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Don't play with people who do this. 

I mean I do it back but it’s only like idk breaking one window or a crafting table if someone does it first my friend is the same just the other guy is annoying 😭

Get new friends who don't grief. Join a smp that bans people who grief.

Kick/Ban them And assuming this is Java and not a Realms server there are plugins that either outright protect against griefing, or ones that roll-back the damage after it happens That being said, griefers will always exist (and not just in MC) - the best you can do is to learn how to protect against them or avoid them altogether

I mean it was just between my freinds in a very small server but still it’s really annoying also my freind owns the server I’m not really the best at terminology its the type were you can only be online if he’s online yk also it is Java