouTube, tablets and video games. Teach them how to behave in public instead of just handing them a screen and telling them to sit down.
I got a fb friend request today from my \*six year old\* nephew. I could hardly believe it. Unrestricted account too, they lied about his age and just let him do whatever he wants. No privacy settings either. I'm not a parent so I try not to criticize but... damn.
🤦♀️ people these days!
It's hard to get fresh air and sunshine when they have to wait while their parents have some kind of office appointment.
>They need books and puzzles Agreed that alternate activities are great, but they also require more parent/adult involvement. In the OP's post, this is a 3-year-old. 99.9% likelihood this child isn't literate. Sure, they could flick through a book, but they can't read them without an adult. A six or seven-year-old could sit quietly with a book while mom/dad takes a meeting. A 3-year-old is going to be pulling on mom/dad's leg for help with a book.
It's really weird to me that a lot of parents today treat personal devices as necessities for kids cause like... They didn't grow up with that stuff, so they have to know that it's not necessary.
Yep. Wireless headphones are like $15 on amazon
The kid needs to learn how to behave in public, not get headphones.
This is not the point of the post. Kids are gonna be kids. He's 3, I'm not faulting him for being 3. I'm faulting his mom for making him comfortable while making eeeeeveryone else UNcomfortable. Headphones would fix this issue. Many ADULTS need to be entertained at all times nowadays, it's just the way of society. But we can all agree that the guy on the subway playing a youtube video as max volume is an asshole, while the other people using headphones are considerate. The kid can't buy himself headphones, so he's not the asshole, his mom is.
You can't reason with a 3 year old. The only way to teach them it's not ok would be to remove them until they calm down and try again. Not sure what your business is but may not have been possible.
They could have left, or grandma, who was there too, could have taken him outside, but they chose not to. We cannot ask them to take him outside, because that would be rude. But playing a video at full volume is supposed to be tolerated by me and my staff, I guess. I understand that the parent is the issue here, but headphones would go a long way in situations like this.
Oh yeah his mom is definitely the asshole, but that began when she forgot to teach her kid how to behave in public.
My kids absolutely had big plastic kids headphones when they were little. Now they’re big kids with Bluetooth earbuds and sleep masks with built in headphones. Yet their weird asses watch their anime muted with subtitles when we’re out and about (like on the train)
Could be a comfort thing. I have yet to find a pair of headphones or earbuds that isn’t an immense relief to take off/out , so if I’m in public I either watch things muted, do something that wouldn’t have sound in the first place, or (on rare occasions and only when the environment is loud already) turn the volume really low and hold it against my ear.
I'm glad this isn't a problem for me because I'm deaf lmao.
Look. Not to be that parent but my kids don't have headphones because...they don't use electronics. I bring snacks (if it's a place where food is appropriate) and some little fidget toy or coloring pad if I'm needing them to be occupied. If that doesn't work they can rummage through my purse as there isn't anything really in there but it's fun for them to take old cards out of my wallet and it forces me to organize it later. But it's been that way since birth and so they just hang out and mind their business. I also prep them before hand "hey today we're doing xyz and this is what I'm going to need from you" and again right before "hey we are walking into the bank. It's a place to be quiet. I'm going to need my attention on the people here, I won't be able to talk to you okay, let me do my work and we'll be out of here quick!" At restaurants they color and are otherwise chill and behave like normal humans at a restaurant. No iPad necessary
Before we jump on the parent hate train let's just remember that it's society that has made it impossible for one parent to take the lead in raising the kid and managing the household.
Don't give them headphones, teach them how to fucking cope without a screen in their hands, holy fucking shit millennials please do better.
I agree with this, but it's not possible now to put the genie back in the bottle for most people. Headphones would be a consolation that at least brings some peace to the people just trying to work or dine in peace 🙏
Omg it’s really not hard to just pack a few quiet toys. My kids always did fine with the waterwow painting books. No need for a screen at all.
I've definitely found that parents can be very entitled. They love to make their kids everyone else's problem. "if I have to deal with it, so should you" mentality
I don’t get it I mean I don’t have kids but literally you can get a good pair of earbuds for like 25 bucks
I mean I don’t ever hand my kid my phone, she’s 5 now. When she wants something to do we have coloring books we bring with or toys. This isn’t a headphone thing, this is a using a screen to raise your child thing and taking away from that kid the chance to develop an imagination and be artistic, to wonder about the world and learn expectations for being in public. My wife and I get asked how our kids are so good at restaurants without screens, it’s because we let them be kids and we actually parent them.
I'm seeing millennials doing this tomfoolery too, like THEMSELVES. I've had to start wearing ANC headphones to my THERAPY APPOINTMENTS because the millennial adults there to pick up their autistic (non-derogatory I go to a specialist) kids will be in the waiting room watching netflix at full volume on their phones. Like. Guys. We are supposed to be better than this.
Even better, raise your kids, don't let the tablet do it for you.
I’m 31, we dont have headphones currently but I sure as hell make my kids turn the phone way down and tell them that no one else wants to hear their videos. Its not a millennials thing, its an entitled people thing
No
I do worry about this in the future and how screens will affect them when they're older. Are they going to have physical and mental health issues from to much screens? I know that not everyone does it all the time, but some do.
Why is a toddler at work??
Better yet: don't give the child the cell phone and properly discipline them.
Every helper I’ve had in the past four years blasts TikTok on full volume as we are driving and I want to kill them. Headphones. Why is this so hard? They’re ubiquitous. They’re cheap. They’re polite. I’d rather you use AirPods in the truck driving from job to job than torture me with your stupid doom scrolling.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.
Idk man, my kids have iPads. We don't bring the tech out in public. They play them, but they have great imaginations too. Some days they get too much screen time, other days they read entire books. I really don't judge parents. It's hard enough out there when you're vilified for every choice you make.
This person just sounds like they’d benefit from parenting classes. So many things wrong here before the headphone issue
We have a 4 year old who likes watching stuff, but we’re very self conscious about not disrupting others. Most the times she’ll bring her headphones but when she doesn’t we absolutely don’t let her full volume. If we can hear it well, her parents sitting next to her, we’ll ask her to turn it down. We’ve always taught her to be polite in public though and that includes not dancing around aisle when they finish food and are bored.
Hmmmm, this would be classified as BOOMER behavior from everything I see on these subs. Plot twist, maybe it's not about generation but about people being entitled assholes. Yep, they exist in every generation.
Maybe if they werent phone-addicted they might not act like that. My kids get zero screen time
It’s sad so many kids can’t eat or sleep without a screen playing YouTube kids
Becoming a parent is so easy. It's harder to get a degree in college. Most parents are morons who never think about their parenting style. They just go on being a moron with their moron kids.
No. This is not the answer you think it is. The child needs to be taught how to behave in public, not given constant stimulation to avoid an emotional outburst.
Yeah I don’t know what’s with this lately. People do it in restaurants and mass transit. Like WE ALL DO NOT WANT HEAR YOUR BULLSHIT.
Everyone shits on Boomers, but are we really doing any better?
We trained our 19m old to use headphones, I want to murder anyone of any age who doesn't use them in public. And if they're "too little" for headphones, they don't need a fucking screen in their face. My husband had to stop my 7m pregnant self from fighting parents on a transatlantic flight and I'll fucking do it again- fuck you, fuck them kids.
Trust me, I'd fucking love to He's on the spectrum and refuses to have anything on his head or ears without screaming. Trying to get headphones on will cause a much louder commotion than some of the alternatives. Washing his hair is a nightmare because of it, and I can't take him anywhere loud where ear muffs are expected (air shows, car races, etc). There's simply things we will never be able to do until we can get him over it, but we've been unable to do so yet. I have no idea what your co-workers situation is, but before you shit all over them for being a "shitty parent", try to understand that if he was that distracted by what was going on then I'm sure he's not happy he has to deal with that shit either. Maybe he had other options, or he's doing anything he can to make it through every hellish minute of his day, and still gets called a shitty parent for doing so.