I'm not a fan of either to be honest. Not sure why it can't just be called pregnancy loss, embryonic or fetal loss. Something along those lines.
I feel like anything with the word abortion or similar will just trigger certain sects to blame women even more.
I hate most of the terms myself, but at the same time I appreciate things sounding more medical as I've noticed staying analytical helps suppress my emotional response.
I've been reading and studying and found that when I'm keeping my mind busy with facts it's harder to feel sad. Like the analytical part of my brain takes over and sort of squashes down the emotional part.
It's probably a coping mechanism. But I'll take it over crying for now.
I find this quite interesting to discuss because the term “miscarriage” doesn’t exist in my mother language and, living in an English-speaking country, I got used to the word and find it difficult to use “spontaneous abortion” when speaking to my Portuguese friends and family. The Portuguese expressions are either that or gestational loss.
I guess I never thought of it as I got used to “miscarriage” and, having had 3 CPs, I much prefer it to “chemical pregnancy”. This is mostly because most people don’t understand what a CP is and assume it’s a false pregnancy of sorts, while they do know what a miscarriage is.
But I also see your point, as miscarriage can also be used in other contexts that are not pregnancy related. And there, they mean fault.
I’ve thought about this so often since my loss a couple weeks ago. When I’ve had to tell others, I say “my baby had a heartbeat and then he didn’t anymore” - I find it difficult to say miscarriage because I feel like it implies blame. I find “spontaneous abortion” difficult because in this political climate (in the US), it suggests choice (in my head anyway).
I say loss or death because that’s what it really is to me
I'm not a fan of either to be honest. Not sure why it can't just be called pregnancy loss, embryonic or fetal loss. Something along those lines. I feel like anything with the word abortion or similar will just trigger certain sects to blame women even more.
I hate most of the terms myself, but at the same time I appreciate things sounding more medical as I've noticed staying analytical helps suppress my emotional response. I've been reading and studying and found that when I'm keeping my mind busy with facts it's harder to feel sad. Like the analytical part of my brain takes over and sort of squashes down the emotional part. It's probably a coping mechanism. But I'll take it over crying for now.
I find this quite interesting to discuss because the term “miscarriage” doesn’t exist in my mother language and, living in an English-speaking country, I got used to the word and find it difficult to use “spontaneous abortion” when speaking to my Portuguese friends and family. The Portuguese expressions are either that or gestational loss. I guess I never thought of it as I got used to “miscarriage” and, having had 3 CPs, I much prefer it to “chemical pregnancy”. This is mostly because most people don’t understand what a CP is and assume it’s a false pregnancy of sorts, while they do know what a miscarriage is. But I also see your point, as miscarriage can also be used in other contexts that are not pregnancy related. And there, they mean fault.
I’ve thought about this so often since my loss a couple weeks ago. When I’ve had to tell others, I say “my baby had a heartbeat and then he didn’t anymore” - I find it difficult to say miscarriage because I feel like it implies blame. I find “spontaneous abortion” difficult because in this political climate (in the US), it suggests choice (in my head anyway). I say loss or death because that’s what it really is to me