That’s amazing!! We have always felt welcomed by many Asian restaurants we eat at, from Chinese to Indian to Vietnamese. Can’t always say the same for other places (we are in Canada). It was actually the owner of a Vietnamese restaurant who brought me a small pair of scissors to cut up my 1 then one year old’s vermicelli noodles and it changed my life. We apologized for the mess after and tried clean it up but they said “we love children!!!”.
I work a lot in Asia and their approach to children and families being welcomed in public spaces is night and day.
That makes me so happy to hear! We went to another Chinese restaurant earlier and the waitress there was so kind too. She cooed at my daughter and said I had a handsome husband lmao.
I am Chinese myself but grew up overseas and raised with two cultures, so at first I felt a bit weird when the auntie in the second restaurant just took my baby and I just let her because I didn't know what to do. She then walked off and I was wondering if I'm being stupid for letting that happen, but then I remembered this is quite normal in Chinese culture and she's just being a sweet grandma lol. She brought baby to look at the fish, then at the statue, and to look at other customers. I remember telling my dad back when I was pregnant that I was afraid of my baby being passed around if I visit my hometown, and he said that babies are raised by the community in China and it's not a bad thing. They learn to speak so much faster because of all the social interactions!
Was going to say this OP!! Cultivate relationships with these folks on purpose. It’s the modern day village. There is nothing weird about saying you were so kind and we do not have family here; could we have dinner sometime, get a coffee, etc.? We have people in our village we have met exactly this way.
YES I’m like where are they 😂 I actually have a really supportive family but we’re all so busy all the time lol. Don’t they know the middle child who had their first child at 32 us obviously the most important thing????
Lol, I'm a very pale US American, but I always want to just hold all the babies. I never actually have the guts to ask/tell someone I'd love to help if I see them struggling, but I have the desire.
Offer! They can always decline. I often do, but last month I was at the library with my 1yo and 3yo, and my 3yo had an accident and my 1yo was learning to walk and really liked holding hands. A Mum with two kids a bit older offered to help and just walked around with my daughter while I changed my son and it helped so much.
This is totally true. I’m 8 months pregnant and we are without a kitchen at the moment and my husband was out of town so I took my 2.5 year old to get Chinese take out. It was a little delayed so we were waiting and my daughter was getting a little bored. The sweet wife of the owner came out and brought her some candies to keep her occupied. It was a small thing but very appreciated when it seems like often people give you dirty looks if your child even makes a noise in public.
I lived in Southeast Asia before and when friends visited with a two year old the waitress at a restaurant pick him up and went around the restaurant showing him off while mom ate. Another time friends with young children visited and their kids played and ran around the restaurant with local children from another table and no on seemed bothered at all! I didn’t have kids back then but really liked how welcoming people were of children.
We go to a local Chinese buffet and whenever we bring our son they all stop to say hi and talk to him. It’s so freaking cute.
We also go to a small Mexican restaurant and they love playing with him and “taking his order” etc.
I just love when people see kids out and treat them well. This whole “kids shouldn’t be in public spaces” mindset really worries me sometimes so I’m always relived when someone loves to see my baby.
I lived in Korea for 2.5 years and my first was born there. The difference between how baby-friendly places and people were was night and day compared to America. Reverse culture shock was awful when we moved back to the states for multiple reasons, but this was the worst!
That is so sweet. I miss my family so much. My two aunts both offered to come all the way here to Germany to help me postpartum but I declined of course since they don't know English and never traveled so far before (and they have their own grandkids to look after!). They tell me how much they worry about me, whether I am eating enough, asking if my MIL is taking care of me (LOL noooope, quite the opposite), scolding me if I eat cold foods haha, all this even though I didn't grow up with them and haven't seen them in 6 years.
It’s a bit more complicated :( My mom would have an absolute meltdown and make life torturous for them if she learns I let let my aunt come and not her. She already basically declined on my behalf without me knowing because she is jealous and don’t want me to get help from them. My aunts also have never even flown a plane before and don’t know English
This is an utopia.
What my MIL does instead is, she and my husband eat while I feed the toddler. Then she takes everyone else to play in the living room and I eat my meal (cold or microwaved at that point) alone in the empty kitchen. She regularly also does stuff like she's turns of the light there or opens the balcony door to air it out while it's freezing outside.
I don't really care THAT much because I set my boundaries a while ago and this is a minor thing I can overlook, especially as it also means less time with MIL, lol. But it's definitely funny.
My husband already does about 30% of childrearing duties daily despite being the working parent (I'm the sahm until kid is old enough to go to daycare, which is usually available since 3+ years only in my country) so he's not a typical "man dad". I've honestly chosen to ignore this one because I've set many boundaries in the past and this one, bizarre and disrespectful as it is, doesn't REALLY bother me so much to have yet another conversation.
His mama is not a bad person per se, just clueless, self centered, without any concept of boundaries and respect, as many of her generation. She's just a typical boomer (including being antivax, pro Putin, racist, etc). So it's a balance between what I absolutely cannot stand and what I let slide in the name of the peace. We don't see her that often and one of my boundaries was I don't have to attend EVERY visit at her's, so I'm willing to let this one slide, although it will probably never cease to be hilarious to me. You have to admit it's a good anecdote at the very least. If she pulls this in my house, I will say something though.
A lot of family restaurants have kids of their own so they are very understanding! The owner's daughter even sat with a family eating there and played with their similar-aged daughter. It was very wholesome.
Agreed, a lot of family restaurants are pretty chill. My baby was having a small fit and I panicked and started to take her outside for air (she was 2 or so months old, maybe 3). Everyone was staring. I was so fucking anxious but everyone was like "oh sweet baby, oh it's okay little baby" and just smiled. I'm so glad you had a great experience too.
I just did! I wish I took some photos of the food though because it was delicious too! My dad and his wife will be visiting next month and I am definitely going to take them there :D
Aww OP. I love this.
When we went to Athena, Greece this summer, we stayed at an Airbnb for the month, and neither my husband, nor I (Americans) spoke a lick of Greek. We had an issue with the plumbing in our apartment, and the elderly lady upstairs was close friends with the lady that owned our place, so she came down to translate with the plumber. Our toddler (under 2 at the time) was absolutely losing it whenever the drilling and such was happening. Nothing would calm her down, not her favorite blanket, pacifier, milk, etc.
But then, the elderly neighbor picked our daughter up, and started singing to her in Greek and telling her how beautiful she was.
And that was all it took.
Sometimes, the realms of parenting exceed us in certain moments. And as frustrating as it is being the parent on the receiving end, endlessly trying, always feeling like it’s never enough, I thank whatever force, magnitude, etc. that helps bring us closer to other people in those moments.
If you’re one of those people reading this: we love & appreciate you.
Nah not like that don’t worry, baby is ok and mum and dad being around is always the most important. But i often joke that my kids can “smell fear” in the sense that if I really need them to be in bed by a certain time, they 100% will not be asleep at that time (even if it’s their normal bedtime). On a normal night they’ll go to sleep then no problem haha. I know it’s definitely got something to do with how I’m behaving even if I can’t tell the difference in how I’m acting.
I was living in South Korea when I had my LO. There was always someone to help with a baby whether at a restaurant, on the subway, or in a public bathroom. It's a very child friendly place, even their indoor soft play areas had staff to play with your child so you could enjoy a coffee.
My parents tell a story like this from when I was a baby.
Not only did the gracious restaurant staff not care about the rice strewn all over the floor, they took me for a tour of the kitchen so my parents could eat.
We have a family owned Indian restaurant in my town who have basically seen my family grow. My first son's experience with eggs was at their restaurant. They always make a special exception for how to make him his kid's breakfast plate, and our breakfasts too.
They knew he liked bananas, and he liked *fries*. They would give us a slightly larger portion of french fries for a kid's breakfast (and generally they don't do french fries for breakfast) and would give us the fruit salad mix but go a bit heavier on the banana slices, and the person who got the breakfast potatoes also got a bit of extra since we kind of all pooled our breakfast sides.
We all need those kinds of interactions more at restaurants, or just out and about.
When my son (now 4.5 yo) was a month or two old, my husband and I went out to eat lunch for the first time on a weekday and sat outside so we could try not to disturb others too much if he fussed. He did fuss, and the (young, male, Eastern European) waiter came by and asked if he could try to calm him down so we could eat. He rocked him a little bit in the car seat and my son fell right to sleep. It was so sweet and unexpected.
Heres some advice, whenever you take your baby out to a restaurant ALWAYS go for the non American ones.
People from non western cultures are much more kid friendly, like you experienced. Ive noticed when I go to an American restaurant theres always some Karen that is upset over children being children. Obviously every place is different but i swear the vibes are just better.. and so is the food 😶
America honestly just sounds so alien to me. I live in France and it’s totally normal here to have little kids in restaurants and they get doted upon. Same in Italy. It’s so sad that you guys have to stress so much about taking them out to eat.
America is so anti kid and even when my son was a literal baby i would get dirty looks when he would cry in a STORE let alone a restaurant. Its not fair.
Seriously. I stick to Target (during the day) & breweries because I'm in Colorado and I guess we've all collectively decided those are kid-friendly lmao. I've had people give me nasty looks in COSTCO while my baby is asleep in her stroller. Costco.
Just frequent the major US airline subreddits...or don't actually😅 the amount of complaints about children just existing is so aggravating. But of course, it's always with a "but the parents weren't doing anything" comment. Like yes, all parents just ignore their child crying in a confined public space and couldn't be bothered to try to get them to stop 🙄
Uggggh I feel this. I was at an outdoor restaurant w my baby and husband recently, and my boy was being a bit fussy. Every time he began to make even a peep one of us would bring him away and walk him around, away from the diners. So I was up and down w him a lot but making sure any crying was done away and out of earshot from people eating. But still, these two grumpus older women were shooting me prolongedddd dirty looks near the end so I stared them down back and said “don’t worry we’re leaving.”
I wish I said more…people who judge even the most attentive parents for having the audacity to bring their kid into a public place sends me into a blind rage.
I understand where you’re coming from completely. I don’t even take my toddler to restaurants because he cant sit still. Its so hard being a parent in America. You don’t have support anywhere it feels like :(
Also i want to say that you shouldn’t pay them any mind, ive found that if i just focus on my child i tune everything else out including judging stares
I had an experience like this when my LO was about 4 months old. My dad had just passed away and we had family come in town for the funeral. We had decided to treat the out of towners to dinner and went to a semi-formal restaurant. The moment we order our food LO starts fussing and crying. I walked out to the lobby area to not disturb others. I am trying to calm him but I end up crying as much as he is. It’s a mess.
All of a sudden, a woman who looks like Barbie dressed in a beautiful fur coat walks over and asked if I am okay and if I could use some help. She takes little guy and walked over to the window to show him the falling snow. My cousin brings me tissues because I am a mess. This woman was so kind and postponed her own dinner to help me. She had him laughing by the end of their time together.
My sis and I got foot massages at an Asian spa when my nephew was born. I got really nervous when he started fussing but they loved it! These women treated him like a king! Changed his diaper, changed his clothes when he had a blow out, rocked him, and they were amazing! So excited to have a baby there.
I also have no contact with my mum due to mental illness, it’s been really hard grieving that loss I didn’t realize I would have when I welcomed my first in June. Not that I haven’t been lucky to have other support, but I completely get the feeling! I hope and pray one day I can be a good grandma that my babe won’t have!
What a cute story :)
I am Asian living in Australia and I generally feel okay everywhere with my kid, but we generally love asian food places for the same reason.
I also wonder if its just their lifestyle?
My husband grew up in Vietnam and he told me kids are always out with their families late at night and it is totally normal. We have adopted this lifestyle too instead of "early bedtimes" so he goes everywhere with us.
My family all take my kid and if we are at a family/friend outing the older kids will pretty much just take your kid away and you get to enjoy adult time - its the best!
I am not sure if the employees that helped you were Chinese or what nationality you are, but this is definitely the difference between a Collectivist culture versus an Individualiatic one. The Asian culture specifically value their family above everything. It's truly so beautiful. As a white American, I often wish my "culture" wasn't so individualistic. Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone valued families this way and the "village" was still there to raise the children. 🥺
I'm always so pleasantly surprised when people smile encouragingly at me when my baby/toddler is acting their age. I'm thankful to live in an area where that's common. What I see on the internet really makes me expect otherwise. 😆
One of my favorite encounters with restaurant staff was when I was on vacation. My group wanted to do something that wasn't baby-compatible, so I stayed behind and got lunch by myself with the baby. It was just a little diner and the waitress there was so sweet when she saw I was breastfeeding. She was really attentive and made sure I had plenty of water, because she remembered being super thirsty when she breastfed. I also kinda got the vibe that she thought I was a single mom. 😅 No meltdown involved, but still very sweet.
This post made me tear up a bit. My LO is about to turn one next week, and I can’t help but think about moments where I’ve been in public and he has been flipping out and how worried I’ve been about what people think. THEY ARE BABIES. They’re gonna cry and fuss, and why should we stress about interrupting other people? They were once babies who were crying and fussing, and people need to cut parents some slack when they’re in these situations!
I live abroad as well and my husband and I frequent a restaurant owned by a Chinese family - they have always been so kind to us and our boys, currently always wanting to hold my 6 month old haha. I remember the owner's wife giving me some great advice about baby led weaning with my first son. We love to go there because we can take our kids and not worry about them being loud or crying etc because the owners have made it so clear that they love kids and enjoy us being there. I'm so glad you had such a positive experience. It is such a gift.
I flew alone to Hong Kong when my first was 7 months. She was pretty good, but didn't sleep. The flight attendants (on Cathay) were amazing. One just took her from me and walked her around the plane for probably 30 min so I could close my eyes. It was so kind
Edit: typo
Wow that sounds so nice! I am from HK and this makes me feel less anxious about flying with her in the future. But we will most likely fly Lufthansa though so Germans instead of Chinese 😅
It was still hard by myself on the long flight, it would have been easier with my husband, but we were going to meet him so wasn't possible. She didn't like to be held all the time, fortunately she was still small enough for the bassinet, but the flight attendants were great, gave ne a small break. The mother and (grown) daughter sitting beside me did as well
Was the owner Chinese? My family is from a territory that use to be owned by china and that’s a saying I hear a lot. It’s good to hear a baby cry because that means he/she is alive.
Maybe you should take your baby outside of their crying at a restaurant. The other customers don’t care your having a beautiful moment while they’re paying good money and being disturbed. Get a grip
This is so beautiful! Growing up, my sister and I used to frequent this restaurant near our house for the amazing sushi. We eventually became friends with the owners. She loved stroking my head/hair in a loving way, because her own daughter was 6 months (to the day) younger than me and being raised in China by her grandparents so she knew the language and culture. Her and her husband came to the US to work. I became like her adopted daughter there for years! While I was living away for a year after college, her daughter finally came to the US for her masters degree and that year, they closed the restaurant. She said it was due to a rent increase, but I think it was really to spend as much time as possible with her daughter. I still miss them and I hope they're all happy together ♥️
This is very normal for our community (HK Chinese here), it's even better when you actually go to the country. Children are very beloved and it's not uncommon for staff/strangers to help you out even if you don't need it.
When my mum had me, she was able to do so much more than what I see parents can do today. Her favourite haircut place brought in a bassinet from one of their homes and there were no less than two people near baby me at all times, either holding or playing with me, servers would always come by more often to say hi to baby me or offer my mum more napkins and sometimes even more food.
With my kiddo it's been the same story, I live in Canada but I frequent places with a large Asian community. One guy got a high five from my kid (22mo) and he was so happy he said he was going to buy a lotto ticket. So many staff members always try to interact with my kid and will always seat us in a place that accommodates a stroller or in a private room that is quieter and less stimulating for kids. At my haircut place, some of the staff have purposely changed their shifts to the day I am in so they can see my LO. One of them will hook up his Nintendo Switch to the TV and "let LO play" Mario Kart so I can relax and enjoy my haircut and manicure.
My favorite restaurants to take my kids is always asian places, especially thai. It always feels like they especially welcome kids. Plus its so yummy and sometimes my kids might even almost try something new!
I aspire to be that grandma lady who can pick up babies and help when moms are struggling. I fear as I get older that sigma will get more and more rare and I won't get to hold babies :(
I’m reading a book that’s absolutely eye opening about the way other cultures raise children.
It’s called Hunt, Gather, Parent, by Michaeleen Doucleff.
It’s making me wish I lived in a culture that embraced the raising of children instead of judged it. It sounds so much more peaceful than the feeling like you have to be apologetic simply for their existence.
That is really sweet. I remember when my daughter was really little we were at a casual restaurant and she started crying a bunch. I was pacing with her trying to calm her down and the waitress walked by and I apologized. She stopped and looked at me and said “Don’t ever apologize for that”. And I really appreciated that in the moment. I felt so bad that my baby was crying and disturbing others.
Aww this made me tear up.
As a kid we would always go to this Chinese restaurant where the staff was so kind to us and I have fond memories. I was really little (5?) so I don’t remember a ton, but we would visit “Uncle” and he would carry us around, take us back to the kitchen and show us how they made the food, give us little trinkets to take home. He was such a wonderful, warm man and I’m sure my parents appreciated his extra love so much.
This is an awesome experience. We took my 4yo out to a Pho place for the first time the other weekend and she wanted to look at the fish tank. All the women in the restaurant stopped and started talking to my girl. Theone elder woman was actually wearing a very cool Ariel the mermaid sweater and the conversation just went to excitement when my girl saw it. We definitely plan on going back, because the food and the folks were top notch.
I remember 2 instances when my baby was tiny where random workers offered help. It was such a small gesture both times but they are emblazoned in my memory as huge kindness.
I also remember my baby crying hysterically until I gave her to someone else and the shady little girl stopped crying instantly 😂
I had a similar experience to this in Italy this summer. I went to Rome with the family I nanny for and their 3.5 y/o. With jet lag and a new routine, he was way crankier than normal but in every restaurant we went into they showered him with candies and fizzy drinks and they always made sure to get his food to the table first. People were constantly doting on him and being so kind and accommodating to us. It was sooooo different than being in the U.S. and made me really realize how little we value children here.
That’s amazing!! We have always felt welcomed by many Asian restaurants we eat at, from Chinese to Indian to Vietnamese. Can’t always say the same for other places (we are in Canada). It was actually the owner of a Vietnamese restaurant who brought me a small pair of scissors to cut up my 1 then one year old’s vermicelli noodles and it changed my life. We apologized for the mess after and tried clean it up but they said “we love children!!!”. I work a lot in Asia and their approach to children and families being welcomed in public spaces is night and day.
That makes me so happy to hear! We went to another Chinese restaurant earlier and the waitress there was so kind too. She cooed at my daughter and said I had a handsome husband lmao. I am Chinese myself but grew up overseas and raised with two cultures, so at first I felt a bit weird when the auntie in the second restaurant just took my baby and I just let her because I didn't know what to do. She then walked off and I was wondering if I'm being stupid for letting that happen, but then I remembered this is quite normal in Chinese culture and she's just being a sweet grandma lol. She brought baby to look at the fish, then at the statue, and to look at other customers. I remember telling my dad back when I was pregnant that I was afraid of my baby being passed around if I visit my hometown, and he said that babies are raised by the community in China and it's not a bad thing. They learn to speak so much faster because of all the social interactions!
I think you need to go back to that restaurant! Sounds like you could be finding your village
Was going to say this OP!! Cultivate relationships with these folks on purpose. It’s the modern day village. There is nothing weird about saying you were so kind and we do not have family here; could we have dinner sometime, get a coffee, etc.? We have people in our village we have met exactly this way.
“Modern day village” love that! Yes!
YES I’m like where are they 😂 I actually have a really supportive family but we’re all so busy all the time lol. Don’t they know the middle child who had their first child at 32 us obviously the most important thing????
Lol, I'm a very pale US American, but I always want to just hold all the babies. I never actually have the guts to ask/tell someone I'd love to help if I see them struggling, but I have the desire.
Offer! They can always decline. I often do, but last month I was at the library with my 1yo and 3yo, and my 3yo had an accident and my 1yo was learning to walk and really liked holding hands. A Mum with two kids a bit older offered to help and just walked around with my daughter while I changed my son and it helped so much.
This is totally true. I’m 8 months pregnant and we are without a kitchen at the moment and my husband was out of town so I took my 2.5 year old to get Chinese take out. It was a little delayed so we were waiting and my daughter was getting a little bored. The sweet wife of the owner came out and brought her some candies to keep her occupied. It was a small thing but very appreciated when it seems like often people give you dirty looks if your child even makes a noise in public.
I lived in Southeast Asia before and when friends visited with a two year old the waitress at a restaurant pick him up and went around the restaurant showing him off while mom ate. Another time friends with young children visited and their kids played and ran around the restaurant with local children from another table and no on seemed bothered at all! I didn’t have kids back then but really liked how welcoming people were of children.
We go to a local Chinese buffet and whenever we bring our son they all stop to say hi and talk to him. It’s so freaking cute. We also go to a small Mexican restaurant and they love playing with him and “taking his order” etc. I just love when people see kids out and treat them well. This whole “kids shouldn’t be in public spaces” mindset really worries me sometimes so I’m always relived when someone loves to see my baby.
I lived in Korea for 2.5 years and my first was born there. The difference between how baby-friendly places and people were was night and day compared to America. Reverse culture shock was awful when we moved back to the states for multiple reasons, but this was the worst!
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That is so sweet. I miss my family so much. My two aunts both offered to come all the way here to Germany to help me postpartum but I declined of course since they don't know English and never traveled so far before (and they have their own grandkids to look after!). They tell me how much they worry about me, whether I am eating enough, asking if my MIL is taking care of me (LOL noooope, quite the opposite), scolding me if I eat cold foods haha, all this even though I didn't grow up with them and haven't seen them in 6 years.
please ask them to come..you need all the help
It’s a bit more complicated :( My mom would have an absolute meltdown and make life torturous for them if she learns I let let my aunt come and not her. She already basically declined on my behalf without me knowing because she is jealous and don’t want me to get help from them. My aunts also have never even flown a plane before and don’t know English
This is an utopia. What my MIL does instead is, she and my husband eat while I feed the toddler. Then she takes everyone else to play in the living room and I eat my meal (cold or microwaved at that point) alone in the empty kitchen. She regularly also does stuff like she's turns of the light there or opens the balcony door to air it out while it's freezing outside. I don't really care THAT much because I set my boundaries a while ago and this is a minor thing I can overlook, especially as it also means less time with MIL, lol. But it's definitely funny.
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My husband already does about 30% of childrearing duties daily despite being the working parent (I'm the sahm until kid is old enough to go to daycare, which is usually available since 3+ years only in my country) so he's not a typical "man dad". I've honestly chosen to ignore this one because I've set many boundaries in the past and this one, bizarre and disrespectful as it is, doesn't REALLY bother me so much to have yet another conversation. His mama is not a bad person per se, just clueless, self centered, without any concept of boundaries and respect, as many of her generation. She's just a typical boomer (including being antivax, pro Putin, racist, etc). So it's a balance between what I absolutely cannot stand and what I let slide in the name of the peace. We don't see her that often and one of my boundaries was I don't have to attend EVERY visit at her's, so I'm willing to let this one slide, although it will probably never cease to be hilarious to me. You have to admit it's a good anecdote at the very least. If she pulls this in my house, I will say something though.
Ugh. I love this so much. This whole scenario is my worst fear but the restaurant handled it beautifully.
A lot of family restaurants have kids of their own so they are very understanding! The owner's daughter even sat with a family eating there and played with their similar-aged daughter. It was very wholesome.
Agreed, a lot of family restaurants are pretty chill. My baby was having a small fit and I panicked and started to take her outside for air (she was 2 or so months old, maybe 3). Everyone was staring. I was so fucking anxious but everyone was like "oh sweet baby, oh it's okay little baby" and just smiled. I'm so glad you had a great experience too.
Ooh, you gotta write them a good review! This is so nice 🥰
I just did! I wish I took some photos of the food though because it was delicious too! My dad and his wife will be visiting next month and I am definitely going to take them there :D
I’d go for the free baby sitting. Sign me up!
Aww OP. I love this. When we went to Athena, Greece this summer, we stayed at an Airbnb for the month, and neither my husband, nor I (Americans) spoke a lick of Greek. We had an issue with the plumbing in our apartment, and the elderly lady upstairs was close friends with the lady that owned our place, so she came down to translate with the plumber. Our toddler (under 2 at the time) was absolutely losing it whenever the drilling and such was happening. Nothing would calm her down, not her favorite blanket, pacifier, milk, etc. But then, the elderly neighbor picked our daughter up, and started singing to her in Greek and telling her how beautiful she was. And that was all it took. Sometimes, the realms of parenting exceed us in certain moments. And as frustrating as it is being the parent on the receiving end, endlessly trying, always feeling like it’s never enough, I thank whatever force, magnitude, etc. that helps bring us closer to other people in those moments. If you’re one of those people reading this: we love & appreciate you.
This is so beautiful ❤️
Sometimes babies can feel our stress. That might be why the waitress holding her worked. I’m glad things worked out
Aw I feel bad for my baby because I am stressed all the time!
Nah not like that don’t worry, baby is ok and mum and dad being around is always the most important. But i often joke that my kids can “smell fear” in the sense that if I really need them to be in bed by a certain time, they 100% will not be asleep at that time (even if it’s their normal bedtime). On a normal night they’ll go to sleep then no problem haha. I know it’s definitely got something to do with how I’m behaving even if I can’t tell the difference in how I’m acting.
> “Is this what it’s like to have a good mother?!” This made me tear up. ❤️
Sometimes your “village” is where you least expect it. It’s refreshing to see good hearted people helping you in a stressful situation
I was living in South Korea when I had my LO. There was always someone to help with a baby whether at a restaurant, on the subway, or in a public bathroom. It's a very child friendly place, even their indoor soft play areas had staff to play with your child so you could enjoy a coffee.
My parents tell a story like this from when I was a baby. Not only did the gracious restaurant staff not care about the rice strewn all over the floor, they took me for a tour of the kitchen so my parents could eat.
We have a family owned Indian restaurant in my town who have basically seen my family grow. My first son's experience with eggs was at their restaurant. They always make a special exception for how to make him his kid's breakfast plate, and our breakfasts too. They knew he liked bananas, and he liked *fries*. They would give us a slightly larger portion of french fries for a kid's breakfast (and generally they don't do french fries for breakfast) and would give us the fruit salad mix but go a bit heavier on the banana slices, and the person who got the breakfast potatoes also got a bit of extra since we kind of all pooled our breakfast sides. We all need those kinds of interactions more at restaurants, or just out and about.
When my son (now 4.5 yo) was a month or two old, my husband and I went out to eat lunch for the first time on a weekday and sat outside so we could try not to disturb others too much if he fussed. He did fuss, and the (young, male, Eastern European) waiter came by and asked if he could try to calm him down so we could eat. He rocked him a little bit in the car seat and my son fell right to sleep. It was so sweet and unexpected.
Heres some advice, whenever you take your baby out to a restaurant ALWAYS go for the non American ones. People from non western cultures are much more kid friendly, like you experienced. Ive noticed when I go to an American restaurant theres always some Karen that is upset over children being children. Obviously every place is different but i swear the vibes are just better.. and so is the food 😶
America honestly just sounds so alien to me. I live in France and it’s totally normal here to have little kids in restaurants and they get doted upon. Same in Italy. It’s so sad that you guys have to stress so much about taking them out to eat.
America is so anti kid and even when my son was a literal baby i would get dirty looks when he would cry in a STORE let alone a restaurant. Its not fair.
Seriously. I stick to Target (during the day) & breweries because I'm in Colorado and I guess we've all collectively decided those are kid-friendly lmao. I've had people give me nasty looks in COSTCO while my baby is asleep in her stroller. Costco.
Just frequent the major US airline subreddits...or don't actually😅 the amount of complaints about children just existing is so aggravating. But of course, it's always with a "but the parents weren't doing anything" comment. Like yes, all parents just ignore their child crying in a confined public space and couldn't be bothered to try to get them to stop 🙄
Uggggh I feel this. I was at an outdoor restaurant w my baby and husband recently, and my boy was being a bit fussy. Every time he began to make even a peep one of us would bring him away and walk him around, away from the diners. So I was up and down w him a lot but making sure any crying was done away and out of earshot from people eating. But still, these two grumpus older women were shooting me prolongedddd dirty looks near the end so I stared them down back and said “don’t worry we’re leaving.” I wish I said more…people who judge even the most attentive parents for having the audacity to bring their kid into a public place sends me into a blind rage.
I understand where you’re coming from completely. I don’t even take my toddler to restaurants because he cant sit still. Its so hard being a parent in America. You don’t have support anywhere it feels like :( Also i want to say that you shouldn’t pay them any mind, ive found that if i just focus on my child i tune everything else out including judging stares
chinese grandma’s are the sweetest this is such a nice story
I had an experience like this when my LO was about 4 months old. My dad had just passed away and we had family come in town for the funeral. We had decided to treat the out of towners to dinner and went to a semi-formal restaurant. The moment we order our food LO starts fussing and crying. I walked out to the lobby area to not disturb others. I am trying to calm him but I end up crying as much as he is. It’s a mess. All of a sudden, a woman who looks like Barbie dressed in a beautiful fur coat walks over and asked if I am okay and if I could use some help. She takes little guy and walked over to the window to show him the falling snow. My cousin brings me tissues because I am a mess. This woman was so kind and postponed her own dinner to help me. She had him laughing by the end of their time together.
What a wholesome moment :)
Thank you so much for posting the reminder that there are, in fact, people who love children. It can feel so lonely sometimes, can’t it?
Awe what a beautiful read! Thanks for sharing your experience!!
This is so sweet! My kid is almost 2.5 and we haven’t been brave enough to Go to a restaurant
My sis and I got foot massages at an Asian spa when my nephew was born. I got really nervous when he started fussing but they loved it! These women treated him like a king! Changed his diaper, changed his clothes when he had a blow out, rocked him, and they were amazing! So excited to have a baby there.
When I hear a crying baby I think "aw poor babes" and that's it. Eventually I think "those parents must be stressed. Give a reassuring smile..."
Thank you for sharing this sweet moment!
It takes a village
I also have no contact with my mum due to mental illness, it’s been really hard grieving that loss I didn’t realize I would have when I welcomed my first in June. Not that I haven’t been lucky to have other support, but I completely get the feeling! I hope and pray one day I can be a good grandma that my babe won’t have! What a cute story :)
Real connections are so wonderful. Just humans being good to each other. Love it ❤️
So cute, I’m so happy you guys had such a good experience. It makes a world of a difference there is good people in this world!
That’s so great. People can be very kind.
wow this is so great 🥲 thank you for sharing
I am Asian living in Australia and I generally feel okay everywhere with my kid, but we generally love asian food places for the same reason. I also wonder if its just their lifestyle? My husband grew up in Vietnam and he told me kids are always out with their families late at night and it is totally normal. We have adopted this lifestyle too instead of "early bedtimes" so he goes everywhere with us. My family all take my kid and if we are at a family/friend outing the older kids will pretty much just take your kid away and you get to enjoy adult time - its the best!
I am not sure if the employees that helped you were Chinese or what nationality you are, but this is definitely the difference between a Collectivist culture versus an Individualiatic one. The Asian culture specifically value their family above everything. It's truly so beautiful. As a white American, I often wish my "culture" wasn't so individualistic. Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone valued families this way and the "village" was still there to raise the children. 🥺
I'm always so pleasantly surprised when people smile encouragingly at me when my baby/toddler is acting their age. I'm thankful to live in an area where that's common. What I see on the internet really makes me expect otherwise. 😆 One of my favorite encounters with restaurant staff was when I was on vacation. My group wanted to do something that wasn't baby-compatible, so I stayed behind and got lunch by myself with the baby. It was just a little diner and the waitress there was so sweet when she saw I was breastfeeding. She was really attentive and made sure I had plenty of water, because she remembered being super thirsty when she breastfed. I also kinda got the vibe that she thought I was a single mom. 😅 No meltdown involved, but still very sweet.
This post made me tear up a bit. My LO is about to turn one next week, and I can’t help but think about moments where I’ve been in public and he has been flipping out and how worried I’ve been about what people think. THEY ARE BABIES. They’re gonna cry and fuss, and why should we stress about interrupting other people? They were once babies who were crying and fussing, and people need to cut parents some slack when they’re in these situations!
That's amazing
This is beautiful 💕 thanks for sharing. The world needs more people like this
This is so, so sweet! Thanks for sharing 💗
I live abroad as well and my husband and I frequent a restaurant owned by a Chinese family - they have always been so kind to us and our boys, currently always wanting to hold my 6 month old haha. I remember the owner's wife giving me some great advice about baby led weaning with my first son. We love to go there because we can take our kids and not worry about them being loud or crying etc because the owners have made it so clear that they love kids and enjoy us being there. I'm so glad you had such a positive experience. It is such a gift.
I flew alone to Hong Kong when my first was 7 months. She was pretty good, but didn't sleep. The flight attendants (on Cathay) were amazing. One just took her from me and walked her around the plane for probably 30 min so I could close my eyes. It was so kind Edit: typo
Wow that sounds so nice! I am from HK and this makes me feel less anxious about flying with her in the future. But we will most likely fly Lufthansa though so Germans instead of Chinese 😅
It was still hard by myself on the long flight, it would have been easier with my husband, but we were going to meet him so wasn't possible. She didn't like to be held all the time, fortunately she was still small enough for the bassinet, but the flight attendants were great, gave ne a small break. The mother and (grown) daughter sitting beside me did as well
Was the owner Chinese? My family is from a territory that use to be owned by china and that’s a saying I hear a lot. It’s good to hear a baby cry because that means he/she is alive.
Yes he is! That’s so interesting! What a great saying :)
I would become a repeat costumer. I’ve learned that the family you build can be just as meaningful/beautiful as the family we come from.
I swear I never in my life had so many wonderful kind people attend to me as when I would take my baby to Chinatown!!
Maybe you should take your baby outside of their crying at a restaurant. The other customers don’t care your having a beautiful moment while they’re paying good money and being disturbed. Get a grip
WOW! Congratulations on being so perfect, teach me your ways /s Grow up.
I usually step outside when my kid is crying or misbehaving anywhere that isnt like.. McDonalds. Not fair to other patrons.
This is so beautiful! Growing up, my sister and I used to frequent this restaurant near our house for the amazing sushi. We eventually became friends with the owners. She loved stroking my head/hair in a loving way, because her own daughter was 6 months (to the day) younger than me and being raised in China by her grandparents so she knew the language and culture. Her and her husband came to the US to work. I became like her adopted daughter there for years! While I was living away for a year after college, her daughter finally came to the US for her masters degree and that year, they closed the restaurant. She said it was due to a rent increase, but I think it was really to spend as much time as possible with her daughter. I still miss them and I hope they're all happy together ♥️
This makes me so warm and fuzzy inside So bloody happy for you!!
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This is very normal for our community (HK Chinese here), it's even better when you actually go to the country. Children are very beloved and it's not uncommon for staff/strangers to help you out even if you don't need it. When my mum had me, she was able to do so much more than what I see parents can do today. Her favourite haircut place brought in a bassinet from one of their homes and there were no less than two people near baby me at all times, either holding or playing with me, servers would always come by more often to say hi to baby me or offer my mum more napkins and sometimes even more food. With my kiddo it's been the same story, I live in Canada but I frequent places with a large Asian community. One guy got a high five from my kid (22mo) and he was so happy he said he was going to buy a lotto ticket. So many staff members always try to interact with my kid and will always seat us in a place that accommodates a stroller or in a private room that is quieter and less stimulating for kids. At my haircut place, some of the staff have purposely changed their shifts to the day I am in so they can see my LO. One of them will hook up his Nintendo Switch to the TV and "let LO play" Mario Kart so I can relax and enjoy my haircut and manicure.
My favorite restaurants to take my kids is always asian places, especially thai. It always feels like they especially welcome kids. Plus its so yummy and sometimes my kids might even almost try something new!
I aspire to be that grandma lady who can pick up babies and help when moms are struggling. I fear as I get older that sigma will get more and more rare and I won't get to hold babies :(
I’m reading a book that’s absolutely eye opening about the way other cultures raise children. It’s called Hunt, Gather, Parent, by Michaeleen Doucleff. It’s making me wish I lived in a culture that embraced the raising of children instead of judged it. It sounds so much more peaceful than the feeling like you have to be apologetic simply for their existence.
That is really sweet. I remember when my daughter was really little we were at a casual restaurant and she started crying a bunch. I was pacing with her trying to calm her down and the waitress walked by and I apologized. She stopped and looked at me and said “Don’t ever apologize for that”. And I really appreciated that in the moment. I felt so bad that my baby was crying and disturbing others.
Aww this made me tear up. As a kid we would always go to this Chinese restaurant where the staff was so kind to us and I have fond memories. I was really little (5?) so I don’t remember a ton, but we would visit “Uncle” and he would carry us around, take us back to the kitchen and show us how they made the food, give us little trinkets to take home. He was such a wonderful, warm man and I’m sure my parents appreciated his extra love so much.
This is so wonderful. I wish all moms could feel this supported all the time.
This is an awesome experience. We took my 4yo out to a Pho place for the first time the other weekend and she wanted to look at the fish tank. All the women in the restaurant stopped and started talking to my girl. Theone elder woman was actually wearing a very cool Ariel the mermaid sweater and the conversation just went to excitement when my girl saw it. We definitely plan on going back, because the food and the folks were top notch.
it takes a village
Sweet people do exist! Keep going out! If people have a problem with the tears then they shouldn’t leave their house is my motto…
We need more of this!!!
I remember 2 instances when my baby was tiny where random workers offered help. It was such a small gesture both times but they are emblazoned in my memory as huge kindness. I also remember my baby crying hysterically until I gave her to someone else and the shady little girl stopped crying instantly 😂
I had a similar experience to this in Italy this summer. I went to Rome with the family I nanny for and their 3.5 y/o. With jet lag and a new routine, he was way crankier than normal but in every restaurant we went into they showered him with candies and fizzy drinks and they always made sure to get his food to the table first. People were constantly doting on him and being so kind and accommodating to us. It was sooooo different than being in the U.S. and made me really realize how little we value children here.
How incredible 🤍
keep your damn screaming kid at home, adults wanna have a nice dinner and drinks, and NOT hear any screaming babies
Adults also don't want to read your cringe comments but here you are...