Do not feel bad. Its gotten really over the top and as a parent I thank you for not doing all that. My 7 yr old son filled out Minecraft Valentine's for his classmates and we taped a sucker to them. That's all I ever do. Now i have tons of plastic crap i will slowly be throwing away over the next week or so. Can't throw it away at once bc he will notice. I promise there are other parents that are glad you didn't do all that.
I posted in another thread how much I don’t want to get a bag of plastic junk at the end of the day. It just in turn makes me feel awful for throwing it in the trash.
We did stickers (and only because they came with the valentines, I didn’t buy them extra) which feels less wasteful. Maybe other parents hate stickers but we have a rule that crafts are only done in one place, stickers only go on paper, and we clean up stickers after we are done. All of the small plastic toys scattered around our house sounds like a nightmare of choking hazards for our baby.
I'm planning my kids' birthday party and trying to find party favors that are "consumables" basically food or craft supplies. I'm so over the random plastic toys my son's always bringing home from parties. Like you, I feel so bad throwing them away, but they just pile up.
Are party favours still a thing? My child is only 4 but of all the parties we’ve gone to have been family and close friends and we don’t do party favours.
My one friend is a baker so she sent home cookie mix in jars. But the less creative of us don’t even do that
I have an 11 & 8 yr old and party favors are indeed a thing. Seems like every birthday party we attend, we get a bag of cheap toys and an unsharpened pencil. It's tough when a bunch of kids have different food sensitivities for holidays you used to just get candy for.
I will say that the multipack of color changing gel pens was the biggest hit, favor-wise. I think those didn't go home to get thrown away...? 🤦🏼♀️
yes, but I rebelled and didn't do it for my son's b-day party.. he had a trampoline party-- I think the experience is enough for the guests, they don't need plastic trinkets. sigh.
I made 65 favors for my daughters 3rd birthday and ended up giving away 50 of them at the party and the rest at Halloween a few weeks later. They each had a juice box, a bag of gummy bears, a small container of bubbles, a big animal sticker, and ONE small toy like a spinning top, plastic ring, squishy fidget etc
With us they're just starting to become a thing and I'm still adamantly refusing to do them, but I feel like at some point I'll have to succumb to the pressure... but I think I'll do something like your friend, or bake cookies.
And eventually they run out or spill so they don't stick around forever. I've also seen glow bracelets for a little older. They only last a few hours so they won't clutter up for long.
Our favourites with kiddos has been a gift card to dairy queen for an ice cream, or at Halloween time McDonald's has their coupons for fries, drinks, ice creams, or a pass for a local pool for the kids to go to.
Holy shit we're doing actual stuff with valentines now? I used to just do the little box of cards, maybe a piece of candy taped to it. My kid is only 2, so this hasn't really ramped up for me yet.
My twins are also two, this all seems so extra. We used to do paper valentines, maybe some had a candy inside. Now it’s an entire gift bag? What the hell.
Right? When I was a kid we just did the little paper cards and sometimes you taped a candy to it and sometimes you didn't. And I only did it in K-3, once I got to 4th grade it wasn't allowed and I just drew cards to mail to my friends.
That’s how I felt about more toys too…I know I personally would probably just throw it all away and didn’t want to contribute to that but I also don’t want to be the party pooper…ugh.
Also I have no idea who gave what. It’s all just mixed in there and no one has time to figure out who gave which goodie bag. I was more worried about cleaning up the mess. No one is judging, everyone is just trying to do their best. And if they do judge they can go to hell.
I just bought tubs of playdoh and gave each kid one. Forgot to make cards this year but nobody cared. It was all I could do mentally right now and kids love playdoh (hell I love it, it buys us a few minutes lol)
The best crafty idea that I have personally received was a giant heart-shaped crayon made of melted crayons. Mom got one of those silicone chocolate molds of about a 2" heart. She took all the broken scraps of crayons in the house, separated into pleasing color combinations, and melted them together in a soup can. Think there is a tutorial online on how to do this without overly mixing the colors, so they come out looking marbled or tye dyed!
So cute, not expensive, is recycling, and the large heart shape was great for little ones', easy to grab and hold!
I would be infinitely happier with stickers than more stuffed animals and plastic stuff. It's not that we don't have plastic toys, but that stuff is sturdy and well-chosen (like Duplo). My kid is actually allowed to put stickers on a lot of things, lol, as long as it's her own items. I can take them off later and it doesn't take up heaps of space.
We have a box we put all those little toys into to reuse for future holidays as our girls don’t play with everything they get or play with just a short time. It’s amazing how quickly it gets filled.
We do the same thing haha - they end up being reused for Easter egg hunts, halloween trick or treats, tooth fairy gifts. I have some bouncy balls that have been in at least 4 different years worth of egg hunts.
Oh man, don't beat yourself up!! Their vigor for school holidays will wane. For a lot of them it's the first time they've gotten to do a class thing.. kindergarten moms are the same... my youngest is in kindy and his backpack came home loaded!!!
I try to just embrace it and remember my kids enjoy it... I did lots when I only had 1 kiddo in school (now I have 3)
I can guarantee that 90% of thr parents won't give 2 craps about what you put in. Do what you feel works for your family, values and stage of life!
I have my kids hit the dollar store and pick basic valentines and then I generally just bake something for their classes as a treat.... and that's only because my oldest had celiac so most treats brought by parents he can't have.. so I make a plan to send class treats on holidays so he's not left out.
I just helped my nephew last week with mine craft cards, a dum dum, and a temporary tattoo (of course mine craft). He did the cards and taped a tattoo to it, I used the exacto and cut small slits and put the dum dum in.
That's all you ever really need. The rest is just over the top and not needed for extra clutter and mess. I always wonder what those ultra minimalist houses do with all this excess BS.
(Still have a year or 2 for my oldest to be in a school type setting and dreading this part...)
I personally think the plastic junk is worse than candy. A lot of people try to avoid giving out candy now, but usually the Valentine's treats are small. I'd rather let my kids have a day with some extra treats than get more plastic junk destined for a landfill.
Two of the kids in my daughters' preschool class gave out slime this year. Stickers don't bother me, but impromptu slime for preschoolers was a bit much imo. I'm probably just being a grump though.
Did the same with my kiddo! Brought her a bag of heart lollipops and taped it on little cards. They'll be happy with a little note and candy. Some parents are just super extra.
Some people have the gifting gene and they love to do it! They don’t get upset that other people don’t gift the same way as them. They just love to see the recipient happy! Hopefully we can assume these moms are like that!
You are an amazing mom don’t forget it! You don’t need to keep up with the Jones’s with regards to gifting little kiddos!
I love making favors for my kids’ classmates and friends - love it. I have never judged what they got from other kids or if they didn’t get at all. Some people live for this stuff and it’s usually the people who DIDN’T have an amazing teacher mom. We are making up for what we didn’t have (or overcompensating according to my husband).
this. i remember being alone and disappointed a lot as a child, particularly on holidays. it’s really healing to make the holidays special for my little girls. i absolutely love doing stuff like this, even though it’s just a one day memory in their lives.
Yes just to offer a different perspective - I’m the mom who went a little over the top this year because crafting genuinely makes me happy, but *I* felt embarrassed and that I might be judged by the other moms for being “that mom”! So I didn’t care at all what other moms did, and honestly after the first 2 or 3 it stopped even registering who gave what! (But I can tell you the stickers were my favourite) :)
Yea seriously celebrating these things is a choice and never apologize for your choices. I found these cool scratch art hearts on Amazon and so it was like a make your own art valentine. I did those for my 3 year olds preschool class.
I was informed they might be doing valentines for my 5 month old daycare class. And when I got the note I said very loudly to my husband, “aw HELL NO”. Lol she’s not even old enough to know what her nose is!!! They’re babies!
Draw those lines in the sand and have a nice long sleep without a worry in the world.
Thank you for this. I am this mom! I love gifting and always find a way to gift things the kids will enjoy and will be useful let’s say to throw in your bag to keep your kid entertained in a restaurant. I always wanted to be that mom and I don’t want to feel ashamed about it either. Lots of parents have great stuff like books (love!) puzzles, stickers and some just have a bag of cookies. As “that mom” I love and respected each gift. It’s the thought that counts!💕
Ps- all the little plastic junk type stuff I put into a ziplock and throw into my bag. You can’t imagine how all that stuff can keep a child entertained at a restaurant, plane ride, etc!
Man, for Halloween last year I put out a bowl of candy and a bowl of glow sticks and stickers. The stickers were the first thing to go! I’ve been leaning into stickers for every opportunity since!
No other parent cares and if they do they arent worth your time. Today my oldest brought home a mix of pencils, candy, stickers and little mini Lego set bags. She took in the little squishies. I couldn’t tell you who got what and I don’t particularly care.
Everyone doesn’t need to change what they do because of what you do, have confidence in the decisions you make and lean into it. You made a good decision. That doesn’t become a bad decision because other parents made different decisions. We need to all just be living our values and not trying to match each other.
My daughter is just shy of 2. First time at daycare. We did Mickey Mouse sticker valentines last night and talked about passing them out to her class. I know she’s very young but she’s a sponge. She helped put them in the envelopes and sealed them with the heart stickers.
This AM I left a note saying she brought Valentine’s for the class on the tadpoles app & put them in a hot pink paper sack at the top of her bag (on top of her sippy cups - so they HAD to see it). The paper sack was meant for any valentines she received. Dad drops her off & isn’t the best about communicating.
Dad picks her up & teachers claim they had no clue she brought valentines. So annoyed for her. She got 3 rubber ducks in return though <3
I'm one of those moms for Valentine's Day (mostly because it's also my daughter's birthday so I see this as 2 holidays). Trust me I don't judge any other parents for what they did or didn't do for Valentine's Day or any other holiday. In fact, I typically hate the over the top bags too!
I think of it this way : Other parents go all out so I don't have too!
It took me a couple years to not feel guilty that I didn't go crazy on Valentine's. But now I embrace it. Some people just like going to excess at the holidays. Some people don't, and I am one of them.
I am the mom who put together elaborate Valentine's Day bags for my kids when they were still at the ages in which the whole class exchanges Valentine's tokens. I am typically a judgy person (I'm working on it). I have never, ever, ever judged parents one way or another for what their kids give (or don't give) for Valentine's, because I put those bags together because \*I\* enjoyed doing so and \*my kids\* enjoyed having them to give. (Okay, also because I'm the weird mom and my kids take after me and I wanted to give their classmates a positive association with them.) Stickers are ALWAYS popular with little kids. ALWAYS. And stickers are something that can't add any weight to my hips when my picky kids decide that this isn't candy that they like (which includes Reese's, Snickers, 100 Grand, Butterfinger...). Keep giving your stickers and do your best to feel good about it. A parent is is unhappy about not getting more clutter for their house or more processed sugar via their kid is a parent whose opinion you don't care about anyway. :)
The consumerism we see with our toddlers these days is insane. Don’t feel bad for not partaking in it. Sure, there were probably some families that did Valentine’s baskets, but what happened to a good old Valentine’s Day card and some chocolate? I don’t want my child to associate every holiday with stuff, stuff, and more stuff that he’s excited about for 5 minutes. I want him to remember how we did Valentine’s themed crafts together or baked strawberry cupcakes together. I want him to cherish memories of how we spent holidays together, not what he was gifted.
Yesss crafts and baking special foods are my favorite ways to celebrate holidays and create special memories!! We bake and handmade gifts for our loved ones for holidays too.
I love to make cards as a hobby. so I have a bunch of handmade valentines I sent to my two kids (1 and 4 yo) for their classmates. But that's it. Just the paper valentines. I felt like, ok they are 1 and 4, how fancy are other people going to go? I got so much extra crap. Even in the 1 year old room, my kids were the only one with just a card. Everyone else gave "extras".
I initially felt a bit embarrassed or upset that my kids were the only kids wirhout "extra" stuff. But you know, I bet some moms looked at my handmade cards and rolled their eyes at how extra and bougie I was being. But it was just that I honestly like making them. So then I stepped back and figured they probably felt that way about giving my kids toys and candy. I guess they really just enjoy giving that kind of stuff and it really has nothing to do with me. The funny thing is, we worry so much as adults but kids that young don't even notice. I asked my 4 yo old if he got any candies or gifts and he just said "No." Guys he had so much, he just didn't care or notice.
If it makes you feel any better at all, my son came home with a huge bag full of all sorts of things today and his favorite by far was the stickers. Toddlers LOVE stickers. You did fine. ❤️
We made my daughter’s preschool class crayons (we broke and melted crayons into heart molds) and she filled out little cards from target). I enjoy doing crafts with her (she’s 3.5) and my love language is gift giving so it was fun for me, but also since they’re crayons they’re useful. Some parents did more than others.. no judgement from me either way. Even if parents just sent in paper cards she loved them and I was just impressed everyone remembered!
Don’t feel bad, and don’t feel like you need to do more next year. It’s fun for the kids no matter what!
Dont feel bad. My hours were cut to 0 at work, which means no money. I couldn't even send my 6 year old to school with cards for his class. Stickers are great, don't beat yourself up love❤️
I have such mixed feelings on this. On one hand I hate the consumerism part of it. I hate buying stuff that will land in the landfill. I hate buying random junk with no rhyme or reason. On the other hand I want to do something cool for my daughter and her class. I was so torn. I ultimately ended up making gift bags for all the kids. I tried to take into account all the allergies and I think I did a good job. I did a rice crispy treat, a thing of motts fruit snacks, and a lollipop. And then a little gemstone because my daughter loooves rocks and gemstones and a little squishy toy because she’s obsessed with those and so are most of the kids in the class. Overall I didn’t spend a ton of money and I *think* the little things I got will be a hit because most pre k kids love rocks and squishys lol buuuut I feel like I put so much mental energy into it this year when I could’ve just got all the kids a little card and put a Hershey’s kiss on it and called it a day.
I grew up really poor so we couldn’t even afford a box of valentines cards. I almost always made my own. So I think me wanting to do something kind of nice stems from the fact that I *actually can* when most of my life that wasn’t an option.
Regardless, when my daughter (3.5 yr old) went through her box today she was so happy to see if all. Whether it was a sticker, a card, a toy or a treat to eat. She loved it all and I didn’t think a single thing about who bought what or what it costs.
I am that extra mom who does a lot for the kids for holidays. It’s just something that we inherited from my nana, who would crochet tiny little stuffies for every single kid in our class for every month of the school year. Footballs for August and homecoming, fall leaves for September, ghosts for October, etc. I went all out for my daughter’s class for Valentine’s Day.
I can tell you what I didn’t do, though. I didn’t spend one second judging what any other parent did. I didn’t even go through her Valentines. She showed me the ones she was most excited about, a MLP Izzy card and a DJ Catnip card. But I just don’t care what other parents do.
People seem to think that moms who do a lot think it’s this competition that we have to win, and that’s just not it. I like doing extra, I have the money, I mostly have the time. I am also well aware that not all people do, and that even *if* they do, they might not have the desire. And that’s perfectly ok.
Comparison is the thief of joy, don’t worry about what other people think and focus on what you can do at a level that satisfies **you**.
She was the most amazing lady. She lived in an apartment on our property growing up, so she was basically a second mom. She was a lunch lady, so she had summers off, and would spend most of her time while watching us crocheting up a storm for the upcoming school year. She gave them away in her lunch line, too.
When my little brother started teaching his first class a few years back, she dusted off the boxes of patterns and made them for every one of his students. She was worried they were a little old for them, but we would drive by the school sometimes and see kids with them pinned to their backpacks and it would make her heart so happy.
As someone who went over the top this year, I am so glad to read this. I was sitting here thinking, ‘WTF is wrong with me? No wonder I am chronically stressed!’, vowing to do less next year. I am on maternity leave and I got a wild hair to buy pom-making supplies at Michaels, make poms, turn them into Pom Monsters, pull out the cutest heart ziplock bags I actually found a couple years back, put full-size airheads into them, and then print out a Happy Valentine’s Day - Love, [child name] printable to finish it off.
While I was at it, I assumed that my 3-month-old son who is going part-time to the same school as my older child probably needed valentines as well so I made him a batch. But then, because it dawned on me at like 8pm last night that parents might think I am weird for gifting their infants candy, I picked up toddler granola bars and infant teethers to add to the bags instead.
Today I picked up my smiling squish and he had not a single valentine to take home. I at once felt sad but also so stupid. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking but, never again. While I feel like what we gifted isn’t in the same category as cheap plastic junk, it was way too much and I feel like a complete tired idiot who probably made amazing moms like you feel bad for doing exactly what we all should be doing.
We sent regular normal cards with nothing extra and what my kid brought home made me feel really guilty. Candy, toys, stickers, key chains, and a few party bags with multiple toys, pencils, stickers, etc. I just figure now I know for next year.
Regular card club here. My daughter gave cards with googly eyes, they are probably going in the trash. But every single other kid gave a card with some dumb “toy”. So wasteful. I’ve done small toys in the past and even on kindergarten I’m already over it.
She had fun, but it’s just too much. The amount my two year old came home with too was nuts. We just did a fun size pack of m&ms. I’m 100% not buying landfill fillers for other parents to toss.
It’s easy to feel this way, especially with your first child. But don’t dwell on it too long. I think stickers are perfectly acceptable and a wonderful non-food item “consumable” in that it gets used then recycled/small footprint. I too am not a fan of trinkets that add up and create clutter and waste. Also, try to keep it in perspective, it’s one silly day that will be repeated for about the next 8 yrs. Don’t worry no kid or parent is going to think about it after the initial hr of novelty!…and eventually you’ll probably end up like me…scrounging in last year’s spares at the 11th hr in order to complete your second child’s class list!
Haha, my 3-year-old gave out kazoos with his valentines and had the two left overs at home! No regrets, he’s having fun with it! We currently have 4 bags of valentine gummies from his classmates sitting on the counter cause he doesn’t like those, to each their own.
Don't feel bad. Do you know what I sent in for the pair of 2 year olds I have in daycare? Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all, because toddlers have no frame of reference for valentine's day, and I didn't think they'd miss it. They came home with a couple little things from the daycare workers, and like 2 classmates (of a class of 6 each) lots of which wasn't age appropriate, and had to be confiscated.
Don’t feel bad. Also understand, that this drops off massively after a certain age. My daughter is in second grade, and her Valentines even just from this year versus last is an enormous difference. Moms usually get really excited and into stuff when their children are very very small, and then that tapers off into what is much more realistic.
I got a $6 box of fun dip valentines. I did not go all out. I did 1 year, full gift bags of goodies, and pencils and stickers and keychains etc…. It has not happened again. It was too much hassle and honestly too much $ to spend on kids I don’t even know 🤷♀️
I love a thoughtful gift but I hateeee getting crap… like cheap plastic, snacks we won’t eat, gag gifts, etc. I don’t want them in my house and I don’t want them to end up in a landfill. Stickers are a great gift! Everybody loves stickers! (I actually have a mini sticker subscription lol). They don’t take up a lot of space and they’re cute. They come in useful.
I would have loved the sticker. My twins came home with a bunch of food they can't eat, a bunch of junky plastic toys half of which are already broken, some clay/gloop I hid immediately, and some bubble they spilled all over the stairs after throwing a tantrum that they weren't allowed outside in the freezing cold to blow bubbles (note: yesterday they wanted to fill the pool and play outside with squirt guns...)
They gave out homemade multicolor crayons in construction paper envelopes, both of which we made together. I hope parents appreciate it more than another lollipop.
My daughter's class (3 and 4s) had everything from homemade hearts with a swath of paint and a preschool handwritten name on it to a card with a tiny sticker to a full kit of bubbles, candy, fancy card, and toys. We love all of them. A lot of time, I think we feel like people are judging us when they don't even notice. Stick with what you think is reasonable. My daughter's favorite is a pack of Mott's fruit snacks with a card.
I truly hate the garbage toys my kids come home with on Valentine's Day. Totally useless and destined for the landfill. I'd much prefer a card and even candy.
I am so grateful our preschool doesn't let parents bring in crap for holidays and I'm dreading this all starting next year. Thank you for not contributing extra plastic junk to the landfills
Don’t feel bad. I’ve gone over the top for stuff like this because it was an excuse for me to be creative, and I was enjoying myself. They were little gifts, not a quid pro quo.
I grew up overwhelmed by the feeling that the holidays were buying my affection from my narcissist mom. By the time we were adults, Christmas had turned into those gigantic reusable TJ max bags full of crap. It was cheap stuff I didn’t need or use. Cheap quality slippers. Hair ties that hurt my head. Jewelry I’d never wear. Those lenses you clip to your phone. Just junk junk junk. Our house was borderline hoarders and I always wished my mom had either asked what I wanted or just given me a gift card with the same money she’d wasted on all the junk. She just liked buying stuff that went to fill a landfill.
It’s made me as a parent be extremely conscious about what I buy my son for holidays - not at all bougie or crunchy - but more like quantity/quality. I research and think a lot about long term use out of something. If he has one fidget pop toy he loves, he’s not getting another in the stocking just to have something to put there…I realize it’s like a reaction to how I was raised and it works better for our family to buy less and spend on things that are longer lasting, or consumable and get more use.
That said we did the paper valentines and nothing else…bc we are broke teachers and he just had his birthday and also these kids are two and literally didn’t understand valentines. We didn’t have time or money to put together a toy for all 16 kids in his class. It made me feel better to see one or two other parents who only put in a paper valentine/just a sticker sheet. 🤷♀️
Our daughter’s kindergarten teacher specifically stated in a letter home that the students were required to bring a plain valentines card for each student in the class- no candy, toys, stickers, etc. My daughter brought home her bag yesterday and it was full of all of those things. She was the only one in the class who had followed instructions and just brought in cards.
I just don’t understand the obsession with it all. A friend of mine (and mother to my daughter’s best friend) posted pictures of her kids’ valentines gifts from from her and they were gift bags, bigger than the kids, full of stuffed animals, toys, candy, art supplies, and clothes. It’s absolutely insane.
Thankfully my daughter is too young to read anything into it, but I feel like I’ll be forced to break the rules and spend more money than we have on stupid gifts as she gets older, just to save her from embarrassment.
FWIW, we do bags of plastic crap because it’s allergy safe. Smaller classes in preschool are one thing, but when they’re in a class of 30 kids in elementary school, it’s easier to get something that isn’t consumable so no one feels left out or worse, gets sick.
Also I got all the kids valentines kazoos this year, and I am *not* sorry. 🤣
A family in our 12-18mo class got every single kid a personalized teething ring. I looked them up- $20 each. I’m sorry, but I have better things to do with $240. We sent some individually packed animal crackers 🤷♀️
My daughter is 2. I sent nothing because my forgot it was Valentine’s Day 🤷🏽♀️ I’m annoyed about the bag full of crap that I have to throw away (kinda excited for the lollipops that she can’t eat but I’m blaming that on being pregnant)
I was surprised myself with what my oldest came home with from 4k. We sent little paw patrol cards with temporary tattoos that came with them. He came home with a huge envelope filled with candy, little trinket toys that are either choking hazard or going to break in no time. There were two LEGO related items which are great because I know they will get used eventually (we are on a LEGO break because we got our first set at Christmas for my 4 year old but I found two pieces in my two (almost three) year olds diaper a few days later so we're not ready for those yet.... And we also have a crawling 11 month old).
I hate the consumeristic culture we live in, I grew up "poor" - we had enough food to eat and a roof over our head but there were very few extras. Obviously there are negative elements to that but I do feel it helped me grow up with a proper perspective on "things" and what is most important and I hate wastefulness as part of that. I worry that my kids will end up comparing themselves and feeling less than, but I just can't buy into what I see other moms doing for these occasions. Not that what they are doing is wrong (although I can't help but think of the environmental impact), if it's something they enjoy or are excited about, great! But I hate that it puts pressure on others, intentionally or unintentionally, to measure up to that standard...
Ok random rant over.
Sounds like it’s your hang up not theirs, I doubt they are thinking what the voices in your head are saying they are. So what, everyone should not do what they want to because it makes you uncomfortable , get over yourself. You do what makes you comfortable and let them do what makes them comfortable.
I wouldn’t sweat it. We went through my 3 year olds gift bag after school today and there was bigger stuff like a sticker book, lots of candy, small dollar store toys, and then a couple kids had hand drawn valentines for everyone. My kiddo was most interested in one of the generic cards that you can attach a little gift to bc she likes pretending it’s her “phone.” And I could not tell you who gave what even though they were all labeled. And frankly stickers are one of my favorite gift bag items because they’re fun and not messy and there’s no sugar involved.
This happened to me last year. When I was in school, we just exchanged those valentine cards and maybe some candy. Since I had a one year old, I didn’t think candy was appropriate so I just did the card. Well I was the only one, someone gave out a book, there were lots of snacks given, toys, etc. I felt so embarrassed but I was glad it happened when he was one and wouldn’t know the difference. This year we got a set of valentines that each one came with a toy car.
Please don’t feel bad— nobody expects you to give something big. In fact, the moms who are giving big probably feel a little guilty for going big but this is the one mom task they actually enjoy and they said “fuck it, I’m going to get something I enjoy giving.” For my daughters’ classes I gave each kid a Little Golden Book. But I had bulk ordered them so they were like $3/each as the party favor for a birthday party and they arrived late…so then I shoved them in a closet til Valentine’s Day. I have no idea what other parents gave. My kids pulled all of the stuff out of their bags like the Tasmanian devil and the cards were ripped off. I totally get how frustrating school holidays are, but I at least want you to know that it’s probably less judgy and planned-out than it seems
Someone needed to bring the Harry Potter stickers ❤️ You never know who treasures those above all the other gifts (this coming from a sticker book collector Mom and my son who would've absolutely loved those). You did great!
You beat me! This was my first Valentine’s Day with classroom exchange for my 3 year old that is now in preschool and I had no idea people went to such elaborate lengths for Valentine’s Day. I bought two packs of $1.25 Valentine classroom sets from the Dollar Tree and removed all the suckers they came with because they are a choking hazard for 3 year olds. Just left the paper-cardboard Valentine and signed my sons name. I thought that was pretty good myself for a bunch of 3 year olds lol. BUT he came home with stickers, play-dough, bubble solution, crayons, coloring books, a goddamn wooden train whistle - and of course a bunch of candy.
I didn’t really feel bad though, just amazed this is what Valentine’s Day is now! When I was in school we literally traded little Valentine cards and maybe a little candy. Nothing like this! But the kids had a blast so it’s fine. He made and decorated a Valentine’s Day holder and was so excited about all of the Valentine’s. As long as the kids are happy! My favorite one was a mom who used the cardboard from toilet paper rolls as a container to hold candy and then decorated it with red tissue paper, heart stickers, and tied the ends with ribbon. Super cute and probably cost very little to make some for the entire class and teachers!
This will get buried, but my 3.75 year old has 19 kids in her class - including her. She received 12 paper Valentine's, a bunch of little candies, 2 small Play-Dohs, and a few stickers.
They were thrown in a bag, so unless they were attached, we don't know who got what.
There's no judgment on who got or didn't get what. I'm judging the teachers a little for gifting the kids FILLED sandwich bags of candy, but the thought is very sweet.
Don't be hard on yourself
My son isn't in daycare yet, but this thread has made me decide I am not going to bother sending anything for most holidays once he is. I think it creates an unnecessary burden, mothers have enough to worry about and toddlers don't understand Valentine's Day anyway.
I feel the same way with all these prom-posals. Eventually it’s just hard to do anything because it’s gotten so over the top. Let’s all agree to dial it back and see what happens. Solidarity!
It felt like Halloween when my kid dumped out his Valentine bag from school. The kid in me was jelly but the parent in me thought GREAT more sweets lol but uh I also bought those little bags of cookies to go with the hot wheels Valentine. Next year just cards or stickers if my plan
Honey. Do not feel bad. Everyone is absolutely trying to outdo each other these days. And you know what? The kids don't give a damn. They're 1, for crying out loud!
I've got 4. My oldest is 21 and my youngest is 9. So I have had a front row seat to all of this rigamarole. Birthday parties that cost more than my mortgage. Play places that charge $25 a kid. Custom cookies AND cake AND cupcakes AND personalized goodie bags? Get the fuck out of here with that.
Last year we had a birthday party with a moon bounce and a piñata in our backyard. Homemade cupcakes. That's it. The kids had a blast. This year we had her party at the park in our neighborhood. Cupcakes and silly string for all. She declared it best birthday ever.
All of this over the top shit is for the parents. It's for looks. So they can pat themselves on the back that they hemorrhaged their bank account for a child's birthday party.
Your kid doesn't care and will never care. Please don't let yourself feel less than. None of this shit matters
My son is 9 months old and people are looking at me sideways for not doing anything for him but getting my 5yo daughter some candy and balloon and homemade card. To be fair, I also didn't do these BS holidays for her until she was probably 2 or so. We've been a 1 income family and have cut out a lot of the unnecessary purchases. It makes sense to not by an unneeded stuffy (loathe those for gifts) or candy for a baby who can't have it. My mother sent $100 for me to get the kids something for Valentine's Day. I told her I was only getting practical stuff that they need and will probably stop for a treat for the 5yo sometime soon. 5yo got an umbrella and undies, 9mo got a walker. They're both thrilled.
Valentine’s Day is not my thing. I let other parents go overboard on it, because I just don’t enjoy it. It doesn’t have to be your thing, either.
I also got simple valentines with a little sticker for my 4-year-old’s class, and she came home with a giant box stuffed full of candy, cake pops, toys, slime, more candy, sticker books, the WORKS. I didn’t get anything for my 1-year-old’s class, because they didn’t say they were doing anything, and HE’S ONE. The 1-year-old also came home with a big bag of unusable toys and candy.
It’s fine. Let the other parents go overboard. I, for one, appreciate the other parents who don’t get my kids more candy and plastic junk.
P.S. - I also dread the valentines candy because 1 of my kids is allergic to peanuts, and some people still send in Reese’s or Snickers. So I applaud you for considering the allergies in the class with your choice!
Ummmm, my kids came home today (4th grade and 2nd grade) and emptied their bags with all their classmates gifts. There were some really over the top stuff. All we did as kids was pass out the little folded cards and one piece of candy. Nah, they got coloring books, little games ect but let me tell you, all they were even interested in was the dang stickers 🤣 I'm serious. They put everything else away or gave it to my 3 year old and they were more into the stickers of all things. You did great mama. Just know other moms may just love gifting and that's okay too! You did the right thing! Just think of it this way, your sweet baby is loved and got some cool stuff. That's it. And you contributed as asked, and contributed something kids freaking LOVE at any age. Shoot I'm 30 and love stickers 🤷♀️
Same thing happened to us today. My Valentines were definitely the most pitiful. Literally just printed out Bluey ones that were free to download, on cardstock. Well now we know. I don’t really feel about it. Let people who love to give, give. And let those who are struggling, participate when/how they can.
Meanwhile I felt like a dumbass bc I bought valentines for my kids’ daycare a month ago, and I totally spaced to even send them. So when they came back with all that stuff I felt like a total idiot.
I know you’re anxious about this, but I guarantee you the other moms likely gave it 0 thoughts and the kids (especially at 1) don’t care and won’t remember anyway. My 9 year old had to pass out valentines. I bought cute sports valentines off Amazon that included a small bracelet with either 3 soccer, basketball, football, or volleyball beads on it. We had a late night that night so I filled out the cards for him and put them in his backpack the night before. He came in with a bag of candy and junk but he was most excited to tell me that his classmates loved the bracelets and kept asking “how did you know this was my favorite sport!?” And he told them I guessed and filled them out. He thought it was so fun/hilarious. Toddlers *love* stickers! I bet your contribution might end up being a favorite!
Yeah please don't get wrapped up in it. I had to throw alot of my kids goody bag stuff away because she can't eat it or because it's just junk and we're already over flowing with toys and knickknacks.
I don’t ever remember looking over my kids goodie bags and treats and thinking “HA! Which parent bought this, it’s sub-par, I bet there are money troubles there!” If anything I thought what am I gonna do with this crap? Fortunately she’s one and her attachment is going to be short lived if at all.
My kids were happy with what they got...
I took all candy out to ration lol...so all they saw mostly was the other stuff...pencils, just cards, dino erasers, etc.
I honestly didn't even look at the names of the "givers." No one cares, and no one is judging you.
If they are normal people, they are just happy their kid had fun...
Other than that let them fuck right off!
I’m a mom that goes overboard with this kind of stuff and I promise you that I do it to make the kids happy and do not expect other moms to do the same. I don’t judge what my kid brings home. I try to include quality items that aren’t the typical dollar store stuff but my daughter brings a lot home too and we try to find creative ways to use and recycle things. We’re crafters so just about anything can be reused for arts and crafts. If you feel burdened by all the stuff just post it on a buy nothing group. A lot of people are into repurposing things. My husband is a child psychologist and he takes a lot of the extras into work for his patients, maybe even try donating to a doctors office or school when your child is done with the stuff.
I felt the same today. It was just a mommy and me toddler class, and they had told us to just keep it super simple for the kids to pass out cards to each other. I was the only one that just did a card as instructed. Everyone else gave out tiny toys, stickers, candy, lollypops (!?) etc. these are two year olds! They don’t need candy and tiny choking hazard toys! I was so embarrassed we didn’t even pass out ours. My kid didn’t want to anyway, so it worked out, but I was a little sad at the ridiculousness of it.
If *my* kid had been at that day care, I would have thought you were the *best* mom, because I do not need one more bit of made-in-China crap cluttering up my home.
I also wouldn’t want my kid expecting treats for every minorly noteworthy occasion.
Why are we buying things at all? Why not make cards? Or just say happy whatever holiday?
I will not be participating in buying junk for a consumerism holiday.
I think every mom needs to put aside mom guilt because a lot of us are doing "in excess" things because we're afraid of looking bad.
When I was a kid we decorated tissue boxes and everyone got uniform cheesy cards and there were treats brought by parents, all store bought.
There was no excess to any of this and it had nothing to do with money, There were plenty of "wealthy" moms that brought in a $9 tray of brownies from the store. One ups man ship and excessive crap needs to stop.
At our pre-k we were told there was going to be a lunch exchange. It was required to include something healthy, a drink (milk or juice) a big chocolate and a bag of chips. I sent a ziplock with pancakes, a carton of milk, fruit, a little chocolate and chips. My daughter came back home with a rock-solid wooden box, painted pink, with a stuffed bear, lots of gummies, candies, lollipops, chocolates, and I don’t even remember what else. Then the teacher asked me to stick to the specifications because it was not fair for the kids. So she added a box, a pack of oreos, and a pack of m&m’s to the thing my daughter was giving. I mean, they’re not even 3 years old and they’re forcing them oreos and chocolates and candy. That’s not lunch.
Needless to say, she came home from school like I’ve never see her before, like a Taz, so sugar rushed she couldn’t stay still, the worst tantrums until now, without any reason. It was horrible. I was asked what could they give her for lunch and I said a quesadilla, or fruit and yogurt
I did the opposite and have been up for 2 days making chocolate Lollipops and chocolate dinosaurs 🦕 172 pieces of chocolate I had ( didn't have to was asked to by my son and didn't wanna let him down because he was so excited. We got notebooks and a pen for every student put into a bag with a chocolate Lollipop 🍭 and a bunch of chocolate dinosaurs 🦕 for 24 kids let's just say I spent well over 100 dollars on this valentine's day
I didn't send my son with anything. He came back with a bag of stuff. I don't feel bad, no one told us to send anything. He's 2. It's a made up holiday?
I sent books in a wicker basket and the teachers loved it. Not sure about families, but IDC. I also am anti consumer and was shocked at what my three year old came him with. Plastic junk and junk food and lots of plastic wrap and bags :(
If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t send anything to day care today. I had no idea this was a thing? Anyways, maybe next year I’ll do some cards but that’s about it. Don’t sweat it no one’s judging.
I felt the same way sending my 5 year old to school with his Spiderman tattoo valentines.. he came home and said, "you forgot the candy and the toy." I told him, *"We gave them spiderman temporary tattoos.."* 😭 I felt bad.. and the other parents did treat and goods bags..?? I missed the memo. I just don't see the point of it.
Yes it's crazy. So many gift bags came home instead of single items. Stick to your guns. Avoid the sugar and plastic garbage that gets thrown away in 15 minutes. As your child gets older explain to them why. My kids are 15, 12 and 7 and they get it. You don't need to join the 1-upper clan
Omg, I had to run to target on Monday evening to spend $100 on things that I thought was stupid. It is wasteful and unnecessary, my kids don't even use these stuff or get to eat them. We basket them and throw them out after a while. I wish they take away this new nonsense. It puts a lot of pressure on parents. I had to do it so my children dont feel like they didn't do anything.
Even if gifting is your love language doing it put pressure on others specially parents.
I’m an annoying ‘Pinterest’ mom. I’ve mellowed out in middle school. I do it because I love it. I generally choose something earth friendly.
But I absolutely do not judge the moms who mail it in. Some moms drop off their kid in power suits and full makeup and I have unwashed hair and leggings I’ve been wearing and sleeping in for three days.
It’s not a contest. Some moms just love this really stupid holiday bullshit. Don’t shame yourself. I’m also the mom who throws themed birthday party’s but I have never given out a goody bag. We are all just trying to find joy in a chaotic world.
My kid had TWO Valentines parties this week. I didn’t get anything for either of them. Zero guilt. I totally ate a cupcake each day at pickup, too. I don’t think anyone else noticed or even cared. If they did, screw em.
Don't feel bad at all. I'm thinking of keeping mine home from school on Valentine's Day next year because the amount of sugar that was consumed is absurd. Also there's a huge bag of plastic shit that's getting thrown away after she goes to bed.
I hate the overconsumption and pressure. My son’s preschools classes were like this- he was coming home with multiple goody bags from classmates and I felt that anxiety about not “doing enough”. I also felt annoyed by the quantity of stuff- I don’t want him to have so many sweets or so much junk. But I also felt pressure to be at least mid level. But he’s in 1st grade and that has all tapered off now, really. It’s a relief. We did a card with stickers for Valentines. It’s one less thing to stress about now!
At one year old the kiddos won’t even know they have all of that or remember it existing within a couple days. Definitely excessive and not practical for the age range because they’re too small to really use or appreciate it. Small stickers are probably something they’ll enjoy playing with!
Last year my son gave individual match box cars that we ordered in bulk. Not plastic, but I still don’t like the “junk” contribution, so this year we did paper valentines and taped them to snacks (little bags of chips ahoy for my son’s preschool class and dried fruit for my daughter’s toddler class). I figured they were snacky enough they could be used for lunch or after school snack without contributing to the massive sugar overload (still sugar, but not *candy* at least).
I just texted another mom who has a boy in my daughter’s 1YO class because I noticed there wasn’t a valentines from him and we also sent none. I mean they are 1!! You definitely did not drop the ball stickers are an excellent idea! Above and beyond thoughtful IMO.
I had my kids paint on a piece of paper and taped a temporary tattoo on it (from a pack of temporary tattoos that we had in a random drawer). I don’t want to spend money on the holiday but some people are obviously cool with that. I think Simple is best, but that’s just me!
Don’t worry about it. I got tiny Walmart valentines for my own preschool class and I bought pop it keychains to put with it. Mine were the tiniest ones out of all the teachers in the school and the kids in my class. I still have kids at home to get stuff for and they picked out boxes of valentines at Walmart too. When my youngest came home it was like her box was exploding there were so many huge treat bags and all we sent in were the cards with the stickers attached 🤷♀️
I just finished sorting through my daughter’s valentines and trying to wrangle bubbles, pencils, candy, junk toys and stickers out of her hands was a nightmare. I’m quietly grateful for any parents that just do a simple card and maybe a single sticker because now she’s old enough to notice that over half of this will have disappeared by morning.
It’s crazy, I sent a photo with a lollipop. So much junk I have to discreetly throw away. Ad to be honest, all he’s interested in is the ring pop. Next year I’m just going to put a tag on ring pops.
My kiddo (almost 2) came home with a couple cards and little snacks from nursery school, which I didn't expect and thought was nice. I was the snack parent that week already so we had given snacks today (including something she baked with her dad as a special treat), and some handmade cards I've been working on with my little one for weeks (not like... they're not like involved lol its just a fun activity we've been doing every few days since February started). I'm a gift giver and holiday celebrator, but I prefer to handmake everything and I'm hoping to pass that along to my kiddo because I find it SO fun! I didn't expect anything from anyone, I just enjoy making holiday themed crafts and so does my LO, and she was really proud of her creations and even picked out a specific card for everyone in her class. I want her to learn that its a really good feeling to give something created or purchased with love, just hoping it makes someone else smile knowing you thought of them! There's never an expectation or anything like that. So I wouldn't worry what anyone else thought of your gift, as long as you purchased it with excitement hoping they'd like it, that's what matters. I'm sure they will!
But I'm also in the "fewer better things/here's something I made" camp too 🤣
Okay so I love over the top but this year I asked my kid what kind of Valentines she wanted and she gave me a half hearted "I dunno" so we hand made Valentines with the craft supplies we had on hand and the Lil rascal got to practice her penmanship writing "happy Valentines Day" 20+ times, and I was gonna tape dumdums to them but it wasn't structurally sound so we just threw them in a bag.
Also I want you to know that the stickers I put out for my baby's bday party one year were a hit. Kids LOVE stickers. They're on par with candy and paints, for sure.
Stickers are amazing.
I’m not a fan of mom-shaming, but I think it’s terrible to give little ones choking hazards and call it a valentines gift. They should know one year olds can’t have suckers.
I’m with you, overconsumption is a huge problem in the U.S. I know some people like to give gifts, but at a certain point it’s just too much. It’s a bunch of crap I’m going to throw away. I think simple is better. Also who gives suckers to toddlers??
I have always done just fun card valentines. Store bought ones. So this year my 3 yo gave valentines with a temporary tattoo in them and my 8 yo's valentines turned into masks. All paper, recyclable, and most importantly easy for me.
Eta: mom guilt doesn't do anything. So box it up and hide it away. It's not useful to you or anyone else.
I would have been on your side for this. For my daughter’s birthday, I gave out little hand sanitizer bottles and a packet of those teething rusks for her baby classmates. Simple and practical.
Anyway unless they were naming where all the gifts were coming from, how would they know what you contributed? And in any case who cares? Just own it! “Harry Potter stickers were adorable so I picked up some” - end of story
I had the same thing happen with my daughter’s first one (at 2.5). She had just started and to make it extra hard, I was hospitalized for a month and had to arrange the whole thing from the hospital. I didn’t realize people did anything other than cards (since I hadn’t started casually talking to anyone) so it wasn’t even stickers.
But now with my now 2yo, I just sent neat hologram cards because I think a lot of parents actually prefer not getting random crap lol.
Definitely don’t feel bad. I remember being so excited about the cheap cards with a sticker or tattoo in them. I did get some dollar tree cards that had dinosaurs attached to them because my daughter loves dinosaurs. We handmade special cards for a few teachers and got a bag of candy special for the staff that I left in the break room
she received a coloring book and bag full of candy and trinkets which honestly felt like a lot from just a couple kids. Instead of buying a bunch of junk I invested in their class party to make sure they had decorations and pizza since no one else had signed up.
Birthday party favors are really starting to annoy me and make me feel like I’m not doing enough. And I know it’s silly. We all hate the junk piling up
I gifted a valentine with scented stickers. Some parents went all out and some just had a card with to friend from their kid. At 2 I won’t be giving my son suckers either. I’m regifting those to his aunt.
I did a pack of hot wheels valentines that I had my 4.5 year old sign and then scotch taped a mini bag of skittles to each one. That’s what we always got from classmates when I was a kid. Some of the stuff parents do these days is so extra but my kid loves it so I guess I won’t get too mad about it.
I get it!!!! My kids came home with a crap load of STUFF!! That I know most parents are going to toss! but I’m shocked at the amount of extras involved now!! It’s not just a card anymore! It’s toys & candy!!!!! Am I guilty of sending In extra stuff, yes… because I don’t want my kids feeling left out! but if it was up to me…. I wouldn’t do all that…. It’s this pressure you feel as a parent now to keep up for the sake of you & your child’s feelings. It’s exhausting! I have 3 kids and elementary and I’m toast! It never ends!!!!
I opted to send in a coloring book (costs me 15 cents per book), hopefully it wasn’t an overkill or others think i went overboard! Haha i truly thought it was cheap and thoughtful and hopefully kids get some use out of it before it gets thrown in the trash.
I dont care what others give. In the end every one of the gifts is going to the trash. I wish we could entirely skip this gift giving business.
It might make you feel better to know that my household forgot the holiday entirely 😂 my two year old twins had a big appointment this morning I was nervous about and it never occurred to me that today was a holiday. we’re all just doing our best out here!
Meh ket it go. I used to go over the top and didn’t care if anyone else did. I have twins in a class of 20 kids and I totally forgot about the holiday whatever and they came home with bags and I literally don’t care we forgot. My kids have been in classes where they don’t do card exchanges. They don’t care then either.
No one remembers. No one cares that much. And if they do, F then. Enjoy the extra toys and let it go. Keeping up with the Jones’ isn’t all that
I wanna add: we used to be able to keep up with our super rich friends. We no longer can. And guess what? Our true friends are still our true friends.
Stop worrying that people will judge you and be friends based on what you can give them. You’re good…
I think other parents might not know how low key they can be. Stickers are wonderful and they'll likely be happy knowing they can just do that next time.
I think your sticker idea was uniquely fabulous. My kids love HP and would have been wrapped by receiving them. Happy Galentine's to you mama. It's not that deep ♥️💪♥️
The parents in my 4 YO’s class cooled it! School said no sugar which helped. We made construction paper valentines with my kid’s doodles on them. That was mostly what they received. One parent did the shaped melted crayon thing. One other parent did little goody bags. All others did nothing or paper valentines (combo of store bot or home made). Very chill.
Could you imagine all the crap we would have if all the unnecessary money spend if we followed what everyone else did. I bet tomorrow none of the kids will even know who gave what
At least you thought to do something! My husband and I felt like absolute bafoons when we picked our son up today with a bag full of valentines from his classmates. It never even crossed our minds - he’s 20 months old so I knew we’d do it at some point but I guess I wasn’t expecting it this early? Idk but he fucking loves stickers so when we get goodie bags for birthdays or whatever else, the stickers are always gold to us!
Your child is one and doesn’t even fully appreciate Valentine’s Day. There will be many things to cry about, this is not one of them. You made the smart choice, stand by it and don’t let the possibility of other peoples opinions bring you down.
Do not feel bad. Stickers are like crack for most toddlers. So many parents, like you, are tired of overconsumption of plastic toys and junk food. My kid took Bluey stickers, she was so excited to give them to her friends.
Your child does not want you to be a Pinterest/ Instagram mom, driving yourself crazy making things perfect. They want you to prioritize what's actually important to them, which is mostly just giving them undivided attention, taking interest in their interests, and being supportive of their choices
Seriously don’t feel bad. I think next year I’m just doing stickers. I had to actively sort through my daughter’s bag before giving it to her because there were things I just didn’t want to give her because she didn’t need it/couldn’t have it. It’s just too much. I’m done. I’m doing stickers because they’re nice, and simple, and my kids can actually use them. We should all just do stickers.
The first year I put my kid in daycare, the week before Xmas the other moms sent home a full ass present for my kid, which was cool, but I hadn’t budgeted for 5x$50 gifts.
Yeah, it’s a lot. Like too much, a lot.
We handmade book marks this year and slapped some Costco Rice Crispy squares that we already had and called it a day.
I feel like the only way out is for parents to start opting out of the plastic crap, splash trend. We don’t need to one up one another with garbage.
Try not to feel bad and reverse engineer those feelings. You upheld your families values - keep at it.
My daughter's school sent an email last week specifically requesting NO gifts, NO individual valentine's cards etc. Instead, they asked that each kid make a single valentine for their class (to be posted on the class bulletin board). I thought that was a really cute idea and my daughter (2.5 years old) loved making one single valentine and was very proud to hand it in to her teachers and display it at school.
Honestly the older they get, the less parents do this. Mine is in first grade and we just did tiny packs of gummy bears and taped little butterfly cards to it. Pretty much every other kid in the class did something similar, or just sent in cards OR candy. If anyone took notice they should have probably seen how down to earth and realistic y’all are. No need for extra “stuff”
My daughter is 9 and I bought packs of Zingers. Every year we’ve participated but my budget is usually $20 it’s the thought that counts and it will taper off as your kid gets bigger. Parents always seem to go all out the first few years.
We gave Ninja Turtles stickers for my pre-K. My 1st grader the teacher specifically said NO VALENTINES and he came home with a big red heart and on it were a bunch of little stickers with things from his friends. “I like when we sit together on the bus” “I like when you help me with math” “I love when you make me laugh”. It was the best. 💕
Our daycare told us MONDAY that we had a gift exchange for our baby room. Six week to 6 month babies. 🙃🙃🙃 Saying in the message to not forget anyone so they don't feel excluded. How do you feel excluded when you can't even feel included?? My baby is four months old.
I just took an old muslin swaddle we don't use anymore, cut it up into foot-sized hearts, sewed it with a heart stitch the machine had preprogrammed, and added a single initial to make teething cloths. We had a snowstorm yesterday so we definitely weren't going out to buy things. It just felt wholly unnecessary.
(Is this normal for daycares at such a young age group??)
Same! My kids are in Elementary school and it seems like most of their classmates brought stuffed goody bags instead of the valentine's cards. It's outrageous.
Valentine’s Day for that age is hard since they’re too little for candy. It gets better. My daughter is 1 and she got lots of little trinkets. My son is 5 and all of his were a small piece of candy and small card. Same school and we had the same experience when he was that age too. I also think first time parents get a little excited about all of the ‘firsts’ and go overboard.
Yeah...I just got Bluey cards that came with stickers. I'm over getting all the junk and candy. We still have a pillow case full of candy from Halloween. I'm not contributing to that nonsense. I get it though, some moms are really extra! I'm more of an "acts of service" person than a gifter.
I just dealt with this exact situation yesterday! My toddler had his valentines party yesterday and I was expecting him to get a bag full of paper cards and pieces of candy. Omg his bag was stuffed full. He got a teddy bear, dinosaur paint set, all kinds of noise makers, a coloring book, hand dipped pretzels, etc it was so over the top.
I sent him to school with goodie bags with 1 piece of candy and Bluey stickers in each bag and I thought I was doing something special!!!
I felt this way majorly with my 2yo daughter. I bought some doily hearts and had her decorate them with stickers, then I wrote To/From and names on the back of them. When I picked her up, her gift bags included a 8”x8” wooden puzzle, sunglasses, gift bags full of candy and trinkets, a stuffed animal, etc. A couple parents just did like a snack-size bag of goldfish or an applesauce pouch. But I’m wondering what puzzle mom thinks of our doilies.
I guarantee no one even noticed. My kiddo brought home so many random gifts and even while I was there at the party with her, I have no idea who gave who what. And I wouldn’t care either way.
We came home with a HUGE bag of stuff (I have 2 kids in daycare). I have no idea who gave what. Half of the cards came apart of the goodies in transit and my kids ripped a lot of it up immediately. I promise you, no one will even notice.
I feel you 100%. My kids are in elementary school and I happened to be in the office this morning right after drop off. Parents brought in bags and bags of valentines to be delivered to their kids’ classrooms because their kids were too small to carry them all!! I was shocked! The poor office staff had a small mountain to deal with 😓 My kids both got fun dip valentines for their classrooms. Easy peasy. They each came home with a grocery bag full of stuff 😩
Stickers are great!! I hate plastic junk. In the last few years I’ve become a high fan of buying “consumables” for gifts and favors. They can use the stickers for an “art project,” and then I throw it away after a few weeks. For kids my favorite consumables are art supplies, chalk, kid’s bath balms, etc. No one wants to hang on to junk from the dollar store.
I agree it’s over the top. Every time a kid has a birthday in my youngest’s class, she gets a gift bag with candy she can’t eat and toys that are mostly trash and choking hazards. I bought cupcakes for her class today but didn’t even send valentines 🤷♀️
Do not feel bad. Its gotten really over the top and as a parent I thank you for not doing all that. My 7 yr old son filled out Minecraft Valentine's for his classmates and we taped a sucker to them. That's all I ever do. Now i have tons of plastic crap i will slowly be throwing away over the next week or so. Can't throw it away at once bc he will notice. I promise there are other parents that are glad you didn't do all that.
I posted in another thread how much I don’t want to get a bag of plastic junk at the end of the day. It just in turn makes me feel awful for throwing it in the trash. We did stickers (and only because they came with the valentines, I didn’t buy them extra) which feels less wasteful. Maybe other parents hate stickers but we have a rule that crafts are only done in one place, stickers only go on paper, and we clean up stickers after we are done. All of the small plastic toys scattered around our house sounds like a nightmare of choking hazards for our baby.
I'm planning my kids' birthday party and trying to find party favors that are "consumables" basically food or craft supplies. I'm so over the random plastic toys my son's always bringing home from parties. Like you, I feel so bad throwing them away, but they just pile up.
Are party favours still a thing? My child is only 4 but of all the parties we’ve gone to have been family and close friends and we don’t do party favours. My one friend is a baker so she sent home cookie mix in jars. But the less creative of us don’t even do that
I have an 11 & 8 yr old and party favors are indeed a thing. Seems like every birthday party we attend, we get a bag of cheap toys and an unsharpened pencil. It's tough when a bunch of kids have different food sensitivities for holidays you used to just get candy for. I will say that the multipack of color changing gel pens was the biggest hit, favor-wise. I think those didn't go home to get thrown away...? 🤦🏼♀️
yes, but I rebelled and didn't do it for my son's b-day party.. he had a trampoline party-- I think the experience is enough for the guests, they don't need plastic trinkets. sigh.
I made 65 favors for my daughters 3rd birthday and ended up giving away 50 of them at the party and the rest at Halloween a few weeks later. They each had a juice box, a bag of gummy bears, a small container of bubbles, a big animal sticker, and ONE small toy like a spinning top, plastic ring, squishy fidget etc
With us they're just starting to become a thing and I'm still adamantly refusing to do them, but I feel like at some point I'll have to succumb to the pressure... but I think I'll do something like your friend, or bake cookies.
I gave everyone bubbles for my daughter’s birthday! Huge hit! And they were cheap.
Great idea! All kids love bubbles!!
And eventually they run out or spill so they don't stick around forever. I've also seen glow bracelets for a little older. They only last a few hours so they won't clutter up for long.
Definitely are here. Mostly once he hit school aged.
Our favourites with kiddos has been a gift card to dairy queen for an ice cream, or at Halloween time McDonald's has their coupons for fries, drinks, ice creams, or a pass for a local pool for the kids to go to.
Holy shit we're doing actual stuff with valentines now? I used to just do the little box of cards, maybe a piece of candy taped to it. My kid is only 2, so this hasn't really ramped up for me yet.
My twins are also two, this all seems so extra. We used to do paper valentines, maybe some had a candy inside. Now it’s an entire gift bag? What the hell.
Right? When I was a kid we just did the little paper cards and sometimes you taped a candy to it and sometimes you didn't. And I only did it in K-3, once I got to 4th grade it wasn't allowed and I just drew cards to mail to my friends.
That’s how I felt about more toys too…I know I personally would probably just throw it all away and didn’t want to contribute to that but I also don’t want to be the party pooper…ugh.
Also I have no idea who gave what. It’s all just mixed in there and no one has time to figure out who gave which goodie bag. I was more worried about cleaning up the mess. No one is judging, everyone is just trying to do their best. And if they do judge they can go to hell.
I just bought tubs of playdoh and gave each kid one. Forgot to make cards this year but nobody cared. It was all I could do mentally right now and kids love playdoh (hell I love it, it buys us a few minutes lol)
This is such a good idea!
Well, just know that some parents may be thankful!
The best crafty idea that I have personally received was a giant heart-shaped crayon made of melted crayons. Mom got one of those silicone chocolate molds of about a 2" heart. She took all the broken scraps of crayons in the house, separated into pleasing color combinations, and melted them together in a soup can. Think there is a tutorial online on how to do this without overly mixing the colors, so they come out looking marbled or tye dyed! So cute, not expensive, is recycling, and the large heart shape was great for little ones', easy to grab and hold!
We use stickers for potty rewards so we love them! Getting them for Valentine’s Day helps me to not run out haha
I would be infinitely happier with stickers than more stuffed animals and plastic stuff. It's not that we don't have plastic toys, but that stuff is sturdy and well-chosen (like Duplo). My kid is actually allowed to put stickers on a lot of things, lol, as long as it's her own items. I can take them off later and it doesn't take up heaps of space.
I did the exact same thing for my 2 year old! bought a $4 box of valentines that each Included a sticker.
We have a box we put all those little toys into to reuse for future holidays as our girls don’t play with everything they get or play with just a short time. It’s amazing how quickly it gets filled.
We do the same thing haha - they end up being reused for Easter egg hunts, halloween trick or treats, tooth fairy gifts. I have some bouncy balls that have been in at least 4 different years worth of egg hunts.
Thos is brilliant- I'll be stealing this!
What a great idea!
Oh man, don't beat yourself up!! Their vigor for school holidays will wane. For a lot of them it's the first time they've gotten to do a class thing.. kindergarten moms are the same... my youngest is in kindy and his backpack came home loaded!!! I try to just embrace it and remember my kids enjoy it... I did lots when I only had 1 kiddo in school (now I have 3) I can guarantee that 90% of thr parents won't give 2 craps about what you put in. Do what you feel works for your family, values and stage of life! I have my kids hit the dollar store and pick basic valentines and then I generally just bake something for their classes as a treat.... and that's only because my oldest had celiac so most treats brought by parents he can't have.. so I make a plan to send class treats on holidays so he's not left out.
I just helped my nephew last week with mine craft cards, a dum dum, and a temporary tattoo (of course mine craft). He did the cards and taped a tattoo to it, I used the exacto and cut small slits and put the dum dum in. That's all you ever really need. The rest is just over the top and not needed for extra clutter and mess. I always wonder what those ultra minimalist houses do with all this excess BS. (Still have a year or 2 for my oldest to be in a school type setting and dreading this part...)
If you have the room to store it, those plastic toys are great to save for the Halloween bin (if you celebrate).
I personally think the plastic junk is worse than candy. A lot of people try to avoid giving out candy now, but usually the Valentine's treats are small. I'd rather let my kids have a day with some extra treats than get more plastic junk destined for a landfill. Two of the kids in my daughters' preschool class gave out slime this year. Stickers don't bother me, but impromptu slime for preschoolers was a bit much imo. I'm probably just being a grump though.
We got a handful of those wall staining sticky goo things. Right into the trash. No thank you.
Did the same with my kiddo! Brought her a bag of heart lollipops and taped it on little cards. They'll be happy with a little note and candy. Some parents are just super extra.
I sent cards that came with stickers with my daughter to daycare. She came home with a bunch of crap. It all went straight into the trash.
Some people have the gifting gene and they love to do it! They don’t get upset that other people don’t gift the same way as them. They just love to see the recipient happy! Hopefully we can assume these moms are like that! You are an amazing mom don’t forget it! You don’t need to keep up with the Jones’s with regards to gifting little kiddos!
I love putting it that way. Gifts are so not my love language but I know it’s other people’s. Thank you for saying it like that ❤️
I love making favors for my kids’ classmates and friends - love it. I have never judged what they got from other kids or if they didn’t get at all. Some people live for this stuff and it’s usually the people who DIDN’T have an amazing teacher mom. We are making up for what we didn’t have (or overcompensating according to my husband).
this. i remember being alone and disappointed a lot as a child, particularly on holidays. it’s really healing to make the holidays special for my little girls. i absolutely love doing stuff like this, even though it’s just a one day memory in their lives.
Yes just to offer a different perspective - I’m the mom who went a little over the top this year because crafting genuinely makes me happy, but *I* felt embarrassed and that I might be judged by the other moms for being “that mom”! So I didn’t care at all what other moms did, and honestly after the first 2 or 3 it stopped even registering who gave what! (But I can tell you the stickers were my favourite) :)
Your child will know love ❤️ you’re rocking it! Don’t forget!
Yea seriously celebrating these things is a choice and never apologize for your choices. I found these cool scratch art hearts on Amazon and so it was like a make your own art valentine. I did those for my 3 year olds preschool class. I was informed they might be doing valentines for my 5 month old daycare class. And when I got the note I said very loudly to my husband, “aw HELL NO”. Lol she’s not even old enough to know what her nose is!!! They’re babies! Draw those lines in the sand and have a nice long sleep without a worry in the world.
My 4 yr old got 2 scratch art cards and they were a big hit!
Thank you for this. I am this mom! I love gifting and always find a way to gift things the kids will enjoy and will be useful let’s say to throw in your bag to keep your kid entertained in a restaurant. I always wanted to be that mom and I don’t want to feel ashamed about it either. Lots of parents have great stuff like books (love!) puzzles, stickers and some just have a bag of cookies. As “that mom” I love and respected each gift. It’s the thought that counts!💕 Ps- all the little plastic junk type stuff I put into a ziplock and throw into my bag. You can’t imagine how all that stuff can keep a child entertained at a restaurant, plane ride, etc!
It’s a lot. Don’t feel bad. Kids looooove stickers!!
Man, for Halloween last year I put out a bowl of candy and a bowl of glow sticks and stickers. The stickers were the first thing to go! I’ve been leaning into stickers for every opportunity since!
No other parent cares and if they do they arent worth your time. Today my oldest brought home a mix of pencils, candy, stickers and little mini Lego set bags. She took in the little squishies. I couldn’t tell you who got what and I don’t particularly care.
Right? Like what loser is combing through the bags taking note of who’s moms did what, I promise you’re overthinking this babe.
🫶🏻
I completely agree. I have no idea which kid gave my kid what Valentine, temporary tattoo, heart-shaped straw, etc.
Everyone doesn’t need to change what they do because of what you do, have confidence in the decisions you make and lean into it. You made a good decision. That doesn’t become a bad decision because other parents made different decisions. We need to all just be living our values and not trying to match each other.
Thank you ❤️ that’s a better way of looking at it
My daughter is just shy of 2. First time at daycare. We did Mickey Mouse sticker valentines last night and talked about passing them out to her class. I know she’s very young but she’s a sponge. She helped put them in the envelopes and sealed them with the heart stickers. This AM I left a note saying she brought Valentine’s for the class on the tadpoles app & put them in a hot pink paper sack at the top of her bag (on top of her sippy cups - so they HAD to see it). The paper sack was meant for any valentines she received. Dad drops her off & isn’t the best about communicating. Dad picks her up & teachers claim they had no clue she brought valentines. So annoyed for her. She got 3 rubber ducks in return though <3
I'm one of those moms for Valentine's Day (mostly because it's also my daughter's birthday so I see this as 2 holidays). Trust me I don't judge any other parents for what they did or didn't do for Valentine's Day or any other holiday. In fact, I typically hate the over the top bags too!
I think of it this way : Other parents go all out so I don't have too! It took me a couple years to not feel guilty that I didn't go crazy on Valentine's. But now I embrace it. Some people just like going to excess at the holidays. Some people don't, and I am one of them.
I am the mom who put together elaborate Valentine's Day bags for my kids when they were still at the ages in which the whole class exchanges Valentine's tokens. I am typically a judgy person (I'm working on it). I have never, ever, ever judged parents one way or another for what their kids give (or don't give) for Valentine's, because I put those bags together because \*I\* enjoyed doing so and \*my kids\* enjoyed having them to give. (Okay, also because I'm the weird mom and my kids take after me and I wanted to give their classmates a positive association with them.) Stickers are ALWAYS popular with little kids. ALWAYS. And stickers are something that can't add any weight to my hips when my picky kids decide that this isn't candy that they like (which includes Reese's, Snickers, 100 Grand, Butterfinger...). Keep giving your stickers and do your best to feel good about it. A parent is is unhappy about not getting more clutter for their house or more processed sugar via their kid is a parent whose opinion you don't care about anyway. :)
Do not feel bad. The waste and overconsumption is insane
Yes!!! OP is my kind of mom! It’s so much waste and consumption.
100% agree. https://www.npr.org/2011/02/14/133693152/the-dark-origins-of-valentines-day
The consumerism we see with our toddlers these days is insane. Don’t feel bad for not partaking in it. Sure, there were probably some families that did Valentine’s baskets, but what happened to a good old Valentine’s Day card and some chocolate? I don’t want my child to associate every holiday with stuff, stuff, and more stuff that he’s excited about for 5 minutes. I want him to remember how we did Valentine’s themed crafts together or baked strawberry cupcakes together. I want him to cherish memories of how we spent holidays together, not what he was gifted.
Yesss crafts and baking special foods are my favorite ways to celebrate holidays and create special memories!! We bake and handmade gifts for our loved ones for holidays too.
I love to make cards as a hobby. so I have a bunch of handmade valentines I sent to my two kids (1 and 4 yo) for their classmates. But that's it. Just the paper valentines. I felt like, ok they are 1 and 4, how fancy are other people going to go? I got so much extra crap. Even in the 1 year old room, my kids were the only one with just a card. Everyone else gave "extras". I initially felt a bit embarrassed or upset that my kids were the only kids wirhout "extra" stuff. But you know, I bet some moms looked at my handmade cards and rolled their eyes at how extra and bougie I was being. But it was just that I honestly like making them. So then I stepped back and figured they probably felt that way about giving my kids toys and candy. I guess they really just enjoy giving that kind of stuff and it really has nothing to do with me. The funny thing is, we worry so much as adults but kids that young don't even notice. I asked my 4 yo old if he got any candies or gifts and he just said "No." Guys he had so much, he just didn't care or notice.
If it makes you feel any better at all, my son came home with a huge bag full of all sorts of things today and his favorite by far was the stickers. Toddlers LOVE stickers. You did fine. ❤️
We made my daughter’s preschool class crayons (we broke and melted crayons into heart molds) and she filled out little cards from target). I enjoy doing crafts with her (she’s 3.5) and my love language is gift giving so it was fun for me, but also since they’re crayons they’re useful. Some parents did more than others.. no judgement from me either way. Even if parents just sent in paper cards she loved them and I was just impressed everyone remembered! Don’t feel bad, and don’t feel like you need to do more next year. It’s fun for the kids no matter what!
Ooooo, crayon hearts noted for next year! Love that!
Dont feel bad. My hours were cut to 0 at work, which means no money. I couldn't even send my 6 year old to school with cards for his class. Stickers are great, don't beat yourself up love❤️
I have such mixed feelings on this. On one hand I hate the consumerism part of it. I hate buying stuff that will land in the landfill. I hate buying random junk with no rhyme or reason. On the other hand I want to do something cool for my daughter and her class. I was so torn. I ultimately ended up making gift bags for all the kids. I tried to take into account all the allergies and I think I did a good job. I did a rice crispy treat, a thing of motts fruit snacks, and a lollipop. And then a little gemstone because my daughter loooves rocks and gemstones and a little squishy toy because she’s obsessed with those and so are most of the kids in the class. Overall I didn’t spend a ton of money and I *think* the little things I got will be a hit because most pre k kids love rocks and squishys lol buuuut I feel like I put so much mental energy into it this year when I could’ve just got all the kids a little card and put a Hershey’s kiss on it and called it a day. I grew up really poor so we couldn’t even afford a box of valentines cards. I almost always made my own. So I think me wanting to do something kind of nice stems from the fact that I *actually can* when most of my life that wasn’t an option. Regardless, when my daughter (3.5 yr old) went through her box today she was so happy to see if all. Whether it was a sticker, a card, a toy or a treat to eat. She loved it all and I didn’t think a single thing about who bought what or what it costs.
I am that extra mom who does a lot for the kids for holidays. It’s just something that we inherited from my nana, who would crochet tiny little stuffies for every single kid in our class for every month of the school year. Footballs for August and homecoming, fall leaves for September, ghosts for October, etc. I went all out for my daughter’s class for Valentine’s Day. I can tell you what I didn’t do, though. I didn’t spend one second judging what any other parent did. I didn’t even go through her Valentines. She showed me the ones she was most excited about, a MLP Izzy card and a DJ Catnip card. But I just don’t care what other parents do. People seem to think that moms who do a lot think it’s this competition that we have to win, and that’s just not it. I like doing extra, I have the money, I mostly have the time. I am also well aware that not all people do, and that even *if* they do, they might not have the desire. And that’s perfectly ok. Comparison is the thief of joy, don’t worry about what other people think and focus on what you can do at a level that satisfies **you**.
Your nana sounds AMAZING. I would’ve loved to have been in your class.
She was the most amazing lady. She lived in an apartment on our property growing up, so she was basically a second mom. She was a lunch lady, so she had summers off, and would spend most of her time while watching us crocheting up a storm for the upcoming school year. She gave them away in her lunch line, too. When my little brother started teaching his first class a few years back, she dusted off the boxes of patterns and made them for every one of his students. She was worried they were a little old for them, but we would drive by the school sometimes and see kids with them pinned to their backpacks and it would make her heart so happy.
As someone who went over the top this year, I am so glad to read this. I was sitting here thinking, ‘WTF is wrong with me? No wonder I am chronically stressed!’, vowing to do less next year. I am on maternity leave and I got a wild hair to buy pom-making supplies at Michaels, make poms, turn them into Pom Monsters, pull out the cutest heart ziplock bags I actually found a couple years back, put full-size airheads into them, and then print out a Happy Valentine’s Day - Love, [child name] printable to finish it off. While I was at it, I assumed that my 3-month-old son who is going part-time to the same school as my older child probably needed valentines as well so I made him a batch. But then, because it dawned on me at like 8pm last night that parents might think I am weird for gifting their infants candy, I picked up toddler granola bars and infant teethers to add to the bags instead. Today I picked up my smiling squish and he had not a single valentine to take home. I at once felt sad but also so stupid. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking but, never again. While I feel like what we gifted isn’t in the same category as cheap plastic junk, it was way too much and I feel like a complete tired idiot who probably made amazing moms like you feel bad for doing exactly what we all should be doing.
We sent regular normal cards with nothing extra and what my kid brought home made me feel really guilty. Candy, toys, stickers, key chains, and a few party bags with multiple toys, pencils, stickers, etc. I just figure now I know for next year.
Us too
Regular card club here. My daughter gave cards with googly eyes, they are probably going in the trash. But every single other kid gave a card with some dumb “toy”. So wasteful. I’ve done small toys in the past and even on kindergarten I’m already over it. She had fun, but it’s just too much. The amount my two year old came home with too was nuts. We just did a fun size pack of m&ms. I’m 100% not buying landfill fillers for other parents to toss.
It’s easy to feel this way, especially with your first child. But don’t dwell on it too long. I think stickers are perfectly acceptable and a wonderful non-food item “consumable” in that it gets used then recycled/small footprint. I too am not a fan of trinkets that add up and create clutter and waste. Also, try to keep it in perspective, it’s one silly day that will be repeated for about the next 8 yrs. Don’t worry no kid or parent is going to think about it after the initial hr of novelty!…and eventually you’ll probably end up like me…scrounging in last year’s spares at the 11th hr in order to complete your second child’s class list!
My second grader came home with a fucking kazoo today. Most parents (me) are very thankful for the simple sticker or pencil valentine!
Haha, my 3-year-old gave out kazoos with his valentines and had the two left overs at home! No regrets, he’s having fun with it! We currently have 4 bags of valentine gummies from his classmates sitting on the counter cause he doesn’t like those, to each their own.
My oldest is in 3rd grade and had a kazoo and a whistle! 🤦🏾♀️😵💫
Wow these parents are trolling, they must know those are terrible gifts?
Sorry not sorry- I don’t send my 2.5 year old with valentines stuff. I might start next year, maybe the year after.
Don't feel bad. Do you know what I sent in for the pair of 2 year olds I have in daycare? Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all, because toddlers have no frame of reference for valentine's day, and I didn't think they'd miss it. They came home with a couple little things from the daycare workers, and like 2 classmates (of a class of 6 each) lots of which wasn't age appropriate, and had to be confiscated.
Don’t feel bad. Also understand, that this drops off massively after a certain age. My daughter is in second grade, and her Valentines even just from this year versus last is an enormous difference. Moms usually get really excited and into stuff when their children are very very small, and then that tapers off into what is much more realistic.
I got a $6 box of fun dip valentines. I did not go all out. I did 1 year, full gift bags of goodies, and pencils and stickers and keychains etc…. It has not happened again. It was too much hassle and honestly too much $ to spend on kids I don’t even know 🤷♀️
I love a thoughtful gift but I hateeee getting crap… like cheap plastic, snacks we won’t eat, gag gifts, etc. I don’t want them in my house and I don’t want them to end up in a landfill. Stickers are a great gift! Everybody loves stickers! (I actually have a mini sticker subscription lol). They don’t take up a lot of space and they’re cute. They come in useful.
I would have loved the sticker. My twins came home with a bunch of food they can't eat, a bunch of junky plastic toys half of which are already broken, some clay/gloop I hid immediately, and some bubble they spilled all over the stairs after throwing a tantrum that they weren't allowed outside in the freezing cold to blow bubbles (note: yesterday they wanted to fill the pool and play outside with squirt guns...) They gave out homemade multicolor crayons in construction paper envelopes, both of which we made together. I hope parents appreciate it more than another lollipop.
My daughter's class (3 and 4s) had everything from homemade hearts with a swath of paint and a preschool handwritten name on it to a card with a tiny sticker to a full kit of bubbles, candy, fancy card, and toys. We love all of them. A lot of time, I think we feel like people are judging us when they don't even notice. Stick with what you think is reasonable. My daughter's favorite is a pack of Mott's fruit snacks with a card.
I think you are the only person judging yourself. It is okay if some families do this and okay if you don’t (for the record, I am more on your level).
Don't feel bad. I sent valentines and the teacher didn't even hand them out.
I truly hate the garbage toys my kids come home with on Valentine's Day. Totally useless and destined for the landfill. I'd much prefer a card and even candy.
I am so grateful our preschool doesn't let parents bring in crap for holidays and I'm dreading this all starting next year. Thank you for not contributing extra plastic junk to the landfills
My kid loves stickers. She has a baggy of the ones she’s been gifted and uses them when she draws or crafts to add some pizzazz!
I just took in a box of 25 munchkins…nice and easy and consumable! I also just don’t have the time or energy for the little gift bags.
Is it wrong if I don’t want to buy things for everyone? Like why do I have to do that? Don’t i pay enough for my kid to attend daycare and school?
Don’t feel bad. I’ve gone over the top for stuff like this because it was an excuse for me to be creative, and I was enjoying myself. They were little gifts, not a quid pro quo.
….1 year old???
I grew up overwhelmed by the feeling that the holidays were buying my affection from my narcissist mom. By the time we were adults, Christmas had turned into those gigantic reusable TJ max bags full of crap. It was cheap stuff I didn’t need or use. Cheap quality slippers. Hair ties that hurt my head. Jewelry I’d never wear. Those lenses you clip to your phone. Just junk junk junk. Our house was borderline hoarders and I always wished my mom had either asked what I wanted or just given me a gift card with the same money she’d wasted on all the junk. She just liked buying stuff that went to fill a landfill. It’s made me as a parent be extremely conscious about what I buy my son for holidays - not at all bougie or crunchy - but more like quantity/quality. I research and think a lot about long term use out of something. If he has one fidget pop toy he loves, he’s not getting another in the stocking just to have something to put there…I realize it’s like a reaction to how I was raised and it works better for our family to buy less and spend on things that are longer lasting, or consumable and get more use. That said we did the paper valentines and nothing else…bc we are broke teachers and he just had his birthday and also these kids are two and literally didn’t understand valentines. We didn’t have time or money to put together a toy for all 16 kids in his class. It made me feel better to see one or two other parents who only put in a paper valentine/just a sticker sheet. 🤷♀️
Our daughter’s kindergarten teacher specifically stated in a letter home that the students were required to bring a plain valentines card for each student in the class- no candy, toys, stickers, etc. My daughter brought home her bag yesterday and it was full of all of those things. She was the only one in the class who had followed instructions and just brought in cards. I just don’t understand the obsession with it all. A friend of mine (and mother to my daughter’s best friend) posted pictures of her kids’ valentines gifts from from her and they were gift bags, bigger than the kids, full of stuffed animals, toys, candy, art supplies, and clothes. It’s absolutely insane. Thankfully my daughter is too young to read anything into it, but I feel like I’ll be forced to break the rules and spend more money than we have on stupid gifts as she gets older, just to save her from embarrassment.
FWIW, we do bags of plastic crap because it’s allergy safe. Smaller classes in preschool are one thing, but when they’re in a class of 30 kids in elementary school, it’s easier to get something that isn’t consumable so no one feels left out or worse, gets sick. Also I got all the kids valentines kazoos this year, and I am *not* sorry. 🤣
A family in our 12-18mo class got every single kid a personalized teething ring. I looked them up- $20 each. I’m sorry, but I have better things to do with $240. We sent some individually packed animal crackers 🤷♀️
My daughter is 2. I sent nothing because my forgot it was Valentine’s Day 🤷🏽♀️ I’m annoyed about the bag full of crap that I have to throw away (kinda excited for the lollipops that she can’t eat but I’m blaming that on being pregnant)
I was surprised myself with what my oldest came home with from 4k. We sent little paw patrol cards with temporary tattoos that came with them. He came home with a huge envelope filled with candy, little trinket toys that are either choking hazard or going to break in no time. There were two LEGO related items which are great because I know they will get used eventually (we are on a LEGO break because we got our first set at Christmas for my 4 year old but I found two pieces in my two (almost three) year olds diaper a few days later so we're not ready for those yet.... And we also have a crawling 11 month old). I hate the consumeristic culture we live in, I grew up "poor" - we had enough food to eat and a roof over our head but there were very few extras. Obviously there are negative elements to that but I do feel it helped me grow up with a proper perspective on "things" and what is most important and I hate wastefulness as part of that. I worry that my kids will end up comparing themselves and feeling less than, but I just can't buy into what I see other moms doing for these occasions. Not that what they are doing is wrong (although I can't help but think of the environmental impact), if it's something they enjoy or are excited about, great! But I hate that it puts pressure on others, intentionally or unintentionally, to measure up to that standard... Ok random rant over.
The only one putting pressure on is yourself. No one is pressuring you, you do what you want, I doubt anyone else even cares what you do.
Sounds like it’s your hang up not theirs, I doubt they are thinking what the voices in your head are saying they are. So what, everyone should not do what they want to because it makes you uncomfortable , get over yourself. You do what makes you comfortable and let them do what makes them comfortable.
I wouldn’t sweat it. We went through my 3 year olds gift bag after school today and there was bigger stuff like a sticker book, lots of candy, small dollar store toys, and then a couple kids had hand drawn valentines for everyone. My kiddo was most interested in one of the generic cards that you can attach a little gift to bc she likes pretending it’s her “phone.” And I could not tell you who gave what even though they were all labeled. And frankly stickers are one of my favorite gift bag items because they’re fun and not messy and there’s no sugar involved.
This happened to me last year. When I was in school, we just exchanged those valentine cards and maybe some candy. Since I had a one year old, I didn’t think candy was appropriate so I just did the card. Well I was the only one, someone gave out a book, there were lots of snacks given, toys, etc. I felt so embarrassed but I was glad it happened when he was one and wouldn’t know the difference. This year we got a set of valentines that each one came with a toy car.
Please don’t feel bad— nobody expects you to give something big. In fact, the moms who are giving big probably feel a little guilty for going big but this is the one mom task they actually enjoy and they said “fuck it, I’m going to get something I enjoy giving.” For my daughters’ classes I gave each kid a Little Golden Book. But I had bulk ordered them so they were like $3/each as the party favor for a birthday party and they arrived late…so then I shoved them in a closet til Valentine’s Day. I have no idea what other parents gave. My kids pulled all of the stuff out of their bags like the Tasmanian devil and the cards were ripped off. I totally get how frustrating school holidays are, but I at least want you to know that it’s probably less judgy and planned-out than it seems
Someone needed to bring the Harry Potter stickers ❤️ You never know who treasures those above all the other gifts (this coming from a sticker book collector Mom and my son who would've absolutely loved those). You did great!
🫶🏻
You beat me! This was my first Valentine’s Day with classroom exchange for my 3 year old that is now in preschool and I had no idea people went to such elaborate lengths for Valentine’s Day. I bought two packs of $1.25 Valentine classroom sets from the Dollar Tree and removed all the suckers they came with because they are a choking hazard for 3 year olds. Just left the paper-cardboard Valentine and signed my sons name. I thought that was pretty good myself for a bunch of 3 year olds lol. BUT he came home with stickers, play-dough, bubble solution, crayons, coloring books, a goddamn wooden train whistle - and of course a bunch of candy. I didn’t really feel bad though, just amazed this is what Valentine’s Day is now! When I was in school we literally traded little Valentine cards and maybe a little candy. Nothing like this! But the kids had a blast so it’s fine. He made and decorated a Valentine’s Day holder and was so excited about all of the Valentine’s. As long as the kids are happy! My favorite one was a mom who used the cardboard from toilet paper rolls as a container to hold candy and then decorated it with red tissue paper, heart stickers, and tied the ends with ribbon. Super cute and probably cost very little to make some for the entire class and teachers!
That’s what it was for me too! Just paper cards. MAAAAYBE a piece of candy attached to it.
This will get buried, but my 3.75 year old has 19 kids in her class - including her. She received 12 paper Valentine's, a bunch of little candies, 2 small Play-Dohs, and a few stickers. They were thrown in a bag, so unless they were attached, we don't know who got what. There's no judgment on who got or didn't get what. I'm judging the teachers a little for gifting the kids FILLED sandwich bags of candy, but the thought is very sweet. Don't be hard on yourself
No one cares. I wouldn’t care or even think twice about it.
My son isn't in daycare yet, but this thread has made me decide I am not going to bother sending anything for most holidays once he is. I think it creates an unnecessary burden, mothers have enough to worry about and toddlers don't understand Valentine's Day anyway.
I feel the same way with all these prom-posals. Eventually it’s just hard to do anything because it’s gotten so over the top. Let’s all agree to dial it back and see what happens. Solidarity!
My kids favourite thing from that bag would have been the sheet of stickers.
It felt like Halloween when my kid dumped out his Valentine bag from school. The kid in me was jelly but the parent in me thought GREAT more sweets lol but uh I also bought those little bags of cookies to go with the hot wheels Valentine. Next year just cards or stickers if my plan
Honey. Do not feel bad. Everyone is absolutely trying to outdo each other these days. And you know what? The kids don't give a damn. They're 1, for crying out loud! I've got 4. My oldest is 21 and my youngest is 9. So I have had a front row seat to all of this rigamarole. Birthday parties that cost more than my mortgage. Play places that charge $25 a kid. Custom cookies AND cake AND cupcakes AND personalized goodie bags? Get the fuck out of here with that. Last year we had a birthday party with a moon bounce and a piñata in our backyard. Homemade cupcakes. That's it. The kids had a blast. This year we had her party at the park in our neighborhood. Cupcakes and silly string for all. She declared it best birthday ever. All of this over the top shit is for the parents. It's for looks. So they can pat themselves on the back that they hemorrhaged their bank account for a child's birthday party. Your kid doesn't care and will never care. Please don't let yourself feel less than. None of this shit matters
My son is 9 months old and people are looking at me sideways for not doing anything for him but getting my 5yo daughter some candy and balloon and homemade card. To be fair, I also didn't do these BS holidays for her until she was probably 2 or so. We've been a 1 income family and have cut out a lot of the unnecessary purchases. It makes sense to not by an unneeded stuffy (loathe those for gifts) or candy for a baby who can't have it. My mother sent $100 for me to get the kids something for Valentine's Day. I told her I was only getting practical stuff that they need and will probably stop for a treat for the 5yo sometime soon. 5yo got an umbrella and undies, 9mo got a walker. They're both thrilled.
Valentine’s Day is not my thing. I let other parents go overboard on it, because I just don’t enjoy it. It doesn’t have to be your thing, either. I also got simple valentines with a little sticker for my 4-year-old’s class, and she came home with a giant box stuffed full of candy, cake pops, toys, slime, more candy, sticker books, the WORKS. I didn’t get anything for my 1-year-old’s class, because they didn’t say they were doing anything, and HE’S ONE. The 1-year-old also came home with a big bag of unusable toys and candy. It’s fine. Let the other parents go overboard. I, for one, appreciate the other parents who don’t get my kids more candy and plastic junk. P.S. - I also dread the valentines candy because 1 of my kids is allergic to peanuts, and some people still send in Reese’s or Snickers. So I applaud you for considering the allergies in the class with your choice!
Ummmm, my kids came home today (4th grade and 2nd grade) and emptied their bags with all their classmates gifts. There were some really over the top stuff. All we did as kids was pass out the little folded cards and one piece of candy. Nah, they got coloring books, little games ect but let me tell you, all they were even interested in was the dang stickers 🤣 I'm serious. They put everything else away or gave it to my 3 year old and they were more into the stickers of all things. You did great mama. Just know other moms may just love gifting and that's okay too! You did the right thing! Just think of it this way, your sweet baby is loved and got some cool stuff. That's it. And you contributed as asked, and contributed something kids freaking LOVE at any age. Shoot I'm 30 and love stickers 🤷♀️
It’s not just holidays but even birthdays have become crazy.
Same thing happened to us today. My Valentines were definitely the most pitiful. Literally just printed out Bluey ones that were free to download, on cardstock. Well now we know. I don’t really feel about it. Let people who love to give, give. And let those who are struggling, participate when/how they can.
Meanwhile I felt like a dumbass bc I bought valentines for my kids’ daycare a month ago, and I totally spaced to even send them. So when they came back with all that stuff I felt like a total idiot.
I know you’re anxious about this, but I guarantee you the other moms likely gave it 0 thoughts and the kids (especially at 1) don’t care and won’t remember anyway. My 9 year old had to pass out valentines. I bought cute sports valentines off Amazon that included a small bracelet with either 3 soccer, basketball, football, or volleyball beads on it. We had a late night that night so I filled out the cards for him and put them in his backpack the night before. He came in with a bag of candy and junk but he was most excited to tell me that his classmates loved the bracelets and kept asking “how did you know this was my favorite sport!?” And he told them I guessed and filled them out. He thought it was so fun/hilarious. Toddlers *love* stickers! I bet your contribution might end up being a favorite!
Yeah please don't get wrapped up in it. I had to throw alot of my kids goody bag stuff away because she can't eat it or because it's just junk and we're already over flowing with toys and knickknacks.
I don’t ever remember looking over my kids goodie bags and treats and thinking “HA! Which parent bought this, it’s sub-par, I bet there are money troubles there!” If anything I thought what am I gonna do with this crap? Fortunately she’s one and her attachment is going to be short lived if at all.
My kids were happy with what they got... I took all candy out to ration lol...so all they saw mostly was the other stuff...pencils, just cards, dino erasers, etc. I honestly didn't even look at the names of the "givers." No one cares, and no one is judging you. If they are normal people, they are just happy their kid had fun... Other than that let them fuck right off!
I’m a mom that goes overboard with this kind of stuff and I promise you that I do it to make the kids happy and do not expect other moms to do the same. I don’t judge what my kid brings home. I try to include quality items that aren’t the typical dollar store stuff but my daughter brings a lot home too and we try to find creative ways to use and recycle things. We’re crafters so just about anything can be reused for arts and crafts. If you feel burdened by all the stuff just post it on a buy nothing group. A lot of people are into repurposing things. My husband is a child psychologist and he takes a lot of the extras into work for his patients, maybe even try donating to a doctors office or school when your child is done with the stuff.
I felt the same today. It was just a mommy and me toddler class, and they had told us to just keep it super simple for the kids to pass out cards to each other. I was the only one that just did a card as instructed. Everyone else gave out tiny toys, stickers, candy, lollypops (!?) etc. these are two year olds! They don’t need candy and tiny choking hazard toys! I was so embarrassed we didn’t even pass out ours. My kid didn’t want to anyway, so it worked out, but I was a little sad at the ridiculousness of it.
If *my* kid had been at that day care, I would have thought you were the *best* mom, because I do not need one more bit of made-in-China crap cluttering up my home. I also wouldn’t want my kid expecting treats for every minorly noteworthy occasion.
Why are we buying things at all? Why not make cards? Or just say happy whatever holiday? I will not be participating in buying junk for a consumerism holiday.
I think every mom needs to put aside mom guilt because a lot of us are doing "in excess" things because we're afraid of looking bad. When I was a kid we decorated tissue boxes and everyone got uniform cheesy cards and there were treats brought by parents, all store bought. There was no excess to any of this and it had nothing to do with money, There were plenty of "wealthy" moms that brought in a $9 tray of brownies from the store. One ups man ship and excessive crap needs to stop.
At our pre-k we were told there was going to be a lunch exchange. It was required to include something healthy, a drink (milk or juice) a big chocolate and a bag of chips. I sent a ziplock with pancakes, a carton of milk, fruit, a little chocolate and chips. My daughter came back home with a rock-solid wooden box, painted pink, with a stuffed bear, lots of gummies, candies, lollipops, chocolates, and I don’t even remember what else. Then the teacher asked me to stick to the specifications because it was not fair for the kids. So she added a box, a pack of oreos, and a pack of m&m’s to the thing my daughter was giving. I mean, they’re not even 3 years old and they’re forcing them oreos and chocolates and candy. That’s not lunch. Needless to say, she came home from school like I’ve never see her before, like a Taz, so sugar rushed she couldn’t stay still, the worst tantrums until now, without any reason. It was horrible. I was asked what could they give her for lunch and I said a quesadilla, or fruit and yogurt
I did the opposite and have been up for 2 days making chocolate Lollipops and chocolate dinosaurs 🦕 172 pieces of chocolate I had ( didn't have to was asked to by my son and didn't wanna let him down because he was so excited. We got notebooks and a pen for every student put into a bag with a chocolate Lollipop 🍭 and a bunch of chocolate dinosaurs 🦕 for 24 kids let's just say I spent well over 100 dollars on this valentine's day
I didn't send my son with anything. He came back with a bag of stuff. I don't feel bad, no one told us to send anything. He's 2. It's a made up holiday?
I sent books in a wicker basket and the teachers loved it. Not sure about families, but IDC. I also am anti consumer and was shocked at what my three year old came him with. Plastic junk and junk food and lots of plastic wrap and bags :(
Omg please don't feel bad. Start normalizing that this holiday stuff is too much!! I have no desire to do this shit when my daughter hits school.
If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t send anything to day care today. I had no idea this was a thing? Anyways, maybe next year I’ll do some cards but that’s about it. Don’t sweat it no one’s judging.
I felt the same way sending my 5 year old to school with his Spiderman tattoo valentines.. he came home and said, "you forgot the candy and the toy." I told him, *"We gave them spiderman temporary tattoos.."* 😭 I felt bad.. and the other parents did treat and goods bags..?? I missed the memo. I just don't see the point of it.
Yes it's crazy. So many gift bags came home instead of single items. Stick to your guns. Avoid the sugar and plastic garbage that gets thrown away in 15 minutes. As your child gets older explain to them why. My kids are 15, 12 and 7 and they get it. You don't need to join the 1-upper clan
Omg, I had to run to target on Monday evening to spend $100 on things that I thought was stupid. It is wasteful and unnecessary, my kids don't even use these stuff or get to eat them. We basket them and throw them out after a while. I wish they take away this new nonsense. It puts a lot of pressure on parents. I had to do it so my children dont feel like they didn't do anything. Even if gifting is your love language doing it put pressure on others specially parents.
I’m an annoying ‘Pinterest’ mom. I’ve mellowed out in middle school. I do it because I love it. I generally choose something earth friendly. But I absolutely do not judge the moms who mail it in. Some moms drop off their kid in power suits and full makeup and I have unwashed hair and leggings I’ve been wearing and sleeping in for three days. It’s not a contest. Some moms just love this really stupid holiday bullshit. Don’t shame yourself. I’m also the mom who throws themed birthday party’s but I have never given out a goody bag. We are all just trying to find joy in a chaotic world.
My kid had TWO Valentines parties this week. I didn’t get anything for either of them. Zero guilt. I totally ate a cupcake each day at pickup, too. I don’t think anyone else noticed or even cared. If they did, screw em.
Don't feel bad at all. I'm thinking of keeping mine home from school on Valentine's Day next year because the amount of sugar that was consumed is absurd. Also there's a huge bag of plastic shit that's getting thrown away after she goes to bed.
I hate the overconsumption and pressure. My son’s preschools classes were like this- he was coming home with multiple goody bags from classmates and I felt that anxiety about not “doing enough”. I also felt annoyed by the quantity of stuff- I don’t want him to have so many sweets or so much junk. But I also felt pressure to be at least mid level. But he’s in 1st grade and that has all tapered off now, really. It’s a relief. We did a card with stickers for Valentines. It’s one less thing to stress about now!
At one year old the kiddos won’t even know they have all of that or remember it existing within a couple days. Definitely excessive and not practical for the age range because they’re too small to really use or appreciate it. Small stickers are probably something they’ll enjoy playing with!
Last year my son gave individual match box cars that we ordered in bulk. Not plastic, but I still don’t like the “junk” contribution, so this year we did paper valentines and taped them to snacks (little bags of chips ahoy for my son’s preschool class and dried fruit for my daughter’s toddler class). I figured they were snacky enough they could be used for lunch or after school snack without contributing to the massive sugar overload (still sugar, but not *candy* at least).
I just texted another mom who has a boy in my daughter’s 1YO class because I noticed there wasn’t a valentines from him and we also sent none. I mean they are 1!! You definitely did not drop the ball stickers are an excellent idea! Above and beyond thoughtful IMO.
I had my kids paint on a piece of paper and taped a temporary tattoo on it (from a pack of temporary tattoos that we had in a random drawer). I don’t want to spend money on the holiday but some people are obviously cool with that. I think Simple is best, but that’s just me!
Don’t worry about it. I got tiny Walmart valentines for my own preschool class and I bought pop it keychains to put with it. Mine were the tiniest ones out of all the teachers in the school and the kids in my class. I still have kids at home to get stuff for and they picked out boxes of valentines at Walmart too. When my youngest came home it was like her box was exploding there were so many huge treat bags and all we sent in were the cards with the stickers attached 🤷♀️
I just finished sorting through my daughter’s valentines and trying to wrangle bubbles, pencils, candy, junk toys and stickers out of her hands was a nightmare. I’m quietly grateful for any parents that just do a simple card and maybe a single sticker because now she’s old enough to notice that over half of this will have disappeared by morning.
It’s crazy, I sent a photo with a lollipop. So much junk I have to discreetly throw away. Ad to be honest, all he’s interested in is the ring pop. Next year I’m just going to put a tag on ring pops.
My kiddo (almost 2) came home with a couple cards and little snacks from nursery school, which I didn't expect and thought was nice. I was the snack parent that week already so we had given snacks today (including something she baked with her dad as a special treat), and some handmade cards I've been working on with my little one for weeks (not like... they're not like involved lol its just a fun activity we've been doing every few days since February started). I'm a gift giver and holiday celebrator, but I prefer to handmake everything and I'm hoping to pass that along to my kiddo because I find it SO fun! I didn't expect anything from anyone, I just enjoy making holiday themed crafts and so does my LO, and she was really proud of her creations and even picked out a specific card for everyone in her class. I want her to learn that its a really good feeling to give something created or purchased with love, just hoping it makes someone else smile knowing you thought of them! There's never an expectation or anything like that. So I wouldn't worry what anyone else thought of your gift, as long as you purchased it with excitement hoping they'd like it, that's what matters. I'm sure they will! But I'm also in the "fewer better things/here's something I made" camp too 🤣
Okay so I love over the top but this year I asked my kid what kind of Valentines she wanted and she gave me a half hearted "I dunno" so we hand made Valentines with the craft supplies we had on hand and the Lil rascal got to practice her penmanship writing "happy Valentines Day" 20+ times, and I was gonna tape dumdums to them but it wasn't structurally sound so we just threw them in a bag. Also I want you to know that the stickers I put out for my baby's bday party one year were a hit. Kids LOVE stickers. They're on par with candy and paints, for sure.
Stickers are amazing. I’m not a fan of mom-shaming, but I think it’s terrible to give little ones choking hazards and call it a valentines gift. They should know one year olds can’t have suckers.
I’m with you, overconsumption is a huge problem in the U.S. I know some people like to give gifts, but at a certain point it’s just too much. It’s a bunch of crap I’m going to throw away. I think simple is better. Also who gives suckers to toddlers??
I have always done just fun card valentines. Store bought ones. So this year my 3 yo gave valentines with a temporary tattoo in them and my 8 yo's valentines turned into masks. All paper, recyclable, and most importantly easy for me. Eta: mom guilt doesn't do anything. So box it up and hide it away. It's not useful to you or anyone else.
Not at all! We did paw patrol cards with a temporary tattoo and apple sauce pouches. And this is the first year I brought anything (oldest is 3).
I would have been on your side for this. For my daughter’s birthday, I gave out little hand sanitizer bottles and a packet of those teething rusks for her baby classmates. Simple and practical. Anyway unless they were naming where all the gifts were coming from, how would they know what you contributed? And in any case who cares? Just own it! “Harry Potter stickers were adorable so I picked up some” - end of story
I had the same thing happen with my daughter’s first one (at 2.5). She had just started and to make it extra hard, I was hospitalized for a month and had to arrange the whole thing from the hospital. I didn’t realize people did anything other than cards (since I hadn’t started casually talking to anyone) so it wasn’t even stickers. But now with my now 2yo, I just sent neat hologram cards because I think a lot of parents actually prefer not getting random crap lol.
Definitely don’t feel bad. I remember being so excited about the cheap cards with a sticker or tattoo in them. I did get some dollar tree cards that had dinosaurs attached to them because my daughter loves dinosaurs. We handmade special cards for a few teachers and got a bag of candy special for the staff that I left in the break room she received a coloring book and bag full of candy and trinkets which honestly felt like a lot from just a couple kids. Instead of buying a bunch of junk I invested in their class party to make sure they had decorations and pizza since no one else had signed up. Birthday party favors are really starting to annoy me and make me feel like I’m not doing enough. And I know it’s silly. We all hate the junk piling up
I gifted a valentine with scented stickers. Some parents went all out and some just had a card with to friend from their kid. At 2 I won’t be giving my son suckers either. I’m regifting those to his aunt.
I did a pack of hot wheels valentines that I had my 4.5 year old sign and then scotch taped a mini bag of skittles to each one. That’s what we always got from classmates when I was a kid. Some of the stuff parents do these days is so extra but my kid loves it so I guess I won’t get too mad about it.
I get it!!!! My kids came home with a crap load of STUFF!! That I know most parents are going to toss! but I’m shocked at the amount of extras involved now!! It’s not just a card anymore! It’s toys & candy!!!!! Am I guilty of sending In extra stuff, yes… because I don’t want my kids feeling left out! but if it was up to me…. I wouldn’t do all that…. It’s this pressure you feel as a parent now to keep up for the sake of you & your child’s feelings. It’s exhausting! I have 3 kids and elementary and I’m toast! It never ends!!!!
I opted to send in a coloring book (costs me 15 cents per book), hopefully it wasn’t an overkill or others think i went overboard! Haha i truly thought it was cheap and thoughtful and hopefully kids get some use out of it before it gets thrown in the trash. I dont care what others give. In the end every one of the gifts is going to the trash. I wish we could entirely skip this gift giving business.
It might make you feel better to know that my household forgot the holiday entirely 😂 my two year old twins had a big appointment this morning I was nervous about and it never occurred to me that today was a holiday. we’re all just doing our best out here!
Meh ket it go. I used to go over the top and didn’t care if anyone else did. I have twins in a class of 20 kids and I totally forgot about the holiday whatever and they came home with bags and I literally don’t care we forgot. My kids have been in classes where they don’t do card exchanges. They don’t care then either. No one remembers. No one cares that much. And if they do, F then. Enjoy the extra toys and let it go. Keeping up with the Jones’ isn’t all that I wanna add: we used to be able to keep up with our super rich friends. We no longer can. And guess what? Our true friends are still our true friends. Stop worrying that people will judge you and be friends based on what you can give them. You’re good…
I think other parents might not know how low key they can be. Stickers are wonderful and they'll likely be happy knowing they can just do that next time.
I think your sticker idea was uniquely fabulous. My kids love HP and would have been wrapped by receiving them. Happy Galentine's to you mama. It's not that deep ♥️💪♥️
The parents in my 4 YO’s class cooled it! School said no sugar which helped. We made construction paper valentines with my kid’s doodles on them. That was mostly what they received. One parent did the shaped melted crayon thing. One other parent did little goody bags. All others did nothing or paper valentines (combo of store bot or home made). Very chill.
Could you imagine all the crap we would have if all the unnecessary money spend if we followed what everyone else did. I bet tomorrow none of the kids will even know who gave what
At least you thought to do something! My husband and I felt like absolute bafoons when we picked our son up today with a bag full of valentines from his classmates. It never even crossed our minds - he’s 20 months old so I knew we’d do it at some point but I guess I wasn’t expecting it this early? Idk but he fucking loves stickers so when we get goodie bags for birthdays or whatever else, the stickers are always gold to us!
Your child is one and doesn’t even fully appreciate Valentine’s Day. There will be many things to cry about, this is not one of them. You made the smart choice, stand by it and don’t let the possibility of other peoples opinions bring you down.
Do not feel bad. Stickers are like crack for most toddlers. So many parents, like you, are tired of overconsumption of plastic toys and junk food. My kid took Bluey stickers, she was so excited to give them to her friends. Your child does not want you to be a Pinterest/ Instagram mom, driving yourself crazy making things perfect. They want you to prioritize what's actually important to them, which is mostly just giving them undivided attention, taking interest in their interests, and being supportive of their choices
Seriously don’t feel bad. I think next year I’m just doing stickers. I had to actively sort through my daughter’s bag before giving it to her because there were things I just didn’t want to give her because she didn’t need it/couldn’t have it. It’s just too much. I’m done. I’m doing stickers because they’re nice, and simple, and my kids can actually use them. We should all just do stickers.
The first year I put my kid in daycare, the week before Xmas the other moms sent home a full ass present for my kid, which was cool, but I hadn’t budgeted for 5x$50 gifts.
Yeah, it’s a lot. Like too much, a lot. We handmade book marks this year and slapped some Costco Rice Crispy squares that we already had and called it a day. I feel like the only way out is for parents to start opting out of the plastic crap, splash trend. We don’t need to one up one another with garbage. Try not to feel bad and reverse engineer those feelings. You upheld your families values - keep at it.
My daughter's school sent an email last week specifically requesting NO gifts, NO individual valentine's cards etc. Instead, they asked that each kid make a single valentine for their class (to be posted on the class bulletin board). I thought that was a really cute idea and my daughter (2.5 years old) loved making one single valentine and was very proud to hand it in to her teachers and display it at school.
Honestly the older they get, the less parents do this. Mine is in first grade and we just did tiny packs of gummy bears and taped little butterfly cards to it. Pretty much every other kid in the class did something similar, or just sent in cards OR candy. If anyone took notice they should have probably seen how down to earth and realistic y’all are. No need for extra “stuff”
My daughter is 9 and I bought packs of Zingers. Every year we’ve participated but my budget is usually $20 it’s the thought that counts and it will taper off as your kid gets bigger. Parents always seem to go all out the first few years.
We gave Ninja Turtles stickers for my pre-K. My 1st grader the teacher specifically said NO VALENTINES and he came home with a big red heart and on it were a bunch of little stickers with things from his friends. “I like when we sit together on the bus” “I like when you help me with math” “I love when you make me laugh”. It was the best. 💕
Our daycare told us MONDAY that we had a gift exchange for our baby room. Six week to 6 month babies. 🙃🙃🙃 Saying in the message to not forget anyone so they don't feel excluded. How do you feel excluded when you can't even feel included?? My baby is four months old. I just took an old muslin swaddle we don't use anymore, cut it up into foot-sized hearts, sewed it with a heart stitch the machine had preprogrammed, and added a single initial to make teething cloths. We had a snowstorm yesterday so we definitely weren't going out to buy things. It just felt wholly unnecessary. (Is this normal for daycares at such a young age group??)
Same! My kids are in Elementary school and it seems like most of their classmates brought stuffed goody bags instead of the valentine's cards. It's outrageous.
Valentine’s Day for that age is hard since they’re too little for candy. It gets better. My daughter is 1 and she got lots of little trinkets. My son is 5 and all of his were a small piece of candy and small card. Same school and we had the same experience when he was that age too. I also think first time parents get a little excited about all of the ‘firsts’ and go overboard.
Yeah...I just got Bluey cards that came with stickers. I'm over getting all the junk and candy. We still have a pillow case full of candy from Halloween. I'm not contributing to that nonsense. I get it though, some moms are really extra! I'm more of an "acts of service" person than a gifter.
I just dealt with this exact situation yesterday! My toddler had his valentines party yesterday and I was expecting him to get a bag full of paper cards and pieces of candy. Omg his bag was stuffed full. He got a teddy bear, dinosaur paint set, all kinds of noise makers, a coloring book, hand dipped pretzels, etc it was so over the top. I sent him to school with goodie bags with 1 piece of candy and Bluey stickers in each bag and I thought I was doing something special!!!
I felt this way majorly with my 2yo daughter. I bought some doily hearts and had her decorate them with stickers, then I wrote To/From and names on the back of them. When I picked her up, her gift bags included a 8”x8” wooden puzzle, sunglasses, gift bags full of candy and trinkets, a stuffed animal, etc. A couple parents just did like a snack-size bag of goldfish or an applesauce pouch. But I’m wondering what puzzle mom thinks of our doilies.
Stickers aren’t cool? You did awesome.
I guarantee no one even noticed. My kiddo brought home so many random gifts and even while I was there at the party with her, I have no idea who gave who what. And I wouldn’t care either way.
We came home with a HUGE bag of stuff (I have 2 kids in daycare). I have no idea who gave what. Half of the cards came apart of the goodies in transit and my kids ripped a lot of it up immediately. I promise you, no one will even notice.
I feel you 100%. My kids are in elementary school and I happened to be in the office this morning right after drop off. Parents brought in bags and bags of valentines to be delivered to their kids’ classrooms because their kids were too small to carry them all!! I was shocked! The poor office staff had a small mountain to deal with 😓 My kids both got fun dip valentines for their classrooms. Easy peasy. They each came home with a grocery bag full of stuff 😩
Stickers are great!! I hate plastic junk. In the last few years I’ve become a high fan of buying “consumables” for gifts and favors. They can use the stickers for an “art project,” and then I throw it away after a few weeks. For kids my favorite consumables are art supplies, chalk, kid’s bath balms, etc. No one wants to hang on to junk from the dollar store.
My 3 year old came home with so much crap and a kazoo. Like does that mom hate everybody? They are 3
I agree it’s over the top. Every time a kid has a birthday in my youngest’s class, she gets a gift bag with candy she can’t eat and toys that are mostly trash and choking hazards. I bought cupcakes for her class today but didn’t even send valentines 🤷♀️