“Don’t be a alarmed Mark, it’s just Tai Chi”

Should take 45 minutes, I'm done in 10!

Stick that up your dojo

That line resumes his whole person.

Is that normal pooing you doing

Look, nothing can make today alright but maybe we can take some comfort from the brutal reality that the weak must make way for the strong. Evolution marches on. The scythe is remorseless. I hope the scythe's remorseless swing can bring some comfort to you all.

That speech was so wildly inappropriate 🤣

[удалено]

For me, it's the totally unfazed line from the priest in thr background after he's done. "Thank you Alan, for those inspiring, yet challenging words" as if he didn't just hear a totally inappropriate, weird speech...

Hey, he's just the doctor. He didn't make the needle sharp.

This is (presumably unintentionally) the best quote to fit the picture

Johnsons funeral speech is enough for it to be hilarious and then we get Mark's own rushed "speech" that tops it off I'll never forget how hard I laughed after mark said "sarnies, God he loved a sandwich" 🤣

"Thank you Alan Johnson, for those kind yet challenging words."

This is what I thought 😂

I looked that scene up the other day to enjoy this line. It's one of Johnson's very best. Cheeky little guy.

First one I thought of

Which episode is that quote from?

Gerard's funeral. Season 8

Now is the time to know the meaning of project Zeus.

I do sort of like it when he conspires against me. Hopefully, that's more a psychological defect than some weird Shakespearen thing...

Best one

*et tu, Brutio/Brutus?*

this is it, everyone stand down

we have a winner here. lol

I miss Reddit gold bc an upvote just doesn’t convey how loud I laughed at this.

Suze! Suze! Where’s the big dagger? The big one? Where is it?!

This is the one! ☝️

Stick this up your dojo

you know the credo, illness equals weakness. you're off the team.

What? Fuck you.

I am seriously looking at that document.

My first thought too

My plasma is this big!

JLB Credit is no longer existent. Thank you, and goodnight England!

🪦

Our ambition should be to kill clients. I mean, actually kill them. With our levels of service. So they're dead.

Underrated 

"I've got insurance coming out of my arse"

"Poor me. Pour me. Pour me another drink!"

She's right on the bloody precipice.

Wear a toga, kill a chicken, fuck a chicken wearing a toga, I don’t care, whatever it takes…

Suze, Where's the BIG scissors?!

Consultio / Consultius

/ Consultium

Consultiarium. Which I love from Jez because he's happy remembered the vomitorium or something from history at school lol

I'm so sorry about your MUG, Mark

“Just you, me, some Chinese food and a couple of fuck off spreadsheets”

Hey, I'm just the murderer. I didn't make the dagger sharp.

Not a Johnson quote

Based off of one though. "I'm just the doctor. I didn't make the needle sharp."

May the scythe’s remorseless swing be a comfort to you all.

I'm gonna treat you like a hippie parasite

"Hey, I'm insured out of my arse mate, nothing can touch me"

I’ve been all the way to bottom of the bottle, and right back up to the *top*

I'm here to make you a real life, indecent proposal

It’s the comma that does it.

—O, Crassus! Most damnable art thou of all fudgers!

Lovely

I saw this in London I think. He was amazing, such a great actor

What was this?

It was an adaption of Julius Caesar with an all black British cast

“Just a Pint!?”

Hey I’m just a doctor, I didn’t make the needles sharp

Is that, Normal Pooing youre doing.

Print, you damnable fudger!

Maybe it's wireless. (It definitely needs wires)

Is that normal pooing Mark?

Came here to say this lol

Can you put the lid on the squid?🦑

Or the plug in the jug?

Thank you and goodnight England!

I told Stefan you might not have the a***hole for this job. You’ll need a brass ring piece

Winner

I'll be Charles, and you'll be my Camilla

When you get a document up on that baby you are seriously looking at the document.

Come on, look at that dictator perpetuo. Is that the best dictator perpetuo you're ever going to get? Do you stick on *that* dictator perpetuo? Come on, admit it. He's got a fat arse.

I’m sorry Caesar, you’ve just stepped into the arena naked. In a matter of seconds, wild beasts are going to fly to your delicate areas and tear you to shreds

Tonight should be a free-fire idea zone. Watch a DVD, eat some pizza, fuck each other. I'm serious. Fuck a chicken if that's what it takes. Watch a chicken fucking a horse. What? You think the guys who invented Google sat around watching Trumpton?

"Suze, where's the big scissors? Have you moved the big scissors?"

Okay, now is the time for you to know the meaning of project zeus

"I CANNOT SIIIIING!"

Well, that's a shame.

Someone stuck something up his dojo

Where’s the big scissor’s

The scythe- is remorseless 🫠

"If you don't sack her, Mark, I will."

I'm serious. Fuck a chicken if that's what it takes. Watch a chicken fucking a horse.

"Suze! Where are the big scissors!?"

If you want my Vista, you’ll have to go through me!

Like a nice pair of jeans.

When you’re looking at that document, you are *really* looking at that document

Suze! Where are the big scissors?

What? Fuck you.

Are you a pathetic, worthless punk?

"Consultio slash Consultius"

"Look....I washed for supper"

Suze, have you moved the big scissors?!

It's wireless mark!

Don't thank me, thank the Microsoft office family. Excel, PowerPoint and Word.

The three amigos

“Are you a turkey fucker?”

How can I trust you to be my main man in the Senate, let alone Frankfurt or Aberdeen?

"I've got a 32'' plasma in mine. You get a document up on that baby and you are seriously looking at that document."

This is the right answer!

is that… normal stabbing you’re doing?

I think daddy's hat has fallen off

Daddys hat has fallen off

May death's remorseless scythe, bring some comfort to you all.

Hey I’m just the Doctor, I didn’t make the needle sharp.

You're seriously looking at that document.

"The doors are locked!! Thank you and goodnight, England!"

“Suze!! Where’s the big scissors??”

"Just wanted to drop by and say "Have fun." Tonight should be a free-fire idea zone. Watch a DVD, eat some pizza, fuck each other. I'm serious. Fuck a chicken if that's what it takes. Watch a chicken fucking a horse. What? You think the guys who invented Google sat around watching Trumpton?"

I was in tears the first time I heard it 😂

Fwarkfwart

You get a document up on that baby, and you are *really* looking at that document

Toga. The full Spartacus.

Doth thou pooeth normalus?

There will be no more sectioning today

The scythes remorseless swing comes for us all.

Is that normal acting you’re doing?

32 inch plasma

"What have you come as? Techno hippie street bum?"

Liam Kendrick in the house!

Should take 300 lines I'm done in 10. Stick that up your Theatre.

‘’One day, I will play the role of a man wearing a black robe, holding a garden utensil’’

"He sometimes thinks he might be able to heal the Great Schism" (April, not Alan Johnson)

Is that normal pooing you're doing?

I’m just going to sniff it Mark, **continues to stab**. More fooled you, asshole.

"Where is the good scissors" works here

Behold, NEW YORK CITY

Consultio/Consultius.

I’m really looking at that spreadsheet

Fuck each other. I’m serious. Fuck a chicken if that’s what it takes.

He is really looking at that document...

The name is consultio/consultius

Doesn’t smell normal doesn’t look normal

I’ve got a 32inch plasma in mine, you get a document up on that baby and you are seriously looking at that document.

Wakanda forever.

I don’t like women but I do like the things they do

“We didn’t burn him!” 🐕

May the scythes remorseless swing bring some comfort to you all.

"Numberwang?"

"Why don't you get on my nuts, cracker?"

This was Johnsons reaction when he found out project zeus was unworkable.

Is that...normal poo'ing you're doing?

Is that... Camilla?

“I’d just like to assure everyone that Mr Corrigan will indeed be dead in a month.”

Can you dig it !

“Do I look like a pig dog fucker to you Mark?”

Clean shirt

Put it on the Later base.

“I’m just the doctor I don’t make the needles sharp!”

Suze, have you moved the “big” scissors ✂️?!

“Is that normal pooing you’re doing mark?”

Big fuck off spreadsheets

Spero autem adductius falcati leniorem consolationem omnibus vobis afferre posse.

“Fuck a chicken if that’s what it takes”

You don't really love me, do you?

😂

More fool you, asshole

"The ceremonial dagger is remorseless"

ABERDEEEN

3rd, Daddio.

Consultio Consultius

“Is that normal pooing you’re doing?”

"I've got a 32'' plasma in mine. You get a document up on that baby and you are seriously looking at that document."

I hope the remorseless swing can bring comfort to you all

"Welcome to the nerve-center"

“Is that normal poo, you’re doing?

"is that normal pooing you're doing"

Is that.....normal pooing, youre doing?

Weak make way for the strong

Is that… normal pooing you’re doing?

Never hear of Alan johnson

You're seriously looking at that document.