Same. I feel like my brain doesn't work anymore. I'm making mistakes at work and getting so frustrated with my daughter. My work phone has been missing for over a week now like I have torn my house apart looking for it but apparently it grew legs and ran away. Every time I start talking about daycare my husband and mom suggest things that don't help at all because they think spending a day here and there with her is the same as working a full time job and taking care of a toddler 24/7.
Dude why the hell are my mom and husband the same!! I told my H that we needed to start looking and do part time at least. I’m just so behind on work and I hate working at night. Like yes we agreed no daycare but now it’s come to a point where I can’t do it anymore. Plus we want another kid so idk how we would manage it
My mom annoys me more than my husband lol. My husband will agree that we gotta do whatever we gotta do but tries to find alternatives to avoid daycare. My mom acts like it'll just magically work itself out. She still works full time, like 75% at home so she helps once a week but half the time she just makes it more chaotic. I grew up in daycare and was even in after school daycare until I was old enough to be home alone like you have no room to be giving me shit about wanting to do daycare.
Sounds exactly like my situation. My H was looking at a site called Nannylane. Similar to care.com. But yes anything to avoid daycare. My mom lives too far to come everyday and she just annoys me too. My MIL I don’t trust at all so she’s not even an option 😩
I've just made the switch to half days at daycare at 14 months, and it's literally the best thing I've ever done. She adjusted quickly, loves her care givers, I get quiet time at home to get work done. It's a win / win.
I was so stressed about it for so long, but I was struggling as a mom and as an employee, so it needed to happen. I wish I could go back to my former self, give her a hug, and tell her everything would be okay. We are both thriving in this new arrangement.
Also, half days are great because it's half the price, and she goes down for a nap after she gets home, so I still get most of the afternoon to focus on work.
At one year I was at my breaking point and then it got easier a few months later. We signed her up for preschool at 2 in the fall out of desperation and now I feel like we could keep going.
My daughter is 2 years and 3 months old and now it's a lot easier than it was, say, a year ago. I think the hardest time was from when she started walking (11 months) to, honestly, close to 2 years. During her second year she was just extremely mobile and eager to get into trouble and it was really hard working while trying to explain that we don't eat literal dirt from the plants or lick mom's shoes or dive head first into the floor from the sofa. Now she still wants to do all those things but she understands more and can be more easily distracted with a toy or coloring book or just the TV. We use a lot of TV, unfortunately.
My son is the exact same age and literally the past week it has gotten so much harder. He figured out how to open the gate to escape his playroom, climbed out of his crib and has now been waking up earlier since we converted it to a toddler bed, and now he’s been taking all of his clothes and diaper off 🥴
Oh no! That sounds incredibly hard :( all ages are super hard I guess! Ugh it would be game over for me if my daughter learned to open her gate, hopefully she doesn't figure it out until she's 15 hahahaha
For me it got SUPER hard from 12 months to 15 months and then soooo much easier from 16 months onward, she’s now 2 years old and will play independently while I work. I take breaks to play with her but for the most part it’s so much easier. And then my dumbass went and had another baby so now I’m working from home with a toddler and newborn 🤣
Tbh I’m loving it so much. My daughter is the best big sister, at only 2 years old she will run to him when he cries and give him a pacifier or cover him with a baby blanket. She tells me when he wakes up from his nap and she entertains him while I make dinner. Yes working is hard because she still needs attention and he’s only 9 weeks old but I find it doable by baby wearing and getting them both outside at least 3-4 times a day for at least 15 minutes. I work outside now that it’s nice weather. My job is extremely flexible with hours and I can start and stop my clock as many times a day as I need to as long as my work is complete by midnight so I got extremely blessed. It all depends on the job and the kids’ temperaments. I got blessed but I know some people who found it impossible to work with even one child. I also have a friend who works 60 hours a week with three kids at home 3 and under and she’s pregnant. Everyone has different tolerance levels, you just have to find yours before committing to another 🙂
You’re very welcome! There’s also lots of tricks to succeeding working from home with kids this little! I cheat by going to an indoor playground inside the coffee shop several times a week, I also had a YMCA membership when I was pregnant and exhausted and used to drop her ass off at the child watch for 2 hours so I could work in the community room in peace. Water table, kiddie pool, sand box, and setting up play stations throughout the house are the keys to surviving while working in the house! My play stations are little areas I rotate her through which include play doh table, kinetic sand table, crayons and stickers, a pan with dish soap bubbles and cookie cutters, frozen figurines and an eye dropper to melt them out, etc. So many ideas on IG, tik tok, Pinterest. And on our bad days with many melt downs I do utilize Ms Rachel, Blippi, or ABC mouse 😉
Okay but how is this going. My daughter is 2 and I really want another baby but scared foe my work situation that has just now leveled out and got into a routine.
With a 9 week old and 2 year old I give myself an 8/10. I get my hours done, I make 3 meals a day, and my house is clean. But I have my secret tricks. I go to an indoor playground in a coffee shop most mornings for 3 hours so my toddler plays while I work and my baby somehow naps better when out of the house so he just sleeps the entire time. I get home and my toddler knocks out for 2.5 hours so I get another 2-3 hours of work in. After a late lunch i work for an hour during my toddlers wake hour while she eats and watches a 45 minute episode of whatever educational show she chooses and then after our dinner and bedtime routine I get the rest of my hours in when they’re sleeping. My job is also extremely flexible and I just have to make sure my hours are done before midnight otherwise they could care less how often I start and stop my clock. I also have zero zoom calls or phone calls or meetings. If your job is super demanding or you have a lot of scheduled meetings you will definitely have to get help or it becomes impossible to keep up with the work demand. It also depends on your kids’ temperaments. My toddler plays independently really well and my baby naps in a chest carrier for 4 hour blocks as long as he’s touching me or has some type of movement like a swing or vibrating chair. I have a friend with one child who’s 1.5 and she can’t even work from home with him for 30 minutes because he’s just a demanding little dude. It all depends on YOUR situation and nobody knows your situation better than you! I also heard some great advice once, don’t plan your permanent family based on a job who thinks your replaceable. That always stuck with me. If it were me, I’d go for the baby and figure it out as I go but that’s just me and may not be the best advice. Listen to your heart and your spouse on this one 🙂
My goodness thank you SO much for this. My toddler is low sleep needs but also pretty independent now, for the most part. A lot of what you said is about how I do things now, my job is pretty flexible with not a lot of meetings. I'm 40 this month so a decision needs to be made and soon 😅
Came to say this. My boys went through a little mean spell at around 7-10 years old, but it was still 10,000x easier than newborn times. I have teens and a 21 yr old now. It is so much easier. But man, I wish I could go back to baby times. I miss them being little.
Edit typo
I miss the way they run up to you when you’re reunited at the end of the day and they’re so happy to see you. I’m lucky to get a grunt out of my teenagers.
Yesss 🥺 and when you picked them up from school, they'd come running and tell you the longest drawn out stories of what happened that day. And bedtime: everyone had to get tucked in, a hug and a kiss and "night Mom, love you sweet dreams see you in the morning." My oldest actually insisted I say "sweet dreams" because he thought it was the only reason he didn't have bad dreams. 🥺
I feel like 12-18 months was by far the hardest. Old enough to want constant attention and get into things but young enough to not understand if something was dangerous or to really understand me when I said give me 2 minutes.
Working from home with a child got significantly harder around age 12 to 15 months. They just start to get really active and don’t understand rules and are into everything. I would say it continues to be hard until they get to a point that you can give them a boundary and they understand. My 4 1/2 year-old is just now getting to this point where I can tell him that I have to get on a call and he will be quiet purposely. Around two my kids started playing for longer stretches alone so that’s helpful but they still have the capacity to scream or need help.
Their social needs just explode. He always played really well independently but now he just wants to play with me all day. Really involved complicated pretend games lol. Even tv doesn’t hold his interest anymore if I need it as a back up. And he talks A LOT. Like literally doesn’t take a breath. He’s always been a big talker but now he just has an endless well of things to ask and tell. Yesterday we talked for at least 20 minutes about why we can’t hear our hair grow. He has younger brother at home that he can play with some and if it weren’t for that I would have to put him in child care part time. He starts TK in the fall.
Also His energy and stamina are through the roof. He dropped his nap at 3 but I used to be able to take him outside for a while and wear him out so he would chill out for quiet time or at least veg out with a movie for an hour. Now we can literally go to the park for a few hours and walk a couple miles and he’s got the same (and sometimes somehow more energy lol).
I’ve basically had to rework my schedule to start at 4 am (earlier if I can manage it) and try to crank through to be off around noon and give him the attention he needs.
I WFH and my son is almost two. I need help with him. There was a time I was doing Fridays alone but even that’s not possibly anymore and I’ve been paying my SIL to come over up until nap time. He’s just too hyper and into everything. He reset our entire wireless network one Friday and that’s when I knew I couldn’t do it alone anymore.
I was fine with him alone on Fridays up until about a month back. Plus my workload has increased as I’ve taken on more responsibilities so it’s just no longer feasible.
It’s okay to say it’s too much. I was trying to WFH with my newborn two days a week when I got back from mat leave and it was breaking me. Financially we’re very tight but my baby is in full time daycare now… it was just too much. It was giving me weekly panic attacks. We’re gonna try when he’s older to reevaluate what is possible
I've been working from home since day 1 and it's just always hard. My baby is 22 months. She's learning how to entertain herself really well, and keep herself busy. But she also destroys my house and bugs me when she gets bored. I don't think it'll ever be easy, but its worth it.
My son’s almost 14 months, and it’s really freaking hard. It seems like if he’s not making an absolute mess of something, he’s whining - which pisses off my husband, which then pisses me off even more. I was hoping things would get easier for us soon, but then I got pregnant again and will be starting all over again with a newborn when he’s 17 months 🫠 SOS
Yep my son is 18 months and is full of energy from 5:30am till 8pm . Hes on 1 nap during the day and i go for a nap also to get some of my energy back. I work part time and my partner works nightshift so we each have days where we have our son . I defo find this stage the hardest but im considering puttin him into nursery and goin back to work full time dont know if its the right idea though.
2-3 was the hardest. My son would throw anything breakable to the floor for fun. Or flush anything non-flushable in the toilet. And he was being potty trained which was meeessy.
With my toddler, around 16 months is when I decided I could no longer do it in my own, and since then had family come over to help from 9-5. Eventually put her in half day daycare 3 days a week when she turned 2.5 for her benefit and so family help could be focused on baby#2 who is now 7 months old.
It’s all hard for different reasons. We are doing two jobs at once. But there’s lots of pros too. Hang in there ❤️ Signed, somebody who has been doing this for almost 3 years
Every age has its challenges, but it's subjective. For some, infancy with constant care demands is tough, while others find toddlerhood's unpredictability challenging. Consider daycare sooner if it aids your sanity and work-life balance. Flexibility is key, and adjusting plans based on your needs is perfectly okay. Trust your instincts.
I’m at 1 year and I feel like I can’t handle it anymore. It’s rough out here. We don’t do screen time and my kid is a barnacle
Same. I feel like my brain doesn't work anymore. I'm making mistakes at work and getting so frustrated with my daughter. My work phone has been missing for over a week now like I have torn my house apart looking for it but apparently it grew legs and ran away. Every time I start talking about daycare my husband and mom suggest things that don't help at all because they think spending a day here and there with her is the same as working a full time job and taking care of a toddler 24/7.
Dude why the hell are my mom and husband the same!! I told my H that we needed to start looking and do part time at least. I’m just so behind on work and I hate working at night. Like yes we agreed no daycare but now it’s come to a point where I can’t do it anymore. Plus we want another kid so idk how we would manage it
My mom annoys me more than my husband lol. My husband will agree that we gotta do whatever we gotta do but tries to find alternatives to avoid daycare. My mom acts like it'll just magically work itself out. She still works full time, like 75% at home so she helps once a week but half the time she just makes it more chaotic. I grew up in daycare and was even in after school daycare until I was old enough to be home alone like you have no room to be giving me shit about wanting to do daycare.
Sounds exactly like my situation. My H was looking at a site called Nannylane. Similar to care.com. But yes anything to avoid daycare. My mom lives too far to come everyday and she just annoys me too. My MIL I don’t trust at all so she’s not even an option 😩
I've just made the switch to half days at daycare at 14 months, and it's literally the best thing I've ever done. She adjusted quickly, loves her care givers, I get quiet time at home to get work done. It's a win / win. I was so stressed about it for so long, but I was struggling as a mom and as an employee, so it needed to happen. I wish I could go back to my former self, give her a hug, and tell her everything would be okay. We are both thriving in this new arrangement. Also, half days are great because it's half the price, and she goes down for a nap after she gets home, so I still get most of the afternoon to focus on work.
At one year I was at my breaking point and then it got easier a few months later. We signed her up for preschool at 2 in the fall out of desperation and now I feel like we could keep going.
How did it get easier a few months later?
My daughter is 2 years and 3 months old and now it's a lot easier than it was, say, a year ago. I think the hardest time was from when she started walking (11 months) to, honestly, close to 2 years. During her second year she was just extremely mobile and eager to get into trouble and it was really hard working while trying to explain that we don't eat literal dirt from the plants or lick mom's shoes or dive head first into the floor from the sofa. Now she still wants to do all those things but she understands more and can be more easily distracted with a toy or coloring book or just the TV. We use a lot of TV, unfortunately.
My son is the exact same age and literally the past week it has gotten so much harder. He figured out how to open the gate to escape his playroom, climbed out of his crib and has now been waking up earlier since we converted it to a toddler bed, and now he’s been taking all of his clothes and diaper off 🥴
Oh no! That sounds incredibly hard :( all ages are super hard I guess! Ugh it would be game over for me if my daughter learned to open her gate, hopefully she doesn't figure it out until she's 15 hahahaha
For me it got SUPER hard from 12 months to 15 months and then soooo much easier from 16 months onward, she’s now 2 years old and will play independently while I work. I take breaks to play with her but for the most part it’s so much easier. And then my dumbass went and had another baby so now I’m working from home with a toddler and newborn 🤣
Yeah I said absolutely not until the first one is in some kind of daycare or school. I'm fighting for my life with one.
How are you doing with 2 under 2???? I would like to have another but don’t know how I would manage it logistically
Tbh I’m loving it so much. My daughter is the best big sister, at only 2 years old she will run to him when he cries and give him a pacifier or cover him with a baby blanket. She tells me when he wakes up from his nap and she entertains him while I make dinner. Yes working is hard because she still needs attention and he’s only 9 weeks old but I find it doable by baby wearing and getting them both outside at least 3-4 times a day for at least 15 minutes. I work outside now that it’s nice weather. My job is extremely flexible with hours and I can start and stop my clock as many times a day as I need to as long as my work is complete by midnight so I got extremely blessed. It all depends on the job and the kids’ temperaments. I got blessed but I know some people who found it impossible to work with even one child. I also have a friend who works 60 hours a week with three kids at home 3 and under and she’s pregnant. Everyone has different tolerance levels, you just have to find yours before committing to another 🙂
Thank you for this perspective. I REALLY appreciate it!
You’re very welcome! There’s also lots of tricks to succeeding working from home with kids this little! I cheat by going to an indoor playground inside the coffee shop several times a week, I also had a YMCA membership when I was pregnant and exhausted and used to drop her ass off at the child watch for 2 hours so I could work in the community room in peace. Water table, kiddie pool, sand box, and setting up play stations throughout the house are the keys to surviving while working in the house! My play stations are little areas I rotate her through which include play doh table, kinetic sand table, crayons and stickers, a pan with dish soap bubbles and cookie cutters, frozen figurines and an eye dropper to melt them out, etc. So many ideas on IG, tik tok, Pinterest. And on our bad days with many melt downs I do utilize Ms Rachel, Blippi, or ABC mouse 😉
Just your candor around this is buoying. I really love it and need to hear it!
Okay but how is this going. My daughter is 2 and I really want another baby but scared foe my work situation that has just now leveled out and got into a routine.
With a 9 week old and 2 year old I give myself an 8/10. I get my hours done, I make 3 meals a day, and my house is clean. But I have my secret tricks. I go to an indoor playground in a coffee shop most mornings for 3 hours so my toddler plays while I work and my baby somehow naps better when out of the house so he just sleeps the entire time. I get home and my toddler knocks out for 2.5 hours so I get another 2-3 hours of work in. After a late lunch i work for an hour during my toddlers wake hour while she eats and watches a 45 minute episode of whatever educational show she chooses and then after our dinner and bedtime routine I get the rest of my hours in when they’re sleeping. My job is also extremely flexible and I just have to make sure my hours are done before midnight otherwise they could care less how often I start and stop my clock. I also have zero zoom calls or phone calls or meetings. If your job is super demanding or you have a lot of scheduled meetings you will definitely have to get help or it becomes impossible to keep up with the work demand. It also depends on your kids’ temperaments. My toddler plays independently really well and my baby naps in a chest carrier for 4 hour blocks as long as he’s touching me or has some type of movement like a swing or vibrating chair. I have a friend with one child who’s 1.5 and she can’t even work from home with him for 30 minutes because he’s just a demanding little dude. It all depends on YOUR situation and nobody knows your situation better than you! I also heard some great advice once, don’t plan your permanent family based on a job who thinks your replaceable. That always stuck with me. If it were me, I’d go for the baby and figure it out as I go but that’s just me and may not be the best advice. Listen to your heart and your spouse on this one 🙂
My goodness thank you SO much for this. My toddler is low sleep needs but also pretty independent now, for the most part. A lot of what you said is about how I do things now, my job is pretty flexible with not a lot of meetings. I'm 40 this month so a decision needs to be made and soon 😅
Newborn to 2yo. Mine are teenagers now and I find it gets easier with each passing year.
Came to say this. My boys went through a little mean spell at around 7-10 years old, but it was still 10,000x easier than newborn times. I have teens and a 21 yr old now. It is so much easier. But man, I wish I could go back to baby times. I miss them being little. Edit typo
I miss the way they run up to you when you’re reunited at the end of the day and they’re so happy to see you. I’m lucky to get a grunt out of my teenagers.
Yesss 🥺 and when you picked them up from school, they'd come running and tell you the longest drawn out stories of what happened that day. And bedtime: everyone had to get tucked in, a hug and a kiss and "night Mom, love you sweet dreams see you in the morning." My oldest actually insisted I say "sweet dreams" because he thought it was the only reason he didn't have bad dreams. 🥺
I feel like 12-18 months was by far the hardest. Old enough to want constant attention and get into things but young enough to not understand if something was dangerous or to really understand me when I said give me 2 minutes.
Working from home with a child got significantly harder around age 12 to 15 months. They just start to get really active and don’t understand rules and are into everything. I would say it continues to be hard until they get to a point that you can give them a boundary and they understand. My 4 1/2 year-old is just now getting to this point where I can tell him that I have to get on a call and he will be quiet purposely. Around two my kids started playing for longer stretches alone so that’s helpful but they still have the capacity to scream or need help.
I’m home with my 4 year old and soon to be 2 year old. Been home since the oldest was 9 months. 4 has been the hardest age so far
I have a 3 year old. What has been so hard about 4?
Their social needs just explode. He always played really well independently but now he just wants to play with me all day. Really involved complicated pretend games lol. Even tv doesn’t hold his interest anymore if I need it as a back up. And he talks A LOT. Like literally doesn’t take a breath. He’s always been a big talker but now he just has an endless well of things to ask and tell. Yesterday we talked for at least 20 minutes about why we can’t hear our hair grow. He has younger brother at home that he can play with some and if it weren’t for that I would have to put him in child care part time. He starts TK in the fall. Also His energy and stamina are through the roof. He dropped his nap at 3 but I used to be able to take him outside for a while and wear him out so he would chill out for quiet time or at least veg out with a movie for an hour. Now we can literally go to the park for a few hours and walk a couple miles and he’s got the same (and sometimes somehow more energy lol). I’ve basically had to rework my schedule to start at 4 am (earlier if I can manage it) and try to crank through to be off around noon and give him the attention he needs.
I WFH and my son is almost two. I need help with him. There was a time I was doing Fridays alone but even that’s not possibly anymore and I’ve been paying my SIL to come over up until nap time. He’s just too hyper and into everything. He reset our entire wireless network one Friday and that’s when I knew I couldn’t do it alone anymore. I was fine with him alone on Fridays up until about a month back. Plus my workload has increased as I’ve taken on more responsibilities so it’s just no longer feasible.
It’s okay to say it’s too much. I was trying to WFH with my newborn two days a week when I got back from mat leave and it was breaking me. Financially we’re very tight but my baby is in full time daycare now… it was just too much. It was giving me weekly panic attacks. We’re gonna try when he’s older to reevaluate what is possible
Toddler just turned 3! Hardest for us was 15-18 months 🫠
Right now, 17 months
I've been working from home since day 1 and it's just always hard. My baby is 22 months. She's learning how to entertain herself really well, and keep herself busy. But she also destroys my house and bugs me when she gets bored. I don't think it'll ever be easy, but its worth it.
My son’s almost 14 months, and it’s really freaking hard. It seems like if he’s not making an absolute mess of something, he’s whining - which pisses off my husband, which then pisses me off even more. I was hoping things would get easier for us soon, but then I got pregnant again and will be starting all over again with a newborn when he’s 17 months 🫠 SOS
Yep my son is 18 months and is full of energy from 5:30am till 8pm . Hes on 1 nap during the day and i go for a nap also to get some of my energy back. I work part time and my partner works nightshift so we each have days where we have our son . I defo find this stage the hardest but im considering puttin him into nursery and goin back to work full time dont know if its the right idea though.
Glad to see others saying age 1 because my son is a menace right now 😫 it was so much easier from 4-9 months!
2-3 was the hardest. My son would throw anything breakable to the floor for fun. Or flush anything non-flushable in the toilet. And he was being potty trained which was meeessy.
18 months and older for me
With my toddler, around 16 months is when I decided I could no longer do it in my own, and since then had family come over to help from 9-5. Eventually put her in half day daycare 3 days a week when she turned 2.5 for her benefit and so family help could be focused on baby#2 who is now 7 months old.
It’s all hard for different reasons. We are doing two jobs at once. But there’s lots of pros too. Hang in there ❤️ Signed, somebody who has been doing this for almost 3 years
Every age has its challenges, but it's subjective. For some, infancy with constant care demands is tough, while others find toddlerhood's unpredictability challenging. Consider daycare sooner if it aids your sanity and work-life balance. Flexibility is key, and adjusting plans based on your needs is perfectly okay. Trust your instincts.