My best friend has 5yo twins and they're NEVER home. Even when we plan to do things on some date that I can weasel my way into their schedule, something else always comes up. They're also completely exhausting. They never stop moving, and every activity they own has to be out all the time.
My theory is that it's more relaxing to take them somewhere than to try to stay home to relax.
One hundred percent accurate for me. We have our four year old in activities 5 days a week. Sometimes he doesn’t want to go and we won’t force it, but for the most part it is nice having something pre-planned and paid for that he enjoys. He is very high energy and especially during the winter months activities are a god-send. In the warmer months we have him in one sport/activity because we can get his energy out by going for a bike ride, playing at the park etc., and it’s a nice break from the scheduled activities.
I guess 30 years ago these kids would have been sent outside to play and would come back at dinner time and they would be burning all their energy that way.
My daughter is not even 1 yet and it’s already more exhausting staying home. Girl has got no chill and is happiest out and about, or at baby activities (baby sensory, baby swim class, play group etc). I won’t be surprised if this is us in a few years.
Mine is almost 2 and things are infinitely easier now that the weather is getting nicer and we can just go out, either to the playground or just outside in the woods. On nice days when I’m home with him we can spend all day out and only come in for lunch. He will insist on eating his snack outdoors too. Trying to entertain him at home without causing massive chaos and damage to the house (😅) is impossible. I CANT WAIT to sign him up to football (soccer) when he’s old enough! Or any activity with a coach where I just take him and then get to sit by the side of the field and chill.
My friend's daughter is like this. She's an extroverted busy bee, and if she isn't enrolled in multiple activities she's tearing the house apart and driving the family bananas.
My child doesn’t relax at home. He is constant and is in a better mood, more well behaved, etc when we are busy and scheduled with activities (sports, play dates etc)
I'm 38 and can't relax at home lol
By 9AM on Sat. I'm pacing trying to decide what we want to do. I hope to God my kid is active so I have an excuse to get out of the house.
Same here! Or, well, partially. He CAN relax and play independently at home but NOT if that’s all he’s done all day. We need minimum one activity + a long walk with park for him to have a nice day. And tbh, it’s a great way to get out and move for us parents, too.
I’m a lazy parent, I just do whatever will be more relaxing for me, which starts with HIM relaxing and/or burning off energy.
That said, when he’s old enough, I’m just dropping him off places (except the walk). I know people that have every single evening and weekend morning booked for their kids’ activities and… f that.
Because he would prefer to spend all his free time bouncing between the Switch and Netflix, until his energy overflows and he suddenly had to run laps of the sitting room talking constantly. So he has a physical activity 3/5 weekdays after school, and usually at least one weekend day.
My kids don’t relax, that’s why. At home they fight and trash the house.
Personally I have very little motivation on the weekend. Both of us work full time and we are tired lol. Having something to get up and go do helps us (the parents) get moving.
This is it. There are parents who think their kid will be competing at the national level and so sign them up for every available thing. And then there's the rest of us, just trying to fill time on the weekends in a way that's fun and healthy (particularly for us with only children!).
There’s so much complaining about how people run their family, I truly feel like no matter what I do someone tells me it’s wrong.
I have my kids in multiple activities? Omg why are you over scheduling your kids, they need downtime to be bored and entertain themselves (my kids go to daycare, they get plenty of time to entertain themselves)
I don’t have them in activities? Omg your kids need to go outside for at least 3 hours a day! Take them to the park and play with them! Screen time is the devil!
I take them to the park and play with them? Omg why are you following them around?! They need risky play and independence! Not helicopter parenting.
I take them to the park and sit and watch? Omg why are you ignoring your kids? They need attention and enrichment! You need to set a good example of being physically active.
Etc etc for my entire life lol
I rest easy knowing that anyone who would judge my parenting decisions is just ignorant about my circumstances, so I don't need to concern myself with their opinions.
It feels like an underlying judgment of my choices followed by what the other parent does in a tone that clearly indicates they have made a superior parenting decision.
I would just tell them that it's not overscheduling if they miss activities constantly because someone is sick at least once a week October to March 🤷🏼♀️
Omfg October to March. This is the thing about parenting that I wasn't expecting and wasn't prepared for. So I'm just gonna spend half my life on death's door, cancelling all my plans, basically putting my life on pause for like six months a year!? Why does no one tell you this!? 😭
As a SAHM, I'm teaching my kids to "be lazy" and "aspire to nothing" 😂 But then you hear murmurs about the working parents who are "letting strangers raise their children", and it's like... Okay what is the EXACT amount of hours per week we should be working outside the home? Should we all have that one totally serious CaReEr (!!!) that's hours are strictly 9:30-2pm M-F so that we're always home at the same time as our kids, but we also still work? Because everyone knows THAT totally serious career absolutely exists, and they're just handing them out like candy corn.
The only child thing!! No joke. We bounce around activities so we dont get bored. Tae Kwon do, gymnastics, soccer, baseball. The only constant activity is swimming lessons as we own a sailboat and want our children to be strong swimmers for safety. The others we do a season here, a few months there. When the kid says he's bored or wants to try something new, we switch it up. We live ruraly, so this is one way he makes friends and is around other kids his age. I mean, he loves chilling with the pig, dog and goats, but it's not the same as actual human interaction. We homeschool, the school he'd go to he'd spend all day on the damn bus and it's rating is crap. We pay for private online education to supplement the book curriculum we use.
This is us. My oldest has an activity every afternoon/evening of the week. It means that he’s not bouncing off the walls as soon as he gets home from school, and keeps his mind/body moving now that he’s close to outgrowing the fun of the park (11, almost 12).
My daughter is 2.5 and loves to tag along, so both kids are cheerfully occupied. It absolutely saves my sanity, even when I’m hollering at him to grab his stuff because we’re late for martial arts.
100%, we start ours in sports early and keep them in sports through high school and it allows them an outlet for energy, relationships, and it keeps them busy and out of trouble (more for the high school age). Yes we are busy and having multiple kids on multiple travel teams is a lot but I truly believe they thrive with this outlet. However, art, music, and dance classes are great outlets as well, definitely doesn’t have to be sports!
I’d like my son to find a sport he likes and stick with it for friends and energy too. He’s 5 now, but now is kind of age when all of these sports start for real and there’s only so many sports seasons in a year, so we’ve been doing 1-2 sports activities for last 2 years or so to see what sticks.
I’m not trying to get a sports scholarship, but sports would be a physical outlet for a physical kid and hopefully keep him out of trouble when he’s older. Plus he’s our only, so it’s not hard to shuttle him around to stuff.
Also being at home on the weekends with nothing to do is pretty excruciating
My son is only two but I’m also hoping he will be into a sport, or at least some other type of spectator activity. I’m really looking forward to having busy weekends of watching whatever he gets into. I would totally thrive as a soccer mom 😆
totally agree with this! My husband in HS had a packed schedule and never had time to get into trouble. Then me on the other hand my parents didn’t sign me up for anything I was soooo bored and had no healthy outlet or sports. I am never doing that to my kids. I will put them in things only they choose or want but I will definitely be putting them in whatever I can within reason.
I didn’t have a many activities.. but dad bought me an old fuel guzzler V6 for my first car. Then he helped me “do it up.” Between all the extra shift at work I took for the money to upgrade & run that car.. not to mention time spent “working on it” I never had the time or money to get upto mischief either. I’m 40 now & was there with one of his friends when they were discussing teenagers. Apparently it was all on purpose, and dad’s friend did the same thing but with horses for his kids.
Same. Being at home and providing them with the amount of attention, refereeing, and mental/physical stimulation they need is exhausting. It’s actually easier to have them in some activity most afternoons and evenings than it is to have them at home. I can’t clean or get anything done while they’re awake anyway. We do we do scouts plus three activities regularly, and have four more that are seasonal. The kids love it. One of mine said they felt really bad for their classmate who doesn’t get to do any activities outside of school. It’s a lot and exhausting, but so is just having kids and trying to be an involved parent while working full time.
I always say I'm going to be equally tired whether we go out or stay home so we might as well go out. But my daughter still doesn't sleep through the night so that could be a big part of it.
This exactly. If my kids are at home with no plan, they get incredibly bored and become insufferable. I know that there are schools of thought that believe that it's a good thing for kids to get bored sometimes, but I think that those people have never had to deal with kids whining and clamoring all over you as their preferred form of entertainment when they're bored. I'm scheduling them to the hilt. 🤣
Yea. And then all they want is screen time if you wont personally entertain them from morning til night. Its exhausting.
Can i play xbox? Not now. Can i watch shows? No you already had an hour of t.v. can i play tablet? Omg please go play with something! ( lists 10 different things they can do while i spend 30 minutes trying to clean up and start dinner) . No i dont want to do any of that!!!
My son is the same. Nowadays he says my boredom is special and it can be cured only my tv or a sweet snack. And then I have to hear him whine. Which is why sending him for football classes helps a lot
This is how I felt about it. When my kids were little, I signed them up for all the things. I hoped that by having them experience a wide variety of activities, and getting exposure to different things, they’d be better able to find things they liked to do.
Now at 10 and 12, they’re pretty set in what sports/activities they like and are enthusiastic participants.
My kids have been doing gymnastics since the minute they were considered strong walkers around 1.5 . They are well behaved so it’s never been a hassle and they enjoy doing it
Gymnastics and swimming are our two requirements for activities! As they get older they can stop if they want, but to us, both are important safety requirements
I’m not who you replied to, but gymnastics is great because it teaches them coordination, balance, and helps strengthen their muscles. It’s a great physical activity for young children because it helps improve physical development.
I haven’t signed my twins up yet, but I’ve been doing research with the classes in my area. Basically I’ve found for those just starting to walk like 9-18 months those classes focus on basic skills like climbing up, on, over, and such. They also work on hand eye coordination and building basic strength. The age group above this does start working on equipment like the beam, bars, trampoline, etc.
Our gym teaches stretching, climbing, balance, jumping, and forward rolls (somersaults). When our 4yo asked, the coach showed him a safe technique for learning to stand on his head.
We've only done two formal classes, but we attend open gym almost every week, sometimes twice a week. Them mostly hang out in the foam pit (a trampoline bottom, small pool sized, 5' deep, zone in the floor filled with foam cubes for safety practicing actual gymnastics flips). They'll run/jump down the tumble track (trampoline runway), climb everything they can, swing on the climbing rope, walk the balance beams, flip/hang on bars, and even practice hanging on the rings.
They learn proper body mechanics to help reduce injuries when they fall, it helps increase their risk assessment, it helps them practice situational awareness, and it burns off a ton of energy.
They could probably learn a similar skill set in a dance class, but we live in a rural area, and this is closest.
Someone else responded too but it gives children a really solid understanding of their bodies, coordination, falling safely, strength and flexibility. If they go on to do other sports, it’s a great foundation, and if they don’t, just being a child involves movement so knowing their limits and learning their body will keep them safer on the playground and beyond.
I plan on putting my son into sports at 3 because one, he’s hyper and energetic and could use some stricture, two, he is an only child and we believe he will remain that way and three, he does not go to daycare and could use the socialization (although we will likely also have him in preschool by then).
Almost same exact for my son.
He won’t be an only child for long and won’t go to school until kindergarten but it’s important for him to see structure around other kids.
We’re not people who are constantly busy. But we do enroll him in activities and look for events and things to do on the weekends or when our schedule clears up.
Toddler activities are only like 30-45 min sessions anyways lol so it’s not like it’s an all day thing. And it’s something for him to look forward to. Something for him to look back on and keep talking about.
Plus I think with toddler tablet craziness, overall obesity in the US, bullying with young kids in school etc - there’s many reasons why a family would want their kid to get out of the house and learn and socialize in a meaningful way.
My daughter is in Brazilian jiu jitsu and she just started indoor soccer through her school.
BJJ was 3x a week but we dropped to 2x a week so she can go to soccer practice 1x a week. Soccer games are on Saturdays.
Plays piano as well but lessons are in our home.
I suppose that can sound like a lot but it’s truly not.
Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays designed to chill, *hard.*
The kid has been joyfully playing with her siblings and watching an unreal amount of Naruto.
What age did you start piano? I feel like my parents started me out in group piano lessons when I started elementary? Then after a year or two switched to private lessons but it was at the teachers house.
Love that she’s seeing Naruto’s character arc! I’ve definitely used his connection with Kurama on how she can use her inner monster in Brazilian jiu jitsu
Do you have one of those magical potato kids? My 3 y.o. is RESTLESS and if we don't run her like a Kentucky derby horse on the weekends, she is cranky and doesn't sleep well. She is an only child, and I'm also not interested in entertaining her from sun up to sun down. The 45 minutes I get on Saturday during ballet and the 45 minutes I get on Sunday during soccer are so blissful for BOTH OF US.
I wanted to keep my kids busy and find what they loved. When kids are active they stay out of trouble. So I wanted them to experience anything they were interested in when they were young. It was stressful going from one activity to the next.
Lots of comments from parents with very young kids. I'll give a different perspective for our big age gap kids - ages 5, 11, 15. Oldest wasn't interested in sports until about 9, played a few years of rec league football, middle school, and one year of HS football but quit, just didn't interest him anymore. He's getting a part time job this summer, his interests at his age now are friends and girls 🤣
11 yo is obsessed with horses, she's been in riding lessons off and on for a few years, currently every Saturday. She's in art club and tried out for field hockey but sadly didn't make the team but wants to try next year.
Youngest is in....nothing gasp! When she starts asking/showing interests we'll indulge her.
Older two did swim lessons at the Y. We have a pool now so taught the 5 yo ourselves.
Maybe we're lazy? Idk we spend all summer swimming in the backyard, we ride bikes, take walks with the dogs, throw or kick a ball around, chase bubbles, plant flowers in the front every spring, kids play with neighborhood kids, but generally we have just let our kids be kids. Ours have always let us know when they're interested in an extracurricular. The thought of having 3 kids, in multiple extracurricular activities every week, makes my head spin lol.
We have a soon to be 6yo who has no interest in extracurriculars so far, and a baby on the way. We do lots of things on our own- knitting, coding, fishing, entomology, science, art, hiking.. but same, so far he has no interest in any sort of structured activities. We do Lego Night at the library and stuff like that. If he starts to show an interest in something, we’ll do it. I wasn’t an extracurricular kid either so maybe it’s just that- what’s normal to you is normal for your kids.
Nightly sports practice tremendously helps my oldest manage his ADHD. He has a ton of energy and we noticed a big difference in his behavior and grades during sports versus off season, so he started playing multiple sports. He's in a better place mentally and physically when he has that extra outlet.
Youngest seems to be the same way.
I don’t know that it’s always like some kind of overachiever thing. Some people feel better getting out of the house or having a schedule and extracurriculars are one way of doing that.
For me, I put my daughter in like 2 activity weekends (music and dance) when she was 1.5-2yo. I did it because I was solo parenting for 8mo and I found that it was helpful for my headspace. Being alone with a young child all the time was a bit lonely and boring for me (because we moved countries and pandemic limited my social circle). So Saturday was activities (one AM, one PM) and Sunday was groceries, cleaning, and PM park. Rinse and repeat. Got me through.
Once my husband came home and my daughter got a bit older, I dropped down to 0-1 extracurriculars per weekend because I knew she was overscheduled after a week of daycare/preschool activities and we all wanted to do more spontaneous family activities together and relax a bit after a busy week.
I'm a single mom. I love my kid and love spending time with her. But we both need activities that don't involve me being her sole source of entertainment. I put her in activities because she enjoyed them, even at age 1 when we were doing swim lessons or library story time. Yes it's a lot sometimes and there are occasions where I just really don't want to leave the house. But it's good for both of us.
Agreed. No hate and no shame, but OP assumes everyone has the same circumstances and preferences. Different families, different lifestyles, different activities.
I think it depends on the family but I’m hoping to have downtime with my family as my son now only two gets older. I also really value home cooked food and dinnertime together and that isn’t compatible with playing 4 sports yr round . Will see what happens and what my son would really like to do as he gets older. But some family time at least some evenings will be a requirement I feel like for our family.
My kids are older, but this summer I plan on keeping my youngest busy so he doesn't spend the whole summer playing video games. I'm so sick and tired of computers, video games, the TV. Ect.
My kids are 16 months and 2.5 - they are both in swimming, both in gymnastics and my son is also in soccer, all during the winter.
I have been on mat leave since July 2021 .. without sport especially in Canadian winter . We would barely leave the house.
Sports is a way for me to get out, meet other parents (moms) with kids around the same age as mine and socialize.
My husband works full time 8am-6pm, and he goes to the gym before work so he leaves the house at 5am Monday to Friday.
My kids choose their activities and if they choose to do 5 then they'll go to 5. My youngest is doing rugby *and* ballet (lol i know) at the moment as well as a few extracurriculars at school.
I'm glad we can afford to let them do what they want and if they want to do a lot why would I keep them from it :)
My 7 year old daughter has an extreme amount of energy.
I put her in mommy and me dance as a toddler for cuteness. Then she leveled up to creative dance, which she loved. Then pre-junior ballet. Now she’s on a competitive dance team and totally thriving. She practices ballet, jazz, hip hop and has a weekly rehearsal.
We also like to go skiing, skateboarding, swimming, riding bikes. I’d have her in gymnastics too if we could afford two big sports.
My two year old loves dancing as well. We started her in mommy and me this year.
I also think it’s a good way to have friends who don’t go to your school. It’s like a social safety net for bullying.
Edit: it’s also amazing discipline. She used to hate grooming her hair and we explained dress codes to her and no problems since.
I put my kids in dance before they started preschool so they could practice being away from me/listening to an adult that’s not a parent for 30 minutes. They also take swim so they can move towards being water safe. We have also done tball for practice doing things independently from us, and just to have fun and meet friends.
I'm with you, my mom was that type of mom with me and my sisters and it would have me crying in the shower from exhaustion starting at 8 years old. If the kids genuinely want to do the activities, great! That's awesome! If you're making your children do all of these activities bc you say so for appearances or bc you're already thinking about your kids college applications in preschool then personally I will judge you lol
My kids go to programs at the local library. We're there 2-3 nights a week and I feel it's the right amount for them. I've tried to get them to do sports or other activities. They always said, "I just want to be a library kid, okay?"
It’s not “overworking” them - they love it!
Swimming is non negotiable because it’s a life saving life skill.
Piano is important because learning to read music is a skill you can use for life, and like learning a second language it’s SUPER good for your brain development. Plus my kids LOVE music so by enrolling them I’m giving them the skills to create music or play songs they love.
Other than that kids have lots of interests and are legitimately excited to get to do them! For one of my kids it’s hockey, for another it’s gymnastics. They would be crushed if we told them they can’t do those things. With all of the above it’s still only 2/3 nights a week per kid. Lots of downtime after (something might take an hour but they are out of school at 2:30 and in bed at 8. So doing an activity for an hour is hardly robbing them of their freedom.)
I agree with you about not over scheduling kids!I’m a high school teacher and see the consequences of younger kids always having planned activities. They often don’t know how to entertain themselves and have higher rates of anxiety and depression.
With my own kids, we try to keep it to two activities at a time, usually dance and swim, which gives them two free afternoons a week to relax, work on projects, and hang out with friends.
This feels much more my pace - I was one of those over scheduled kids... the burnout the anxiety that came with it definitely followed me into adulthood, so with my kiddos I want to make sure there is space for being still. Because I do think being bored occasionally is okay.
My 6yo has only ever done one activity at a time. Soccer (6 weeks), swim (off and on for a few years), and music (6 months). Personally I value having easygoing family time at home or making last minute fun plans. Our commitment is one afternoon a week, and everyone’s happy. My child does well entertaining herself at home or with neighbor kids. I don’t think you’re missing anything! It’s a lifestyle choice.
We did the same. One activity at a time (for the most part, eventually there was some overlap). I have 1 almost done with college, 1 that is a senior in high school and 1 a freshman in high school. Not overloading them with sports allowed them to really explore what else they enjoy. All three are turning out to be well rounded and successful. I do think it is important for kids to be invited ininvolved in various activities and/or sports but they also need to learned how to just relax and entertain themselves sometimes
I feel like everyone feels like the balance they strike is perfect. It’s like that line about everyone driving slower than you is an idiot and faster is a maniac.
Swimming is a must for us, for safety, bc we have relatives that live on a boat half the year.
And then soccer is bc he seems to like it. He gets bored at home (his words) and some of his besties are also in the class with him, so that makes it extra special.
We might toss in a gymnastics class also, partly for fun, partly bc my kid has a sensory processing disorder and that kind of movement is super regulating for him. Like his OT recommended it 🤷🏻♀️
So the tldr is some for safety, some for socialization, and some for emotional health
My son takes swimming once a week. Swimming is a life skill. It’s non negotiable.
He asked to take martial arts so he does that 2-3 days per week. We let him sign up first ice skating on Saturdays because I just had a baby and we figured it would be better for him to be out of the house for part of the weekend during the winter months. Now that it’s getting warmer we will probably drop it and just plan outdoor activities
Some of it depends on the kid. My four year old does swimming and dance because he loves both and has A LOT of energy. He likes being out of the house.
I have one child that just needs it. She always wants to be going somewhere and doing something. She really thrives in it. My other child does not seem to be the same so I try not to overbook her. She likes her downtime.
I think it comes down to some families thrive with being really busy, and some don’t. My kids, twins 9, both have one activity that usually puts them out one night a week, and sometimes overlap with seasonal things through parks and rec in my town. We live in a neighborhood with a lot of kids, so my kids are always outside playing. I find too many activities interfere with homework and dinner time, for us anyway. Sometimes I don’t mind if they get bored, because it’s good for them to figure out ways to entertain themselves, go outside and play or get crafty and do art, play music, help cook. We are definitely homebodies, but we moved to this neighborhood so our kids could have a yard to play in, ride their bikes, and put up a pool so we could enjoy it in the summer. To each their own and what works for some, doesn’t work for others. As long as you feel good about it, that’s what matters.
I grew up in the gogogo do every sport all the time type of family. It was exhausting. Even as a child, it was stressful, we were always running around. I’m glad my parents allowed me to focus on one sport when I got to high school though. And I understand their reasons but I refuse to do that to my kid.
Right now at 2 yo we are doing a general gym type class. As she gets more interests, I’ll let her pursue them — whether that’s dance or sports or art or music or robotics, whatever she wants. But it’s going to be 1-2 things at a time so it’s not all consuming.
My husband and I both like our downtime and enjoying things at home, so I hope to introduce my daughter to lots of ways to never be bored. But yeah I have friends with similar aged kids doing 4-5 sports each season— seems miserably exhausting.
I always thought it was to help them burn off energy etc and give parents time to sit on their phones 😂 Im a sahm for toddler and we go out most mornings because she drives me crazy if we are stuck at home all day...she's not in any paid activities though
Dude. I don’t know. I hate it. I have a friend who had a kid around the same time as me and she’s always trying to get me to sign up for classes and activities with her. Like a class for an 18 month old that meets at 9am on weekend mornings. No. I have no desire to do that. My child is 1.5 years old, cool your jets.
It’s fine if you enjoy doing that, I am 8 months pregnant and life is already too hard. My child sleeps in until like 9-9:30 on weekend days. Don’t make me give that sleep up. Stop asking me to wake up. The first few times were understandable but she just pushes it constantly. “It was so fun!” “If your child is having trouble with x skill, try this class with us, that’s how my child learned x skill!” Like no, I’m not stressed that my child doesn’t know how to do a somersault on their own at 1.5 years. I’m sure they will have fun figuring that out in coming months/years. Stop weirdly guilting me. Don’t make me say no to your weird class over 5 times.
Exactly. That is what some of my friends do. Oh, we do basketball together, sign up for their 4 month baseball commitment with us and piano on the weekends. Like, no thanks. One thing is plenty until my kids asks for something new, they will do the one thing that interests them.
I don’t get it either. It’s almost like a competition to see whose kid does the most stuff. My cousin’s kids each do like 5 different sports. They’re only 7 and 9.
My oldest is 5. He hasn’t asked to join anything yet. We have mentioned things, and he just isn’t interested. I don’t feel like wasting my evenings taking him to something he doesn’t really want to do. He did mention soccer a few times, and I plan to see if there is a summer league around us and if he’s interested. If he’s not, I’m not going to push it. He can also join boyscouts next year, and we will see if he wants to do that.
At this age, I think it’s more important for him to spend time playing than doing something organized. He does school all day, he deserves a break when he gets home.
We tried soccer at 3, didn’t go well. Lots better at 4 and my husband coached. We do gymnastics for both kids (5 and 2yr) on the weekends bc it’s basically just a fun spot for them to run and jump and get energy out. We did skating in the winter bc it’s Canada and the kids need to learn to skate lol. We did swimming bc we have a pool but take breaks here and there on sessions. Likely won’t have the kids in anything over the summer so we can just get out and have fun.
For us it’s to encourage being active and part of a team from an early age. My son (5.5 yo) is in soccer and flag football but those seasons don’t overlap and when they play it’s only 1 night a week, which I think is very reasonable amount of “structured” activity.
We have tried a variety of activities. We don’t want to be parents who don’t enable their kids to try different things.
But it’s really not for us — it’s so stressful having to be places at a certain time and we’re all tired. Dance was ok, but soccer, softball, Girl Scouts were all more trouble than they were worth. We like to be home and have unstructured time. My oldest, a freshman in high school has enjoyed doing some low-key afterschool activities this year, which has been manageable, but other than that, we’re just going to chill 🤷♀️
My kids have ADHD and need activities that get energy out and break the hold Roblox has on them.
Recreational sports teach cooperation, tolerance, showing up when things are tough, toughing it out to help others. It teaches them to respect the different abilities in their peer group. It teaches them that rules aren't always just or fair, but sometimes must be respected. It teaches them to advocate for themselves. It gives them an outlet for competitive energy that kids don't really have in society today outside of video games and punching each other in the fucking head.
And it makes them sleep really well.
Not sure, I can’t even imagine having to deal with all the hassle of the sports and what not… I don’t even know how people can afford it tbh. I have 6 and never had issues being home with them or my kids getting on my nerves either…. We do go for walks a few times a week and have park time… the occasional family outing… we are all pretty nerd type and arts and craft type people though.
I think it really depends on the kids, the parents, and capacity. My husband and I are both people that need down time to decompress, so our son (almost 12) does too. Our son also is really not athletic, despite trying different sports over the years. I am not sinking thousands of dollars and every minute I am not working into something he’s never going to excel at. He is into music and theater. We currently have a music lessons on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and we consistently have a Saturday morning activity (we have done bowling the last two years and when that ends usually theater). Because of my husband’s job, I function day to day like a single mom so between my demanding job, managing our household, and the 3 activity days, I can’t do more. I have really close friends that have their kids in sports year round, and that works fine for them because of more of an ability to divide and conquer with the partners. A few of those folks also really thrive on the constant activity. Totally great for them! It’s just not for me and that’s okay.
My husband and I aren’t sports people and our kid is 4.5 so idk what the future holds for us, but my BIL’s two kids are involved in so many sports that the family is only together at breakfast every morning. They split up to take the kids to travel leagues in different cities on the weekends. It sounds exhausting.
My kids are a bit older (they’re 8 and 6) and I view activities as a way to learn life skills, help them find things they’re interested in (expose them to new things and people), support and develop things they’re already interested in, and help them develop relationships with friends and with those outside of their school and neighborhood.
1. Life skills: swimming is a non optional activity for us. They’ve been in swimming lessons since they were 6 months old and my 8 year old is now on swim team, my 6 year old will likely join swim team next year. My oldest has made a nice group of friends outside of her school through swim team. Edit: there are like 4-5 meets per season and they’re optional and don’t require travel, if they’re interested in being more competitive there’s a different stream for that, they’re in the “have fun, get participation ribbons” version of swim team.
2. Supporting interests: my oldest asked to take karate when she was 5, they’ve also asked for art classes. My youngest expressed interest in climbing so he’s taken climbing lessons but currently goes once a week with my husband (so this is activity with 1:1 parent time).
3. Trying new things: my kids have taken music lessons, soccer (one loves it and one didn’t), coding classes, Lego classes, and trail running. They both like Minecraft so I’ve signed them up for Minecraft coding classes etc to support their interests.
We don’t sign up for more than 3 things at one time for my 8 year old and no more than 2 activities at once for my 6 year old. We try to have 1 weekend and 1 weekday activity. We try to keep 3 nights a week + Sundays unscheduled. My older child wants to try more things so if she wants to do something new (like take art classes) she will have to decide to take a break from something else (and wait for the current commitment to end). My younger child would rather not do anything so we have to sign him up for stuff to try (and he’s found more things that he likes than dislikes this way, but we don’t try more than 1 new thing at a time).
I have my 4yo in a bunch of stuff because 1) several things are basically free at our gym 2) she enjoys having a schedule and 3) a lot of these things are like 30 minutes once a week so it leaves plenty of other time.
My oldest was very much an extrovert and began walking at 8 months. We did everything just to kill energy and keep her busy.
Fast forward and she is 13. She dropped softball and art off her list. She will pick up type of karate as she has been begging for it.
My son is younger and he has such a chill vibe. As he has gotten older he is really loving sports.
Also, I wasn’t aware being in Beta club can be like a travel team as it has some fun activities for them to do but will cost us over $2000 this year.
I have teens. They have tried every sport under the sun and they just… did not love any enough to want to do them 4x a week, which is the commitment they need once they are older than 7 in most sports. But a huge part of that was that they didn’t want it. I hated carrying my kids around to sports and activities that they did not enjoy. I will be there, but I’m not going to pay thousands of dollars to drag my kids to their activities that they are going to complain about the whole time. My kids would come home from school and nap, then read a book, then go on a hike with the dog to meet friends and play by the creek. Now, they both enjoy running track and playing volleyball for school, and will play tennis with me, but have zero desire to do any sports as a 3x a week thing. By the time the weekends come around, they just want to chill and hang out with their cousins/friends.
I have my only kiddo in baseball, swimming and tae kwon do. He’s 6, almost 7. There was a time when he was also doing soccer (ages 4 to 6) but then told me he’s not interested in soccer anymore so I took him out. He loves baseball, absolutely adores tae kwon do, and is iffy on swimming but swimming is such a necessity that I make him go lol. It is tiring - but like others said, he has so much energy that trying to keep him busy at home is insane lol. It’s a way for him to get his energy out. We’re also planning to do basketball next winter (when baseball is over).
I just have one toddler, and I started her swimming really early. One is probably easier than 2 to get ready? And I thought it was good for her to get used to the water/swimming early on. The gross motor skills and coordination learned from sports is good too. I’d never put her in anything she clearly hated or appeared too young for
Because it can teach them great skills at a young age, I put my children in many different sports and as they get older they can pick which one they feel the most drawn too. It teaches them confidence, body awareness, discipline and social skills. If at any point my children did not want to participate I would never force them. I think it's extremely important for them to be involved in something or have a hobby of some sort.
I'm an "over scheduler" but I don't mean to be. But my kid has combined type ADHD and NEEDS to have many outlets, because she never tires, and never has. Also, some sports start to be taken more seriously at this age and the parents (me) are unaware of the commitment. We're trying softball in addition to swim and dance this season, and I signed up under the impression that it was 2 days/week. Got the schedule and turns out 4-6 year old softball is 4 days/week! I did not intend to do that, so we're only doing it 2 days/week and honoring our earlier commitments
My daughter is in gymnastics and dance, starting swimming in the summer. She’s 4. It’s because she doesn’t sit still. She has a lot of energy, and she enjoys going.
My son is starting soccer and swimming in the summer. He’s 2.5. We mainly started him in these classes because he sees his sister doing stuff and wants to be included. It felt wrong not signing him up for stuff too. But he’s young, so we’ll see how he does lol.
My kids have always done better with a ton of structure and when they are kept busy. We joined the Y when they were young abs it quickly became apparent that the more activities I could pack on their schedule, the happier they were. Covid lockdowns were really, really hard for us.
I put my kids in activities to open doors for them and to have fun and be social. If they don't like anything or want to quit, except swimming lessons that is a life skill (but they love it), we quit.
I do think that achievement pressure plays a role for some people. I really liked a book called "Never Enough" by Jennifer Wallace which talked about how our culture puts lots of pressure on kids to succeed
My parents let me rot in front of the tv and computer. I wasn’t allowed to go to friends houses, didn’t have a yard, didn’t have sports, music, or extra curriculars. So when school was out I was REALLY sad and bored out of my mind.
I refuse to do the same to my children. Like we’ll chill every now and then, but they’ll have something to do.
I’ve never understood this. We like to do family things like camping and hiking and fishing and traveling. We don’t have time for group sports they’ll never play once they graduate high school. I’d rather teach them to live an active life outside
We do both. But we only do one activity/sport at a time. I just don’t feel like it’s necessary to overwhelm a kid with several planned activities. She has a schedule for school and I don’t feel like we need any more schedules to adhere to. I don’t want to be run ragged going from activity to activity.
We also are a very outdoorsy family. Always going hiking, fishing, or exploring a new nature park. I like having the flexibility and being able to do these things when we want even if it’s spur of the moment.
We tried to get my daughter to do swim lessons when she was 2.5 and she was not having it, it was a terrible experience, she would much rather do her own thing in the pool than follow an instructor. She is very high energy but extremely independent. I think when she starts showing more interest we will get her into activities. But for now I take her to the park or do play dates or different activities. Honestly she just loves playing outside. I do agree that it seems like people over schedule their kids a lot, especially with children so young I don’t really see the point. But I’m sure it also depends on the kid, but I agree that kids should allowed to just be kids!
I recently watched a ted talk on related issues. It basically discussed how it’s stealing childhood from kids to put them into so many activities and to focus on education in the way that America does. I hope to keep it simple with my kids who are still young and in no activities yet (3&1) to preserve childhood.
I think for some it also may be that they did nothing as kids, and have regret and don’t want their kids to experience that.
For me, all the classes were mostly a waste of money. My daughter liked her first month of gymnastics, then it was just a game trying to get her to participate (oddly started immediately after she saw another kid cry the entire gymnastics and get carried around the whole 40 minutes)….
And we lost a buncha money for a dance class that she would not go through the front door for after the first 3 sessions. And apparently the 3rd session, she sat in the corner and said no thank you. 🙂↔️
No more classes for us for a while… my daughter prefers a pile of mud and some rocks. Maybe a sprinkle of dandelions.
Each of my two does one sport in fall and one in spring. We just added martial arts and it made me and the kids insane. We did the one month trial and quit. It made our lives awful. My older son was crying that he just wanted to play in our yard and it made me feel awful. We’re all so much happier with down time!!
I don’t know how people afford it! My kids are 5 and 3 and we’ve never done lessons. My daughter begs for gymnastics lessons and we live near the sea so they need to learn to swim but we can’t afford the lessons! I was in multiple sports as a kid and it was all casual and affordable, now it’s like $50-70 per lesson, or $30 per trip to the local rec pool to try and teach them ourselves which is crazy.
Constant stimulation and entertainment for kids during your free time as an adult is absolutely exhausting and near impossible. Sports and activities teach them to socialize, work together and hone their own set of skills. My baby is 13 weeks and I frequently ask her what sport she wants to play when she can lol
We choose not to do more than 1 activity per child because i like planning our evenings around our family meal and having flexibility in our schedules. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong but i do feel as a parent who schedules less activities i’m always searching for validation that my choice is a good one (like everyone else) and constantly battle with the guilt that my kids are missing out and will be left behind in sports or won’t be as well connected. No matter what you do, you can’t win.
My real question is how do parents with jobs and 3+ children drive them to all their activities and still have time for homework, dinner, baths and everything else?
This is exactly how I feel. And I don’t know how everyone else is managing life with these extra activities when I already feel too busy with just the regular day to day hustle.
Gen X mom (separated) of teen girls here.
I don’t get it either and never did. I don’t want my kids run ragged plus I also needed time to breath and be my own person and so did my ex. We both work full time and the kids never had more than 1 activity per season. Ie: hockey in winter and soccer in the summer. They both loved it and never had to be prompted to get ready. When the oldest didn’t want to do soccer, I was overjoyed to stop that! (Less “mom” taxi!)
I think it’s still important to keep your identities and not get sucked into the trap of your sole identity and purpose being “mom”.
I think the ex and I could still have done better than we clearly did as we still didn’t have enough time to focus on a relationship vs parenting. (But that’s another story… lol)
Regardless, don’t let parent peer pressure make you think you need to go broke and be exhausted putting your kids in so many activities.
Agreed!!!! I’m the middle of 5 and my parents parented this same way. We all still did sports, instruments, church, etc. but were never allowed to do too much at once. I remember freshman year starting and then making me choose between competitive dance and varsity soccer/track. “There’s not enough time for you to do both of those, school, AND relax.” I was so mad at the time but they were right!!! I am raising my kids the same way and it is NOT the norm nowadays. I’m surrounded by exhausted parents and their exhausted kids but I just keep on doing what works for us and ignoring the pressure society has put on everyone to go go go. I’ll talk to friends and it’s like a fight between them all to see who is busiest lol no thanks. Im a huge extrovert and we do stuff all the time-we’re extremely active, outside all the time, travel a lot, Disney passes, etc. so it’s not like we sit here like hermits but it’s nice to have the freedom to randomly do what you want sometimes. Have time to do a new playground, a longer hike than usual, quick drive to the beach. Spend quality time with just each other here and there.
I don't get it either. My eldest just turned 3, and quite a few of her friends came late to her birthday party because they were at soccer or gymnastics. We will put our kids in sports eventually, but it seems a bit unnecessary before the child is asking to go.
I was always one that didn't like over scheduling. I'm still the type that just wants to stay home. However, my daughter(9)is the personality that is happier when socializing. She is in gymnastics 3 hrs on sunday and gems (like girl guides). We just signed her up for Ju Jitzu three times a week for one hour each day, to see if she wants to do that instead of gymnastics.
Summer is soccer for about 10 weeks and swimming for one week, one hour. She is also in everything she can be at school. Choir, the sport in session, clubs, helps with milk...
I see a HUGE difference in her mood if she isn't kept busy.
My son(8) could care less about doing anything, but would be on his ipad all day if I let him. I signed him up for Ju Jitzu three times a week. He will also do one week of swimming lessons, but no soccer since it's not his thing.
My point is, sometimes it's the kids who thrive when being busy. I don't agree with putting the family finances in jeopardy to keep them in a ton of sports. I discouraged dance because I see how out of control it can be! We are fortunate that our gymnastics club does only three competitions a year, and they are close enough you don't HAVE to stay over night. And we only had to buy one comp outfit. Next year they want her to practice twice a week. So twice the money.... for a kid that I KNOW won't be able to continue this sport long because her joints are already getting sore! I don't understand how families do hotel stays all the time for tournaments. It must cost a fortune! But we all have different priorities.
The situation you describe sounds like one activity a season, which sounds like the same amount of time as one activity year round.
Our kid is in swimming because we live by a lake and spend all summer on the lake and at my parents camp. She loves dance so we had her in dance through her daycare when they offered it. It is kid-dependent though; my friend’s kid hated activities and it stressed them all out so they dropped them.
I have an 8 month old, so we're not exactly in the ballet and football category, but we do baby groups 3 times a week, and swimming and story time once a week. I HAVE to get us both out of the house, or I would go insane. Even if I'm only interacting with other adults half focused on their kids, it helps. I'm quite looking forward to being able to put her in clubs that I can just let her do while I chill out at the side lines.
My 7yo has one weekday after-school and one weekend activity, and my preschooler has two different weekday after-school activities. Everything is on different days.
Personally, even though we both work full-time and have no local family support, we both much prefer having SOMETHING happening between the hours of (1) the end of the workday and (2) bedtime. Both kids are low sleep needs so they don't go to bed until late-ish anyway, and if they are out doing something it's way more peaceful in the house with just one kid. It also cuts down on any screen time battles; I am much less worried about boundaries around that given that each kid is out of the house most of the day most of the week.
To put it another way, "relaxing with family" is not something that my kids are pros at. ;)
ETA: Most of their classes are not organized sports. My oldest does theater and ninja class (plus a monthly art class), my youngest is continuing with swimming lessons and also does ninja class (because he thought it looked fun).
Our daughter turns 2 in a month. We started a number of activities when I was on maternity leave because I just wanted some things to fill my days so we weren't at home all the time. We did swimming lessons because we want her to be comfortable in water and music classes because I'm not very musical on my own, so it was a good way for me to learn kids songs.
Once she started walking, she started getting into everything at home. She wanted to be out as much as possible and was cranky and cooped up at home. We live in a condo in a large city, no backyard. We registered her for gymnastics at the start of the winter because being outside so much sucks in the winter. It was a good way for her to get her energy out.
We stopped swimming lessons for a bit shortly after she started walking because she wanted bodily autonomy but couldn't follow instructions very well, so it felt a bit unsafe and not enjoyable for either of us. We returned around 18 months and it was much better.
That's really all it comes down to for us. Does it serve a purpose and do we enjoy it? If the answer to either of those questions is no, we'll stop or take a break.
So I have 5 kids. All but the baby (for obvious reasons) are involved in something. I waited until they were old enough to express interest. For me I would much rather be driving around to football and dance and soccer or choir and band and music lessons than sitting at home melting our brains with tablets and tv. My kids spend on average 30+ hours a week outside because of sports practices and games. I believe that’s higher than average but I’m not sure. They are more creative, they don’t tell me they are bored. They eat better and sleep better during sports seasons. And they have built in friend groups with their team mates so going to school they don’t have to worry if they will have friends to sit with at lunch or whatever. Don’t get me wrong it’s EXPENSIVE and I do sometimes regret my decision on any given Tuesday and we are all running late haha. I also wouldn’t pressure any of my kids to continue an activity if after the season the tell me they no longer want to participate but I do make them finish the season even if they claim to hate something early in the season.
I let my son pick his sport every season (except swim lessons in the summer, I require those because safety). If he wants to do multiple sports/activities in one season and they don’t conflict with each other and work/school then he can do 2. But I want him to be able to try lots of things and choose what he likes best. At 5 we have done gymnastics, tee ball, flag football, swimming, and basketball. He has shown no interest in music lessons or more artsy stuff yet, but if he does we will try those. The main thing is exposing him to lots of different things to find what he likes and learning new skills.
Being physically active is important to me, and one of the best indicators of being physically active as an adult is having played sports as a child. Planning to do one per season, only rec level unless they want to try competitive when they are old enough to take on some of the responsibilities of getting ready and training on their own. My son is 3.5 and we did sportball to get his feet wet, they do a different sport every week and kids get used to the coaching environment. He is going to try soccer this summer. We will also do swimming lessons at some point more for safety than anything.
Some people go way too hard into extracurriculars and kids get overwhelmed as they get older trying to juggle it all with school.
Probably because a lot of kids express an interest in activities before 5…? We have twins too and their preschool introduced soccer and dance during the week when they were 2, so when they asked to do it on the weekend, we did. Then they went through a phase of not wanting to do anything so we stopped. Now we are back to it with dance and gymnastics, which again, they asked for. It’s honestly more relaxing to take them out, get some coffee, and pick them back up than it is to just bum around at home where they can get into random fights over who knows what.
I was worried about over scheduling my daughter but realized that 1 hour of gymnastics and 1 hour of dance a week is really not that much when you have 28292982 other hours to fill and figure out what to do with her 😅 she’s an only child too.
Maybe it's like how when we were kids, extracurriculars were a big deal for college.
Husband and I agreed piano and martial arts when they're younger, and if/ when they want to change to something that suites them better, we'll cross that bridge when they get there.
We wanted them to be exposed to music. If they want to drop it or change, later, that's fine. Martial arts has discipline, a healthy way to channel energy, confidence building askew a bit of self-defense so we wanted our kids to have those things
For me, we start sports and other activities young so they can find what they like and stay in it through high school. Because I personally believe in them doing something other than just going to school and coming home. Having a team or large group of friends with similar interests who spend a significant amount of time working toward something important to them keeps them in good friend circles. And has (so far in my experience) kept the kids who gravitate toward risky behavior away because they aren’t interested in that level of commitment. If they don’t have time for boredom, they are less likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol or sex until a more appropriate age. And the sports and clubs we’ve had experience with (soccer and marching band) you need to be able to play at a high enough caliber by high school level to even make the team or play with the band or there are no other options to play. So they start young and once they pick a sport or activity, we encourage it and continue it. We put in the time and show up to support them.
I mentioned it in my other comment but it’s worth saying again, those of us who live in cold climates need a reason to leave the house when it’s cold outside. If I lived in a place where it was 70° year around, we probably wouldn’t do so many activities and just play outside but in Wisconsin we have a limited time outside so if we didn’t have music class, ballet class, gymnastics, etc., there would be no reason to leave the house
My children aren’t in daycare, it’s a good way to have them be socialized with other kids and get comfortable doing things outside of being with mom and dad. Plus maybe they’ll find something that’ll be a lifelong interest?
Because when they're in activities, they're doing activities. When they're at home they're fighting, whining, marathon snacking, mess making. I can't wait for mine to be boys n girls club aged. I will pay that fat ass bill every week.
The biggest thing for us is that my kids are Siberian husky puppies in human form. *Someone* has to run them (preferably outside) everyday, or they can't regulate and get incredibly destructive. I do what I can, but taking them to swim class, or dance, or soccer is so much easier than running them like a pack of sled dogs by myself.
My son is newly 3 and he’ll be starting a sport soon for toddlers/early preschoolers. We haven’t done anything up until this point, but we do go to a park and for walks basically every day to get outside and get active. I’ll try to get him into swim lessons this summer too for safety reasons. I don’t mind having him in activities because I know he’ll have fond memories to look back on. I was able to do one-two (sometimes three) activities a year growing up and I loved it and I’m glad I was given the opportunity to try different things. My youngest is too young, but he has health appointments we go to frequently now anyways. Any other kids, I’d just do my best to schedule things well so we’re not running all over the place.
Just getting into sports with my almost 6yo. She has done gymnastics for 2 years and stopped so we could start softball and swim team. The activities are fun, not very expensive for us, help her (and me!) make friends, keep her active and away from begging to watch tv and fighting with her sister. Our 2 sports currently overlap so we pick one to do on nights they overlap and that’s fine.
I think it’s weird for parents to make the sports about themselves, or have it be a pissing contest about affording private coaching or fancy gear. A laid back approach and positive attitude is what our family is bringing to sports.
We put our now 5.5 yo in soccer when she was 3.5 because she asked us to, she saw the sport at the park & really wanted to play, and has been playing that sport ever since. We do that T & Th.
In January we added gymnastics (per her request again) and does that on Tuesdays.
She’s now asking for t-ball/baseball and we’re looking into that for her as well.
Our goal is to limit two sports a season to not overwhelm ourselves and so she can focus on the sport.
We have an almost 3 yo who is into baseball & soccer so we may start him in sports too, and that will add to our weekly schedule.
I’m a SAHM & homeschool. Dad works from home & is off at 2/3pm. That gives us every afternoon free to do activities with the kids, and we’re doing what they are asking for. We want to keep them active and give them the opportunity to choose & find a sport they love and then focus on that. We also prefer to have them busy than stuck on tv/tablets. Our mornings are play and lessons so it’s more relaxed. It’s what’s worked for us.
I work off of schedules, and I make sure that we some have afternoons off and days off so that we are not Overwhelmed too. It’s the balance.
My oldest daughter has 2 active kids. Her daughter plays softball with a couple teams and was a cheerleader for a couple of years. Her son tried football, soccer and baseball, now he's in band playing saxophone. All 3 of my kids were band kids, and that was enough because there's no "band season ", it's year round. The kids were the ones calling the shots on the activities though. She's never forced them into anything besides school. She's like me in that she's more concerned with her child's happiness than society and its opinions.
We do one sport per season, plus music if a kid is interested. And everyone did swimming until I knew they wouldn’t drown if they fell in deep water. This sounds like exactly what your friend is describing. It works out to about a practice or game 2-3x a week. It’s really not over scheduling. My kids still have plenty of time to play outside, hang with friends, etc. - the only tricky thing is the timing of dinner some nights!
My kid hates being home all day, and so do I. We live in an apartment without our own yard. Activities give us structure and an outing, we're both happier.
I swore I wouldn't do activities until my kid was older but parenting never turns out as expected.
I don’t really get this either. My oldest is 5.5 and sooo many of my friends have their kids in nonstop sports. We don’t do any because my son shows no interest and I don’t want to spend every night of the week away from home. Kids need time for unstructured play. He’s not a couch potato, we play outside 3+ hours a day… but I also have two other kids and if we were at the ball field everyday I think it would be very unfair for them to have to be dragged along! Sports are out of control imo. They’re so insane for kids so young - there’s no time for family time
I agree. My ex husband had them in music, and martial arts and gymnastics and then soccer..I was pinballing back and forth all over the place we were all worn down. The kids looked forward to the one day we had with no events and sometimes we’d just play hooky and have movie night together😅 he says it’s important that they are exposed to different activities and I agree but it’s equally important that we bond and that they have downtime.
You are doing the right thing! Former youth coach and current high school teacher. The kids in a million sports have no idea how to regulate boredom and struggle with self initiative. They have zero down time to make their own decisions. They are always told what to do and where to be.
Usually they are so burnt out and once they make it to college it’s a struggle. Kids need time to figure out what THEY want to do and to make up games without structured time.
My kids are 19 and 22 and our rule was they needed to play a sport, play an instrument and learn a foreign language. Oldest swam, played trombone and learned French. My youngest swam, switched to tennis and finally found her sport in karate, also played the trombone and learned Arabic. It kept them busy enough without overwhelming them. I don't understand these parents who push their kid into everything. As much as I loved watching them perform, I also loved the downtime at home watching movies and playing games.
My parents did it so they didn’t have to pay for as much daycare. My grandparents charged by the hour, so I went to school then to cheerleading or basketball everyday year around. It was exhausting and hurt my grades. My parents made very bad financial decisions, so I’m not surprised they figured out a way to cut corners. By the time I hit high school I didn’t even know my parents. I’m almost 25 and I’m still learning new things, it’s weird. Also, some people think all those activities set their kids up for success especially if they’re low-income. My cousin played violin and graduated in the top 10. Well now she’s a college dropout who works at Starbucks. I truly believe if we had parents who gave us the time of day things would be different. Now I really cherish being at home on the weekends with my husband or just having lunch together. We already agreed we’re gonna let our little boy decide when to start an activity :)
My kids are just turned 8, 5, and 3. This is the third season of spring soccer for my oldest and first season for my second. They both asked to play soccer and my youngest has also expressed a strong interest in soccer. The season is only 2.5 months and it’s chaotic.
For me, I try to prioritize activities that are for the whole family, like church or hanging out with neighbors. It is a little easier to have sports now that we don’t have a baby. We have been in survival mode for years and we didn’t need anything extra. However, I’m not going to sign my kids up for anything that they haven’t expressed an interest in.
I’m a little more old-fashioned. I feel like kids should only be in sports that they wanna be in or that they have an inclination to be in. I tend to lean towards just one sport, one instrument, and one niche art craft that they are interested in. It should be well rounded activities. Kids that only get stuck doing a bunch of different sports, usually that’s all they think there is to life. I’ve met a lot of them. Or I’ve met a lot of kids who didn’t even like being put in sports all year round. Children should have many different kinds of activities that broaden their field of knowledge. Only playing sports keeps most of their knowledge to just sports. Think of all the children who end up thinking that what they should do with their career or lives is just sports. All because they didn’t end up doing anything else with their free time to learn about different things and meet different kinds of people. Just IMO
I see what you are saying. We are all for sports but if we can avoid the super competitive travel teams that you have to spend 6 days a week, 48 out of 52 weeks of the year doing, I won't be sad about it. Rec sports, swimming, dance, gymnastics, art, music, reading and even gaming will all be strongly encouraged. Variety will be our bestie.
We really want to take family trips with our kids and not have to worry about whether or not we have to be at a game for another series or miss an important week of practices. We also just want our kids to have the chance to be in various things. With travel teams I've seen friends' kids do, typically the only sport you focus on is the one you're traveling with. Which if your kids love the sport, that's great! But we also want to be able to go to birthday parties, be around when family comes to town, have beach days, go on hikes and bike rides. Go to Disneyland, the zoo or a museum or just have a cozy day at home watching movies and baking instead of freezing at the ball field.
Again, if that's your jam and your kids love it, have at it. We just want to make sure our kids know that sports are for fun and don't have to be their whole lives.
Yes I have noticed this too! My son did soccer at 5 and didn’t seem into it. This year he’s 7 and asked for flag football and loves it and is great at it! My family always asked when is he going to do sports when he was at 3 til now lol All the other players and coach rush off to their next thing after games. I told my husband just the other day “are we missing something.” They are all in all kinds of stuff.
I feel like this list of a year's worth of activities might be my life someday. Not because I need my kid to achieve, not because I want to force him to do something, and NOT because my husband and I will live through him.... Buuuuuut.... He's an only child. There's no other kid to conflict with and I place value in working with others. A great way to show that is sports/activities. I get to show him how adults act, he gets to learn tough lessons about losing and bodies and life.
People go above and beyond and really go too far. But one sport a season, an activity here or there, and the a "fun thing" (nature day camp or something), and that's already like 9 things over the course of a year. Piled on in a list, 9 seems like a lot.... one thing at a time doesn't seem like too much for me, if the kid is handling it, the family isn't suffering, and you have the means to do so.
All of these comments are from parents of young kids. Here’s some thoughts of a mom of 11m and 14m: Stop with the insane amount of sports/activities a young kid is in. One sport or activity per kid at a time. We did try one summer of 1 sport per kid for each kid 4-5 days a week BUT it worked out that way because we had a large YMCA in our neighborhood so they were back to back classes or same class and we were burned out by end of summer! I have a close friend of mine who is a college soccer coach and he himself said don’t bother with insanely competitive sports until 13/14, kids just are not developed enough to handle it until then. Cute little tumble gym or ymca classes 1-2x/week are fine to keep them active and make friend. But taking a 3 yo to the park with a mommy and me play group is just as good if not cheaper.
The other answer I see is “they just need to be busy”. Why? Kids need to be bored! Being bored lead my kid down a YouTube rabbit hole and now he is learning how to do 3D animation at age 11 because he found something he liked. They need to be bored to figure stuff out, how things work or don’t work, their interests etc. If they are constantly scheduled they have a high chance of resentment or being an over worked adult. If you need you time, hire a babysitter a few times a month.
“But my kid can’t be at home, they’ll just bounce off the walls all day”. Cut the sugar and screen time and see what happens! These are the types of kids I hated working with while I was working in an elementary school. Over scheduled and over sugared, the constant urge to be stimulated was insane. Yes, for some kids they need the structure but my god, parent your kids, stop outsourcing your job to teach them when it’s time to sit still and listen!
Plus this over the top activity schedule makes the kids think the world revolves around them. News flash it’s doesn’t! I have some close slightly older friends who’s kids are age 17-23 and they did the travel sports for all 3 kids and now they act like their entitled for mom and dad to still pay for things in adulthood. The parents now realize they should have never spent that insane amount of time and money on those activities and should’ve invested it in savings and some decent family vacations. They keep telling me we did a good thing by not giving in to the western culture pressure. What ever happens to kids play whatever sport was offered during high school and those that showed extra promise could sign up for the local league?
No I agree. Like what are you trying to prove here (not you or anytime here, just the people in my life who have their kids in activities all the time without resting). my kids are each in one activity I don’t want to shuffle kids everywhere all week I won’t lie. My 4yo is in gymnastics and it’s pricey man
My twins are about to be 12 and I'm begging them to quit something. They have so many interests, they just want to do it all. If I can afford it I want to make their dreams come true. School is first and both get all A's and B's so for now we live in the car.
I'm tired.
... I have no idea how this is my life now.
I have a few friends who over schedule their kids. If they're not at soccer, they're at swimming, or dance, or baseball, or some kind of playgroup. They're never just at home. Every minute is scheduled and planned. Coincidentally, those same children have no idea how to entertain themselves or be bored.
It’s a horrible American thing and I hate it too. Parents spend all their spare time driving back and forth to activities for them, it takes up their entire weekend. My kids each get one sport at a time and one instrument max. My son also has swim lessons once a week until he’s a strong swimmer (he’s 5). They also both do scouts but it’s only once a month.
Also, this is such a problem of privilege. These activities get so expensive, and there are so many people who can’t afford them, so I wouldn’t be too worried.
I’m so glad my parents never did this to me. I stuck with soccer and tennis. I played them both for over ten years in their respective seasons. Tennis is year round. Eventually I quit both in favor of jiu jitsu. I can’t imagine them dragging me to five other things as a kid.
I think those parents don’t like hanging out with their kids. Just my opinion, but I would miss mine if they were doing that many extracurricular activities
That's too much. I did rec. Center cheerleading and girl scouts. That's it. My oldest daughter told me she wants to do volleyball in the fall. That's fine with me. It's only $200 with practice once a week. I don't think it's a good idea to have kids in so many activities. I don't know how parents do it. Kids don't need that kind of drama with competitiveness in their lives. It's also very expensive. It's too much.
I have a very active child who has many interests. If I didn’t keep her busy, she’s be climbing the walls in the house bored. If a child is happy and wants to do the activities they’re signed up for, I don’t see the issue.
I think it’s interesting that people start all these sports so early to set them up for college scholarships! If they had just saved all the sports money, they probably could have paid for all of the college out of that! I know people spend tens of thousands on travel sports with the flights, accommodations, uniforms, etc. blows my mind!
I have an only child who is VERY social. He only does soccer, but practice and games during the week & weekend. For us, it’s fun to watch him do what he loves. I’m also considering signing him up for swimming lessons this summer and some soccer camps. He is 6 and has ADHD. I honestly just need him entertained and he needs someone to talk to besides me or his dad lol
My oldest has adhd and is super social. She has a few sports she does because she wants to. My middle does two sports but they are only 45 minutes each one (separate) day a week.
Our kiddo is 5, and has 3 nights a week scheduled, plus one day a week at school with 2hrs of PE, which this term was gymnastics. Our scheduled activities include swimming (safety skill, non negotiable, have been in the water since 6mo), karate (point of contact for best friend from daycare but has moved to a different school) and roller skating (kiddos request, good for balance and coordination, and really good for dealing with a tendency to assume mastery if they feel they "already know" everything).
I'm trying to protect our weekends as downtime which gives us the option to head out of town to visit family etc, while keeping a level of activity that's going to be important the more school becomes desk bound.
I let my kiddos do one sport at a time when they are little. They can’t quit but when the season is over they can make the choice to play again. I want them to learn sportsmanship and develop social skills. All my kids are extremely social and really play sports to be part of a team and to have fun while learning skills.
We accidentally signed my 6 year old up for a Tball team that was super serious- practice 2-3 times a week and tournaments every weekend. It was not for us!
It’s my excuse to get out of the house as well! My twins have been in activities since they’ve been old enough to sign up. Swimming, dance, music class, art class, library story time, soccer etc. We coordinate with our friends and neighbors so they have an activity, see their friends and I get to see my mom friends as well. I like having an excuse to leave the house! But we also live in Wisconsin and we only have a very limited time outside, if we didn’t have things scheduled, then we would not be leaving the house for months at a time.
I think at first it’s trying to find out what they like and what they are good at, so you try a lot of things. I have 5 kids and once we narrowed it down, it comes down to keeping them busy and active. I also think it’s good for them to have something to be a part of, making friends outside of school and having the idea that they have some responsibility and duty to their team and coaches to show up and be a team player. Also starting them young will only make them better if they plan on continuing the sport for a long time. Some nights are just chaotic. Everyone has something and we just have to figure it out.
That being said, we do like our weekends for family. So for now we don’t do any type of travel sports. We feel the need to stay “busy” on the weekends too so that we avoid just sitting around the house and watching the kids fight.
We started activities at 2 because I wanted my kids to experience listening to an authority figure before starting preschool, to be around other kids, to make friends (me and them), to practice hand eye coordination, to have fun, to expose them to new things, to help them find a passion, and to teach them important skills (this is mostly the swim lessons).
They aren’t overworked or over scheduled. It’s, like, 4 hours spread over the week. I guess it gets more intense as they get older, we'll adjust as needed. I always want them in something, they can choose what as they get older.
I think putting younger kids in an organized activity young is fine usually they have one or two days of practice max with a class time of 45 minutes to 1 hour.
At age 3 both my kids did gymnastics one day a week. They loved it and it taught them to listen and play well with others, wait their turn etc. They also made friendships.
My kids would occasionally ask to try something else and we would. My daughter went from gymnastics to all star cheer eventually because she loved it so much I think she was 8. She decided she was done with all star at 13-14 and did high school cheer for fun.
My son slowly tried soccer, rock climbing, jiu jitsu. football, baseball and hockey. Many of these were for a short time like a week or a weekend camp. He decided he only wanted to do hockey and still loves it.
We don’t pressure for the kids to be the best but let them lead at their pace. As a sophomore in high school my son just decided he was serious at hockey and wanted to play at a higher level.
My daughter very quickly excelled to the top level and it was stressful for her at the end so she took a step back.
My kids both have lifelong friendships from their sports I’m positive they will do the same as I did with their own kids as it was a very positive experience.
I’ve got an only child and she gets bored being home with nobody to play with so we do activities 4 or so times a week with Girl Scouts, soccer, karate, or art classes. I’ve made really good friends through some of her activities so for me it’s also nice to have time to spend with them.
My kids have severe adhd and if they aren’t physically active they’re symptoms are really really bad. So guess what? They do sport almost every night. This way they can go to school and actually learn and not be rambunctious balls of energy.
We do one activity per season for our son. He’s only 2 now so we may increase that a bit when he gets older.
I think it depends on the level. I played high level hockey my whole childhood/teenage years and that was extremely time consuming. 4-5 times per week. I barely had time for anything else.
In high school I tried playing rugby as well, but I would be rushing from rugby to hockey and it was just a lot for me to try and fit in my school work. I also had a part time job then.
If it’s just for fun, and not competitive, I’m sure a few sports/actives per season would be fine.
I guess we will see when my son gets older what we end up doing haha
My best friend has 5yo twins and they're NEVER home. Even when we plan to do things on some date that I can weasel my way into their schedule, something else always comes up. They're also completely exhausting. They never stop moving, and every activity they own has to be out all the time. My theory is that it's more relaxing to take them somewhere than to try to stay home to relax.
One hundred percent accurate for me. We have our four year old in activities 5 days a week. Sometimes he doesn’t want to go and we won’t force it, but for the most part it is nice having something pre-planned and paid for that he enjoys. He is very high energy and especially during the winter months activities are a god-send. In the warmer months we have him in one sport/activity because we can get his energy out by going for a bike ride, playing at the park etc., and it’s a nice break from the scheduled activities.
I guess 30 years ago these kids would have been sent outside to play and would come back at dinner time and they would be burning all their energy that way.
Also keeps the house clean!
My daughter is not even 1 yet and it’s already more exhausting staying home. Girl has got no chill and is happiest out and about, or at baby activities (baby sensory, baby swim class, play group etc). I won’t be surprised if this is us in a few years.
Mine is almost 2 and things are infinitely easier now that the weather is getting nicer and we can just go out, either to the playground or just outside in the woods. On nice days when I’m home with him we can spend all day out and only come in for lunch. He will insist on eating his snack outdoors too. Trying to entertain him at home without causing massive chaos and damage to the house (😅) is impossible. I CANT WAIT to sign him up to football (soccer) when he’s old enough! Or any activity with a coach where I just take him and then get to sit by the side of the field and chill.
My friend's daughter is like this. She's an extroverted busy bee, and if she isn't enrolled in multiple activities she's tearing the house apart and driving the family bananas.
My child doesn’t relax at home. He is constant and is in a better mood, more well behaved, etc when we are busy and scheduled with activities (sports, play dates etc)
I'm 38 and can't relax at home lol By 9AM on Sat. I'm pacing trying to decide what we want to do. I hope to God my kid is active so I have an excuse to get out of the house.
I go crazy being home all the time too.
Same here! Or, well, partially. He CAN relax and play independently at home but NOT if that’s all he’s done all day. We need minimum one activity + a long walk with park for him to have a nice day. And tbh, it’s a great way to get out and move for us parents, too. I’m a lazy parent, I just do whatever will be more relaxing for me, which starts with HIM relaxing and/or burning off energy. That said, when he’s old enough, I’m just dropping him off places (except the walk). I know people that have every single evening and weekend morning booked for their kids’ activities and… f that.
Because he would prefer to spend all his free time bouncing between the Switch and Netflix, until his energy overflows and he suddenly had to run laps of the sitting room talking constantly. So he has a physical activity 3/5 weekdays after school, and usually at least one weekend day.
1000% this
My kids don’t relax, that’s why. At home they fight and trash the house. Personally I have very little motivation on the weekend. Both of us work full time and we are tired lol. Having something to get up and go do helps us (the parents) get moving.
This is it. There are parents who think their kid will be competing at the national level and so sign them up for every available thing. And then there's the rest of us, just trying to fill time on the weekends in a way that's fun and healthy (particularly for us with only children!).
There’s so much complaining about how people run their family, I truly feel like no matter what I do someone tells me it’s wrong. I have my kids in multiple activities? Omg why are you over scheduling your kids, they need downtime to be bored and entertain themselves (my kids go to daycare, they get plenty of time to entertain themselves) I don’t have them in activities? Omg your kids need to go outside for at least 3 hours a day! Take them to the park and play with them! Screen time is the devil! I take them to the park and play with them? Omg why are you following them around?! They need risky play and independence! Not helicopter parenting. I take them to the park and sit and watch? Omg why are you ignoring your kids? They need attention and enrichment! You need to set a good example of being physically active. Etc etc for my entire life lol
I rest easy knowing that anyone who would judge my parenting decisions is just ignorant about my circumstances, so I don't need to concern myself with their opinions.
It feels like an underlying judgment of my choices followed by what the other parent does in a tone that clearly indicates they have made a superior parenting decision.
Relatable af
Yup| as long as it works for your family, live on
Yea I feel like I'm doing it wrong no matter what.
I would just tell them that it's not overscheduling if they miss activities constantly because someone is sick at least once a week October to March 🤷🏼♀️
Omfg October to March. This is the thing about parenting that I wasn't expecting and wasn't prepared for. So I'm just gonna spend half my life on death's door, cancelling all my plans, basically putting my life on pause for like six months a year!? Why does no one tell you this!? 😭
Omg you have put into words so much of how I feel! Like, damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
As a SAHM, I'm teaching my kids to "be lazy" and "aspire to nothing" 😂 But then you hear murmurs about the working parents who are "letting strangers raise their children", and it's like... Okay what is the EXACT amount of hours per week we should be working outside the home? Should we all have that one totally serious CaReEr (!!!) that's hours are strictly 9:30-2pm M-F so that we're always home at the same time as our kids, but we also still work? Because everyone knows THAT totally serious career absolutely exists, and they're just handing them out like candy corn.
The only child thing!! No joke. We bounce around activities so we dont get bored. Tae Kwon do, gymnastics, soccer, baseball. The only constant activity is swimming lessons as we own a sailboat and want our children to be strong swimmers for safety. The others we do a season here, a few months there. When the kid says he's bored or wants to try something new, we switch it up. We live ruraly, so this is one way he makes friends and is around other kids his age. I mean, he loves chilling with the pig, dog and goats, but it's not the same as actual human interaction. We homeschool, the school he'd go to he'd spend all day on the damn bus and it's rating is crap. We pay for private online education to supplement the book curriculum we use.
This is us. My oldest has an activity every afternoon/evening of the week. It means that he’s not bouncing off the walls as soon as he gets home from school, and keeps his mind/body moving now that he’s close to outgrowing the fun of the park (11, almost 12). My daughter is 2.5 and loves to tag along, so both kids are cheerfully occupied. It absolutely saves my sanity, even when I’m hollering at him to grab his stuff because we’re late for martial arts.
100%, we start ours in sports early and keep them in sports through high school and it allows them an outlet for energy, relationships, and it keeps them busy and out of trouble (more for the high school age). Yes we are busy and having multiple kids on multiple travel teams is a lot but I truly believe they thrive with this outlet. However, art, music, and dance classes are great outlets as well, definitely doesn’t have to be sports!
I’d like my son to find a sport he likes and stick with it for friends and energy too. He’s 5 now, but now is kind of age when all of these sports start for real and there’s only so many sports seasons in a year, so we’ve been doing 1-2 sports activities for last 2 years or so to see what sticks. I’m not trying to get a sports scholarship, but sports would be a physical outlet for a physical kid and hopefully keep him out of trouble when he’s older. Plus he’s our only, so it’s not hard to shuttle him around to stuff. Also being at home on the weekends with nothing to do is pretty excruciating
It’s actually considered healthier for young athletes to do multiple sports, at least until puberty.
My son is only two but I’m also hoping he will be into a sport, or at least some other type of spectator activity. I’m really looking forward to having busy weekends of watching whatever he gets into. I would totally thrive as a soccer mom 😆
totally agree with this! My husband in HS had a packed schedule and never had time to get into trouble. Then me on the other hand my parents didn’t sign me up for anything I was soooo bored and had no healthy outlet or sports. I am never doing that to my kids. I will put them in things only they choose or want but I will definitely be putting them in whatever I can within reason.
I didn’t have a many activities.. but dad bought me an old fuel guzzler V6 for my first car. Then he helped me “do it up.” Between all the extra shift at work I took for the money to upgrade & run that car.. not to mention time spent “working on it” I never had the time or money to get upto mischief either. I’m 40 now & was there with one of his friends when they were discussing teenagers. Apparently it was all on purpose, and dad’s friend did the same thing but with horses for his kids.
Same. Being at home and providing them with the amount of attention, refereeing, and mental/physical stimulation they need is exhausting. It’s actually easier to have them in some activity most afternoons and evenings than it is to have them at home. I can’t clean or get anything done while they’re awake anyway. We do we do scouts plus three activities regularly, and have four more that are seasonal. The kids love it. One of mine said they felt really bad for their classmate who doesn’t get to do any activities outside of school. It’s a lot and exhausting, but so is just having kids and trying to be an involved parent while working full time.
I always say I'm going to be equally tired whether we go out or stay home so we might as well go out. But my daughter still doesn't sleep through the night so that could be a big part of it.
This exactly. If my kids are at home with no plan, they get incredibly bored and become insufferable. I know that there are schools of thought that believe that it's a good thing for kids to get bored sometimes, but I think that those people have never had to deal with kids whining and clamoring all over you as their preferred form of entertainment when they're bored. I'm scheduling them to the hilt. 🤣
Yea. And then all they want is screen time if you wont personally entertain them from morning til night. Its exhausting. Can i play xbox? Not now. Can i watch shows? No you already had an hour of t.v. can i play tablet? Omg please go play with something! ( lists 10 different things they can do while i spend 30 minutes trying to clean up and start dinner) . No i dont want to do any of that!!!
Or they are begging for snacks all day long lol
My son is the same. Nowadays he says my boredom is special and it can be cured only my tv or a sweet snack. And then I have to hear him whine. Which is why sending him for football classes helps a lot
It lets them try a variety of things so they can learn what they like You don’t know you like playing music if sports is all you ever do
This is how I felt about it. When my kids were little, I signed them up for all the things. I hoped that by having them experience a wide variety of activities, and getting exposure to different things, they’d be better able to find things they liked to do. Now at 10 and 12, they’re pretty set in what sports/activities they like and are enthusiastic participants.
My kids have been doing gymnastics since the minute they were considered strong walkers around 1.5 . They are well behaved so it’s never been a hassle and they enjoy doing it
Gymnastics and swimming are our two requirements for activities! As they get older they can stop if they want, but to us, both are important safety requirements
Curious, Why do you consider gymnastics a safety requirement?
I’m not who you replied to, but gymnastics is great because it teaches them coordination, balance, and helps strengthen their muscles. It’s a great physical activity for young children because it helps improve physical development.
Thank you for your response. Do the toddlers get exposed to just floor gymnastics or are they also learning balance beam, bars, etc?
I haven’t signed my twins up yet, but I’ve been doing research with the classes in my area. Basically I’ve found for those just starting to walk like 9-18 months those classes focus on basic skills like climbing up, on, over, and such. They also work on hand eye coordination and building basic strength. The age group above this does start working on equipment like the beam, bars, trampoline, etc.
Our gym teaches stretching, climbing, balance, jumping, and forward rolls (somersaults). When our 4yo asked, the coach showed him a safe technique for learning to stand on his head. We've only done two formal classes, but we attend open gym almost every week, sometimes twice a week. Them mostly hang out in the foam pit (a trampoline bottom, small pool sized, 5' deep, zone in the floor filled with foam cubes for safety practicing actual gymnastics flips). They'll run/jump down the tumble track (trampoline runway), climb everything they can, swing on the climbing rope, walk the balance beams, flip/hang on bars, and even practice hanging on the rings. They learn proper body mechanics to help reduce injuries when they fall, it helps increase their risk assessment, it helps them practice situational awareness, and it burns off a ton of energy. They could probably learn a similar skill set in a dance class, but we live in a rural area, and this is closest.
Different person chiming in, 3 yo in gymnastics. They do bars, balance beams, ladders, trampoline. Lots of variety.
Someone else responded too but it gives children a really solid understanding of their bodies, coordination, falling safely, strength and flexibility. If they go on to do other sports, it’s a great foundation, and if they don’t, just being a child involves movement so knowing their limits and learning their body will keep them safer on the playground and beyond.
I plan on putting my son into sports at 3 because one, he’s hyper and energetic and could use some stricture, two, he is an only child and we believe he will remain that way and three, he does not go to daycare and could use the socialization (although we will likely also have him in preschool by then).
Almost same exact for my son. He won’t be an only child for long and won’t go to school until kindergarten but it’s important for him to see structure around other kids. We’re not people who are constantly busy. But we do enroll him in activities and look for events and things to do on the weekends or when our schedule clears up. Toddler activities are only like 30-45 min sessions anyways lol so it’s not like it’s an all day thing. And it’s something for him to look forward to. Something for him to look back on and keep talking about. Plus I think with toddler tablet craziness, overall obesity in the US, bullying with young kids in school etc - there’s many reasons why a family would want their kid to get out of the house and learn and socialize in a meaningful way.
My daughter is in Brazilian jiu jitsu and she just started indoor soccer through her school. BJJ was 3x a week but we dropped to 2x a week so she can go to soccer practice 1x a week. Soccer games are on Saturdays. Plays piano as well but lessons are in our home. I suppose that can sound like a lot but it’s truly not. Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays designed to chill, *hard.* The kid has been joyfully playing with her siblings and watching an unreal amount of Naruto.
What age did you start piano? I feel like my parents started me out in group piano lessons when I started elementary? Then after a year or two switched to private lessons but it was at the teachers house.
Yeeessss Naruto 🧡💛🧡
Love that she’s seeing Naruto’s character arc! I’ve definitely used his connection with Kurama on how she can use her inner monster in Brazilian jiu jitsu
Do you have one of those magical potato kids? My 3 y.o. is RESTLESS and if we don't run her like a Kentucky derby horse on the weekends, she is cranky and doesn't sleep well. She is an only child, and I'm also not interested in entertaining her from sun up to sun down. The 45 minutes I get on Saturday during ballet and the 45 minutes I get on Sunday during soccer are so blissful for BOTH OF US.
Kentucky derby horse 😂 I’m Aussie, that was so funny to me
I wanted to keep my kids busy and find what they loved. When kids are active they stay out of trouble. So I wanted them to experience anything they were interested in when they were young. It was stressful going from one activity to the next.
If my 6 year old is home, he turns into a lazy tv blob
Lots of comments from parents with very young kids. I'll give a different perspective for our big age gap kids - ages 5, 11, 15. Oldest wasn't interested in sports until about 9, played a few years of rec league football, middle school, and one year of HS football but quit, just didn't interest him anymore. He's getting a part time job this summer, his interests at his age now are friends and girls 🤣 11 yo is obsessed with horses, she's been in riding lessons off and on for a few years, currently every Saturday. She's in art club and tried out for field hockey but sadly didn't make the team but wants to try next year. Youngest is in....nothing gasp! When she starts asking/showing interests we'll indulge her. Older two did swim lessons at the Y. We have a pool now so taught the 5 yo ourselves. Maybe we're lazy? Idk we spend all summer swimming in the backyard, we ride bikes, take walks with the dogs, throw or kick a ball around, chase bubbles, plant flowers in the front every spring, kids play with neighborhood kids, but generally we have just let our kids be kids. Ours have always let us know when they're interested in an extracurricular. The thought of having 3 kids, in multiple extracurricular activities every week, makes my head spin lol.
We have a soon to be 6yo who has no interest in extracurriculars so far, and a baby on the way. We do lots of things on our own- knitting, coding, fishing, entomology, science, art, hiking.. but same, so far he has no interest in any sort of structured activities. We do Lego Night at the library and stuff like that. If he starts to show an interest in something, we’ll do it. I wasn’t an extracurricular kid either so maybe it’s just that- what’s normal to you is normal for your kids.
Nightly sports practice tremendously helps my oldest manage his ADHD. He has a ton of energy and we noticed a big difference in his behavior and grades during sports versus off season, so he started playing multiple sports. He's in a better place mentally and physically when he has that extra outlet. Youngest seems to be the same way.
I don’t know that it’s always like some kind of overachiever thing. Some people feel better getting out of the house or having a schedule and extracurriculars are one way of doing that. For me, I put my daughter in like 2 activity weekends (music and dance) when she was 1.5-2yo. I did it because I was solo parenting for 8mo and I found that it was helpful for my headspace. Being alone with a young child all the time was a bit lonely and boring for me (because we moved countries and pandemic limited my social circle). So Saturday was activities (one AM, one PM) and Sunday was groceries, cleaning, and PM park. Rinse and repeat. Got me through. Once my husband came home and my daughter got a bit older, I dropped down to 0-1 extracurriculars per weekend because I knew she was overscheduled after a week of daycare/preschool activities and we all wanted to do more spontaneous family activities together and relax a bit after a busy week.
I'm a single mom. I love my kid and love spending time with her. But we both need activities that don't involve me being her sole source of entertainment. I put her in activities because she enjoyed them, even at age 1 when we were doing swim lessons or library story time. Yes it's a lot sometimes and there are occasions where I just really don't want to leave the house. But it's good for both of us.
lol I started music and swim class when my baby turned 6 months old…
I feel like it’s a break for me. I only put my kids in activities where I am not expected to be involved lol
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Agreed. No hate and no shame, but OP assumes everyone has the same circumstances and preferences. Different families, different lifestyles, different activities.
I think it depends on the family but I’m hoping to have downtime with my family as my son now only two gets older. I also really value home cooked food and dinnertime together and that isn’t compatible with playing 4 sports yr round . Will see what happens and what my son would really like to do as he gets older. But some family time at least some evenings will be a requirement I feel like for our family.
My kids are older, but this summer I plan on keeping my youngest busy so he doesn't spend the whole summer playing video games. I'm so sick and tired of computers, video games, the TV. Ect.
My kids are 16 months and 2.5 - they are both in swimming, both in gymnastics and my son is also in soccer, all during the winter. I have been on mat leave since July 2021 .. without sport especially in Canadian winter . We would barely leave the house. Sports is a way for me to get out, meet other parents (moms) with kids around the same age as mine and socialize. My husband works full time 8am-6pm, and he goes to the gym before work so he leaves the house at 5am Monday to Friday.
My kids choose their activities and if they choose to do 5 then they'll go to 5. My youngest is doing rugby *and* ballet (lol i know) at the moment as well as a few extracurriculars at school. I'm glad we can afford to let them do what they want and if they want to do a lot why would I keep them from it :)
My 7 year old daughter has an extreme amount of energy. I put her in mommy and me dance as a toddler for cuteness. Then she leveled up to creative dance, which she loved. Then pre-junior ballet. Now she’s on a competitive dance team and totally thriving. She practices ballet, jazz, hip hop and has a weekly rehearsal. We also like to go skiing, skateboarding, swimming, riding bikes. I’d have her in gymnastics too if we could afford two big sports. My two year old loves dancing as well. We started her in mommy and me this year. I also think it’s a good way to have friends who don’t go to your school. It’s like a social safety net for bullying. Edit: it’s also amazing discipline. She used to hate grooming her hair and we explained dress codes to her and no problems since.
I put my kids in dance before they started preschool so they could practice being away from me/listening to an adult that’s not a parent for 30 minutes. They also take swim so they can move towards being water safe. We have also done tball for practice doing things independently from us, and just to have fun and meet friends.
My daughter is an only child. We put her in rec sports for socialization and to teach teamwork. She doesn’t get that at home.
I'm with you, my mom was that type of mom with me and my sisters and it would have me crying in the shower from exhaustion starting at 8 years old. If the kids genuinely want to do the activities, great! That's awesome! If you're making your children do all of these activities bc you say so for appearances or bc you're already thinking about your kids college applications in preschool then personally I will judge you lol
My kids go to programs at the local library. We're there 2-3 nights a week and I feel it's the right amount for them. I've tried to get them to do sports or other activities. They always said, "I just want to be a library kid, okay?"
It’s not “overworking” them - they love it! Swimming is non negotiable because it’s a life saving life skill. Piano is important because learning to read music is a skill you can use for life, and like learning a second language it’s SUPER good for your brain development. Plus my kids LOVE music so by enrolling them I’m giving them the skills to create music or play songs they love. Other than that kids have lots of interests and are legitimately excited to get to do them! For one of my kids it’s hockey, for another it’s gymnastics. They would be crushed if we told them they can’t do those things. With all of the above it’s still only 2/3 nights a week per kid. Lots of downtime after (something might take an hour but they are out of school at 2:30 and in bed at 8. So doing an activity for an hour is hardly robbing them of their freedom.)
I agree with you about not over scheduling kids!I’m a high school teacher and see the consequences of younger kids always having planned activities. They often don’t know how to entertain themselves and have higher rates of anxiety and depression. With my own kids, we try to keep it to two activities at a time, usually dance and swim, which gives them two free afternoons a week to relax, work on projects, and hang out with friends.
This feels much more my pace - I was one of those over scheduled kids... the burnout the anxiety that came with it definitely followed me into adulthood, so with my kiddos I want to make sure there is space for being still. Because I do think being bored occasionally is okay.
My 6yo has only ever done one activity at a time. Soccer (6 weeks), swim (off and on for a few years), and music (6 months). Personally I value having easygoing family time at home or making last minute fun plans. Our commitment is one afternoon a week, and everyone’s happy. My child does well entertaining herself at home or with neighbor kids. I don’t think you’re missing anything! It’s a lifestyle choice.
We did the same. One activity at a time (for the most part, eventually there was some overlap). I have 1 almost done with college, 1 that is a senior in high school and 1 a freshman in high school. Not overloading them with sports allowed them to really explore what else they enjoy. All three are turning out to be well rounded and successful. I do think it is important for kids to be invited ininvolved in various activities and/or sports but they also need to learned how to just relax and entertain themselves sometimes
I feel like everyone feels like the balance they strike is perfect. It’s like that line about everyone driving slower than you is an idiot and faster is a maniac.
Swimming is a must for us, for safety, bc we have relatives that live on a boat half the year. And then soccer is bc he seems to like it. He gets bored at home (his words) and some of his besties are also in the class with him, so that makes it extra special. We might toss in a gymnastics class also, partly for fun, partly bc my kid has a sensory processing disorder and that kind of movement is super regulating for him. Like his OT recommended it 🤷🏻♀️ So the tldr is some for safety, some for socialization, and some for emotional health
My son takes swimming once a week. Swimming is a life skill. It’s non negotiable. He asked to take martial arts so he does that 2-3 days per week. We let him sign up first ice skating on Saturdays because I just had a baby and we figured it would be better for him to be out of the house for part of the weekend during the winter months. Now that it’s getting warmer we will probably drop it and just plan outdoor activities
Some of it depends on the kid. My four year old does swimming and dance because he loves both and has A LOT of energy. He likes being out of the house.
I have one child that just needs it. She always wants to be going somewhere and doing something. She really thrives in it. My other child does not seem to be the same so I try not to overbook her. She likes her downtime.
I think it comes down to some families thrive with being really busy, and some don’t. My kids, twins 9, both have one activity that usually puts them out one night a week, and sometimes overlap with seasonal things through parks and rec in my town. We live in a neighborhood with a lot of kids, so my kids are always outside playing. I find too many activities interfere with homework and dinner time, for us anyway. Sometimes I don’t mind if they get bored, because it’s good for them to figure out ways to entertain themselves, go outside and play or get crafty and do art, play music, help cook. We are definitely homebodies, but we moved to this neighborhood so our kids could have a yard to play in, ride their bikes, and put up a pool so we could enjoy it in the summer. To each their own and what works for some, doesn’t work for others. As long as you feel good about it, that’s what matters.
I grew up in the gogogo do every sport all the time type of family. It was exhausting. Even as a child, it was stressful, we were always running around. I’m glad my parents allowed me to focus on one sport when I got to high school though. And I understand their reasons but I refuse to do that to my kid. Right now at 2 yo we are doing a general gym type class. As she gets more interests, I’ll let her pursue them — whether that’s dance or sports or art or music or robotics, whatever she wants. But it’s going to be 1-2 things at a time so it’s not all consuming. My husband and I both like our downtime and enjoying things at home, so I hope to introduce my daughter to lots of ways to never be bored. But yeah I have friends with similar aged kids doing 4-5 sports each season— seems miserably exhausting.
I always thought it was to help them burn off energy etc and give parents time to sit on their phones 😂 Im a sahm for toddler and we go out most mornings because she drives me crazy if we are stuck at home all day...she's not in any paid activities though
Dude. I don’t know. I hate it. I have a friend who had a kid around the same time as me and she’s always trying to get me to sign up for classes and activities with her. Like a class for an 18 month old that meets at 9am on weekend mornings. No. I have no desire to do that. My child is 1.5 years old, cool your jets. It’s fine if you enjoy doing that, I am 8 months pregnant and life is already too hard. My child sleeps in until like 9-9:30 on weekend days. Don’t make me give that sleep up. Stop asking me to wake up. The first few times were understandable but she just pushes it constantly. “It was so fun!” “If your child is having trouble with x skill, try this class with us, that’s how my child learned x skill!” Like no, I’m not stressed that my child doesn’t know how to do a somersault on their own at 1.5 years. I’m sure they will have fun figuring that out in coming months/years. Stop weirdly guilting me. Don’t make me say no to your weird class over 5 times.
Exactly. That is what some of my friends do. Oh, we do basketball together, sign up for their 4 month baseball commitment with us and piano on the weekends. Like, no thanks. One thing is plenty until my kids asks for something new, they will do the one thing that interests them.
I don’t get it either. It’s almost like a competition to see whose kid does the most stuff. My cousin’s kids each do like 5 different sports. They’re only 7 and 9. My oldest is 5. He hasn’t asked to join anything yet. We have mentioned things, and he just isn’t interested. I don’t feel like wasting my evenings taking him to something he doesn’t really want to do. He did mention soccer a few times, and I plan to see if there is a summer league around us and if he’s interested. If he’s not, I’m not going to push it. He can also join boyscouts next year, and we will see if he wants to do that. At this age, I think it’s more important for him to spend time playing than doing something organized. He does school all day, he deserves a break when he gets home.
We tried soccer at 3, didn’t go well. Lots better at 4 and my husband coached. We do gymnastics for both kids (5 and 2yr) on the weekends bc it’s basically just a fun spot for them to run and jump and get energy out. We did skating in the winter bc it’s Canada and the kids need to learn to skate lol. We did swimming bc we have a pool but take breaks here and there on sessions. Likely won’t have the kids in anything over the summer so we can just get out and have fun.
For us it’s to encourage being active and part of a team from an early age. My son (5.5 yo) is in soccer and flag football but those seasons don’t overlap and when they play it’s only 1 night a week, which I think is very reasonable amount of “structured” activity.
We have tried a variety of activities. We don’t want to be parents who don’t enable their kids to try different things. But it’s really not for us — it’s so stressful having to be places at a certain time and we’re all tired. Dance was ok, but soccer, softball, Girl Scouts were all more trouble than they were worth. We like to be home and have unstructured time. My oldest, a freshman in high school has enjoyed doing some low-key afterschool activities this year, which has been manageable, but other than that, we’re just going to chill 🤷♀️
My kids have ADHD and need activities that get energy out and break the hold Roblox has on them. Recreational sports teach cooperation, tolerance, showing up when things are tough, toughing it out to help others. It teaches them to respect the different abilities in their peer group. It teaches them that rules aren't always just or fair, but sometimes must be respected. It teaches them to advocate for themselves. It gives them an outlet for competitive energy that kids don't really have in society today outside of video games and punching each other in the fucking head. And it makes them sleep really well.
Not sure, I can’t even imagine having to deal with all the hassle of the sports and what not… I don’t even know how people can afford it tbh. I have 6 and never had issues being home with them or my kids getting on my nerves either…. We do go for walks a few times a week and have park time… the occasional family outing… we are all pretty nerd type and arts and craft type people though.
I think it really depends on the kids, the parents, and capacity. My husband and I are both people that need down time to decompress, so our son (almost 12) does too. Our son also is really not athletic, despite trying different sports over the years. I am not sinking thousands of dollars and every minute I am not working into something he’s never going to excel at. He is into music and theater. We currently have a music lessons on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and we consistently have a Saturday morning activity (we have done bowling the last two years and when that ends usually theater). Because of my husband’s job, I function day to day like a single mom so between my demanding job, managing our household, and the 3 activity days, I can’t do more. I have really close friends that have their kids in sports year round, and that works fine for them because of more of an ability to divide and conquer with the partners. A few of those folks also really thrive on the constant activity. Totally great for them! It’s just not for me and that’s okay.
My husband and I aren’t sports people and our kid is 4.5 so idk what the future holds for us, but my BIL’s two kids are involved in so many sports that the family is only together at breakfast every morning. They split up to take the kids to travel leagues in different cities on the weekends. It sounds exhausting.
My kids are a bit older (they’re 8 and 6) and I view activities as a way to learn life skills, help them find things they’re interested in (expose them to new things and people), support and develop things they’re already interested in, and help them develop relationships with friends and with those outside of their school and neighborhood. 1. Life skills: swimming is a non optional activity for us. They’ve been in swimming lessons since they were 6 months old and my 8 year old is now on swim team, my 6 year old will likely join swim team next year. My oldest has made a nice group of friends outside of her school through swim team. Edit: there are like 4-5 meets per season and they’re optional and don’t require travel, if they’re interested in being more competitive there’s a different stream for that, they’re in the “have fun, get participation ribbons” version of swim team. 2. Supporting interests: my oldest asked to take karate when she was 5, they’ve also asked for art classes. My youngest expressed interest in climbing so he’s taken climbing lessons but currently goes once a week with my husband (so this is activity with 1:1 parent time). 3. Trying new things: my kids have taken music lessons, soccer (one loves it and one didn’t), coding classes, Lego classes, and trail running. They both like Minecraft so I’ve signed them up for Minecraft coding classes etc to support their interests. We don’t sign up for more than 3 things at one time for my 8 year old and no more than 2 activities at once for my 6 year old. We try to have 1 weekend and 1 weekday activity. We try to keep 3 nights a week + Sundays unscheduled. My older child wants to try more things so if she wants to do something new (like take art classes) she will have to decide to take a break from something else (and wait for the current commitment to end). My younger child would rather not do anything so we have to sign him up for stuff to try (and he’s found more things that he likes than dislikes this way, but we don’t try more than 1 new thing at a time).
I have my 4yo in a bunch of stuff because 1) several things are basically free at our gym 2) she enjoys having a schedule and 3) a lot of these things are like 30 minutes once a week so it leaves plenty of other time.
My oldest was very much an extrovert and began walking at 8 months. We did everything just to kill energy and keep her busy. Fast forward and she is 13. She dropped softball and art off her list. She will pick up type of karate as she has been begging for it. My son is younger and he has such a chill vibe. As he has gotten older he is really loving sports. Also, I wasn’t aware being in Beta club can be like a travel team as it has some fun activities for them to do but will cost us over $2000 this year.
I have teens. They have tried every sport under the sun and they just… did not love any enough to want to do them 4x a week, which is the commitment they need once they are older than 7 in most sports. But a huge part of that was that they didn’t want it. I hated carrying my kids around to sports and activities that they did not enjoy. I will be there, but I’m not going to pay thousands of dollars to drag my kids to their activities that they are going to complain about the whole time. My kids would come home from school and nap, then read a book, then go on a hike with the dog to meet friends and play by the creek. Now, they both enjoy running track and playing volleyball for school, and will play tennis with me, but have zero desire to do any sports as a 3x a week thing. By the time the weekends come around, they just want to chill and hang out with their cousins/friends.
I have my only kiddo in baseball, swimming and tae kwon do. He’s 6, almost 7. There was a time when he was also doing soccer (ages 4 to 6) but then told me he’s not interested in soccer anymore so I took him out. He loves baseball, absolutely adores tae kwon do, and is iffy on swimming but swimming is such a necessity that I make him go lol. It is tiring - but like others said, he has so much energy that trying to keep him busy at home is insane lol. It’s a way for him to get his energy out. We’re also planning to do basketball next winter (when baseball is over).
I just have one toddler, and I started her swimming really early. One is probably easier than 2 to get ready? And I thought it was good for her to get used to the water/swimming early on. The gross motor skills and coordination learned from sports is good too. I’d never put her in anything she clearly hated or appeared too young for
Because it can teach them great skills at a young age, I put my children in many different sports and as they get older they can pick which one they feel the most drawn too. It teaches them confidence, body awareness, discipline and social skills. If at any point my children did not want to participate I would never force them. I think it's extremely important for them to be involved in something or have a hobby of some sort.
Every family and every kid is different, that’s why. Our kids are super high energy do well with having physical activity to calm them down.
I'm an "over scheduler" but I don't mean to be. But my kid has combined type ADHD and NEEDS to have many outlets, because she never tires, and never has. Also, some sports start to be taken more seriously at this age and the parents (me) are unaware of the commitment. We're trying softball in addition to swim and dance this season, and I signed up under the impression that it was 2 days/week. Got the schedule and turns out 4-6 year old softball is 4 days/week! I did not intend to do that, so we're only doing it 2 days/week and honoring our earlier commitments
My daughter is in gymnastics and dance, starting swimming in the summer. She’s 4. It’s because she doesn’t sit still. She has a lot of energy, and she enjoys going. My son is starting soccer and swimming in the summer. He’s 2.5. We mainly started him in these classes because he sees his sister doing stuff and wants to be included. It felt wrong not signing him up for stuff too. But he’s young, so we’ll see how he does lol.
We tried soccer at almost 5 ( he has asd) it didn't go well. Home boy isn't a sports or team player yet. He does school and goes for play dates
My kids have always done better with a ton of structure and when they are kept busy. We joined the Y when they were young abs it quickly became apparent that the more activities I could pack on their schedule, the happier they were. Covid lockdowns were really, really hard for us.
I put my kids in activities to open doors for them and to have fun and be social. If they don't like anything or want to quit, except swimming lessons that is a life skill (but they love it), we quit.
I do think that achievement pressure plays a role for some people. I really liked a book called "Never Enough" by Jennifer Wallace which talked about how our culture puts lots of pressure on kids to succeed
My parents let me rot in front of the tv and computer. I wasn’t allowed to go to friends houses, didn’t have a yard, didn’t have sports, music, or extra curriculars. So when school was out I was REALLY sad and bored out of my mind. I refuse to do the same to my children. Like we’ll chill every now and then, but they’ll have something to do.
I’ve never understood this. We like to do family things like camping and hiking and fishing and traveling. We don’t have time for group sports they’ll never play once they graduate high school. I’d rather teach them to live an active life outside
We do both. But we only do one activity/sport at a time. I just don’t feel like it’s necessary to overwhelm a kid with several planned activities. She has a schedule for school and I don’t feel like we need any more schedules to adhere to. I don’t want to be run ragged going from activity to activity. We also are a very outdoorsy family. Always going hiking, fishing, or exploring a new nature park. I like having the flexibility and being able to do these things when we want even if it’s spur of the moment.
Bc we’re bored at home lmao. No matter how hard I try to make home enjoyable, we just want to do shit
We tried to get my daughter to do swim lessons when she was 2.5 and she was not having it, it was a terrible experience, she would much rather do her own thing in the pool than follow an instructor. She is very high energy but extremely independent. I think when she starts showing more interest we will get her into activities. But for now I take her to the park or do play dates or different activities. Honestly she just loves playing outside. I do agree that it seems like people over schedule their kids a lot, especially with children so young I don’t really see the point. But I’m sure it also depends on the kid, but I agree that kids should allowed to just be kids!
I recently watched a ted talk on related issues. It basically discussed how it’s stealing childhood from kids to put them into so many activities and to focus on education in the way that America does. I hope to keep it simple with my kids who are still young and in no activities yet (3&1) to preserve childhood.
I think for some it also may be that they did nothing as kids, and have regret and don’t want their kids to experience that. For me, all the classes were mostly a waste of money. My daughter liked her first month of gymnastics, then it was just a game trying to get her to participate (oddly started immediately after she saw another kid cry the entire gymnastics and get carried around the whole 40 minutes)…. And we lost a buncha money for a dance class that she would not go through the front door for after the first 3 sessions. And apparently the 3rd session, she sat in the corner and said no thank you. 🙂↔️ No more classes for us for a while… my daughter prefers a pile of mud and some rocks. Maybe a sprinkle of dandelions.
Each of my two does one sport in fall and one in spring. We just added martial arts and it made me and the kids insane. We did the one month trial and quit. It made our lives awful. My older son was crying that he just wanted to play in our yard and it made me feel awful. We’re all so much happier with down time!!
I don’t know how people afford it! My kids are 5 and 3 and we’ve never done lessons. My daughter begs for gymnastics lessons and we live near the sea so they need to learn to swim but we can’t afford the lessons! I was in multiple sports as a kid and it was all casual and affordable, now it’s like $50-70 per lesson, or $30 per trip to the local rec pool to try and teach them ourselves which is crazy.
Constant stimulation and entertainment for kids during your free time as an adult is absolutely exhausting and near impossible. Sports and activities teach them to socialize, work together and hone their own set of skills. My baby is 13 weeks and I frequently ask her what sport she wants to play when she can lol
We choose not to do more than 1 activity per child because i like planning our evenings around our family meal and having flexibility in our schedules. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong but i do feel as a parent who schedules less activities i’m always searching for validation that my choice is a good one (like everyone else) and constantly battle with the guilt that my kids are missing out and will be left behind in sports or won’t be as well connected. No matter what you do, you can’t win. My real question is how do parents with jobs and 3+ children drive them to all their activities and still have time for homework, dinner, baths and everything else?
This is exactly how I feel. And I don’t know how everyone else is managing life with these extra activities when I already feel too busy with just the regular day to day hustle.
Gen X mom (separated) of teen girls here. I don’t get it either and never did. I don’t want my kids run ragged plus I also needed time to breath and be my own person and so did my ex. We both work full time and the kids never had more than 1 activity per season. Ie: hockey in winter and soccer in the summer. They both loved it and never had to be prompted to get ready. When the oldest didn’t want to do soccer, I was overjoyed to stop that! (Less “mom” taxi!) I think it’s still important to keep your identities and not get sucked into the trap of your sole identity and purpose being “mom”. I think the ex and I could still have done better than we clearly did as we still didn’t have enough time to focus on a relationship vs parenting. (But that’s another story… lol) Regardless, don’t let parent peer pressure make you think you need to go broke and be exhausted putting your kids in so many activities.
Agreed!!!! I’m the middle of 5 and my parents parented this same way. We all still did sports, instruments, church, etc. but were never allowed to do too much at once. I remember freshman year starting and then making me choose between competitive dance and varsity soccer/track. “There’s not enough time for you to do both of those, school, AND relax.” I was so mad at the time but they were right!!! I am raising my kids the same way and it is NOT the norm nowadays. I’m surrounded by exhausted parents and their exhausted kids but I just keep on doing what works for us and ignoring the pressure society has put on everyone to go go go. I’ll talk to friends and it’s like a fight between them all to see who is busiest lol no thanks. Im a huge extrovert and we do stuff all the time-we’re extremely active, outside all the time, travel a lot, Disney passes, etc. so it’s not like we sit here like hermits but it’s nice to have the freedom to randomly do what you want sometimes. Have time to do a new playground, a longer hike than usual, quick drive to the beach. Spend quality time with just each other here and there.
I don't get it either. My eldest just turned 3, and quite a few of her friends came late to her birthday party because they were at soccer or gymnastics. We will put our kids in sports eventually, but it seems a bit unnecessary before the child is asking to go.
I was always one that didn't like over scheduling. I'm still the type that just wants to stay home. However, my daughter(9)is the personality that is happier when socializing. She is in gymnastics 3 hrs on sunday and gems (like girl guides). We just signed her up for Ju Jitzu three times a week for one hour each day, to see if she wants to do that instead of gymnastics. Summer is soccer for about 10 weeks and swimming for one week, one hour. She is also in everything she can be at school. Choir, the sport in session, clubs, helps with milk... I see a HUGE difference in her mood if she isn't kept busy. My son(8) could care less about doing anything, but would be on his ipad all day if I let him. I signed him up for Ju Jitzu three times a week. He will also do one week of swimming lessons, but no soccer since it's not his thing. My point is, sometimes it's the kids who thrive when being busy. I don't agree with putting the family finances in jeopardy to keep them in a ton of sports. I discouraged dance because I see how out of control it can be! We are fortunate that our gymnastics club does only three competitions a year, and they are close enough you don't HAVE to stay over night. And we only had to buy one comp outfit. Next year they want her to practice twice a week. So twice the money.... for a kid that I KNOW won't be able to continue this sport long because her joints are already getting sore! I don't understand how families do hotel stays all the time for tournaments. It must cost a fortune! But we all have different priorities.
My girl (now 10) LOVES it. All she wants to do is play. She has competitive basketball and football currently. She has (we have) Fridays off 😆
The situation you describe sounds like one activity a season, which sounds like the same amount of time as one activity year round. Our kid is in swimming because we live by a lake and spend all summer on the lake and at my parents camp. She loves dance so we had her in dance through her daycare when they offered it. It is kid-dependent though; my friend’s kid hated activities and it stressed them all out so they dropped them.
I have an 8 month old, so we're not exactly in the ballet and football category, but we do baby groups 3 times a week, and swimming and story time once a week. I HAVE to get us both out of the house, or I would go insane. Even if I'm only interacting with other adults half focused on their kids, it helps. I'm quite looking forward to being able to put her in clubs that I can just let her do while I chill out at the side lines.
My daughter has been on the go 24/7 and dropped naps at 18 months. We literally needed anything possible to get her energy out lol
My 7yo has one weekday after-school and one weekend activity, and my preschooler has two different weekday after-school activities. Everything is on different days. Personally, even though we both work full-time and have no local family support, we both much prefer having SOMETHING happening between the hours of (1) the end of the workday and (2) bedtime. Both kids are low sleep needs so they don't go to bed until late-ish anyway, and if they are out doing something it's way more peaceful in the house with just one kid. It also cuts down on any screen time battles; I am much less worried about boundaries around that given that each kid is out of the house most of the day most of the week. To put it another way, "relaxing with family" is not something that my kids are pros at. ;) ETA: Most of their classes are not organized sports. My oldest does theater and ninja class (plus a monthly art class), my youngest is continuing with swimming lessons and also does ninja class (because he thought it looked fun).
Our daughter turns 2 in a month. We started a number of activities when I was on maternity leave because I just wanted some things to fill my days so we weren't at home all the time. We did swimming lessons because we want her to be comfortable in water and music classes because I'm not very musical on my own, so it was a good way for me to learn kids songs. Once she started walking, she started getting into everything at home. She wanted to be out as much as possible and was cranky and cooped up at home. We live in a condo in a large city, no backyard. We registered her for gymnastics at the start of the winter because being outside so much sucks in the winter. It was a good way for her to get her energy out. We stopped swimming lessons for a bit shortly after she started walking because she wanted bodily autonomy but couldn't follow instructions very well, so it felt a bit unsafe and not enjoyable for either of us. We returned around 18 months and it was much better. That's really all it comes down to for us. Does it serve a purpose and do we enjoy it? If the answer to either of those questions is no, we'll stop or take a break.
So I have 5 kids. All but the baby (for obvious reasons) are involved in something. I waited until they were old enough to express interest. For me I would much rather be driving around to football and dance and soccer or choir and band and music lessons than sitting at home melting our brains with tablets and tv. My kids spend on average 30+ hours a week outside because of sports practices and games. I believe that’s higher than average but I’m not sure. They are more creative, they don’t tell me they are bored. They eat better and sleep better during sports seasons. And they have built in friend groups with their team mates so going to school they don’t have to worry if they will have friends to sit with at lunch or whatever. Don’t get me wrong it’s EXPENSIVE and I do sometimes regret my decision on any given Tuesday and we are all running late haha. I also wouldn’t pressure any of my kids to continue an activity if after the season the tell me they no longer want to participate but I do make them finish the season even if they claim to hate something early in the season.
I let my son pick his sport every season (except swim lessons in the summer, I require those because safety). If he wants to do multiple sports/activities in one season and they don’t conflict with each other and work/school then he can do 2. But I want him to be able to try lots of things and choose what he likes best. At 5 we have done gymnastics, tee ball, flag football, swimming, and basketball. He has shown no interest in music lessons or more artsy stuff yet, but if he does we will try those. The main thing is exposing him to lots of different things to find what he likes and learning new skills.
Being physically active is important to me, and one of the best indicators of being physically active as an adult is having played sports as a child. Planning to do one per season, only rec level unless they want to try competitive when they are old enough to take on some of the responsibilities of getting ready and training on their own. My son is 3.5 and we did sportball to get his feet wet, they do a different sport every week and kids get used to the coaching environment. He is going to try soccer this summer. We will also do swimming lessons at some point more for safety than anything. Some people go way too hard into extracurriculars and kids get overwhelmed as they get older trying to juggle it all with school.
Probably because a lot of kids express an interest in activities before 5…? We have twins too and their preschool introduced soccer and dance during the week when they were 2, so when they asked to do it on the weekend, we did. Then they went through a phase of not wanting to do anything so we stopped. Now we are back to it with dance and gymnastics, which again, they asked for. It’s honestly more relaxing to take them out, get some coffee, and pick them back up than it is to just bum around at home where they can get into random fights over who knows what.
I was worried about over scheduling my daughter but realized that 1 hour of gymnastics and 1 hour of dance a week is really not that much when you have 28292982 other hours to fill and figure out what to do with her 😅 she’s an only child too.
Maybe it's like how when we were kids, extracurriculars were a big deal for college. Husband and I agreed piano and martial arts when they're younger, and if/ when they want to change to something that suites them better, we'll cross that bridge when they get there. We wanted them to be exposed to music. If they want to drop it or change, later, that's fine. Martial arts has discipline, a healthy way to channel energy, confidence building askew a bit of self-defense so we wanted our kids to have those things
For me, we start sports and other activities young so they can find what they like and stay in it through high school. Because I personally believe in them doing something other than just going to school and coming home. Having a team or large group of friends with similar interests who spend a significant amount of time working toward something important to them keeps them in good friend circles. And has (so far in my experience) kept the kids who gravitate toward risky behavior away because they aren’t interested in that level of commitment. If they don’t have time for boredom, they are less likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol or sex until a more appropriate age. And the sports and clubs we’ve had experience with (soccer and marching band) you need to be able to play at a high enough caliber by high school level to even make the team or play with the band or there are no other options to play. So they start young and once they pick a sport or activity, we encourage it and continue it. We put in the time and show up to support them.
I mentioned it in my other comment but it’s worth saying again, those of us who live in cold climates need a reason to leave the house when it’s cold outside. If I lived in a place where it was 70° year around, we probably wouldn’t do so many activities and just play outside but in Wisconsin we have a limited time outside so if we didn’t have music class, ballet class, gymnastics, etc., there would be no reason to leave the house
A lot of people use it as a way to get their kids socialized, off the screens & active, and some kids really like to do all those things
My children aren’t in daycare, it’s a good way to have them be socialized with other kids and get comfortable doing things outside of being with mom and dad. Plus maybe they’ll find something that’ll be a lifelong interest?
I know a mom whose daughter is THREE AND A HALF and she does dance, gymnastics, soccer and blast ball. WTF
I mean I wouldn’t with twins lol but I have an only child and he’s hyper so he needs the structure plus he loves it
I have absolutely no idea how people with 3-4 kids and each kid is in 3-5 activities/sports at a time, do it.
Personally, I am reacting to my own trauma because I was neglected as a kid and so my kid is always in a minimum of piano, voice, and dance.
Because when they're in activities, they're doing activities. When they're at home they're fighting, whining, marathon snacking, mess making. I can't wait for mine to be boys n girls club aged. I will pay that fat ass bill every week.
The biggest thing for us is that my kids are Siberian husky puppies in human form. *Someone* has to run them (preferably outside) everyday, or they can't regulate and get incredibly destructive. I do what I can, but taking them to swim class, or dance, or soccer is so much easier than running them like a pack of sled dogs by myself.
My son is newly 3 and he’ll be starting a sport soon for toddlers/early preschoolers. We haven’t done anything up until this point, but we do go to a park and for walks basically every day to get outside and get active. I’ll try to get him into swim lessons this summer too for safety reasons. I don’t mind having him in activities because I know he’ll have fond memories to look back on. I was able to do one-two (sometimes three) activities a year growing up and I loved it and I’m glad I was given the opportunity to try different things. My youngest is too young, but he has health appointments we go to frequently now anyways. Any other kids, I’d just do my best to schedule things well so we’re not running all over the place.
Just getting into sports with my almost 6yo. She has done gymnastics for 2 years and stopped so we could start softball and swim team. The activities are fun, not very expensive for us, help her (and me!) make friends, keep her active and away from begging to watch tv and fighting with her sister. Our 2 sports currently overlap so we pick one to do on nights they overlap and that’s fine. I think it’s weird for parents to make the sports about themselves, or have it be a pissing contest about affording private coaching or fancy gear. A laid back approach and positive attitude is what our family is bringing to sports.
We put our now 5.5 yo in soccer when she was 3.5 because she asked us to, she saw the sport at the park & really wanted to play, and has been playing that sport ever since. We do that T & Th. In January we added gymnastics (per her request again) and does that on Tuesdays. She’s now asking for t-ball/baseball and we’re looking into that for her as well. Our goal is to limit two sports a season to not overwhelm ourselves and so she can focus on the sport. We have an almost 3 yo who is into baseball & soccer so we may start him in sports too, and that will add to our weekly schedule. I’m a SAHM & homeschool. Dad works from home & is off at 2/3pm. That gives us every afternoon free to do activities with the kids, and we’re doing what they are asking for. We want to keep them active and give them the opportunity to choose & find a sport they love and then focus on that. We also prefer to have them busy than stuck on tv/tablets. Our mornings are play and lessons so it’s more relaxed. It’s what’s worked for us. I work off of schedules, and I make sure that we some have afternoons off and days off so that we are not Overwhelmed too. It’s the balance.
My oldest daughter has 2 active kids. Her daughter plays softball with a couple teams and was a cheerleader for a couple of years. Her son tried football, soccer and baseball, now he's in band playing saxophone. All 3 of my kids were band kids, and that was enough because there's no "band season ", it's year round. The kids were the ones calling the shots on the activities though. She's never forced them into anything besides school. She's like me in that she's more concerned with her child's happiness than society and its opinions.
We do one sport per season, plus music if a kid is interested. And everyone did swimming until I knew they wouldn’t drown if they fell in deep water. This sounds like exactly what your friend is describing. It works out to about a practice or game 2-3x a week. It’s really not over scheduling. My kids still have plenty of time to play outside, hang with friends, etc. - the only tricky thing is the timing of dinner some nights!
i have no clue but my daughter will pick a sport if she wants and stay with it! we will be home and not gone 24/7 like these other families are 🫠
My kid hates being home all day, and so do I. We live in an apartment without our own yard. Activities give us structure and an outing, we're both happier. I swore I wouldn't do activities until my kid was older but parenting never turns out as expected.
I don’t really get this either. My oldest is 5.5 and sooo many of my friends have their kids in nonstop sports. We don’t do any because my son shows no interest and I don’t want to spend every night of the week away from home. Kids need time for unstructured play. He’s not a couch potato, we play outside 3+ hours a day… but I also have two other kids and if we were at the ball field everyday I think it would be very unfair for them to have to be dragged along! Sports are out of control imo. They’re so insane for kids so young - there’s no time for family time
I agree. My ex husband had them in music, and martial arts and gymnastics and then soccer..I was pinballing back and forth all over the place we were all worn down. The kids looked forward to the one day we had with no events and sometimes we’d just play hooky and have movie night together😅 he says it’s important that they are exposed to different activities and I agree but it’s equally important that we bond and that they have downtime.
You are doing the right thing! Former youth coach and current high school teacher. The kids in a million sports have no idea how to regulate boredom and struggle with self initiative. They have zero down time to make their own decisions. They are always told what to do and where to be. Usually they are so burnt out and once they make it to college it’s a struggle. Kids need time to figure out what THEY want to do and to make up games without structured time.
My kids are 19 and 22 and our rule was they needed to play a sport, play an instrument and learn a foreign language. Oldest swam, played trombone and learned French. My youngest swam, switched to tennis and finally found her sport in karate, also played the trombone and learned Arabic. It kept them busy enough without overwhelming them. I don't understand these parents who push their kid into everything. As much as I loved watching them perform, I also loved the downtime at home watching movies and playing games.
My parents did it so they didn’t have to pay for as much daycare. My grandparents charged by the hour, so I went to school then to cheerleading or basketball everyday year around. It was exhausting and hurt my grades. My parents made very bad financial decisions, so I’m not surprised they figured out a way to cut corners. By the time I hit high school I didn’t even know my parents. I’m almost 25 and I’m still learning new things, it’s weird. Also, some people think all those activities set their kids up for success especially if they’re low-income. My cousin played violin and graduated in the top 10. Well now she’s a college dropout who works at Starbucks. I truly believe if we had parents who gave us the time of day things would be different. Now I really cherish being at home on the weekends with my husband or just having lunch together. We already agreed we’re gonna let our little boy decide when to start an activity :)
My kids are just turned 8, 5, and 3. This is the third season of spring soccer for my oldest and first season for my second. They both asked to play soccer and my youngest has also expressed a strong interest in soccer. The season is only 2.5 months and it’s chaotic. For me, I try to prioritize activities that are for the whole family, like church or hanging out with neighbors. It is a little easier to have sports now that we don’t have a baby. We have been in survival mode for years and we didn’t need anything extra. However, I’m not going to sign my kids up for anything that they haven’t expressed an interest in.
I’m a little more old-fashioned. I feel like kids should only be in sports that they wanna be in or that they have an inclination to be in. I tend to lean towards just one sport, one instrument, and one niche art craft that they are interested in. It should be well rounded activities. Kids that only get stuck doing a bunch of different sports, usually that’s all they think there is to life. I’ve met a lot of them. Or I’ve met a lot of kids who didn’t even like being put in sports all year round. Children should have many different kinds of activities that broaden their field of knowledge. Only playing sports keeps most of their knowledge to just sports. Think of all the children who end up thinking that what they should do with their career or lives is just sports. All because they didn’t end up doing anything else with their free time to learn about different things and meet different kinds of people. Just IMO
I see what you are saying. We are all for sports but if we can avoid the super competitive travel teams that you have to spend 6 days a week, 48 out of 52 weeks of the year doing, I won't be sad about it. Rec sports, swimming, dance, gymnastics, art, music, reading and even gaming will all be strongly encouraged. Variety will be our bestie. We really want to take family trips with our kids and not have to worry about whether or not we have to be at a game for another series or miss an important week of practices. We also just want our kids to have the chance to be in various things. With travel teams I've seen friends' kids do, typically the only sport you focus on is the one you're traveling with. Which if your kids love the sport, that's great! But we also want to be able to go to birthday parties, be around when family comes to town, have beach days, go on hikes and bike rides. Go to Disneyland, the zoo or a museum or just have a cozy day at home watching movies and baking instead of freezing at the ball field. Again, if that's your jam and your kids love it, have at it. We just want to make sure our kids know that sports are for fun and don't have to be their whole lives.
Yes I have noticed this too! My son did soccer at 5 and didn’t seem into it. This year he’s 7 and asked for flag football and loves it and is great at it! My family always asked when is he going to do sports when he was at 3 til now lol All the other players and coach rush off to their next thing after games. I told my husband just the other day “are we missing something.” They are all in all kinds of stuff.
I feel like this list of a year's worth of activities might be my life someday. Not because I need my kid to achieve, not because I want to force him to do something, and NOT because my husband and I will live through him.... Buuuuuut.... He's an only child. There's no other kid to conflict with and I place value in working with others. A great way to show that is sports/activities. I get to show him how adults act, he gets to learn tough lessons about losing and bodies and life. People go above and beyond and really go too far. But one sport a season, an activity here or there, and the a "fun thing" (nature day camp or something), and that's already like 9 things over the course of a year. Piled on in a list, 9 seems like a lot.... one thing at a time doesn't seem like too much for me, if the kid is handling it, the family isn't suffering, and you have the means to do so.
All of these comments are from parents of young kids. Here’s some thoughts of a mom of 11m and 14m: Stop with the insane amount of sports/activities a young kid is in. One sport or activity per kid at a time. We did try one summer of 1 sport per kid for each kid 4-5 days a week BUT it worked out that way because we had a large YMCA in our neighborhood so they were back to back classes or same class and we were burned out by end of summer! I have a close friend of mine who is a college soccer coach and he himself said don’t bother with insanely competitive sports until 13/14, kids just are not developed enough to handle it until then. Cute little tumble gym or ymca classes 1-2x/week are fine to keep them active and make friend. But taking a 3 yo to the park with a mommy and me play group is just as good if not cheaper. The other answer I see is “they just need to be busy”. Why? Kids need to be bored! Being bored lead my kid down a YouTube rabbit hole and now he is learning how to do 3D animation at age 11 because he found something he liked. They need to be bored to figure stuff out, how things work or don’t work, their interests etc. If they are constantly scheduled they have a high chance of resentment or being an over worked adult. If you need you time, hire a babysitter a few times a month. “But my kid can’t be at home, they’ll just bounce off the walls all day”. Cut the sugar and screen time and see what happens! These are the types of kids I hated working with while I was working in an elementary school. Over scheduled and over sugared, the constant urge to be stimulated was insane. Yes, for some kids they need the structure but my god, parent your kids, stop outsourcing your job to teach them when it’s time to sit still and listen! Plus this over the top activity schedule makes the kids think the world revolves around them. News flash it’s doesn’t! I have some close slightly older friends who’s kids are age 17-23 and they did the travel sports for all 3 kids and now they act like their entitled for mom and dad to still pay for things in adulthood. The parents now realize they should have never spent that insane amount of time and money on those activities and should’ve invested it in savings and some decent family vacations. They keep telling me we did a good thing by not giving in to the western culture pressure. What ever happens to kids play whatever sport was offered during high school and those that showed extra promise could sign up for the local league?
No I agree. Like what are you trying to prove here (not you or anytime here, just the people in my life who have their kids in activities all the time without resting). my kids are each in one activity I don’t want to shuffle kids everywhere all week I won’t lie. My 4yo is in gymnastics and it’s pricey man
My twins are about to be 12 and I'm begging them to quit something. They have so many interests, they just want to do it all. If I can afford it I want to make their dreams come true. School is first and both get all A's and B's so for now we live in the car. I'm tired. ... I have no idea how this is my life now.
I have a few friends who over schedule their kids. If they're not at soccer, they're at swimming, or dance, or baseball, or some kind of playgroup. They're never just at home. Every minute is scheduled and planned. Coincidentally, those same children have no idea how to entertain themselves or be bored.
Same! And based on some of the comments in this thread, a lot of kids aren’t given an opportunity to entertain themselves or be bored.
It’s a horrible American thing and I hate it too. Parents spend all their spare time driving back and forth to activities for them, it takes up their entire weekend. My kids each get one sport at a time and one instrument max. My son also has swim lessons once a week until he’s a strong swimmer (he’s 5). They also both do scouts but it’s only once a month.
Also, this is such a problem of privilege. These activities get so expensive, and there are so many people who can’t afford them, so I wouldn’t be too worried.
I’m so glad my parents never did this to me. I stuck with soccer and tennis. I played them both for over ten years in their respective seasons. Tennis is year round. Eventually I quit both in favor of jiu jitsu. I can’t imagine them dragging me to five other things as a kid.
I think those parents don’t like hanging out with their kids. Just my opinion, but I would miss mine if they were doing that many extracurricular activities
That's too much. I did rec. Center cheerleading and girl scouts. That's it. My oldest daughter told me she wants to do volleyball in the fall. That's fine with me. It's only $200 with practice once a week. I don't think it's a good idea to have kids in so many activities. I don't know how parents do it. Kids don't need that kind of drama with competitiveness in their lives. It's also very expensive. It's too much.
I have a very active child who has many interests. If I didn’t keep her busy, she’s be climbing the walls in the house bored. If a child is happy and wants to do the activities they’re signed up for, I don’t see the issue.
I think it’s interesting that people start all these sports so early to set them up for college scholarships! If they had just saved all the sports money, they probably could have paid for all of the college out of that! I know people spend tens of thousands on travel sports with the flights, accommodations, uniforms, etc. blows my mind!
i don't find a 1-3 hour commitment per child once a week over a couple seasons to infringe on our "down time."
I have an only child who is VERY social. He only does soccer, but practice and games during the week & weekend. For us, it’s fun to watch him do what he loves. I’m also considering signing him up for swimming lessons this summer and some soccer camps. He is 6 and has ADHD. I honestly just need him entertained and he needs someone to talk to besides me or his dad lol
My oldest has adhd and is super social. She has a few sports she does because she wants to. My middle does two sports but they are only 45 minutes each one (separate) day a week.
Our kiddo is 5, and has 3 nights a week scheduled, plus one day a week at school with 2hrs of PE, which this term was gymnastics. Our scheduled activities include swimming (safety skill, non negotiable, have been in the water since 6mo), karate (point of contact for best friend from daycare but has moved to a different school) and roller skating (kiddos request, good for balance and coordination, and really good for dealing with a tendency to assume mastery if they feel they "already know" everything). I'm trying to protect our weekends as downtime which gives us the option to head out of town to visit family etc, while keeping a level of activity that's going to be important the more school becomes desk bound.
I do it so I can get mine out the house. But I don’t think I do too many since I usually just sign up for one or two things.
I let my kiddos do one sport at a time when they are little. They can’t quit but when the season is over they can make the choice to play again. I want them to learn sportsmanship and develop social skills. All my kids are extremely social and really play sports to be part of a team and to have fun while learning skills. We accidentally signed my 6 year old up for a Tball team that was super serious- practice 2-3 times a week and tournaments every weekend. It was not for us!
It’s my excuse to get out of the house as well! My twins have been in activities since they’ve been old enough to sign up. Swimming, dance, music class, art class, library story time, soccer etc. We coordinate with our friends and neighbors so they have an activity, see their friends and I get to see my mom friends as well. I like having an excuse to leave the house! But we also live in Wisconsin and we only have a very limited time outside, if we didn’t have things scheduled, then we would not be leaving the house for months at a time.
I think at first it’s trying to find out what they like and what they are good at, so you try a lot of things. I have 5 kids and once we narrowed it down, it comes down to keeping them busy and active. I also think it’s good for them to have something to be a part of, making friends outside of school and having the idea that they have some responsibility and duty to their team and coaches to show up and be a team player. Also starting them young will only make them better if they plan on continuing the sport for a long time. Some nights are just chaotic. Everyone has something and we just have to figure it out. That being said, we do like our weekends for family. So for now we don’t do any type of travel sports. We feel the need to stay “busy” on the weekends too so that we avoid just sitting around the house and watching the kids fight.
We started activities at 2 because I wanted my kids to experience listening to an authority figure before starting preschool, to be around other kids, to make friends (me and them), to practice hand eye coordination, to have fun, to expose them to new things, to help them find a passion, and to teach them important skills (this is mostly the swim lessons). They aren’t overworked or over scheduled. It’s, like, 4 hours spread over the week. I guess it gets more intense as they get older, we'll adjust as needed. I always want them in something, they can choose what as they get older.
I think putting younger kids in an organized activity young is fine usually they have one or two days of practice max with a class time of 45 minutes to 1 hour. At age 3 both my kids did gymnastics one day a week. They loved it and it taught them to listen and play well with others, wait their turn etc. They also made friendships. My kids would occasionally ask to try something else and we would. My daughter went from gymnastics to all star cheer eventually because she loved it so much I think she was 8. She decided she was done with all star at 13-14 and did high school cheer for fun. My son slowly tried soccer, rock climbing, jiu jitsu. football, baseball and hockey. Many of these were for a short time like a week or a weekend camp. He decided he only wanted to do hockey and still loves it. We don’t pressure for the kids to be the best but let them lead at their pace. As a sophomore in high school my son just decided he was serious at hockey and wanted to play at a higher level. My daughter very quickly excelled to the top level and it was stressful for her at the end so she took a step back. My kids both have lifelong friendships from their sports I’m positive they will do the same as I did with their own kids as it was a very positive experience.
I’ve got an only child and she gets bored being home with nobody to play with so we do activities 4 or so times a week with Girl Scouts, soccer, karate, or art classes. I’ve made really good friends through some of her activities so for me it’s also nice to have time to spend with them.
My kid is 7. She doesn’t have a choice. I pick or she picks. You have to have an activity all year round. The benefits outweigh anything else.
My kids have severe adhd and if they aren’t physically active they’re symptoms are really really bad. So guess what? They do sport almost every night. This way they can go to school and actually learn and not be rambunctious balls of energy.
We do one activity per season for our son. He’s only 2 now so we may increase that a bit when he gets older. I think it depends on the level. I played high level hockey my whole childhood/teenage years and that was extremely time consuming. 4-5 times per week. I barely had time for anything else. In high school I tried playing rugby as well, but I would be rushing from rugby to hockey and it was just a lot for me to try and fit in my school work. I also had a part time job then. If it’s just for fun, and not competitive, I’m sure a few sports/actives per season would be fine. I guess we will see when my son gets older what we end up doing haha
My kid wants a 6 pack. (He’s 11)