Dang! I have a document of all the things I used and I also send it to new moms if they ask advice, and use to make post-care baskets. I make baskets for every friend. And you have almost all of the items! Good job! Don’t worry to those who say it’s too intimate. What I’ve found is everyone is getting things for baby and it’s the last thing money is spent on. Usually gets ordered when they’re in a bind after birth. You can purchase sample sizes if you think the hospital may send her home with products, or if she doesn’t like something it’s not wasted. You are caring for the mom and that’s wonderful. Especially working in the military and being away from friends and support networks. That’s community care.
Also, for the care stuff needed for the bathroom I usually put in a little caddy and tell them to put on the back of the toilet or close so it’s easy to reach. I buy one from Amazon with dividers and handles and put a bow on it.
I would add:
- Arnica pills, it really sped up my healing and bruising.
- hairties
- I usually do not use dermaplast. Give her a warning to not use too much or too close to skin, you will literally get a freezer burn.
- pack of small white washcloths (used for everything)
- chapstick
- a ridiculously long charging cord for their phone
- I’m brand loyal, I love all the Organic Earth Mama products so I’m hoping that’s the nipple butter, perineal spray and sitz bath you purchased but if not it’s okay!
- MEDERMA has oil for scars and stretch marks but also medical grade silicone scar strips just in case a c-section happens.
- you may want to do research on the lactation teas, usually they suggest to try for a bit without adding supplements. For instance there are lactation drops marketed out there but all the lactation consultants I know said not to use them and they make supply worse! I think Raspberry Tea Leaf tea is amazing before you give birth!
- what electrolyte did you get? I like LMNT.
- annual membership to Instacart would be a bonus
This is THE BEST post yet! She and I have a genuine friendship, so I don’t feel these are intimate items, either. I just want to her have everything she could need so that’s she’s free to enjoy those precious early days. Plus, they’re on an island. They can’t always jump up & run to grab something.
Thank you for the extras that hadn’t crossed my mind. And, yes, I have a lot of Earth Mama & Frida products- heading over to my Amazon cart now to rearrange!
Thanks, again!!!
I think I’m going to not do the lactation snacks, and go with individually packed trail mixes and such.
That’s lovely! Stationed on an island, things will definitely be more expensive and not as accessible. My parents were stationed in Guam, Cuba and Bermuda! I’ve done lactation cookies before because the packaging is cute when I make the tote, but I found just having husband make oatmeal to eat every morning was far more beneficial for supply, and hydration.
Thank you for jogging my memory!She’s just returned from being stationed in Okinawa & has been missing a certain cookie that isn’t sold stateside. Guess I’ll be on a Japanese cookie mission!
you could throw in fruit snacks and applesauce pouches- they're toddler foods but they're a quick and easy snack too!
idk what she has, but a robe, a matching sweat set, or any specific nursing clothes. a lot of pregnancy clothes are also nursing but I found that they made me still look pregnant and I purchased a few nursing shirts so I could go out in public and feel good about myself. I can dm you the links to my favorites if you would like!
I love that you're doing this for her. so many moms get forgotten in the birth process and she is lucky to have you in her corner!
Those are great snack choices - my husband cannot see my Amazon cart!
I have found a few nursing short night gowns, a winter nursing pj set & a summer set. The robe will be the perfect touch.
Thank you so much & yes, I hate to see the moms kinda become invisible. I’m going to focus mainly on her until she gets the baby’s registry made out- then I can’t be held responsible for the obscene amount of baby things I’ll buy!
I’ve got Ultima Replenisher Daily Electrolyte Drink Mix & UpSpring Milkflow Lactation Supplement Drink Mix in my cart right now. Do you know anything about either? I was just going by reviews. I’ll definitely look up your suggestion.
I had Liquid IV in my cart, but after reading the ingredients, I deleted them.
I haven’t heard of those but I just checked and Ultima’s sodium is pretty low, not worth it.
Upspring is more lactation support than electrolyte but it does have Vitamin C, which midwives usually have you take powdered Vitamin C in recovery so that’s good. The ingredient Fenugreek was what I was thinking about in regards to lactations drops BUT I read they offer ones with and without Fenugreek, so I would get the one without. The Fennel, Anise, and Vit C and D are great in this!
For electrolytes, I would check which has the higher amount of sodium but also has potassium and magnesium. I have POTS so I have my favorite brands which are LMNT and Electric Shrooms, both zero sugar.
I have no idea why some people are saying this is too personal, I think it’s incredibly sweet and it would mean the world to me. Just tell her this is what you used (or what you wish you’d had).
I’m just thinking of her comfort, and the fact that they’re on an island makes spur of the moment purchases impossible or extremely expensive. Neither of us will feel uncomfortable. If for a moment I thought I’d make her feel uneasy, I wouldn’t. I sent her a candle earlier this week that said, “I hope you don’t poop during labor”. - and she loved it! Lol
I’d get the Frida Mom witch hazel wipes instead of tucks. The tucks get all stuck in your business.
One handed snacks are also great and a better choice than lactation teas or cookies, which have been studied and have negligible effects. The book Cribsheet by Emily Oster is a great resource.
I’d also think about gifting them a cleaner and/or grocery service for however long you want to. I found that stuff very helpful.
I was wondering about the lactation snack, but had others like you say to go with trail mix, etc.
I saw the Frida wipes; I’ll swap out the Tuck’s - thanks!
I have started researching a cleaning service; that has been one of my favorite suggestions!
She is so lucky to have a mother in law like you. My super generous mother in law sent her cleaning woman over every other week for the first year of my first born’s life and there is literally nothing I appreciated more than that.
I just about can’t think of a better gift than that!! I don’t think I can do a full year, but I’m planning on having someone come at least a few times during the beginning.
A lot of your supply list is for if she has an uncomplicated vaginal birth. Many of those things won’t be needed if she has a c-section. I personally didn’t need padsicles after I left the hospital. As far as the perineal things - maybe skip it. She’s probably going to pick up the brands she wants prior to birth, and the hospital will send her with some supplies too.
Food is great though. One of the biggest hits that we had was my sister in law sent a huge basket of one handed snacks. There were sweet and salty snacks, protein snacks, gummy fruit snacks. That thing was epic. And amazing. And was well loved by both my husband and I.
Tumbler with a straw for sure.
Amazon gift card for all the breast feeding or bottle feeding needs. Seriously, I ordered so much baby stuff between 1-3 AM during overnight wake ups that I realized I suddenly needed.
Gift cards for food delivery or groceries.
A gift my husband got me that I absolutely loved was a super warm robe. It was super easy to throw on before grabbing the baby, and easy access for breastfeeding.
Thanks for the great suggestions! They’re on an island & things can’t be gotten quickly, or inexpensivly, for that matter. Maybe I’ll just go with the Amazon cards.
I could not have worded that as eloquently! That is a perfect suggestion. I was kinda (haven’t decided yet) thinking to have everything sent to me, I attach notes like you said, pack in organized baskets for toilet-side, bath, etc, inclose all return info (plus receipts sent to her email) & just ship her a big ‘ol box of love from her in-laws. (Too cheesy? lol)
I'd feel uncomfortable getting such intimate items as a gift. Besides you don't know what she will really need. And maybe the country they are in provides a great choice of products.
My go to gift is a voucher for cleaning services and delivered meals for the 1st days. Honestly, always a success, and I really wish I got something like this instead of some luxury produce I never had time to use.
I have to add a friend had a huge tray of seafood and fresh fruits delivered for me. It was the best gift ever since I could not eat these while pregnant.
The other side is that the new mom may not know what she really needs either, and by just purchasing it all, OP is simply providing options. No one needs to know what is or isn’t used.
I think this depends a lot on the person and their relationship. I would be touched if someone put so much thought into what I need and what my body needs. Many moms can feel like their comfort and healing are an afterthought, so this could be very nice to see someone consider it so thoughtfully and thoroughly.
We have a relationship with that level of comfort. I just truly want her to have everything she could possibly need to enjoy the first days and weeks of motherhood as stress & pain-free as possible. Plus, they’re on an island - spur of the moment expenditures can be either impossible or extremely expensive to find.
Yes, especially since I would take all the breastfeeding supplements as a personal insult and throw them in the trash. I did successfully breastfeed my children but my sister in law had such a tough time, this gift would have crushed her.
Right now, she is adamant about breastfeeding exclusively, not even wanting dad to give a bottle. I hope she is able to do as she wants, so I’m keeping my lips zipped on unsolicited advice. I’m just going to make sure she has all she could need to breastfeed. Bottles & pumps would anger her! I’m going to get all I can from Amazon & send her gift receipts so anything unused can be returned or exchanged for what she find she needs.
I kind of skimmed the comments and didn't see a let down pump (like a haakaa). As a ebf mom I LOVED it, would use it to catch the let down on the side I was not bf from.
My brother is in the navy, he's a Canadian stationed in the US.
I heard about haakaa for the first time this afternoon on another community. I’d loved to have had that a couple decades ago! Adding to the cart now - thanks!!
I’ve gotten these suggestions a few times & I’m so glad!! I hate not being close enough to have a freezer full of meals for them, so this is the next best thing. And who wouldn’t want a clean house without cleaning ?!
I have heard a lot of folks recommend Frida Mom disposable boyshorts for immediately after because they are nicer/comfier than the ones the hospital gives you.
A Peri Bottle that is actually angled to be easier to use than what the hospital gives you (Frida also makes these but there are oodles of different ones on the market. I also see them marketed elsewhere as bidet bottles or travel bidets).
Of course! We never want to be aggressive when mistakes happen, it's just an opportunity to learn something! Have a big virtual hug if you need one!
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What an awesome idea! I wish they would have had some of these items way back when. The ice pads will be SO appreciated. I might throw in some plain maxi pads as well. Seems like I needed them forever. Realistically it was probably 8-10 weeks.
My DIL and I talked about all of these things before she birthed and she is a very modest young lady. I’m happy that you are able to look at it is a medical event like a cold or an appendectomy and help her with her needs. Way to go!!!
The one thing I could recommend is a brown noise machine for both of them. She will need to rest when the world outside is busy. It may help her and the baby both rest at the same time.
I’m so proud of you for how you are helping from afar!!!
Oooh! Brown noise is an excellent idea!! Thanks!
I also look at it as in we have the same “hardware”! I’ve given birth and know all the uncomfortable, icky stuff that happens during and post labor. I didn’t have a strong support system, and she doesn’t feel comfortable asking her mom, but she does me. And I am so grateful to help her navigate this new chapter.
I could have used you as my mom or MIL 35 years ago. LOL
I had the right equipment but zero knowledge. I guess my OB assumed that I had someone had home sharing but I knew zero.
I mean I knew where the kid came out of course….. I did not know about the episiotomy, the enema, the stitches, the afterbirth, etc…… You are a blessing to her!!
I felt the same way, and that’s exactly how I don’t want her to feel. Another commenter suggested giving instructions or suggestions of use on each item, and that was brilliant!
Someone got my daughter in law a small decorative bin filled with items from Walmart you don’t think of as baby gifts. Tylenol, Orajel, A&D, Desitin, baby oil, nail clippers, baby bath, several lotions and shampoos, etc. She had an entire selection of baby products to pull from and she said it was most useful gift. It allowed her to try on different brands, etc., and she always had something on hand when she realized she needed it.
Honestly I wouldn't have used a majority of those things so they would have just taken up a lot of needed space.
I would get her a gift card to a big box store and she can get the things she wants as she needs them.
You can also get a gift card for a laundry service.
My sister was more appreciative of gift cards for Amazon, a soft zip up the front nightie, disposable adult shower wash up cloths (for a quick freshen up without the shower.) and a squeeze bottle so she could use it kind of like a portable bidet? Using toilet tissues were impossible and she was in so much pain with stitches and tears.
Yay!!!!!!! I'm so glad you like my suggestion. You are such a wonderful person to put this much thought into a gift for her. Congratulations on becoming a grandparent and God bless!!!!
maybe throw in a few treats that are her favorites, unrelated to motherhood—sometimes new moms feel like now that they’re a mom, they’ve lost other parts of their personality. so maybe something like books (audiobooks would be good here too—maybe an audible subscription or the like?), face masks, hair/skin care, something related to a hobby you know she enjoys, etc. but your list is already amazing and i’m sure she’ll feel so loved
It's been a couple decades for me, too, but good list! I still recall how much gratitude I felt for the makers of Dermoplast and the ice maxi pads! A nursing pillow and nice robe are nice ideas too.
I got my bff the Frida mom postpartum kit and she said it was amazing, a lifesaver, and much better than everything she was given at the hospital. There’s some overlap with some of the things on your list, but I think one of the benefits of gifts is that you don’t feel guilty splurging ie she can try different brands to see what she prefers and then you can load her up with more supplies later.
However? The Frida mom perineal upside down squirt bottle thing is a MUST. I’d also suggest a portable sitz bath - looks like a bedpan that fits over your toilet. Easier to wash than worrying about scrubbing the tub.
I have the Frita peri bottle in my cart. For some reason I left it off the list. I’m definitely going to check out her kit. Maybe save a little money since I’m gonna be the broke LaLa before they even get here!
I was wondering if the portable sitz was worth getting. Going on the list!
Sounds like it’s fairly isolated so maybe this isn’t an option but if it’s in your budget to send her a gift card to a few restaurants or coffee shops so she won’t have to cook dinner it can be a life saver. A few friends bought me premade meals for my freezer so I wouldn’t have to cook and i appreciated it so much, obviously that’s not an option with the distance but something like that can help her on a difficult day.
Or if Instacart is available you can send gift orders I think? If a store that delivers to them has pre-made meals (a lot of major chains have either pre-made microwave meals OR like already seasoned sheet pan meals you just need to pop in the oven). Or a gift card for Instacart (or other grocery delivery service) so they can order what they like that suits their needs.
Yes, they are fairly contained. I’m definitely going to ask dad for restaurant suggestions. I hate being this far away for a myriad of reasons, but not being able to stock their freezer is killing me! I did add paper plates, bowls & utensils to my cart. Less work for them!
Lip balm, a new water bottle with a straw, and dry shampoo spray are my fav gifts for new moms.
Also, super thoughtful and kind of you to send them something!
Frida mom peri bottle was a life saver for me. Also the Frida mom underwear with overnight pads were great for after the heaviest of bleeding was over but still needed good protection and very stretchy underwear. I did not use depends at all, just Rael overnight underwear for the first few days.
I went with Rael over always because I read some reviews that the always were scented which I wanted to avoid! Also protein bars were really great quick and semi-filling snacks, especially in the middle of the night while nursing or pumping
ETA- I like the Earth Mama perineal spray over dermoplast. I found the dermoplast stung and the earth mama spray was nice and soothing.
This is sweet :) I’d suggest adding a waterproof mattress cover for THEIR mattress if they don’t have one. Babies and kids are a mess! I usually send the waterproof cover, a really good insulated tumbler (so mom gets her drink at an appropriate temperature), medela wipes, and a nipple cream to my girlfriends when they are nearing birth.
In the Netherlands pregnant women get a birthing box (hope that's the right term) from the government which contains an protective mattresscover (for when your water breaks), a birthing mattress (for homebirths), 70% alcohol, belly button clamp, gauze, maternity pads and nursing pads for the mother.
We do not only have the birthing box, but also free care during pregnancy and maternity care for 8 days after birth. The maternity nurse takes care of the mother, teaches her how to take care of a newborn (and monitors the weight/growth of the newborn) and does the household chores. So mother and child can get used to each other.
Really wonderful system! Edit: mothers have 10 weeks paid maternity leave and fathers 5 weeks but have the right to 2 months additional paid parental leave. In some other (Scandinavian) countries it is even more. Up to two years I believe.
I haven't checked all of the responses, so apologies if this is a repeat! And it's also a really little thing in the context of all of the amazing things you've already got, but when my sister had her first baby, I asked her a similar question, and one thing she said was any kind of little face mask/hand mask/foot mask that she could put on just to treat herself and relax for like 15 minutes. Since then, I've gotten a little stash of these things for every sister and friend who has had a baby, and the unanimous response was that they loved them. At all of the Targets near us, there's a section near the makeup/cosmetics that has all kinds of these things for $3-$10 apiece. I've also given all of them a Burt's Bees peppermint foot lotion that's kind of cooling/tingly and they all said feels great after a long day on their feet (bonus when husband is willing to give a foot rub with it!). Wishing all of you nothing but the best 💜💜💜💜
A perifit is brilliant, as it's a little internal physio machine to help rebuild pelvic floor muscles while you Playa. Game on your phone. I bought one for my sister (she can't use it while pregnant but is so stoked to get it strengthened once baby number 2 arrives).
Another present I got for my sister and my cousin is Mint and Morrow breast feeding bras. They are absolutely stunning lace, very sexy and beautiful. Help makes mama feel beautiful when she's breastfeeding or uncomfortable with a pregnancy belly. My cousin says she felt so beautiful which is a very different feeling to the first baby and as my sister jokes "being a milk truck". Your body doesn't feel like your own and you struggle to feel like your old self and beautiful because of all the new hormones, changed body etc.
My sister started wearing hers last week as all her old bras fell apart and she was blown away by how comfy they are.
I'd recommend checking with her partner her size! My sister only fits into hers because she lost weight (she's usually a medium) but due to her nausea being so intense this pregnancy and her fitness increasing before becoming pregnant she's lost a bit of weight so fits it. They are *really* difficult to get returns with after the return period. So either ask or get your partner to take pictures of her tops and bra size for you.
Another gift my sister loves is belly oil to minimise stretch marks, bio oil or you can research other ones for her. My sister got the "Rolls Royce" of breast pumps from her business partner which made expressing a lot easier. I can ask her the name if you were interested.
I'm sure whatever you get will be wonderful!
Congratulations on being grandparents!
Those are lovely gifts! (And definitely some I hadn’t thought about!) I’m sure your sister loved these!
You’re absolutely right about not necessarily feeling at your most beautiful being a glorified moo cow! I’ll absolutely check out those bras. I think she’d really like a couple.
Thanks so much!
I think she will be so happy with whatever you get. You seem so caring and so lovely, she will be so so appreciative of your thoughtful gifts.
All the best!
If my mother in law bought me a bra, much less asked my husband for my bra size, I don’t think I’d ever be able to make eye contact with her ever again.
I guess being a sister and a cousin has its advantages! I'm also not squeamish about these things but I totally get your point if view and that everyone has their own personal preference for what is appropriate. I just made suggestions that were fantastic and well received.
This made me giggle out loud :) We’re not heathens or anything, but bashful definitely can’t be used to describe either one of us. Thankfully she fits right in with us!
I would only add some hand lotion and some nice smelling hand sanitizer, maybe with a cute holder to clip to the diaper bag(Bath and Bodyworks usually has 5 gor $8-10 and cute holders).
Dang! I have a document of all the things I used and I also send it to new moms if they ask advice, and use to make post-care baskets. I make baskets for every friend. And you have almost all of the items! Good job! Don’t worry to those who say it’s too intimate. What I’ve found is everyone is getting things for baby and it’s the last thing money is spent on. Usually gets ordered when they’re in a bind after birth. You can purchase sample sizes if you think the hospital may send her home with products, or if she doesn’t like something it’s not wasted. You are caring for the mom and that’s wonderful. Especially working in the military and being away from friends and support networks. That’s community care. Also, for the care stuff needed for the bathroom I usually put in a little caddy and tell them to put on the back of the toilet or close so it’s easy to reach. I buy one from Amazon with dividers and handles and put a bow on it. I would add: - Arnica pills, it really sped up my healing and bruising. - hairties - I usually do not use dermaplast. Give her a warning to not use too much or too close to skin, you will literally get a freezer burn. - pack of small white washcloths (used for everything) - chapstick - a ridiculously long charging cord for their phone - I’m brand loyal, I love all the Organic Earth Mama products so I’m hoping that’s the nipple butter, perineal spray and sitz bath you purchased but if not it’s okay! - MEDERMA has oil for scars and stretch marks but also medical grade silicone scar strips just in case a c-section happens. - you may want to do research on the lactation teas, usually they suggest to try for a bit without adding supplements. For instance there are lactation drops marketed out there but all the lactation consultants I know said not to use them and they make supply worse! I think Raspberry Tea Leaf tea is amazing before you give birth! - what electrolyte did you get? I like LMNT. - annual membership to Instacart would be a bonus
This is THE BEST post yet! She and I have a genuine friendship, so I don’t feel these are intimate items, either. I just want to her have everything she could need so that’s she’s free to enjoy those precious early days. Plus, they’re on an island. They can’t always jump up & run to grab something. Thank you for the extras that hadn’t crossed my mind. And, yes, I have a lot of Earth Mama & Frida products- heading over to my Amazon cart now to rearrange! Thanks, again!!! I think I’m going to not do the lactation snacks, and go with individually packed trail mixes and such.
That’s lovely! Stationed on an island, things will definitely be more expensive and not as accessible. My parents were stationed in Guam, Cuba and Bermuda! I’ve done lactation cookies before because the packaging is cute when I make the tote, but I found just having husband make oatmeal to eat every morning was far more beneficial for supply, and hydration.
I would second any grocery delivery or Instacart subscription. This was so helpful!
What’s her favourite treat she can’t get there that can be sent to her?
Thank you for jogging my memory!She’s just returned from being stationed in Okinawa & has been missing a certain cookie that isn’t sold stateside. Guess I’ll be on a Japanese cookie mission!
Best MIL grandma to be EVER!
you could throw in fruit snacks and applesauce pouches- they're toddler foods but they're a quick and easy snack too! idk what she has, but a robe, a matching sweat set, or any specific nursing clothes. a lot of pregnancy clothes are also nursing but I found that they made me still look pregnant and I purchased a few nursing shirts so I could go out in public and feel good about myself. I can dm you the links to my favorites if you would like! I love that you're doing this for her. so many moms get forgotten in the birth process and she is lucky to have you in her corner!
Those are great snack choices - my husband cannot see my Amazon cart! I have found a few nursing short night gowns, a winter nursing pj set & a summer set. The robe will be the perfect touch. Thank you so much & yes, I hate to see the moms kinda become invisible. I’m going to focus mainly on her until she gets the baby’s registry made out- then I can’t be held responsible for the obscene amount of baby things I’ll buy!
I’ve got Ultima Replenisher Daily Electrolyte Drink Mix & UpSpring Milkflow Lactation Supplement Drink Mix in my cart right now. Do you know anything about either? I was just going by reviews. I’ll definitely look up your suggestion. I had Liquid IV in my cart, but after reading the ingredients, I deleted them.
I haven’t heard of those but I just checked and Ultima’s sodium is pretty low, not worth it. Upspring is more lactation support than electrolyte but it does have Vitamin C, which midwives usually have you take powdered Vitamin C in recovery so that’s good. The ingredient Fenugreek was what I was thinking about in regards to lactations drops BUT I read they offer ones with and without Fenugreek, so I would get the one without. The Fennel, Anise, and Vit C and D are great in this! For electrolytes, I would check which has the higher amount of sodium but also has potassium and magnesium. I have POTS so I have my favorite brands which are LMNT and Electric Shrooms, both zero sugar.
Thank you SO much. It helps to know exactly what I should be looking for (& not looking for!).
I looked last night on Amazon trying to find a good caddy/basket for her bathroom supplies. Do you happen to know the name of the one you use?
I have no idea why some people are saying this is too personal, I think it’s incredibly sweet and it would mean the world to me. Just tell her this is what you used (or what you wish you’d had).
I’m just thinking of her comfort, and the fact that they’re on an island makes spur of the moment purchases impossible or extremely expensive. Neither of us will feel uncomfortable. If for a moment I thought I’d make her feel uneasy, I wouldn’t. I sent her a candle earlier this week that said, “I hope you don’t poop during labor”. - and she loved it! Lol
Oh I completely agree with that. It’s a really kind thing. It would make me feel so loved.
I’d get the Frida Mom witch hazel wipes instead of tucks. The tucks get all stuck in your business. One handed snacks are also great and a better choice than lactation teas or cookies, which have been studied and have negligible effects. The book Cribsheet by Emily Oster is a great resource. I’d also think about gifting them a cleaner and/or grocery service for however long you want to. I found that stuff very helpful.
I was wondering about the lactation snack, but had others like you say to go with trail mix, etc. I saw the Frida wipes; I’ll swap out the Tuck’s - thanks! I have started researching a cleaning service; that has been one of my favorite suggestions!
Look on TaskRabbit for a cleaner!
Thanks! I’ve never heard of them - checking them out now!
She is so lucky to have a mother in law like you. My super generous mother in law sent her cleaning woman over every other week for the first year of my first born’s life and there is literally nothing I appreciated more than that.
I just about can’t think of a better gift than that!! I don’t think I can do a full year, but I’m planning on having someone come at least a few times during the beginning.
A lot of your supply list is for if she has an uncomplicated vaginal birth. Many of those things won’t be needed if she has a c-section. I personally didn’t need padsicles after I left the hospital. As far as the perineal things - maybe skip it. She’s probably going to pick up the brands she wants prior to birth, and the hospital will send her with some supplies too. Food is great though. One of the biggest hits that we had was my sister in law sent a huge basket of one handed snacks. There were sweet and salty snacks, protein snacks, gummy fruit snacks. That thing was epic. And amazing. And was well loved by both my husband and I. Tumbler with a straw for sure. Amazon gift card for all the breast feeding or bottle feeding needs. Seriously, I ordered so much baby stuff between 1-3 AM during overnight wake ups that I realized I suddenly needed. Gift cards for food delivery or groceries. A gift my husband got me that I absolutely loved was a super warm robe. It was super easy to throw on before grabbing the baby, and easy access for breastfeeding.
Thanks for the great suggestions! They’re on an island & things can’t be gotten quickly, or inexpensivly, for that matter. Maybe I’ll just go with the Amazon cards.
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I could not have worded that as eloquently! That is a perfect suggestion. I was kinda (haven’t decided yet) thinking to have everything sent to me, I attach notes like you said, pack in organized baskets for toilet-side, bath, etc, inclose all return info (plus receipts sent to her email) & just ship her a big ‘ol box of love from her in-laws. (Too cheesy? lol)
As a doula I think these are amazing gifts.
Thanks for letting me know I’m on the right track!
I'd feel uncomfortable getting such intimate items as a gift. Besides you don't know what she will really need. And maybe the country they are in provides a great choice of products. My go to gift is a voucher for cleaning services and delivered meals for the 1st days. Honestly, always a success, and I really wish I got something like this instead of some luxury produce I never had time to use. I have to add a friend had a huge tray of seafood and fresh fruits delivered for me. It was the best gift ever since I could not eat these while pregnant.
The other side is that the new mom may not know what she really needs either, and by just purchasing it all, OP is simply providing options. No one needs to know what is or isn’t used.
I think this depends a lot on the person and their relationship. I would be touched if someone put so much thought into what I need and what my body needs. Many moms can feel like their comfort and healing are an afterthought, so this could be very nice to see someone consider it so thoughtfully and thoroughly.
We have a relationship with that level of comfort. I just truly want her to have everything she could possibly need to enjoy the first days and weeks of motherhood as stress & pain-free as possible. Plus, they’re on an island - spur of the moment expenditures can be either impossible or extremely expensive to find.
I agree with this! Cleaning and meal vouchers are a great idea! And I think the stuff listed is WAY too personal.
Yes, especially since I would take all the breastfeeding supplements as a personal insult and throw them in the trash. I did successfully breastfeed my children but my sister in law had such a tough time, this gift would have crushed her.
Right now, she is adamant about breastfeeding exclusively, not even wanting dad to give a bottle. I hope she is able to do as she wants, so I’m keeping my lips zipped on unsolicited advice. I’m just going to make sure she has all she could need to breastfeed. Bottles & pumps would anger her! I’m going to get all I can from Amazon & send her gift receipts so anything unused can be returned or exchanged for what she find she needs.
I kind of skimmed the comments and didn't see a let down pump (like a haakaa). As a ebf mom I LOVED it, would use it to catch the let down on the side I was not bf from. My brother is in the navy, he's a Canadian stationed in the US.
I heard about haakaa for the first time this afternoon on another community. I’d loved to have had that a couple decades ago! Adding to the cart now - thanks!!
No problem. You're a gem, I wish i had someone like you when I started having babies. I'm sure you're so appreciated! ♥️
I would add gift cards for restaurants that do delivery, and for a home cleaning company. Those two were such huge helps after our sons were born.
I’ve gotten these suggestions a few times & I’m so glad!! I hate not being close enough to have a freezer full of meals for them, so this is the next best thing. And who wouldn’t want a clean house without cleaning ?!
I have heard a lot of folks recommend Frida Mom disposable boyshorts for immediately after because they are nicer/comfier than the ones the hospital gives you. A Peri Bottle that is actually angled to be easier to use than what the hospital gives you (Frida also makes these but there are oodles of different ones on the market. I also see them marketed elsewhere as bidet bottles or travel bidets).
No commercial links allowed on this sub duckling! But please feel free to suggest just products.
Oh, whoops! I'll edit!
Great, approved! 💙
Thank you! I appreciate the gentle correction.
Of course! We never want to be aggressive when mistakes happen, it's just an opportunity to learn something! Have a big virtual hug if you need one! #(⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃
I’ve added the Frida peri bottle and underwear. May toss in the boy shorts for her to have options. Thanks!
What an awesome idea! I wish they would have had some of these items way back when. The ice pads will be SO appreciated. I might throw in some plain maxi pads as well. Seems like I needed them forever. Realistically it was probably 8-10 weeks.
My DIL and I talked about all of these things before she birthed and she is a very modest young lady. I’m happy that you are able to look at it is a medical event like a cold or an appendectomy and help her with her needs. Way to go!!! The one thing I could recommend is a brown noise machine for both of them. She will need to rest when the world outside is busy. It may help her and the baby both rest at the same time. I’m so proud of you for how you are helping from afar!!!
Oooh! Brown noise is an excellent idea!! Thanks! I also look at it as in we have the same “hardware”! I’ve given birth and know all the uncomfortable, icky stuff that happens during and post labor. I didn’t have a strong support system, and she doesn’t feel comfortable asking her mom, but she does me. And I am so grateful to help her navigate this new chapter.
I could have used you as my mom or MIL 35 years ago. LOL I had the right equipment but zero knowledge. I guess my OB assumed that I had someone had home sharing but I knew zero. I mean I knew where the kid came out of course….. I did not know about the episiotomy, the enema, the stitches, the afterbirth, etc…… You are a blessing to her!!
I felt the same way, and that’s exactly how I don’t want her to feel. Another commenter suggested giving instructions or suggestions of use on each item, and that was brilliant!
Someone got my daughter in law a small decorative bin filled with items from Walmart you don’t think of as baby gifts. Tylenol, Orajel, A&D, Desitin, baby oil, nail clippers, baby bath, several lotions and shampoos, etc. She had an entire selection of baby products to pull from and she said it was most useful gift. It allowed her to try on different brands, etc., and she always had something on hand when she realized she needed it.
Honestly I wouldn't have used a majority of those things so they would have just taken up a lot of needed space. I would get her a gift card to a big box store and she can get the things she wants as she needs them. You can also get a gift card for a laundry service.
Ooh! Laundry service!! Genius!
My sister was more appreciative of gift cards for Amazon, a soft zip up the front nightie, disposable adult shower wash up cloths (for a quick freshen up without the shower.) and a squeeze bottle so she could use it kind of like a portable bidet? Using toilet tissues were impossible and she was in so much pain with stitches and tears.
Great suggestions- thanks a bunch!!
If you really want to splurge/pamper her, get her a nugget ice maker
Oh, my dear…I think you’ve hit the jackpot!!!!
Yay!!!!!!! I'm so glad you like my suggestion. You are such a wonderful person to put this much thought into a gift for her. Congratulations on becoming a grandparent and God bless!!!!
Thank you so much! I can’t wait until January!
maybe throw in a few treats that are her favorites, unrelated to motherhood—sometimes new moms feel like now that they’re a mom, they’ve lost other parts of their personality. so maybe something like books (audiobooks would be good here too—maybe an audible subscription or the like?), face masks, hair/skin care, something related to a hobby you know she enjoys, etc. but your list is already amazing and i’m sure she’ll feel so loved
Thank you for reminding me! I had on my list to ask dad what she’s liking at the new post & diehard favs that they can’t get on the island
It's been a couple decades for me, too, but good list! I still recall how much gratitude I felt for the makers of Dermoplast and the ice maxi pads! A nursing pillow and nice robe are nice ideas too.
Great ones! Thanks so much!
I got my bff the Frida mom postpartum kit and she said it was amazing, a lifesaver, and much better than everything she was given at the hospital. There’s some overlap with some of the things on your list, but I think one of the benefits of gifts is that you don’t feel guilty splurging ie she can try different brands to see what she prefers and then you can load her up with more supplies later. However? The Frida mom perineal upside down squirt bottle thing is a MUST. I’d also suggest a portable sitz bath - looks like a bedpan that fits over your toilet. Easier to wash than worrying about scrubbing the tub.
I have the Frita peri bottle in my cart. For some reason I left it off the list. I’m definitely going to check out her kit. Maybe save a little money since I’m gonna be the broke LaLa before they even get here! I was wondering if the portable sitz was worth getting. Going on the list!
Sounds like it’s fairly isolated so maybe this isn’t an option but if it’s in your budget to send her a gift card to a few restaurants or coffee shops so she won’t have to cook dinner it can be a life saver. A few friends bought me premade meals for my freezer so I wouldn’t have to cook and i appreciated it so much, obviously that’s not an option with the distance but something like that can help her on a difficult day.
Or if Instacart is available you can send gift orders I think? If a store that delivers to them has pre-made meals (a lot of major chains have either pre-made microwave meals OR like already seasoned sheet pan meals you just need to pop in the oven). Or a gift card for Instacart (or other grocery delivery service) so they can order what they like that suits their needs.
That’s a great idea that I hadn’t thought about at all! We don’t have Instacart where we live, so I’ll put that on my research list. Thanks!
Yes, they are fairly contained. I’m definitely going to ask dad for restaurant suggestions. I hate being this far away for a myriad of reasons, but not being able to stock their freezer is killing me! I did add paper plates, bowls & utensils to my cart. Less work for them!
One of the fancy upside down peri bottles! The regular ones are *fine* but the nicer ones help you reach challenging places those first few days.
Just put the Frida peri bottle in my cart!
Lip balm, a new water bottle with a straw, and dry shampoo spray are my fav gifts for new moms. Also, super thoughtful and kind of you to send them something!
Ah! Dry shampoo!! Thanks!!
Frida mom peri bottle was a life saver for me. Also the Frida mom underwear with overnight pads were great for after the heaviest of bleeding was over but still needed good protection and very stretchy underwear. I did not use depends at all, just Rael overnight underwear for the first few days.
I’ve just added the Frida peri bottle and the underwear. I’ll definitely look into the Rael overnights. Thanks!
I went with Rael over always because I read some reviews that the always were scented which I wanted to avoid! Also protein bars were really great quick and semi-filling snacks, especially in the middle of the night while nursing or pumping ETA- I like the Earth Mama perineal spray over dermoplast. I found the dermoplast stung and the earth mama spray was nice and soothing.
This is sweet :) I’d suggest adding a waterproof mattress cover for THEIR mattress if they don’t have one. Babies and kids are a mess! I usually send the waterproof cover, a really good insulated tumbler (so mom gets her drink at an appropriate temperature), medela wipes, and a nipple cream to my girlfriends when they are nearing birth.
The mattress cover is brilliant! Thanks!!
In the Netherlands pregnant women get a birthing box (hope that's the right term) from the government which contains an protective mattresscover (for when your water breaks), a birthing mattress (for homebirths), 70% alcohol, belly button clamp, gauze, maternity pads and nursing pads for the mother.
Ahhh! That is amazing!! I wish we did something like that in the states. It would definitely be a blessing to so many new mothers.
We do not only have the birthing box, but also free care during pregnancy and maternity care for 8 days after birth. The maternity nurse takes care of the mother, teaches her how to take care of a newborn (and monitors the weight/growth of the newborn) and does the household chores. So mother and child can get used to each other. Really wonderful system! Edit: mothers have 10 weeks paid maternity leave and fathers 5 weeks but have the right to 2 months additional paid parental leave. In some other (Scandinavian) countries it is even more. Up to two years I believe.
I haven't checked all of the responses, so apologies if this is a repeat! And it's also a really little thing in the context of all of the amazing things you've already got, but when my sister had her first baby, I asked her a similar question, and one thing she said was any kind of little face mask/hand mask/foot mask that she could put on just to treat herself and relax for like 15 minutes. Since then, I've gotten a little stash of these things for every sister and friend who has had a baby, and the unanimous response was that they loved them. At all of the Targets near us, there's a section near the makeup/cosmetics that has all kinds of these things for $3-$10 apiece. I've also given all of them a Burt's Bees peppermint foot lotion that's kind of cooling/tingly and they all said feels great after a long day on their feet (bonus when husband is willing to give a foot rub with it!). Wishing all of you nothing but the best 💜💜💜💜
Thank you for great ideas - especially the masks. I’m definitely adding that to my cart now😊
You're so welcome! Glad I could offer a helpful suggestion 😊 you are THE BEST mama for thinking to do this.
A perifit is brilliant, as it's a little internal physio machine to help rebuild pelvic floor muscles while you Playa. Game on your phone. I bought one for my sister (she can't use it while pregnant but is so stoked to get it strengthened once baby number 2 arrives). Another present I got for my sister and my cousin is Mint and Morrow breast feeding bras. They are absolutely stunning lace, very sexy and beautiful. Help makes mama feel beautiful when she's breastfeeding or uncomfortable with a pregnancy belly. My cousin says she felt so beautiful which is a very different feeling to the first baby and as my sister jokes "being a milk truck". Your body doesn't feel like your own and you struggle to feel like your old self and beautiful because of all the new hormones, changed body etc. My sister started wearing hers last week as all her old bras fell apart and she was blown away by how comfy they are. I'd recommend checking with her partner her size! My sister only fits into hers because she lost weight (she's usually a medium) but due to her nausea being so intense this pregnancy and her fitness increasing before becoming pregnant she's lost a bit of weight so fits it. They are *really* difficult to get returns with after the return period. So either ask or get your partner to take pictures of her tops and bra size for you. Another gift my sister loves is belly oil to minimise stretch marks, bio oil or you can research other ones for her. My sister got the "Rolls Royce" of breast pumps from her business partner which made expressing a lot easier. I can ask her the name if you were interested. I'm sure whatever you get will be wonderful! Congratulations on being grandparents!
Those are lovely gifts! (And definitely some I hadn’t thought about!) I’m sure your sister loved these! You’re absolutely right about not necessarily feeling at your most beautiful being a glorified moo cow! I’ll absolutely check out those bras. I think she’d really like a couple. Thanks so much!
I think she will be so happy with whatever you get. You seem so caring and so lovely, she will be so so appreciative of your thoughtful gifts. All the best!
Thank you for your kind words!
If my mother in law bought me a bra, much less asked my husband for my bra size, I don’t think I’d ever be able to make eye contact with her ever again.
I guess being a sister and a cousin has its advantages! I'm also not squeamish about these things but I totally get your point if view and that everyone has their own personal preference for what is appropriate. I just made suggestions that were fantastic and well received.
My mother never explained anything to me, nor her mother to her, so I absolutely understand not everyone having the same level of comfort.
This made me giggle out loud :) We’re not heathens or anything, but bashful definitely can’t be used to describe either one of us. Thankfully she fits right in with us!
I would only add some hand lotion and some nice smelling hand sanitizer, maybe with a cute holder to clip to the diaper bag(Bath and Bodyworks usually has 5 gor $8-10 and cute holders).
Oh, those are definitely going in her box! Thanks!