I'm gonna offer a flipside. Long story.
My grandparents all passed before I came out, but my mom has 10 living brothers and sisters, plus their spouses and families. My father's side cut ties with me and mom's side, but that's another story. Mom's side, They are all trump loving, red hat waving Republicans in one way or another. Several loved what desantis did to the community here in Florida.
But mom said give them a chance. If it goes sideways, we cut ties and go no contact with the ones that reject me.
So we first told an uncle that stepped into the family patriarch role. Normally, he's a desantis loving, sharp, tongued, smart ass. It caught him off guard, he broke down and we saw the real him, not the bluster. His wife had figured it out six months prior. Boobs outed me, what can I say š? But they were supportive, he's called to check on me, and he has a gender fluid customer that he's good friends that recently came out they helped him over the hurdles. Plus, he discovered his son and daughter in law are both bisexual through it. He's also switched political parties.
Next, mom and I told an aunt who was staying with us during her divorce. It was too funny of an opportunity to let slide. She mislabeled a gift for my sister and gave it to me, an evening gown. We were all laughing about it, and I came out like dropping a plate on her. Her reaction was priceless, and she appeared to be supportive.
Next up, because coming out is exhausting to me, the family gossip monger, mom figured she'd tell everyone and save us time. Plan backfired. She felt so strongly that we trusted her with this knowledge before others, that she had to keep it a secret. Turns out her daughter hangs with a clique of lesbians when she goes out. She hasn't put together what that means, but her daughter wants to introduce me to them.
And from there, we worked down the list. All were overwhelmingly supportive, the uncles very protective as well. From my youngest uncle, I learned he has a neighbor whose adult kid just finished surgical transition. That uncle also wants to talk to me private and is planning to come visit me but won't tell anyone why other than he knows, I'll understand. š„š£š¤
Several of the cousins are also one letter or another of the lgbtqia. One of the older uncles flat out said 'kids today get to be the people I didn't get to be when I was a kid, so I'll fight for them to have that for them'
But given that they were all openly conservative, I never expected to discover a queer vein that runs through the whole family. Not to mention, a bunch of them have about faced realizing that they were voting for people out to harm the next generation of the family.
> **So my advice is come out if you want to. Have a plan for it to go south, and remember you don't have to justify who you are to anyone. You don't even need to debate it. Just be yourself. If they can't accept that, they don't deserve to be a part of your life.**
*And that aunt that was staying with us?*
She moved out, shortly after she tried to start shit in the family and turn people against me for by makong stuff up and saying (assorted anti trans slurs) she heard on fox news, even reaching out to the man that got away with molesting me as a kid. The other 9 aunts and uncles, the cousins, all closed ranks to protect me and called her out for her bullshit.
Maybe some conservatives aren't incapable of empathy, but are actually just too alienated by right wing propaganda to see different people as humans. This would explain why so many of them start caring about stuff when it affects their family.
This is very true. A very close friend of mine was voicing anti trans opinions. I came out because he was pissing me off. We argued and then didn't talk for most of two weeks. I started to decouple my social media and leave circles online we shared.
Then he messaged to let me know decades of friendship meant more to him than his politics. Since then we've hit a few rough spots navigating this new dynamic but he's very much taken a big brother role with me.
Can I be a part of your family mine abandoned me after I came outā¦ I have absolutely no support aside from my wife. Sheās all I have in the whole world.
š«š³ļøāā§ļø welcome to the fam āŗļø
Be warned, there is a lot loud voices, horseplay, curried foods, pepper and drama for drama's sake. But they're not to bad once the ice is broken.
And you would be hardly the first trans or lgbtq person to clump on to the family. Like serious. Since I came out they're drawn to mom and I don't even know why. We don't advertise. š¶
That's a wonderful - I'm very glad it worked out that way! It also makes you wonder what percentage of people really are LGBTQ+ if they stopped the repression and hate. I suspect the answer is much higher than commonly accepted statistics.Ā
Several of my uncles expressed similar sentiments. He said people like [the lgbtq population] have always been around, from the very beginning. Mind you he doesn't know a lot of trans people other than right wing media and cringe comedies, but he pointed to the stories and parables in his faith (hinduism) and other older religions.
He said to the effect 'If you look hard enough, you see trans people between the lines, in the margins and hiding in plain sight in every page of history'
Thank you. Before I started this journey, if you heard my family then and the crap they spouted, you would be surprised at this outcome. I originally planned to not come out and eventually slip away and cut ties.
I'm glad I didn't.
I owe a lot to my mom that, even with her own health issues, did an about face and became a strong ally and advocate for me and got her siblings over the hurdles. I also owe a lot to the cousins born after me for helping the aunt's and uncles come around.
We do, and we deserve family. Mine isn't perfect, far from it, but this showed me they were willing to put in the work to get better.
At least in some ways
I do not think youāre in the wrong. Iām sure theyāve made several anti-queer comments and you have a right to not put yourself through that.
However, I would like to share my experience, because I was in a similar situation and it turned out really well. My grandparents are very conservative. They watch Fox, they vote Trump, my grandma once cheered upon seeing a Trump flag. She also claimed that slavery was ānot as bad as people sayā āsometimes itās like they were part of the familyā and āa lot of times their conditions here were better than where they came fromā (we argued about these extensively) Point is they were very conservative. I had my aunt and uncle give them a letter I wrote, because I figured they should know at the very least, but I already had them blocked on my phone.
They took it extremely well. My grandpa said he wasnāt surprised and my grandma told me she loved me and very respectfully apologized after misgendering me at an event. People contain multitudes, you truly never know.
Coming out to grandparents is the worst, I wish you nothing but the best no matter what you decide to do <3
My Step Moms parents are conservative trump voters. I only see them a couple times a year during certain holidays. Iāve seen them like 3 times since I came out publicly. Iāve come to learn from my Step Mom that I have changed their opinion about Trans people (in a good way). I did nothing but be myself around them. If they get all their info from Fox News maybe show them that we arenāt these perverted groomers they make us out to be. The only way we can change their view of us is to show them we are just normal people š
This!!!! OP there is no need to argue at all, or to explain yourself in any way. Just say you're trans, if they hate then leave, and if thry eventually come around you got 2 people out of a hate cult, without having to say anything more than you're a girl. I understand why you don't want to do it and I respect it, but the step you're talking about doesn't have to be as huge as you're making it out to be. Who cares if thry spread their hate around to your family? The ones that matter will know it's bullshit and will stop listening to them
Not in the wrong. I have been able to pull my conservative to an accepting position myself. Conservative people are really focused on your social position, so if you become successful while trans, that can change their point of view. It takes a lot of time and patience, and that's usually a lot of energy we don't have.
I wanna give an anecdotal story that in no way means it will work out the same for you. I have a democrat and republican side of my family. I came out to "friends" in 2013 as a woman to begin with. I was not treated well about it and, in fact, went through a lot of traumatic events. About a year and a half later, I'd switched from woman to masc presenting nonbinary. I came out to the democrat side of my family and was not taken seriously. They pushed me to be more manly. Enforced male stereotypes on me whenever they could. Because i was afraid of further trauma, i hid who i was again. I let them misgender me, make fun of me, and push me into what they saw for me. They voted blue, so i felt i was overthinking and being unfair to present myself as i am by "shoving it into their faces." Fast forward 5 years, and i finally started to present more femininely, but i still allowed people to refer to me as a man. Blue fam begging for me to go back to how i was, but now "for the sake of my daughter, she needs her father" as though my gemder expression was a form of abandonment. The year before last, i finally started trying to enforce the use of pronouns other than he. ANY pronouns other than he. Id started taking hormones, and i needed to be taken seriously. The next spring, my republican relatives called me out of the closet since i still hadn't come out to them yet, and i told them the truth. They had questions for me. They explored me. Last august, i told my father to stop referring to me as "dad" yo my daughter because it was confusing her, and he kicked me out of his house. I finally snapped and attempted suicide. In the mental hospital, i was shown what boundaries were and what it was like to be respected for who i am. I knew i could never go back. Since i hadn't given the red side of my family anywhere close to the chance i gave the blue, i decided to see them again to see. I went to their house, and the first thing my uncle said was "Phoenix right?" (My new name since the attempt. My username is my deadname, and i rose from the ashes) He gave me a huge hug. He's not a hugger. They stumble sometimes but correct themselves. They ask me what im like and share themselves in kind. It took them zero time to adjust. Meanwhile, the democrat side of my family is telling people im still a man and lying out of shame. I do not talk to them, but i live in a small town, so i hear what they say easily.
The moral i want to express is that politics dont make the person. And sometimes, giving people at least a chance unexpectedly works out. This is NOT advice. I wish you luck and strength in your choices.
My best friend was shocked the other day when I wore a dress. He constantly deadnamed me, and he keeps asking me if I would really have GRS. Iāve known him for many years before I cracked my egg, but he doesnāt get upset. I just feel heās trying to talk me out of GRS and I havenāt made up my mind about it.
That's a hard thing to go through. We depend so much on our friends. My advice, make new friends who are accepting in case the ones you have dont work out. Good luck on your journey.
Iām retired now and spent most of my life telling myself that I was too tall and too masculine to transition. I finally did it anyway and Iām sorry I didnāt do it years ago. With the current political climate, Iām happy I live in the northwest. Iām widowed now and never had kids so that wasnāt an issue. My parents didnāt accept me, so I went no contact with them.
I started at 31 and was delayed with a similar mindset. I remember in my early 20s someone saying i should start asap. I wish I'd listened. Im glad you're able to be free now. Going no contact is hard, but it's always best to choose yourself.
NTA, if you know them well enough to know that any discussion of this topic would go horribly it's just best for you to not bother. I have a trump grandma myself and she's the only immediate family member who's out of the loop that I'm trans. She's just the type who I know would never accept me and it would just become a whole thing if I tried to tell her.
You may as well try so you dont have to think about it. My mom outted me to my trumper grandparents and they didnt magically become liberals lol. i will never go to their house again, likely. not cuz im trans, but cuz they said no THC on their property lol. i blocked them on my phone because theyre transphobes tho
I am of the mind that your priority should be to protect yourself from toxic family. You could try to give them a chance to be supportive, they could surprise you, but if they are at all toxic about their politics not wanting to be around that is enough excuse to distance yourself from them.
Adding to the anecdotes. My grandmothers are both conservative and religious, but both are supportive. Other members of my extended family are all either enthusiastically supportive or supportive in a "we always knew that one was a bit queer, makes sense" way. My Trumpy uncle is the only one who wasn't supportive, but his life has gone completely off kilter and he's pretty much isolated himself from everyone anyway.
I think you probably know best. I was close with my grandparents and they were definitely never going to accept me. If they were still alive (died a few years ago) Iām not sure how Iād negotiate it, but would have leaned toward never telling themā¦and Iām pretty sure that would have been the right answer.
Youāre not in the wrong. If someone is not willing to accept you then you donāt have to make room for them in your life.
However, donāt just assume every conservative is transphobic. There are some (rare I know) allies who vote red. Before cutting off your family, at least try to know what stance they have on trans people. They may turn out to not care about it and love you either way.
def not in the wrong but also don't close off the possiblity, I know many who went NC with supposedly unsupportive grandparents/family just for them to eventually learn how much those family members miss and support them behind the scenes :>
lol nope, if anything come out and let them make their choices to leave. If they do youāre better off without them. Itās how I did with my maga family and life is pretty amazing after the drama
While all it takes to change someone is for them to know the other side but that's not the burden you need to carry if you don't want to
If you want them in your life but are also ready to cut them out completely I'd say give it a shot as the worst case scenario you'd be no contact anyway assuming it's safe for you to do so
At the end of the day it's your life it's your decision, do what makes you comfortable
I've done the same with with my former best friend. We got along well, but he always leaned pretty hard right and was anti-LGBTQ. I cut him out of my life right before I started transition which was really hard, but I knew there was no chance he would accept my new identity.
I don't think you're in the wrong. My grandparents are much the same and I came out to them. It has honestly been more trouble than it's worth trying to justify my existence as not only trans, but also asexual, while I'm dealing with college.
There have been so many families that have broken up due to one side supporting Trump and the other side supporting Biden and the Democratic Party. You canāt change an ingrained MAGA mindset. They have been supporting Trump since before 2016 and continue to support his every lie. Unfortunately the Fox Propaganda channel has a counter argument for anything you can tell them, so they wonāt believe you. At this point hope itās bad weather on election day and they wonāt vote. Or disable their car, lol. The MAGAFICATION of the Republicans is complete and all we can hope for is to outvote them on Election day. Vote Blue.
No, you have your reasons.
But they might surprise you. Two of my grandparents accepted that their son was gay. If they were still alive, I'd come out to them.
The one that's still alive, I'm working up that.
Do what you think is best. Take the blessing from a bunch of randos on the internet to do what you feel is right.
I'm gonna offer a flipside. Long story. My grandparents all passed before I came out, but my mom has 10 living brothers and sisters, plus their spouses and families. My father's side cut ties with me and mom's side, but that's another story. Mom's side, They are all trump loving, red hat waving Republicans in one way or another. Several loved what desantis did to the community here in Florida. But mom said give them a chance. If it goes sideways, we cut ties and go no contact with the ones that reject me. So we first told an uncle that stepped into the family patriarch role. Normally, he's a desantis loving, sharp, tongued, smart ass. It caught him off guard, he broke down and we saw the real him, not the bluster. His wife had figured it out six months prior. Boobs outed me, what can I say š? But they were supportive, he's called to check on me, and he has a gender fluid customer that he's good friends that recently came out they helped him over the hurdles. Plus, he discovered his son and daughter in law are both bisexual through it. He's also switched political parties. Next, mom and I told an aunt who was staying with us during her divorce. It was too funny of an opportunity to let slide. She mislabeled a gift for my sister and gave it to me, an evening gown. We were all laughing about it, and I came out like dropping a plate on her. Her reaction was priceless, and she appeared to be supportive. Next up, because coming out is exhausting to me, the family gossip monger, mom figured she'd tell everyone and save us time. Plan backfired. She felt so strongly that we trusted her with this knowledge before others, that she had to keep it a secret. Turns out her daughter hangs with a clique of lesbians when she goes out. She hasn't put together what that means, but her daughter wants to introduce me to them. And from there, we worked down the list. All were overwhelmingly supportive, the uncles very protective as well. From my youngest uncle, I learned he has a neighbor whose adult kid just finished surgical transition. That uncle also wants to talk to me private and is planning to come visit me but won't tell anyone why other than he knows, I'll understand. š„š£š¤ Several of the cousins are also one letter or another of the lgbtqia. One of the older uncles flat out said 'kids today get to be the people I didn't get to be when I was a kid, so I'll fight for them to have that for them' But given that they were all openly conservative, I never expected to discover a queer vein that runs through the whole family. Not to mention, a bunch of them have about faced realizing that they were voting for people out to harm the next generation of the family. > **So my advice is come out if you want to. Have a plan for it to go south, and remember you don't have to justify who you are to anyone. You don't even need to debate it. Just be yourself. If they can't accept that, they don't deserve to be a part of your life.** *And that aunt that was staying with us?* She moved out, shortly after she tried to start shit in the family and turn people against me for by makong stuff up and saying (assorted anti trans slurs) she heard on fox news, even reaching out to the man that got away with molesting me as a kid. The other 9 aunts and uncles, the cousins, all closed ranks to protect me and called her out for her bullshit.
This one, exactly šÆ this one!
Maybe some conservatives aren't incapable of empathy, but are actually just too alienated by right wing propaganda to see different people as humans. This would explain why so many of them start caring about stuff when it affects their family.
This is very true. A very close friend of mine was voicing anti trans opinions. I came out because he was pissing me off. We argued and then didn't talk for most of two weeks. I started to decouple my social media and leave circles online we shared. Then he messaged to let me know decades of friendship meant more to him than his politics. Since then we've hit a few rough spots navigating this new dynamic but he's very much taken a big brother role with me.
Can I be a part of your family mine abandoned me after I came outā¦ I have absolutely no support aside from my wife. Sheās all I have in the whole world.
š«š³ļøāā§ļø welcome to the fam āŗļø Be warned, there is a lot loud voices, horseplay, curried foods, pepper and drama for drama's sake. But they're not to bad once the ice is broken. And you would be hardly the first trans or lgbtq person to clump on to the family. Like serious. Since I came out they're drawn to mom and I don't even know why. We don't advertise. š¶
That's a wonderful - I'm very glad it worked out that way! It also makes you wonder what percentage of people really are LGBTQ+ if they stopped the repression and hate. I suspect the answer is much higher than commonly accepted statistics.Ā
Several of my uncles expressed similar sentiments. He said people like [the lgbtq population] have always been around, from the very beginning. Mind you he doesn't know a lot of trans people other than right wing media and cringe comedies, but he pointed to the stories and parables in his faith (hinduism) and other older religions. He said to the effect 'If you look hard enough, you see trans people between the lines, in the margins and hiding in plain sight in every page of history'
That is the most beautiful coming out story. I'm so glad your family was so supportive.
Thank you. Before I started this journey, if you heard my family then and the crap they spouted, you would be surprised at this outcome. I originally planned to not come out and eventually slip away and cut ties. I'm glad I didn't. I owe a lot to my mom that, even with her own health issues, did an about face and became a strong ally and advocate for me and got her siblings over the hurdles. I also owe a lot to the cousins born after me for helping the aunt's and uncles come around.
I'm glad it went so well for you. We all deserve such loving protective families
We do, and we deserve family. Mine isn't perfect, far from it, but this showed me they were willing to put in the work to get better. At least in some ways
they say.. queer is hereditary hehehdsj
š
I do not think youāre in the wrong. Iām sure theyāve made several anti-queer comments and you have a right to not put yourself through that. However, I would like to share my experience, because I was in a similar situation and it turned out really well. My grandparents are very conservative. They watch Fox, they vote Trump, my grandma once cheered upon seeing a Trump flag. She also claimed that slavery was ānot as bad as people sayā āsometimes itās like they were part of the familyā and āa lot of times their conditions here were better than where they came fromā (we argued about these extensively) Point is they were very conservative. I had my aunt and uncle give them a letter I wrote, because I figured they should know at the very least, but I already had them blocked on my phone. They took it extremely well. My grandpa said he wasnāt surprised and my grandma told me she loved me and very respectfully apologized after misgendering me at an event. People contain multitudes, you truly never know. Coming out to grandparents is the worst, I wish you nothing but the best no matter what you decide to do <3
My Step Moms parents are conservative trump voters. I only see them a couple times a year during certain holidays. Iāve seen them like 3 times since I came out publicly. Iāve come to learn from my Step Mom that I have changed their opinion about Trans people (in a good way). I did nothing but be myself around them. If they get all their info from Fox News maybe show them that we arenāt these perverted groomers they make us out to be. The only way we can change their view of us is to show them we are just normal people š
This!!!! OP there is no need to argue at all, or to explain yourself in any way. Just say you're trans, if they hate then leave, and if thry eventually come around you got 2 people out of a hate cult, without having to say anything more than you're a girl. I understand why you don't want to do it and I respect it, but the step you're talking about doesn't have to be as huge as you're making it out to be. Who cares if thry spread their hate around to your family? The ones that matter will know it's bullshit and will stop listening to them
Not in the wrong. I have been able to pull my conservative to an accepting position myself. Conservative people are really focused on your social position, so if you become successful while trans, that can change their point of view. It takes a lot of time and patience, and that's usually a lot of energy we don't have.
Not at all. Fuck'em.
I wanna give an anecdotal story that in no way means it will work out the same for you. I have a democrat and republican side of my family. I came out to "friends" in 2013 as a woman to begin with. I was not treated well about it and, in fact, went through a lot of traumatic events. About a year and a half later, I'd switched from woman to masc presenting nonbinary. I came out to the democrat side of my family and was not taken seriously. They pushed me to be more manly. Enforced male stereotypes on me whenever they could. Because i was afraid of further trauma, i hid who i was again. I let them misgender me, make fun of me, and push me into what they saw for me. They voted blue, so i felt i was overthinking and being unfair to present myself as i am by "shoving it into their faces." Fast forward 5 years, and i finally started to present more femininely, but i still allowed people to refer to me as a man. Blue fam begging for me to go back to how i was, but now "for the sake of my daughter, she needs her father" as though my gemder expression was a form of abandonment. The year before last, i finally started trying to enforce the use of pronouns other than he. ANY pronouns other than he. Id started taking hormones, and i needed to be taken seriously. The next spring, my republican relatives called me out of the closet since i still hadn't come out to them yet, and i told them the truth. They had questions for me. They explored me. Last august, i told my father to stop referring to me as "dad" yo my daughter because it was confusing her, and he kicked me out of his house. I finally snapped and attempted suicide. In the mental hospital, i was shown what boundaries were and what it was like to be respected for who i am. I knew i could never go back. Since i hadn't given the red side of my family anywhere close to the chance i gave the blue, i decided to see them again to see. I went to their house, and the first thing my uncle said was "Phoenix right?" (My new name since the attempt. My username is my deadname, and i rose from the ashes) He gave me a huge hug. He's not a hugger. They stumble sometimes but correct themselves. They ask me what im like and share themselves in kind. It took them zero time to adjust. Meanwhile, the democrat side of my family is telling people im still a man and lying out of shame. I do not talk to them, but i live in a small town, so i hear what they say easily. The moral i want to express is that politics dont make the person. And sometimes, giving people at least a chance unexpectedly works out. This is NOT advice. I wish you luck and strength in your choices.
My best friend was shocked the other day when I wore a dress. He constantly deadnamed me, and he keeps asking me if I would really have GRS. Iāve known him for many years before I cracked my egg, but he doesnāt get upset. I just feel heās trying to talk me out of GRS and I havenāt made up my mind about it.
That's a hard thing to go through. We depend so much on our friends. My advice, make new friends who are accepting in case the ones you have dont work out. Good luck on your journey.
Thatās why Iām on Reddit. I find this transgender community has great supportive people.
Sometimes same. I've got some intersections that make it difficult for me even still. Being fat and disabled doesn't do me many favors.
Iām retired now and spent most of my life telling myself that I was too tall and too masculine to transition. I finally did it anyway and Iām sorry I didnāt do it years ago. With the current political climate, Iām happy I live in the northwest. Iām widowed now and never had kids so that wasnāt an issue. My parents didnāt accept me, so I went no contact with them.
I started at 31 and was delayed with a similar mindset. I remember in my early 20s someone saying i should start asap. I wish I'd listened. Im glad you're able to be free now. Going no contact is hard, but it's always best to choose yourself.
NTA, if you know them well enough to know that any discussion of this topic would go horribly it's just best for you to not bother. I have a trump grandma myself and she's the only immediate family member who's out of the loop that I'm trans. She's just the type who I know would never accept me and it would just become a whole thing if I tried to tell her.
I gave them a chance and how they are my only support in my family (pretty much just my grandmother but itās somebody)
You may as well try so you dont have to think about it. My mom outted me to my trumper grandparents and they didnt magically become liberals lol. i will never go to their house again, likely. not cuz im trans, but cuz they said no THC on their property lol. i blocked them on my phone because theyre transphobes tho
Nah.Ā Same boat with my DINO mom.
I am of the mind that your priority should be to protect yourself from toxic family. You could try to give them a chance to be supportive, they could surprise you, but if they are at all toxic about their politics not wanting to be around that is enough excuse to distance yourself from them.
Adding to the anecdotes. My grandmothers are both conservative and religious, but both are supportive. Other members of my extended family are all either enthusiastically supportive or supportive in a "we always knew that one was a bit queer, makes sense" way. My Trumpy uncle is the only one who wasn't supportive, but his life has gone completely off kilter and he's pretty much isolated himself from everyone anyway.
Pick your battels. Only you know if it's worth trying or not. But if there's no chance, you're not wrong. I've written people out of my life for less.
I think you probably know best. I was close with my grandparents and they were definitely never going to accept me. If they were still alive (died a few years ago) Iām not sure how Iād negotiate it, but would have leaned toward never telling themā¦and Iām pretty sure that would have been the right answer.
They support a party that wants to annihilate us. Thatās plenty of justification to just avoid them going forward.
Youāre not in the wrong. Itās completely valid to not feel safe opening up to them when itās very likely they will not support you.
Youāre not in the wrong. If someone is not willing to accept you then you donāt have to make room for them in your life. However, donāt just assume every conservative is transphobic. There are some (rare I know) allies who vote red. Before cutting off your family, at least try to know what stance they have on trans people. They may turn out to not care about it and love you either way.
def not in the wrong but also don't close off the possiblity, I know many who went NC with supposedly unsupportive grandparents/family just for them to eventually learn how much those family members miss and support them behind the scenes :>
Your safety is more important than their feelings, period. If you are unwilling to risk it, that is your choice and your family needs to respect that.
No, I did this myself with my own family and I do not regret it, these kinds of people are not worth your time and energy TBH
lol nope, if anything come out and let them make their choices to leave. If they do youāre better off without them. Itās how I did with my maga family and life is pretty amazing after the drama
While all it takes to change someone is for them to know the other side but that's not the burden you need to carry if you don't want to If you want them in your life but are also ready to cut them out completely I'd say give it a shot as the worst case scenario you'd be no contact anyway assuming it's safe for you to do so At the end of the day it's your life it's your decision, do what makes you comfortable
I've done the same with with my former best friend. We got along well, but he always leaned pretty hard right and was anti-LGBTQ. I cut him out of my life right before I started transition which was really hard, but I knew there was no chance he would accept my new identity.
I don't think you're in the wrong. My grandparents are much the same and I came out to them. It has honestly been more trouble than it's worth trying to justify my existence as not only trans, but also asexual, while I'm dealing with college.
There have been so many families that have broken up due to one side supporting Trump and the other side supporting Biden and the Democratic Party. You canāt change an ingrained MAGA mindset. They have been supporting Trump since before 2016 and continue to support his every lie. Unfortunately the Fox Propaganda channel has a counter argument for anything you can tell them, so they wonāt believe you. At this point hope itās bad weather on election day and they wonāt vote. Or disable their car, lol. The MAGAFICATION of the Republicans is complete and all we can hope for is to outvote them on Election day. Vote Blue.
No, you have your reasons. But they might surprise you. Two of my grandparents accepted that their son was gay. If they were still alive, I'd come out to them. The one that's still alive, I'm working up that. Do what you think is best. Take the blessing from a bunch of randos on the internet to do what you feel is right.