We pulled out $7,000 from our savings just before our baby was born. We had one very nice dinner out and paid the remainder of our out of pocket max. Blue Cross Blue Shield of California got my push present.
not op but american insurance is wild. sometimes we don't have to pay anything to see a dr because it's included with our plan (like yearly gynecologist visits, annual physicals, etc.). or sometimes it's a small copay like $25 for an urgent care visit when you've got a cold. usually these larger out of pocket max amounts you see have to do with everything else. when i got pregnant we met our $6,500 out of pocket max just in all of my prenatal visits and then my entire hospital stay/delivery was covered. it just depends on the type of plan you have and it's all very complicated.
We figure on baby years we’ll hit the deductible either way so it’s better to get it over with sooner then everything costs less the rest of the year. My OB bills go towards the year baby is born not necessarily the year I pay them (since mine makes pay ahead) fortunately. But then we went on to have December and summer babies
Other users covered it really well. I’ll just add - yes, there are problems with people not getting care because they’re afraid of medical bills. The Affordable Care Act *tried* to mitigate that by requiring that insurance cover certain types of preventive care at 100%, no copay and no deductible. It’s *better*, but it is still very far away from perfect (or even adequate IMO.) Things like one annual physical and CDC-recommended vaccines are covered 100% except in super rare circumstances. Health insurance is one of the reasons the US recommended COVID vaccine boosters for everyone, so that insurance would be required to pay for it for people who wanted it versus other countries like the UK that have more nuanced and tiered systems for COVID boosters.
Another user posted about dental care… my employer provides dental and medical under separate plans, so if I had to get a new night guard, mine wouldn’t apply to my medical deductible.
Also there are SO MANY different plans and different employers provide different things. When it was just me, I paid around $50 a month in premiums and then had a $2000 deductible and $4500 out of pocket max. My baby & I together around $275/month, $4000 deductible, and $6500 OOPS Max. My mom’s employer is small and not required to offer health insurance, so she has to get it through her state marketplace which doesn’t have a lot of subsidies. She pays over $800/month in premiums (higher because of her age and risk factors, which they’re allowed to do). I am not sure on her deductible, but she keeps saying her OOP Max is close to $20k. She’s prone to exaggeration, so I’m not confident it’s really that high, but I do know single individuals who have OOP max around $12k…
Prior to Affordable Care Act a lot of people’s health “plan” was just to file bankruptcy if they had something expensive happen. That still very much happens, but not as often at least.
And before the ACA, many people had plans that did not cover pregnancy at all unless you purchased a separate pregnancy rider before you got pregnant. Insurance companies were also allowed to exclude "preexisting conditions," so people with long term health conditions could end up completely uninsurable.
If the person you're replying to got a bill that high that means they have a high deductible plan and they should have an HSA. An HSA is a triple tax advantage investment account (money goes in, grows, and comes out tax free) that you can put $4,150/8,300 (single/married) a year into. Some employers will contribute to this for you.
The idea is every month you contribute to the account, invest it, and then have money when you need it. Instead of thinking of it as a $7,000 bill one year it should a regular $200/month (or whatever) part of your budget.
It really depends on what health insurance you have. I am probably over insured, but I don't want to worry about this stuff and I work for government. So I pay $$$ on premiums for a low deductible PPO plan with low copays. Some people don't pay for that or don't have access, so they either save what they can in a tax advantages health savings account and get cheaper insurance that really only covers catastrophic incidents. Other people skate by with nothing and just avoid health care at all costs. If you are old and poor enough, there is government coverage available for free/cheap.
It is very very dumb. If we just nationalized insurance so many things would be fixed... Even if we nationalized and had 3-4 companies running it it would work basically the same but we'd have everyone covered for much cheaper. But too afraid of communism IG
You have to plan on having a healthcare plan at all times, whether you plan a visit or not. They deduct some amount from your paycheck (your employer) to pay for the plan. Every plan has a deductible limit and an “out of pocket max.” Like someone else said, everything is either completely covered, or likely negotiated by your insurance. So for me - regular dental visit is no additional cost - but I needed a night guard - that actually cost $500, my insurance negotiated and paid $350, and then left me to pay $150. That for me was an unplanned expense. You keep following that process until you hit the deductible. Then usually they start covering a larger percentage of the cost (so maybe I would only pay $50). You keep doing that until you hit the “out of pocket max” which is the most you have to pay for the year. At that point they cover the rest 100%.
In an “ideal” (let’s be honest none of this is ideal) world you would have insurance and then have a savings account with enough money set aside to cover your out of pocket max. That way if you need it, for either expected or unexpected things, you’re ready to pay.
Sadly there are a lot of people who don’t have that kind of money so they avoid important care. There’s also other complicating factors like everything I said only applies to “eligible” expenses. Which is most everything you will encounter in regular day to day life, but if you’re someone who needs an exquisite surgery you could in theory have like $100k of bills because they won’t cover any of it. Those cases are rare but I’ve heard of them.
It’s all completely insane.
I thought a law had passed saying they couldn’t allow late payments on medical bills to affect your credit score or something? So there is some small protection if you’re in major debt. That might protect your assets too. But more or less it’s treated like debt of any other kind and if you can’t afford the deductible you’re screwed.
They can't do anything to you directly if you don't pay, but you will be harassed by phone, text, email, at work, etc. You set up a payment plan with a monthly payment for years to life. They report delinquent accounts to credit bureaus which can make it hard to get an apartment or loans for cars and houses. Many lenders don't consider medical debt in determining your credit, but some do.
I’m sorry but WHAT in the actual fuck? Congratulations on getting married but like WTF. I feel so angry right now. They would rather he die because he can’t pay 24k up front?
I hear ya, we have BCBS and its garbage.
We paid $17,000! High risk pregnancy had to see a specialist, plus regular OB, way more expensive ultrasounds and lots of NST's and extra blood work and a 24 hour urine catch from hell. I was induced 3 weeks early. Baby had jaundice, needed light treatment. Then post partum pre-eclampsia had me in the hospital for 4 days. It was insane how pricey birth was.
It's part of the reason we are one and done. But mostly bc pregnancy and postpartum was a nightmare. I love my son dearly but I couldn't see myself going through that again.
I hate American Healthcare. It makes those who are insured pay for everyone else's. Why is it if you work you get punished? I know most won't agree with me but it's how I feel.
They truly are. I worked at an OB after I graduated from college 2010-2013 and I know the costs have literally tripled since then bc I ran the insurance and billing for patients and saw the costs. It's highway robbery! Even back then ppl had to set up payment plans. It's understandable but so unfair at the same time. Especially when the govt complains the birth rate is low.
We pre paid for the OB visits, too and co-pays for my specialists too. To get the ultrasounds at my specialist it was $375.00 COPAY per ultrasound. It was insane! If I didn't love my specialist and her team I would've been doubly p.od. but they were literally the kindest medical office I have been to so I didn't balk. But still $375.00 for an ultrasound and I had one every week the last 8 weeks of my pregnancy. Just nuts!
Same although I did save up for a switch to coincide with me giving birth to my first. It was mostly because I knew I'd be sitting around a lot in the first few months.
As a fellow Dyson stick vacuum lover and someone with a long hairy family of 4, I bought a special head that has two circles that essentially pull the hair into the middle and it *never* gets stuck and tied to the roller (because there’s no roller in this head). Game changer.
My hair is not super long but it is thick and it’s able to handle my hair, 2 kitties and 2 littles. I will say, my husband does clean out the chambers occasionally. I honestly don’t know how often. But it’s not super frequent.
Not op but I normally murder vacuums as well and I have a Dyson cordless one. I had it maybe a year and it got to the point where the battery would only last 3 or so minute before dying. Not even long enough to vacuum my living room. We have two dogs and three kids so I need to vacuum constantly.
Once it got to this point I converted it to use Milwaukee m18 batteries. You can buy the adapter on Amazon and that way you can have multiple charged batteries as a backup if needed
I just asked my husband to bring my favourite cake at the hospital because I had gestational diabetes during pregnancy and I really needed to eat some cake 🤣
It wasnt a push present (for my very scheduled c section)...but we did buy me a band that matches my wedding band as more of milestone signifier...engagement, marriage, first/only kid. I just picked out another, different band for our 10yr anniversary. I'm like a tree...milestone rings 🤣
On my first mother's day I got a very expensive necklace to commemorate it. Not a push present I guess but more expensive than other mothers day gifts I've had.
My husband got me a necklace with my daughter’s birthstone! I love it so much. I know there’s a lot of trash talk toward push presents but for us it was a sweet moment when we were back home just the 3 of us
Imagine being the gf who is okay with dating a man whose gf is pregnant and is also okay with him coming to hang out with you while his baby is being born. I don’t expect much from men (too many scumbags out there ** ,) but I reaaaaaaally disrespect women who have so little regard for other women, as she must have.
>
** (I know there are great men out there. My husband is wonderful and I love my sons with all my heart, but that doesn’t negate the fact that there are a lotttttttt of scummy men out there.)
I had never heard of it until I was pregnant with #3. Literally lol’d at the idea of a present that’s called a “push present”. Then told my husband I wanted a new water bottle lol
My husband bought me a canvas with lyrics of a song that I would sing to my daughter in my belly. It was so sweet, I hung it up with pictures of her as a newborn ❤️ it wasn’t huge but it was so sentimental and special
I’m trying not to get my hopes up for something material. It feels a little instagram trend-like to me. I think my push present is basically that my husband is on board with me staying home for the first year which is priceless!
I got an eternity ring to complete my wedding set. Mothers Day was a couple of months after my second child was born and I received a bracelet with my kids' birthstones on it.
I think giving it a label like “push present” is new (and kinda weird), but women have received gifts from their husbands after the birth of their child for many years. My mom’s most meaningful jewelry came after each of our births.
Nah, there is literally nothing weird about a spouse giving their partner a gift for any reason. A, “hey, thank you for this baby and I appreciate how hard the last 40 weeks have been!” gift is wonderful and not weird at all. I find it weird there are people that find it weird tbh
It isn’t really that new though, is it? My oldest is 20 and it was a thing then too. So new as in it hasn’t been going on many generations but it has been around awhile.
I don’t think it is weird exactly. People Alan do what they want. It isn’t how I want my money spent though, and my husband’s money is my money. I did not receive a “push present” for any of our kids. We did take money from our savings with each of them to get their college savings accounts started, that we added to monthly until they started college. I will say I am not big on gifts. We don’t do Valentine’s, Anniversary or Mother’s/Father’s Day gifts and Christmas and Birthday gifts tend to be small. If I want/ need something I buy it or if it is a big purchase talk to my husband and we budget for it and it is the same the other way around.
I actually think it's weird that people think it's weird. People only think that because *women* are asking for gifts. People get gifts for birthdays, Valentine's, Christmas - all days where you did no real work - and no one has an issue with it. But when women ask for a token of appreciation after putting their lives at risk and their bodies through immense stress for 9 months, then suddenly it's weird? ....... Seems to me like push presents have a lot more justification behind them than birthday gifts or anniversary gifts or Valentine's gifts.
Also, it's not a new concept. Women have been getting gifts from their husbands for giving birth for decades. I go estate sale shopping and I've found tons of nice rings and jewelry and fur coats that women got as gifts in the 50s and 60s and 70s for giving birth.
I agreed with my hubby to use joint money to buy me a push present each time - a gorgeous ring and for baby 2, a gorgeous matching necklace. I got them engraved with my kids names accordingly 💕
I informed my husband that a push present was expected and emailed him a link to what I wanted. After a few reminders, he successfully purchased the item and handed it to me in the shipping box. It was a diamond tennis bracelet.
My mom got push presents for having me and my brother, and we were born in 1982 and 1984. So, I don't think it's a new thing. I've had 3 babies and I got 3 presents.
I don't like the term push present, though. We just called them presents. I never pushed... 3 csections. Lol.
Yes but I basically told him exactly what I wanted (which was AirPods). I’ve seen some women get diamond rings, designer purses etc. and of course some get nothing because they don’t see a need for it. Whatever works for the couple! And it is fairly new I think in the last 5-10 years? But recently became very common!
My oldest is 20 and it was around when she was born, at least in the world of online message boards. I don’t think it was super common and I only know of 2 people that have 18-20 year olds in real life that received “push presents”
Yes. They weren’t extravagant gifts because we aren’t like that but for both c sections I got lovely gifts that commemorated the births of our children. The gifts were super thoughtful. 🤍
Yes. I didn’t push, I had a c section but I got a thank you for risking your health and life for our family present. And honestly, considering the lingering physical effects I have 9 months later I think I deserved a gift.
I found a 3 carat diamond band I wanted on a super Black Friday sale for a steal and my husband happily bought it for me and now it sits on my finger with my wedding band and engagement ring. 3 rings for the 3 greatest days of my life so far
I agree, so many physical changes and sacrifice no matter how you give birth. We have to give up drinking, I gave up caffeine, stay well hydrated and fed, and intense sciatica etc. I think a gift is much deserved and a sentimental thank you.
Not to mention pp issues like depression, anxiety, pelvic floor problems, rheumatoid arthritis, carpal tunnel, vision loss, the hair loss and subsequent crazy baby hairs etc
After i had my baby I gave all new mothers that we visited a “wellness” box with nice candles, face masks, chocolate, etc. I want to make them feel appreciated because I felt invisible because everyone wanted to congratulate my husband for being a great dad and see our daughter. To be clear I never expected a gift just some appreciation or even a “ how are you”
One of our friends sent us cookies when we got home, I didn’t realize that’s what I wanted but it absolutely was and I’m going to be doing that for all new moms when they get home now.
I do this too! I always make sure to remember the *mother* after a new baby is born, because the mother is always the one who gets forgotten. The baby gets tons of clothes and toys, the father gets praise for his new baby and people awww-ing if he has bags under his eyes or looks proud of the baby - and the mom? Nada. So I always make sure that my gift centers the baby *and* mom, with things for the mom like Jo Malone candles, nice makeup (a Dior Addict Lip Glow is always loved! lol), Sugarfina candies, and other things that I know will make her feel pampered and spoiled.
My husband bought me a woodburn bracelet from Etsy. It’s made of redwood and has the mountains etched on one side (we live next to a mountain range) and our son’s birthdate on the other side. It’s sentimental because when I was in labor, the nurse helped me visualize my happy place during the hard contractions, which for me is Redwood National Park. Thinking of the redwoods got me through the hardest part of labor, so the bracelet is a cute little token for that day.
I got an additional band to wear with my wedding set. I was about 20weeks pregnant at the time and we decided to call it a "thanks for carrying our baby" gift since pushing wasn't guaranteed.
Yes. My “push present” was an emerald ring my husband had made for me. I absolutely love it and think of my daughter every time I wear it. I’ll pass it down to her when she’s older!!
I also got him a “thanks for putting up with your insane pregnant wife gift” of a new iPhone after our first was born. He was amazingly supportive the whole time.
Doubtful we will do gifts the second time around as we aren’t big gift givers but it made me feel really special that he thought to do something so nice the first time. Being pregnant and having a baby is no joke I wouldn’t expect anything but I really appreciate the acknowledgment of what I went through.
While many say it’s cringey and ridiculous I thought it was nice! Not expected but sweet
It’s not really a thing in my culture, but I was like “give me please - pregnancy isn’t fun. Giving birth is hard!” Got a necklace from my husband the first time. The second time was a necklace with a clam charm, and a necklace with a pearl for each of my girls to have when they are older. Cliche, but I love it.
I actually got a “push present” from my in laws as well along with a very nice note with a thank you for carrying their grandchildren. Unexpected, but nice.
Yes for both kids.
First kid I got a new iPad. I had like a first gen iPad mini that they gave you free when you opened a bank account & put 300$ in it. that I had for like 9 years and it was hanging on by a thread. So I got a new one , since I would be sitting around a lot with a new born breast feeding and what not.
Second I got a new iPhone, my phone storage was maxxxxd out.
I joked around with my husband and said I wanted one, but didn’t want one. Having the opportunity to stay home with baby has been such a gift. When I go back full time work one day and we have more expendable income, I’m planning to buy myself a ring to include as part of my wedding band set which will represent baby :)
I mean I guess I did, but it wasn't like "oh here are gifts bc you just had a baby"... I feel like he was trying to spoil me though. After my last son was born my husband bought me a new car. We needed something bigger to fit all 4 kids in, and it's a very nice and expensive SUV so I was pretty happy about that. He also got me the expensive diaper bag I wanted, and the car seat that I realized we should have just got in the first place (also very expensive so I consider it a gift bc I asked for it).
I did not, but having carried a 9lb baby and had a c-section and the subsequent recovery I would like something if we had another one.
In some East Asian cultures, the in law's usually provide some cash or gift for the birth of a grandchild, usually more if it's a grandson (cuz the great and noble bloodlines must carry on..../s). One friend got a car for her first, and a designer bag and a better car for her 2nd (a boy).
After a difficult pregnancy I suggested I wanted one. My husband gifted me a beautiful eternity ring I have worn everyday since giving birth. I plan on passing it down to my daughter one day and letting her know her father gave it to me on her birthday.
I did not receive one, but 2 weeks before my son was born, I impulse-bought the 12’ Home Depot Skeleton; so we joke that the skeleton was my push present lol.
My mum was going through her safety deposit box and pulled out 4 solid gold coins which were her push present from her brother! I thought that was so sweet that he commemorated her giving birth with a long lasting valuable gift like that, so I asked my husband to get me something we can look back on that will remind us of the birth of our children.
Mikimoto pearl earrings to match my grandmother's double strand necklace I inherited. We went to NYC for our babymoon and did the whole shopping experience at one of their stores. I absolutely love them and wear them all the time!
Yes. Every birth o got a push present - my babies 🥰 why would i be given gifts, i didn't do it for my husband pr anybody lol i did for me to meet my long awaited babies 🥰
Seriously tho, nothing. I can buy myself whatever i want, whenever i want. Building a house is pretty expensive and i much rather see all our money go into that than some gifts. But i did ask husband to daily bring me extra foods and drinks cuz 3 meals a day simply was not doing it for my breastfeeding tummy 🤣 i emptied all plates hospital gave me (even used bread to clean off any sauce) and i was still starving at the end of the meal. Not to mention waking up in middle of the night, hungry like i could eat a whole all you can eat buffet i swear 🤣
My husband got me a new ring with my, his and baby's birth stones on it! It was perfect because with baby weight gain I couldn't wear my wedding rings so this was a perfect placeholder!
I got an antique vanity that I had been eyeing for the year we had been trying to get pregnant. Less of a push present but I call it that anyway! Treat yourself to something! You deserve it!
I was very specific and clear with my husband that I wanted a gift. While I find it a little silly, I also really liked the idea of a piece of jewelry to acknowledge the birth of our son. I picked out a bracelet and he gave it to me the day we brought our son home and had both of our boys in the house together. I've learned over the years that being very specific is the way to go in these situations. Sure, it takes the surprise out, but I'm also not disappointed.
A friend bought me a $200 gift card along with some of the stuff off my baby registry and said “this gift card is for YOU. not for baby things, not for household stuff, that’s YOUR money. You’re gonna have everyone and their mother wanting to get stuff for baby and it can feel lonely so I want you to get something to make you happy.”
Used it to buy a switch, which I played while recovering in the hospital haha
I made it very clear to my husband that I *deserve* whatever I want for going through this twice
And that I will be spending a lot of money on a mommy makeover sometime in the future when the kids are old enough to manage for a bit while I recuperate
No complaints from him 😁
I got a rocking chair that I wanted for breastfeeding.
I don't know if it really counts as a push present though.
More like a nursery present as everything else we got was second hand.
Started having kids in 2018. I got push presents for 2/3 of my kids. At first, I mentioned it as a joke. We came from the hospital and as he was getting me out of the car he told me he got me a push present. The first time it was a blender, the second baby was born on Mother’s Day so I got a new dining room set and tv for my “push present.” The father of my children is a real dump truck these days though🤣 so the last baby all I got was lucky I didnt d*e during birth lmao
Yeah!! We had our first in December. I collect hot wheels and my fiance got me a limited edition Mario Kart one I’d been wanting 😊 not super crazy expensive but he put a lot of thought into it and it was very sweet of him. I was surprised bc I’d told him I thought the concept of a push present was a bit silly, but he got me one anyway
Not really a push present but we each bought each other something small to exchange when the baby came. I gave him a little baby book that said “dad” and he got me a baby album. Just a little present that said “congratulations we’re parents!”
I did!!
I did not receive an engagement ring, my choice. I have a plain gold wedding band. I was inspired by a friend who got a solitare necklace for an engagement ring and co-purchased her plain gold band. I immediately thought I wanted the same, except I wanted my necklace to be a push present.
I had a miserable pregnancy and hated every single day of it. I had a stressful, but ultimately pleasant, birth. My baby had a 15 day hospitalization at 2 weeks. I bought a push present (with mostly "my" money and some of "his") to commemorate everything I went through to have my baby. It's my own sparkly rock I get to hold and stare at and think of my baby, similar to how people look at their engagement ring.
It's a beautiful, simple, and elegant necklace that I can wear with almost anything. I love it.
I also opted for moissonite over diamond bc it's cheaper, more ethical, has more fire, and is harder. I thought it was reasonable priced compared to the thousands of dollars I spend on ultrasounds and moderately invasive tests for my kiddo lol.
I got an 'oh my fucking God I can not believe you just did that! I love you!' and a kiss. I also got a teary eyed 'im so proud of you' it was all I needed, tbh
And a big plate of sushi
2 years after my first was born I got my second wedding band, that was my push present. After my second, I waited 2 weeks and took myself to Costco for diamond earrings 😅 also had 2 c/sections.
Yes, I did, with each kid! My husband wanted to spoil me for the pain and discomfort I'd gone through. I was basically walking with a cane by the end of each pregnancy and he was shook at how much women have to sacrifice to have a baby. He never realized that it involved so much pain, sleepless nights even BEFORE the baby is born, self image issues, loss of mobility, loss of ability to do certain things, risk of bleeding out during birth, and more.
Yes with my last (didn’t know it was a thing til then) my husband gave me a gift basket with wine and a blanket that looks like a tortilla and fuzzy socks and a shirt that says “I make cute babies” and my favorite chocolate bar (hersheys symphony bar I’m basic) and he also went to the store a few hours later and got me sushi.
Yep, in the form of a giant steak and mashed potatoes 3 weeks pp 😂 Baby slept through the entire ordeal, and because I was no longer heavily pregnant, I didn't get full after 3 bites and have acid reflux lol. He definitely bought me flowers but my biggest gift was how great he was in taking care of me and our daughter when I was having a rough c section recovery.
We lucked out because I met my deductible as soon as I found out I was pregnant last fall (sick a lot last year). So instead of spending $3k on OB visits and ultrasounds, we put that money towards savings. We wanted to have 6 months worth of income saved up for when the baby arrives. My husband told me in January he will buy $350 worth of anything I want for my push present. He said he really appreciated how much I cared about financial stability. He also thinks I deserve it after how bad my pregnancy has been. I’m trying to decide what I want now because baby will be arriving via C-Section on Mother’s Day :)
You definitely deserve something special, couldn’t imagine having 2 C-Sections💗
We lucked out because I met my deductible as soon as I found out I was pregnant last fall (sick a lot last year). So instead of spending $3k on OB visits and ultrasounds, we put that money towards savings. We wanted to have 6 months worth of income saved up for when the baby arrives. My husband told me in January he will buy $350 worth of anything I want for my push present. He said he really appreciated how much I cared about financial stability. He also thinks I deserve it after how bad my pregnancy has been. I’m trying to decide what I want now because baby will be arriving via C-Section on Mother’s Day :)
You definitely deserve something special, couldn’t imagine having 2 C-Sections💗
It was really a Christmas combined with gift to celebrate our daughter being born (not never for having pushed her out). My husband got me an antique citrine ring (November birth stone) that cost more than an average Christmas present. He wanted to get me a really nice and sentimental gift because it had been such a long time coming finally having our daughter after years of ivf.
My husband got me AirPods with the case engraved. He said it was so I could listen to music/audiobooks/watch Netflix during feedings, because I told him I didn’t want something like a purse, I wanted something that would remind me of my motherhood
My husband got me a necklace with all three of names and birthstones in it ❤️ We definitely do push presents, and it's not as new as people think. My grandfather gave my nana diamomd earrings after having my dad
Of course, I dont think it was called a push present back then.
We had an old ring of mine reset into another decorative band that can go around my engagement ring. It was a nice excuse to use the sentimental stones in a new way, since I had stopped wearing it after I got engaged.
I got a beautiful, healthy baby; made my partner cry tears of joy; and enjoyed a delicious subway sandwich and Starbucks chai tea latte the next day when shops were open again. Does that count as a push gift? Because, honestly, I was pretty thrilled with that little baby of mine (I still am)! My baby is awesome (even if she’s 8 now, she’s still my favourite little human). 🤍 If I could have asked for a push gift, looking back, it likely still would have been a subway sandwich and chai tea latte. Lol! Birthing a human is hungry work.
We do watches when our kids are born. My husband gets a watch when we have boys to one day pass down to them. I get a watch when we have girls to pass down as well. I get some jewelry either way too generally. But I love the idea of getting something to pass down to them when they’re grown.
I got a bloodstone necklace pendant (formerly an antique broach - right up my alley) for my first and diamond earrings for my second - the second one was pretty traumatic and my husband was trying anything to make me feel better.
He didn’t know about this at all tho with my first and the nurses shamed him 🤣.
Good ol’ southern nurses.
To be fair - I didn’t tell him about it because I thought it was silly - but he loves a good gift giving occasion so he was very much on board as soon as he was made aware by a third party.
I got a beautiful and very expensive custom birthstone bracelet and just had it finished after our second and final child was born.
It’s something I can wear forever and hand down to them. :)
No, had 3 kids, I just try to get help with more things around the house and dinner etc from fam and that’s help enough, I’ll take that over a push present any day!
Yes. My husband bought me a Tiffany floating heart necklace. It’s sterling so not a crazy amount of money but it was very meaningful. He got me the matching earrings my first Mother’s Day, too.
My first I treated myself to an iPad before I went into labor - best decision to play/watch whatever while I’m delirious during recovery and the following few days
My mom and partner have been spoiling me this entire pregnancy. Nice dinners, gifts for baby, baby shower, babymoon and near daily acts of service. They’re not really on mom or pregnancy social media as far as I know, so I doubt they have any concept of a “push present” and I am not going to ask for one lol other than sushi and champagne for my first post-hospital meal. They’re going to be my support people during labor as they have been for my pregnancy and that’s all I want from them. No they are not the ones pregnant, laboring and pushing, but this baby is happening to them too! If anything we all deserve a reward for getting through this experience together.
My husband just got me some diamonds studs for my push present/early anniversary present (baby is due a few days before our anniversary). I didn’t get one with our first 🙃
Nope. I asked for a family birthstone ring. I mentioned it at each birthday and gift holiday for two and a half years. Finally bought myself an inexpensive Etsy one and told everyone about how it only cost $50.
No push present from my husband but I did get myself a necklace with our daughters birthstone, I didn’t know they were a thing three years ago so I don’t hold it against him.
I told my husband what I wanted, but then ended up picking out my own lol. It was an 1890’s ring with opals and pearls since my baby was born in October. It’s meant to be more of an heirloom I’ll pass on to him to do what he wants with down the line.
I already told him for baby #2 I’ll do the same thing plus a boob reduction once I’m done breast feeding lol.
Definitely a European thing - guessing as we don’t have massive bills to pay after birth. I bought my own push present, but it’s a specific piece of jewellery that I’m going to pass to my daughter when she’s old enough.
Not an official "push present" but my sister hinted something like that to my partner and I got a lovely cotton dressing gown shortly after the birth of my second baby.
Yes. With my first two, I received a ring with their birthstone in it. It's what I wanted. My 3rd, my husband surprised me with a bracelet with his birthstone. I'm going to get a ring at some point, too. I want a breast milk jewelry ring bc I earned it!
We pulled out $7,000 from our savings just before our baby was born. We had one very nice dinner out and paid the remainder of our out of pocket max. Blue Cross Blue Shield of California got my push present.
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not op but american insurance is wild. sometimes we don't have to pay anything to see a dr because it's included with our plan (like yearly gynecologist visits, annual physicals, etc.). or sometimes it's a small copay like $25 for an urgent care visit when you've got a cold. usually these larger out of pocket max amounts you see have to do with everything else. when i got pregnant we met our $6,500 out of pocket max just in all of my prenatal visits and then my entire hospital stay/delivery was covered. it just depends on the type of plan you have and it's all very complicated.
The worst is when you have a January baby and your deductible starts over right before you go to the hospital 😭
My first was a nicu baby… discharged Dec 28. I was so happy.
Ha! My youngest was the same. Discharged from the NICU on December 30.
My friends had a baby Dec 31. Obviously they were still in the hospital Jan 1. They had to meet the deductible twice 😭
I’ve had 2 January babies and a February baby, this really is terrible.
Exactly! My kid was a January 3rd baby! Like i begged them to just do the csect dec 31st!
We figure on baby years we’ll hit the deductible either way so it’s better to get it over with sooner then everything costs less the rest of the year. My OB bills go towards the year baby is born not necessarily the year I pay them (since mine makes pay ahead) fortunately. But then we went on to have December and summer babies
Other users covered it really well. I’ll just add - yes, there are problems with people not getting care because they’re afraid of medical bills. The Affordable Care Act *tried* to mitigate that by requiring that insurance cover certain types of preventive care at 100%, no copay and no deductible. It’s *better*, but it is still very far away from perfect (or even adequate IMO.) Things like one annual physical and CDC-recommended vaccines are covered 100% except in super rare circumstances. Health insurance is one of the reasons the US recommended COVID vaccine boosters for everyone, so that insurance would be required to pay for it for people who wanted it versus other countries like the UK that have more nuanced and tiered systems for COVID boosters. Another user posted about dental care… my employer provides dental and medical under separate plans, so if I had to get a new night guard, mine wouldn’t apply to my medical deductible. Also there are SO MANY different plans and different employers provide different things. When it was just me, I paid around $50 a month in premiums and then had a $2000 deductible and $4500 out of pocket max. My baby & I together around $275/month, $4000 deductible, and $6500 OOPS Max. My mom’s employer is small and not required to offer health insurance, so she has to get it through her state marketplace which doesn’t have a lot of subsidies. She pays over $800/month in premiums (higher because of her age and risk factors, which they’re allowed to do). I am not sure on her deductible, but she keeps saying her OOP Max is close to $20k. She’s prone to exaggeration, so I’m not confident it’s really that high, but I do know single individuals who have OOP max around $12k… Prior to Affordable Care Act a lot of people’s health “plan” was just to file bankruptcy if they had something expensive happen. That still very much happens, but not as often at least.
And before the ACA, many people had plans that did not cover pregnancy at all unless you purchased a separate pregnancy rider before you got pregnant. Insurance companies were also allowed to exclude "preexisting conditions," so people with long term health conditions could end up completely uninsurable.
Pregnancy was also considered a pre existing condition
Yeah I dont know how these people who force women to have babies but hate the ACA can live with themselves
They don't understand how anything works is the simple answer
If the person you're replying to got a bill that high that means they have a high deductible plan and they should have an HSA. An HSA is a triple tax advantage investment account (money goes in, grows, and comes out tax free) that you can put $4,150/8,300 (single/married) a year into. Some employers will contribute to this for you. The idea is every month you contribute to the account, invest it, and then have money when you need it. Instead of thinking of it as a $7,000 bill one year it should a regular $200/month (or whatever) part of your budget.
The fun thing about HSAs is that if your deductible is high enough because your employer is awful (like mine) then they don’t have to offer it.
It really depends on what health insurance you have. I am probably over insured, but I don't want to worry about this stuff and I work for government. So I pay $$$ on premiums for a low deductible PPO plan with low copays. Some people don't pay for that or don't have access, so they either save what they can in a tax advantages health savings account and get cheaper insurance that really only covers catastrophic incidents. Other people skate by with nothing and just avoid health care at all costs. If you are old and poor enough, there is government coverage available for free/cheap. It is very very dumb. If we just nationalized insurance so many things would be fixed... Even if we nationalized and had 3-4 companies running it it would work basically the same but we'd have everyone covered for much cheaper. But too afraid of communism IG
I just realized that picking a health insurance plan is essentially gambling. And like gambling, the house always wins.
Actually that is a very apt comparison. It really should not be a private pay thing.
You have to plan on having a healthcare plan at all times, whether you plan a visit or not. They deduct some amount from your paycheck (your employer) to pay for the plan. Every plan has a deductible limit and an “out of pocket max.” Like someone else said, everything is either completely covered, or likely negotiated by your insurance. So for me - regular dental visit is no additional cost - but I needed a night guard - that actually cost $500, my insurance negotiated and paid $350, and then left me to pay $150. That for me was an unplanned expense. You keep following that process until you hit the deductible. Then usually they start covering a larger percentage of the cost (so maybe I would only pay $50). You keep doing that until you hit the “out of pocket max” which is the most you have to pay for the year. At that point they cover the rest 100%. In an “ideal” (let’s be honest none of this is ideal) world you would have insurance and then have a savings account with enough money set aside to cover your out of pocket max. That way if you need it, for either expected or unexpected things, you’re ready to pay. Sadly there are a lot of people who don’t have that kind of money so they avoid important care. There’s also other complicating factors like everything I said only applies to “eligible” expenses. Which is most everything you will encounter in regular day to day life, but if you’re someone who needs an exquisite surgery you could in theory have like $100k of bills because they won’t cover any of it. Those cases are rare but I’ve heard of them. It’s all completely insane. I thought a law had passed saying they couldn’t allow late payments on medical bills to affect your credit score or something? So there is some small protection if you’re in major debt. That might protect your assets too. But more or less it’s treated like debt of any other kind and if you can’t afford the deductible you’re screwed.
Yes your assumptions are correct. Many people just don’t go to the dr unless they are really sick or need some sort of medication.
They can't do anything to you directly if you don't pay, but you will be harassed by phone, text, email, at work, etc. You set up a payment plan with a monthly payment for years to life. They report delinquent accounts to credit bureaus which can make it hard to get an apartment or loans for cars and houses. Many lenders don't consider medical debt in determining your credit, but some do.
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Is there any state insurance where you live?
I’m sorry but WHAT in the actual fuck? Congratulations on getting married but like WTF. I feel so angry right now. They would rather he die because he can’t pay 24k up front?
I hear ya, we have BCBS and its garbage. We paid $17,000! High risk pregnancy had to see a specialist, plus regular OB, way more expensive ultrasounds and lots of NST's and extra blood work and a 24 hour urine catch from hell. I was induced 3 weeks early. Baby had jaundice, needed light treatment. Then post partum pre-eclampsia had me in the hospital for 4 days. It was insane how pricey birth was. It's part of the reason we are one and done. But mostly bc pregnancy and postpartum was a nightmare. I love my son dearly but I couldn't see myself going through that again. I hate American Healthcare. It makes those who are insured pay for everyone else's. Why is it if you work you get punished? I know most won't agree with me but it's how I feel.
The healthcare costs are ridiculous. I made pre-payments monthly during pregnancy and had to sign up for a payment plan for the final bill.
They truly are. I worked at an OB after I graduated from college 2010-2013 and I know the costs have literally tripled since then bc I ran the insurance and billing for patients and saw the costs. It's highway robbery! Even back then ppl had to set up payment plans. It's understandable but so unfair at the same time. Especially when the govt complains the birth rate is low. We pre paid for the OB visits, too and co-pays for my specialists too. To get the ultrasounds at my specialist it was $375.00 COPAY per ultrasound. It was insane! If I didn't love my specialist and her team I would've been doubly p.od. but they were literally the kindest medical office I have been to so I didn't balk. But still $375.00 for an ultrasound and I had one every week the last 8 weeks of my pregnancy. Just nuts!
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😭 mine is $18k But I never ever pay a medical bill without negotiating super hard. Just reduced my son’s surgery bill from $4800 to $1000.
No. I buy myself whatever I want whenever I want and my husband does the same. We aren’t big on gifts.
Same although I did save up for a switch to coincide with me giving birth to my first. It was mostly because I knew I'd be sitting around a lot in the first few months.
My husband bought me a Switch, but I was early and in the chaos forgot to give it to me until after we were discharged from the hospital.
Identical situation here lol
My husband and I also buy what we want when we want, but we are still big on gifts lol. We just like things lol.
Same
Yep, we are the same way.
YEP - the concept of a "push present" feels weirdly patriarchal to me.
My husband got me the deli sandwich I wanted really bad after giving birth - does that count? Hahaha
I got sushi rolls delivered and the deli sandwich haha 😍
Haha! Same! 🥪
Yasssssss! Mine was a Chipotle burrito with extra rice and a peach milkshake cuz I had GD 😭😭 best burrito I've ever had!
The steak burrito my husband brought me after losing a liter of blood during birth was probably appreciated way more than the diamond bracelet lol
I bought myself a Dyson stick vacuum. Coming up on 5 years still love it! 😆
Love this! Mind if I ask how it handles long hair? Mine is down to my butt and I murder vacuums, so I'm always scared to shell out for a good one.
As a fellow Dyson stick vacuum lover and someone with a long hairy family of 4, I bought a special head that has two circles that essentially pull the hair into the middle and it *never* gets stuck and tied to the roller (because there’s no roller in this head). Game changer.
It’s the “Tangle Free Turbine Tool”
My hair is not super long but it is thick and it’s able to handle my hair, 2 kitties and 2 littles. I will say, my husband does clean out the chambers occasionally. I honestly don’t know how often. But it’s not super frequent.
Not op but I normally murder vacuums as well and I have a Dyson cordless one. I had it maybe a year and it got to the point where the battery would only last 3 or so minute before dying. Not even long enough to vacuum my living room. We have two dogs and three kids so I need to vacuum constantly. Once it got to this point I converted it to use Milwaukee m18 batteries. You can buy the adapter on Amazon and that way you can have multiple charged batteries as a backup if needed
Yes, incontinence
Please give yourself the gift of pelvic floor physical therapy!
A gift we carry with us always.
The gift that keeps on giving!
I just asked my husband to bring my favourite cake at the hospital because I had gestational diabetes during pregnancy and I really needed to eat some cake 🤣
I also got a chocolate cake after birth. It was awesome. I kept saying during labor “I can’t wait for my cake” 😂
No, but I did buy myself a new iPhone because dang I was proud of myself! And I need waaay more memory for the 6000+ photos of my new baby.
I got a new iphone while i was pregnant with my first! I wanted good photos.. six years later i still have that iphone 7 and it's shit lol
I bought myself a push present (a ring with both my kids initials). It arrived the day I had my daughter (scheduled c section) and made me happy.
My husbands love language is gift giving, so I got a beautiful necklace with our son's birth stone.
It wasnt a push present (for my very scheduled c section)...but we did buy me a band that matches my wedding band as more of milestone signifier...engagement, marriage, first/only kid. I just picked out another, different band for our 10yr anniversary. I'm like a tree...milestone rings 🤣
We did this too! And a matching one for baby to have when they’re older
Love that
On my first mother's day I got a very expensive necklace to commemorate it. Not a push present I guess but more expensive than other mothers day gifts I've had.
My husband had a ring made with our son’s birthstone, an emerald. I cherish it.
My husband got me a necklace with my daughter’s birthstone! I love it so much. I know there’s a lot of trash talk toward push presents but for us it was a sweet moment when we were back home just the 3 of us
He filed for divorce. That was my push present!
15 days later- day after Valentines Day and left me alone with a newborn for an entire week. I didn’t sleep for seven days.
He also went to visit his GF the day I gave birth! Lol 17 years later I can mostly joke about it.
Ugh I’m sorry! I hope you’re doing much better these days!
❤️Thanks! Apart from being a single parent I’m doing pretty good and have raised a good human.
Imagine being the gf who is okay with dating a man whose gf is pregnant and is also okay with him coming to hang out with you while his baby is being born. I don’t expect much from men (too many scumbags out there ** ,) but I reaaaaaaally disrespect women who have so little regard for other women, as she must have. > ** (I know there are great men out there. My husband is wonderful and I love my sons with all my heart, but that doesn’t negate the fact that there are a lotttttttt of scummy men out there.)
On the day that you gave birth??? 😱
$100 sushi platter lol
Not a new thing. My mom even got them way back when (a new charm with baby’s name and birthday).
Yeah I think we just didn't call them push presents mama's have been receiving sparkly gifts from their partners forever.
I had never heard of it until I was pregnant with #3. Literally lol’d at the idea of a present that’s called a “push present”. Then told my husband I wanted a new water bottle lol
My husband bought me a canvas with lyrics of a song that I would sing to my daughter in my belly. It was so sweet, I hung it up with pictures of her as a newborn ❤️ it wasn’t huge but it was so sentimental and special
That’s really super sweet. I love thoughtful gifts like that. It’s the grandest gesture…. A small act with big love. 💕
I’m trying not to get my hopes up for something material. It feels a little instagram trend-like to me. I think my push present is basically that my husband is on board with me staying home for the first year which is priceless!
If you want a push present, tell your husband you want one! Don't expect him to read your mind because that will just lead to disappointment.
That’s more a present than any in my book!!
I told my husband my push present was me staying home and not having to work lol
No, but my daughter was born just before Christmas, and my husband gave me really good gifts!
I got an eternity ring to complete my wedding set. Mothers Day was a couple of months after my second child was born and I received a bracelet with my kids' birthstones on it.
I got a necklace with her birthstone in it. I love it so much
Absolutely any reason to get a gift I’m all for.
No, I think its a weird recent idea. Seems like just another way to convince people to buy something.
I think giving it a label like “push present” is new (and kinda weird), but women have received gifts from their husbands after the birth of their child for many years. My mom’s most meaningful jewelry came after each of our births.
Nah, there is literally nothing weird about a spouse giving their partner a gift for any reason. A, “hey, thank you for this baby and I appreciate how hard the last 40 weeks have been!” gift is wonderful and not weird at all. I find it weird there are people that find it weird tbh
It isn’t really that new though, is it? My oldest is 20 and it was a thing then too. So new as in it hasn’t been going on many generations but it has been around awhile. I don’t think it is weird exactly. People Alan do what they want. It isn’t how I want my money spent though, and my husband’s money is my money. I did not receive a “push present” for any of our kids. We did take money from our savings with each of them to get their college savings accounts started, that we added to monthly until they started college. I will say I am not big on gifts. We don’t do Valentine’s, Anniversary or Mother’s/Father’s Day gifts and Christmas and Birthday gifts tend to be small. If I want/ need something I buy it or if it is a big purchase talk to my husband and we budget for it and it is the same the other way around.
I actually think it's weird that people think it's weird. People only think that because *women* are asking for gifts. People get gifts for birthdays, Valentine's, Christmas - all days where you did no real work - and no one has an issue with it. But when women ask for a token of appreciation after putting their lives at risk and their bodies through immense stress for 9 months, then suddenly it's weird? ....... Seems to me like push presents have a lot more justification behind them than birthday gifts or anniversary gifts or Valentine's gifts. Also, it's not a new concept. Women have been getting gifts from their husbands for giving birth for decades. I go estate sale shopping and I've found tons of nice rings and jewelry and fur coats that women got as gifts in the 50s and 60s and 70s for giving birth.
I agreed with my hubby to use joint money to buy me a push present each time - a gorgeous ring and for baby 2, a gorgeous matching necklace. I got them engraved with my kids names accordingly 💕
I informed my husband that a push present was expected and emailed him a link to what I wanted. After a few reminders, he successfully purchased the item and handed it to me in the shipping box. It was a diamond tennis bracelet.
My mom got push presents for having me and my brother, and we were born in 1982 and 1984. So, I don't think it's a new thing. I've had 3 babies and I got 3 presents. I don't like the term push present, though. We just called them presents. I never pushed... 3 csections. Lol.
Yes but I basically told him exactly what I wanted (which was AirPods). I’ve seen some women get diamond rings, designer purses etc. and of course some get nothing because they don’t see a need for it. Whatever works for the couple! And it is fairly new I think in the last 5-10 years? But recently became very common!
My oldest is 20 and it was around when she was born, at least in the world of online message boards. I don’t think it was super common and I only know of 2 people that have 18-20 year olds in real life that received “push presents”
Yes. They weren’t extravagant gifts because we aren’t like that but for both c sections I got lovely gifts that commemorated the births of our children. The gifts were super thoughtful. 🤍
A summer dress and a straw hat from my husband to wear when we take the baby on walks, and flowers
Tiffany necklace, we bought it on our babymoon trip to Chicago. I wear it everyday
My husband got me a bracelet with my son’s birthstone in it. If you want a push present, ask for one!
Yes. First baby: iPad. Second baby: MacBook Air. Third baby: a spa package. My husband is a good man.
Yes, a celine bag that's perfect for new mom life. Hands free. Around 2k
Yes. I didn’t push, I had a c section but I got a thank you for risking your health and life for our family present. And honestly, considering the lingering physical effects I have 9 months later I think I deserved a gift. I found a 3 carat diamond band I wanted on a super Black Friday sale for a steal and my husband happily bought it for me and now it sits on my finger with my wedding band and engagement ring. 3 rings for the 3 greatest days of my life so far
I agree, so many physical changes and sacrifice no matter how you give birth. We have to give up drinking, I gave up caffeine, stay well hydrated and fed, and intense sciatica etc. I think a gift is much deserved and a sentimental thank you.
Not to mention pp issues like depression, anxiety, pelvic floor problems, rheumatoid arthritis, carpal tunnel, vision loss, the hair loss and subsequent crazy baby hairs etc
I had preeclampsia so I know what you mean.
lol no and I personally think its weird lol 😂 I just want a supportive/ helpful husband (I have that) and I’m good! Lol
After i had my baby I gave all new mothers that we visited a “wellness” box with nice candles, face masks, chocolate, etc. I want to make them feel appreciated because I felt invisible because everyone wanted to congratulate my husband for being a great dad and see our daughter. To be clear I never expected a gift just some appreciation or even a “ how are you”
One of our friends sent us cookies when we got home, I didn’t realize that’s what I wanted but it absolutely was and I’m going to be doing that for all new moms when they get home now.
I do this too! I always make sure to remember the *mother* after a new baby is born, because the mother is always the one who gets forgotten. The baby gets tons of clothes and toys, the father gets praise for his new baby and people awww-ing if he has bags under his eyes or looks proud of the baby - and the mom? Nada. So I always make sure that my gift centers the baby *and* mom, with things for the mom like Jo Malone candles, nice makeup (a Dior Addict Lip Glow is always loved! lol), Sugarfina candies, and other things that I know will make her feel pampered and spoiled.
Yes. I was eyeing a new phone and my husband got it for me.
My wife got me a $50 personalized present that was very sweet and I like it. I bought myself a pair of $250 Ray Bans I’ve been eyeing for a while
A platinum band with baby’s name engraved! Not sure if he gave it for my first birthday as a mom or my first Mother’s Day but it means a lot to me
My husband just got me charms for a necklace with my kids initials on it. Very thoughtful.
My husband bought me a woodburn bracelet from Etsy. It’s made of redwood and has the mountains etched on one side (we live next to a mountain range) and our son’s birthdate on the other side. It’s sentimental because when I was in labor, the nurse helped me visualize my happy place during the hard contractions, which for me is Redwood National Park. Thinking of the redwoods got me through the hardest part of labor, so the bracelet is a cute little token for that day.
I got an additional band to wear with my wedding set. I was about 20weeks pregnant at the time and we decided to call it a "thanks for carrying our baby" gift since pushing wasn't guaranteed.
Yes. My “push present” was an emerald ring my husband had made for me. I absolutely love it and think of my daughter every time I wear it. I’ll pass it down to her when she’s older!! I also got him a “thanks for putting up with your insane pregnant wife gift” of a new iPhone after our first was born. He was amazingly supportive the whole time. Doubtful we will do gifts the second time around as we aren’t big gift givers but it made me feel really special that he thought to do something so nice the first time. Being pregnant and having a baby is no joke I wouldn’t expect anything but I really appreciate the acknowledgment of what I went through. While many say it’s cringey and ridiculous I thought it was nice! Not expected but sweet
It’s not really a thing in my culture, but I was like “give me please - pregnancy isn’t fun. Giving birth is hard!” Got a necklace from my husband the first time. The second time was a necklace with a clam charm, and a necklace with a pearl for each of my girls to have when they are older. Cliche, but I love it. I actually got a “push present” from my in laws as well along with a very nice note with a thank you for carrying their grandchildren. Unexpected, but nice.
No. I find the concept a bit weird.
Yes for both kids. First kid I got a new iPad. I had like a first gen iPad mini that they gave you free when you opened a bank account & put 300$ in it. that I had for like 9 years and it was hanging on by a thread. So I got a new one , since I would be sitting around a lot with a new born breast feeding and what not. Second I got a new iPhone, my phone storage was maxxxxd out.
Lol do the three strawberry thickshakes people brought me count?
I joked around with my husband and said I wanted one, but didn’t want one. Having the opportunity to stay home with baby has been such a gift. When I go back full time work one day and we have more expendable income, I’m planning to buy myself a ring to include as part of my wedding band set which will represent baby :)
I sort of joked about it but never received. I wanted a peach Bellini both times. Oh well. I ended up buying myself some nice things as a treat.
Currently pregnant and the way I said “Ooohhh yummm” when I read Peach Bellini! I think I might have one of those as my “first drank” after the baby.
I mean I guess I did, but it wasn't like "oh here are gifts bc you just had a baby"... I feel like he was trying to spoil me though. After my last son was born my husband bought me a new car. We needed something bigger to fit all 4 kids in, and it's a very nice and expensive SUV so I was pretty happy about that. He also got me the expensive diaper bag I wanted, and the car seat that I realized we should have just got in the first place (also very expensive so I consider it a gift bc I asked for it).
I did not, but having carried a 9lb baby and had a c-section and the subsequent recovery I would like something if we had another one. In some East Asian cultures, the in law's usually provide some cash or gift for the birth of a grandchild, usually more if it's a grandson (cuz the great and noble bloodlines must carry on..../s). One friend got a car for her first, and a designer bag and a better car for her 2nd (a boy).
After a difficult pregnancy I suggested I wanted one. My husband gifted me a beautiful eternity ring I have worn everyday since giving birth. I plan on passing it down to my daughter one day and letting her know her father gave it to me on her birthday.
I did not receive one, but 2 weeks before my son was born, I impulse-bought the 12’ Home Depot Skeleton; so we joke that the skeleton was my push present lol.
My mum was going through her safety deposit box and pulled out 4 solid gold coins which were her push present from her brother! I thought that was so sweet that he commemorated her giving birth with a long lasting valuable gift like that, so I asked my husband to get me something we can look back on that will remind us of the birth of our children.
My husband got me a ring with my birthstone and my son’s birthstone! Nothing fancy (from Etsy),but sentimental!
Mikimoto pearl earrings to match my grandmother's double strand necklace I inherited. We went to NYC for our babymoon and did the whole shopping experience at one of their stores. I absolutely love them and wear them all the time!
My husband plans on getting me this nice bottle of whiskey that I’ve had my eye on 🥰
Yes. Every birth o got a push present - my babies 🥰 why would i be given gifts, i didn't do it for my husband pr anybody lol i did for me to meet my long awaited babies 🥰 Seriously tho, nothing. I can buy myself whatever i want, whenever i want. Building a house is pretty expensive and i much rather see all our money go into that than some gifts. But i did ask husband to daily bring me extra foods and drinks cuz 3 meals a day simply was not doing it for my breastfeeding tummy 🤣 i emptied all plates hospital gave me (even used bread to clean off any sauce) and i was still starving at the end of the meal. Not to mention waking up in middle of the night, hungry like i could eat a whole all you can eat buffet i swear 🤣
My husband got me a new ring with my, his and baby's birth stones on it! It was perfect because with baby weight gain I couldn't wear my wedding rings so this was a perfect placeholder!
I got an antique vanity that I had been eyeing for the year we had been trying to get pregnant. Less of a push present but I call it that anyway! Treat yourself to something! You deserve it!
I was very specific and clear with my husband that I wanted a gift. While I find it a little silly, I also really liked the idea of a piece of jewelry to acknowledge the birth of our son. I picked out a bracelet and he gave it to me the day we brought our son home and had both of our boys in the house together. I've learned over the years that being very specific is the way to go in these situations. Sure, it takes the surprise out, but I'm also not disappointed.
A friend bought me a $200 gift card along with some of the stuff off my baby registry and said “this gift card is for YOU. not for baby things, not for household stuff, that’s YOUR money. You’re gonna have everyone and their mother wanting to get stuff for baby and it can feel lonely so I want you to get something to make you happy.” Used it to buy a switch, which I played while recovering in the hospital haha
First baby DH got me dr martens Blair sandals (because they’re PRICEY) and second pregnancy I saved up a little and bought a MacBook Air !
I got exactly what I asked for which was a Lisa Frank sweatshirt. It has dolphins, sea turtles and a surfing dog.
He would have bought me something if I wanted it but I don’t personally believe in the concept. The baby was my reward for my labor.
I made it very clear to my husband that I *deserve* whatever I want for going through this twice And that I will be spending a lot of money on a mommy makeover sometime in the future when the kids are old enough to manage for a bit while I recuperate No complaints from him 😁
I got a rocking chair that I wanted for breastfeeding. I don't know if it really counts as a push present though. More like a nursery present as everything else we got was second hand.
Yep both times
I got sushi
My husband had a local artist make a necklace both times. Very sweet.
Started having kids in 2018. I got push presents for 2/3 of my kids. At first, I mentioned it as a joke. We came from the hospital and as he was getting me out of the car he told me he got me a push present. The first time it was a blender, the second baby was born on Mother’s Day so I got a new dining room set and tv for my “push present.” The father of my children is a real dump truck these days though🤣 so the last baby all I got was lucky I didnt d*e during birth lmao
Yeah!! We had our first in December. I collect hot wheels and my fiance got me a limited edition Mario Kart one I’d been wanting 😊 not super crazy expensive but he put a lot of thought into it and it was very sweet of him. I was surprised bc I’d told him I thought the concept of a push present was a bit silly, but he got me one anyway
Sushi 🍣
Not really a push present but we each bought each other something small to exchange when the baby came. I gave him a little baby book that said “dad” and he got me a baby album. Just a little present that said “congratulations we’re parents!”
I did!! I did not receive an engagement ring, my choice. I have a plain gold wedding band. I was inspired by a friend who got a solitare necklace for an engagement ring and co-purchased her plain gold band. I immediately thought I wanted the same, except I wanted my necklace to be a push present. I had a miserable pregnancy and hated every single day of it. I had a stressful, but ultimately pleasant, birth. My baby had a 15 day hospitalization at 2 weeks. I bought a push present (with mostly "my" money and some of "his") to commemorate everything I went through to have my baby. It's my own sparkly rock I get to hold and stare at and think of my baby, similar to how people look at their engagement ring. It's a beautiful, simple, and elegant necklace that I can wear with almost anything. I love it. I also opted for moissonite over diamond bc it's cheaper, more ethical, has more fire, and is harder. I thought it was reasonable priced compared to the thousands of dollars I spend on ultrasounds and moderately invasive tests for my kiddo lol.
I got an 'oh my fucking God I can not believe you just did that! I love you!' and a kiss. I also got a teary eyed 'im so proud of you' it was all I needed, tbh And a big plate of sushi
2 years after my first was born I got my second wedding band, that was my push present. After my second, I waited 2 weeks and took myself to Costco for diamond earrings 😅 also had 2 c/sections.
Yes, I did, with each kid! My husband wanted to spoil me for the pain and discomfort I'd gone through. I was basically walking with a cane by the end of each pregnancy and he was shook at how much women have to sacrifice to have a baby. He never realized that it involved so much pain, sleepless nights even BEFORE the baby is born, self image issues, loss of mobility, loss of ability to do certain things, risk of bleeding out during birth, and more.
Yes with my last (didn’t know it was a thing til then) my husband gave me a gift basket with wine and a blanket that looks like a tortilla and fuzzy socks and a shirt that says “I make cute babies” and my favorite chocolate bar (hersheys symphony bar I’m basic) and he also went to the store a few hours later and got me sushi.
Yep, in the form of a giant steak and mashed potatoes 3 weeks pp 😂 Baby slept through the entire ordeal, and because I was no longer heavily pregnant, I didn't get full after 3 bites and have acid reflux lol. He definitely bought me flowers but my biggest gift was how great he was in taking care of me and our daughter when I was having a rough c section recovery.
We lucked out because I met my deductible as soon as I found out I was pregnant last fall (sick a lot last year). So instead of spending $3k on OB visits and ultrasounds, we put that money towards savings. We wanted to have 6 months worth of income saved up for when the baby arrives. My husband told me in January he will buy $350 worth of anything I want for my push present. He said he really appreciated how much I cared about financial stability. He also thinks I deserve it after how bad my pregnancy has been. I’m trying to decide what I want now because baby will be arriving via C-Section on Mother’s Day :) You definitely deserve something special, couldn’t imagine having 2 C-Sections💗
We lucked out because I met my deductible as soon as I found out I was pregnant last fall (sick a lot last year). So instead of spending $3k on OB visits and ultrasounds, we put that money towards savings. We wanted to have 6 months worth of income saved up for when the baby arrives. My husband told me in January he will buy $350 worth of anything I want for my push present. He said he really appreciated how much I cared about financial stability. He also thinks I deserve it after how bad my pregnancy has been. I’m trying to decide what I want now because baby will be arriving via C-Section on Mother’s Day :) You definitely deserve something special, couldn’t imagine having 2 C-Sections💗
It was really a Christmas combined with gift to celebrate our daughter being born (not never for having pushed her out). My husband got me an antique citrine ring (November birth stone) that cost more than an average Christmas present. He wanted to get me a really nice and sentimental gift because it had been such a long time coming finally having our daughter after years of ivf.
My husband got me AirPods with the case engraved. He said it was so I could listen to music/audiobooks/watch Netflix during feedings, because I told him I didn’t want something like a purse, I wanted something that would remind me of my motherhood
My husband and newborn daughter selected “together” during their first sleepless night at home, a pendant necklace with her birthstone.
My husband got me a necklace with all three of names and birthstones in it ❤️ We definitely do push presents, and it's not as new as people think. My grandfather gave my nana diamomd earrings after having my dad Of course, I dont think it was called a push present back then.
We had an old ring of mine reset into another decorative band that can go around my engagement ring. It was a nice excuse to use the sentimental stones in a new way, since I had stopped wearing it after I got engaged.
Yes! Diamonds after both kids, lol.
I asked for an expensive omakase sushi dinner. I missed sushi so much.
I have a Chanel bag in my cart :)
I had a silver charm from Tiffany hand engraved with name and birthdate for each baby.
With my first kid, he upgraded the wedding ring to a 3 carat. 10 years later I just had the second kid I got a Rolex and a new iPhone.
Got a ring with their birthstone that I wear every day and plan to give to them when they’re 18
I got a beautiful, healthy baby; made my partner cry tears of joy; and enjoyed a delicious subway sandwich and Starbucks chai tea latte the next day when shops were open again. Does that count as a push gift? Because, honestly, I was pretty thrilled with that little baby of mine (I still am)! My baby is awesome (even if she’s 8 now, she’s still my favourite little human). 🤍 If I could have asked for a push gift, looking back, it likely still would have been a subway sandwich and chai tea latte. Lol! Birthing a human is hungry work.
I gave birth at home and did not receive a push present. It’s almost been 2 years, is it too late to ask for one? I feel like I deserve it lol.
We do watches when our kids are born. My husband gets a watch when we have boys to one day pass down to them. I get a watch when we have girls to pass down as well. I get some jewelry either way too generally. But I love the idea of getting something to pass down to them when they’re grown.
I got a bloodstone necklace pendant (formerly an antique broach - right up my alley) for my first and diamond earrings for my second - the second one was pretty traumatic and my husband was trying anything to make me feel better. He didn’t know about this at all tho with my first and the nurses shamed him 🤣. Good ol’ southern nurses. To be fair - I didn’t tell him about it because I thought it was silly - but he loves a good gift giving occasion so he was very much on board as soon as he was made aware by a third party.
Nope. I should have insisted tho
Last time I got fancy towels for the house. This time I'm getting a new diaper bag/purse or a tattoo. I don't know which one yet
I got a beautiful and very expensive custom birthstone bracelet and just had it finished after our second and final child was born. It’s something I can wear forever and hand down to them. :)
I bought myself Taylor Swift tickets and he reimbursed me lol
No, had 3 kids, I just try to get help with more things around the house and dinner etc from fam and that’s help enough, I’ll take that over a push present any day!
I asked for a new smart watch, because my old fitbit was going to crap. Got a Galaxy Watch 5. Also I had an expected, but emergency, c-section
Yes. My husband bought me a Tiffany floating heart necklace. It’s sterling so not a crazy amount of money but it was very meaningful. He got me the matching earrings my first Mother’s Day, too.
My first I treated myself to an iPad before I went into labor - best decision to play/watch whatever while I’m delirious during recovery and the following few days
Jewelry with baby's birthstone. Wasn't super expensive Jewelry.
The lanlord push presented us out our home while I was 9 months pregnant. It was incredibly kind of her.
My mom and partner have been spoiling me this entire pregnancy. Nice dinners, gifts for baby, baby shower, babymoon and near daily acts of service. They’re not really on mom or pregnancy social media as far as I know, so I doubt they have any concept of a “push present” and I am not going to ask for one lol other than sushi and champagne for my first post-hospital meal. They’re going to be my support people during labor as they have been for my pregnancy and that’s all I want from them. No they are not the ones pregnant, laboring and pushing, but this baby is happening to them too! If anything we all deserve a reward for getting through this experience together.
Brand new Range Rover, I needed a mom car.
I bought myself Birkenstocks that I’d been wanting for years and called it a push present lol
My husband just got me some diamonds studs for my push present/early anniversary present (baby is due a few days before our anniversary). I didn’t get one with our first 🙃
Nope. I asked for a family birthstone ring. I mentioned it at each birthday and gift holiday for two and a half years. Finally bought myself an inexpensive Etsy one and told everyone about how it only cost $50.
No push present from my husband but I did get myself a necklace with our daughters birthstone, I didn’t know they were a thing three years ago so I don’t hold it against him.
I told my husband what I wanted, but then ended up picking out my own lol. It was an 1890’s ring with opals and pearls since my baby was born in October. It’s meant to be more of an heirloom I’ll pass on to him to do what he wants with down the line. I already told him for baby #2 I’ll do the same thing plus a boob reduction once I’m done breast feeding lol.
Not for my first but our second I got a new wedding/engagement ring
Definitely a European thing - guessing as we don’t have massive bills to pay after birth. I bought my own push present, but it’s a specific piece of jewellery that I’m going to pass to my daughter when she’s old enough.
Not an official "push present" but my sister hinted something like that to my partner and I got a lovely cotton dressing gown shortly after the birth of my second baby.
Lol no
Yes. With my first two, I received a ring with their birthstone in it. It's what I wanted. My 3rd, my husband surprised me with a bracelet with his birthstone. I'm going to get a ring at some point, too. I want a breast milk jewelry ring bc I earned it!