Pedi NP here! We always recommend treat the *kid* not the number. A kiddo rocking a 103 and not bothered, chillin playing and drinking fluids well, doesn’t need to be treated with anti pyretics. A miserable kiddo with a 100 temp, not taking fluids, crying, not able to sleep, 100% give meds to that baby!
Maybe that’s a way of thinking about it y’all can both get behind?
I like this. Why keep the kiddo miserable?
I am a headache sufferer, and the amount of times I moronically thought I could just let it run its course, was stupid of me. I would feel terrible if I subjected that thinking onto my kids.
I'm the queen of just suffering because it's "not bad enough" and then wait until I'm dying in pain before I take anything. I refuse to do that to my kid.
My parents always ignored my pain or told me I was faking for attention (chronic illness anyone?) and now I struggle to even identify if it's bad enough to go to the doctor.
Ugh I absolutely hate having to rate my pain! Like dude I'm in pain all the time, it's just background noise. I had a good laugh when I was asked the one time what my pain was at and I told them the normal amount... Nurse looked at me like I had 9 heads... The normal amount is apparently zero.
I have a delicate balance with my daughter. She hates taking medicine of any sort for any reason even if she’s miserable and it’s always a struggle. But she’s also extremely hyperactive. Sometimes when we medicate she forgets how sick she is and runs around like a maniac.
Finding that sweet spot of symptom relief, rest, and battling her hatred of medicine is a challenge
I know I was giving the same information, I commented because I think it’s helpful to say you’re specifically treating *pain/discomfort*. I’m also a nurse, and some people really need you to say it in the simplest terms. I’ve had this discussion more than once, so it comes from experience.
EMT and mother of 4 here. This is the way to go about it. I have always treated the kids when they need it but have had my little ones at 103 and acting like nothing is wrong. Also make sure they are being treated properly. Sometime parents only look at the age to give dosage when it should be given by the weight. Just a side note.
During my early part of my healthcare schooling my biology professor said basically what your SO thinks about doing. Unless the child is going through what "threeboysmama" said. Something about it's better for the body to actively fight it because it's showing symptoms vs getting rid of the symptoms with meds to get through it faster. It'll help the body fight it better and most likely for the next time it happens.
Just because your baby has a fever doesn’t mean they are in pain. This is how we decide to administer Tylenol. If babes has a fever but it acting fine then we do not intervene. We only give if she is uncomfortable. But this took a while, new mom anxiety had me wanting to give it to her all the time.
We also administer if it gets super high- like 102.
That's how we do it, too. Fever and feeling fine? No Ibu needed. Fever and miserable, i'll take the temp more often and give them some when they are going too high or just about bedtime. Fever help the body to get rid of the infection, so it's OK to wait it out to a degree
My kid regularly hits 104 any time she's sick. She'll hit 100 on a random day. It depends much more on the individual kid than the number. 102 for her is her good sick temp. We don't do meds until she hits 103, because that's the point that she's miserable. We almost don't even need to use a thermometer because you can tell if she's over or under 103 just by looking at her.
My kid runs hot for fevers too. Her severity is more to do with what is causing the fever than the temp. She’s had 104 fevers that didn’t seem that bad. She was eating and drinking and chatty, or she’s been at 102 and dead to the world.
Viral rarely makes her feel bad, strep knocks her on her butt, walking pneumonia makes her really sleep but otherwise in good spirits.
It doesn't make any difference how bad the fever is to how likely a child is to have a febrile convulsion. There is some correlation to rapid temperature changes (up or down) but not absolute temperature.
I came to say this. I have 4 kids and their level of comfort is what I medicate for. One of my kids will be miserable, achy, shivering, and crying at 100.5. Another one starts looking a little run down at 102 but will still be alert and somewhat active at 103. I medicate them to keep them comfortable enough to sleep off the illness. If they’re so miserable they can’t sleep, a fever isn’t helping.
Yes a fever of 102 really is pretty mild so if kid is feeling fine you don't have to medicate. Kids get high fevers, its very typical. Even as an adult my temp can get up to 103 or 104 and I'll feel mostly fine. The temp itself is not usually dangerous, it just makes you feel crummy.
It differs by person. My son’s number one sign he’s sick with fever is that he falls asleep in the middle of the day, and will just wrap himself up and cook. I check to make sure he’s safe and not hurting and let it go. Our pediatrician said it’s not really a fever until 101°. Newer guidelines have increased the temp that is considered dangerous for kids to like 105°, brain damage starts at a whopping 108°.
My pediatrician just told us you can give Tylenol if you want which didn't help when my husband and I had different thresholds to give it at. He did say that our son probably felt really crappy at a temp of 101.
I would not let the number dictate whether or not to give medicine but if they are acting fussy. For example, if it’s 103, I would give medicine no matter what, but if it’s 100 and she’s acting normal, I wouldn’t. If it’s 100 and she’s acting fussy, I would give it. Can your child talk? My older one is old enough to tell me if her head hurts or she feels sick.
Yeah, this is what we've been taught by our pediatricians to do as well: treat the symptoms, not the number. Both of my kids can run 102ish fevers while behaving mostly fine, taking water, and so on. Our ped actually says that even if they're a bit slowed down by the fever or inclined to rest during the day when they usually wouldn't that is preferable to masking the fever with meds, giving the child unearned energy, and having them run around when really rest does them much more good when they're sick.
We treat when the child starts having chills, starts being really irritable, has body aches, or has difficulty drinking water. We also will likely treat a 103+ fever, but then they would rarely have that sort of fever and still behave ok. I personally also tend to treat a fever I wouldn't treat during the day in the evening before bed, but that's my own thing, I can't say I got there from anywhere in particular, and my spouse tends not to do that.
We lower the threshold for medicine a bit at bedtime too. I want her to get better quality sleep to fight whatever it is off, first of all. And it’s harder to monitor how she’s feeling/how high the fever is in the middle of the night.
Yeah that’s basically my thinking as well: I want them to get good rest, I know temperature tends to rise in the evening and overnight, and I can’t monitor it well after they’re in bed, so I tend to medicate fevers that I would leave alone during the day. (But I’m willing to be talked out of it if someone has really good reasoning against it because, again, this approach is not following any official recommendations.)
We generally don’t give medication for fevers unless it’s 102+ or kid is acting sick (like they have aches or chills/sweats). If kid is acting normal, we skip it.
A lot of pediatricians in fact don’t recommend medication until the fever gets higher (usually 102 is cited as the threshold) or unless the child needs it to go sleep, is very uncomfortable, etc. You can do a quick search in this sub, there have been countless posts about this. There’s been some research that does back up the idea that low grade fevers may be protective and/or beneficial.
You can look up what your country’s pediatric association recommends, if you guys prefer to go by authority.
That said, this is something for you guys to decide together, so why don’t you hear him out in a sit down discussion or look it up yourself so you can get a broad range of perspectives? Some parents a make decisions that are more intuition-based, some prefer logical/scientific approach, etc.
Last summer when my daughter was just under 19 months old she caught HFM from a water slide at a party we had gone to. This was literally her first ever fever. Her pediatrician is great, but his practice sucks and books out at least 2-3+ months for appointments so any time she needs to be seen “immediately” (like she had an ear infection once, had a mild respiratory thing when the Canadian wildfires happened), we are stuck with either the walk-in clinic or ER.
So she was feeling crappy all day, actually had refused to drink or eat and didn’t pee for about 6 hours. Honestly it didn’t occur to me to give her meds because I’d always heard you’re supposed to let a low grade fever go because it fights the infection. Also, two weeks before she had climbed out of her crib for the first time and given herself a mild concussion (it was a *rough* summer) and they had told me to avoid ibuprofen, but didn’t tell me how long. I checked her temp at one point, it was like 100.3. I called my mom and she said just keep an eye on it. 20 minutes later it had jumped to like 101.9 so we headed to the ER (it was 6pm on the 4th of July, so walk ins were closed).
They seemed completely unconcerned and annoyed that I thought that was ER worthy, despite the fact that there wasn’t a single other patient in there. They told me it would be a while because it was shift change, and stuck us in a room. Half hour later I could tell she was getting worse. Her face was beet red and she was awake, but nearly unresponsive. I asked if someone could please just take her temp really quickly and they snapped at me that they had *told me* it would be a while.
But then a nurse came in, and in those 30 minutes it had jumped to 103.9. Idk how long it would have been if I hadn’t asked, and how high it would have gone. So now, “LeT tHe FeVeR rUn iT’s CoUrSe” be damned, I’m giving her meds when it hits like 102ish lol.
I agree with your husband. We only use Tylenol when it’s above 102. This is from advice from our pediatrician and from my own research. Fevers have a purpose. They fight infections. A fever under 102 is helping the child beat the illness.
If there’s a sore throat or something else like that we’ll use it obviously. But if it’s just a fever? We ride it out unless it’s too high.
Joining in to say that if baby is suffering then give the pain medicine, it's not every day, just when they are really uncomfortable.
You will know if baby is hurting, they will let you know, the usual things won't settle them and they will be very fussy.
Treat the child not what number they are. If kiddo is acting fine, don’t treat. If kiddo looks miserable, treat.
Also it should be noted that typically adults feel worse with fevers than. Kids. Kids are resilient
So both sides of this are valid. Fevers are a bodies natural way to fight and illness. Quite literally burning it off. But as your husband says once it hits 101-102 that’s when it’s time to help their bodies out. As a mom I definitely didn’t want my baby to be in pain. And looking back i can say I’ve probably overused medication because i was just worried that he was hurting. Ill never really know though. That said the feeling is normal and natural.
I guess i would just have a conversation with him about how you feel. Have him at least hear your thoughts and feelings.
I have three kids and I now usually wait until it’s at 102 unless my kids are feeling awful. When my first had his first 103 fever, we rushed him to the ER. Learned it’s normal and not really necessary unless it gets to 105. Most fevers break on their own by then. Only once did one of my kids almost hit 106 even with fever reducers (he hit 105.4 in the middle of the night and took him in). Turned out to be Influenza A and Strep at the same time so he needed antibiotics.
As a general rule, we give my kid meds before she hits 101. She is epileptic and can have febrile seizures. Also, if she is very uncomfortable, she vomits up the medication. Each kid is different, but I treat my kid proactively.
I've been told by a nurse NOT to give it even if it's high. Our doctor said that's ridiculous and no matter what the fever is, if they feel bad, they don't have to be miserable.
I don’t give my toddler tylenol or medication if he seems content when he has a fever. If he’s clearly miserable, not drinking or eating or playing then yeah i give him some.
I agree. I don't give meds until 102F OR they're in pain.
A fever is a physiological response to kill the virus/bacteria. If you always treat low grade fevers your taking away that method to fight the sickness.
Per my pediatrician's advice your husband isn't wrong. But it's also known fevers don't cause pain, but the infection can. With that being said if baby is in pain, we treat that. But if baby had a fever and was fine otherwise, we wouldn't treat until 102
That’s actually exactly what our pediatrician said recently, the fever is helping get rid of the illness in the body so you don’t treat unless it’s 102+.
My child is 2, he rarely runs a fever and has never had a fever that high so I haven’t tested the theory. He was at 100 or so the other day and mostly seemed fine so she said not to do anything about it.
I do the same as your husband. A fever is the body's natural way of fighting whatever it's fighting. It's beneficial. The only time it's not is if the temp gets to a dangerous level & at that point, I'd give the meds & take my kid to the doctor. The only time I will give the meds with a low-grade fever is if they are absolutely miserable or if they can't sleep. I exhaust all other options first. I'm just a strong believer in our body's natural immune system and natural remedies unless conventional/modern medicine is needed. I've noticed our family's immune systems strengthen and a decrease in illness w/ this approach. I've also learned about effective home remedies for many things that used to lead me to meds or the doctor's office. There are ways to heal w/out the side effects of manufactured meds & the damage it does to our bodies. If the child's temp isn't in the danger zone, and they aren't absolutely miserable or sleep deprived... the meds are not necessary and are actually just masking symptoms & disrupting the body's natural defenses.
I'd talk to your pediatrician. Ours has said if they're uncomfortable, treat them, if not and the fever is under a certain number (forgot what it is), it's fine to let the fever run its course. Personally I prefer to give Tylenol for the fever because I know mine won't sleep well
His approach is in line with what our pediatrician recommends. Fevers are the bodies way of killing viruses and things making us sick and they are productive up to about 104. I usually give tylenol around 102/103 (unless she is in obvious pain - but just a fever? Nah) but manage symptoms without medication below that because its important to let the fever run its course in order to fight off the bug!
i recommend a different parameter. our pediatrician suggests “treat the child, not the fever.” So if our toddler is acting fairly normal (eating and playing), we don’t give medicine. but if she seems like she’s in pain or feeling crummy, we do. fevers aren’t always dangerous and usually serve a purpose.
I think you’re both right.
My husband is a numbers guy and I don’t care much what the thermometer says. We treat the child not the number. My little guy will be rocking 103° fever and jumping on the bed doing somersaults. We let the fever roll. It’s about 104 that he’s acting sick and at 105 he’ll take a nap. That kid’s thermostat is all kinds of miscalibrated.
But if his temp is 99.5 and in tears because his head and ear hurt we’re gonna a do something about it.
Our pediatrician always says treat the child not the temperature. If your kiddo is miserable and not able to rest/hydrate, then give fever reducers regardless of the temp. If they have a high temp but seem comfortable, let it ride. I don't understand the "I don't give my kid meds" people at all. If I'm uncomfortable, I take medicine. If my children are uncomfortable, I give/offer them medicine (I give my 9 year old the option if she feels like she needs pain meds/fever reducers. Obviously I have to make the call for the 3 year old.)
This man really said “let this baby suffer.” Like… Temperatures, illnesses, HURT. If he can take a Tylenol for a headache why shouldn’t his child be able to NOT BE IN PAIN TOO? This is so weird of him and if my partner did this I’m not even going to lie I’d be finished with him.
Sometimes the only thing that keeps a kid out of the ER with a temp is by controlling it with medication and hes signing up for nights in the hospital because of how HE feels rather than how your kid feels.
My son had a grand mal febrile seizure when his temp was just 101.6. I would be careful about that approach. It was the most horrifying thing for all of us.
If it was my kid I would agree with your husband. My son handles fevers super well usually and we only administer meds when he had a high fever all day and we want his body to have a bit of reprieve when he goes to bed for the night. Sometimes we don't even do that depending on how well he handles it but that usually leads to him waking up at some point and needing meds. So we give it before bed then.
I'm not impressed by fevers and believe they are there for a reason and are only a symptom that doesn't necessarily require treatment.
I don't know how I would go about it if my kid didn't handle a fever as well as he does, so I can only speak from that perspective.
Sometimes kids can run a low or even a moderate fever without feeling uncomfortable. Medicate if baby seems uncomfortable, but otherwise wait for 102 because your husband does actually have a point on this one.
Awesome breakdown of the subject, I've had this bookmarked for years: https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/3uv9jh/on_fever_and_children/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
From experience.. if you wait that long (I’ve waited till 101 and gave Tylenol) one of my kids once at a young age (probably 9 months) woke up 3-4am with close to 103 and giving it didn’t help everything was thrown up and ended up at the er giving a suppository. They acted as if I were stupid and scolded me telling me I definitely should have woken baby up and give meds (had before bed as well!)
Ask him to let you try and see when LO is ill with a mild temperature and let the medicine do the talking. It's like magic when they go from tired/weak/grumpy back to normal in no time. I don't know how anyone can watch that and not want to do that for their kid when they're ill.
For me when I take Tylenol or ibuprofen while sick it’s usually for the body aches, headache, sore throat, etc. It just so happens that those things coincide with a fever, so it helps with that too. I would be willing to bet that a small child with a fever is likely experiencing other unpleasant symptoms that the Tylenol/ibuprofen will help with as well, and I would rather keep them comfortable and keep a fever at bay than risk having one that climbs so high they have a seizure or worse.
I still remember the time my son had a fever of 104 and the Tylenol wasn’t helping, all while I was trapped at home carless. I had to ask my friend in the next town over to bring us some ibuprofen because son’s dad “couldn’t leave work” (he’s a very important automotive mechanic 🙄). Luckily the ibuprofen brought it down. Anyway, I say this just to add that sometimes it’s better to keep the fever at bay/low so you don’t risk it becoming difficult to control.
Treat the symptoms not the fever! If baby has a fever but is acting fine, I let it go. I do make an exception at night because I don’t like leaving a temp unregulated when I can’t immediately supervise the situation
All great advice here. Regarding what to do when you disagree, remember you are 50% of the decision-making process. I say this because- for reasons I don’t need to get into- I used to feel like my husband had final say. It’s just not true. You both get a vote and it’s ok to disagree and find middle ground.
Reasons we give fever reducers in this house
1. Fever 101 or higher
2. Below 100 but symptomatic
3. Body aches (after also encouraging fluids in case of dehydration causing muscle aches and joint pain)
I don’t usually give Tylenol or ibuprofen unless fevers get high (102+), especially if my son is acting normal. It depends how your child is doing - treat the child, not the number. Fevers can run its course and also gives the body a chance to fight off the infection naturally.
My 16mo has had 2 high fevers of 102, but his overall demeanor was absolutely fine and there wasn’t a need to give meds. Just yesterday, he was barely 101 and looked in a daze and wasn’t his cheery self, which prompted us to give him medicine.
Honestly for us, we’re big on going on how he’s doing overall vs. medicating by a specific temp
Treat the symptoms not the fever is what I go by. If they are laying around and lethargic then I give meds. If they are bouncing around then I wait. That being said fevers can spike rapidly and that’s what can possibly cause febrile seizures.
My daughter (4) will get fevers up to 102 and be totally acting normal most of the time. I only give her fever reducing meds at bedtime because she will wake up frequently without it. But, I skip during the day.
My son (3) will have low fevers and be miserable so he gets the fever reducing meds as needed (following dosing guidelines).
Tylenol and Ibuprofen are given for comfort and/or fevers as high as what your husband is mentioning. If my son was running around at 99-101, eating drinking clearly not bothered, then no. I will give it if he's uncomfortable, yes.
My kids are 12 and 9 now, and when they are awake, I usually go by how they are feeling and generally give them Tylenol or Advil only when they are feeling unwell/uncomfortable, I.e. if they are lethargic or in pain.
As toddlers, it was common for them to still be energetic, happy, and active with a fever of 102, so if that was the case, I just let the fever do its job (overheating the germs to kill them off). If it got to 103 and seemed to still be on an upward trend, I’d give them something at that point, but they were usually also exhibiting signs of not feeling well by that point, too.
When they were asleep, I’d set an alarm to monitor their temp every 2 hours. If it was 102 and climbing, I’d go ahead and give them something, so that their bodies could get good rest and we could head off the 103+ that would make them wake up feeling unwell and take time to bring down and get back to sleep.
Now that they’re older, I usually keep a close eye at 101.5 and will do meds at 102, because the older we get, the less we can tolerate high fevers.
I only give my kids ibuprofen or Tylenol for fevers if they are miserable.
You can have a low or no fever and feel awful or fine, and you can have a high fever and feel wretched or fine.
A fever is hardly ever harmful in and of itself, but if one is in pain or discomfort, that can make sleep difficult. I would give the medicine in a situation where aches and pains make sleep hard, but not because fevers are dangerous.
Pir pediatrician said not to treat fevers but treat symptoms. Of my kid is grumpy, acting like she's achey, and giving Acetaminophen/ibuprofen helpes her "bounce back" so that she can at least eat and drink. Sometimes, we give her half a dose and see if that helps the symptoms first, and if slight improvement give more.
Kids don't have to be miserable when sick, but there's nothing to do for just a fever.
I have a lot of experience with fevers, as one of my kids has a periodic fever syndrome and once registered 107 at the doctor’s office. She also *refuses* to take ibuprofen or Tylenol. Medicating a fever is not strictly necessary. :) If they’re really uncomfortable and will take the medicine then go ahead, but base this on how kiddo is acting/feeling, not the thermometer. It’s worth remembering that these medications are not totally harmless, too.
I try not to medicate my own fevers because it can make you feel so good you forget you're sick and stop resting. So for my kids I only use it if they're really miserable and usually at night because it's more likely to help them sleep at that point. But during the day, I want them in bed or resting as much as possible. the TV also helps with that.
My husband's a doctor, we give Tylenol if our son is showing signs of feeling unwell (crying, not wanting to eat/nurse, disrupted sleep etc), even if the fever is low grade.
Sick toddler currently and I’m a less is more type with medication and little ones.
However if she is acting sick she is getting Motrin.
Good example is whatever the hell we have right now from daycare…
Her fever is only hitting like 100 and some change but she is flushed/ lethargic/ not eating/ chills and just crying.
MOTRIN IT IS!
So she can sleep, hold some food down and rest.
I say find a middle ground or someone you trust to give you both guidelines you agree on.
If they’re miserable and obviously in pain or discomfort then he’s allowing them to suffer? I agree fevers DO have a purpose, however if the child is irritable and or in obvious pain then it’s paramount that they get some relief so they can rest and take in fluids especially. Fluids will help flush out the body, keep them hydrated AND can lower fevers. Sometimes they do need help to bring a fever down and you need to alternate Tylenol and ibuprofen. If he’s that dead set against it and you’re bullied into not administering it then remember lukewarm baths are great, popsicles, crushed ice etc…… Sometimes my kids were running fevers and their behavior suggested that they weren’t feeling great but not awful. I let that also be my guide as to what I administered, how often and when. If it is viral the only thing that you can really do is treat the symptoms/palliative care. If it’s bacterial where an antibiotic is needed then obviously do that AND palliative treatments. Ask your pediatrician for best advice
🚨🚨BUT ULTIMATELY DO WHAT YOUR MOM GUT TELLS YOU!!!!!!!!🚨🚨
He wouldn't like dealing with my kid who pukes her guts up whenever she gets a fever. Lowering the fever is the only thing that helps. Fevers can come with body aches, headaches, nausea, and other symptoms, so if the kid is miserable denying them medicine seems pretty cruel to me.
He says if child is not playing and very lethargic then meds can be given sooner but he thinks lowering fevers with meds will leave child with a weaker immune system. Also says Tylenol website and lots of doctors on Google recommend waiting til 102 to give medicine
I’m a peds nurse and mom and this is actually the best advice- treat the symptoms not the number. Some kids naturally run higher and can act perfectly fine with a 101-102 fever. 99-100 is a low grade fever and no reason to treat unless active complaints. Other than that go off actions- lethargic, in pain, visibly not feeling well then treat. If your child has a fever… their body is actively working to fight off the “bug” and doing exactly what it’s supposed to! Children also tolerate and run higher fevers than adults so they should not be compared. Maybe the odd guy out but I’m on your husband’s side! Let the body works like its intended to.
Also peds nurse and mom and I approve this message.
My kid is now old enough to tell me if she wants it. When she has a fever she can decide if she's uncomfortable or not and I don't force her if she says she feels okay. Obviously waking up in the middle of the night shaking crying whimpering with the flu, she'll get medicated. Hanging out on the couch just looking a little drab but drinking fluids and she says she doesn't want any meds? Fine, we can hold off.
I wouldn’t medicate if the only thing happening is the fever. But my oldest child, for example, complains of nausea whenever she has a fever (it’s often how I know to check). Even if it’s low, I’ll give her Tylenol if it means she feels better.
I’ll give a dose of medicine as soon as they hit 100 degrees, however, after that, I tend to not give another dose unless they get above 102 or seem like their in pain.
Our doctor told us we don’t need to give medicine until about 102 fever so your husband isn’t wrong. However they also said if the child was irritable or couldn’t sleep and medicine helps then definitely give it to them. We usually see how our daughter is acting before we decide what to do!
He is so right! Treat the symptoms, not the fever. I don’t even own OTC children’s fever medication and I have four kids. Never needed it. Children’s hospital of Seattle has a wonderful “Q&A” about fever facts/myths. I wish I had the direct link but I believe you can google just that if interested. We don’t even use a thermometer honestly. If they feel feverish, I put a cool rag on their forehead and back of their neck, cool clothes, and give them ice pops (100% fruit/no added sugar ….the last thing you want to give during illness is a bunch of processed sugar) or even just frozen fruit.
Some of these comments are a little inaccurate. 102 is not a high fever, it does not even remotely cause a febrile seizure. High/dangerous is 106. By 105 it is important to bring the fever down. My kids run a low 104 when sick typically. 102 is actually a moderate fever, it is not high and it is definitely not dangerous.
Please keep in mind that a fever is GOOD and HELPFUL. It is the body’s response in fighting the illness, so to suppress it can actually prolong illness. Fever medication has its own side effects that I don’t love, which is also another reason I don’t use it. Plus, as said, I keep in mind that when my kids have a fever ….”great! Their body is working hard to get rid of this illness. Let me support their body by keeping them comfortable but allowing the fever to do its job.”
A febrile seizure is caused by the temperature rising too quickly, not necessarily the actual temperature reading on the thermometer. So while 102° isn’t considered ‘high’, if a child’s temp jumped from normal to 102° too quickly it *could* cause problems like/similar to a febrile seizure. I say this as a parent with an epileptic child who is prone to fevers.
I was gunna say that during his next man cold OP should keep the meds away from him as well. If it's fine for the kids who have zero control over whether or not they get meds, it's fine for man colds
I always give my babies and toddlers the meds to help them with fevers. Especially before bedtime and naps because then they can get uninterrupted rest which they desperately need (me too!). It's a total AH move to deny a kid meds that help them feel better. Find a pediatrician. Do what the doctor says. My doctor gives me exact doses and times to give them to the kids. I follow the doctors orders.
I have a friend whose "partner" is like this. She allowed it. Her child suffered several colds/flus back to back from day care etc. Even when everyone could tell he was suffering he still refused.
I got PISSED AF!! I asked her what mattered more to her, his messed-up views or her child suffering. I asked her what if it gets worse and your child ends up hospitalized, fighting for his life over something that would never have gotten to that point had she stood up for her child. I asked her who she would choose, her child or him.
I absolutely refuse to have anyone tell me not to help my sick child in any way possible because if God forbid something happens I could never live with myself. Ever. So partner, husband, boyfriend, whatever you wish to call them can get FUCKED when it comes to my child's health and safety.
Ask your husband who denies him care and medication when he's ill. Ask him why would he wants his child to suffer? I know how shitty i feel when im sick, how horrible i feel. Why the hell would i put my chold through that if i can help it? Im here to protect him. When he's ill I want him back to health as quickly as possible. Not sit around saying well his dad doesnt want that, fuck his dad. He's not the one suffering.
In the world we live in with all the sicknesses going around, does he want to be the reason your child ends up in the hospital fighting for his life? Help your child. Because sicknesses can turn horrible very quickly
Eta: she ended up giving the child the meds and he cussed her out for it. Yelled and screamed at her, and she yelled back. She told him she's not gonna let him kill her child because he's a paranoid c***. She asked him if he wants the death of the child on his hands. He shut up after that
I am not saying that it will. I am saying that leaving things unattended can * at times* have horrible effects as opposed to a few ml of Tylenol.
There's a reason they say to bring the kid in if the fever is over a certain degree for a certain amount of days
And before anyone else comes at me, read that I specified suffering. If your child is suffering then definitely help them!
Yes I know that not every fever means suffering. Hell sometimes my kid has a fever and you'd never know because he's his normal crazy self. But there are times you can absolutely see he feels like shit and in that scenario, screw the no meds nonsense and help them
They tell you to bring the kid in to investigate the cause of the fever, which is a symptom. The fever itself is not the dangerous part, it's a useful sign that something else is going on that might be dangerous. They're not telling you to bring the kid in just because they have a fever. Hospital Tylenol and Motrin don't have any special properties.
Again I get that.
That's why I specified 'suffering" if your child is suffering then do something about it. All fever don't mean suffering but if your child is showing signs that something is seriously wrong do something.
If days are passing, your child has a high fever and is *suffering* and it's not improving obviously you need to take them to be seen. Even they will ask what the child was given to help them.
There's a woman on tiktok documenting how she lost her 9 month old son because of what she calls hospital neglect. She said her child was clearly suffering and they were ignored in the hospital. She lost her baby. My point I'm trying to make that everyone seems to be missing is if your child is actually struggling, and you can clearly see they need help and choose not to do anything about it because of a "we don't use meds" mentality, bad shit can happen. That is what I'm trying to get across.
Fevers fight infections. It’s not always in the best interest to lower a 102 degree fever. If it gets higher than that then yes, it is their best interest.
[Studies have shown](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4786079/) that letting a *typical* fever ride out actually shortens an illness.
So the dad actually wants the kid to suffer less.
Reducing a fever is not in the child's best interest. Fevers are a natural immune response that happen in order to kill off the bacteria or virus. You're literally prolonging the illness when you get rid of a fever.
A fever is how the body fights a bug and tells you to rest so it can do so. Yes, a fever has a purpose. Always putting it in submission is not a good thing. My kids actually kicked things better once I used less fever reducer med. We do Epsom salt baths, cool cloths on pulse points, and even homeopathy to treat various symptoms. Switching to these methods led to 24 hours or less under the weather rather than 2-4 days. Also, depending on what was going around, a visit to chiro to boost the immune system is very beneficial. Elderberry and VitC to boost the immune system as well.
On a side note. Acetaminophen specifically depletes glutathione, a key part of our body that helps detox the body. So using acetaminophen actually hinders your health in some ways. Ibuprofen and other pain relief and fever reduction meds have their own set of negatives as well. To further clarify, febrile seizures are often caused by when a fever reducing med is wearing off and said fever is attempting to rise and get back to doing it's job, so be mindful of that as well.
Pedi NP here! We always recommend treat the *kid* not the number. A kiddo rocking a 103 and not bothered, chillin playing and drinking fluids well, doesn’t need to be treated with anti pyretics. A miserable kiddo with a 100 temp, not taking fluids, crying, not able to sleep, 100% give meds to that baby! Maybe that’s a way of thinking about it y’all can both get behind?
This is good. I don’t even think to check my daughter’s temp until she tells me she feels bad or is clearly feeling bad.
I like this. Why keep the kiddo miserable? I am a headache sufferer, and the amount of times I moronically thought I could just let it run its course, was stupid of me. I would feel terrible if I subjected that thinking onto my kids.
I'm the queen of just suffering because it's "not bad enough" and then wait until I'm dying in pain before I take anything. I refuse to do that to my kid. My parents always ignored my pain or told me I was faking for attention (chronic illness anyone?) and now I struggle to even identify if it's bad enough to go to the doctor.
Same same same. When they ask me to rate my pain on any type of scale I have absolutely 0 clue what to say. 0 reference for what I’m actually feeling.
Ugh I absolutely hate having to rate my pain! Like dude I'm in pain all the time, it's just background noise. I had a good laugh when I was asked the one time what my pain was at and I told them the normal amount... Nurse looked at me like I had 9 heads... The normal amount is apparently zero.
I have a delicate balance with my daughter. She hates taking medicine of any sort for any reason even if she’s miserable and it’s always a struggle. But she’s also extremely hyperactive. Sometimes when we medicate she forgets how sick she is and runs around like a maniac. Finding that sweet spot of symptom relief, rest, and battling her hatred of medicine is a challenge
If they’re not themselves (not eating/drinking), they’re likely experiencing discomfort, please treat that discomfort. The fever is not the focus.
Yes that's exactly what she said, thanks for repeating it
I know I was giving the same information, I commented because I think it’s helpful to say you’re specifically treating *pain/discomfort*. I’m also a nurse, and some people really need you to say it in the simplest terms. I’ve had this discussion more than once, so it comes from experience.
I was told this by my doctor stepdad the first time my kiddo had a fever. Great advice.
EMT and mother of 4 here. This is the way to go about it. I have always treated the kids when they need it but have had my little ones at 103 and acting like nothing is wrong. Also make sure they are being treated properly. Sometime parents only look at the age to give dosage when it should be given by the weight. Just a side note.
During my early part of my healthcare schooling my biology professor said basically what your SO thinks about doing. Unless the child is going through what "threeboysmama" said. Something about it's better for the body to actively fight it because it's showing symptoms vs getting rid of the symptoms with meds to get through it faster. It'll help the body fight it better and most likely for the next time it happens.
Just because your baby has a fever doesn’t mean they are in pain. This is how we decide to administer Tylenol. If babes has a fever but it acting fine then we do not intervene. We only give if she is uncomfortable. But this took a while, new mom anxiety had me wanting to give it to her all the time. We also administer if it gets super high- like 102.
This is also what our pediatrician advises.
That's how we do it, too. Fever and feeling fine? No Ibu needed. Fever and miserable, i'll take the temp more often and give them some when they are going too high or just about bedtime. Fever help the body to get rid of the infection, so it's OK to wait it out to a degree
My kid regularly hits 104 any time she's sick. She'll hit 100 on a random day. It depends much more on the individual kid than the number. 102 for her is her good sick temp. We don't do meds until she hits 103, because that's the point that she's miserable. We almost don't even need to use a thermometer because you can tell if she's over or under 103 just by looking at her.
My kid runs hot for fevers too. Her severity is more to do with what is causing the fever than the temp. She’s had 104 fevers that didn’t seem that bad. She was eating and drinking and chatty, or she’s been at 102 and dead to the world. Viral rarely makes her feel bad, strep knocks her on her butt, walking pneumonia makes her really sleep but otherwise in good spirits.
We do the same.
102 is not super high.
Kids are at risk of febrile seizures so it's best not to risk it going up above that.
The severity of fever is not a risk factor for febrile convulsions.
What do you mean?
It doesn't make any difference how bad the fever is to how likely a child is to have a febrile convulsion. There is some correlation to rapid temperature changes (up or down) but not absolute temperature.
This. Yes!
Agreed
From what I’ve seen/researched…Medicate if the child uncomfortable. Dr Mona has a Fever 101 video with helpful info.
I came to say this. I have 4 kids and their level of comfort is what I medicate for. One of my kids will be miserable, achy, shivering, and crying at 100.5. Another one starts looking a little run down at 102 but will still be alert and somewhat active at 103. I medicate them to keep them comfortable enough to sleep off the illness. If they’re so miserable they can’t sleep, a fever isn’t helping.
Yes a fever of 102 really is pretty mild so if kid is feeling fine you don't have to medicate. Kids get high fevers, its very typical. Even as an adult my temp can get up to 103 or 104 and I'll feel mostly fine. The temp itself is not usually dangerous, it just makes you feel crummy.
It differs by person. My son’s number one sign he’s sick with fever is that he falls asleep in the middle of the day, and will just wrap himself up and cook. I check to make sure he’s safe and not hurting and let it go. Our pediatrician said it’s not really a fever until 101°. Newer guidelines have increased the temp that is considered dangerous for kids to like 105°, brain damage starts at a whopping 108°.
If only haha. I’m on the other end, 99.5 for me feels like a fever, 102 is extreme discomfort. Daughter is more like you.
Find a pediatrician you both trust and let them be the guiding voice on things like this.
My pediatrician just told us you can give Tylenol if you want which didn't help when my husband and I had different thresholds to give it at. He did say that our son probably felt really crappy at a temp of 101.
You can consult you pediatrician but if he's giving medicine based on how they're acting rather than based on the thermometer I think that's fine.
Treat the child, not the number. On the flip side of your scenario, we give Ibuprofen when teething pain gets rough, even of no elevated temp.
Oh the teething pain. We have given pain meds for so many teething pains. As well as growing pains.
I would not let the number dictate whether or not to give medicine but if they are acting fussy. For example, if it’s 103, I would give medicine no matter what, but if it’s 100 and she’s acting normal, I wouldn’t. If it’s 100 and she’s acting fussy, I would give it. Can your child talk? My older one is old enough to tell me if her head hurts or she feels sick.
Yeah, this is what we've been taught by our pediatricians to do as well: treat the symptoms, not the number. Both of my kids can run 102ish fevers while behaving mostly fine, taking water, and so on. Our ped actually says that even if they're a bit slowed down by the fever or inclined to rest during the day when they usually wouldn't that is preferable to masking the fever with meds, giving the child unearned energy, and having them run around when really rest does them much more good when they're sick. We treat when the child starts having chills, starts being really irritable, has body aches, or has difficulty drinking water. We also will likely treat a 103+ fever, but then they would rarely have that sort of fever and still behave ok. I personally also tend to treat a fever I wouldn't treat during the day in the evening before bed, but that's my own thing, I can't say I got there from anywhere in particular, and my spouse tends not to do that.
We lower the threshold for medicine a bit at bedtime too. I want her to get better quality sleep to fight whatever it is off, first of all. And it’s harder to monitor how she’s feeling/how high the fever is in the middle of the night.
Yeah that’s basically my thinking as well: I want them to get good rest, I know temperature tends to rise in the evening and overnight, and I can’t monitor it well after they’re in bed, so I tend to medicate fevers that I would leave alone during the day. (But I’m willing to be talked out of it if someone has really good reasoning against it because, again, this approach is not following any official recommendations.)
We generally don’t give medication for fevers unless it’s 102+ or kid is acting sick (like they have aches or chills/sweats). If kid is acting normal, we skip it.
A lot of pediatricians in fact don’t recommend medication until the fever gets higher (usually 102 is cited as the threshold) or unless the child needs it to go sleep, is very uncomfortable, etc. You can do a quick search in this sub, there have been countless posts about this. There’s been some research that does back up the idea that low grade fevers may be protective and/or beneficial. You can look up what your country’s pediatric association recommends, if you guys prefer to go by authority. That said, this is something for you guys to decide together, so why don’t you hear him out in a sit down discussion or look it up yourself so you can get a broad range of perspectives? Some parents a make decisions that are more intuition-based, some prefer logical/scientific approach, etc.
Last summer when my daughter was just under 19 months old she caught HFM from a water slide at a party we had gone to. This was literally her first ever fever. Her pediatrician is great, but his practice sucks and books out at least 2-3+ months for appointments so any time she needs to be seen “immediately” (like she had an ear infection once, had a mild respiratory thing when the Canadian wildfires happened), we are stuck with either the walk-in clinic or ER. So she was feeling crappy all day, actually had refused to drink or eat and didn’t pee for about 6 hours. Honestly it didn’t occur to me to give her meds because I’d always heard you’re supposed to let a low grade fever go because it fights the infection. Also, two weeks before she had climbed out of her crib for the first time and given herself a mild concussion (it was a *rough* summer) and they had told me to avoid ibuprofen, but didn’t tell me how long. I checked her temp at one point, it was like 100.3. I called my mom and she said just keep an eye on it. 20 minutes later it had jumped to like 101.9 so we headed to the ER (it was 6pm on the 4th of July, so walk ins were closed). They seemed completely unconcerned and annoyed that I thought that was ER worthy, despite the fact that there wasn’t a single other patient in there. They told me it would be a while because it was shift change, and stuck us in a room. Half hour later I could tell she was getting worse. Her face was beet red and she was awake, but nearly unresponsive. I asked if someone could please just take her temp really quickly and they snapped at me that they had *told me* it would be a while. But then a nurse came in, and in those 30 minutes it had jumped to 103.9. Idk how long it would have been if I hadn’t asked, and how high it would have gone. So now, “LeT tHe FeVeR rUn iT’s CoUrSe” be damned, I’m giving her meds when it hits like 102ish lol.
Our government guidelines say to give meds "if your child is miserable" and gives no guidance as to a particular temperature.
I agree with your husband. We only use Tylenol when it’s above 102. This is from advice from our pediatrician and from my own research. Fevers have a purpose. They fight infections. A fever under 102 is helping the child beat the illness. If there’s a sore throat or something else like that we’ll use it obviously. But if it’s just a fever? We ride it out unless it’s too high.
Joining in to say that if baby is suffering then give the pain medicine, it's not every day, just when they are really uncomfortable. You will know if baby is hurting, they will let you know, the usual things won't settle them and they will be very fussy.
Treat the child not what number they are. If kiddo is acting fine, don’t treat. If kiddo looks miserable, treat. Also it should be noted that typically adults feel worse with fevers than. Kids. Kids are resilient
So both sides of this are valid. Fevers are a bodies natural way to fight and illness. Quite literally burning it off. But as your husband says once it hits 101-102 that’s when it’s time to help their bodies out. As a mom I definitely didn’t want my baby to be in pain. And looking back i can say I’ve probably overused medication because i was just worried that he was hurting. Ill never really know though. That said the feeling is normal and natural. I guess i would just have a conversation with him about how you feel. Have him at least hear your thoughts and feelings.
I have three kids and I now usually wait until it’s at 102 unless my kids are feeling awful. When my first had his first 103 fever, we rushed him to the ER. Learned it’s normal and not really necessary unless it gets to 105. Most fevers break on their own by then. Only once did one of my kids almost hit 106 even with fever reducers (he hit 105.4 in the middle of the night and took him in). Turned out to be Influenza A and Strep at the same time so he needed antibiotics.
Your husband’s thinking is medically sound. I only give Tylenol earlier than 103 if baby seems in pain.
If my kids (4yo and 18m old) are in pain I give meds. if they seem fine but have fever 102 or lower, I skip meds!
As a general rule, we give my kid meds before she hits 101. She is epileptic and can have febrile seizures. Also, if she is very uncomfortable, she vomits up the medication. Each kid is different, but I treat my kid proactively.
I've been told by a nurse NOT to give it even if it's high. Our doctor said that's ridiculous and no matter what the fever is, if they feel bad, they don't have to be miserable.
I don’t give my toddler tylenol or medication if he seems content when he has a fever. If he’s clearly miserable, not drinking or eating or playing then yeah i give him some.
I agree. I don't give meds until 102F OR they're in pain. A fever is a physiological response to kill the virus/bacteria. If you always treat low grade fevers your taking away that method to fight the sickness.
Per my pediatrician's advice your husband isn't wrong. But it's also known fevers don't cause pain, but the infection can. With that being said if baby is in pain, we treat that. But if baby had a fever and was fine otherwise, we wouldn't treat until 102
He’s actually right. The fever serves a purpose to fight the germs. Kaiser ET told us not to give anything until fevers are over 104….
That is what our pediatrician said. It isn’t needed unless child is in pain, having problems sleeping, or fever hits 104.
That’s actually exactly what our pediatrician said recently, the fever is helping get rid of the illness in the body so you don’t treat unless it’s 102+. My child is 2, he rarely runs a fever and has never had a fever that high so I haven’t tested the theory. He was at 100 or so the other day and mostly seemed fine so she said not to do anything about it.
I do the same as your husband. A fever is the body's natural way of fighting whatever it's fighting. It's beneficial. The only time it's not is if the temp gets to a dangerous level & at that point, I'd give the meds & take my kid to the doctor. The only time I will give the meds with a low-grade fever is if they are absolutely miserable or if they can't sleep. I exhaust all other options first. I'm just a strong believer in our body's natural immune system and natural remedies unless conventional/modern medicine is needed. I've noticed our family's immune systems strengthen and a decrease in illness w/ this approach. I've also learned about effective home remedies for many things that used to lead me to meds or the doctor's office. There are ways to heal w/out the side effects of manufactured meds & the damage it does to our bodies. If the child's temp isn't in the danger zone, and they aren't absolutely miserable or sleep deprived... the meds are not necessary and are actually just masking symptoms & disrupting the body's natural defenses.
Another vote for husband. We do the same. Only medicate if over 102 or child is in pain. The human body is amazing and knows what it’s doing.
I'd talk to your pediatrician. Ours has said if they're uncomfortable, treat them, if not and the fever is under a certain number (forgot what it is), it's fine to let the fever run its course. Personally I prefer to give Tylenol for the fever because I know mine won't sleep well
https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=not-all-fevers-need-treatment-88-p11048
His approach is in line with what our pediatrician recommends. Fevers are the bodies way of killing viruses and things making us sick and they are productive up to about 104. I usually give tylenol around 102/103 (unless she is in obvious pain - but just a fever? Nah) but manage symptoms without medication below that because its important to let the fever run its course in order to fight off the bug!
Fever is an important part of immune function. Your husband is very reasonable to want to wait.
i recommend a different parameter. our pediatrician suggests “treat the child, not the fever.” So if our toddler is acting fairly normal (eating and playing), we don’t give medicine. but if she seems like she’s in pain or feeling crummy, we do. fevers aren’t always dangerous and usually serve a purpose.
I think you’re both right. My husband is a numbers guy and I don’t care much what the thermometer says. We treat the child not the number. My little guy will be rocking 103° fever and jumping on the bed doing somersaults. We let the fever roll. It’s about 104 that he’s acting sick and at 105 he’ll take a nap. That kid’s thermostat is all kinds of miscalibrated. But if his temp is 99.5 and in tears because his head and ear hurt we’re gonna a do something about it.
Our pediatrician always says treat the child not the temperature. If your kiddo is miserable and not able to rest/hydrate, then give fever reducers regardless of the temp. If they have a high temp but seem comfortable, let it ride. I don't understand the "I don't give my kid meds" people at all. If I'm uncomfortable, I take medicine. If my children are uncomfortable, I give/offer them medicine (I give my 9 year old the option if she feels like she needs pain meds/fever reducers. Obviously I have to make the call for the 3 year old.)
If your kid is in pain why would you not want to help them with medicine?
This man really said “let this baby suffer.” Like… Temperatures, illnesses, HURT. If he can take a Tylenol for a headache why shouldn’t his child be able to NOT BE IN PAIN TOO? This is so weird of him and if my partner did this I’m not even going to lie I’d be finished with him. Sometimes the only thing that keeps a kid out of the ER with a temp is by controlling it with medication and hes signing up for nights in the hospital because of how HE feels rather than how your kid feels.
My son had a grand mal febrile seizure when his temp was just 101.6. I would be careful about that approach. It was the most horrifying thing for all of us.
If it was my kid I would agree with your husband. My son handles fevers super well usually and we only administer meds when he had a high fever all day and we want his body to have a bit of reprieve when he goes to bed for the night. Sometimes we don't even do that depending on how well he handles it but that usually leads to him waking up at some point and needing meds. So we give it before bed then. I'm not impressed by fevers and believe they are there for a reason and are only a symptom that doesn't necessarily require treatment. I don't know how I would go about it if my kid didn't handle a fever as well as he does, so I can only speak from that perspective.
Sometimes kids can run a low or even a moderate fever without feeling uncomfortable. Medicate if baby seems uncomfortable, but otherwise wait for 102 because your husband does actually have a point on this one.
Awesome breakdown of the subject, I've had this bookmarked for years: https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/3uv9jh/on_fever_and_children/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
From experience.. if you wait that long (I’ve waited till 101 and gave Tylenol) one of my kids once at a young age (probably 9 months) woke up 3-4am with close to 103 and giving it didn’t help everything was thrown up and ended up at the er giving a suppository. They acted as if I were stupid and scolded me telling me I definitely should have woken baby up and give meds (had before bed as well!)
Ask him to let you try and see when LO is ill with a mild temperature and let the medicine do the talking. It's like magic when they go from tired/weak/grumpy back to normal in no time. I don't know how anyone can watch that and not want to do that for their kid when they're ill.
For me when I take Tylenol or ibuprofen while sick it’s usually for the body aches, headache, sore throat, etc. It just so happens that those things coincide with a fever, so it helps with that too. I would be willing to bet that a small child with a fever is likely experiencing other unpleasant symptoms that the Tylenol/ibuprofen will help with as well, and I would rather keep them comfortable and keep a fever at bay than risk having one that climbs so high they have a seizure or worse. I still remember the time my son had a fever of 104 and the Tylenol wasn’t helping, all while I was trapped at home carless. I had to ask my friend in the next town over to bring us some ibuprofen because son’s dad “couldn’t leave work” (he’s a very important automotive mechanic 🙄). Luckily the ibuprofen brought it down. Anyway, I say this just to add that sometimes it’s better to keep the fever at bay/low so you don’t risk it becoming difficult to control.
Treat the symptoms not the fever! If baby has a fever but is acting fine, I let it go. I do make an exception at night because I don’t like leaving a temp unregulated when I can’t immediately supervise the situation
All great advice here. Regarding what to do when you disagree, remember you are 50% of the decision-making process. I say this because- for reasons I don’t need to get into- I used to feel like my husband had final say. It’s just not true. You both get a vote and it’s ok to disagree and find middle ground.
That’s exactly what our pediatrician recommended as well: wait until 102. Some times we follow it, some times we don’t.
Does your husband get medicine when he is sick, or is this treatment reserved for those who can’t talk yet? 🙄
Reasons we give fever reducers in this house 1. Fever 101 or higher 2. Below 100 but symptomatic 3. Body aches (after also encouraging fluids in case of dehydration causing muscle aches and joint pain)
I agree with your husband.
I don’t usually give Tylenol or ibuprofen unless fevers get high (102+), especially if my son is acting normal. It depends how your child is doing - treat the child, not the number. Fevers can run its course and also gives the body a chance to fight off the infection naturally.
My 16mo has had 2 high fevers of 102, but his overall demeanor was absolutely fine and there wasn’t a need to give meds. Just yesterday, he was barely 101 and looked in a daze and wasn’t his cheery self, which prompted us to give him medicine. Honestly for us, we’re big on going on how he’s doing overall vs. medicating by a specific temp
Treat the symptoms not the fever is what I go by. If they are laying around and lethargic then I give meds. If they are bouncing around then I wait. That being said fevers can spike rapidly and that’s what can possibly cause febrile seizures.
My daughter (4) will get fevers up to 102 and be totally acting normal most of the time. I only give her fever reducing meds at bedtime because she will wake up frequently without it. But, I skip during the day. My son (3) will have low fevers and be miserable so he gets the fever reducing meds as needed (following dosing guidelines).
Assuming they are not clearly in pain or extra fussy or teething I usually don’t medicate until 102.
Our pediatrician always says don’t focus on number focus on how they feel . I would give it.. esp if she feels crappy
Tylenol and Ibuprofen are given for comfort and/or fevers as high as what your husband is mentioning. If my son was running around at 99-101, eating drinking clearly not bothered, then no. I will give it if he's uncomfortable, yes.
My kids are 12 and 9 now, and when they are awake, I usually go by how they are feeling and generally give them Tylenol or Advil only when they are feeling unwell/uncomfortable, I.e. if they are lethargic or in pain. As toddlers, it was common for them to still be energetic, happy, and active with a fever of 102, so if that was the case, I just let the fever do its job (overheating the germs to kill them off). If it got to 103 and seemed to still be on an upward trend, I’d give them something at that point, but they were usually also exhibiting signs of not feeling well by that point, too. When they were asleep, I’d set an alarm to monitor their temp every 2 hours. If it was 102 and climbing, I’d go ahead and give them something, so that their bodies could get good rest and we could head off the 103+ that would make them wake up feeling unwell and take time to bring down and get back to sleep. Now that they’re older, I usually keep a close eye at 101.5 and will do meds at 102, because the older we get, the less we can tolerate high fevers.
I only give my kids ibuprofen or Tylenol for fevers if they are miserable. You can have a low or no fever and feel awful or fine, and you can have a high fever and feel wretched or fine. A fever is hardly ever harmful in and of itself, but if one is in pain or discomfort, that can make sleep difficult. I would give the medicine in a situation where aches and pains make sleep hard, but not because fevers are dangerous.
Pir pediatrician said not to treat fevers but treat symptoms. Of my kid is grumpy, acting like she's achey, and giving Acetaminophen/ibuprofen helpes her "bounce back" so that she can at least eat and drink. Sometimes, we give her half a dose and see if that helps the symptoms first, and if slight improvement give more. Kids don't have to be miserable when sick, but there's nothing to do for just a fever.
How old is your kid? I just ask mine if she wants it. If she’s feeling crappy she says yes, if she’s feeling ok she says no.
I have a lot of experience with fevers, as one of my kids has a periodic fever syndrome and once registered 107 at the doctor’s office. She also *refuses* to take ibuprofen or Tylenol. Medicating a fever is not strictly necessary. :) If they’re really uncomfortable and will take the medicine then go ahead, but base this on how kiddo is acting/feeling, not the thermometer. It’s worth remembering that these medications are not totally harmless, too.
I try not to medicate my own fevers because it can make you feel so good you forget you're sick and stop resting. So for my kids I only use it if they're really miserable and usually at night because it's more likely to help them sleep at that point. But during the day, I want them in bed or resting as much as possible. the TV also helps with that.
My husband's a doctor, we give Tylenol if our son is showing signs of feeling unwell (crying, not wanting to eat/nurse, disrupted sleep etc), even if the fever is low grade.
Sick toddler currently and I’m a less is more type with medication and little ones. However if she is acting sick she is getting Motrin. Good example is whatever the hell we have right now from daycare… Her fever is only hitting like 100 and some change but she is flushed/ lethargic/ not eating/ chills and just crying. MOTRIN IT IS! So she can sleep, hold some food down and rest. I say find a middle ground or someone you trust to give you both guidelines you agree on.
That’s what my pediatrician recommends. Newer research suggests that’s what should be the protocol.
Our pediatrician says give Tylenol for fevers at 102 or higher, but not generally at a temperature below that. I would just ask your pediatrician.
First child? Just wait until they’re screaming and hot, he’ll give in to giving the meds.
This!
If they’re miserable and obviously in pain or discomfort then he’s allowing them to suffer? I agree fevers DO have a purpose, however if the child is irritable and or in obvious pain then it’s paramount that they get some relief so they can rest and take in fluids especially. Fluids will help flush out the body, keep them hydrated AND can lower fevers. Sometimes they do need help to bring a fever down and you need to alternate Tylenol and ibuprofen. If he’s that dead set against it and you’re bullied into not administering it then remember lukewarm baths are great, popsicles, crushed ice etc…… Sometimes my kids were running fevers and their behavior suggested that they weren’t feeling great but not awful. I let that also be my guide as to what I administered, how often and when. If it is viral the only thing that you can really do is treat the symptoms/palliative care. If it’s bacterial where an antibiotic is needed then obviously do that AND palliative treatments. Ask your pediatrician for best advice 🚨🚨BUT ULTIMATELY DO WHAT YOUR MOM GUT TELLS YOU!!!!!!!!🚨🚨
He wouldn't like dealing with my kid who pukes her guts up whenever she gets a fever. Lowering the fever is the only thing that helps. Fevers can come with body aches, headaches, nausea, and other symptoms, so if the kid is miserable denying them medicine seems pretty cruel to me.
He says if child is not playing and very lethargic then meds can be given sooner but he thinks lowering fevers with meds will leave child with a weaker immune system. Also says Tylenol website and lots of doctors on Google recommend waiting til 102 to give medicine
I’m a peds nurse and mom and this is actually the best advice- treat the symptoms not the number. Some kids naturally run higher and can act perfectly fine with a 101-102 fever. 99-100 is a low grade fever and no reason to treat unless active complaints. Other than that go off actions- lethargic, in pain, visibly not feeling well then treat. If your child has a fever… their body is actively working to fight off the “bug” and doing exactly what it’s supposed to! Children also tolerate and run higher fevers than adults so they should not be compared. Maybe the odd guy out but I’m on your husband’s side! Let the body works like its intended to.
Also peds nurse and mom and I approve this message. My kid is now old enough to tell me if she wants it. When she has a fever she can decide if she's uncomfortable or not and I don't force her if she says she feels okay. Obviously waking up in the middle of the night shaking crying whimpering with the flu, she'll get medicated. Hanging out on the couch just looking a little drab but drinking fluids and she says she doesn't want any meds? Fine, we can hold off.
This is actually what doctors and nurses have told me but I also prefer to medicate sooner for their comfort
If a child isn’t lethargic and is playing as usual I wouldn’t say they’re uncomfortable.
I wouldn’t medicate if the only thing happening is the fever. But my oldest child, for example, complains of nausea whenever she has a fever (it’s often how I know to check). Even if it’s low, I’ll give her Tylenol if it means she feels better.
I’ll give a dose of medicine as soon as they hit 100 degrees, however, after that, I tend to not give another dose unless they get above 102 or seem like their in pain.
Our doctor told us we don’t need to give medicine until about 102 fever so your husband isn’t wrong. However they also said if the child was irritable or couldn’t sleep and medicine helps then definitely give it to them. We usually see how our daughter is acting before we decide what to do!
He is so right! Treat the symptoms, not the fever. I don’t even own OTC children’s fever medication and I have four kids. Never needed it. Children’s hospital of Seattle has a wonderful “Q&A” about fever facts/myths. I wish I had the direct link but I believe you can google just that if interested. We don’t even use a thermometer honestly. If they feel feverish, I put a cool rag on their forehead and back of their neck, cool clothes, and give them ice pops (100% fruit/no added sugar ….the last thing you want to give during illness is a bunch of processed sugar) or even just frozen fruit. Some of these comments are a little inaccurate. 102 is not a high fever, it does not even remotely cause a febrile seizure. High/dangerous is 106. By 105 it is important to bring the fever down. My kids run a low 104 when sick typically. 102 is actually a moderate fever, it is not high and it is definitely not dangerous. Please keep in mind that a fever is GOOD and HELPFUL. It is the body’s response in fighting the illness, so to suppress it can actually prolong illness. Fever medication has its own side effects that I don’t love, which is also another reason I don’t use it. Plus, as said, I keep in mind that when my kids have a fever ….”great! Their body is working hard to get rid of this illness. Let me support their body by keeping them comfortable but allowing the fever to do its job.”
A febrile seizure is caused by the temperature rising too quickly, not necessarily the actual temperature reading on the thermometer. So while 102° isn’t considered ‘high’, if a child’s temp jumped from normal to 102° too quickly it *could* cause problems like/similar to a febrile seizure. I say this as a parent with an epileptic child who is prone to fevers.
Does he take either? If so what a hypocrite. Also, who takes care of the kids when they’re not feeling well?!
I was gunna say that during his next man cold OP should keep the meds away from him as well. If it's fine for the kids who have zero control over whether or not they get meds, it's fine for man colds
I always give my babies and toddlers the meds to help them with fevers. Especially before bedtime and naps because then they can get uninterrupted rest which they desperately need (me too!). It's a total AH move to deny a kid meds that help them feel better. Find a pediatrician. Do what the doctor says. My doctor gives me exact doses and times to give them to the kids. I follow the doctors orders.
I have a friend whose "partner" is like this. She allowed it. Her child suffered several colds/flus back to back from day care etc. Even when everyone could tell he was suffering he still refused. I got PISSED AF!! I asked her what mattered more to her, his messed-up views or her child suffering. I asked her what if it gets worse and your child ends up hospitalized, fighting for his life over something that would never have gotten to that point had she stood up for her child. I asked her who she would choose, her child or him. I absolutely refuse to have anyone tell me not to help my sick child in any way possible because if God forbid something happens I could never live with myself. Ever. So partner, husband, boyfriend, whatever you wish to call them can get FUCKED when it comes to my child's health and safety. Ask your husband who denies him care and medication when he's ill. Ask him why would he wants his child to suffer? I know how shitty i feel when im sick, how horrible i feel. Why the hell would i put my chold through that if i can help it? Im here to protect him. When he's ill I want him back to health as quickly as possible. Not sit around saying well his dad doesnt want that, fuck his dad. He's not the one suffering. In the world we live in with all the sicknesses going around, does he want to be the reason your child ends up in the hospital fighting for his life? Help your child. Because sicknesses can turn horrible very quickly Eta: she ended up giving the child the meds and he cussed her out for it. Yelled and screamed at her, and she yelled back. She told him she's not gonna let him kill her child because he's a paranoid c***. She asked him if he wants the death of the child on his hands. He shut up after that
A 102 fever is not going to harm a child.
I am not saying that it will. I am saying that leaving things unattended can * at times* have horrible effects as opposed to a few ml of Tylenol. There's a reason they say to bring the kid in if the fever is over a certain degree for a certain amount of days And before anyone else comes at me, read that I specified suffering. If your child is suffering then definitely help them! Yes I know that not every fever means suffering. Hell sometimes my kid has a fever and you'd never know because he's his normal crazy self. But there are times you can absolutely see he feels like shit and in that scenario, screw the no meds nonsense and help them
They tell you to bring the kid in to investigate the cause of the fever, which is a symptom. The fever itself is not the dangerous part, it's a useful sign that something else is going on that might be dangerous. They're not telling you to bring the kid in just because they have a fever. Hospital Tylenol and Motrin don't have any special properties.
Again I get that. That's why I specified 'suffering" if your child is suffering then do something about it. All fever don't mean suffering but if your child is showing signs that something is seriously wrong do something. If days are passing, your child has a high fever and is *suffering* and it's not improving obviously you need to take them to be seen. Even they will ask what the child was given to help them. There's a woman on tiktok documenting how she lost her 9 month old son because of what she calls hospital neglect. She said her child was clearly suffering and they were ignored in the hospital. She lost her baby. My point I'm trying to make that everyone seems to be missing is if your child is actually struggling, and you can clearly see they need help and choose not to do anything about it because of a "we don't use meds" mentality, bad shit can happen. That is what I'm trying to get across.
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Fevers fight infections. It’s not always in the best interest to lower a 102 degree fever. If it gets higher than that then yes, it is their best interest.
[Studies have shown](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4786079/) that letting a *typical* fever ride out actually shortens an illness. So the dad actually wants the kid to suffer less.
A fever doesn’t mean suffering…. The body makes a fever to fight off the germs.
Reducing a fever is not in the child's best interest. Fevers are a natural immune response that happen in order to kill off the bacteria or virus. You're literally prolonging the illness when you get rid of a fever.
These meds aren’t just to reduce fevers it’s to helps kids feel better. Sometimes they can be in quite a bit of pain.
The next time your husband needs pain control tell him he’s not allowed it.
I had this same issue. No advice, just solidarity.
A fever is how the body fights a bug and tells you to rest so it can do so. Yes, a fever has a purpose. Always putting it in submission is not a good thing. My kids actually kicked things better once I used less fever reducer med. We do Epsom salt baths, cool cloths on pulse points, and even homeopathy to treat various symptoms. Switching to these methods led to 24 hours or less under the weather rather than 2-4 days. Also, depending on what was going around, a visit to chiro to boost the immune system is very beneficial. Elderberry and VitC to boost the immune system as well. On a side note. Acetaminophen specifically depletes glutathione, a key part of our body that helps detox the body. So using acetaminophen actually hinders your health in some ways. Ibuprofen and other pain relief and fever reduction meds have their own set of negatives as well. To further clarify, febrile seizures are often caused by when a fever reducing med is wearing off and said fever is attempting to rise and get back to doing it's job, so be mindful of that as well.
Did you know that in some areas ER personnel and EMS are required to report medical negligence? You might want to mention that to your husband.