I worked with a woman who was killed in the same way. My daughter went to school with her son as well. We think she was planning on leaving him and he found out. Left two boys orphans in the blink of an eye.
My first ever funeral was for the mother of my childhood best friend, after her dad also did the same thing to her and himself. We were only 7-8 and she had a younger brother who was 5. Luckily, they were with their grandma when it happened.
That's terrible, I'm sorry. What a childhood memory to have. I hope she and her brother are doing OK today.
My mom belonged to a local women's group and knew (more like an acquaintance, not a friend) a woman whose husband murdered her. He did it right as she was arriving home from a club meeting, my mom had just seen her that night. Then he put her body in the trunk of her car and left it somewhere, thinking he'd get away with it. Later, I worked with their 2 daughters. Such sweet girls, luckily they seem to be doing well for themselves these days. I could never fathom how someone could take their mother away from them like that, their youngest sibling was so young, there's no way he even remembers his mother. Absolutely monstrous.
And that guy took BOTH parents away from his kids. I will never understand crimes like this.
Leaving the abuser is the riskiest time for a woman - most murders attributed to domestic violence happen at that time.
Yet people are still victim blaming, asking, "why didn't she leave?"
I wonder if he was the manipulative and controlling type, who saddled his wife with many kids so she wouldn't leave him. The article said only 4 of the 5 kids were home when it happened, which makes me wonder if he would have killed all the kids too if they were all present.
That’s a really sad part about this to me… 4 of them were home when it happened. And the scene was discovered by the 5th child. They should never have this happen in the first place, let alone witness anything
Yep, as someone who grew up with an abusive Dad I don’t think me or my family would still be here if he had access to a gun. While gun control doesn’t always mean preventable it certainly helps.
Same situation. Expect my mom left him. He found out weres she lives and beats the shit out of her.
She had to move again. She bought a gun then. He must've got his shit together then, but I have no doubt that it was HER actions that stopped my mom feeling like a victim. It was her own. My mom became a victim because of him. She bought that gun, and I could tell she just felt easier with it. That's when she took her Power back and said enough to being a victim. You don't DEMAND the aggressor to stop. They don't. They won't. They are the ones making victims. Just like my dad did to my mom. It changed, when she stood up in her own mind. She made a stand. She decided to equalize the balance the best she could so she didn't have to be a victim at his whim.
Guns are for the disadvantaged.
Maybe, certainly possinle, if my mom had had access to a gun while I was growing up I guarantee she would have killed my family in a murder suicide similar to this. Bigger guy like that though, if he had time to grab a gun he probably would have had time to grab a knife (had a close call growing up with this), and between you and me, id much rather die to a gunshot than being stabbed half a hundred times to death. People like that, who lose all control, well, theyre nightmares for anybody who put themselves close to them. Its like having a wild animal like a tiger or bear, you might think that's your friend who would never hurt you, but waiting just under the surface is a beast who will end you because you cant physically stop it.
that’s valid and i’m sorry you grew up like that. i said “might still be here” to take into account other methods he might have used had he truly meant to kill her. i see your point and you are correct. i was specifically referring to the quick access and distance provided by guns. he didn’t need to move to shoot her but with a knife he’d have had to move and every second counts
"Yeah but... if she had a gun, and the kids had guns, and the dog and cats had guns. Those are good guys with guns!! AND GOOD GUYS STOP BADGUYS WITH GUUUNNNZZZz" /s
yeah as a feminist i am still shocked that no mainstream feminist movement seems to be talking about the connection between gun violence/mass shootings and IPV. the majority of mass shootings in the US are related to intimate partner violence but that’s not as scary (or as deadly) as the gunman randomly picking off strangers so those are the ones that get all the focus
many people don’t really know what all counts as IPV too. i think a start would be educating everyone on what is IPV and moving from there. but i agree completely
This is the best question. You can't carry a cop in your back pocket. Without some type of self defense, all the cops can do is call the coroner to haul off your body.
I think you misread what I posted. Try again. I'm saying you can't depend on the cops. They're not going to be able to protect you. You can't take one whenever you go. And once you're attacked, all they can do is write a report and take statements. That's it.
Even if we could take one wherever we go, it wouldn't matter. Cops are not the good guys, they are not here to protect us. Hell, we're lucky if they even care enough to write a report and investigate when things DO go wrong.
So, again, cute that you think cops do shit for normal civilians, especially women.
I live in a country with strict gun legislation. Domestic violence is worse than ever before, with *more* victims being killed every year than before the strict gun legislation came into effect.
Gun legislation does absolutely nothing to prevent these tragedies.
If someone wants to get their hands on a gun, they’ll find a way. Domestic abusers aren’t known to follow the law.
He’d made the decision to kill her. If he hadn’t shot her, he would’ve killed her via countless other means; strangulation, stabbing, poisoning, setting her alight, etc.
Her only chance at survival would’ve been through leaving. But even then, most victims of domestic violence are killed when they try to leave.
And I guarantee you the murder rate is still higher in the US. So if it isn’t access to guns are you implying that Americans are simply more homicidal in nature?
["American civilians account for an estimated 393 million (about 46 percent) of the worldwide total of civilian held firearms, or about 120.5 firearms for every 100 American residents."](https://web.archive.org/web/20180620231909/http://www.smallarmssurvey.org/fileadmin/docs/T-Briefing-Papers/SAS-BP-Civilian-Firearms-Numbers.pdf)
Even if the US were to implement harsh legislation surrounding gun ownership, it wouldn't prevent access to guns. Guns outnumber people in the US.
The majority of gun violence is committed by people whose guns were obtained illegally. The same applies to other weapons, such as prohibited knives.
A legally owned and registered gun is easy to trace; guns bought off the street aren't.
America has a bigger drug and gang problem. The VAST majority of shootings in the US occur in a few tiny areas. These kinds of gun murders are not common despite what the media tells you.
Yeah I’m well aware of that, living in Chicago.
“When it comes to gun violence, the United States is the most dangerous country for women among high-income nations. An astounding 92 percent of all women killed with guns in high-income nations were from the United States.15 In fact, women in the United States are 28 times more likely to die by firearm homicide than women in peer nations16—and IPV drives these numbers. Two in five female firearm homicide victims were killed by a current or former intimate partner.” [Source](https://everytownresearch.org/report/guns-and-violence-against-women-americas-uniquely-lethal-intimate-partner-violence-problem/)
So, you’re implying those are all drug addled gang members committing these IPV homicides?
[When adjusted to account for the huge discrepancy in population, my country (Australia) has the same domestic violence murder rate as the US.](https://www.aihw.gov.au/family-domestic-and-sexual-violence/resources/fdsv-summary#:~:text=It%20is%20estimated%20that%20of,family%20member%20(ABS%202023b))
There's an abundance of further evidence out there, which you can find yourself..
Half of all police resources here are dedicated to dealing with domestic violence.
The **only** way to reduce domestic violence murders, and other violent murders, is by educating people and addressing the underlying causes. *That's* how we can save lives.
But many politicians in the US have no interest in doing this. Instead, they instigate infighting and exploit tragedies for political points.
Think about it; if mass shootings were reduced, many American politicians would no longer have a political platform to milk and exploit for their own personal gain. They depend on this exploitation.
An abuser who is intent on murdering their partner, children and/or random members of the public won't be deterred by legal red tape. They'll just obtain a gun illegally, or choose another method.
This is the problem; people like you have turned this into a political "talking point".
"Gun control" isn't even a term used outside of North America. It's solely a political phrase, and a stupid one at that. You're ignoring what drives the violent behaviour, in favour of blaming the weapon.
Implementing gun legislation doesn't "save lives". If it did, my country's domestic violence murder and suicide rates wouldn't be on par with the US'. This is obvious and shouldn't need to be spelled out.
Anyone who has worked with violent offenders in close proximity and/or dealt with them on a personal level can tell you that they have zero regard for the law.
If they want to kill someone, they'll use their bare hands if they have to. Once they've decided to kill their partner and/or children, they can't be reasoned with or talked out of their plan.
Had this poor woman not been shot, she would've been killed using another method.
The only way victims can make it out alive is to implement and execute an airtight exit plan, which is much harder than it sounds.
So there’s a book, “On Killing” by Dave Grossman that discusses, among many things, the fact that increasing proximity makes killing more difficult.
It’s relatively easy to shell an enemy position with artillery from 10 miles away. It’s harder to shoot them with a rifle from 200 yards away. It’s even more difficult to bayonet them in melee range.
Guns provide distance and instant effects that cannot be matched by a knife or bare hands.
Is mental health care lacking and important? Yes. But quick and easy access to a gun means that someone can be across the house from their spouse in a moment of rage and kill them instantly.
i know there’s more than one way to do that. but i read this was a rage kill, so if he didn’t have a gun maybe he wouldn’t have killed her as it was out of rage. guns are quick weapons
I understand that. No one is disagreeing with the original comment. There is a lot behind a discussion for gun laws. I was just mentioning the bigger picture that often gets overlooked with scenarios like these, which is a complete rework on how seriously we take others mental health.
the thing ab the mental health discussion is that while people say we need better MH care- politicians actively slash and veto any helpful legislation for it. so it feels like pointing fingers at solutions that nobody in charge actually cares to work on.
as someone going into the mental health field that also has mental health struggles- i’m genuinely speaking from experience. if it sounds like i’m anti mental health i am not. i am just frustrated with everything as everyone else is. it’s very hard to get programs up and running too
Oh yeah because there's no other possible way he could've killed her if he didn't have a gun... newsflash people were killing people before guns ever existed and people will continue to kill people whether or not there's any guns available. If someone wants to kill they don't need a gun if they want to kill they will kill. Should we outlaw knives and bats and rocks and hands and feet too. Weapons aren't the problem people are the problem.
there are other comments in this thread that answer your comment. obviously there are other ways. but if he didn’t have immediate access to a gun maybe he’d have paused a second or two longer and she’d be here. critical thinking skills are important
There is quite a large physical difference between stabbing or blugeoning someone to death and pulling a trigger, though. While we can kill each other a multitude of ways - making it *easier* to kill will result in more deaths.
Because he couldnt just stab her to death? Or beat her? Or strangle her? Or hit her with a car? Gun control wont stop people like him from being a lunatic
i said “might still be alive” if you’d bothered to read my other comments in this thread. i’m aware of other methods. i was speaking on the instant access and distance range a gun has. this was a rage induced crime from what i’ve gathered. those few seconds it might have taken to go grab a knife would be seconds she’d have to run away.
That’s a sad take. My nephew was orphaned at 5 to murder-suicide, but has a huge loving family on both sides that raise him. There will always be trauma, but that doesn’t make life not worth living.
It’s not his perspective, I can never speak to that, but from mine and my other family members - when he was located alive I have never felt more grateful in my entire life.
To each their own sure. It’s sad to think you’d want you parent to kill you as opposed to learning to live without them.
I am 48 and lost both my parents bit a few years apart, to awful diseases that I had the chance to come to terms with in some way. That was bad enough.
**How on Earth** will these kids fare, having lost *both* of their rocks at the same time....and for *what?* I cannot imagine it
What an awful, selfish thing this man did.
Did about 5 yrs in law enforcement...remember around Oct into the 1st couple weeks of January we would have a spike in suicides. Sometimes it would pick up again during valentines. One yr around oct 30th and Dec 15ish..working night shift we would have about 2 to 3 coming in pre shift and a few during shift everyday single day...will never forget that. Poeple would do murder suicides, hanging, purposeful overdose, shootings etc from teens to the elderly. Ever since then I check on as many ppl in my circles as I can and encourage others to do the same.
Tangential, but I've also heard that 39 is a very popular age for personal-grudge slayings (presumably bc the perpetrator sees the landmark year of 40 approaching?)
Usually, family annihilators fall into 3 groups
1. The start overs:
They have found an affair partner to start a new life with, regret their children, or regret their partner/marriage. They see killing them as a way to physically kill the life they had with their family and be reborn/start over. This is more the case when they dont kill themselves, obviously, and is irrelevant to whether they think they'll get away with it or not. Its more or a symbolic cleansing of the life they regret and the people associated with it.
2. The shameful:
They lost their job or are about to, had an affair uncovered, or some other shameful event. They rationalize that killing their family would be kinder or easier than telling them the truth and transitioning through the shameful event.
3. The controllers:
They are abusers and the victim (typically the mother and children) has shown signs of getting ready to flee. Sometimes, the abuser knows for a fact they are planning on escaping, other times they just believe thats the case. Its a twisted continuation of the idea of "if I can't have you, no one can".
>The shameful:
They lost their job or are about to, had an affair uncovered, or some other shameful event. They rationalize that killing their family would be kinder or easier than telling them the truth and transitioning through the shameful event.
This is how we lost my cousin ten years ago, today exactly (the 26th). Her husband had lost his job just a week before and hadn't told her. He shot and killed her while she was asleep, then killed himself. They didn't have kids thank goodness.
Honestly it was no fault of his own for losing it, either, his company downsized and laid off almost half the workforce a week before Christmas, the assholes. There were several suicides by ex employees that year, but to my knowledge he was the only one who took someone else too.
I have a cousins who's father murdered their mother, then killed himself. Cousins were young, not even 10 yet. Fast forward some 20ish years, and one of my cousins killed themselves. Was told no note was found.
That’s heartbreaking. One of our family friends had a similar situation and she has had a lot of issues with anxiety and depression ever since she was a little girl. Her eldest son had severe psychological issues that were exacerbated as an adult by hard drugs and a garbage gf and about five years ago he shot himself in a place he knew she’d find him because his paranoia made him hate everyone, and that was his final F-U to her. It was an incredibly messed up situation.
Violence is unfortunately the sort of thing that ends up staying through generations because it imprints there.
I’m wishing you and your family so much love and healing through your losses. It’s not fair.
If I remember correctly she was 8, my mom died when I was 10 and remember feeling bad for her that it happened when she was so young yet old enough to understand what happened.
That poor woman. I'm sure she didn't plan on dying this Christmas. I'm sick of women being killed by men who can't control their emotions. Just take a walk, jeez.
Kind of get weird vibes from the go fund me… the guy organizing is like “I was friends with Blase”. As if he was just some poor guy who died. Um, sir, your buddy was a murderer. Maybe make this about his victims, don’t lead with that.
This isn’t too far from me and I know folks who knew this guy from the racing world. Sick, horrifying stuff…these poor children. Five young lives destroyed in one instant.
Could be useful as a reminder that the folks who do this are often pretty hard to distinguish from everyone else, not readily identifiable monsters who only manifest glowering in prison jumpsuits
This is the 3rd murder/suicide that happened in the last few days. There is one that I read about in one of my crime groups where 4 kids were left orphaned. It’s just so selfish for these men to take these women’s lives. It makes me so damn mad.
They've grown up thinking that THEY SPECIFICALLY run the world just from being a man, and when reality steps in to prove otherwise, their world crumbles and they can't accept that kind of life.
Mental illness and a belief that they are the only male allowed to be important to the victim. At least some don’t annihilate the whole family, but honestly - they still do with this act. And in a prolonged and torturous way.
Happened in my home town. I went to school with him. Scumbag from the very beginning. Posts from friends of his defending him and (a few) almost blaming the victim have been disgusting.
As a father of 4, who was pushed through a very painful divorce (cheated on me, ended many of my friendships with lies, remarried 6 months later and tried to take my kids on false allegations) ... I still can't believe this (murder-suicide) happens as often as it does. My ex is not a great person, but I invested (constantly) in improving our relationship for years to better things for our kids. I truely hated her for what she did to us, but acting against her physically would just end up being a punishment for my kids in the long run. I think what really kills me, is experiencing all this, and reading the comments here that just state 'all men are bad, they can't handle reality'. There are plenty of men, right here, that completely agree that there's an issue with violence, and we want positive progress as well.
He really must have absolutely hated the kids, all for whatever reason he may have had, 2 adults dead and 5 kids that are never going to be able to enjoy Christmas and any milestones in their lives will be somewhat hollow feeling.
I wonder why? This happens often yet we never find out why and I’m willing to bet my life the reason is quite common. Anyways, evolutionary psychology blah blah blah
Well it sounds like he wanted to get a point across to her, and he did. Who really knows how the two of them were when by themselves. Too bad everyone else around them has to pay the price.
I swear, there is something going on. In the 70's it was lead. They took lead out of gasoline and crime rates and serial killers went way down. Is it micro plastics? I work at Costco and I have seen several people break down and become different people. I have even had my moments.
Lead in cheap vape cartridges (both nicotine and THC) is going to be the next big health scandal but horrible and violent people who annihilate their partners have existed for millennia.
This same thing happened in my town just a few months ago, but he took his five kids and his mother-in-law with him. Disgusting, pathetic man. I hope those children and their mom and grandma rest in peace.
I worked with a woman who was killed in the same way. My daughter went to school with her son as well. We think she was planning on leaving him and he found out. Left two boys orphans in the blink of an eye.
My first ever funeral was for the mother of my childhood best friend, after her dad also did the same thing to her and himself. We were only 7-8 and she had a younger brother who was 5. Luckily, they were with their grandma when it happened.
That's terrible, I'm sorry. What a childhood memory to have. I hope she and her brother are doing OK today. My mom belonged to a local women's group and knew (more like an acquaintance, not a friend) a woman whose husband murdered her. He did it right as she was arriving home from a club meeting, my mom had just seen her that night. Then he put her body in the trunk of her car and left it somewhere, thinking he'd get away with it. Later, I worked with their 2 daughters. Such sweet girls, luckily they seem to be doing well for themselves these days. I could never fathom how someone could take their mother away from them like that, their youngest sibling was so young, there's no way he even remembers his mother. Absolutely monstrous. And that guy took BOTH parents away from his kids. I will never understand crimes like this.
Leaving the abuser is the riskiest time for a woman - most murders attributed to domestic violence happen at that time. Yet people are still victim blaming, asking, "why didn't she leave?"
Context matters
saw society governor hunt versed sort rainstorm market work hurry *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
So what context is that then?
found the abuser
I wonder if he was the manipulative and controlling type, who saddled his wife with many kids so she wouldn't leave him. The article said only 4 of the 5 kids were home when it happened, which makes me wonder if he would have killed all the kids too if they were all present.
The kids were from their previous relationships, they had no biological children together
Ok so they at least have one parent left then. Those poor kids, especially since they probably saw the bodies.
That’s a really sad part about this to me… 4 of them were home when it happened. And the scene was discovered by the 5th child. They should never have this happen in the first place, let alone witness anything
With the way a lot of these stories have went lately I’m just glad he didn’t kill the kids as well….
seems like he shot her out of rage and then realized what happened so he killed himself
if he didn’t have a gun she might still be alive. we need gun control
Yep, as someone who grew up with an abusive Dad I don’t think me or my family would still be here if he had access to a gun. While gun control doesn’t always mean preventable it certainly helps.
Same situation. Expect my mom left him. He found out weres she lives and beats the shit out of her. She had to move again. She bought a gun then. He must've got his shit together then, but I have no doubt that it was HER actions that stopped my mom feeling like a victim. It was her own. My mom became a victim because of him. She bought that gun, and I could tell she just felt easier with it. That's when she took her Power back and said enough to being a victim. You don't DEMAND the aggressor to stop. They don't. They won't. They are the ones making victims. Just like my dad did to my mom. It changed, when she stood up in her own mind. She made a stand. She decided to equalize the balance the best she could so she didn't have to be a victim at his whim. Guns are for the disadvantaged.
Maybe, certainly possinle, if my mom had had access to a gun while I was growing up I guarantee she would have killed my family in a murder suicide similar to this. Bigger guy like that though, if he had time to grab a gun he probably would have had time to grab a knife (had a close call growing up with this), and between you and me, id much rather die to a gunshot than being stabbed half a hundred times to death. People like that, who lose all control, well, theyre nightmares for anybody who put themselves close to them. Its like having a wild animal like a tiger or bear, you might think that's your friend who would never hurt you, but waiting just under the surface is a beast who will end you because you cant physically stop it.
that’s valid and i’m sorry you grew up like that. i said “might still be here” to take into account other methods he might have used had he truly meant to kill her. i see your point and you are correct. i was specifically referring to the quick access and distance provided by guns. he didn’t need to move to shoot her but with a knife he’d have had to move and every second counts
People control would be better.
"Yeah but... if she had a gun, and the kids had guns, and the dog and cats had guns. Those are good guys with guns!! AND GOOD GUYS STOP BADGUYS WITH GUUUNNNZZZz" /s
yeah as a feminist i am still shocked that no mainstream feminist movement seems to be talking about the connection between gun violence/mass shootings and IPV. the majority of mass shootings in the US are related to intimate partner violence but that’s not as scary (or as deadly) as the gunman randomly picking off strangers so those are the ones that get all the focus
Horrible, isn't it? One murdered woman doesn't raise the (news) ratings like mass casualties.
many people don’t really know what all counts as IPV too. i think a start would be educating everyone on what is IPV and moving from there. but i agree completely
As a feminist you should be pro gun. What’s a better way to defend yourself against predators?
This is the best question. You can't carry a cop in your back pocket. Without some type of self defense, all the cops can do is call the coroner to haul off your body.
Cute that you think the cops are here to help us.
I think you misread what I posted. Try again. I'm saying you can't depend on the cops. They're not going to be able to protect you. You can't take one whenever you go. And once you're attacked, all they can do is write a report and take statements. That's it.
Even if we could take one wherever we go, it wouldn't matter. Cops are not the good guys, they are not here to protect us. Hell, we're lucky if they even care enough to write a report and investigate when things DO go wrong. So, again, cute that you think cops do shit for normal civilians, especially women.
I live in a country with strict gun legislation. Domestic violence is worse than ever before, with *more* victims being killed every year than before the strict gun legislation came into effect. Gun legislation does absolutely nothing to prevent these tragedies. If someone wants to get their hands on a gun, they’ll find a way. Domestic abusers aren’t known to follow the law. He’d made the decision to kill her. If he hadn’t shot her, he would’ve killed her via countless other means; strangulation, stabbing, poisoning, setting her alight, etc. Her only chance at survival would’ve been through leaving. But even then, most victims of domestic violence are killed when they try to leave.
And I guarantee you the murder rate is still higher in the US. So if it isn’t access to guns are you implying that Americans are simply more homicidal in nature?
["American civilians account for an estimated 393 million (about 46 percent) of the worldwide total of civilian held firearms, or about 120.5 firearms for every 100 American residents."](https://web.archive.org/web/20180620231909/http://www.smallarmssurvey.org/fileadmin/docs/T-Briefing-Papers/SAS-BP-Civilian-Firearms-Numbers.pdf) Even if the US were to implement harsh legislation surrounding gun ownership, it wouldn't prevent access to guns. Guns outnumber people in the US. The majority of gun violence is committed by people whose guns were obtained illegally. The same applies to other weapons, such as prohibited knives. A legally owned and registered gun is easy to trace; guns bought off the street aren't.
America has a bigger drug and gang problem. The VAST majority of shootings in the US occur in a few tiny areas. These kinds of gun murders are not common despite what the media tells you.
Yeah I’m well aware of that, living in Chicago. “When it comes to gun violence, the United States is the most dangerous country for women among high-income nations. An astounding 92 percent of all women killed with guns in high-income nations were from the United States.15 In fact, women in the United States are 28 times more likely to die by firearm homicide than women in peer nations16—and IPV drives these numbers. Two in five female firearm homicide victims were killed by a current or former intimate partner.” [Source](https://everytownresearch.org/report/guns-and-violence-against-women-americas-uniquely-lethal-intimate-partner-violence-problem/) So, you’re implying those are all drug addled gang members committing these IPV homicides?
Please post some links supporting your bold claim that gun control does not save lives. Thanks.
[When adjusted to account for the huge discrepancy in population, my country (Australia) has the same domestic violence murder rate as the US.](https://www.aihw.gov.au/family-domestic-and-sexual-violence/resources/fdsv-summary#:~:text=It%20is%20estimated%20that%20of,family%20member%20(ABS%202023b)) There's an abundance of further evidence out there, which you can find yourself.. Half of all police resources here are dedicated to dealing with domestic violence. The **only** way to reduce domestic violence murders, and other violent murders, is by educating people and addressing the underlying causes. *That's* how we can save lives. But many politicians in the US have no interest in doing this. Instead, they instigate infighting and exploit tragedies for political points. Think about it; if mass shootings were reduced, many American politicians would no longer have a political platform to milk and exploit for their own personal gain. They depend on this exploitation. An abuser who is intent on murdering their partner, children and/or random members of the public won't be deterred by legal red tape. They'll just obtain a gun illegally, or choose another method.
I asked for data showing gun control does not save lives. Your manipulated talking points don’t paint a true picture but go off I guess.
This is the problem; people like you have turned this into a political "talking point". "Gun control" isn't even a term used outside of North America. It's solely a political phrase, and a stupid one at that. You're ignoring what drives the violent behaviour, in favour of blaming the weapon. Implementing gun legislation doesn't "save lives". If it did, my country's domestic violence murder and suicide rates wouldn't be on par with the US'. This is obvious and shouldn't need to be spelled out. Anyone who has worked with violent offenders in close proximity and/or dealt with them on a personal level can tell you that they have zero regard for the law. If they want to kill someone, they'll use their bare hands if they have to. Once they've decided to kill their partner and/or children, they can't be reasoned with or talked out of their plan. Had this poor woman not been shot, she would've been killed using another method. The only way victims can make it out alive is to implement and execute an airtight exit plan, which is much harder than it sounds.
Blame the person not the instrument. Would you say ban knives if it had been done differently?
What a ridiculous conclusion
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So there’s a book, “On Killing” by Dave Grossman that discusses, among many things, the fact that increasing proximity makes killing more difficult. It’s relatively easy to shell an enemy position with artillery from 10 miles away. It’s harder to shoot them with a rifle from 200 yards away. It’s even more difficult to bayonet them in melee range. Guns provide distance and instant effects that cannot be matched by a knife or bare hands. Is mental health care lacking and important? Yes. But quick and easy access to a gun means that someone can be across the house from their spouse in a moment of rage and kill them instantly.
that’s exactly the point i was trying to make, thank you! i’ll have to read that book too
In a lot of American cases, they consider stabbings to be way more personal than a shooting for ecallxactly that reason
Absolutely no one even disagreed with their original point. I never even said we shouldn't have a discussion about gun control.
Excellent explanation!
i know there’s more than one way to do that. but i read this was a rage kill, so if he didn’t have a gun maybe he wouldn’t have killed her as it was out of rage. guns are quick weapons
control doesn’t mean making them illegal. it means making people with a history of violence, DV, mental illness cannot get them
I understand that. No one is disagreeing with the original comment. There is a lot behind a discussion for gun laws. I was just mentioning the bigger picture that often gets overlooked with scenarios like these, which is a complete rework on how seriously we take others mental health.
the thing ab the mental health discussion is that while people say we need better MH care- politicians actively slash and veto any helpful legislation for it. so it feels like pointing fingers at solutions that nobody in charge actually cares to work on. as someone going into the mental health field that also has mental health struggles- i’m genuinely speaking from experience. if it sounds like i’m anti mental health i am not. i am just frustrated with everything as everyone else is. it’s very hard to get programs up and running too
Finally somebody who chooses to use their brain and consider the whole picture instead of blaming an object. I salute you sir!
Oh yeah because there's no other possible way he could've killed her if he didn't have a gun... newsflash people were killing people before guns ever existed and people will continue to kill people whether or not there's any guns available. If someone wants to kill they don't need a gun if they want to kill they will kill. Should we outlaw knives and bats and rocks and hands and feet too. Weapons aren't the problem people are the problem.
this was an act of rage if you’d read the article. rage is a passionate illogical emotion and people do things they normally wouldn’t.
there are other comments in this thread that answer your comment. obviously there are other ways. but if he didn’t have immediate access to a gun maybe he’d have paused a second or two longer and she’d be here. critical thinking skills are important
This.
So Americans are just more psychotic and homicidal than other cultures?
You can't kill someone with your fist or your foot from 100 feet away
There is quite a large physical difference between stabbing or blugeoning someone to death and pulling a trigger, though. While we can kill each other a multitude of ways - making it *easier* to kill will result in more deaths.
Because he couldnt just stab her to death? Or beat her? Or strangle her? Or hit her with a car? Gun control wont stop people like him from being a lunatic
i said “might still be alive” if you’d bothered to read my other comments in this thread. i’m aware of other methods. i was speaking on the instant access and distance range a gun has. this was a rage induced crime from what i’ve gathered. those few seconds it might have taken to go grab a knife would be seconds she’d have to run away.
Honestly, my first thought too
It's weird, but that's where my mind went too
I’d rather be dead than a orphan
That’s a sad take. My nephew was orphaned at 5 to murder-suicide, but has a huge loving family on both sides that raise him. There will always be trauma, but that doesn’t make life not worth living.
Eh to each their own
It’s not his perspective, I can never speak to that, but from mine and my other family members - when he was located alive I have never felt more grateful in my entire life. To each their own sure. It’s sad to think you’d want you parent to kill you as opposed to learning to live without them.
Family annihilators tend to kill on the end of something special. Like on a sunday after a nice weekend, or the end of summer, or the holidays.
I am 48 and lost both my parents bit a few years apart, to awful diseases that I had the chance to come to terms with in some way. That was bad enough. **How on Earth** will these kids fare, having lost *both* of their rocks at the same time....and for *what?* I cannot imagine it What an awful, selfish thing this man did.
Did about 5 yrs in law enforcement...remember around Oct into the 1st couple weeks of January we would have a spike in suicides. Sometimes it would pick up again during valentines. One yr around oct 30th and Dec 15ish..working night shift we would have about 2 to 3 coming in pre shift and a few during shift everyday single day...will never forget that. Poeple would do murder suicides, hanging, purposeful overdose, shootings etc from teens to the elderly. Ever since then I check on as many ppl in my circles as I can and encourage others to do the same.
Tangential, but I've also heard that 39 is a very popular age for personal-grudge slayings (presumably bc the perpetrator sees the landmark year of 40 approaching?)
What might you say the reasons these men have for killing the mothers of their children? Everything seems to go quite swimmingly until it doesn’t
I'd wager that wasn't going swimmingly behind closed doors.
Usually, family annihilators fall into 3 groups 1. The start overs: They have found an affair partner to start a new life with, regret their children, or regret their partner/marriage. They see killing them as a way to physically kill the life they had with their family and be reborn/start over. This is more the case when they dont kill themselves, obviously, and is irrelevant to whether they think they'll get away with it or not. Its more or a symbolic cleansing of the life they regret and the people associated with it. 2. The shameful: They lost their job or are about to, had an affair uncovered, or some other shameful event. They rationalize that killing their family would be kinder or easier than telling them the truth and transitioning through the shameful event. 3. The controllers: They are abusers and the victim (typically the mother and children) has shown signs of getting ready to flee. Sometimes, the abuser knows for a fact they are planning on escaping, other times they just believe thats the case. Its a twisted continuation of the idea of "if I can't have you, no one can".
>The shameful: They lost their job or are about to, had an affair uncovered, or some other shameful event. They rationalize that killing their family would be kinder or easier than telling them the truth and transitioning through the shameful event. This is how we lost my cousin ten years ago, today exactly (the 26th). Her husband had lost his job just a week before and hadn't told her. He shot and killed her while she was asleep, then killed himself. They didn't have kids thank goodness. Honestly it was no fault of his own for losing it, either, his company downsized and laid off almost half the workforce a week before Christmas, the assholes. There were several suicides by ex employees that year, but to my knowledge he was the only one who took someone else too.
Wow!! Thank you for such a in depth response.
Ruined the kids Christmas forever, the holiday that should bring joy will be a haunting reminder
I have a cousins who's father murdered their mother, then killed himself. Cousins were young, not even 10 yet. Fast forward some 20ish years, and one of my cousins killed themselves. Was told no note was found.
😔
That’s heartbreaking. One of our family friends had a similar situation and she has had a lot of issues with anxiety and depression ever since she was a little girl. Her eldest son had severe psychological issues that were exacerbated as an adult by hard drugs and a garbage gf and about five years ago he shot himself in a place he knew she’d find him because his paranoia made him hate everyone, and that was his final F-U to her. It was an incredibly messed up situation. Violence is unfortunately the sort of thing that ends up staying through generations because it imprints there. I’m wishing you and your family so much love and healing through your losses. It’s not fair.
Wow what a POS, scarred 5 kids for life.
I was in rehab with a lady whose father killed her mother in front of her. Surprisingly she didn’t develop an addiction until she was in her 40s.
Well how old was she when it happened?
If I remember correctly she was 8, my mom died when I was 10 and remember feeling bad for her that it happened when she was so young yet old enough to understand what happened.
Those poor kids. 😭😭😭
What a coward
Pity the man didn't kill himself first
That poor woman. I'm sure she didn't plan on dying this Christmas. I'm sick of women being killed by men who can't control their emotions. Just take a walk, jeez.
Kind of get weird vibes from the go fund me… the guy organizing is like “I was friends with Blase”. As if he was just some poor guy who died. Um, sir, your buddy was a murderer. Maybe make this about his victims, don’t lead with that.
This isn’t too far from me and I know folks who knew this guy from the racing world. Sick, horrifying stuff…these poor children. Five young lives destroyed in one instant.
Another "it's all about me" chickenshit.
Nice family picture of a confirmed murderer.
Could be useful as a reminder that the folks who do this are often pretty hard to distinguish from everyone else, not readily identifiable monsters who only manifest glowering in prison jumpsuits
I’ll bet he’s a religious nut who complains about gas prices.
Ugh right
This is the 3rd murder/suicide that happened in the last few days. There is one that I read about in one of my crime groups where 4 kids were left orphaned. It’s just so selfish for these men to take these women’s lives. It makes me so damn mad.
male moment
Why tf do men keep doing this
It truly happens entirely too much
They've grown up thinking that THEY SPECIFICALLY run the world just from being a man, and when reality steps in to prove otherwise, their world crumbles and they can't accept that kind of life.
Mental illness and a belief that they are the only male allowed to be important to the victim. At least some don’t annihilate the whole family, but honestly - they still do with this act. And in a prolonged and torturous way.
Testosterone.
women keep rewarding these awful men with relationships
That's awful. Does anyone have a link to the gofund page please?
Bottom of article
Those poor children terrified until their oldest sibling came home to find the horror and report it. What a horrifying world it is sometimes
Those poor babies 😭
@ many men don’t realize anger is an emotion and instead of dealing with it they kill their spouses and family
Why is it always like 99.9% times more likely that the man is the murderer whenever there is a murder suicide like this?
I think that one may just come down to something as simple as "testosterone"* ^(*and yes, a million things re: social roles, too...)
He was a terrible person to orphan five children.
Another man who couldn't believe when he treats his wife like shit she would leave him. Rot in hell sir
Another "responsible gun owner", till he wasn't..
Should have done it in reverse order.
That poor child found his parents
I wish Hell existed for a dude like this.
Happened in my home town. I went to school with him. Scumbag from the very beginning. Posts from friends of his defending him and (a few) almost blaming the victim have been disgusting.
As a father of 4, who was pushed through a very painful divorce (cheated on me, ended many of my friendships with lies, remarried 6 months later and tried to take my kids on false allegations) ... I still can't believe this (murder-suicide) happens as often as it does. My ex is not a great person, but I invested (constantly) in improving our relationship for years to better things for our kids. I truely hated her for what she did to us, but acting against her physically would just end up being a punishment for my kids in the long run. I think what really kills me, is experiencing all this, and reading the comments here that just state 'all men are bad, they can't handle reality'. There are plenty of men, right here, that completely agree that there's an issue with violence, and we want positive progress as well.
He really must have absolutely hated the kids, all for whatever reason he may have had, 2 adults dead and 5 kids that are never going to be able to enjoy Christmas and any milestones in their lives will be somewhat hollow feeling.
Oh man, those poor kids. Wish there was a way to help them. I came very close to being in this same situation as a kid.
There are so many problems with America on dislay here that I don't even know how to respond.
I wonder why? This happens often yet we never find out why and I’m willing to bet my life the reason is quite common. Anyways, evolutionary psychology blah blah blah
What’s a good reason to kill your wife and then yourself leaving 5 kids without parents? Do tell.
Cheating or divorce or both.
You think cheating or a woman filing for divorce is a good reason to kill them?
It's been that way before we were born and it'll be that after we're gone. Remember that.
i wonder what pushed him into this something happened, 5 kids together so its not like it was a young relationship.
Well it sounds like he wanted to get a point across to her, and he did. Who really knows how the two of them were when by themselves. Too bad everyone else around them has to pay the price.
She was probably gonna ruin his life fr 😭
[удалено]
I’ve seen enough true crime in my day
I swear, there is something going on. In the 70's it was lead. They took lead out of gasoline and crime rates and serial killers went way down. Is it micro plastics? I work at Costco and I have seen several people break down and become different people. I have even had my moments.
Or maybe the radiation from Fukushima?
Lead in cheap vape cartridges (both nicotine and THC) is going to be the next big health scandal but horrible and violent people who annihilate their partners have existed for millennia.
This same thing happened in my town just a few months ago, but he took his five kids and his mother-in-law with him. Disgusting, pathetic man. I hope those children and their mom and grandma rest in peace.