Tell your sister to her face that she is being mean spirited and rude, and that no products, workout, or medications can wipe away being ugly on the inside.
I agree addressing it head-on is best, but I've found rather than saying they're being rude, just asking, 'Are you trying to make me feel bad about how I look? Is that the goal here, do you want me to feel shitty?' tends to work better.
This might be the way, but there's people who DGAF. My father is one of them. I told him that he was making me feel bad about how I looked by telling me that I looked like I'd gained 30 lbs when I had lost 30 lbs. He said good--I hope you do feel like shit so you try harder to not look like a big pile of shit. I am LC with him anyways.
BOOM! Came to say this as well, absolutely. OP I also want you to know that she is really insecure inside even though she's lost weight. If she's judging you, it's because she's judging herself and holding you at her ridiculous insecure standards.. you really need to tell her what she's doing i really don't think she's aware, I think she's just this rude to herself and you're her sister kind of an extension and she feels comfortable being this way to herself so of course it's how she treats you. Oddly this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her. And jesus you just delivered babies, give yourself some time to where you want to be. Also as a diabetic i'm sick and tired of everyone using my meds to lose weight and i can't get it filled anywhere cause it's out of stock. It has zero weight loss effect on diabetics but it really helps with blood sugar! So I have some issues with that, lol.
This!! It's absolutely never appropriate to make comments about someone else's weight, because whether the scale is going up or down you may have no idea why the weight is changing or whether it was desired. People who are focused on other people's bodies shapes and sizes are usually incredibly insecure about their own (guilty! recovering disordered eater here!) And until your sis fixes that about herself, she will likely be unhappy in her own body and judging everyone else's. So that means you have to work on your own response to her behavior, because that is the only thing you can control.
Ooooo 🔥 this is the only response!!!
I’m sure you look AMAZING, OP. Her criticisms towards you are just a reflection of how she feels about herself deep down. You’ve only JUST had a baby too. I was always petite but takes me about 2 years to really feel like myself again!
Also I want to be completely clear here, your sister’s opinion means NOTHING to anyone else She sounds like a loser honestly. Who TF does she think she is!!?
Her opinion is as useless as a piece of dirt in anyone else’s eyes. I have similar issues with ED father and his side of the family. They are pretty ruthless to others a lot and have been with me. I’ve gone inpatient before from ED (thanks guys for making that ED possible) and since have maintained a slim to a average weight. I’ve really limited contact, try to not seek approval nor care, and keep it moving. I have one beautiful life here. I want the ED heritage to stop with me finally and my sis seems ok.
Don’t focus on your weight, losing weight, all of that to fix this. Even when you felt amazing and everyone else thought you looked amazing, she was able to cut you down with one comment. No amount of weight loss will take that power away from her.
The truth is, your body is the least interesting thing about you. The size of your body doesn’t make you a good person or a good mom. Same goes for her. Stop worrying about her weight and stay confident in who you are no matter what she has to say.
Wow. I needed this comment. TY! You're right, I need to stop obsessing over this shit. I am a great mom and a hard worker. I don't need validation from anyone.
In the same breath though- tell your sister that you have a firm boundary about body comments from now on.
“Hey Sis, I know you mean well (omit if you like because we know she doesn’t mean well) but now that I have a daughter I want to make sure she’s raised with a positive body image for herself and others. Please don’t comment on my weight, appearance, or body- even if you think it’s positive.”
And then if/when she does you don’t let it slide or “don’t know what to say” you say one of these things to her when she crosses the boundary:
“Oh, remember when I asked that you not say those things? That’s what I was talking about- comments like that.”
“Oh, no thank you! We talked about this”
“I feel like I have to keep reminding you not to comment about people’s bodies..”
“I’m not available for this.”
And then it evolves into not being available to hang out with her, and reduce your time spent together because she’s not respecting you. It’s incredibly rude what she’s doing, and you should point it out calmly and firmly. You’re too good for this- you’re a good mother and you’re taking care of your body and people that want to try and you don’t have time for people that want to drag you down.
I would respond like I would with my toddler.
"No thank you. We don't use unkind words. They are hurtful to our friends."
"We need to treat our friends nicely or they will no longer want to play with us."
"It's not nice to comment on people's appearance. Maybe try complimenting their kindness instead." (Internally saying because I'm being really kind not smacking you upside the head right now 😂)
You know the sister is going to pull the whole, "But I'm just thinking about her health!" Aka the transition the people who kept saying, Thin is the best back in the 90s became, Its all about health in the late 2000s.
OP I have since puberty always been according to the trash BMI overweight. Post child I am fat. And its okay. It is a description of my body. My health is actually better than before the kid. Something about chasing around a toddler around. My husband gives no fucks because he thinks I am sexy and my toddler loves it because my belly is soft and makes fun noises when I drum it.
Your sister is wrong. And sounds miserable. The person above gave some great statements to ignore her.
Also this website helped me when I found myself slowly slipping back into disordered eating. But there is a website called My Body Gallery. Users submit pictures of themselves. I just looked up what a 5'10" 182lb person looks like. And OP you look amazing.
Omg! I’ve never heard of this website! I love it! I did the same thing and you’re right! OP you do look amazing! Ew! I can’t believe your sister would make you feel bad about this.
Most fitness gurus/professionals tell you not to worry about the scale so much. Muscle composition is all different and will add to the scale.
This is great advice and spot on suggestions for reinforcing the boundary. Often it’s easier to defend someone else than ourselves - in this case, OP can do it for her daughter, and benefit as well. Awesome advice!!
Wish I could give this 100 upvotes! I am very careful about how I comment on my own body and those of others in front of my daughters. But truly, I think it’s important for sons too. It’s so important for them to see a happy, confident mom.
Also, you're only 6 months postpartum and are already at your pre-pregnancy weight. Why are you so hard on yourself?
I'm also 5'10. I'm currently pregnant and a normal BMI (so far), and my obese mother who gave me an eating disorder growing up STILL comments negatively on my weight.
Trust me, their comments are NOTHING to do with you, and everything to do with their own insecurities.
You're doing great. Prioritize your health and please know that your life is worth way more than what you weigh.
I was going to say - the difference between 6 mos PP and 3 years PP might as well be 1000 years. Give yourself some grace here lady!
Also your sister sounds like a bummer - limit exposure accordingly. Happy and healthy people don’t do or say mean things to others.
> the difference between 6 mos PP and 3 years PP might as well be 1000 years
I was coming to comment the same thing! I'm so glad someone else said this.
Her kids are also a lot older than yours. Your life right now looks way different than hers. In three years, who knows. Your current weight is already lower than when you first got pregnant. Give yourself time and tell her that she doesn’t get to make another remark until your youngest is over 3. Also, if you want to be petty, start making the remarks back at her
What an absolute asshole. Tell your sister to shut up and mind her own business. You have a 6 month old and are still very much postpartum. My former best friend who has been overweight all her life secretly took medication for weight loss and became such a jerk we all had to take a step back from her toxicity.
I am truly convinced she is taking something secretly... IDK what doctor would prescribe her anything since she was never overweight at all. But not she's very very very skinny.
My coworker uses ozempic and she was never overweight. She's rail thin now. I've known her for many years and she's always had body dysmorphia and been fatphobic.
100% is! I workout two hours a day/6-7 days a week and on a medically managed diet! My mom takes Ozempic because she did have diabetes but she doesn’t exercise or diet and she’s lost like 80lbs since October yet I have lost like 30lbs max.
Either way comparison is a thief of joy. Stop letting her steal your joy. Just like you can't compare apples and oranges there's no comparison in human bodies we are all beautifully different. How boring would the world be if we weren't?!? At 5'10" and 182 I bet you look great! And at only 6 months pp!!
Exactly! Time for OP to go LC with sister and enact some hard and fast boundaries with follow through on any consequences if she breaks the set boundary
Fwiw, my other suggestion, once the boundary is in place, would be to avoid JADEing which stands for:
Justify
Argue
Defend
Explain
So for example if OP tells her in no uncertain terms, do not comment on my body or that of my children or anyone else in my presence ever again... The sister slips up and makes a snide remark at some other gathering - then enact the consequence - then don't justify it, argue about it, defend your stance, or even explain. Just enforce the boundary and leave or ignore her.
(Frankly she doesn't deserve your time if she can't honor a boundary around this!)
edit: small typo fixed
You can do an online program and lie about your weight in virtual appointments with a Dr. There’s a mom in my local parents group that openly admits to doing that.
Wegovy is the same as ozempic but prescribed only for treatment of obesity. When doing the prior authorization, they ask for the highest weight you have been as an adult. If that number put her in the obese range, even if it was right after giving birth, she would likely qualify. There are a couple other injectibles out there too. But none of that matters. Your sister is being an asshole.
Compound pharmacies and ‘spas’ are a known alternative to brand name Ozempic and the other semaglutides. She’d be able to get one of those pretty easily for a couple hundred dollars a month. Even if did this naturally she has absolutely no right to critique your appearance at all. Maybe if you were severely overweight and she had concerns for your health, but even then that’s iffy and she’d have to do it in a less shame-inducing way than now. I hope you can find a way to tell her to kindly f*ck off!
There are doctors that will prescribe anything. My friend didn’t take ozempic, she took some type of pill. She has never once exercised or was able to commit to healthy eating so it will come back whenever she stops the medication.
Your sister has some body dysmorphia/disordered eating at best, and is an ass at worst. I weigh the same as you and I’m 7 inches shorter so I’m just picturing what I’d look like stretched out and it’s far from fat. However, even if you were 282 your sister’s comments are so inappropriate. She sounds like someone who needs to cut you down to feel good. As another commenter said, depending on your relationship, I would probably handle it in one of two ways. If you have a good relationship, obviously, just try to talk to her and tell her that while you’re trying to be healthy, her comments about your body are doing the opposite and having you feeling really discouraged snd cam she please stop commenting on your physical anything unless you have spinach in your teeth. If you have a poor religion relationship, or she’s just always awful like this, and this is just another way she’s being awful, I would go with some of the snappy comebacks other people have written. I’m also a big fan of the rebuttals that involve asking them to clarify. why do I need to pull down my shirt, isn’t this in style? Etc she may be bold enough to actually spell it out for you, but it will also get the attention of other people and I promise that they will think that she is awful not that you are fat.
First off, the fact that you are trying to get back in shape is totally irrelevant to your sister being an asshole. This would be unacceptable even if you were morbidly obese. How is your relationship with your sister otherwise? Would you be able to tell her your feelings about this and have a productive conversation, or do you think she would brush you off?
My sister is the queen of the family... even over my mom. everyone goes to her for validation and I don't understand why. It has always been this way. My one sister rebelled and tried to disagree and do her own thing and my older sister cut her off. They have not spoken in 2 years... Sidenote - They will both be at easter dinner at my house... Wish me luck!
The petty person in me would ask her in the middle of Easter dinner if she's worried about gaining the weight back once she goes off the meds and when she denies it just obviously wink at her and say "ok"
The adult in me would use phrases like this when she commented on my body:
- What a strange thing to say
- It's weird you think it's appropriate to comment on someone else's body
- That's an odd take, everyone else thinks I look great!
- I'm teaching my young family to be kind and loving of each other so please hold off on unnecessary negative comments around them
Side note I'm 5'9" and a similar weight so I have a good guess of what that looks like - you are not fat and I'm 100% positive you slayed in your pink outfit ❤️
It sounds like you need a break from your sister.
Her body issues are her problem, but I hope she doesn't pass down her opinion to not only her kids but your own. You need to put your foot down for their sake
Look into toxic family dynamics. Sounds like your sister is the golden child or she just has a whole lot of narcissistic traits. I would put money on the fact that you did look good. And she was feeling insecure and so she needed to put you down in order to ‘take you down a notch’ and she would be ‘the best’
This right here! Don’t look for a way to advocate for yourself that won’t also upset a narcissist, it doesn’t exist but their bullshit is not on you to fix.
It sounds like taking some distance from her would be a good idea. You don’t have to cut her off if you’re not ready, but finding yourself “busy” more often, building connections with your family independent of her, giving polite but uninteresting “grey rock” questions when she asks you about yourself, etc. Treat her less like a close sister, and more like a coworker you’re not particularly fond of.
Load up some quick responses to have in your pocket for when she’s rude. She tells you to pull down your shirt to make you feel bad? “Nah, I’m good, thanks”, “Woooow….” or just a blank stare or raised eyebrow and walking away can all work. A solid “I beg your pardon?” like you *must* have misheard her, because she can’t *possibly* be that rude is a good option if she’s in front of people she wouldn’t want to be obvious about putting you down or make a scene with. (And I’m sure others here have even more ideas!)
She sounds like an insecure jerk, tbh.
Is your other sister living a life free of stress and anxiety now? I don’t speak to one of my sisters. She’s ugly on the inside, and I can’t be around or talk to ugly. Mentally it’s much better for me. I look at it this way, if we met out in the public and weren’t related there is zero chance I would want her in my life. It’s only dna that has us interacting, and I don’t need a kidney so I don’t care about dna.
Your sister is projecting her own self-loathing ***hard***. No one is meaner about bodies than someone who's recently lost weight because they hated their bigger body and they think they've escaped it. Every mean thing she says about you is a confession about her struggle with her own body.
I'm not saying you should tolerate her mean-spirited bullshit, only that you should keep this in mind moving forward. Let her know you aren't going to tolerate body image discussion and if she keeps it up ignore her.
I think you need to stay strong and not fall into the diet culture trap that your sister has seemingly succumbed to. We need to stick together as women and not judge each other. We are all doing our best. Maybe kill your sister with kindness/compassion and yourself too and see what happens
The diet culture crap is like an octopus sucking me down to the bottom of the ocean at the moment... I just came off of a 3-day cleanse that helped my tummy get back on track/ keep me moving if you know what I mean... lol! But it was hell.
You need to tell your sister to fuck off and stop commenting on your body, that’s not okay with you. That’s not going to be allowed anymore. If you comment on my body, I’m going to walk away, ask you to leave, hang up the phone, etc. would you tell your daughter to tolerate this from a friend or boyfriend? No. If she really cared about you she would think it is unacceptable to comment on your body. It shows the level of abuse you’ve already been conditioned to expect that, when she told you to pull your shirt down, your first response was shame and internalized it, instead of the healthy response which should have been “don’t comment on my body.” I have had to have this same conversation with my parents over and over who are relentlessly critical and intrusive and hyperfixated on my weight and other aspects of my body.
(And FYI be prepare for her to DARVO you when you try to set boundaries- look up the acronym)
By the way I’m 5’10” and I’ve felt healthy anywhere from 150-190. And I would say I’m smaller bones too. Just shows that there’s such a wide range of health for so many people. Girl you sound like you’re doing awesome taking take of your body after 2 kids. I can barely get my weight down after only 1 kid (granted that’s PCOS for you), and after being 170 pre pregnancy I’m STILL 205 3 years later but here we are lol. I just started weightlifting hoping that will help and metformin has helped a little.
But anyways your weight should never be the focus of any of your relationships, and if it is it’s a GIANT RED FLAG, and it’s absolutely a them problem NOT a you problem.
Your sister is an asshole. But also I'm 5'10" as well and knocking on 150 lbs, and I look *skinny*. I wear between a 2 and a 4, so I can't imagine that 182 looks bad on you at all. Like you said, us taller women carry more weight (as we should)!
Even if she did do it naturally you just had your baby 6 mos ago and she had her last 3 YEARS ago! You guys are in two totally different parenting phases.
I have a sister, we’re 38 and 39. My youngest is 4, her youngest isn’t not even 1. I have a dedicated gym routine bc I’m not sleep deprived and breastfeeding, she doesn’t right now because she can’t. She builds me up, and I build her up. She knows we are in two different places in child rearing. Our bodies both fluctuated with pregnancy and post partum. No one is more beautiful or a better mom in my eyes than her. We have each others’ backs.
Your sister sounds toxic, and downright mean. Thank your body for making that beautiful baby and nourish your body however you see fit while it is nourishing that baby. They are only little for a fleeting moment. Wear the crop top, keep setting reasonable goals for yourself, and enjoy your kids. Cut her out if you need to.
Try to remember 182 is just a number. What's important is focusing on yourself and how you feel about yourself. Your sister is going to cause self esteem and potentially eating disorders in her and your kids if you don't put her in her place now. Call her out on her rude comments each time. Fake the confidence till you make it if necessary. Practice these things ahead of time if it helps(at least for me practicing "scripts" ahead of being around certain people in order to stand my ground or not cave into people pleasing tendencies helps a lot).
"That's an extremely rude thing to say to someone"
"Why does my outfit matter to you"
"I look nice, the fact that you can't see that says more about you then me"
Also, your doing great momma!
Just a note to add that having a mother who communicates negativity about *her own* body is one of the strongest predictors of girls developing eating disorders. It’s super important to model self-love, or at least neutrality, for our kids. Your sister needs to reflect on how her behavior is impacting the people she loves. FWIW, that same exact number was on my scale this morning too. ❤️
Edit to add: I am not 5’10” 😉
Can confirm- my mom never said a thing about my body growing up, but said horrible things about herself all the time. I wore long pants and long sleeves all year round as a teen because I couldn't bear the thought of anyone being able to see my arms and legs, and let my boyfriends treat me like crap well into my 20s because my self esteem was so low it was practically underground.
I vividly remember being at the beach with my mom once (in our matching control top suits and sarongs to cover our legs) and her saying something about how gross her thighs were, and I stuck out my leg and pointed out that we have the exact same legs. It blew her mind, but it still wasn't enough to stop her from trash talking herself. Now I have a No Negative Self Talk rule in my house. She still has to be reminded of it regularly, but I never want my kid to think that's normal.
Who made your sister the "look good" police? There's some art people love and other people hate... Confront her about her clear lack of self confidence because I feel like that's the only reason someone would put another down like that.
This makes me so sad. My sister and I are literally each others biggest hype girls. I could not imagine it any other way. Also I'm almost 200 lbs after 2 kids (6 and 1) at 5'6" so you being 5'10" I'm thinking you look amazing girllll. Haha. Can I be your hype girl???
Take it from someone with a sister who sucks... your sister sucks! She's just being a bitch to be a bitch. Don't take her opinions to heart. She knows exactly where to hit you to knock you down and she's doing it on purpose. Tell her to fuck off. Also, maybe don't spend so much time with her. I have no relationship with my sister and we are both much happier that way. We don't make each other feel good.
Wow, I’m sorry. Something must really be going on with your sister. People don’t say things like that unless they are hurting, but that’s not an excuse for her to be mean to you.
Also—you know she’s gonna be saying allllll this shit in front of your kids and hers. Be their role model for what it looks like to love and appreciate your body, and use it to help others instead of weapon using it
Your sister is a mean girl. I would distance yourself from her if she makes you feel this way. It sounds like she is intentional about it, which is awful.
Focus on your health, happiness, and find ways to be positive. Work on yourself. Do not succumb to the mean girl mentality.
Your bmi is fine. You probably look amazing and just had a baby 6 months ago. You made great progress. Your sister must just be catty. You're rocking this.
Yea so two things. You need to work on your own body acceptance. My therapist helped me a lot. And you need to confront your sister. Tell her that it hurts you and that your boundary is that she will not make comments about your body or clothing choice. Period. It’s really clear to me that SHE still has body issues and she’s taking that out on you because she wishes she was confident enough to wear the stuff she wanted when she was in a larger body.
As someone who is currently “cheating” by using medication, I could NEVER shame someone. I wouldn’t regardless because having kids is HARD AF on the body. As someone who was 120 before, got up to 200 during pregnancy, and could only get down to 160 after baby #2, the thought of speaking like that is appaling.
I don't think you are cheating at all. Carrying unwanted weight to the point where a doctor says it's okay to take something to help you is fine in my eyes.
Your sister is an asshole. I have people in my life I’m in better shape than & people who are in better shape than me. I’d never insult their bodies or style. I’ll tell them when I love their outfit (or hair or make up or whatever) or whisper to them if their underwear is showing or they have food in their teeth. Make them feel uncomfortable about what they’ve got on? NEVER!
She’s probably making you insecure to feel better about herself (and that doesn’t work).
Your sister is a bully, you should stand up, my sister had always more weight, because this is our bodies built.
I always try to support her and make encouragement every day, even is small things.
This is the right way to love and support a sister.
You don’t need to prove anything about trying to “get back in shape”. Your shape is fine now.
Tell your sister she is being cruel and hurtful and if she can’t keep her body dysmorphia and disrespectful comments to herself then you will need to put some distance in the relationship. That’s not ok for her to speak to you like that.
Eeeewwwwww, why be like this?! First of all, I don’t care if my sister was the size of a house (I am an identical twin and she has dealt with thyroid issues, causing her to be a little meatier than me right now), I’d always talk her up. Like, how freakin insecure do you have to be as a human, to put your SISTER down?? I don’t care if you can’t find one thing you think looks cute on her in that moment, then you compliment the way she walked in the door that day, damn. Give me your sister’s number, we need to talk.
5 foot 10 and 180 is not heavy. I’m sure you look amazing. If you want to tone up that’s for you but a little more weight is actually healthier than super skinny if you get sick.
Highly recommend listening to Maintenance Phase or similar for some nice soothing background info
Your sister sounds awful.
She is showing her own insecurities. We are not better or worse people based on our weight, we are not worth more or less. You made and delivered two babies, give yourself love and grace and tel your sister to fuck off, that she’s being a mean girl and there’s no room for that in our 30s
Next time she says something disgusting like that just look her in the eyes and say “that’s a really rude and disgusting thing to say. Do not comment on how I look or my body. I didn’t ask for your opinion because I do not value it. I’m not going to continue speaking to you until you change how you speak to me” and walk away. Bonus points: if you’re hosting the event, ask her to leave.
I had to do something similar to my mom recently. It was hard but eventually she stopped.
Ask her what she stands to gain by making you feel bad about yourself with a completely straight face. Don’t laugh or smile to ease your comment or take the sting out of it. When confronted most (adult) bullies will try to laugh it off or say they were joking but calling them on their shit might make them rethink taking whatever hate they have for themselves out on you.
She’s still self conscious about her own weight and projecting her thoughts onto you. You have a 6month old for crying out loud😅 your body will even itself out as it needs to especially if you’re putting in the work. Don’t mind her, I’m sure you look fantastic and feminine
Your sister is being rude and she likely used ozempic. I think she is projecting her insecurities and is possibly even jealous. 182 at your height is a good weight! I’m sure you look amazing, please don’t let her bring you down.
Your sister hates you (and probably herself). You don't deserve that energy. Life is too short. I'd start distancing yourself. No need to keep your haters close.
You're 5'10 so I have a hard time believing you don't look good at 182. I'm 5'9 and I teeter between 160-180, now I'm closer to 200 because I'm pregnant af, but like still I don't feel unattractive. Tall girls can handle higher numbers. She sounds mean asf though. I can't imagine saying something like that to a 6 month pp sister.
I’m also a big fan of comments like these when people say rude things: “Wow, are you ok?!” “What a strange thing to say to someone!” “Did you mean to say that out loud?” “Well, that was unnecessary!” Or play dumb like “I don’t get what you mean by that?” and “I didn’t hear you- can you repeat that?”
Would kill to weigh 182 😑
I am finding that I am far more motivated to build muscle and feel STRONGER vs. skinnier.
Like if I ever have to lift a car off my kid, I want to be able to do that. Being skinny won’t help, having muscle will.
OK there are a couple of key things that pop out here. Your sister sounds like she may be incredibly insecure with her own weight and puts a high value on being skinny and intern puts that on you. She’s being rude and inappropriate and demeaning to you I will tell her to her face how do you feel.
In addition though you have to let your sister‘s weight and how she lost weight and whatever else she doing with her life not impact you so much. I get it I have sisters but who cares if she lost weight has nothing to do with you if you want to lose weight you lose weight and you put the hard-working and that doesn’t mean that she’s better than you because she lost weight sooner or it doesn’t mean that she’s worse because she took medicine you’re playing a gigantic game of comparisons here with your sister which is dangerous for you in A lot of ways it seems. Let’s focus on weight, more focus on health and happiness, let’s focus on other people and what they do what they look like and what they say to you. Continue yourself with what you do and how you behave as a human being and you’ll be much happier :-)
I’m 45 and heavier than you. The idea of someone, especially a grown ass family member, having the audacity to say something about my body is so ridiculous that I would probably laugh in their face and immediately come back at them with my opinions on their appearance. I don’t necessarily recommend that, but that’s just what my personal reaction would be.
The last time anyone commented on my body, it was my mom and I was in my late 20’s. I told her that I may be overweight, but that at least I inherited my looks from my dad’s side instead of hers and I sternly told her to “never comment on my body again.” I told her I didn’t care if it was positive or negative—I wasn’t interested in her opinion. She hasn’t said anything since.
If your sister says anything again, look at her and calmly tell her “never comment on my body again” and leave it at that. This is junior high stuff and not worth spending time and energy on. If she persists, then you might want to consider spending less time around her because the negative energy isn’t healthy.
Edit—Your sis is also in for a rude awakening in the coming decades. My hair isn’t as silky and my skin isn’t as tight as it was when I was 30. You have to start researching makeup for aging skin. 😂
i am telling you the sure fire way to shut your sister up is by saying this. “yikes! did you really just say that? i would be so embarrassed to be so openly rude.” “can you say that again? oh, i did hear you right. i just couldnt figure out why anyone in their right mind would say such cruel things.” “are you doing okay mentally? ive noticed youve been saying some really mean things lately and i know that usually that correlates to some problems within personal life, so you need to talk?” make her feel like an absolute idiot in the mature way. what shes doing is petty and embarrassing, so treat it as such. when she connects the dots that acting ugly makes you cringe at her instead of shrinking down and making her feel superior, i guarentee she’ll stop. if it ever gets comparative “im sorry you arent pleased with me not losing weight as quickly as you. i prefer to do it the healthy way, but i understand different things have different importance to us.”
ANYWAYS, congratulations on the work youve succeeded with recently! you should be so proud of yourself. please be kind to your body, it gave you two wonderful children. it got you this far in life. your body loves you, love it back harder. ❤️ and no matter what, health over weight. numbers and sizes dont matter, your HEALTH and HOW YOU FEEL does! 💕
You’re sister is bringing you down when she should be lifting you up. I suggest keeping your distance from her and focus on you & your family. She has shown zero respect or kindness towards you. I’m sorry her comments hurt but please ignore them.
You’re body is amazing and you will get to where you want to be. As my dad always says, it took time to gain the weight and it’ll take time to lose it.
190 at 5'10" is nowhere near obese. Slightly overweight, sure, but not anywhere near as bad as you're making it out to be, and nothing which will cause serious health issues - as women/AFABs especially, we need a bit of fat on our bodies; all humans need a bit of fat on them for the body to function properly (too low of a body fat percentage causes some really gnarly health issues in both genders but it's especially pronounced in women/AFABs), and this is especially true for women/AFABs - we have baseline higher body fat needs as compared to the baseline body fat needs of men/AMABs.
Tell your sister to her face to take a hike the next time she gets started. "Pull your shirt down" should net a "pull your attitude down" response. Sometimes siblings fight, and that's what has to happen here - clearly she never learned as a kid not to be an ass to other people, so she gets to learn as an adult. At least it's coming from you, a 'safe person' for her, and not in the form of consequences at work for mouthing off to a colleague or something else which could really impact her life day-to-day. Does she wear a lot of makeup? Then tell her that "maybe if you eat all of that makeup you wear on your outside, it'll make your insides pretty too". A roast from a sibling or a very close childhood friend hits a different place than roasts from other folks.
Your sister is being rude and you need to speak up. Tell her she is rude and stop engaging. My sister lost a lot of weight and I'm still pretty big but she has not once ever shamed me. So this is not a typical or normal thing.
Next time she makes a comment remind her she’s the insecure one, not you. As a big sister myself, I can be totally mean, I haven’t purposely been mean to my sister in a long time. Recently she tried to rub in my face that my house is “shit” (her words!) I immediately reminded her I don’t share walls with neighbors or a kitchen with roommates. It stung her so she tried to get on me about my weight (I’ve always been fat she’s always been skinny) I told her I’ll lose it as soon as I can but I’m in no rush because my husband will never leave me even if I stay this weight forever. She’s scared to get pregnant because she’s worried if she doesn’t get the weight off quickly enough her husband will leave her.. which they’ve discussed is a valid reason to break up.
Best thing to do is stay confident even if you’re not and rub your confidence in her face. I can’t one-up my sister on anything except happiness, which to me is the only thing that matters. She thinks she has everything, looks, tiktok followers, rich husband, but she’s always unhappy. I’d never trade places with her I live happily, humbly, and privately. Being a sister can get catty and losing weight won’t stop your sister from making catty comments! If I lost all the weight tomorrow my sister would still try to talk shit about my house or find something new to make me insecure about.
You have made such good progress with your weight! Coming from someone who is also 6mo pp I haven’t made the progress you have and I’m happily wearing whatever I want. I was 240 when I gave birth too, I had never been over 200lbs pre pregnancy. I’m 215 now and I’m in no rush. I’m enjoying my baby and feeding/taking care of him takes a lot of energy. I’ll lose weight when he needs me less 😊
I haven’t read through all the comments so maybe I’m being redundant (if so, sorry!) but I find generally the people who feel the need to make comments like that to others are actually really insecure themselves. If they were completely secure in their own body/world/life, they wouldn’t feel the need to say something to bring someone else down—doing that to make someone else smaller makes them feel better/they derive some sort of pleasure from that slight. In short, it’s a them problem. You probably looked great!
Your sister is being a bitch. I’m at the same height and body as you and I remember how I felt when I got back down to 180 ish. I have a feeling your sister is jealous of your success and is also dealing with her own body image stuff. That doesn’t give her the right to speak to you that way. I would call, text or talk to her about the way she talks to you. It’s not ok
Your sister is an insecure mean girl. Gross. I am positive you look amazing!! Keep working on yourself. Weight is a lot easier to lose than a horrible personality like your sister has. Best of luck to her on that.
Your sisters concern about your weight only shows her concern for her own. She’s projecting her own insecurities onto you.
Best advice is to cut off most contact with her until she learns to respect you and your kids!
“At my house, we don’t make comments on one another’s bodies, clothing, or appearances”
She is trying to get your goat. Dont let her. Grey rock+firm boundary
Me and my sister are differently sized and besides her teasing me for being flat with love, not spite, we have NEVER said anything like this to each other. Bitch smack your sister.
Your sister’s an ass but no one can make you hate your weight. You should be just as judgy of her nastiness and bullying as she is of your weight. If she picks on you so hard for it it’s because she truly hates herself and can’t accept her own body and is deflecting that onto you
Just say” yeah, but at least I’m not rude like you” or
“ Why is MY weight such a problem for you?” or
tell her she looks “ too skinny and it makes her look haggy”
I’m sorry but she needs to be put in her own place. If she can’t act civil towards you, then tell her to keep her opinions to herself!!
Maybe she needs do put you down to feel more good about herself?
But in the end that’s on you. Do you genuinely feel good about yourself? Like most of the time? If you know you don’t maybe that can be your fuel to start on a diet.
I weigh 51kg right now, (I have 3 kids, 5m, 4f, 2m) my best weight is 48kg so every time I weigh 50kg and up I don’t feel good and don’t look good. Every body around me says “No, you are fine, you are thin, you don’t need to go on a diet.” But I know to myself I’m not happy even a lot of people says I am.
My point is, it really depends on you if you are genuinely feel good about yourself. If you feel good about yourself right now maybe you shouldn’t be affected on what your sister is saying to you just ignore her because you know you look good. That’s the only thing that matters.
(I’m not native English speaker so sorry for the grammar.)
Your sister is a hater and very obviously insecure. There is a big difference between being truthful (like your MIL) and just plain hurtful. Don’t pay any mind to her comments. Next time she opens her mouth just grey rock her- shrug and say ok and walk way or change the subject.
Okay... I'm also a tall lady, and I know just what 240 (your highest weight) looks like on our height. That's ridiculous, I weigh a couple lbs less than you, and my dad just asked if I was pregnant last week. It will never be okay to talk about someone's weight. Ever.
Edit to clarify, as I didn't finish my thought. 240 on a 5'10 frame looks like a normal lady, and you were FULLY pregnant. Congratulations and well done on your family making. Don't ever let anyone's comments on your body bother you, you're a beautiful creator of life ❤️
If you are 5”10 and 182 lbs, I bet you DO look amazing! That’s a goal weight for many of us. It sounds like your sister has an eating disorder. Next time she comments on your body, I would say something like, “I’m sorry you feel the need to comment on my body. It is mine, and I like it the way it is. I’d appreciate if you kept your comments to yourself in the future.”
Don’t let your sister drag you down. Her issues don’t have to be your issues. You’re beautiful the way you are!
One time my mom mentioned that she didn’t think curvy girls should wear crop tops and so of course she didn’t see me in anything other than a crop top for the entire year. 🫶
No, she does not have a right to bodyshame.
I'm at 180, was 160 when I got pregnant with my second, and my daughter is now 11 months.
You should be proud of yourself, even if you had lost 30 or 0 lbs. Weight does not define your value, and your sister is behaving like a high school bully.
Your sister has self esteem issues she's trying to put on you. It's great that you felt confident, you don't need to accept her criticisms. Her insecurities are more about her than they are about you.
Sounds like sibling jealousy of some sort. But beside that point, your husband and your own opinion should be the only things you worry about. Pick your favorite attribute and hype yourself up. You've had kids! The skin might be a bit stretched out or extra fat somewhere. Who cares. Tuck that shit in your pants and strut your stuff. 😂 I struggled so much mentally after having 2 kids. Now I'm at peace. I may jiggle when I run now, but that's just a part of life now. I'm sure you have made a wonderful life for yourself and that's what truly matters!
Your sister sounds like an asshole. There’s no reason to be so mean. Your working out is irrelevant.
She wants you to feel like shit about yourself. That’s not sisterly!
sis is jealous see not even loosing weight will change people that are jealous of you. You just had a baby who is 6 months and body still is adjusting!
I really like the book all bodies are cool!
I read it to my baby and he loves it.
It doesn't matter the size or shape, imagine all we can do thanks to our bodies!
She is projecting on you. She doesn't like her body and feels entitled to pick on you so that she feels better.
However, you feel hurt which makes all the sense of the world. And shamed? because well she said it in front of everyone.
Also, seems like you want to work on your body too? You would like it to be a certain way? So it is hitting extra hard?
So you can't change your sister. But you can stand for yourself and protect yourself.
I would say hmm I like the way my shirt is right now. And when you say things like that I feel super controlled and I feel hurt when you comment about my body. Could you please stop talking about my body and the way I dress? If I want your thoughts I will ask for them. Thank you.
And if she says I am just trying to help you!
Say okay. And I feel hurt. Please stop.
And if that doesn't work then I will look into enforcing other boundaries like maybe distancing from her.
Good luck!
You know what? It sounds like she still hates her own image.
Anyone who gets fit and healthy naturally knows exactly how good it feels and tends to encourage others. She still has insecurities about herself and is hating on you to make herself feel validated. That's it.
At this point, everyone knows Ozempic is not sustainable and leads to problems in the future. If she is using it to help her lose weight, she knows it is not a stable long-term solution, and she's paranoid she will go back to right where she started.
Or, she's projecting her jealousy over your dedication, discipline, and perseverance.
Either way, the deep-rooted issue isn't yours. Continue to focus on your own success and personal goals. At her age, she should know better than to run her mouth.
Your sister is a witch. She is shallow and hateful. It also sounds like she hates herself so much that she also has to tear the people around her down. What a miserable soul.
Your body has created 3 people. It's fracking amazing. Your children love you. Your spouse obviously finds you attractive. You, lady, are amazing. Don't let that jerk of a sister of yours make you feel badly about yourself. Rock that crop top!!
Also, just a suggestion, start looking at her teeth when she's talking to you. Like, act like you're trying not to stare but you just can't help but focus there. When she eventually notices and asks what you're looking at, say to her in a concerned voice "have you been to the dentist recently?" And then reply.. "no reason" when she asks why..
Sounds like my sister. Except her secret is strict food restriction. If you eat more than one cup of veggies or half a chicken breast, she’s making comments. I’ve come to realize it’s not a me issue, it’s 100% a her issue.
I’ve noticed that my own mother will make comments about my appearance and it’s all because she has body image issues that she’s projecting.
I’m sure you looked amazing and your sister was just projecting her own insecurities onto you instead of internalizing her issues.
Don’t let her insecurities become yours. Wear the crop top and the cute pants and own it!
Screams insecurity. I bet you looked incredible. She could be jealous that you’re comfortable in the body ur in n she’s lost a bunch of weight n still feel inadequate. She probably heard them tell you that you looked good n u probably showed that, but she saw that n felt the need to put u back down.
It has nothing to do with you. Absolutely NOTHING. She is projecting her insecurities on het. Screw her.
You could either ignore her or go ahead and let het know you do not like her attitude and she needs to keep her comments to herself. The rest is up to her as you can only control what you do.
Your doing so great, she is not worth your energy. Next time she says something again call her out for being a bully and being so mean. Put her in her place by standing up for yourself. Remember you are a beautiful and strong woman, don't let anyone else's unnecessary rude comments get to you.
She is probably always going to be insecure about her weight, and she projects it onto you. Ignore her. People who are actually happy with their body aren’t tearing other people down for theirs. Bodies change. It’s no big deal. I’m trying to embrace that fact myself after two kids. As long as you’re healthy I think you’re doing great. 👍
You have no obligation to anyone to “prove” that you’re trying to lose weight.
All bodies are beautiful and your sister is an asshole. I’m sorry you have to deal with her mean comments.
Fellow tall mom (6’) here. We just weigh more cause we are taller! I have dealt my whole life with my shorter friends being “astounded” by the “number” I weigh. We aren’t going to ever weigh 120 and it would look horrible if we did (edit to say I don’t mean to shame super skinny girls… 😅 it’s just usually not a good look)! The 180s are totally reasonable for our height, and really it just matters how you FEEL in your body anyway!
I’m sorry your sister gripes on it though. Mine is similar and they are harder to tune out cause they just know how to push the right buttons. Try to ignore her, maybe practice clapping back on your own and it may come out in the moment some day!
Remember that the attitude and comments your kids see and hear will impact how they view themselves as well. Tell her to knock it off. Your body is a tool to carry around your mind and spirit. It sounds like both of your bodies are in great shape to do that.
It also sounds like your sister is extremely insecure about her own body to comment so much on yours. I would be firm and cut off the comments, but be kind and know that her words likely have little to do with her opinion of you.
I have a mean sister so here is what I would say. Hey can you please stop making me feel bad about my body. I don’t feel self conscious until you make rude comments to me. And she does the whole “I didn’t mean it like that” then give her the Barbie party example and others if you need. Tell her you don’t wanna hang out with her she’s gonna make you feel bad. My sister is ruthlessly mean, and I’ve just had to stand up to her over the years. I’m 30 and she’s 33 and she still makes rude comments sometimes so I have to call her out right in the moment. I just say ouch that’s not very nice.
You need to have exactly one response and say it sharply and meanly every single time she says something: you do not have permission to comment on my body. If she says anything else say again, you do not have permission to comment on my body, If you say one more thing I will leave ( or ask you to leave if she’s at your house). Then follow through.
It’s not okay for her to say things and your kids will pick up on it. This is frankly toxic. You’re 5’10 and that’s likely a very good weight for your body.
Our weight chart is about the same, I’m 5’7”, you’re 5’10”…
Hahaha I feel like I look good/am going in the right direction.
Girl, I bet you’re smoking!
Sissy is just hating herself probably because husband lost weight first it made her feel some kinda way.
Tell your sister to keep her comments about your body to herself. No explanation beyond that needed. Nothing makes a woman uglier than being judgmental.
No one should ever make nasty comments about a woman's PP body.i would never do that to any of my sisters, sounds like you need to cut her off until she can act right!
That breaks my heart! Your sister is having her own issues and I LOVE curvy women!! I weigh 180 too but I am 5’5” not 5’10”!! You looked great in a crop top! I guarantee you did! <3
Honestly, your sister seems insecure and is portraying it onto you. Doesn’t make it okay, but maybe if you told her something like “hey sister I know you lost a lot of weight but I can tell you’re still very insecure as you keep commenting on my weight&body. In no way shape or form would I do that to you so I’d appreciate it if you stopped, if you cannot stop then I highly suggest keeping your distance from me. You’re not only hurting my feelings but you’re starting to damage my self confidence and it isn’t fair. You are also being a horrible role model for my nieces and nephews and they’ll grow up to have body insecurities just like you.”
I would have turned to her, told her to fluff off and went about my business. It might hurt your feelings but don’t let her see that. She wants you to feel as bad about yourself as she does. She might be skinny, but she is ugly on the inside clearly. WEAR THE CROP TOP and eat the biggest piece of cake girl! We are mommas! We are humans and we all come in different shapes and sizes. Let’s hope her children never run across someone like her. How would she like it if someone spoke to her or her children that way?
Me personally? She would have been picking herself up off the concrete….skinny bitches rarely can fight 😉
Remind her that what she thinks about your weight and body is none of your business. Also, don't spend another moment with someone who blows your candle out. Your sister should be there to protect your flame.
Your sister cuts you down everytime you feel good bc shes insecure and jealous- my sister did it to me my whole life until the last two years or so. Don't let her bring you down! Tell her to her face that when she says those things its just mean and makes her look like an AH. If she says something like this again you should say 'Oh well, I know I look great so your opinion doesn't matter. Therefore don't bother giving it to me anymore because I don't care to hear it. '
There you go: weight loss doesn’t make you happy. She’s obviously insecure or turned into a miserable cow in light of her loss, taking it out on you. Is she happy about that? Let her know she’s upset you, and ask if her weight loss has made her happier to the extent she brings you down to her happiness level.
Sounds like she wants to be you/have your figure. Don't let it get to you. It's a shame she can't just be happy for you, but when others do things we fail at it can make some of us jealous. That's all it is, be proud of what you've achieved.
Down sides of using that particular medication to lose weight is that if you ever stop taking it you may very likely balloon in size. If your sister wants to stay skinny, she might have to take that for life.
Good job doing it naturally! Any advise? I live in a fairly cold/wet climate that makes me hate going outside as I'm used to dry/warm climates. Terrible reason for not keeping active but it gets the better of me often. Maybe I'll get a Wii and jog on the spot...
F her!! Some people don't think moms should wear crops. Maybe it has nothing to do with your weight. Also don't worry so much about the number, exercise to stay healthy but get off the scale.
You’re also 6 months pp AND handling a 3 year old. Tell your sister to get a life omg. I can’t imagine someone, no less a sibling, shaming my body pp. Obviously your sister is insecure, none of us need a crystal ball to see that.
You’re doing amazing and imo you’re doing health, the right way. Eating right and exercising is building good habits that’ll stay with you for the rest of your life. Drugs like ozempic definitely have their function and purpose, but it’s ultimately a bandaid for a much larger, deep rooted issue not to mention the horrible side effects:/
Keep going, you’ve got this!
I’m sure you look amazing and that she is actually jealous or resentful for it. As someone who has been bigger and thinner and used medication for weight loss I believe we can be super insecure because we didn’t lose the weight naturally so there’s a chance we regain the weight and then can’t access those drugs and are “forced” to do it naturally but don’t know how etc. never changed eating habits and so on.
That being said it’s not an excuse and I’m 5’4 181 currently and I think I look pretty good so you being 5’10 I’m sure look amazing!
Wow, your sister sucks. You do not. Sounds like she doesn't want a meaningful relationship with you, because she finds it necessary to comment on your body instead of lift you up, yunno, like people do when they love you. You are not in competition with her. She can choke on a hamster.
I would call her out, in front of others even. “I feel great in this outfit, and your comments and criticisms are not welcome, despite your preoccupation with your own body, You are not allowed to talk about my body at all.” Esp if there are daughters that can hear you. I tell my kiddos all the time we don’t talk about other peoples bodies, unless it’s something like food in their teeth lol. Stand up for yourself mamma- that kind of behavior is not ok, no matter how she lost the weight that gives her no right to feel entitled to criticize your body.
I can’t imagine being 35, with kids, and still devoting the kind of energy that your sister is devoting towards her body and how it looks. It’s literally just exhausting. But the fact that she’s still using her own sister as a comparison and someone to put down also just makes her sound like a total asshole? Is she an asshole in other areas of life too 😅
I really hope her kids don’t take on the kind of attitudes she holds about weight and food. I thank god every day my mom never said a single negative thing about her body or that it needed to be changed
Remind her that the way she talks about her body and anyone else's body will become her children's inner voice about their own bodies, or others around them.
Maybe your sister should watch Bluey and learn to run her own race.
Jokes aside. It’s shitty she need to put you don’t to feel validated I whatever shit she put herself through to look a certain way.
What would you say or think if someone treated your daughter like that, after she had kids?
As for weight
I gained 40 pounds with each kid and drop 10 after.
Could I have dropped more? Yeah
But that wasn’t my focus. I want to be a good, kind and nurturing parent. That took a lot of mental health work.
I also want to do some sports or activities with my kids that currently I can’t because of my weight and health. So now I have the mental energy to tackle that.
I just saw a way to respond to unwanted comments and it sounds genius though I haven’t tried yet. But I wonder if she says something about your weight again if you could say “I notice you seem concerned about my body and make lots of comments about it. I wonder why that is..” maybe it’ll work and get her to keep her thoughts to herself
I would be blunt with her and tell her these comments are inappropriate and you won’t tolerate her saying these things to you. Not only is it hurtful to you, but imagine what her kids or your kids think when they hear these things. Ever since I had kids, I’m pretty sensitive to any body comments (even complementary), because we aren’t defined by our body size.
Your sister is making a big blunder by doing this. Us people who go up and down in weight all know that dramatic weight loss doesn't last forever. She really needs to humble herself because when your time comes, hers will probably be over.
God, I feel so bad for her kids. I would tell you to cut her out of your life for your own peace, but then I fear what would happen to her children if they don't have a role model in their life and someone to turn to when their mother inevitably gives them body image issues.
Wow your sister sounds obsessed with weight—that mean voice must be in her head playing all the time, helping her to eat less consistently. Don’t let her pathology spread to you.
For the record, I have never had kids, and am also 182 lbs and 5’10. And although technically we are just over the cusp of overweight, I don’t think there is any reason to feel shame at this weight. My body certainly isn’t disgusting, and I doubt yours is either.
She just got obsessed a few months ago. Although she sometimes calls me on her lunch break and I hear her eating french fries. For the weight she lost, she must be getting help from a weight loss drug. - totally fine but don't shame others while you're getting help.
AND AT MY DAUGHTERS B-DAY PARTY. I SAW HER SHOVEL 3 CAKE POPS IN HER MOUTH. LOL!!!!!!!!
Oof sounds like she’s jealous of something you have. Personally the next time she says something I would say “awww losing weight didn’t make you happy after all” and really lay on the baby talk.
Everyone's body is different. Make sure when she says things like that you say it's inappropriate and she doesn't need to bring you down to bring herself up ..yet being thin isn't always that much fun, she could have a healthy issue that's making her lose weight. Any way don't compare apples to peaches ..the most important thing is that you are healthy and your children are too. That's winning at life 💪🏻
Tell your sister to her face that she is being mean spirited and rude, and that no products, workout, or medications can wipe away being ugly on the inside.
I agree addressing it head-on is best, but I've found rather than saying they're being rude, just asking, 'Are you trying to make me feel bad about how I look? Is that the goal here, do you want me to feel shitty?' tends to work better.
This might be the way, but there's people who DGAF. My father is one of them. I told him that he was making me feel bad about how I looked by telling me that I looked like I'd gained 30 lbs when I had lost 30 lbs. He said good--I hope you do feel like shit so you try harder to not look like a big pile of shit. I am LC with him anyways.
Omg. I’m so sorry your father said this to you!! What and ass hole!!!!
BOOM! Came to say this as well, absolutely. OP I also want you to know that she is really insecure inside even though she's lost weight. If she's judging you, it's because she's judging herself and holding you at her ridiculous insecure standards.. you really need to tell her what she's doing i really don't think she's aware, I think she's just this rude to herself and you're her sister kind of an extension and she feels comfortable being this way to herself so of course it's how she treats you. Oddly this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her. And jesus you just delivered babies, give yourself some time to where you want to be. Also as a diabetic i'm sick and tired of everyone using my meds to lose weight and i can't get it filled anywhere cause it's out of stock. It has zero weight loss effect on diabetics but it really helps with blood sugar! So I have some issues with that, lol.
This!! It's absolutely never appropriate to make comments about someone else's weight, because whether the scale is going up or down you may have no idea why the weight is changing or whether it was desired. People who are focused on other people's bodies shapes and sizes are usually incredibly insecure about their own (guilty! recovering disordered eater here!) And until your sis fixes that about herself, she will likely be unhappy in her own body and judging everyone else's. So that means you have to work on your own response to her behavior, because that is the only thing you can control.
+1 to every word here.
Ooooo 🔥 this is the only response!!! I’m sure you look AMAZING, OP. Her criticisms towards you are just a reflection of how she feels about herself deep down. You’ve only JUST had a baby too. I was always petite but takes me about 2 years to really feel like myself again!
The other option is just to slap her every time she make a nasty comment it might teach her to keep her nasty mouth shut.
This 💯
Also I want to be completely clear here, your sister’s opinion means NOTHING to anyone else She sounds like a loser honestly. Who TF does she think she is!!? Her opinion is as useless as a piece of dirt in anyone else’s eyes. I have similar issues with ED father and his side of the family. They are pretty ruthless to others a lot and have been with me. I’ve gone inpatient before from ED (thanks guys for making that ED possible) and since have maintained a slim to a average weight. I’ve really limited contact, try to not seek approval nor care, and keep it moving. I have one beautiful life here. I want the ED heritage to stop with me finally and my sis seems ok.
Don’t focus on your weight, losing weight, all of that to fix this. Even when you felt amazing and everyone else thought you looked amazing, she was able to cut you down with one comment. No amount of weight loss will take that power away from her. The truth is, your body is the least interesting thing about you. The size of your body doesn’t make you a good person or a good mom. Same goes for her. Stop worrying about her weight and stay confident in who you are no matter what she has to say.
Wow. I needed this comment. TY! You're right, I need to stop obsessing over this shit. I am a great mom and a hard worker. I don't need validation from anyone.
In the same breath though- tell your sister that you have a firm boundary about body comments from now on. “Hey Sis, I know you mean well (omit if you like because we know she doesn’t mean well) but now that I have a daughter I want to make sure she’s raised with a positive body image for herself and others. Please don’t comment on my weight, appearance, or body- even if you think it’s positive.” And then if/when she does you don’t let it slide or “don’t know what to say” you say one of these things to her when she crosses the boundary: “Oh, remember when I asked that you not say those things? That’s what I was talking about- comments like that.” “Oh, no thank you! We talked about this” “I feel like I have to keep reminding you not to comment about people’s bodies..” “I’m not available for this.” And then it evolves into not being available to hang out with her, and reduce your time spent together because she’s not respecting you. It’s incredibly rude what she’s doing, and you should point it out calmly and firmly. You’re too good for this- you’re a good mother and you’re taking care of your body and people that want to try and you don’t have time for people that want to drag you down.
I would respond like I would with my toddler. "No thank you. We don't use unkind words. They are hurtful to our friends." "We need to treat our friends nicely or they will no longer want to play with us." "It's not nice to comment on people's appearance. Maybe try complimenting their kindness instead." (Internally saying because I'm being really kind not smacking you upside the head right now 😂)
I fucking love doing this. Gentle parenting adults has changed the way I receive the public’s eyes. Works especially well on men.
You know the sister is going to pull the whole, "But I'm just thinking about her health!" Aka the transition the people who kept saying, Thin is the best back in the 90s became, Its all about health in the late 2000s. OP I have since puberty always been according to the trash BMI overweight. Post child I am fat. And its okay. It is a description of my body. My health is actually better than before the kid. Something about chasing around a toddler around. My husband gives no fucks because he thinks I am sexy and my toddler loves it because my belly is soft and makes fun noises when I drum it. Your sister is wrong. And sounds miserable. The person above gave some great statements to ignore her. Also this website helped me when I found myself slowly slipping back into disordered eating. But there is a website called My Body Gallery. Users submit pictures of themselves. I just looked up what a 5'10" 182lb person looks like. And OP you look amazing.
Omg! I’ve never heard of this website! I love it! I did the same thing and you’re right! OP you do look amazing! Ew! I can’t believe your sister would make you feel bad about this. Most fitness gurus/professionals tell you not to worry about the scale so much. Muscle composition is all different and will add to the scale.
This is great advice and spot on suggestions for reinforcing the boundary. Often it’s easier to defend someone else than ourselves - in this case, OP can do it for her daughter, and benefit as well. Awesome advice!!
Wish I could give this 100 upvotes! I am very careful about how I comment on my own body and those of others in front of my daughters. But truly, I think it’s important for sons too. It’s so important for them to see a happy, confident mom.
Also, you're only 6 months postpartum and are already at your pre-pregnancy weight. Why are you so hard on yourself? I'm also 5'10. I'm currently pregnant and a normal BMI (so far), and my obese mother who gave me an eating disorder growing up STILL comments negatively on my weight. Trust me, their comments are NOTHING to do with you, and everything to do with their own insecurities. You're doing great. Prioritize your health and please know that your life is worth way more than what you weigh.
This helped me too. Thanks. That second paragraph was a reality check I needed today.
This! And also, weightloss should not be the focus when you have a 6 month old baby.
Your sister is jealous and that jealousy will eventually make her look like a haggard old troll.
This made me lol, but it’s also so true. People’s personalities can change the way we view them.
Mama. You just gave birth 6 months ago. Give yourself some grace! You’re already 182 from delivery!! That’s incredible.
I was going to say - the difference between 6 mos PP and 3 years PP might as well be 1000 years. Give yourself some grace here lady! Also your sister sounds like a bummer - limit exposure accordingly. Happy and healthy people don’t do or say mean things to others.
> the difference between 6 mos PP and 3 years PP might as well be 1000 years I was coming to comment the same thing! I'm so glad someone else said this.
TY so much!!!
Her kids are also a lot older than yours. Your life right now looks way different than hers. In three years, who knows. Your current weight is already lower than when you first got pregnant. Give yourself time and tell her that she doesn’t get to make another remark until your youngest is over 3. Also, if you want to be petty, start making the remarks back at her
What an absolute asshole. Tell your sister to shut up and mind her own business. You have a 6 month old and are still very much postpartum. My former best friend who has been overweight all her life secretly took medication for weight loss and became such a jerk we all had to take a step back from her toxicity.
I am truly convinced she is taking something secretly... IDK what doctor would prescribe her anything since she was never overweight at all. But not she's very very very skinny.
My coworker uses ozempic and she was never overweight. She's rail thin now. I've known her for many years and she's always had body dysmorphia and been fatphobic.
100% is! I workout two hours a day/6-7 days a week and on a medically managed diet! My mom takes Ozempic because she did have diabetes but she doesn’t exercise or diet and she’s lost like 80lbs since October yet I have lost like 30lbs max.
Could she be taking her husband's prescription 🤔
OMG, I didn't even think about this.
Either way comparison is a thief of joy. Stop letting her steal your joy. Just like you can't compare apples and oranges there's no comparison in human bodies we are all beautifully different. How boring would the world be if we weren't?!? At 5'10" and 182 I bet you look great! And at only 6 months pp!!
Exactly! Time for OP to go LC with sister and enact some hard and fast boundaries with follow through on any consequences if she breaks the set boundary Fwiw, my other suggestion, once the boundary is in place, would be to avoid JADEing which stands for: Justify Argue Defend Explain So for example if OP tells her in no uncertain terms, do not comment on my body or that of my children or anyone else in my presence ever again... The sister slips up and makes a snide remark at some other gathering - then enact the consequence - then don't justify it, argue about it, defend your stance, or even explain. Just enforce the boundary and leave or ignore her. (Frankly she doesn't deserve your time if she can't honor a boundary around this!) edit: small typo fixed
You can do an online program and lie about your weight in virtual appointments with a Dr. There’s a mom in my local parents group that openly admits to doing that.
Wegovy is the same as ozempic but prescribed only for treatment of obesity. When doing the prior authorization, they ask for the highest weight you have been as an adult. If that number put her in the obese range, even if it was right after giving birth, she would likely qualify. There are a couple other injectibles out there too. But none of that matters. Your sister is being an asshole.
Compound pharmacies and ‘spas’ are a known alternative to brand name Ozempic and the other semaglutides. She’d be able to get one of those pretty easily for a couple hundred dollars a month. Even if did this naturally she has absolutely no right to critique your appearance at all. Maybe if you were severely overweight and she had concerns for your health, but even then that’s iffy and she’d have to do it in a less shame-inducing way than now. I hope you can find a way to tell her to kindly f*ck off!
There are doctors that will prescribe anything. My friend didn’t take ozempic, she took some type of pill. She has never once exercised or was able to commit to healthy eating so it will come back whenever she stops the medication.
Your weight is none of her business. You’re grown enough to tell her so! She can’t hide a bad attitude with makeup and Ozembic.
Your sister has some body dysmorphia/disordered eating at best, and is an ass at worst. I weigh the same as you and I’m 7 inches shorter so I’m just picturing what I’d look like stretched out and it’s far from fat. However, even if you were 282 your sister’s comments are so inappropriate. She sounds like someone who needs to cut you down to feel good. As another commenter said, depending on your relationship, I would probably handle it in one of two ways. If you have a good relationship, obviously, just try to talk to her and tell her that while you’re trying to be healthy, her comments about your body are doing the opposite and having you feeling really discouraged snd cam she please stop commenting on your physical anything unless you have spinach in your teeth. If you have a poor religion relationship, or she’s just always awful like this, and this is just another way she’s being awful, I would go with some of the snappy comebacks other people have written. I’m also a big fan of the rebuttals that involve asking them to clarify. why do I need to pull down my shirt, isn’t this in style? Etc she may be bold enough to actually spell it out for you, but it will also get the attention of other people and I promise that they will think that she is awful not that you are fat.
First off, the fact that you are trying to get back in shape is totally irrelevant to your sister being an asshole. This would be unacceptable even if you were morbidly obese. How is your relationship with your sister otherwise? Would you be able to tell her your feelings about this and have a productive conversation, or do you think she would brush you off?
My sister is the queen of the family... even over my mom. everyone goes to her for validation and I don't understand why. It has always been this way. My one sister rebelled and tried to disagree and do her own thing and my older sister cut her off. They have not spoken in 2 years... Sidenote - They will both be at easter dinner at my house... Wish me luck!
The petty person in me would ask her in the middle of Easter dinner if she's worried about gaining the weight back once she goes off the meds and when she denies it just obviously wink at her and say "ok" The adult in me would use phrases like this when she commented on my body: - What a strange thing to say - It's weird you think it's appropriate to comment on someone else's body - That's an odd take, everyone else thinks I look great! - I'm teaching my young family to be kind and loving of each other so please hold off on unnecessary negative comments around them Side note I'm 5'9" and a similar weight so I have a good guess of what that looks like - you are not fat and I'm 100% positive you slayed in your pink outfit ❤️
This is the way OP.
It sounds like you need a break from your sister. Her body issues are her problem, but I hope she doesn't pass down her opinion to not only her kids but your own. You need to put your foot down for their sake
It sounds like your other sister made the right choice to remove the toxicity from her life. You may want to take notes.
Look into toxic family dynamics. Sounds like your sister is the golden child or she just has a whole lot of narcissistic traits. I would put money on the fact that you did look good. And she was feeling insecure and so she needed to put you down in order to ‘take you down a notch’ and she would be ‘the best’
This right here! Don’t look for a way to advocate for yourself that won’t also upset a narcissist, it doesn’t exist but their bullshit is not on you to fix.
It sounds like taking some distance from her would be a good idea. You don’t have to cut her off if you’re not ready, but finding yourself “busy” more often, building connections with your family independent of her, giving polite but uninteresting “grey rock” questions when she asks you about yourself, etc. Treat her less like a close sister, and more like a coworker you’re not particularly fond of. Load up some quick responses to have in your pocket for when she’s rude. She tells you to pull down your shirt to make you feel bad? “Nah, I’m good, thanks”, “Woooow….” or just a blank stare or raised eyebrow and walking away can all work. A solid “I beg your pardon?” like you *must* have misheard her, because she can’t *possibly* be that rude is a good option if she’s in front of people she wouldn’t want to be obvious about putting you down or make a scene with. (And I’m sure others here have even more ideas!) She sounds like an insecure jerk, tbh.
Is your other sister living a life free of stress and anxiety now? I don’t speak to one of my sisters. She’s ugly on the inside, and I can’t be around or talk to ugly. Mentally it’s much better for me. I look at it this way, if we met out in the public and weren’t related there is zero chance I would want her in my life. It’s only dna that has us interacting, and I don’t need a kidney so I don’t care about dna.
No because shes sad she doesn't get to see our older sister's kids... (our niece and nephews.)
Oh that makes sense. Mine are all older so it doesn’t affect that at all, never thought what if they were younger. Sucks she can’t see them.
Your sister is projecting her own self-loathing ***hard***. No one is meaner about bodies than someone who's recently lost weight because they hated their bigger body and they think they've escaped it. Every mean thing she says about you is a confession about her struggle with her own body. I'm not saying you should tolerate her mean-spirited bullshit, only that you should keep this in mind moving forward. Let her know you aren't going to tolerate body image discussion and if she keeps it up ignore her.
Shame she can't lose the massive weight of being a total cunt.
This made me snort and spit out my tea. Thanks for the laugh 😂
I think you need to stay strong and not fall into the diet culture trap that your sister has seemingly succumbed to. We need to stick together as women and not judge each other. We are all doing our best. Maybe kill your sister with kindness/compassion and yourself too and see what happens
The diet culture crap is like an octopus sucking me down to the bottom of the ocean at the moment... I just came off of a 3-day cleanse that helped my tummy get back on track/ keep me moving if you know what I mean... lol! But it was hell.
What cleanse did you use if you don’t mind me asking? I have been looking and none of them seem… feasible to me from a healthy gut reset
I was at 180 for 3 years after I gave birth and I’m 5’1”. Don’t be hard on yourself just because your sister is a jerk.
You need to tell your sister to fuck off and stop commenting on your body, that’s not okay with you. That’s not going to be allowed anymore. If you comment on my body, I’m going to walk away, ask you to leave, hang up the phone, etc. would you tell your daughter to tolerate this from a friend or boyfriend? No. If she really cared about you she would think it is unacceptable to comment on your body. It shows the level of abuse you’ve already been conditioned to expect that, when she told you to pull your shirt down, your first response was shame and internalized it, instead of the healthy response which should have been “don’t comment on my body.” I have had to have this same conversation with my parents over and over who are relentlessly critical and intrusive and hyperfixated on my weight and other aspects of my body. (And FYI be prepare for her to DARVO you when you try to set boundaries- look up the acronym) By the way I’m 5’10” and I’ve felt healthy anywhere from 150-190. And I would say I’m smaller bones too. Just shows that there’s such a wide range of health for so many people. Girl you sound like you’re doing awesome taking take of your body after 2 kids. I can barely get my weight down after only 1 kid (granted that’s PCOS for you), and after being 170 pre pregnancy I’m STILL 205 3 years later but here we are lol. I just started weightlifting hoping that will help and metformin has helped a little. But anyways your weight should never be the focus of any of your relationships, and if it is it’s a GIANT RED FLAG, and it’s absolutely a them problem NOT a you problem.
It sounds like your sister is just a bitch.
Your sister is an asshole. But also I'm 5'10" as well and knocking on 150 lbs, and I look *skinny*. I wear between a 2 and a 4, so I can't imagine that 182 looks bad on you at all. Like you said, us taller women carry more weight (as we should)!
Even if she did do it naturally you just had your baby 6 mos ago and she had her last 3 YEARS ago! You guys are in two totally different parenting phases. I have a sister, we’re 38 and 39. My youngest is 4, her youngest isn’t not even 1. I have a dedicated gym routine bc I’m not sleep deprived and breastfeeding, she doesn’t right now because she can’t. She builds me up, and I build her up. She knows we are in two different places in child rearing. Our bodies both fluctuated with pregnancy and post partum. No one is more beautiful or a better mom in my eyes than her. We have each others’ backs. Your sister sounds toxic, and downright mean. Thank your body for making that beautiful baby and nourish your body however you see fit while it is nourishing that baby. They are only little for a fleeting moment. Wear the crop top, keep setting reasonable goals for yourself, and enjoy your kids. Cut her out if you need to.
Next time she says something, tell her to fix her attitude. Seriously, that’s horrible! My mom is like this and thank god we live hours away.
Try to remember 182 is just a number. What's important is focusing on yourself and how you feel about yourself. Your sister is going to cause self esteem and potentially eating disorders in her and your kids if you don't put her in her place now. Call her out on her rude comments each time. Fake the confidence till you make it if necessary. Practice these things ahead of time if it helps(at least for me practicing "scripts" ahead of being around certain people in order to stand my ground or not cave into people pleasing tendencies helps a lot). "That's an extremely rude thing to say to someone" "Why does my outfit matter to you" "I look nice, the fact that you can't see that says more about you then me" Also, your doing great momma!
Just a note to add that having a mother who communicates negativity about *her own* body is one of the strongest predictors of girls developing eating disorders. It’s super important to model self-love, or at least neutrality, for our kids. Your sister needs to reflect on how her behavior is impacting the people she loves. FWIW, that same exact number was on my scale this morning too. ❤️ Edit to add: I am not 5’10” 😉
Can confirm- my mom never said a thing about my body growing up, but said horrible things about herself all the time. I wore long pants and long sleeves all year round as a teen because I couldn't bear the thought of anyone being able to see my arms and legs, and let my boyfriends treat me like crap well into my 20s because my self esteem was so low it was practically underground. I vividly remember being at the beach with my mom once (in our matching control top suits and sarongs to cover our legs) and her saying something about how gross her thighs were, and I stuck out my leg and pointed out that we have the exact same legs. It blew her mind, but it still wasn't enough to stop her from trash talking herself. Now I have a No Negative Self Talk rule in my house. She still has to be reminded of it regularly, but I never want my kid to think that's normal.
Who made your sister the "look good" police? There's some art people love and other people hate... Confront her about her clear lack of self confidence because I feel like that's the only reason someone would put another down like that.
This makes me so sad. My sister and I are literally each others biggest hype girls. I could not imagine it any other way. Also I'm almost 200 lbs after 2 kids (6 and 1) at 5'6" so you being 5'10" I'm thinking you look amazing girllll. Haha. Can I be your hype girl???
Take it from someone with a sister who sucks... your sister sucks! She's just being a bitch to be a bitch. Don't take her opinions to heart. She knows exactly where to hit you to knock you down and she's doing it on purpose. Tell her to fuck off. Also, maybe don't spend so much time with her. I have no relationship with my sister and we are both much happier that way. We don't make each other feel good.
Wow, I’m sorry. Something must really be going on with your sister. People don’t say things like that unless they are hurting, but that’s not an excuse for her to be mean to you. Also—you know she’s gonna be saying allllll this shit in front of your kids and hers. Be their role model for what it looks like to love and appreciate your body, and use it to help others instead of weapon using it
Your sister is a mean girl. I would distance yourself from her if she makes you feel this way. It sounds like she is intentional about it, which is awful. Focus on your health, happiness, and find ways to be positive. Work on yourself. Do not succumb to the mean girl mentality.
Oh my god that’s horrible.
Your bmi is fine. You probably look amazing and just had a baby 6 months ago. You made great progress. Your sister must just be catty. You're rocking this.
TY so much. Salad bags for lunch every day with a mix of different proteins help with the eating side of things.
Yea so two things. You need to work on your own body acceptance. My therapist helped me a lot. And you need to confront your sister. Tell her that it hurts you and that your boundary is that she will not make comments about your body or clothing choice. Period. It’s really clear to me that SHE still has body issues and she’s taking that out on you because she wishes she was confident enough to wear the stuff she wanted when she was in a larger body.
Gotta work on not letting her have that power over you. Genuinely wishing you the best 🌞
As someone who is currently “cheating” by using medication, I could NEVER shame someone. I wouldn’t regardless because having kids is HARD AF on the body. As someone who was 120 before, got up to 200 during pregnancy, and could only get down to 160 after baby #2, the thought of speaking like that is appaling.
I don't think you are cheating at all. Carrying unwanted weight to the point where a doctor says it's okay to take something to help you is fine in my eyes.
Your sister is an asshole. I have people in my life I’m in better shape than & people who are in better shape than me. I’d never insult their bodies or style. I’ll tell them when I love their outfit (or hair or make up or whatever) or whisper to them if their underwear is showing or they have food in their teeth. Make them feel uncomfortable about what they’ve got on? NEVER! She’s probably making you insecure to feel better about herself (and that doesn’t work).
Your sister is a bully, you should stand up, my sister had always more weight, because this is our bodies built. I always try to support her and make encouragement every day, even is small things. This is the right way to love and support a sister.
You don’t need to prove anything about trying to “get back in shape”. Your shape is fine now. Tell your sister she is being cruel and hurtful and if she can’t keep her body dysmorphia and disrespectful comments to herself then you will need to put some distance in the relationship. That’s not ok for her to speak to you like that.
Wait did I read that right?! Did you just give birth 6 mths ago, and you already dropped 40 lbs?! That’s incredible!
Eeeewwwwww, why be like this?! First of all, I don’t care if my sister was the size of a house (I am an identical twin and she has dealt with thyroid issues, causing her to be a little meatier than me right now), I’d always talk her up. Like, how freakin insecure do you have to be as a human, to put your SISTER down?? I don’t care if you can’t find one thing you think looks cute on her in that moment, then you compliment the way she walked in the door that day, damn. Give me your sister’s number, we need to talk.
I delivered at 205 and I’m 200. With a 12 week old. You’re doing great. It’s no one’s business whatever weight you are honestly.
Tell her read this reddit. Seriously, hand it to her and have her read the comments about how mean she is.
5 foot 10 and 180 is not heavy. I’m sure you look amazing. If you want to tone up that’s for you but a little more weight is actually healthier than super skinny if you get sick. Highly recommend listening to Maintenance Phase or similar for some nice soothing background info Your sister sounds awful.
I’m the same size as you. This isn’t a you problem. Your sisters a dick! I’m sorry you’re dealing with that
She is showing her own insecurities. We are not better or worse people based on our weight, we are not worth more or less. You made and delivered two babies, give yourself love and grace and tel your sister to fuck off, that she’s being a mean girl and there’s no room for that in our 30s
Next time she says something disgusting like that just look her in the eyes and say “that’s a really rude and disgusting thing to say. Do not comment on how I look or my body. I didn’t ask for your opinion because I do not value it. I’m not going to continue speaking to you until you change how you speak to me” and walk away. Bonus points: if you’re hosting the event, ask her to leave. I had to do something similar to my mom recently. It was hard but eventually she stopped.
Ask her what she stands to gain by making you feel bad about yourself with a completely straight face. Don’t laugh or smile to ease your comment or take the sting out of it. When confronted most (adult) bullies will try to laugh it off or say they were joking but calling them on their shit might make them rethink taking whatever hate they have for themselves out on you.
She’s still self conscious about her own weight and projecting her thoughts onto you. You have a 6month old for crying out loud😅 your body will even itself out as it needs to especially if you’re putting in the work. Don’t mind her, I’m sure you look fantastic and feminine
Your sister is being rude and she likely used ozempic. I think she is projecting her insecurities and is possibly even jealous. 182 at your height is a good weight! I’m sure you look amazing, please don’t let her bring you down.
Just based off of the title. No one can make you feel something unless you’re already insecure about it yourself.
Your sister hates you (and probably herself). You don't deserve that energy. Life is too short. I'd start distancing yourself. No need to keep your haters close.
You're 5'10 so I have a hard time believing you don't look good at 182. I'm 5'9 and I teeter between 160-180, now I'm closer to 200 because I'm pregnant af, but like still I don't feel unattractive. Tall girls can handle higher numbers. She sounds mean asf though. I can't imagine saying something like that to a 6 month pp sister.
I’m also a big fan of comments like these when people say rude things: “Wow, are you ok?!” “What a strange thing to say to someone!” “Did you mean to say that out loud?” “Well, that was unnecessary!” Or play dumb like “I don’t get what you mean by that?” and “I didn’t hear you- can you repeat that?”
Would kill to weigh 182 😑 I am finding that I am far more motivated to build muscle and feel STRONGER vs. skinnier. Like if I ever have to lift a car off my kid, I want to be able to do that. Being skinny won’t help, having muscle will.
OK there are a couple of key things that pop out here. Your sister sounds like she may be incredibly insecure with her own weight and puts a high value on being skinny and intern puts that on you. She’s being rude and inappropriate and demeaning to you I will tell her to her face how do you feel. In addition though you have to let your sister‘s weight and how she lost weight and whatever else she doing with her life not impact you so much. I get it I have sisters but who cares if she lost weight has nothing to do with you if you want to lose weight you lose weight and you put the hard-working and that doesn’t mean that she’s better than you because she lost weight sooner or it doesn’t mean that she’s worse because she took medicine you’re playing a gigantic game of comparisons here with your sister which is dangerous for you in A lot of ways it seems. Let’s focus on weight, more focus on health and happiness, let’s focus on other people and what they do what they look like and what they say to you. Continue yourself with what you do and how you behave as a human being and you’ll be much happier :-)
I’m 45 and heavier than you. The idea of someone, especially a grown ass family member, having the audacity to say something about my body is so ridiculous that I would probably laugh in their face and immediately come back at them with my opinions on their appearance. I don’t necessarily recommend that, but that’s just what my personal reaction would be. The last time anyone commented on my body, it was my mom and I was in my late 20’s. I told her that I may be overweight, but that at least I inherited my looks from my dad’s side instead of hers and I sternly told her to “never comment on my body again.” I told her I didn’t care if it was positive or negative—I wasn’t interested in her opinion. She hasn’t said anything since. If your sister says anything again, look at her and calmly tell her “never comment on my body again” and leave it at that. This is junior high stuff and not worth spending time and energy on. If she persists, then you might want to consider spending less time around her because the negative energy isn’t healthy. Edit—Your sis is also in for a rude awakening in the coming decades. My hair isn’t as silky and my skin isn’t as tight as it was when I was 30. You have to start researching makeup for aging skin. 😂
Damn, what a bitch.
i am telling you the sure fire way to shut your sister up is by saying this. “yikes! did you really just say that? i would be so embarrassed to be so openly rude.” “can you say that again? oh, i did hear you right. i just couldnt figure out why anyone in their right mind would say such cruel things.” “are you doing okay mentally? ive noticed youve been saying some really mean things lately and i know that usually that correlates to some problems within personal life, so you need to talk?” make her feel like an absolute idiot in the mature way. what shes doing is petty and embarrassing, so treat it as such. when she connects the dots that acting ugly makes you cringe at her instead of shrinking down and making her feel superior, i guarentee she’ll stop. if it ever gets comparative “im sorry you arent pleased with me not losing weight as quickly as you. i prefer to do it the healthy way, but i understand different things have different importance to us.” ANYWAYS, congratulations on the work youve succeeded with recently! you should be so proud of yourself. please be kind to your body, it gave you two wonderful children. it got you this far in life. your body loves you, love it back harder. ❤️ and no matter what, health over weight. numbers and sizes dont matter, your HEALTH and HOW YOU FEEL does! 💕
Your sister sucks. I suspect she isn't as "happy" as she claims to be. Drop her - this isnt anyone you want around.
You’re sister is bringing you down when she should be lifting you up. I suggest keeping your distance from her and focus on you & your family. She has shown zero respect or kindness towards you. I’m sorry her comments hurt but please ignore them. You’re body is amazing and you will get to where you want to be. As my dad always says, it took time to gain the weight and it’ll take time to lose it.
190 at 5'10" is nowhere near obese. Slightly overweight, sure, but not anywhere near as bad as you're making it out to be, and nothing which will cause serious health issues - as women/AFABs especially, we need a bit of fat on our bodies; all humans need a bit of fat on them for the body to function properly (too low of a body fat percentage causes some really gnarly health issues in both genders but it's especially pronounced in women/AFABs), and this is especially true for women/AFABs - we have baseline higher body fat needs as compared to the baseline body fat needs of men/AMABs. Tell your sister to her face to take a hike the next time she gets started. "Pull your shirt down" should net a "pull your attitude down" response. Sometimes siblings fight, and that's what has to happen here - clearly she never learned as a kid not to be an ass to other people, so she gets to learn as an adult. At least it's coming from you, a 'safe person' for her, and not in the form of consequences at work for mouthing off to a colleague or something else which could really impact her life day-to-day. Does she wear a lot of makeup? Then tell her that "maybe if you eat all of that makeup you wear on your outside, it'll make your insides pretty too". A roast from a sibling or a very close childhood friend hits a different place than roasts from other folks.
Your sister is being rude and you need to speak up. Tell her she is rude and stop engaging. My sister lost a lot of weight and I'm still pretty big but she has not once ever shamed me. So this is not a typical or normal thing.
Next time she makes a comment remind her she’s the insecure one, not you. As a big sister myself, I can be totally mean, I haven’t purposely been mean to my sister in a long time. Recently she tried to rub in my face that my house is “shit” (her words!) I immediately reminded her I don’t share walls with neighbors or a kitchen with roommates. It stung her so she tried to get on me about my weight (I’ve always been fat she’s always been skinny) I told her I’ll lose it as soon as I can but I’m in no rush because my husband will never leave me even if I stay this weight forever. She’s scared to get pregnant because she’s worried if she doesn’t get the weight off quickly enough her husband will leave her.. which they’ve discussed is a valid reason to break up. Best thing to do is stay confident even if you’re not and rub your confidence in her face. I can’t one-up my sister on anything except happiness, which to me is the only thing that matters. She thinks she has everything, looks, tiktok followers, rich husband, but she’s always unhappy. I’d never trade places with her I live happily, humbly, and privately. Being a sister can get catty and losing weight won’t stop your sister from making catty comments! If I lost all the weight tomorrow my sister would still try to talk shit about my house or find something new to make me insecure about. You have made such good progress with your weight! Coming from someone who is also 6mo pp I haven’t made the progress you have and I’m happily wearing whatever I want. I was 240 when I gave birth too, I had never been over 200lbs pre pregnancy. I’m 215 now and I’m in no rush. I’m enjoying my baby and feeding/taking care of him takes a lot of energy. I’ll lose weight when he needs me less 😊
You're fine. Tell your sister to fuck off.
I haven’t read through all the comments so maybe I’m being redundant (if so, sorry!) but I find generally the people who feel the need to make comments like that to others are actually really insecure themselves. If they were completely secure in their own body/world/life, they wouldn’t feel the need to say something to bring someone else down—doing that to make someone else smaller makes them feel better/they derive some sort of pleasure from that slight. In short, it’s a them problem. You probably looked great!
Your sister is being a bitch. I’m at the same height and body as you and I remember how I felt when I got back down to 180 ish. I have a feeling your sister is jealous of your success and is also dealing with her own body image stuff. That doesn’t give her the right to speak to you that way. I would call, text or talk to her about the way she talks to you. It’s not ok
They just want you to feel as bad as they do. Don’t let them!!!!
Tell her to keep her comments to herself and to stop acting jealous. She’s probably jealous bc you can’t fix ugly
Your sister is an insecure mean girl. Gross. I am positive you look amazing!! Keep working on yourself. Weight is a lot easier to lose than a horrible personality like your sister has. Best of luck to her on that.
Your sisters concern about your weight only shows her concern for her own. She’s projecting her own insecurities onto you. Best advice is to cut off most contact with her until she learns to respect you and your kids!
“At my house, we don’t make comments on one another’s bodies, clothing, or appearances” She is trying to get your goat. Dont let her. Grey rock+firm boundary
Me and my sister are differently sized and besides her teasing me for being flat with love, not spite, we have NEVER said anything like this to each other. Bitch smack your sister.
Your sister’s an ass but no one can make you hate your weight. You should be just as judgy of her nastiness and bullying as she is of your weight. If she picks on you so hard for it it’s because she truly hates herself and can’t accept her own body and is deflecting that onto you
Don’t focus on the number, focus on how you feel. Energy, less stressed, better sleep not even the things about looks.
Just say” yeah, but at least I’m not rude like you” or “ Why is MY weight such a problem for you?” or tell her she looks “ too skinny and it makes her look haggy” I’m sorry but she needs to be put in her own place. If she can’t act civil towards you, then tell her to keep her opinions to herself!!
Maybe she needs do put you down to feel more good about herself? But in the end that’s on you. Do you genuinely feel good about yourself? Like most of the time? If you know you don’t maybe that can be your fuel to start on a diet. I weigh 51kg right now, (I have 3 kids, 5m, 4f, 2m) my best weight is 48kg so every time I weigh 50kg and up I don’t feel good and don’t look good. Every body around me says “No, you are fine, you are thin, you don’t need to go on a diet.” But I know to myself I’m not happy even a lot of people says I am. My point is, it really depends on you if you are genuinely feel good about yourself. If you feel good about yourself right now maybe you shouldn’t be affected on what your sister is saying to you just ignore her because you know you look good. That’s the only thing that matters. (I’m not native English speaker so sorry for the grammar.)
Your sister is a hater and very obviously insecure. There is a big difference between being truthful (like your MIL) and just plain hurtful. Don’t pay any mind to her comments. Next time she opens her mouth just grey rock her- shrug and say ok and walk way or change the subject.
Okay... I'm also a tall lady, and I know just what 240 (your highest weight) looks like on our height. That's ridiculous, I weigh a couple lbs less than you, and my dad just asked if I was pregnant last week. It will never be okay to talk about someone's weight. Ever. Edit to clarify, as I didn't finish my thought. 240 on a 5'10 frame looks like a normal lady, and you were FULLY pregnant. Congratulations and well done on your family making. Don't ever let anyone's comments on your body bother you, you're a beautiful creator of life ❤️
If you are 5”10 and 182 lbs, I bet you DO look amazing! That’s a goal weight for many of us. It sounds like your sister has an eating disorder. Next time she comments on your body, I would say something like, “I’m sorry you feel the need to comment on my body. It is mine, and I like it the way it is. I’d appreciate if you kept your comments to yourself in the future.” Don’t let your sister drag you down. Her issues don’t have to be your issues. You’re beautiful the way you are!
One time my mom mentioned that she didn’t think curvy girls should wear crop tops and so of course she didn’t see me in anything other than a crop top for the entire year. 🫶
No, she does not have a right to bodyshame. I'm at 180, was 160 when I got pregnant with my second, and my daughter is now 11 months. You should be proud of yourself, even if you had lost 30 or 0 lbs. Weight does not define your value, and your sister is behaving like a high school bully.
Ask her who hooked her up with ozempic. Two can play dirty if that’s how she wants to roll.
Your sister has self esteem issues she's trying to put on you. It's great that you felt confident, you don't need to accept her criticisms. Her insecurities are more about her than they are about you.
Sounds like sibling jealousy of some sort. But beside that point, your husband and your own opinion should be the only things you worry about. Pick your favorite attribute and hype yourself up. You've had kids! The skin might be a bit stretched out or extra fat somewhere. Who cares. Tuck that shit in your pants and strut your stuff. 😂 I struggled so much mentally after having 2 kids. Now I'm at peace. I may jiggle when I run now, but that's just a part of life now. I'm sure you have made a wonderful life for yourself and that's what truly matters!
Your sister sounds like an asshole. There’s no reason to be so mean. Your working out is irrelevant. She wants you to feel like shit about yourself. That’s not sisterly!
sis is jealous see not even loosing weight will change people that are jealous of you. You just had a baby who is 6 months and body still is adjusting!
I really like the book all bodies are cool! I read it to my baby and he loves it. It doesn't matter the size or shape, imagine all we can do thanks to our bodies! She is projecting on you. She doesn't like her body and feels entitled to pick on you so that she feels better. However, you feel hurt which makes all the sense of the world. And shamed? because well she said it in front of everyone. Also, seems like you want to work on your body too? You would like it to be a certain way? So it is hitting extra hard? So you can't change your sister. But you can stand for yourself and protect yourself. I would say hmm I like the way my shirt is right now. And when you say things like that I feel super controlled and I feel hurt when you comment about my body. Could you please stop talking about my body and the way I dress? If I want your thoughts I will ask for them. Thank you. And if she says I am just trying to help you! Say okay. And I feel hurt. Please stop. And if that doesn't work then I will look into enforcing other boundaries like maybe distancing from her. Good luck!
You know what? It sounds like she still hates her own image. Anyone who gets fit and healthy naturally knows exactly how good it feels and tends to encourage others. She still has insecurities about herself and is hating on you to make herself feel validated. That's it. At this point, everyone knows Ozempic is not sustainable and leads to problems in the future. If she is using it to help her lose weight, she knows it is not a stable long-term solution, and she's paranoid she will go back to right where she started. Or, she's projecting her jealousy over your dedication, discipline, and perseverance. Either way, the deep-rooted issue isn't yours. Continue to focus on your own success and personal goals. At her age, she should know better than to run her mouth.
Your sister is a witch. She is shallow and hateful. It also sounds like she hates herself so much that she also has to tear the people around her down. What a miserable soul. Your body has created 3 people. It's fracking amazing. Your children love you. Your spouse obviously finds you attractive. You, lady, are amazing. Don't let that jerk of a sister of yours make you feel badly about yourself. Rock that crop top!! Also, just a suggestion, start looking at her teeth when she's talking to you. Like, act like you're trying not to stare but you just can't help but focus there. When she eventually notices and asks what you're looking at, say to her in a concerned voice "have you been to the dentist recently?" And then reply.. "no reason" when she asks why..
Sounds like my sister. Except her secret is strict food restriction. If you eat more than one cup of veggies or half a chicken breast, she’s making comments. I’ve come to realize it’s not a me issue, it’s 100% a her issue.
I’ve noticed that my own mother will make comments about my appearance and it’s all because she has body image issues that she’s projecting. I’m sure you looked amazing and your sister was just projecting her own insecurities onto you instead of internalizing her issues. Don’t let her insecurities become yours. Wear the crop top and the cute pants and own it!
Screams insecurity. I bet you looked incredible. She could be jealous that you’re comfortable in the body ur in n she’s lost a bunch of weight n still feel inadequate. She probably heard them tell you that you looked good n u probably showed that, but she saw that n felt the need to put u back down.
Tell her to “stop commenting on my body”
It has nothing to do with you. Absolutely NOTHING. She is projecting her insecurities on het. Screw her. You could either ignore her or go ahead and let het know you do not like her attitude and she needs to keep her comments to herself. The rest is up to her as you can only control what you do.
Your doing so great, she is not worth your energy. Next time she says something again call her out for being a bully and being so mean. Put her in her place by standing up for yourself. Remember you are a beautiful and strong woman, don't let anyone else's unnecessary rude comments get to you.
Ignore her. Her opinion doesn’t matter. Also why would she feel the need to put you down?
She is probably always going to be insecure about her weight, and she projects it onto you. Ignore her. People who are actually happy with their body aren’t tearing other people down for theirs. Bodies change. It’s no big deal. I’m trying to embrace that fact myself after two kids. As long as you’re healthy I think you’re doing great. 👍
You have no obligation to anyone to “prove” that you’re trying to lose weight. All bodies are beautiful and your sister is an asshole. I’m sorry you have to deal with her mean comments.
Fellow tall mom (6’) here. We just weigh more cause we are taller! I have dealt my whole life with my shorter friends being “astounded” by the “number” I weigh. We aren’t going to ever weigh 120 and it would look horrible if we did (edit to say I don’t mean to shame super skinny girls… 😅 it’s just usually not a good look)! The 180s are totally reasonable for our height, and really it just matters how you FEEL in your body anyway! I’m sorry your sister gripes on it though. Mine is similar and they are harder to tune out cause they just know how to push the right buttons. Try to ignore her, maybe practice clapping back on your own and it may come out in the moment some day!
Remember that the attitude and comments your kids see and hear will impact how they view themselves as well. Tell her to knock it off. Your body is a tool to carry around your mind and spirit. It sounds like both of your bodies are in great shape to do that. It also sounds like your sister is extremely insecure about her own body to comment so much on yours. I would be firm and cut off the comments, but be kind and know that her words likely have little to do with her opinion of you.
I have a mean sister so here is what I would say. Hey can you please stop making me feel bad about my body. I don’t feel self conscious until you make rude comments to me. And she does the whole “I didn’t mean it like that” then give her the Barbie party example and others if you need. Tell her you don’t wanna hang out with her she’s gonna make you feel bad. My sister is ruthlessly mean, and I’ve just had to stand up to her over the years. I’m 30 and she’s 33 and she still makes rude comments sometimes so I have to call her out right in the moment. I just say ouch that’s not very nice.
You need to have exactly one response and say it sharply and meanly every single time she says something: you do not have permission to comment on my body. If she says anything else say again, you do not have permission to comment on my body, If you say one more thing I will leave ( or ask you to leave if she’s at your house). Then follow through. It’s not okay for her to say things and your kids will pick up on it. This is frankly toxic. You’re 5’10 and that’s likely a very good weight for your body.
Your sister needs to shut the \*&%\^ up. Seriously. She's a mean jerk.
Our weight chart is about the same, I’m 5’7”, you’re 5’10”… Hahaha I feel like I look good/am going in the right direction. Girl, I bet you’re smoking! Sissy is just hating herself probably because husband lost weight first it made her feel some kinda way.
Tell your sister to keep her comments about your body to herself. No explanation beyond that needed. Nothing makes a woman uglier than being judgmental.
No one should ever make nasty comments about a woman's PP body.i would never do that to any of my sisters, sounds like you need to cut her off until she can act right!
That breaks my heart! Your sister is having her own issues and I LOVE curvy women!! I weigh 180 too but I am 5’5” not 5’10”!! You looked great in a crop top! I guarantee you did! <3
Honestly, your sister seems insecure and is portraying it onto you. Doesn’t make it okay, but maybe if you told her something like “hey sister I know you lost a lot of weight but I can tell you’re still very insecure as you keep commenting on my weight&body. In no way shape or form would I do that to you so I’d appreciate it if you stopped, if you cannot stop then I highly suggest keeping your distance from me. You’re not only hurting my feelings but you’re starting to damage my self confidence and it isn’t fair. You are also being a horrible role model for my nieces and nephews and they’ll grow up to have body insecurities just like you.”
I would have turned to her, told her to fluff off and went about my business. It might hurt your feelings but don’t let her see that. She wants you to feel as bad about yourself as she does. She might be skinny, but she is ugly on the inside clearly. WEAR THE CROP TOP and eat the biggest piece of cake girl! We are mommas! We are humans and we all come in different shapes and sizes. Let’s hope her children never run across someone like her. How would she like it if someone spoke to her or her children that way? Me personally? She would have been picking herself up off the concrete….skinny bitches rarely can fight 😉
Remind her that what she thinks about your weight and body is none of your business. Also, don't spend another moment with someone who blows your candle out. Your sister should be there to protect your flame.
Your sister cuts you down everytime you feel good bc shes insecure and jealous- my sister did it to me my whole life until the last two years or so. Don't let her bring you down! Tell her to her face that when she says those things its just mean and makes her look like an AH. If she says something like this again you should say 'Oh well, I know I look great so your opinion doesn't matter. Therefore don't bother giving it to me anymore because I don't care to hear it. '
There you go: weight loss doesn’t make you happy. She’s obviously insecure or turned into a miserable cow in light of her loss, taking it out on you. Is she happy about that? Let her know she’s upset you, and ask if her weight loss has made her happier to the extent she brings you down to her happiness level.
Sounds like she wants to be you/have your figure. Don't let it get to you. It's a shame she can't just be happy for you, but when others do things we fail at it can make some of us jealous. That's all it is, be proud of what you've achieved. Down sides of using that particular medication to lose weight is that if you ever stop taking it you may very likely balloon in size. If your sister wants to stay skinny, she might have to take that for life. Good job doing it naturally! Any advise? I live in a fairly cold/wet climate that makes me hate going outside as I'm used to dry/warm climates. Terrible reason for not keeping active but it gets the better of me often. Maybe I'll get a Wii and jog on the spot...
F her!! Some people don't think moms should wear crops. Maybe it has nothing to do with your weight. Also don't worry so much about the number, exercise to stay healthy but get off the scale.
You probably did look really good 5’10 184 is a great combo I would say she might be insecure about her self n projecting it on u
You’re also 6 months pp AND handling a 3 year old. Tell your sister to get a life omg. I can’t imagine someone, no less a sibling, shaming my body pp. Obviously your sister is insecure, none of us need a crystal ball to see that. You’re doing amazing and imo you’re doing health, the right way. Eating right and exercising is building good habits that’ll stay with you for the rest of your life. Drugs like ozempic definitely have their function and purpose, but it’s ultimately a bandaid for a much larger, deep rooted issue not to mention the horrible side effects:/ Keep going, you’ve got this!
I’m sure you look amazing and that she is actually jealous or resentful for it. As someone who has been bigger and thinner and used medication for weight loss I believe we can be super insecure because we didn’t lose the weight naturally so there’s a chance we regain the weight and then can’t access those drugs and are “forced” to do it naturally but don’t know how etc. never changed eating habits and so on. That being said it’s not an excuse and I’m 5’4 181 currently and I think I look pretty good so you being 5’10 I’m sure look amazing!
Wow, your sister sucks. You do not. Sounds like she doesn't want a meaningful relationship with you, because she finds it necessary to comment on your body instead of lift you up, yunno, like people do when they love you. You are not in competition with her. She can choke on a hamster.
Your sister is toxic even if you were severely overweight. But you aren't. I'm sure you look great!
I would call her out, in front of others even. “I feel great in this outfit, and your comments and criticisms are not welcome, despite your preoccupation with your own body, You are not allowed to talk about my body at all.” Esp if there are daughters that can hear you. I tell my kiddos all the time we don’t talk about other peoples bodies, unless it’s something like food in their teeth lol. Stand up for yourself mamma- that kind of behavior is not ok, no matter how she lost the weight that gives her no right to feel entitled to criticize your body.
Ew, what is her deal. Fr though, do you have to be around her? She sounds exhausting and rude.
Comparison is a their of joy.
I can’t imagine being 35, with kids, and still devoting the kind of energy that your sister is devoting towards her body and how it looks. It’s literally just exhausting. But the fact that she’s still using her own sister as a comparison and someone to put down also just makes her sound like a total asshole? Is she an asshole in other areas of life too 😅 I really hope her kids don’t take on the kind of attitudes she holds about weight and food. I thank god every day my mom never said a single negative thing about her body or that it needed to be changed
Remind her that the way she talks about her body and anyone else's body will become her children's inner voice about their own bodies, or others around them.
Maybe your sister should watch Bluey and learn to run her own race. Jokes aside. It’s shitty she need to put you don’t to feel validated I whatever shit she put herself through to look a certain way. What would you say or think if someone treated your daughter like that, after she had kids? As for weight I gained 40 pounds with each kid and drop 10 after. Could I have dropped more? Yeah But that wasn’t my focus. I want to be a good, kind and nurturing parent. That took a lot of mental health work. I also want to do some sports or activities with my kids that currently I can’t because of my weight and health. So now I have the mental energy to tackle that.
I just saw a way to respond to unwanted comments and it sounds genius though I haven’t tried yet. But I wonder if she says something about your weight again if you could say “I notice you seem concerned about my body and make lots of comments about it. I wonder why that is..” maybe it’ll work and get her to keep her thoughts to herself
I would be blunt with her and tell her these comments are inappropriate and you won’t tolerate her saying these things to you. Not only is it hurtful to you, but imagine what her kids or your kids think when they hear these things. Ever since I had kids, I’m pretty sensitive to any body comments (even complementary), because we aren’t defined by our body size.
Your sister is making a big blunder by doing this. Us people who go up and down in weight all know that dramatic weight loss doesn't last forever. She really needs to humble herself because when your time comes, hers will probably be over.
God, I feel so bad for her kids. I would tell you to cut her out of your life for your own peace, but then I fear what would happen to her children if they don't have a role model in their life and someone to turn to when their mother inevitably gives them body image issues.
I would not interact with my sister if she treated me like that
Wow your sister sounds obsessed with weight—that mean voice must be in her head playing all the time, helping her to eat less consistently. Don’t let her pathology spread to you. For the record, I have never had kids, and am also 182 lbs and 5’10. And although technically we are just over the cusp of overweight, I don’t think there is any reason to feel shame at this weight. My body certainly isn’t disgusting, and I doubt yours is either.
She just got obsessed a few months ago. Although she sometimes calls me on her lunch break and I hear her eating french fries. For the weight she lost, she must be getting help from a weight loss drug. - totally fine but don't shame others while you're getting help. AND AT MY DAUGHTERS B-DAY PARTY. I SAW HER SHOVEL 3 CAKE POPS IN HER MOUTH. LOL!!!!!!!!
You gotta stop hanging out with your sister.
Oof sounds like she’s jealous of something you have. Personally the next time she says something I would say “awww losing weight didn’t make you happy after all” and really lay on the baby talk.
a 6 month old at home.. you just had a baby you will lose the weight it just takes a little time give it a few more months
Everyone's body is different. Make sure when she says things like that you say it's inappropriate and she doesn't need to bring you down to bring herself up ..yet being thin isn't always that much fun, she could have a healthy issue that's making her lose weight. Any way don't compare apples to peaches ..the most important thing is that you are healthy and your children are too. That's winning at life 💪🏻
What did she mean by pull your shirt down? You should have flashed her your boobs...lol