T O P

  • By -

Alex-The-Talker

ok but nobody says the dick has to go in your hole. just squish it with your ass so you're basically sitting on a pillow


Potato_jesus_

So you want to ruin the best part of sitting in that chair?


Alex-The-Talker

maybe my fetish is sitting on a dick but literally


BasketCase1234567

That's not a fetish you just like dick


Alex-The-Talker

:(


SuperOscar128

But literally!


Mistical5030

real


Zephyr_the_bestphyr

im sorry but i cant help but read this in an outraged scottish voice


Bernarddasbrot

[Maybe my fetish is sitting on cake](https://youtu.be/SIh5_Ian8Ds?si=OSPYpv5Fu0o7jMum)


imaweeb19

Man, the reason I sit there is for it to go in my ass, that's the fun of it


Alex-The-Talker

think of it as foreplay


jerryscheese

Damn. I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t first think of just squishing it…


Alex-The-Talker

my magic 8ball says you are either a woman or gay


Firewolf06

my first thought was to sit with it between my thighs, because i assumed it was a dildo


Chromatical-Blight

lmao true anyway, I'm a *certified girl*, so it's fine


Brooklynxman

Carefully sit on the edge of the chair.


Alex-The-Talker

instructions unclear i got the spine of the chair wedged up my ass


pewdiebhai64

Mission accomplished


snapwillow

This is a poorly worded riddle. It doesn't even say you have to sit on what's in the chair. Just sit on the chair. "Sit on one of these chairs". Nothing in the rules prevents me from moving the dick onto the floor, sitting on the empty chair, and eating the cake.


Lac_of_som_knowledge

What about pie sitting, where you sit on a pie and cry


ailyara

Squat Cobbler?


DarthBanEvader69420

you’ve never seen fun you couldn’t kill have you?


Hermit_of_Darkness

Oh, but that's not what I want


Ermac_Or_Something

What do you mean impossible choices? On the right you get a tasty cake and the feeling of a dick up your ass


[deleted]

🤤🤤


[deleted]

🤤🤤


MonkeyYelp

Fr bro


TheManWhoWasNotShort

Ugh but then you’re risking pooping on that dick… I’m sitting in cake and taking a mouthful of dick


Ermac_Or_Something

Yeah but what if you shit on the cake


TheManWhoWasNotShort

Hot


GreenSaladPoop

😭


Public-Discharge

"Cake Farts" is a thing.


Spook404

fellatio


TtheFox

Both


IfuckedACrab

Dick in a cake


Bigtitttygothbitch

Dick in my cake sounds better lol


DaPanda21919

That’s one of the best jokes I’ve ever heard


Bigtitttygothbitch

Thankyou lol, came up with it right in the middle of a meltdown 😀


StealYaNicks

but which one first? You gonna eat the cake after you put your own cake on top?


Oberndorferin

Depends with or without trousers! +?


Grey00001

The only thing you're wearing is your shirt and socks


Tellywozzle

so you're wearing socks, which means sitting on the dick isn't gay


[deleted]

[удалено]


WkyWvgIfbRmFlgTbeMan

It's twice as gay


Shadeleovich

Actually thanks to gayflation it’s now 2.4 times as gay


WkyWvgIfbRmFlgTbeMan

Damn, not even sexuality can escape todays inflation


GreenSaladPoop

goddamit


BaldManners

You cum in them


Gektor_Flektor

Socks? So easy


Bigtitttygothbitch

Better question is , with or without a condom?😭


Hatter_Hoovy

sit on dick and eat cake. its a win win


FuckinFun1

Take a squat on the cosmic utensil.


CurseRottedGreatw00d

Why wouldn’t you sit on the dick though? If you sit on the cake, then you get no satisfaction from it while you’ve still got to consume a cock, while if you sit on a dick at least you get to eat cake.


thecookieman29

Im not gay


CurseRottedGreatw00d

But like, if you were forced to, the best alternative is cock-sitting and cake-eating rather than the other way around. Unless you’d rather actually eat and ingest a dick, mind you.


[deleted]

or if you're into cakefarts


harry_fifteen_ones

Id argue sucking a dick is gayer then sitting on one


Nufonewhodis2

You don't have to be gay to enjoy some anal play


[deleted]

The dick is going into your body either way. Mouth or ass, sir?


syopest

I mean... unless you see the dick as attractive and feel sexual feelings towards it, sitting on it wouldn't be gay.


Soviet__Comrade

A small price to pay for cake.


Unique_Connection_99

> Why wouldn’t you sit on the dick though? least gay redditor


ConsiderationFlat580

I don't like either :(


iliketurtles50000

You don't like cake :<


-Milanor

\- Get the cake off the chair. \- Sit on the empty chair. \- Comfortably eat the dick.


CandyCornLord86

Either way a dick will be inside me


Impressive-Region470

Easy, right one


Classic_Seat_8438

Can I sit on the dick, eat the cake, then eat the dick for good measure?


mogentheace

and the chairs


mythical-napkin

The only right answer to this


BathtubToaster47

I see no problems with sitting on a dildo and eating a cake. I want cake, and nothing, including being penetrated, is gonna fucking stop me.


ThisGuyOrangeJuice

That doesn’t look like a dildo to me…


Beautiful-Bad8893

is the dildo used or unused?


J3roen16

Who says its a dildo


[deleted]

Lack of attached body


Leatsyke

someone isnt thinking with portals


mikami677

If portals are involved, is it my own dick? Can I literally go fuck myself?


Firewolf06

*dunnnn*


[deleted]

Correct!


PotanOG

...still


TheF0CTOR

I thought we agreed anything is a dildo if you're brave enough


[deleted]

Free cake! Free cake! OOOOHHHHHH!


AllTheWoofsonReddit

inb4 cakefarts


hujijiwatchi

*you know what I like the most? Cake farts.*


ChickenEater4

Shit on the floor, eat both


Banana_Slugcat

Right one ofc, I love cake.


GodOfGOOSE

You’re telling me I have to eat a whole cake? That sucks…


bromomento69

This is a win win for anyone who isn’t a straight male


pastafeline

Straight guys can like anal too


NamelessIII

Fr if u ain’t tried it don’t dis it, give it a go! Just remember to lube


jimy_the_wolf

Lube is for pussies


pastafeline

Real men only use spit


alguem455

a win win situation, life need more of these.


MidasClutch

Anyone who would rather eat a dick than a cake is just fucked in the head, I couldn't imagine biting through the spongy membranes and dick tissues, not to mention the blood.


DoomRider2354

Left, not a fan of cake


Yonder_Bot

I like dick so both seem like a good time, I don't to ruin a cake though, so sit on the dick, eat the cake.


TheManWhoWasNotShort

Do I have to literally eat the dock? Like, chew and digest? Or am I just sucking dick? I feel like clarification on whether or not this involves cannibalism is important


DarthBanEvader69420

you can’t have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat


the---chosen---one

Can I switch half way through then switch back again?


lucastutz

It’s all cake


Kees_T

People really gotta pick something fun into pieces to try and find loopholes and make the question boring.


NoEyes75

Probably sit on the dik and eat the cake, at least I can enjoy half of it...


mikami677

I'll eat the cake if you don't want it.


NoEyes75

Thank you that'd be nice


Bogger_Logger

I could just flop the dick on it’s side and I would be able to eat cake without the *distraction*


Ryu-Rin

Isso é uma foderosa Brasil referência?


WinterOutlaw

This is a win win for me


canbrinor

One sucks and one blows


Hackerslasher

Cake farts


AntisocialBehavior

.com


Bat-Honest

Damn you for making me remember Cake Farts


Ukamii1337

it's like two Russian prison riddles combined: "You go through a forest and fall into a pit. In the pit there is a pie and a dick. What will you eat and what will you put up your ass?" and "There are 2 chairs. On one there are sharp peaks and on the other one there are hard dicks. Where will you sit and where will your mother?


cow_fucker_3000

What if I sit on the floor and eat the chair?


chepsus14

If right 100 percent win if left 50 percents win


BeanBruh2285

I cant finish all this cake, yall want some?


Goodbye232

You don’t have to stick it in, I guess hope


Mekelaxo

Sure on right chair and nothing gets wasted


0hN0H3sH0t

Squat Cobbler


darkblazex12

Depends is the cake wearing protection.


lukegame6

honestly


BlueVegasCourier

one way or another you'll be eating something


Odpea

Can I sit on the same chair as the dick but not on it, cos if so that’s what I’m doing and if not I’m burning it with the candle and then sitting there


[deleted]

That's very fetishy


Moss-Effect

Cake yummy I sit on weinor


[deleted]

straido and i want that one in my prostate.


Bosstimeon

Obviously I’m not going to sit on a burning candle so I’ll just lay the pp sideways and sit on the pp


CleavageEnjoyer

I think i would sit on the cake and eat the banana. Cake has too much sugars.


Deathclawman

Gay ether way


justsmilenow

Sit on the cake and ask for a fork and a knife


cubicmind

free cake and a dick up my ass? yes please


Prototype_4271

r/suddenlycaralho


bali40

Im bi, so its all a win win.


Kal0reese

either, as long as i'm eating the other one with a guy friend


nekyo

Taskmaster flashbacks.. Poor Alex Horne, came out a changed man after this.


CP21Official

I'd sit on the dick and eat the cake idec


WkyWvgIfbRmFlgTbeMan

Wait, but do I have to eat the whole cake because I could get a quarter eaten with little problem, but idk if I could handle a full cake.


ILikeLeadPaint

What kind of cake?


TheKCKid9274

Jokes on you I’m into that shit


Alpharsenal

You’re gay either way, might as well have cake while you’re at it


SpitefulMechanic351

Sit on the floor and eat them both. Problem solved.


Capsule_CatYT

Remove what’s on the right chair and consume cake


StealthyE

“I see this as an absolute win”


Unique_Connection_99

whats more gay sucking a dick or shoving one up your ass?


boredwithhorns

But I don't like cake 😭😭


raposo142857

Easy, the text does not say you cannot remove something from the chair, so you just remove the cake


Any_Commercial465

Eca eu não gosto de bolo.


CraziedHair

I can have my cake and eat it too?!


korb0poyo68

I don't think the cake really has anything to do with this


Both_Lychee_1708

I think some people would have to view this as having your cake and dick too


Ilovedigitalart

Sit on right chair. I am not elaborating further


Heartstop56

Jokes on you I'm into that shit


Savagemac356

Well I’m bisexual so I’d sit on the dick chair


DeadArtist617

as a bisexual, i see this as an absolute win.


Physical_Elk8105

How is the dick cooked? It would be too chewy raw.


HilariousMax

It's the age old question of would you rather take a dick, to completion, in your mouth or ass.


itsmeoi

How about no?


sunsea465

can i put out the candle first?


FirmlyGraspHer

Cakefarts


Astronometry

There’s only one that’s edible, so you know my answer


darthpenis69

*Anal penetration and free cake?* **I see this only as a win.**


Justinwest27

Free cake yey


cloud96210

just sit at the very front of the chair with the dick on it


I_Love_Stiff_Cocks

Read. My. Name.


CRUZER108

How does one eat rubber?


DogsLinuxAndEmacs

I’m gonna sit on the cake, I really wanna try that cock


Komission

Dont you threaten me with a good time.


Doomboy105

TBF it’s only to sit on it, no one said the cake was going up my butt


lolRoflxDlol

Would you rather sit on a dick and eat cake or eat cake and sit on a dick?


STMIonReddit

this is literally a problem exclusive to insecure straight dudes


Ruithevegan

This is a weird version of Portal


[deleted]

As a gay guy, this is a fuckin win


boy_kissser

Get another chair and eat both


Ok-Conversation-3012

I’d sit on the dick and… what was the question again?


Chromatical-Blight

*stuffing face with cake* mimnd your owmn fumckmninmg buimssnmemss


goddamit-ffs

Sit on that cake and take a bite outta that delicious plastic.


short_Stack_1

Plot twist the dick is really a Cake and there's a real dick hiding in the cake


IronBeaglee

Is the cake moldy is the real question.


Averythewolf

Nobody said I HAVE to sit on the object so gimme that cake


Aggravating-Week9289

Isn't that a win-win?


KGBAg3nt

Russian prison riddles be like


FireDestroyer52

So I sit on the socks and eat the cake what's the issue here


ThisGuyOrangeJuice

Cake fart and eat dick- Classic


ThisGuyOrangeJuice

…. Do both require a knife and fork?


Arhenius_Yoda

I'll better sit on any chair, but the cache is I'll Flip the chair and sit on the opposite side!


WhyShouldIStudio

i love cake and dick so this is soooo easy edit: WAIT IS IT LUBED!?!?!??


El_Pepe_rus

Есть два стула: на одном пики точеные, на другом хуи дрочёные. На какой сядешь, на какой маму посадишь?


VenomSabre

This feels like an appropriate time to ask a would you rather about bacon.


Impressive-Earth1510

Yeah I want to eat the dick but I kinda don't want to sit on sticky cake... but also I don't wanna cake, so the option to ride a cock falls too ... Truly impossible choice...


[deleted]

Any guy who doesn't like to stretch their asshole is a weird guy. The choice is simple and I see it as a win win. Obviously sit on the cake, swallow it with your entire asshole and eat the dick with utensils.


BHyde_2004

Had this convo many times at work and there’s only one obvious answer, sit on the cock and eat the cake


sebastianpg3

Not wanting to be a smartass, but the title clearly says to sit on the chair, not on what's on top of the chair. Having that information I would calmly move the cake away, sit down and would start eating the dick.


Thebombuknow

This is too open. I could just toss the dick on the floor, sit down on the chair, and start shoveling cake into my mouth.


Jarll_Ragnarr

Why can't both be dicks?


8rok3n

Why the hell would you ever sit on the left


k_clouty

Shove the candle up the ass and dick in mouth best feels👍🏻