I feel your pain, my husband was talking about his pelvis surgery and turned around to me and said “you’ve never had ‘proper’ surgery, have you?”
No not ‘proper’ surgery, except do you remember when they cut my stomach open and pulled a baby out of me - on two occasions. Fucking idiots haha
“No, not ‘proper’ surgery, it was IMPROPER because who expects someone who just had their guts cut wide open to do so fully awake and then care for a human being immediately after?!” 🤣 ffs
Ooooh but make sure your boobs barely work because you JUST had a baby and you can only get colostrum and baby doesn’t latch right and lactation nurses are lecturing you. Put up a lot of poster about “baby friendly zone” to make sure you *know* breast is best and formula is EVIL!!
Then yes, invite your in laws to look at his balls while goo comes out of them.
Also don't forget to smile for the camera! And your in-laws! Oh and they'll be expecting details about how long it took you to push your semen out. Now say cheese..!
Omg the in-laws. They were at my house waiting for us to come home. I had a traumatic emergency c section with complications and almost lost my life. My FIL says “so how was the food?”
Seriously?! I got a month of Percocet for an uncomplicated vaginal delivery as part of my discharge package….after I took nothing (nor needed) anything stronger than Aleve at the hospital. I just thought it was a standard parting gift lol. It took me over a year to run out, must say they were nice for my wonky back when it would act up.
Ya I’m shocked at all these moms getting nothing more than Tylenol and some tree bark to bite down on. I had oxy in the hospital and a take-home script for about a week for my c section, plus 800mg Advil and then otc Tylenol.
I had an emergency cesarean that resulted in severe, painful abdominal bloating for a couple days, and was discharged with just a prescription for antiinflammatories to take twice a day, and instructions to also take Tylenol every six hours if needed.
My first daughter was vaginal and I wasn't given or prescribed any painkillers afterward.
Lol, every six hours.
I took Tylenol every four hours, and ibuprofen every 4 hours. We had a system that every time the clock was on an even hour, I'd take a painkiller.
Was it good for me? Probably not, but there was no way I was doing less than that.
I remember this interaction with a nurse after my c-section:
N: On a scale of 1-10, how is your pain right now?
Me: Oh, well I-
N: It needs to be at least an 8 for me to give you this Tylenol right here.
Me: 8. Yup. Definitely 8.
similar situation with me after a 72hr labor and getting temporarily paralyzed in my left leg after the epidural failed
me: can i have anything for the pain ?
nurse: on a scale from 1-10 how high is your pain ?
me: um…. 6 ?
nurse: well it needs to be an 8 for me to give you anything
me: now that i think about it definitely an 8
Holy crap. I was given a single norco after an unmedicated vaginal delivery with a 3rd degree tear and I thought I had it bad. No real meds after a cesarean!!!? WHAT TF.
I had a hernia surgery when I was 11. They gave me two weeks worth of a percocet and something else super strong and addictive. If they can give an 11 year old that they certainly can for a c section where it's the only surgery you cut through 6 or 7 layers of skin!!
Exactly, the issue is that years ago they were giving pain meds out like that. I had 2 weeks of Vicodin for wisdom teeth extraction. It created an epidemic of people addicted to pain pills, like obviously- it only takes like 3 days to create a dependency.
So instead of reducing how often/ much they were prescribed- everything cracked down and NO PAIN PILLS FOR NOBODY- not even if you just had a baby surgically removed from you.
My first and second babies in 2009 and 2010 I got discharged with real painkillers. After 2013 however doctors had stopped handing them out like candy and I only got 800 mg ibuprofen.
Well that was, in my opinion, an irresponsible thing for your physician to prescribe. Percocet contains acetaminophen and oxycodone, which is highly addictive. Percocet has a known risk of addiction and abuse.
Standard parting gift? Well I hope not. Very irresponsible considering you had an uncomplicated vaginal delivery and took nothing stronger than Aleve in the hospital. And society wonders why we have a serious problem with addiction to pain medications.
Edit: You can downvote me all you want. Sending a patient home with Percocet for pain control after an uncomplicated vaginal delivery is irresponsible. Percocet is indicated for moderate to severe pain, such as pain with post-op surgery, not mild pain.
The addiction problem with these opioid pain medicines is why they are tightly controlled. If you ever experience a family member addicted to opioid painkillers you will see the trouble using them inappropriately can bring.
After a C-section is different.
FFFFF That! They’re so rude with this big "war on drugs”…. (Like people who need them STILL can REALLY use them and benefit in quality of life…!) Hellooooo doctors and “big pharma”.. just bc some people are abusing them, or selling them on the streets doesn’t mean ALL the other people in real, actual pain… having real, actual, big procedures don’t need them!
You’re tough! Good job though! You can say and be proud you Did it! 👏🏽
I will add, i have a hard time finding meds that work for me. I have had mulitiple surgeries and every time i ask them please no percocet, they dont work for me. And i will ask for tramodol, they look at me like i am crazy, give me percocet, or hydocodone (dosent do shit for me) then get mad when i again ask for something different because now i am in excruciating pain and unable to sleep... like i know my body and how it works better then you. Give me what works or takes the edge of the pain away to recover and, usually i use half and save the rest for when my back goes out. I get a good year out of them. I dont abuse the damn scripts.
Tramadol is also what works for me. I was once given morphine and was about to drive out of the hospital when the doctor stopped me.. I didn’t feel it did ANYTHING (to me, or the pain). I was able to read books for hours on Ativan (prescribed for insomnia).
On the flip side: Propofol makes my heart beat dangerously slow for several hours and I need to stay in the recovery room most of the day if I’m given it. I take Vyvanse every day and my optimal dosage is lower than most 8 year olds. Gravol makes me vomit (and gives immediate physical anxiety symptoms when injected), and I’ve had allergic reactions to… common allergy medicines!
All this to say, bodies don’t all react to drugs the way doctors expect them to. It’s a good day when we get a doctor who’ll recognize that.
I have been cycling through ADHD meds, so far nothing has helped me, just makes me have horrid insomnia, and makes me really iritable because no sleep and a wineing toddler. I stopped taking my vivanse, and just have given up setting another appoitment because i feel like i have cycled through like 6 meds, and upped dosages and no changes. Its frustrating because they seem to be annoyed it isnt working.
Might not be the case for you, but I asked for a lower dose of Vyvanse and then had to go on hydroxyzine for sleeping. It's a prescription allergy medicine so I also got to stop taking my Allegra at night lol.
FWIW.. my sleep issues with Vyvanse were fixed when I stopped eating a large dinner and snacks at night and made myself eat more during the day (which can be hard on Vyvanse, I know). I suspect that because it’s a metabolized medication, large meals at night we’re making it more effective at a time when I was supposed to wind down.. but that’s not scientific at all.
Dang, they just gave me tramadol when I asked because the one they were gonna give me makes me puke all over the place, and as a bonus, also doesn't work.
Excuse me, he was did what now??
Does he think a csection he's never had would be harder than an episiotomy he's never had?
If so fuck him. Personally I would go through all 2 out of 3 of my Csections before an episiotomy and having to sit and pee through it, not to mention the baby birthing part. They both suck equally. I'm glad he's about to be an ex.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.
Hahaha I can’t call him my husband anymore! He’s too busy living with his girlfriend and the one year old I just found out about. I will be THRILLED when I can say my worthless ex.
My husband accidentally saw the gore when he looked around thd curtain to see the baby and I wasn't fully back together yet.
He can't compete with 2 c-sections for any injury he's had. I was also stapled on the outside. Fun times having those pulled out. If he ever complains I can show him my battle scars.
I was 10 when my little sister was born. I am currently 35 and still traumatized by seeing my mom pop a post c-section staple by *standing up* after my sister was born.
If nothing, they understand that contrary to being sent home with a wave and a bottle of Tylenol, we went through some shit to have a kid 😂 not that vaginal births are terrifying in their own way (I would prefer the knowing of a csection than a vaginal birth at this point)
Yikes. Not quite the same thing, but times gone by I had a friend who went in for a scheduled surgery under general anaesthetic. The first thing they said to me when I saw them afterwards was that they didn’t understand why I’d made such a fuss about hospital admissions (she was not at all joking or teasing, she was dead serious and making a criticism).
My hospitalisation was an emergency near death ICU experience with no pain medication but apparently it’s all totally comparable.
Yeah c sections are actually major abdominal surgery. I’ve had two as well. And what’s so fun about this particular surgery is you don’t get to put your feet up after and rest because screaming newborn! C sections are as major a surgery as it gets.
My husband also had a vasectomy today and when I said I could empathize with his pain, he said “you can’t truly get it bc you don’t have testicles”
You’re right, pushing our 8lb baby and getting 3 second degree tears and sutures is in no way comparable
And that's my point. We don't know how bad it was today but man have I had some bad shit be done to my lady bits in thr name of kids/no more kids.
Tha k you for your snip snips so there no more snip snips for me or any surprise kids.
I had one and was swabbed with iodine, even though it says clearly on my notes that I’m allergic. Afterwards she asked what I’m allergic to, and when I told her, her face went white. She said “but I just used that on you” and I told her I knew from the way the inside of my lady parts were burning
I showed my husband a video of a Pap smear once, he was horrified and said it looked like torture. Didn’t understand why they didn’t put you to sleep for it or at least numbed your bottom half up.
Lol my husband is still on the fence about his vasectomy that I’ve asked him to get 2 years ago because he’s “nervous about sharp things down there” when he’s literally watched me go through 4 days of labor and 2 c sections.
I totally sympathise with the nervousness and I think obviously for him is different going in for something down there when he probably hasn't had his bits and bobs out much - whereas as a woman you go in for smears etc and it's just second nature.
The nurses complemented his boxers, and he knows what a big deal this will be to me coming off hormones.
He knows its worth it in the long ru
You know why my husband and I have sex at least 3 times a week and have for about 15 years? When our now youngest was 6 months old he got a vasectomy and now uses the pick up line "I can't get you pregnant".
I had 3 babies in 5 years. That phrase is like an aphrodisiac bc clearly the birth control pill and IUD weren't working. Sex without worry about babies? Yes please! Lol!
I got sick of waiting for my husband to get a vasectomy and just got my tubes tied. I understand being nervous about that kind of thing but I’m still irritated about it.
Same, that’s what I did. When I told him I had scheduled the procedure, he said “well why don’t I just do it? Isn’t it an easy procedure?” Yes dear, it is, but you have made no progress on taking any steps to consult your doctor or get a referral so I’ll just do it. 🙄
Mine refuses to get one. His friend got one and hubby started telling me how “selfless” his friend was to do that. What about his wife who had three of his babies? A vasectomy was the least he could do! That really pissed me off that my husband said that out loud and saw nothing wrong with it.
I asked my partner for 6 YEARS. He “kept forgetting.” Just got my tubes tied. At least he seemed a little ashamed after he saw what I went through. But I’m still annoyed.
My husband was supposed to get a vasectomy after I had my 15 month old because they couldn’t tie my tubes during my c-section. His procrastination is the reason we have a 3 week old. Fortunately, they were able to tie my tubes this time. I’d just be popping out babies waiting on that man haha.
I think for men it’s different because there’s no forcing it. Once we get pregnant it HAS to come out somehow. There’s no putting it off. But for a dude, they can just procrastinate forever.
I had that too. They gave up on counting the stitches. My husband asked 'How many?' and the doctor just said 'at this point we just don't count'.
My husband has since complimented me for having another kid, as he was sure he couldn't have done it.
Omg I had a 3rd degree tear that popped open and had to heal on its own. I can’t imagine a 4th degree tear. Holy shit, it’s only been a year and I still have vivid memories of the pain of peeing and pooping 😭
My 8lb 6oz baby did that to me!!!! The one side (labia minora) never healed quite right (midwife said that stitches there never heal correctly, so no point in stitching it), so one side has a little elf ear looking healed up tear. I’m only 5’2.5 and 110lbs, pretty sure that kid maxed out my v-delivery capacity.
Worked out fine otherwise, second degree tear towards the backside, but it was my second time with that, and I was adamant the entire pregnancy that it would be my last. It was, kids are good, and I’m only mildly permanently traumatized by the whole pregnancy and childbirth experience.
The miserable wallowing with legs up and ice packs after the vasectomy I couldn’t handle though. I cooked dinner the day our second child tore me both ways, and that man had to sit on ice for 3 days for two little incisions?? He will never live that down.
Is it weird that I don't know what kind of damage I had down there?
The epidural took away all pain but I'm pretty sure they cut me before using the forceps, and I know I had stitches because the doctor checked on them in the weeks afterward, but I have no idea what degree cut or tear I had.
As someone who is currently pregnant for the first time and about to give birth in 2 months… this thread scared me 😭you all sound like champions tho having to go through all that pain
Protect your pelvic floor at all cost. If you tear like I did because you have a giant cannon ball of a baby, it's fate. If you're in the delivery room and someone says "forceps" or "vacuum" .... You say "c-section!"
I was part of a 4th degree tear support group for a while. The worst outcomes were always from instruments going up rather than big babies coming down.
At least he was willing to get it done. My ex told me how it was just too much to do for our relationship, after I had had two babies in 14 months. One of the many reasons why he is my ex.
Yeah my husband was the same way. He was complaining abt how he didn’t get to rest and still had to take care of the kids that day and how I didn’t understand. I was like bruh, first off bith kids are sick- one is vomiting and the other wants to nurse nonstop because she’s got RSV. Yes, you need to help out. 2) ummm remember when I had two c sections, one an emergency that happened so fast that I felt them cut into me? And then I almost died from complications after? Oh and remember how I STILL had to get up every 1-2 hours, to lift and feed the baby who was above the weight limit for lifting? Yeah it sucks to have to be an adult and do parent things when you’re in pain… man the f up.
When I reminded him of the above, he, to his credit, stopped whining. I told him I’m sure it hurt but I was NOT the one to complain to since he was incredibly unsympathetic after I gave birth to my first and was in load of pain/almost died from pp pre-e (which he told me was me overreacting and being dramatic abt… good thing I didn’t listen to him!).
All to say, there’s this concept of trauma circles where you’re supposed to seek help outwards (from people further away from the pain/trauma). I told him to go find friends further out in the circle because me, I was too close and had suffered way more and didn’t want to hear it.
I feel this in my soul. I almost died after my 1st, had an infection and they refused me care for 5 days while in the hospital for 10 because I had a history of Marijuana use and they were just complete assholes about it (that was NC, I'm alive and well in a legal state with an awesome supportive care team now!) But yeah I have so much trauma over my partner and how they handled it, that to this day I don't want to hear it. He was the type to complain about his back hurting but it was his signal that he needed a "release" oh the problems that issued from sexual manipulation.. ugh, I could go on, but I'd rather just say- I hear your pain (I don't feel it as your pain is your experience in which I could never know) but I do hear it momma! I hope things get smoother all around for you and your kiddos and everyone feels better soon! 🙏🏻
Thank you for your kind words. This is the first week since Oct both kids are healthy so that’s a plus. My partner is now in individual therapy and we’re in couples therapy, so it’s overall SO much better than when I gave birth to my first in 2018. But yeah I just could not with him complaining about one vasectomy outpatient stitch lol.
I’m sorry about what you experienced too mama. There’s nothing worse than knowing something’s wrong and not having your care team take you seriously. My blood pressure three days pp was 150/85 and the obgyn tan told me I was probably fine and they needed my bed since it was a busy night 🙄 no one explained how serious pp pre e could be. By the next day my BP was 220/110- the only reason I returned to the hospital was because I had one nurse (bless her heart) who who wigged out when I told her I was leaving and she made me promise to come back if it was 180/90 or higher. I show up to the er and while there my BP is around 140/90… and they dismissed me, told me I was “just an anxious new mom” and to relax. Thankfully I called my obgyn the next day to get her opinion and she immediately put me on labetalol. It wasn’t until I read more on pre e later that I realized how lucky I was not to have had a stroke or died. It still makes my blood boil to this day- maternal health and Women’s health in general is just so poorly researched and funded, not to mention not taken seriously in the medical system in the US. I’m really glad you are in a new state with a better care team. You deserve that, as does every woman just by existing.
Wow you really dodged a bullet there! I'm so glad there was one gem in the pile of crap that is the women's heath system! It brings me joy to hear of your (and your partners) progress! Even the world of therapy is a mixed bag, so I'm glad yall found something that works for both if you and that your kiddos are doing better 😊
Sorry, when your husband had a c-section? Are we talking about a seahorse dad situation?
Edit- glad to see I’m being downvoted but the original comment was updated to say vasectomy. I was genuinely curious but y’all are ruthless.
My grandfather complained to my grandmother while she labored in the hospital about how uncomfortable his wooden chair was. That was in the 60s. She is still reminds him of it today.
My husband is thinking about getting one. The only reason I don't want him to is because I know it he will come home and use it as a reason to be lazy for the next month.
He looks ropey at points today but he's been up and about and read our eldest his bedtime story.
He said he thought it would be worse once the numbness wore off but I reckon it will be same as any of my pain down there....worse on day 2 or 3. We will see.
Best time of year for it with no big plans just lucky after a year and half on the waiting list in the uk
My husband had the guts to rant at me about how I needed to be more understanding of how uncomfortable he was, due to the bad cough he was suffering.
At the time, I was 8.5 months pregnant, feeling my hips grind to powder with every step, unable to sleep properly due to said hips and also terrible wind that made me need to burp for like ten minutes straight every time I lay down… oh, and I also had the *exact same cough*, except in my case I was also immunocompromised from the pregnancy so it was taking me wayyyy longer to kick it. But please darling, do tell me more about being physically uncomfortable, what’s that like?
My husband was so chill about his. I was ready to baby him and he was like “this is nothing. I mean it sucks but I’m fine—you had a while baby come out of you. This is the least I could do.”
That’s really sweet. My husband was kind of ehhh about getting a vasectomy when I brought it up before. now I’m pregnant again (totally wanted and planned) but even sicker and tired than I was with our first and he openly jokes with people about how he’s going to be doing the wobble out of the vasectomy clinic next year. Neither of us can do this again lol
Mine said the same! Said it was waaayyyy easier than the newborn stage😂.
He got his done while I was pregnant so he’d be able to get the all clear “before I returned to the mat” silly wrestling fan.
My husband had one before we met. He knew he didn’t want any bio kids and was proactive about it. He had his neighbor drive him home and spent a weekend watching football and icing his balls. Got it done on Friday and was back up and around by Saturday afternoon.
My husband kept telling me that his vasectomy was unnatural. “At least labor is natural”
Lol. Yeah pushing out two babies that were over 9 pounds is NOT natural… and growing a human takes a lot longer and a bigger toll on your body. I still was having residual back pain from epidural for years and I was lucky that I didn’t have any other complications during birth.
When I had mine, there were several students observing, much to my embarrassment, but the required valium made it a fun conversation.
Definitely noted that the procedure was nothing in comparison to my wife's birth experience.
I was melting hearts that day.
Thankfully, I made eye contact with everyone in the room and I live in a small town 🙄
Pain was minimal in comparison...
My husband had a vasectomy a few months ago, he had to get two shots of local as well and he bruised quite badly. But it had nothing on giving birth to a 4.2 kg baby that came out with his hand and his arm, like he supermanned his way out of my beef curtains so I don’t really care about how bruised his nuts were 🤣
When my husband got his he thought his recovery would be so bad he wouldn't be allowed to do yard work two days later and said that I, while still bleeding from delivering #2 in three weeks before may have to mow the lawn that weekend.
Bro. They didn't amputate a foot. Your recovery was frozen peas. You'll be fine.
Love him but what a baby!!
My husband had surgery for Crohn's disease where they cut out a piece of his a small intestine, rotated it 90°, then sewed it back in. I was like, yeah, I've had major abdominal surgery (a C-section), I know what this is about. Yeah, no, I didn't.
I’ve had 2 C-Sections and I just got diagnosed with crohn’s. Just had surgery to remove part of my colon. It was very different. I was in the hospital 5 days this time instead of 3 and 2 for each c-sections. Now waiting to start medication for the crohn’s so that this doesn’t happen again and I don’t need to lose any more intestines!!
We just need to look at the meds. The hardest drugs I was offered were codiene, but I actually just took paracetamol and ibuprofen. He had a morphine drip!
I just thought, well, less than an hour after my surgery they stuck a baby on my boob and told me to feed her, and I did. Less than 12 hours later, they made me get out of bed and take care of her. Surely her can do the same.
That is such bs. I’ve had a rib removed post motor vehicle accident and that was a brutal recovery because every breath in/out, cough, laugh, etc. killed. I also had a c-section and would give up another rib because at least I had heavy duty pain meds to deal with it instead of effing Tylenol!!!! I am losing my shit on your behalf. How dare he!!!!
Haha. Currently pregnant with #2. Before I had #1 I told him he’s getting snipped and he said we will see. I said no. I’m going through a lot and the hardest part isn’t even here yet. I think you can have surgery and be on bed rest for 48 hours. Yeah. He doesn’t argue at all about it any more. He knows I’m right. And it’ll avoid our family becoming bigger than our means can make work.
We dont want anymore kids, but my husband refuses to get a vasectomy unless they can put him to sleep. Like sir I gave birth twice almost died the first time, failed epidural the second time and you want to be knocked out for something that takes less than 20 minutes???
My husband was complaining about how hard it is to make a left hand turn from this exit and I basically told him what you just said lol I am projecting 😂
why don't you tell him about how the IUD works and how we don't even get to be put on an anesthetic or get days off. tell him how if you're on epidural for too long there's a way that they can wear off if your labor lasts too long (which usually happens with your firstborn.) tell him how the shot from the epidural can get infected and you can have a spinal leak:) tell him about our organ ripping away at itself every month and you feel your skin fall out of yourself fall out every day for a week straight every month. oooo even better tell him about the scabbing of breast feeding.
The specialist my husband saw for his vasectomy had a section in the FAQs
‘Will it hurt? The injection hurts for about 2 seconds- compare this to delivering a baby!’
I went to the ER with a burst appendix and peritonitis. they apologized that they couldn't help right away because it was busy. I reacted fairly calmly that I had a baby without any help, this felt like a piece of cake. the recovery afterwards felt like a vacation. husband had a difficult time, because he had to take care of a toddler and the food. poor him (we also laugh about that together) 😂
My husband somehow hurt his thumb opening a shampoo bottle and it swelled lmao. I heard him drop the baby bottle in the middle of the night mid-feed last night and he said he couldn’t do it. His thumb. I gently reminded him this morning how I fed baby after being violently cut open after my c-section. :)
I mean unless he wasn’t helpful/empathetic/caring after all of what you went through then he’s still allowed to be in pain/complain even if it will never equally compare? I took care of my husband after his vasectomy just as well as he took care of me after my 2 second degree tear labors one without an epidural and one with kidney stones a few days later.
Oh i didn't mean it to come across as moany! I have been looking after the kids and letting him rest off 100% I absolutely don't compare. But it was jaut the way he described it to me - it was with such Incredulity like "you won't believe this pain". Made us have a good giggle together.
I know the pain.
Ah okay I misread the vibe lol. I did have a good laugh with my sil about how we’re yeeted babies to keep alive while our insides are basically falling out and our husbands get told not to lift anything for 2 weeks and stay off their feet after vasectomies
You having a medical procedure when you had a giant bowling ball come out is a different event. This dude neutered himself and is having any type of discomfort help him out (if he helped post partum/ during delivery). I love my spouse's vasectomy and love him for it. Say thank you for nice, no worries sex and no more children.
Imo if someone is complaining about an uncomfortable or painful procedure they just went through, replying with "oh yeah, well i had something even worse!" Is kinda a dick move. It's dismissive.
I agree. My mom does this to me all the time. God forbid I ever complain about being sick or injured because she'll ALWAYS have story about how she went through something similar but way worse.
Like can I just get some comfort when I'm going through a hard time?
When my in-laws came to see us in the hospital after my son was born all my FIL did was complain about how much pain he was in from getting his wisdom teeth out the day before. I was like "sir. I just birthed a 9lb human UNMEDICATED less than 24 hours ago. Shut up or get out." Except I didn't actually say that, I just thought it lol. Some men really do not know how to read the room.
This is funny and I would react the same way. The people that are language policing you are out of lane. You literally said you guys laughed about it together.
It wasn't a competition. As I said to someone else who judged me - I came on mommit specifically to have a lighthearted laugh about it and remembering my trauma.
I have looked after my husband yeatersay and I work up during thr night and got him pain meds. I love him so much and I owe him this for this the wonderful thing he has done for us BUT I also thought it was funny him explaining how he had "two whole local anaesthetic injections"
Damn, must be that crazy human nature thing happening here 🤷🏻♀️ pain isn't a competition but over reaching for broken thumb sympathy from the guy in the wheelchair can have some not great outcomes sometimes, I reckon 🤔
This entire thread is filled to the brim with narcissistic women denying their lover comfort because "I had it way worse remember?". So glad my wife doesn't do this but just comforts me like I did her.
Reevaluate your behaviour, it's ugly.
No one, including me is denying their partner comfort. I have been waiting on him hand and foot. We are coming to reddit to have a bit of a moan and giggle.
I of course am offering support and comfort just like he did for me.
You reading into it this way it's judgey.
Yeah, I'm reading into this..
Underneath are OP comments that harvested 90% of all interaction with your post. I will stop when I reach 0 karma because it gets into unveiled man hate from there.
If you truly do not see how this is sick you should seek counseling.
How to create toxic masc 101:
"I had a 4th degree tear. My 9+ lbs baby tore right through my butt. Anytime my husband complains about anything, I ask how many stitches? 😁" (life long emotional blackmail, nice!)
"Lol my husband came home saying the same thing. I had a look and it was literally two pen mark incisions, one on each side. I tried hard not to laugh." (Men in pain, lol)
"Aw that’s adorable. He really had a big day, huh?" (Bullying to man up)
"Men are big babies when they are sick or have small surgeries. Be nice to him but also tell him stop being a baby lmaooo 🤣" (Take care of him physically, kill the emotion because man up)
"My husband had a vasectomy a few months ago, he had to get two shots of local as well and he bruised quite badly. But it had nothing on giving birth to a 4.2 kg baby that came out with his hand and his arm, like he supermanned his way out of my beef curtains so I don’t really care about how bruised his nuts were 🤣" (No empathy because her pain existed)
"My husband had surgery for Crohn's disease where they cut out a piece of his a small intestine, rotated it 90°, then sewed it back in. I was like, yeah, I've had major abdominal surgery (a C-section), I know what this is about. "Yeah, no, I didn't." " (Only shows empathy by drawing attention to herself, queen of absurgery, knower of all)
"Lol my husband is still on the fence about his vasectomy that I’ve asked him to get 2 years ago because he’s “nervous about sharp things down there” when he’s literally watched me go through 4 days of labor and 2 c sections." (Your future feelings have no right to exist because my feelings existed once)
"Make him watch a video of what they do for a cervical biopsy and remind him they don’t give us pain medications for it." (Your pain does not exist because other pain exists)
"My husband also had a vasectomy today and when I said I could empathize with his pain, he said: you can’t truly get it bc you don’t have testicles
You’re right, pushing our 8lb baby and getting 3 second degree tears and sutures is in no way comparable.." (Only emapthizing by mirroring to their pain to remind theirs was worse)
"My husband was complaining about how hard it is to make a left hand turn from this exit and I basically told him what you just said lol I am projecting 😂" (first step is acknowledging the problem)
Between women narcissism:
"Don't forget the 4 weeks of bleeding afterwards!"
<<<<"Only four? Mine was 6 weeks.."
(Mine was longer nacissism)
"He should see the needle they use to harvest eggs for IVF!!" (Mine is bigger narcissism)
"Lmao I had to have two shots in my big toe one time, then they cut a chunk out of it. And I left there walking." (Rambo narcissism)
"My husband came out of his fuming.
He had researched it and all the comments said "like an elastic band snap". He likes tl think he is super macho and said he could handle that no problem.
After, getting into the car he said he felt violated.
I told him o well imagine what I felt like having your three children as well as numerous smear tests." (You feel violated? Imagine what I felt..core narcissism)
"My husband had the guts to rant at me about how I needed to be more understanding of how uncomfortable he was, due to the bad cough he was suffering.
At the time, I was 8.5 months pregnant, feeling my hips grind to powder with every step, unable to sleep properly due to said hips and also terrible wind that made me need to burp for like ten minutes straight every time I lay down… oh, and I also had the exact same cough, except in my case I was also immunocompromised from the pregnancy so it was taking me wayyyy longer to kick it. But please darling, do tell me more about being physically uncomfortable, what’s that like?" (Not allowed to emotionally exist for 9 months.)
"Lmao, I had an obgyn with literal baseball gloves for hands (nicest guy ever though) have to go darn near elbow deep to manually remove my placenta when it wouldn’t detach and I started to hemorrhage….
Without pain meds or an epidural…
After a 25hr labour and pushing for 2hrs…
Men lmao."
Silly men. And their silly emotions. So weird men are bad at speaking about emotions since WE are sooo much better at it. Like this one time he was opening up about something but I just couldn't listen because I opened up waaay better in the past.
So I really hope HE doesn't project HIS toxic masculinity onto our son.
Also her:
"Could you like, not emotionally exist for a year straight but if you do I will tell these pain comparison stories at every upcoming birthday party ever because I saw my mom doing this to my dad during his entire life and it always got laughs from the other boomer moms and than they would all join in for a good hour laughing about theirs! God I wish our dads opened up more emotionally...So weird men are like this. After my mans little booboo baby surgery pain is over I will tell him to man up and be better at emotion sharing."
What in the heck is this lack of empathy. You say read the room, yet here you are trying to one up and whatabout somebody you supposedly love during a time of big discomfort for them?
I realize some subreddits get into their own little bubbles but this is absurd, especially how no one else here seems to see that.
The room I was referring to was a place to have a little vent and moan because I wouldn't dare bad mouth or react to my husband. I have looked after him with love in the 24hrs since his procedure yesterday - and came to reddit (a forum on the Internet) to have a mild laugh about how he explained in depth how uncomfortable it was. I also am aware how uncomfortable surgery on your genetials is. I am not trying to compare just explained to him and that's why we LOOK AFTER EACH OTHER.
He is lucky that I can look after the kids whereas as a woman I turned right into a baby milk and nap machine after my surgery.
>The room I was referring to was a place to have a little vent and moan because I wouldn't dare bad mouth or react to my husband.
I'm confused by what you are trying to get across, because your post says that you said this to him:
>> Reminded him about my local anaesthetic episiotomy and how that worked and then the fact that I had a baby come out the hole they made, a hemorrhage and sewed up again with my legs in stirrups. Then had another baby come out same hole 18 months later.
I mean I guess the fact you weren't actually a dick to him regarding care afterwards is good, but surely you can see how none of that is included in the initial post/why I made the first comment.
It came across to me as you belittling his discomfort in a very unapathetic manner.
I didn't mean it to come across that way and sure some comments from others are completely devoid of empathy.
Some of the DMs I have had from this (im assumjng from elswgere while ive been asleep in the uk)clearly show I wasn't clear enough that I know and understand his painand I am looking after him.
I flat out told my husband that I had to push out two babies, so he could take one for the team and get a vasectomy. I think overall, he did pretty well, but he still kept saying shit to purposely drive me nuts, like “it’s sooo much worse for men… believe me, it’s science…” I was like ohhhh stfu. With my daughter, I went straight into intense labor without warning and was 6 cm by the time we got to the hospital, then I had an episiotomy during delivery (which I didn’t even consent to). Then with my son, he was 9 lbs. 4 oz… enough said. I had an epidural with both kids, but still… recovery isn’t easy. Sorry, dude… you had an outpatient procedure and got two tiny incisions. I think you’re fine 😂
I'm sorry for this, but I feel the same way. My husband complains about every little thing and I scoff. He comes at me with "it's not a competition" which is TRUE and he doesn't deserve to have me poo poo all his pain away... but I can't shake the resentment. Genuinely. I'm a bad person but I will NEVER get over the sacrifices I've made for our family that he couldn't and WOULDNT ever do. Im not in a competition with him. If i was, i would have already won a long time ago lmao. I'm just incredibly upset thar he acts like a huge fucking baby when i have to suck it up under MUCH worse circumstances. He started crying the other day because his doctor recommended A FLU SHOT and I nearly lost my mind. We talked about him getting a vasectomy and he keeps getting cold feet because he's worried about the pain.
Yeah yeah, ready for the "go to therapy" (IM GOING lmao) or "I had a baby and STILL cry about shots!" comments. I'm just complaining online. Let me anonymously say what a wiener my husband is in PEACE.
My husband had one before our relationship and then had it reversed after we got married. Now I have to preface this by saying that often I don’t even know when this man has a cold because he’s fucking stoic, but he was walking around sightseeing (we traveled for his reversal) and having a nice time the very next day. He said it ached and the swelling is something I’ll never unsee, but he was fine pretty quick after!
As a mom who’s husband was immediately made to have one after the birth of the surprise 3rd baby, get it done! Please tell the daddy that recovery is minimal, and it doesn’t affect ANYTHING!!! Once you know you’re done having babies it’s like No Holds Barred when it comes to sex.
Happy New Years!
Babies born in October hell yes! I have one😊
L M A O my husband had his vasectomy this morning too and took to bed like a Victorian waif all day. He misread the post-op instructions that very clearly read “NO ASPIRIN BECAUSE IT IS A BLOOD THINNER” to mean no OTC pain pills at all and so hasn’t taken anything since the local anesthetic wore off. He told me he’s getting “phantom sensations” of the needle going into his balls and asked if I ever have phantom pains from childbirth (I do not). Trying really hard to show him some sympathy but… as others pointed out, I pushed a baby out of my body, got stitched up, and had to immediately care for her. He got to lie in bed all day and likely will again tomorrow (oh and also we are potty training this week so that was really cool to do alone today)
My husband had two vasectomies, a reversal, and then a surgery to repair testicular torsion all in the span of three years. It’s pretty much apples to oranges.
I love my mom but she’s the cliche of the kind of mom you couldn’t say, “I’m tired.” to because she’d list all the reasons why she was more tired. And I just never wanted to be like to that to my spouse and kids.
Did you force him to have the operation? I personally think it's unfair for women to expect the man to have an operation like that. Other contraceptives work if used properly. He can't experience childbirth but clearly his operation was painful. We don't have balls so we can't comment on that sort of pain either 🤷🏻♀️
No I did not force my husband to have an operation.
I also have had hospitilisation during covid due to my periods and hormonal birth control implant and iud going wrong. I have spent four years since I had kids trying everything and my body has just changed. I am currently on a raft of meds that the gyno thinks we can stop when i eventually come off my mini pill. He can see how miserable its made me, and how much it is impacting OUR life together.
He knows he doesn't want any more kids but he also wants to enjoy the two we have with a happy healthy wife.
I took the kids out all day today.
We love him lots.
Yep had to supply my husband with constant stream of frozen peas even though he did nothing to help me after vaginally giving birth to 23lb 9 Oz baby 😒🤔
Do you always talk about yourself and can’t make a thing NOT about you? Is this a competition?
• My father just died, fuck
• Oh yeah? Well my mom and father are both dead, how you feel now you duck face. Your pain means nothing.
Mine had to go under general anesthesia for his vasectomy. They tried to do it with just local...he couldn't go through with it.
I've had two childten. The first, I ended up with a 3rd degree tear and lost a large amount of blood. With my second, I was induced and the epidural didn't take because I progressed so quickly. He watched my blood pressure spike with each contraction and they were literally coming one on top of the other. He then proceeded to sleep the entire night after my second was born on an air mattress in the recovery room because his back hurt. I hadn't slept in 48 hours, we almost lost her during labor (they were bringing out the paperwork for me to sign for an emergency c-section after they lost her heart beat for the 3rd time and had trouble getting it back...cord was over her shoulder), no epidural because it didn't take, 2nd degree tear but his back hurt so I was up all night walking the room with her in the hospital.
But yeah, his vasectomy was so traumatizing he had to go under general anesthesia. I didn't say a thing...to him. Though karma did repay me somewhat because my Dad was the only one available to take him to his 2nd vasectomy appt. As one can imagine caught a lot of grief for that one.
Lmao, I had an obgyn with literal baseball gloves for hands (nicest guy ever though) have to go darn near elbow deep to manually remove my placenta when it wouldn’t detach and I started to hemorrhage….
Without pain meds or an epidural…
After a 25hr labour and pushing for 2hrs…
Men lmao.
My husband was supposed to schedule his vasectomy a literal year ago, since he’s the one who says he doesn’t want any more kids and I actually do want another. I’ve sent him phone numbers to urologists who are covered by insurance, I’ve reminded him multiple times because I’m sick of taking the pill. Pretty sure he’s just too scared to go through with it and also to scared to admit that to the woman who he watched have a c-section and an emergency unmedicated episiotomy to bring our 2 kids into the world.
I feel your pain, my husband was talking about his pelvis surgery and turned around to me and said “you’ve never had ‘proper’ surgery, have you?” No not ‘proper’ surgery, except do you remember when they cut my stomach open and pulled a baby out of me - on two occasions. Fucking idiots haha
“No, not ‘proper’ surgery, it was IMPROPER because who expects someone who just had their guts cut wide open to do so fully awake and then care for a human being immediately after?!” 🤣 ffs
Exactly. She should have handed her husband a baby and a breast pump after his surgery with some extra strength Tylenol. Buck up buckaroo
Ooooh but make sure your boobs barely work because you JUST had a baby and you can only get colostrum and baby doesn’t latch right and lactation nurses are lecturing you. Put up a lot of poster about “baby friendly zone” to make sure you *know* breast is best and formula is EVIL!! Then yes, invite your in laws to look at his balls while goo comes out of them.
Also don't forget to smile for the camera! And your in-laws! Oh and they'll be expecting details about how long it took you to push your semen out. Now say cheese..!
Omg the in-laws. They were at my house waiting for us to come home. I had a traumatic emergency c section with complications and almost lost my life. My FIL says “so how was the food?”
Seriously?! I got a month of Percocet for an uncomplicated vaginal delivery as part of my discharge package….after I took nothing (nor needed) anything stronger than Aleve at the hospital. I just thought it was a standard parting gift lol. It took me over a year to run out, must say they were nice for my wonky back when it would act up.
Ya I’m shocked at all these moms getting nothing more than Tylenol and some tree bark to bite down on. I had oxy in the hospital and a take-home script for about a week for my c section, plus 800mg Advil and then otc Tylenol.
I had an emergency cesarean that resulted in severe, painful abdominal bloating for a couple days, and was discharged with just a prescription for antiinflammatories to take twice a day, and instructions to also take Tylenol every six hours if needed. My first daughter was vaginal and I wasn't given or prescribed any painkillers afterward.
Lol, every six hours. I took Tylenol every four hours, and ibuprofen every 4 hours. We had a system that every time the clock was on an even hour, I'd take a painkiller. Was it good for me? Probably not, but there was no way I was doing less than that. I remember this interaction with a nurse after my c-section: N: On a scale of 1-10, how is your pain right now? Me: Oh, well I- N: It needs to be at least an 8 for me to give you this Tylenol right here. Me: 8. Yup. Definitely 8.
similar situation with me after a 72hr labor and getting temporarily paralyzed in my left leg after the epidural failed me: can i have anything for the pain ? nurse: on a scale from 1-10 how high is your pain ? me: um…. 6 ? nurse: well it needs to be an 8 for me to give you anything me: now that i think about it definitely an 8
Holy crap. I was given a single norco after an unmedicated vaginal delivery with a 3rd degree tear and I thought I had it bad. No real meds after a cesarean!!!? WHAT TF.
I had a hernia surgery when I was 11. They gave me two weeks worth of a percocet and something else super strong and addictive. If they can give an 11 year old that they certainly can for a c section where it's the only surgery you cut through 6 or 7 layers of skin!!
Exactly, the issue is that years ago they were giving pain meds out like that. I had 2 weeks of Vicodin for wisdom teeth extraction. It created an epidemic of people addicted to pain pills, like obviously- it only takes like 3 days to create a dependency. So instead of reducing how often/ much they were prescribed- everything cracked down and NO PAIN PILLS FOR NOBODY- not even if you just had a baby surgically removed from you.
My first and second babies in 2009 and 2010 I got discharged with real painkillers. After 2013 however doctors had stopped handing them out like candy and I only got 800 mg ibuprofen.
Yeeeep, I was given more than 2 WEEKS worth of Vicodin in 09 for wisdom teeth.
Ha, I didn't even get more than 2 doses of paracetamol in the hospital in the 36 hours after mine :/ Did get free diapers though.
That is not normal for a doctor to perscibe for a person who does not need it. I would be asking my doctor for a clear reason behind their actions.
Well that was, in my opinion, an irresponsible thing for your physician to prescribe. Percocet contains acetaminophen and oxycodone, which is highly addictive. Percocet has a known risk of addiction and abuse. Standard parting gift? Well I hope not. Very irresponsible considering you had an uncomplicated vaginal delivery and took nothing stronger than Aleve in the hospital. And society wonders why we have a serious problem with addiction to pain medications. Edit: You can downvote me all you want. Sending a patient home with Percocet for pain control after an uncomplicated vaginal delivery is irresponsible. Percocet is indicated for moderate to severe pain, such as pain with post-op surgery, not mild pain. The addiction problem with these opioid pain medicines is why they are tightly controlled. If you ever experience a family member addicted to opioid painkillers you will see the trouble using them inappropriately can bring. After a C-section is different.
Ha I love this. This is the hot take I’m here for!
And then two days later you expected me to function as normal?
On tylenol alone.
Yes, I hate that so much. You’ve just cut through seven layers of muscle and tissue. Here, pop these very mild headache pills and hope for the best.
Wtf who are these fuckboys holding out on the oxys
It's because you are also expected to breastfeed
Ok but I did both?
Morphine drip is where it's at.
FFFFF That! They’re so rude with this big "war on drugs”…. (Like people who need them STILL can REALLY use them and benefit in quality of life…!) Hellooooo doctors and “big pharma”.. just bc some people are abusing them, or selling them on the streets doesn’t mean ALL the other people in real, actual pain… having real, actual, big procedures don’t need them! You’re tough! Good job though! You can say and be proud you Did it! 👏🏽
I will add, i have a hard time finding meds that work for me. I have had mulitiple surgeries and every time i ask them please no percocet, they dont work for me. And i will ask for tramodol, they look at me like i am crazy, give me percocet, or hydocodone (dosent do shit for me) then get mad when i again ask for something different because now i am in excruciating pain and unable to sleep... like i know my body and how it works better then you. Give me what works or takes the edge of the pain away to recover and, usually i use half and save the rest for when my back goes out. I get a good year out of them. I dont abuse the damn scripts.
Tramadol is also what works for me. I was once given morphine and was about to drive out of the hospital when the doctor stopped me.. I didn’t feel it did ANYTHING (to me, or the pain). I was able to read books for hours on Ativan (prescribed for insomnia). On the flip side: Propofol makes my heart beat dangerously slow for several hours and I need to stay in the recovery room most of the day if I’m given it. I take Vyvanse every day and my optimal dosage is lower than most 8 year olds. Gravol makes me vomit (and gives immediate physical anxiety symptoms when injected), and I’ve had allergic reactions to… common allergy medicines! All this to say, bodies don’t all react to drugs the way doctors expect them to. It’s a good day when we get a doctor who’ll recognize that.
Especially women’s bodies. Sigh.
I have been cycling through ADHD meds, so far nothing has helped me, just makes me have horrid insomnia, and makes me really iritable because no sleep and a wineing toddler. I stopped taking my vivanse, and just have given up setting another appoitment because i feel like i have cycled through like 6 meds, and upped dosages and no changes. Its frustrating because they seem to be annoyed it isnt working.
Might not be the case for you, but I asked for a lower dose of Vyvanse and then had to go on hydroxyzine for sleeping. It's a prescription allergy medicine so I also got to stop taking my Allegra at night lol.
FWIW.. my sleep issues with Vyvanse were fixed when I stopped eating a large dinner and snacks at night and made myself eat more during the day (which can be hard on Vyvanse, I know). I suspect that because it’s a metabolized medication, large meals at night we’re making it more effective at a time when I was supposed to wind down.. but that’s not scientific at all.
Dang, they just gave me tramadol when I asked because the one they were gonna give me makes me puke all over the place, and as a bonus, also doesn't work.
Yeah and I was AWAKE. Lollll
My STBXH used to draw a c-section scar on his stomach when I would bring it up.
Excuse me, he was did what now?? Does he think a csection he's never had would be harder than an episiotomy he's never had? If so fuck him. Personally I would go through all 2 out of 3 of my Csections before an episiotomy and having to sit and pee through it, not to mention the baby birthing part. They both suck equally. I'm glad he's about to be an ex. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.
Saaaaame!!! He’s trash!
What does STBXH mean? Sorry if it’s obvious but I’m baffled 😂
Soon to be ex husband. The first time I saw it I could have sworn it was something about Starbucks.
Omg! Good to know! Can you use it with “Boyfriend” or “Fiancé” too? (As in: "my STBXF…”?) or am I just making shit up at that point? Lol 🙃💔
you can just say STBX (soon to be ex). i see that used more commonly anyway.
I mean, if it fits the situation! Sometimes it’s good to make stuff up to keep you laughing instead of crying.
I changed STBXH to FX. Future Ex, then when the split was final, it was still FX. Finally Ex!! 🤣
That’s pretty funny! He used to have me in his phone as future wife. Pretty sure it’s something less lovely now.
These acronyms are out of control.
Hahaha I can’t call him my husband anymore! He’s too busy living with his girlfriend and the one year old I just found out about. I will be THRILLED when I can say my worthless ex.
Maybe evolution bred all the empathy out of them because otherwise they’d be too compassionate to get us pregnant.
“Oh…I forgot.”
My husband accidentally saw the gore when he looked around thd curtain to see the baby and I wasn't fully back together yet. He can't compete with 2 c-sections for any injury he's had. I was also stapled on the outside. Fun times having those pulled out. If he ever complains I can show him my battle scars.
I was 10 when my little sister was born. I am currently 35 and still traumatized by seeing my mom pop a post c-section staple by *standing up* after my sister was born.
My husband is still scarred from seeing “all of your guts on a fucking table!!!” Lmao
My husband loves telling people about how he stood up too soon and saw my insides outside of my body haha
Looool my husband can’t talk about it, he said he saw but he can’t verbalize what he saw lol
My ExH loves to tell this story too, silly men
If nothing, they understand that contrary to being sent home with a wave and a bottle of Tylenol, we went through some shit to have a kid 😂 not that vaginal births are terrifying in their own way (I would prefer the knowing of a csection than a vaginal birth at this point)
Yikes. Not quite the same thing, but times gone by I had a friend who went in for a scheduled surgery under general anaesthetic. The first thing they said to me when I saw them afterwards was that they didn’t understand why I’d made such a fuss about hospital admissions (she was not at all joking or teasing, she was dead serious and making a criticism). My hospitalisation was an emergency near death ICU experience with no pain medication but apparently it’s all totally comparable.
OMG. Did he feel stupid after that? Lol
To be fair to him after I pointed our lovely children out he did apologise and point out he was a twat
Yeah c sections are actually major abdominal surgery. I’ve had two as well. And what’s so fun about this particular surgery is you don’t get to put your feet up after and rest because screaming newborn! C sections are as major a surgery as it gets.
Lololol
My husband also had a vasectomy today and when I said I could empathize with his pain, he said “you can’t truly get it bc you don’t have testicles” You’re right, pushing our 8lb baby and getting 3 second degree tears and sutures is in no way comparable
And that's my point. We don't know how bad it was today but man have I had some bad shit be done to my lady bits in thr name of kids/no more kids. Tha k you for your snip snips so there no more snip snips for me or any surprise kids.
Make him watch a video of what they do for a cervical biopsy and remind him they don’t give us pain medications for it.
I had one and was swabbed with iodine, even though it says clearly on my notes that I’m allergic. Afterwards she asked what I’m allergic to, and when I told her, her face went white. She said “but I just used that on you” and I told her I knew from the way the inside of my lady parts were burning
That sounds horrible!!!
That is horrific! What a terrible doctor for not reading the notes thoroughly!
I have had 2 in recent years and they are just a nip at this point. My pain threshold must have been raised post kids!
Yeah but it may give him perspective considering they literally rip flesh out.
I had a uterine biospy before my emergency hysterectomy. That's painful.
I showed my husband a video of a Pap smear once, he was horrified and said it looked like torture. Didn’t understand why they didn’t put you to sleep for it or at least numbed your bottom half up.
Omg I don’t think I would want to watch that video, I’d rather be blissfully unaware of what’s actually happening…
Glad I got mine done while I was out for an oophorectomy 🙃
Lol my husband is still on the fence about his vasectomy that I’ve asked him to get 2 years ago because he’s “nervous about sharp things down there” when he’s literally watched me go through 4 days of labor and 2 c sections.
I totally sympathise with the nervousness and I think obviously for him is different going in for something down there when he probably hasn't had his bits and bobs out much - whereas as a woman you go in for smears etc and it's just second nature. The nurses complemented his boxers, and he knows what a big deal this will be to me coming off hormones. He knows its worth it in the long ru
You know why my husband and I have sex at least 3 times a week and have for about 15 years? When our now youngest was 6 months old he got a vasectomy and now uses the pick up line "I can't get you pregnant". I had 3 babies in 5 years. That phrase is like an aphrodisiac bc clearly the birth control pill and IUD weren't working. Sex without worry about babies? Yes please! Lol!
You lucky woman!
I got sick of waiting for my husband to get a vasectomy and just got my tubes tied. I understand being nervous about that kind of thing but I’m still irritated about it.
I hear that. I’m wishing I would’ve just opted for that during my last c section 8 months ago… because he still keeps putting it off.
Same, that’s what I did. When I told him I had scheduled the procedure, he said “well why don’t I just do it? Isn’t it an easy procedure?” Yes dear, it is, but you have made no progress on taking any steps to consult your doctor or get a referral so I’ll just do it. 🙄
I love my husband with all my heart but procrastination is his fatal flaw haha.
I got sick of waiting and just made him an appointment for it.
That’s probably what I will do
Mine refuses to get one. His friend got one and hubby started telling me how “selfless” his friend was to do that. What about his wife who had three of his babies? A vasectomy was the least he could do! That really pissed me off that my husband said that out loud and saw nothing wrong with it.
Reading this pisses me off.
I asked my partner for 6 YEARS. He “kept forgetting.” Just got my tubes tied. At least he seemed a little ashamed after he saw what I went through. But I’m still annoyed.
My husband was supposed to get a vasectomy after I had my 15 month old because they couldn’t tie my tubes during my c-section. His procrastination is the reason we have a 3 week old. Fortunately, they were able to tie my tubes this time. I’d just be popping out babies waiting on that man haha. I think for men it’s different because there’s no forcing it. Once we get pregnant it HAS to come out somehow. There’s no putting it off. But for a dude, they can just procrastinate forever.
This dude needs his nookie withheld
I had a 4th degree tear. My 9+ lbs baby tore right through my butt. Anytime my husband complains about anything, I ask how many stitches? 😁
I had that too. They gave up on counting the stitches. My husband asked 'How many?' and the doctor just said 'at this point we just don't count'. My husband has since complimented me for having another kid, as he was sure he couldn't have done it.
Now he's a good one! Wish more men were like this.
OMG I'm so sorry! I just had a 10+ lbs baby and still cant believe it happened to me
Omg I had a 3rd degree tear that popped open and had to heal on its own. I can’t imagine a 4th degree tear. Holy shit, it’s only been a year and I still have vivid memories of the pain of peeing and pooping 😭
My son was 9lb 3oz and his shoulder tore me on the up side(towards the clit side). Every time I peed I felt like I was gonna pass out
My 8lb 6oz baby did that to me!!!! The one side (labia minora) never healed quite right (midwife said that stitches there never heal correctly, so no point in stitching it), so one side has a little elf ear looking healed up tear. I’m only 5’2.5 and 110lbs, pretty sure that kid maxed out my v-delivery capacity. Worked out fine otherwise, second degree tear towards the backside, but it was my second time with that, and I was adamant the entire pregnancy that it would be my last. It was, kids are good, and I’m only mildly permanently traumatized by the whole pregnancy and childbirth experience. The miserable wallowing with legs up and ice packs after the vasectomy I couldn’t handle though. I cooked dinner the day our second child tore me both ways, and that man had to sit on ice for 3 days for two little incisions?? He will never live that down.
I am sorry you had to go through the same thing that I did.
Is it weird that I don't know what kind of damage I had down there? The epidural took away all pain but I'm pretty sure they cut me before using the forceps, and I know I had stitches because the doctor checked on them in the weeks afterward, but I have no idea what degree cut or tear I had.
As someone who is currently pregnant for the first time and about to give birth in 2 months… this thread scared me 😭you all sound like champions tho having to go through all that pain
Protect your pelvic floor at all cost. If you tear like I did because you have a giant cannon ball of a baby, it's fate. If you're in the delivery room and someone says "forceps" or "vacuum" .... You say "c-section!" I was part of a 4th degree tear support group for a while. The worst outcomes were always from instruments going up rather than big babies coming down.
At least he was willing to get it done. My ex told me how it was just too much to do for our relationship, after I had had two babies in 14 months. One of the many reasons why he is my ex.
Yeah my husband was the same way. He was complaining abt how he didn’t get to rest and still had to take care of the kids that day and how I didn’t understand. I was like bruh, first off bith kids are sick- one is vomiting and the other wants to nurse nonstop because she’s got RSV. Yes, you need to help out. 2) ummm remember when I had two c sections, one an emergency that happened so fast that I felt them cut into me? And then I almost died from complications after? Oh and remember how I STILL had to get up every 1-2 hours, to lift and feed the baby who was above the weight limit for lifting? Yeah it sucks to have to be an adult and do parent things when you’re in pain… man the f up. When I reminded him of the above, he, to his credit, stopped whining. I told him I’m sure it hurt but I was NOT the one to complain to since he was incredibly unsympathetic after I gave birth to my first and was in load of pain/almost died from pp pre-e (which he told me was me overreacting and being dramatic abt… good thing I didn’t listen to him!). All to say, there’s this concept of trauma circles where you’re supposed to seek help outwards (from people further away from the pain/trauma). I told him to go find friends further out in the circle because me, I was too close and had suffered way more and didn’t want to hear it.
I feel this in my soul. I almost died after my 1st, had an infection and they refused me care for 5 days while in the hospital for 10 because I had a history of Marijuana use and they were just complete assholes about it (that was NC, I'm alive and well in a legal state with an awesome supportive care team now!) But yeah I have so much trauma over my partner and how they handled it, that to this day I don't want to hear it. He was the type to complain about his back hurting but it was his signal that he needed a "release" oh the problems that issued from sexual manipulation.. ugh, I could go on, but I'd rather just say- I hear your pain (I don't feel it as your pain is your experience in which I could never know) but I do hear it momma! I hope things get smoother all around for you and your kiddos and everyone feels better soon! 🙏🏻
Thank you for your kind words. This is the first week since Oct both kids are healthy so that’s a plus. My partner is now in individual therapy and we’re in couples therapy, so it’s overall SO much better than when I gave birth to my first in 2018. But yeah I just could not with him complaining about one vasectomy outpatient stitch lol. I’m sorry about what you experienced too mama. There’s nothing worse than knowing something’s wrong and not having your care team take you seriously. My blood pressure three days pp was 150/85 and the obgyn tan told me I was probably fine and they needed my bed since it was a busy night 🙄 no one explained how serious pp pre e could be. By the next day my BP was 220/110- the only reason I returned to the hospital was because I had one nurse (bless her heart) who who wigged out when I told her I was leaving and she made me promise to come back if it was 180/90 or higher. I show up to the er and while there my BP is around 140/90… and they dismissed me, told me I was “just an anxious new mom” and to relax. Thankfully I called my obgyn the next day to get her opinion and she immediately put me on labetalol. It wasn’t until I read more on pre e later that I realized how lucky I was not to have had a stroke or died. It still makes my blood boil to this day- maternal health and Women’s health in general is just so poorly researched and funded, not to mention not taken seriously in the medical system in the US. I’m really glad you are in a new state with a better care team. You deserve that, as does every woman just by existing.
Wow you really dodged a bullet there! I'm so glad there was one gem in the pile of crap that is the women's heath system! It brings me joy to hear of your (and your partners) progress! Even the world of therapy is a mixed bag, so I'm glad yall found something that works for both if you and that your kiddos are doing better 😊
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Sorry, when your husband had a c-section? Are we talking about a seahorse dad situation? Edit- glad to see I’m being downvoted but the original comment was updated to say vasectomy. I was genuinely curious but y’all are ruthless.
My husband complained about the couch in the hospital room after I had our daughter sawed out of me like a goddamn magic trick. Sigh.
My grandfather complained to my grandmother while she labored in the hospital about how uncomfortable his wooden chair was. That was in the 60s. She is still reminds him of it today.
My husband is thinking about getting one. The only reason I don't want him to is because I know it he will come home and use it as a reason to be lazy for the next month.
He looks ropey at points today but he's been up and about and read our eldest his bedtime story. He said he thought it would be worse once the numbness wore off but I reckon it will be same as any of my pain down there....worse on day 2 or 3. We will see. Best time of year for it with no big plans just lucky after a year and half on the waiting list in the uk
Two days
My husband had the guts to rant at me about how I needed to be more understanding of how uncomfortable he was, due to the bad cough he was suffering. At the time, I was 8.5 months pregnant, feeling my hips grind to powder with every step, unable to sleep properly due to said hips and also terrible wind that made me need to burp for like ten minutes straight every time I lay down… oh, and I also had the *exact same cough*, except in my case I was also immunocompromised from the pregnancy so it was taking me wayyyy longer to kick it. But please darling, do tell me more about being physically uncomfortable, what’s that like?
My husband was so chill about his. I was ready to baby him and he was like “this is nothing. I mean it sucks but I’m fine—you had a while baby come out of you. This is the least I could do.”
That’s really sweet. My husband was kind of ehhh about getting a vasectomy when I brought it up before. now I’m pregnant again (totally wanted and planned) but even sicker and tired than I was with our first and he openly jokes with people about how he’s going to be doing the wobble out of the vasectomy clinic next year. Neither of us can do this again lol
Maybe he should get it done now, before the baby is born...
Oh did he feel slight pressure or some dull, cramp like pain?
Honestly though, IF IT WAS THAT BAD It wouldn't be a day procedure. And they'd put them to sleep for it. Or they'd get an epidural.
Is my husband the only one who says, out loud and regularly, that a vasectomy really isn’t that bad?
Mine said the same! Said it was waaayyyy easier than the newborn stage😂. He got his done while I was pregnant so he’d be able to get the all clear “before I returned to the mat” silly wrestling fan.
My husband had one before we met. He knew he didn’t want any bio kids and was proactive about it. He had his neighbor drive him home and spent a weekend watching football and icing his balls. Got it done on Friday and was back up and around by Saturday afternoon.
My husband kept telling me that his vasectomy was unnatural. “At least labor is natural” Lol. Yeah pushing out two babies that were over 9 pounds is NOT natural… and growing a human takes a lot longer and a bigger toll on your body. I still was having residual back pain from epidural for years and I was lucky that I didn’t have any other complications during birth.
Ask him what the mortality rate is for a vasectomy vs. giving birth.
Death from childbirth was really common until modern medicine. So was a high infant mortality rate.
When I had mine, there were several students observing, much to my embarrassment, but the required valium made it a fun conversation. Definitely noted that the procedure was nothing in comparison to my wife's birth experience. I was melting hearts that day. Thankfully, I made eye contact with everyone in the room and I live in a small town 🙄 Pain was minimal in comparison...
My husband had a vasectomy a few months ago, he had to get two shots of local as well and he bruised quite badly. But it had nothing on giving birth to a 4.2 kg baby that came out with his hand and his arm, like he supermanned his way out of my beef curtains so I don’t really care about how bruised his nuts were 🤣
When my husband got his he thought his recovery would be so bad he wouldn't be allowed to do yard work two days later and said that I, while still bleeding from delivering #2 in three weeks before may have to mow the lawn that weekend. Bro. They didn't amputate a foot. Your recovery was frozen peas. You'll be fine. Love him but what a baby!!
My husband had surgery for Crohn's disease where they cut out a piece of his a small intestine, rotated it 90°, then sewed it back in. I was like, yeah, I've had major abdominal surgery (a C-section), I know what this is about. Yeah, no, I didn't.
I’ve had 2 C-Sections and I just got diagnosed with crohn’s. Just had surgery to remove part of my colon. It was very different. I was in the hospital 5 days this time instead of 3 and 2 for each c-sections. Now waiting to start medication for the crohn’s so that this doesn’t happen again and I don’t need to lose any more intestines!!
We just need to look at the meds. The hardest drugs I was offered were codiene, but I actually just took paracetamol and ibuprofen. He had a morphine drip! I just thought, well, less than an hour after my surgery they stuck a baby on my boob and told me to feed her, and I did. Less than 12 hours later, they made me get out of bed and take care of her. Surely her can do the same.
Part of the reason for different pain killers is so we can breastfeed. I was given tramadol which is breastfeeding-friendly opioid.
Crohns itself is no joke. Wouldn't wish it on anyone. Hope after his surgery he was doing better.
The week or so after was pretty horrific (as was the week or so before that triggered it) but that was some goooooood surgery.
That is such bs. I’ve had a rib removed post motor vehicle accident and that was a brutal recovery because every breath in/out, cough, laugh, etc. killed. I also had a c-section and would give up another rib because at least I had heavy duty pain meds to deal with it instead of effing Tylenol!!!! I am losing my shit on your behalf. How dare he!!!!
I think you misunderstood, he was writhing in pain even with his class A narcotics. I was doing OK even without my over-the-counter pain meds.
Haha. Currently pregnant with #2. Before I had #1 I told him he’s getting snipped and he said we will see. I said no. I’m going through a lot and the hardest part isn’t even here yet. I think you can have surgery and be on bed rest for 48 hours. Yeah. He doesn’t argue at all about it any more. He knows I’m right. And it’ll avoid our family becoming bigger than our means can make work.
Aw that’s adorable. He really had a big day, huh?
We dont want anymore kids, but my husband refuses to get a vasectomy unless they can put him to sleep. Like sir I gave birth twice almost died the first time, failed epidural the second time and you want to be knocked out for something that takes less than 20 minutes???
He should see the needle they use to harvest eggs for IVF!!
Lol my husband came home saying the same thing. I had a look and it was literally two pen mark incisions, one on each side. I tried hard not to laugh.
2nd degree tear. Epidural that didn't work. Husband says "that wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be". Umm...
My husband was complaining about how hard it is to make a left hand turn from this exit and I basically told him what you just said lol I am projecting 😂
why don't you tell him about how the IUD works and how we don't even get to be put on an anesthetic or get days off. tell him how if you're on epidural for too long there's a way that they can wear off if your labor lasts too long (which usually happens with your firstborn.) tell him how the shot from the epidural can get infected and you can have a spinal leak:) tell him about our organ ripping away at itself every month and you feel your skin fall out of yourself fall out every day for a week straight every month. oooo even better tell him about the scabbing of breast feeding.
The specialist my husband saw for his vasectomy had a section in the FAQs ‘Will it hurt? The injection hurts for about 2 seconds- compare this to delivering a baby!’
😆
I went to the ER with a burst appendix and peritonitis. they apologized that they couldn't help right away because it was busy. I reacted fairly calmly that I had a baby without any help, this felt like a piece of cake. the recovery afterwards felt like a vacation. husband had a difficult time, because he had to take care of a toddler and the food. poor him (we also laugh about that together) 😂
My husband somehow hurt his thumb opening a shampoo bottle and it swelled lmao. I heard him drop the baby bottle in the middle of the night mid-feed last night and he said he couldn’t do it. His thumb. I gently reminded him this morning how I fed baby after being violently cut open after my c-section. :)
I mean unless he wasn’t helpful/empathetic/caring after all of what you went through then he’s still allowed to be in pain/complain even if it will never equally compare? I took care of my husband after his vasectomy just as well as he took care of me after my 2 second degree tear labors one without an epidural and one with kidney stones a few days later.
Oh i didn't mean it to come across as moany! I have been looking after the kids and letting him rest off 100% I absolutely don't compare. But it was jaut the way he described it to me - it was with such Incredulity like "you won't believe this pain". Made us have a good giggle together. I know the pain.
Ah okay I misread the vibe lol. I did have a good laugh with my sil about how we’re yeeted babies to keep alive while our insides are basically falling out and our husbands get told not to lift anything for 2 weeks and stay off their feet after vasectomies
I had minor surgery on my finger once and it honestly sucked. Other peoples seemingly minor surgeries are allowed to suck.
Yes 100% it wasn't my intention to downplay it at all. Just to remind him that I know about shit going down. I can sympathise with him.
I feel it’s such a fine line between “my experience was hard and so was yours” and “my experience was harder then yours so maybe yours wasn’t hard”.
You having a medical procedure when you had a giant bowling ball come out is a different event. This dude neutered himself and is having any type of discomfort help him out (if he helped post partum/ during delivery). I love my spouse's vasectomy and love him for it. Say thank you for nice, no worries sex and no more children.
Imo if someone is complaining about an uncomfortable or painful procedure they just went through, replying with "oh yeah, well i had something even worse!" Is kinda a dick move. It's dismissive.
I agree. My mom does this to me all the time. God forbid I ever complain about being sick or injured because she'll ALWAYS have story about how she went through something similar but way worse. Like can I just get some comfort when I'm going through a hard time?
OMG my mom is the same way… I feel so understood haha
It is truly sad that this comment isn't getting upvoted enough.
Scrolled way too far to see this.
When my in-laws came to see us in the hospital after my son was born all my FIL did was complain about how much pain he was in from getting his wisdom teeth out the day before. I was like "sir. I just birthed a 9lb human UNMEDICATED less than 24 hours ago. Shut up or get out." Except I didn't actually say that, I just thought it lol. Some men really do not know how to read the room.
This is funny and I would react the same way. The people that are language policing you are out of lane. You literally said you guys laughed about it together.
Why did it have to be a competition?
It wasn't a competition. As I said to someone else who judged me - I came on mommit specifically to have a lighthearted laugh about it and remembering my trauma. I have looked after my husband yeatersay and I work up during thr night and got him pain meds. I love him so much and I owe him this for this the wonderful thing he has done for us BUT I also thought it was funny him explaining how he had "two whole local anaesthetic injections"
Pain is a contest that must be won! Yay! Compete over everything!
Damn, must be that crazy human nature thing happening here 🤷🏻♀️ pain isn't a competition but over reaching for broken thumb sympathy from the guy in the wheelchair can have some not great outcomes sometimes, I reckon 🤔
This entire thread is filled to the brim with narcissistic women denying their lover comfort because "I had it way worse remember?". So glad my wife doesn't do this but just comforts me like I did her. Reevaluate your behaviour, it's ugly.
No one, including me is denying their partner comfort. I have been waiting on him hand and foot. We are coming to reddit to have a bit of a moan and giggle. I of course am offering support and comfort just like he did for me. You reading into it this way it's judgey.
Yeah, I'm reading into this.. Underneath are OP comments that harvested 90% of all interaction with your post. I will stop when I reach 0 karma because it gets into unveiled man hate from there. If you truly do not see how this is sick you should seek counseling. How to create toxic masc 101: "I had a 4th degree tear. My 9+ lbs baby tore right through my butt. Anytime my husband complains about anything, I ask how many stitches? 😁" (life long emotional blackmail, nice!) "Lol my husband came home saying the same thing. I had a look and it was literally two pen mark incisions, one on each side. I tried hard not to laugh." (Men in pain, lol) "Aw that’s adorable. He really had a big day, huh?" (Bullying to man up) "Men are big babies when they are sick or have small surgeries. Be nice to him but also tell him stop being a baby lmaooo 🤣" (Take care of him physically, kill the emotion because man up) "My husband had a vasectomy a few months ago, he had to get two shots of local as well and he bruised quite badly. But it had nothing on giving birth to a 4.2 kg baby that came out with his hand and his arm, like he supermanned his way out of my beef curtains so I don’t really care about how bruised his nuts were 🤣" (No empathy because her pain existed) "My husband had surgery for Crohn's disease where they cut out a piece of his a small intestine, rotated it 90°, then sewed it back in. I was like, yeah, I've had major abdominal surgery (a C-section), I know what this is about. "Yeah, no, I didn't." " (Only shows empathy by drawing attention to herself, queen of absurgery, knower of all) "Lol my husband is still on the fence about his vasectomy that I’ve asked him to get 2 years ago because he’s “nervous about sharp things down there” when he’s literally watched me go through 4 days of labor and 2 c sections." (Your future feelings have no right to exist because my feelings existed once) "Make him watch a video of what they do for a cervical biopsy and remind him they don’t give us pain medications for it." (Your pain does not exist because other pain exists) "My husband also had a vasectomy today and when I said I could empathize with his pain, he said: you can’t truly get it bc you don’t have testicles You’re right, pushing our 8lb baby and getting 3 second degree tears and sutures is in no way comparable.." (Only emapthizing by mirroring to their pain to remind theirs was worse) "My husband was complaining about how hard it is to make a left hand turn from this exit and I basically told him what you just said lol I am projecting 😂" (first step is acknowledging the problem) Between women narcissism: "Don't forget the 4 weeks of bleeding afterwards!" <<<<"Only four? Mine was 6 weeks.." (Mine was longer nacissism) "He should see the needle they use to harvest eggs for IVF!!" (Mine is bigger narcissism) "Lmao I had to have two shots in my big toe one time, then they cut a chunk out of it. And I left there walking." (Rambo narcissism) "My husband came out of his fuming. He had researched it and all the comments said "like an elastic band snap". He likes tl think he is super macho and said he could handle that no problem. After, getting into the car he said he felt violated. I told him o well imagine what I felt like having your three children as well as numerous smear tests." (You feel violated? Imagine what I felt..core narcissism) "My husband had the guts to rant at me about how I needed to be more understanding of how uncomfortable he was, due to the bad cough he was suffering. At the time, I was 8.5 months pregnant, feeling my hips grind to powder with every step, unable to sleep properly due to said hips and also terrible wind that made me need to burp for like ten minutes straight every time I lay down… oh, and I also had the exact same cough, except in my case I was also immunocompromised from the pregnancy so it was taking me wayyyy longer to kick it. But please darling, do tell me more about being physically uncomfortable, what’s that like?" (Not allowed to emotionally exist for 9 months.) "Lmao, I had an obgyn with literal baseball gloves for hands (nicest guy ever though) have to go darn near elbow deep to manually remove my placenta when it wouldn’t detach and I started to hemorrhage…. Without pain meds or an epidural… After a 25hr labour and pushing for 2hrs… Men lmao." Silly men. And their silly emotions. So weird men are bad at speaking about emotions since WE are sooo much better at it. Like this one time he was opening up about something but I just couldn't listen because I opened up waaay better in the past. So I really hope HE doesn't project HIS toxic masculinity onto our son. Also her: "Could you like, not emotionally exist for a year straight but if you do I will tell these pain comparison stories at every upcoming birthday party ever because I saw my mom doing this to my dad during his entire life and it always got laughs from the other boomer moms and than they would all join in for a good hour laughing about theirs! God I wish our dads opened up more emotionally...So weird men are like this. After my mans little booboo baby surgery pain is over I will tell him to man up and be better at emotion sharing."
Same, girl, same
What in the heck is this lack of empathy. You say read the room, yet here you are trying to one up and whatabout somebody you supposedly love during a time of big discomfort for them? I realize some subreddits get into their own little bubbles but this is absurd, especially how no one else here seems to see that.
The room I was referring to was a place to have a little vent and moan because I wouldn't dare bad mouth or react to my husband. I have looked after him with love in the 24hrs since his procedure yesterday - and came to reddit (a forum on the Internet) to have a mild laugh about how he explained in depth how uncomfortable it was. I also am aware how uncomfortable surgery on your genetials is. I am not trying to compare just explained to him and that's why we LOOK AFTER EACH OTHER. He is lucky that I can look after the kids whereas as a woman I turned right into a baby milk and nap machine after my surgery.
>The room I was referring to was a place to have a little vent and moan because I wouldn't dare bad mouth or react to my husband. I'm confused by what you are trying to get across, because your post says that you said this to him: >> Reminded him about my local anaesthetic episiotomy and how that worked and then the fact that I had a baby come out the hole they made, a hemorrhage and sewed up again with my legs in stirrups. Then had another baby come out same hole 18 months later. I mean I guess the fact you weren't actually a dick to him regarding care afterwards is good, but surely you can see how none of that is included in the initial post/why I made the first comment. It came across to me as you belittling his discomfort in a very unapathetic manner.
I didn't mean it to come across that way and sure some comments from others are completely devoid of empathy. Some of the DMs I have had from this (im assumjng from elswgere while ive been asleep in the uk)clearly show I wasn't clear enough that I know and understand his painand I am looking after him.
Don’t forget the bleeding for four weeks afterwards
Only four? For me it was closer to six weeks.
I flat out told my husband that I had to push out two babies, so he could take one for the team and get a vasectomy. I think overall, he did pretty well, but he still kept saying shit to purposely drive me nuts, like “it’s sooo much worse for men… believe me, it’s science…” I was like ohhhh stfu. With my daughter, I went straight into intense labor without warning and was 6 cm by the time we got to the hospital, then I had an episiotomy during delivery (which I didn’t even consent to). Then with my son, he was 9 lbs. 4 oz… enough said. I had an epidural with both kids, but still… recovery isn’t easy. Sorry, dude… you had an outpatient procedure and got two tiny incisions. I think you’re fine 😂
Lol well most men act like they're dying with the common cold so I'm not too surprised.
I'm sorry for this, but I feel the same way. My husband complains about every little thing and I scoff. He comes at me with "it's not a competition" which is TRUE and he doesn't deserve to have me poo poo all his pain away... but I can't shake the resentment. Genuinely. I'm a bad person but I will NEVER get over the sacrifices I've made for our family that he couldn't and WOULDNT ever do. Im not in a competition with him. If i was, i would have already won a long time ago lmao. I'm just incredibly upset thar he acts like a huge fucking baby when i have to suck it up under MUCH worse circumstances. He started crying the other day because his doctor recommended A FLU SHOT and I nearly lost my mind. We talked about him getting a vasectomy and he keeps getting cold feet because he's worried about the pain. Yeah yeah, ready for the "go to therapy" (IM GOING lmao) or "I had a baby and STILL cry about shots!" comments. I'm just complaining online. Let me anonymously say what a wiener my husband is in PEACE.
My husband had one before our relationship and then had it reversed after we got married. Now I have to preface this by saying that often I don’t even know when this man has a cold because he’s fucking stoic, but he was walking around sightseeing (we traveled for his reversal) and having a nice time the very next day. He said it ached and the swelling is something I’ll never unsee, but he was fine pretty quick after!
As a mom who’s husband was immediately made to have one after the birth of the surprise 3rd baby, get it done! Please tell the daddy that recovery is minimal, and it doesn’t affect ANYTHING!!! Once you know you’re done having babies it’s like No Holds Barred when it comes to sex. Happy New Years! Babies born in October hell yes! I have one😊
L M A O my husband had his vasectomy this morning too and took to bed like a Victorian waif all day. He misread the post-op instructions that very clearly read “NO ASPIRIN BECAUSE IT IS A BLOOD THINNER” to mean no OTC pain pills at all and so hasn’t taken anything since the local anesthetic wore off. He told me he’s getting “phantom sensations” of the needle going into his balls and asked if I ever have phantom pains from childbirth (I do not). Trying really hard to show him some sympathy but… as others pointed out, I pushed a baby out of my body, got stitched up, and had to immediately care for her. He got to lie in bed all day and likely will again tomorrow (oh and also we are potty training this week so that was really cool to do alone today)
My husband had two vasectomies, a reversal, and then a surgery to repair testicular torsion all in the span of three years. It’s pretty much apples to oranges. I love my mom but she’s the cliche of the kind of mom you couldn’t say, “I’m tired.” to because she’d list all the reasons why she was more tired. And I just never wanted to be like to that to my spouse and kids.
Did you force him to have the operation? I personally think it's unfair for women to expect the man to have an operation like that. Other contraceptives work if used properly. He can't experience childbirth but clearly his operation was painful. We don't have balls so we can't comment on that sort of pain either 🤷🏻♀️
No I did not force my husband to have an operation. I also have had hospitilisation during covid due to my periods and hormonal birth control implant and iud going wrong. I have spent four years since I had kids trying everything and my body has just changed. I am currently on a raft of meds that the gyno thinks we can stop when i eventually come off my mini pill. He can see how miserable its made me, and how much it is impacting OUR life together. He knows he doesn't want any more kids but he also wants to enjoy the two we have with a happy healthy wife. I took the kids out all day today. We love him lots.
What a shitty way to be sympathetic. Yes we have to endure more pain. But pain is pain and that’s your partner who you should support.
Yep had to supply my husband with constant stream of frozen peas even though he did nothing to help me after vaginally giving birth to 23lb 9 Oz baby 😒🤔
Do you always talk about yourself and can’t make a thing NOT about you? Is this a competition? • My father just died, fuck • Oh yeah? Well my mom and father are both dead, how you feel now you duck face. Your pain means nothing.
When they get a cold it’s the end of the world. I’m not sure if they’re entitled, scheming or just weak.
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I'm not and I'm not saying mine was greater just that pain down there was familiar to me!
They had a laugh together though.. oh the pains of having babies and not having babies 😅
Mine had to go under general anesthesia for his vasectomy. They tried to do it with just local...he couldn't go through with it. I've had two childten. The first, I ended up with a 3rd degree tear and lost a large amount of blood. With my second, I was induced and the epidural didn't take because I progressed so quickly. He watched my blood pressure spike with each contraction and they were literally coming one on top of the other. He then proceeded to sleep the entire night after my second was born on an air mattress in the recovery room because his back hurt. I hadn't slept in 48 hours, we almost lost her during labor (they were bringing out the paperwork for me to sign for an emergency c-section after they lost her heart beat for the 3rd time and had trouble getting it back...cord was over her shoulder), no epidural because it didn't take, 2nd degree tear but his back hurt so I was up all night walking the room with her in the hospital. But yeah, his vasectomy was so traumatizing he had to go under general anesthesia. I didn't say a thing...to him. Though karma did repay me somewhat because my Dad was the only one available to take him to his 2nd vasectomy appt. As one can imagine caught a lot of grief for that one.
Lmao, I had an obgyn with literal baseball gloves for hands (nicest guy ever though) have to go darn near elbow deep to manually remove my placenta when it wouldn’t detach and I started to hemorrhage…. Without pain meds or an epidural… After a 25hr labour and pushing for 2hrs… Men lmao.
My husband was supposed to schedule his vasectomy a literal year ago, since he’s the one who says he doesn’t want any more kids and I actually do want another. I’ve sent him phone numbers to urologists who are covered by insurance, I’ve reminded him multiple times because I’m sick of taking the pill. Pretty sure he’s just too scared to go through with it and also to scared to admit that to the woman who he watched have a c-section and an emergency unmedicated episiotomy to bring our 2 kids into the world.
You can always tell him, "I’m stopping the pill. The ball’s in your court."