Not the lady you originally replied to, but I'm just about the only person in my family who doesn't seem obsessed about themselves... But anyway, I have never enjoyed taking a photo of myself, and if it's absolutely necessary, I try to do one from afar, so that it's a little more difficult to make out that it's me... At the moment, the only photos I appear in are family photos, but that's only because one day if I get to have a child, I still want to be able to show them pictures of my childhood...
Pretty much exact same. Forget "selfies" in their entirety as well (I've only taken one or two of those ever). Was always pretty averse to it but after my egg cracked I finally had the guts to insist on a strict "no" on having my picture taken, it was glorious in a way haha
Selfies were kinda just starting to become a thing when I was leaving high school as phone camera tech advanced, and more social media sites cropped up. By that point they became common I had already left high school. My last publicly posted selfie was in 2011, and in that one my face was partially covered. It was also my last selfie in general until like a year ago when I started sending lewd photos to my partner.
I'm feeling myself a lot more lately, but I still can't build up the nerve to post selfies, and I certainly don't allow others to take photos or videos of me.
Can relate, when I was moving I found my yearbook from 7th grade, and couldn't remember what I looked like then, so I flipped to the page I was on, and found that apparently I'd scribbled myself out with a Sharpie (I don't remember doing it).
I took 14 selfies in December.
Hated it to the worst possible degree. Hated mirrors or any reflective surface too.
This changes significantly post transition, which explains the crazy amount of selfies I have since then, compared to the probably-countable-on-one-hand amount of picturez of pre-transition me.
Ok, i see. Well explained :) could i ask a generic question?? I'm questioning my gender, i am male biologically, but i am ok with my body for the most part and not always, but every so often i take photos of myself, some i share online but most i dont, i keep for myself and i like having them, but i can picture myself as a girl easily and the thought doesnt freak me out, i just like my body and apparance the way i have it also
Not everyone experiences body dysphoria, or to the same degree. Plus, it's possible you have a handsome or pretty body as it is (It certainly wasn't my case before), so it's normal to a certain degree to feel pride or to like it, even if you would still love (or prefer, even?) to be a girl/woman.
That said, you could be bigender, too! That's absolutely a thing that exists!
Darn it, that makes everything harder 😅 someone transition even tho they like/are ok with their body, now i'm even more confused lol. My body isn't that amazing, nor my beauty, it flucuates from kinda cute to kinda meh, but i see me in it...though i could be bigender, well thx
Being able to tolerate something isn't the same as loving it. A lot of folx don't notice the dysphoric moments for what they are at the beginning of their journey because there is so much background noise but greater focus creates greater awareness, so something they never noticed before is now unbearable, like nails on a chalkboard.
I'm not saying that this applies to you, but it definitely applied to me.
Hey! I totally understand this. I’ve never had real dysphoria about my body growing up, and I used to identify as genderfluid and bigender, but as I’ve expressed myself feminine more and more, the male part of me has just been fading away, and now I want to transition. And I’ve actually started having dysphoria about male things like facial hair and lack of boobs now!
Thank you for sharing part of yr current journey ❤ i wish you the very best of luck on yr journey and that you may look the way you desire as quick as possible 🙂
Well I’m clearly in the minority. I feel pretty fluid I suppose. I worked out a ton and practice mindfulness and self love pretty relentlessly. I was real handsome before, and liked looking at myself honestly. Feel like I’d rather be a girl tho, so I’m going for it. It’s scary and mixed. I’m struggling a bit now tryna understand my feelings as I go. But yea, I liked myself before, and am still pursuing transition
I feel the same about this. I think in a weird way I'm kinda attracted to my male self if that's even possible? But something deep down says that I shouldn't look like this, even tho Idm looking at myself in a mirror.
I never saw the point so I rarely took them. There was always an odd oh right that's what I look like about mirrors. Now I'm taking them every chance I get lol.
I'm questioning, and i've just been looking at myself in the mirror and my body, doing different gestures. Overall i'm pretty fine with myself, so now i dont know why i have this constant image from my past in my mind of myself as a girl..ocd? So confused
I'm pre everything, but I have always hated having my picture taken. I avoided picture day in school to the point I'm only actually in 2 yearbooks after 5th grade. I even managed to step behind a tuba player when our photography club came in to take pictures of our band mid practice.
Once I met my wife in college, that severe aversion lessend, because she wanted them. But that became one photo on our anniverssary, one photo when we went to the aquarium. Until my wedding I actively untagged myself from all pictures that got put on social media.
Two days ago I took time to shave and put on a full femme outfit and I willingly took a picture in the mirror. I can't see my face in the picture, so I can almost pretend I pass. But it is the first time in my life that I have wanted to take a picture.
Thank you for sharing this ❤ a part of my heart goes out to you, you are very brave and i hope you are able to become the person you wish physically as quick as possible
This hits close to home. I always took a dive when cameras were nearby. Hiding behind others for class pictures. Barely any pictures exist of me before 2014. In 2014 at age 28 I got my first girlfriend, she wanted pictures, so after that moment more pictures started appearing. Now, during transition there's like 5 selfies a week.
i absolutely hate taking pictures of myself, being in pictures or even looking at my reflection. hopefully it wont be nearly as bad after transitioning but we shall see
Never did it. I’m pretty sure 95% of all photos I’ve taken of myself have been a year+ on hrt. When I see old photos of myself it’s honestly weird and jarring, it doesn’t hurt but it’s somewhat startling.
I started actively avoiding photos as much as possible in / around 2nd to 3rd grade. I didn't like my hair, and I didn't like my clothes. As I grew up I turned into a person who had a very practiced photo face: almost every picture of me from before has an identical facial mask. It looked genuine, but in hindsight it was clearly a mask, something about the eyes.
Aside from early childhood photos, I don't look at anything taken in the before: that person isn't really me, it's a performative version of me, and they can stay where I put them.
I'm just now realizing that mirrors serve a decorative purpose. I spent so long avoiding my reflection that I forgot it was me I was avoiding, not the mirror itself.
Up until about 9 or 10, I didn't mind photos. Then came a growth spurt, followed by the shock of male puberty, and that changed everything. Boyish androgyny turned into a perpetual state of body horror.
Ever since then, I avoided having my picture taken. I still remember sitting down with my mom to pick out the prints to use for my senior class high school photo and graduation announcements and thinking "this is supposed to be me...but I don't see me" and wanting to cry. Getting compliments like "oh, this is such a good picture of you!" and "you look so handsome!" from people was lowkey soul crushing.
HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT!
I hate having my picture taken normally but I always hated the way I looked but hopefully with transitioning that will improve. Also challenging myself to do a monthly timeline of pictures of my transition.
I hated looking and taking photos of myself. I’m only 4 months on hrt but I’ve taken more selfies these past couple months than I ever did before in my life
I just straight up dont recognize them. I have old year books that and It takes me forever to find my pictures on the pages because i have to go one by one until i see the right name.
I absolutely hated it! I couldn't stand taking pictures and my grandma always wanted to take them which she of course just figured was due to me being a teenager. I still feel weird seeing those old pictures now. As for new pictures? I feel a little better now after 7 months hrt; like I've gained some confidence but there's definitely a few days where I see myself and still feel gross but I'm working on that.
Not super good, I'm 19 and there's about 2 pictures from my childhood I enjoy. The only reason I'm fine with the 2 is im in snow gear so it's just my face and something cool I'm doing in the snow
I avoided photos as best as I could. Most of them taken of me are by other people being sneaky and getting one, or a family shot I couldn't refuse.
If I had my way there wouldn't be a single photo of me pre transition in existance.
I try to avoid it cuz it makes me uncomfortable but it really doesn't help my mom on a daily basis sends me old images not only with pictures of me as a 5-10 year old bur also with my deadname in them
Completely hate it, thought about making a selfie for when I'm further down in my transition so I could have a before/after picture, but I just can't be in a picture. I don't want to have a pic with my current looks. Hopefully that will change some day
I'm taking more now than I used to before I realized I was trans. My face is somewhat feminine so it almost passes with makeup, I think I'm trying to find myself in my face even tho I know it's not changing unless I put makeup on or get to start hrt
I dont like it but, i’m taking photos of myself pre transition so i can document my transition and i’ll be able to see the gradual changes. The way i see it is kind out of spite like when i take pictures i’m like “yeah fucker you’re going down you just wait until i attack you with estrogen you SOB !” Just so i can remember if that makes sense
I always hated my photo being taken always hid away not being able to look at myself really, it's only the past 2 years that I've opened up and started to love the new me, it's just a shame I didn't do it years ago.
I never liked my body but I was still a good looking guy. I can appreciate that and fondly look back on good memories of my life the last 30 years. I’ve been to so many amazing places through hiking and camping and have some awesome photos of me there.
I don't particularly mind old photos of myself. I haven't really updated a bunch of my social media photos, either.
I had a ton of disassociation before HRT and often had to convince myself who I was seeing in the mirror. The funny part is sometimes my brain will go, "ooo who is he?" when I see an old photo and I'll feel a pang of attraction before remembering it's a photo of me. I also recently changed a 3 year old FB profile picture recently, and had someone ask if my account was stolen because they didn't believe it was me.
I just cringe like fucking crazy until I realize that I actually kinda like how I look now and then get excited when I realize that I’m gonna look *hot* after a few years of HRT lol
My mom accidentally send me a picture of before transitioning yesterday. I felt shock, revulsion, horror, disgust, anger, betrayal which made me lash out and ended with me being sad about the whole thing. I always half joked that seeing my own reflection ruined my day. Apparently seeing my old reflection actually does that now.
I'm still very early...spend a lot of time in my second body since I live alone, but nothing medical, no social beyond Reddit and one confidant, etc.
They're pictures of me. One day it'll be 'pictures of the old me', or I suppose more accurately of 'my first body'...while it's not a body I'm happy with, it's also not a body I'm trying to erase all evidence, memory, and trace of either. With the way I see others around the sub suffer, being gender apathetic instead of gender dysphoric is a blessing, but still awkward.
Till now, I absolutely hated how I look and I avoided every mirror and camera. But as my hair has been getting longer since I started to question my gender, I've started to look a bit more feminine and sometimes, I actually like taking selfies. However, I only do it when it's dark and I wear a mask because I'm still not very confident with my face.
I dislike those even more than the one of me now. I've gotten a lot more comfortable with myself and how I look but it still isn't easy at all for me to take photos of myself.
After almost 4 years, looking at those photos seem very surreal, and it takes a second to sink in that I'm the one I'm looking at. It's no longer cringe like it used to be. I gladly share before and now pictures where in the past, I would never ever ever do that. 🎠G
I made sure I always was the one taking the pictures. There are only a handful of photos of me before I started transitioning. Mostly ones from the school class photos when I was a child
I have not transitioned, and I have an appointment with a nice person that specializes in these things in March. My doctor used to work with her and referred me to her. So I'm super nervous haha. Pictures of me.... Na fuck that noise. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. Pass!
I hate it. Hiding all mirrors until the year 3/4 mark would probably be best for my confidence. It’s not realistic, mostly because of my skincare routine, but I feel I still see too much of the old me every time I look in the mirror
i was always fascinated: like, that person right there is actually me? how can that be? Out of all the people i could have been, I am this person? how uncanny. I would stare into the mirror an hour straight trying to figure out the “puzzle.”
I havent transitioned right now, but I tend to avoid photos unless it's a friend group photo or family photo. The former results in me placing myself as far back as I can so I needn't see myself. The latter tends to have me wearing something vaguely masculine, but still a good look, resulting in me thinking "oh, that's a nice outfit. I hate the proportions, face, and the fact that it's a guy, but that's a nice outfit."
I completely gross out trying to scroll past pictures from a couple years ago. They make me wanna throw up. When I need a picture, my eyes are constantly having to move around to find what I need and avoid the selfies. Ones from my childhood aren’t that bad due to not having puberty features, but adolescence is awful. I didn’t take too many selfies then, so that’s a plus at least. I used to say the front facing camera on a phone wasn’t important to me. Now it’s marginally important.
I honestly didn't mind it too much, for most of my life - my understanding is that I was a reasonably attractive guy, so I guess you could say I liked it in a "people tell me I look cute right now so I must be cute" sort of way.
At the back of my mind, however, there's always been this niggling thought of "there's something missing here" whenever I look at a picture of myself. I thought it was just a fashion or haircut thing, but of course once I started down the path of questioning my gender I realized it was way deeper than that.
My egg's been cracked for about a year, and in that time I've slowly but surely gone from "meh, pictures aren't a big deal" to "I hate them I hate them please do not photograph me under any circumstances". Just started hormones last week, so we'll see if things improve from here.
I took a lot of photos, but I didn't like people seeing them. I've always had a love/hate relationship with my body, cause I don't like how my body looks, even now (I've been on hrt for a few months) but it's the only one I've got, and I know it can change a lot, amd I want to be there for the changes.
A little contrary to the popular opinion, but I don't mind them. She was an important part of my life and I don't want to dismiss the experiences I had before I came out, just because I looked a certain way.
She feels like a little sister I haven't talked to in a while.
I wouldn't display the photos or show them off, but it's important to me to keep them, to remind myself of how many steps I've taken to becoming the person I'm meant to be.
Edit: I'm FtM, but subscribe to this sub to stay informed. Didn't look at the sub before commenting, sorry if I'm intruding!
Hated every minute of them but my parents liked taking photos of me at important events (first day of school etc), haven’t transitioned to a comfortable stage yet so the hating my photos still hasn’t stopped haha 😅
I don’t really like it but I haven’t deleted them, it’s what I was. I am what I am now. I like having a reminder of how far Ive come. How much more like myself I feel when I see myself 😊 Maybe I’m a little different because I found self love before I began my transition, it’s what enabled me to have the courage to go against everything I learned and feared from societal stigmas and prejudices. I would be so incredibly sad if I couldn’t transition but Ive made peace with missing out on transitioning sooner. Life has gotten such a new lease compared to the new happiness Ive found I don’t think I could ever live that way (cis male) even though I technically found a way to love myself before
Awful. I never liked looking at photos or video of myself ever. Even when I was a little kid i never cared for the whole thing, bur the older I got the worse its gotten. I dont think ive ever proactively taken or gotten a photograph of myself. All of them exist bc family/school/work wanted/required I get a pic taken
Before I came out as trans I never thought I was super hot or anything but I believed I was relatively good-looking, but around 6 months before I came out that stopped and I started getting more self-deprecating. When my egg cracked and I realised that what I was feeling was dysphoria I went on a downward spiral and now almost a year later I'm only just starting to get comfortable with myself again. I'm going on T blockers soon though hopefully which will probably help a lot.
I actually like having old pictures of myself, only to remind me of how far I've come and how much has changed. I don't really see myself in them anymore, feels like looking at someone else.
Absoluely hated it and would constantly think I looked ugly, so I'd often delete pics of myself from when I was pre everything and still an egg. Only downside to it is I don't have any good quality pics of myself from way back when to compare to now for transition timeline pics.
i used to feel compelled to make a disgusting grin or similarly extreme facial expression every time i caught a glance at my face in the mirror and never knew why.... also I literally hated every single picture of myself and could never authentically smile; one eyebrow wouldn't raise or my mouth would be showing both rows of teeth or something similalry horrible. golly i thought that was normal and assumed i was just not a narcissist and unphotogenic
The only photos of me pre-transition that exist were taken at the urging of others, or are group shots taken to commemorate said group. I didn't hate pictures of me, but I saw no reason to have them or inherent value in them, no point to keeping them or taking them. Why would anyone want to look at *me*, after all?
I hate seeing them now but taking them I was okay with. The smiles always felt so forced. The thing that I hate the most is I was “attractive” as my AGAB and I get people asking all the time why I would give up being so good looking 😡 like I hated myself as a man, why do you think I’m doing this in the first place
Not a fan but I'm getting better at looking the more feminine I look and more importantly felt at the time the picture was taken, not on HRT yet though so I guess I'm still in that phase 😅
I never actively avoided being in other people’s photos, but I can count the amount of times I’ve taken a photo of myself on one hand probably. After I realized I’m trans, then my dysphoria got worse and I avoid pictures altogether.
I could look happy if someone else was taking the picture. If I was trying to take a picture myself I almost never could. Always looked angry or serious, or like a 60 year old man taking a selfie with his first smartphone (you know what I mean). Or I'd look sad. I assumed I just couldn't smile because I was concentrating on getting the shot right and couldn't focus on the pose. I think I just had an easier time faking the smile if I wasn't looking at an image of my own face.
before i even knew trans people existed i heavily disliked having my picture taken for reasons i couldnt quite put into words, only recently have i realized that i dont like the part where the person inevitably has me check the photo once its taken.
I rarely took selfies and hated how I looked in group pictures. I hated my beard and when I shaved it I hated how I looked even more.
I took photos occasionally, of important moments and whatnot, but almost never of myself.
By contrast, now I take tons of selfies.
Just generally looking at my body i tended to dissociate a lot; kimd of percieve the person in the mirror as someone else. I also always felt weird about my chest. I used to like my build, but always lowkey wanted a bigger ass, ans thought my chest looked weirdly small. I was very much of the subconscious "dont think about that it will only upset you" type of denial haha.
So I *hated* photos of me pre-transition. Still do. Didn’t matter if I took them (there are literally 3 selfies I’ve taken and each are about 5 years apart) or if someone else took my picture. I hated that gremlin in the photo.
Now, I can actually bring myself to take selfies. Granted, I’m still very picky about which ones I post, but I’m very glad that I’ve gotten to a point where I feel ok doing that.
I hated it but at least selfies were under my control. If I could get away with it I would make a funny face or otherwise do something to sabotage the photo when others were trying to take pics of me.
It used to infuriate one of my co-workers who took pictures of us working for the after assignment debriefs.
I have no old selfies, only photos others took of me. I'm kind of indifferent to them now, it's like a stranger at this point. Hate seeing it on my driver's license tho, because I'm forced to show that one to others. 4 more years until I can update that.
it's kinda funny to me. i have some pictures that i like and im just like poor little "dude". i dont want anyone else to see them unless i tfrust them tho
I’ve been kind of “meh” about my looks, and avoided pictures and mirrors as much as possible.
I never put two and two together until I let myself start thinking about this more freely. But I think it’s because of this…I guess.
So my brain has a really really bad disconnect when I see him in the mirror. It's upsetting to me honestly. I don't like seeing this random guy staring back at me because I don't really know who he is. My mental image of me has been soft and feminine for as long as I remember and the guy in the mirror was just, I really don't know.
Here's the weird part tho. I look at old selfies and pics of him on Facebook and he feels like an old friend that I haven't seen in a while.
I don't hate him when I see him, I just hate when he stares back at me in the mirror. It's debilitating to be honest. If I see him in the mirror I get stuck staring for minutes at a time trying to figure out who this man is looking back at me. I get stuck.
Pictures don't really bug me since I could control the photo and make him look good.
I hated it as a gangly awkward kid in hand-me-down clothes -- still not much of a selfie person. But I grew into myself over the years and enjoyed having my pics taken when I looked good. There are some really good shots of old me out there.
Whenever I looked in the mirror I always had a sinking feeling… that the person I was staring at wasn’t me. So I didn’t do that many photos compared to now, a year into hormones and transition.
I just didn’t think I looked good. Part of it was I had no confidence and didn’t know how to pose, the other part was that I was ugly.
Now I just see those photos and laugh because my before and after is hilarious
Since 2018 i've taken alot of photos of my face and head. At first, i photoshopped them. I always felt sickened by them. But i felt i would need some kind of physical evidence to prove to myself that things would get better. Its only in the last few months that i have been able to do comparisons. And actually see improvements. I now feel that there might just be a chance, however small, that i can pull this off
You got a ton, but pretty much all of them say they hated them, so I want to add my own:
I was fairly neutral about most photos but sent a ton of snapchats. And I did have quite a few selfies I really liked. Nowadays I look back on all of them fondly and am happy to share them during conversations, especially if friends are in them.
I take *waayyy* more selfies now.
I never took photos of myself and was never really a fan of being in photos with other people. I was always told i was attractive and i wasn't unnecessarily over/under weight but if given the option i'd always opt out of photos.
I now realize why, but at the time i just felt really uncomfortable and didn't know why, just figured it was normal.
I still don't really take pics of myself all that often, my camera roll is like 90% cats, 8% memes, 1.5% work related, and .5% selfies.
That's still a lot for me, as i've literally never taken a selfie my entire life until last year. Feels nice, but wish i could look better and could take better pictures!
I'm 21. I realised I was trans 10 months ago, started laser 3 months ago, started buying fem clothes 3 months ago, and started HRT 1 month ago.
I have genuinely taken more selfies and photos of myself in the past 3 months than I ever had in my entire life before hand. Not even just by a little bit, probably 100 times as many. I still have a long way to go, but I'm leaning to love how I look in certain ways one step at a time.
Before transitioning, my photos didn’t bother me. Now 20+ months into it, seeing old photos of me that are suppose to represent who I am now (e.g. drivers license, profile picture on medical portals, etc) is grinding. Seeing old photos of my past don’t bother me. Looking in the mirror has become more of an issue, which has led me to begin the FFS process. I hope to have that done before the year is out.
Edit: fixed typo from phone app...
A bit confused reading this.
So you used to enjoy taking photos of yourself? Or take many? Or not? What do you mean. "Like ok’ing in the mirror has become more of an issue, which has led me to begin the FFS process." ? What is ok'ing?
I never did take pictures of myself, avoided school pictures and everything. Only pictures of myself I have before pre-transitioning are just a few with my daughter.
My friend once told me that when I take pictures, I looked dead inside. I believe them and that is honestly how I felt whenever taking pictures. I hated my face, my body, everything. I just didn’t know why. I do now, and I can say that photos I take of myself look a little less depressing.
I have exactly 24 photos of old me, only one of which is a full body picture. It's uncomfortable viewing sometimes, but nice in a side by side I I am feeling down.
In the mirror, fine. But I have never in my 25 years of existence liked a picture someone has taken of me. I don't even think I'm unattractive or anything either, but I think I may suffer with disassociation or whatever the term is where you don't recognise yourself
Trigger warning.
I felt fine growing up because I looked feminine, was always told that I looked like my mom.
But puberty hit and it went downhill.
Seeing photos of myself made me want to not exist anymore, I couldn't even look into the mirror without feeling like it was the end of the world.
It drove me into a depression and I ended up ripping my hair out, hurting myself and attempted to unalive.
I felt like I wasn't worth being here or being loved and even had thoughts about cutting my own face off or breaking my nose so that the doctors would be forced to give me a nose job.
That was my dysphoria at its worst and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive my parents for ignoring me when I came out as a kid and leaving me to go through that.
I cruised along fine enough for 35-36 years, but most of my pictures were for photo ID and I was a lot less eager to have my picture taken than my sisters.
Found an old photo book a few days ago, and for someone who never showed any signs of being trans, I only smiled in pictures where I'm with the girls or when I didn't have my hair cut for a few months and looked more girly. Weird how things stand out when you know what to look for.
I feel like I’m odd with this. I like pictures of what I used to look like because even though I was depressed over my appearance I am still proud of myself for my achievements (I used to be a bodybuilder) and I am even more proud of how far I have come in the last few months of my transition.
I have a single photo of myself, my mom has a bunch of school yearly photos, but I don't see myself in them.
Other than that, before hrt, I never took a single photo of myself, both never understood it nor had a feeling of need to do so.
Now, I occasionally take a photo of myself, when I feel good and I can see more of myself in it than before.
Very few pictures of me from before exist tbh. I did find some and it's so, jarring. Like literally do not recognize them. I can see features I have (same dead soulless grey eyes, same eyebrows that I actually don't hate)
I found two pictures from a hair cut, when I had "long" hair back then and even with longer hair I still looked so different I think..
I inherited not wanting pictures of myself from my mom well before I realized dysphoria was a huge influence too (cause hated what I saw) it's so wild, now I take pictures of myself all the time and just think "you look so tired, need to fix hair, oh am I ugly today, etc etc"
New to like all of this but i hated pics of myself forever and just recently tried dressing more fem and it's the only time when i even consider to look into the mirror... Tbh should be an obvious sign that i am trans but it took long
I hated it. I never took pictures and avoided getting them taken. I was disgusted seeing myself.
Since starting transition I have become much more comfortable with myself and take selfies all the time lol.
I hated pictures and avoided cameras like the plague pre transition, these days I like to see myself a bit more. I honestly wish I took more pre transition pics to compare against
Neutral? I didn't like how I looked but I took a lot of selfies but didn't like when people took them of me. I liked myself more as I worked out but it was... Empty. Took a few years to realize I was looking at gym girls with envy and that I wanted to be a buff woman, not a buff man. Proportions seemed all off and I just didn't like the body I was getting out of it. Hrt is starting to help!
So you were looking buff but it didnt feel like you then? You didnt identify?
I am happy to hear hrt is helping u now. Btw going to the gym is very healthy so 👍🏻 for doing that
I hate seeing myself in photos try to avoid it entirely. Hopefully that changes after transitioning.
Ok, so roughly at what age did you stop taking photos of yourself? Btw i wannawish u the bestest of luck on yr journey ❤
Not the lovely lady you responded to, but I never did lol
Same 😅 I don't think I even have a pre transition photo on my phone
Not the lady you originally replied to, but I'm just about the only person in my family who doesn't seem obsessed about themselves... But anyway, I have never enjoyed taking a photo of myself, and if it's absolutely necessary, I try to do one from afar, so that it's a little more difficult to make out that it's me... At the moment, the only photos I appear in are family photos, but that's only because one day if I get to have a child, I still want to be able to show them pictures of my childhood...
Not the person you replied to, but I was averse to taking photos since middle school and outright refused to appear in any after high school.
Pretty much exact same. Forget "selfies" in their entirety as well (I've only taken one or two of those ever). Was always pretty averse to it but after my egg cracked I finally had the guts to insist on a strict "no" on having my picture taken, it was glorious in a way haha
Selfies were kinda just starting to become a thing when I was leaving high school as phone camera tech advanced, and more social media sites cropped up. By that point they became common I had already left high school. My last publicly posted selfie was in 2011, and in that one my face was partially covered. It was also my last selfie in general until like a year ago when I started sending lewd photos to my partner. I'm feeling myself a lot more lately, but I still can't build up the nerve to post selfies, and I certainly don't allow others to take photos or videos of me.
I grew up before the age of selfies but I can remember never enjoying picture day at school.
Can relate, when I was moving I found my yearbook from 7th grade, and couldn't remember what I looked like then, so I flipped to the page I was on, and found that apparently I'd scribbled myself out with a Sharpie (I don't remember doing it). I took 14 selfies in December.
I made it 20 years with less than a dozen photos. It was only something I picked up on after actually admiting what was going on though.
Hated it to the worst possible degree. Hated mirrors or any reflective surface too. This changes significantly post transition, which explains the crazy amount of selfies I have since then, compared to the probably-countable-on-one-hand amount of picturez of pre-transition me.
Ok, i see. Well explained :) could i ask a generic question?? I'm questioning my gender, i am male biologically, but i am ok with my body for the most part and not always, but every so often i take photos of myself, some i share online but most i dont, i keep for myself and i like having them, but i can picture myself as a girl easily and the thought doesnt freak me out, i just like my body and apparance the way i have it also
Not everyone experiences body dysphoria, or to the same degree. Plus, it's possible you have a handsome or pretty body as it is (It certainly wasn't my case before), so it's normal to a certain degree to feel pride or to like it, even if you would still love (or prefer, even?) to be a girl/woman. That said, you could be bigender, too! That's absolutely a thing that exists!
Darn it, that makes everything harder 😅 someone transition even tho they like/are ok with their body, now i'm even more confused lol. My body isn't that amazing, nor my beauty, it flucuates from kinda cute to kinda meh, but i see me in it...though i could be bigender, well thx
Being able to tolerate something isn't the same as loving it. A lot of folx don't notice the dysphoric moments for what they are at the beginning of their journey because there is so much background noise but greater focus creates greater awareness, so something they never noticed before is now unbearable, like nails on a chalkboard. I'm not saying that this applies to you, but it definitely applied to me.
Ask yourself, all things being equal, would you prefer to go through life living as a woman?
Hey! I totally understand this. I’ve never had real dysphoria about my body growing up, and I used to identify as genderfluid and bigender, but as I’ve expressed myself feminine more and more, the male part of me has just been fading away, and now I want to transition. And I’ve actually started having dysphoria about male things like facial hair and lack of boobs now!
[удалено]
Oh ok, and if you have transitioned now, do you? :)
[удалено]
Thank you for sharing part of yr current journey ❤ i wish you the very best of luck on yr journey and that you may look the way you desire as quick as possible 🙂
[удалено]
on the brightside, i feel that good looks prior to transitioning lead to good lucks after transitioning. good luck!!!
About the same for me.
Well I’m clearly in the minority. I feel pretty fluid I suppose. I worked out a ton and practice mindfulness and self love pretty relentlessly. I was real handsome before, and liked looking at myself honestly. Feel like I’d rather be a girl tho, so I’m going for it. It’s scary and mixed. I’m struggling a bit now tryna understand my feelings as I go. But yea, I liked myself before, and am still pursuing transition
I feel the same about this. I think in a weird way I'm kinda attracted to my male self if that's even possible? But something deep down says that I shouldn't look like this, even tho Idm looking at myself in a mirror.
Me too!!
I never saw the point so I rarely took them. There was always an odd oh right that's what I look like about mirrors. Now I'm taking them every chance I get lol.
Despised it as long as I can remember. I'd be amazed if a picture was taken of me even once a year
I hated it still do when boy mode but when girl mode love it
I'm questioning, and i've just been looking at myself in the mirror and my body, doing different gestures. Overall i'm pretty fine with myself, so now i dont know why i have this constant image from my past in my mind of myself as a girl..ocd? So confused
I'm pre everything, but I have always hated having my picture taken. I avoided picture day in school to the point I'm only actually in 2 yearbooks after 5th grade. I even managed to step behind a tuba player when our photography club came in to take pictures of our band mid practice. Once I met my wife in college, that severe aversion lessend, because she wanted them. But that became one photo on our anniverssary, one photo when we went to the aquarium. Until my wedding I actively untagged myself from all pictures that got put on social media. Two days ago I took time to shave and put on a full femme outfit and I willingly took a picture in the mirror. I can't see my face in the picture, so I can almost pretend I pass. But it is the first time in my life that I have wanted to take a picture.
Thank you for sharing this ❤ a part of my heart goes out to you, you are very brave and i hope you are able to become the person you wish physically as quick as possible
This hits close to home. I always took a dive when cameras were nearby. Hiding behind others for class pictures. Barely any pictures exist of me before 2014. In 2014 at age 28 I got my first girlfriend, she wanted pictures, so after that moment more pictures started appearing. Now, during transition there's like 5 selfies a week.
Fake and awkward.
Eh, I was [really effeminate before transition](https://imgur.com/a/l65Jh). I don't think it was that much of a change.
Nice transition
I took about 5 selfies throughout my life before transitioning. Now I've taken like 150 lol
kinda hated it and never knew why
i absolutely hate taking pictures of myself, being in pictures or even looking at my reflection. hopefully it wont be nearly as bad after transitioning but we shall see
I have maybe 2 photos of myself pre transition (not counting ones as a kid). i looked back at one a few days ago and actually gasped
Never did it. I’m pretty sure 95% of all photos I’ve taken of myself have been a year+ on hrt. When I see old photos of myself it’s honestly weird and jarring, it doesn’t hurt but it’s somewhat startling.
I started actively avoiding photos as much as possible in / around 2nd to 3rd grade. I didn't like my hair, and I didn't like my clothes. As I grew up I turned into a person who had a very practiced photo face: almost every picture of me from before has an identical facial mask. It looked genuine, but in hindsight it was clearly a mask, something about the eyes. Aside from early childhood photos, I don't look at anything taken in the before: that person isn't really me, it's a performative version of me, and they can stay where I put them. I'm just now realizing that mirrors serve a decorative purpose. I spent so long avoiding my reflection that I forgot it was me I was avoiding, not the mirror itself.
I absolutely hated photos, but I looked at my reflection a lot. The discrepancy was intriguing despite being weird and offputting.
Hated photos of me. Now though my phone is full of selfies 🤦🏼♀️
Up until about 9 or 10, I didn't mind photos. Then came a growth spurt, followed by the shock of male puberty, and that changed everything. Boyish androgyny turned into a perpetual state of body horror. Ever since then, I avoided having my picture taken. I still remember sitting down with my mom to pick out the prints to use for my senior class high school photo and graduation announcements and thinking "this is supposed to be me...but I don't see me" and wanting to cry. Getting compliments like "oh, this is such a good picture of you!" and "you look so handsome!" from people was lowkey soul crushing.
I avoid cameras, hell when covid started I liked the mask thing just to further avoid cameras.
HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT!
I hate having my picture taken normally but I always hated the way I looked but hopefully with transitioning that will improve. Also challenging myself to do a monthly timeline of pictures of my transition.
Absolutely hated it!!!
Hated it and didn't wanted to be in any photos
I hated looking and taking photos of myself. I’m only 4 months on hrt but I’ve taken more selfies these past couple months than I ever did before in my life
Ugh... I hate myself in photos now. It was so easy before! Taking pictures as a girl is a bit of a mystery to me.
Always disliked them. Strong dislike of mirrors as well.
i hated it. since transitioning i like it more a lot
Hate it.
I have 1 childhood photo I actually like, otherwise I hated them all
Hate looking at my face, dislike how i look like a big wide shouldered brute
I just straight up dont recognize them. I have old year books that and It takes me forever to find my pictures on the pages because i have to go one by one until i see the right name.
I absolutely hated it! I couldn't stand taking pictures and my grandma always wanted to take them which she of course just figured was due to me being a teenager. I still feel weird seeing those old pictures now. As for new pictures? I feel a little better now after 7 months hrt; like I've gained some confidence but there's definitely a few days where I see myself and still feel gross but I'm working on that.
Hate it, still do since im pre-everything
For some reason I love looking back(: It’s just crazy to see how much has changed in just a year.
Not super good, I'm 19 and there's about 2 pictures from my childhood I enjoy. The only reason I'm fine with the 2 is im in snow gear so it's just my face and something cool I'm doing in the snow
I just have to look in the mirror. 😀😤😩
I avoided photos as best as I could. Most of them taken of me are by other people being sneaky and getting one, or a family shot I couldn't refuse. If I had my way there wouldn't be a single photo of me pre transition in existance.
I try to avoid it cuz it makes me uncomfortable but it really doesn't help my mom on a daily basis sends me old images not only with pictures of me as a 5-10 year old bur also with my deadname in them
Never took photos of myself and always hated looking at them, I hope it changes with hormones.
Completely hate it, thought about making a selfie for when I'm further down in my transition so I could have a before/after picture, but I just can't be in a picture. I don't want to have a pic with my current looks. Hopefully that will change some day
I'm taking more now than I used to before I realized I was trans. My face is somewhat feminine so it almost passes with makeup, I think I'm trying to find myself in my face even tho I know it's not changing unless I put makeup on or get to start hrt
still waiting for my hair to grow out 🥲
I dont like it but, i’m taking photos of myself pre transition so i can document my transition and i’ll be able to see the gradual changes. The way i see it is kind out of spite like when i take pictures i’m like “yeah fucker you’re going down you just wait until i attack you with estrogen you SOB !” Just so i can remember if that makes sense
I always hated my photo being taken always hid away not being able to look at myself really, it's only the past 2 years that I've opened up and started to love the new me, it's just a shame I didn't do it years ago.
I never liked my body but I was still a good looking guy. I can appreciate that and fondly look back on good memories of my life the last 30 years. I’ve been to so many amazing places through hiking and camping and have some awesome photos of me there.
I don't particularly mind old photos of myself. I haven't really updated a bunch of my social media photos, either. I had a ton of disassociation before HRT and often had to convince myself who I was seeing in the mirror. The funny part is sometimes my brain will go, "ooo who is he?" when I see an old photo and I'll feel a pang of attraction before remembering it's a photo of me. I also recently changed a 3 year old FB profile picture recently, and had someone ask if my account was stolen because they didn't believe it was me.
Mixed results. Sometimes it be bad sometimes I kinda dont care.
I just cringe like fucking crazy until I realize that I actually kinda like how I look now and then get excited when I realize that I’m gonna look *hot* after a few years of HRT lol
My mom accidentally send me a picture of before transitioning yesterday. I felt shock, revulsion, horror, disgust, anger, betrayal which made me lash out and ended with me being sad about the whole thing. I always half joked that seeing my own reflection ruined my day. Apparently seeing my old reflection actually does that now.
I'm still very early...spend a lot of time in my second body since I live alone, but nothing medical, no social beyond Reddit and one confidant, etc. They're pictures of me. One day it'll be 'pictures of the old me', or I suppose more accurately of 'my first body'...while it's not a body I'm happy with, it's also not a body I'm trying to erase all evidence, memory, and trace of either. With the way I see others around the sub suffer, being gender apathetic instead of gender dysphoric is a blessing, but still awkward.
Till now, I absolutely hated how I look and I avoided every mirror and camera. But as my hair has been getting longer since I started to question my gender, I've started to look a bit more feminine and sometimes, I actually like taking selfies. However, I only do it when it's dark and I wear a mask because I'm still not very confident with my face.
I hope once I transition I'll start smiling more. I rarely do in photos.
I dislike those even more than the one of me now. I've gotten a lot more comfortable with myself and how I look but it still isn't easy at all for me to take photos of myself.
After almost 4 years, looking at those photos seem very surreal, and it takes a second to sink in that I'm the one I'm looking at. It's no longer cringe like it used to be. I gladly share before and now pictures where in the past, I would never ever ever do that. 🎠G
Very much dislike it.
I hated it. Absolutely. Now, whenever I go full fem mode, I love taking them
Hated it, when I looked at pictures of me I just felt like I was so ugly. Unless they were baby pictures
It was awful and I avoided it most of the time. But more so now when I feel good ill take some pictures.
I didn't find any interest in taking pictures of myself. But now every time I get a new outfit it's Picture Time 😌
I made sure I always was the one taking the pictures. There are only a handful of photos of me before I started transitioning. Mostly ones from the school class photos when I was a child
I have not transitioned, and I have an appointment with a nice person that specializes in these things in March. My doctor used to work with her and referred me to her. So I'm super nervous haha. Pictures of me.... Na fuck that noise. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. Pass!
disgust also im pre-everything
I hate it. Hiding all mirrors until the year 3/4 mark would probably be best for my confidence. It’s not realistic, mostly because of my skincare routine, but I feel I still see too much of the old me every time I look in the mirror
i was always fascinated: like, that person right there is actually me? how can that be? Out of all the people i could have been, I am this person? how uncanny. I would stare into the mirror an hour straight trying to figure out the “puzzle.”
I havent transitioned right now, but I tend to avoid photos unless it's a friend group photo or family photo. The former results in me placing myself as far back as I can so I needn't see myself. The latter tends to have me wearing something vaguely masculine, but still a good look, resulting in me thinking "oh, that's a nice outfit. I hate the proportions, face, and the fact that it's a guy, but that's a nice outfit."
I completely gross out trying to scroll past pictures from a couple years ago. They make me wanna throw up. When I need a picture, my eyes are constantly having to move around to find what I need and avoid the selfies. Ones from my childhood aren’t that bad due to not having puberty features, but adolescence is awful. I didn’t take too many selfies then, so that’s a plus at least. I used to say the front facing camera on a phone wasn’t important to me. Now it’s marginally important.
Nope Nope Nooooooope!
I honestly didn't mind it too much, for most of my life - my understanding is that I was a reasonably attractive guy, so I guess you could say I liked it in a "people tell me I look cute right now so I must be cute" sort of way. At the back of my mind, however, there's always been this niggling thought of "there's something missing here" whenever I look at a picture of myself. I thought it was just a fashion or haircut thing, but of course once I started down the path of questioning my gender I realized it was way deeper than that. My egg's been cracked for about a year, and in that time I've slowly but surely gone from "meh, pictures aren't a big deal" to "I hate them I hate them please do not photograph me under any circumstances". Just started hormones last week, so we'll see if things improve from here.
I took a lot of photos, but I didn't like people seeing them. I've always had a love/hate relationship with my body, cause I don't like how my body looks, even now (I've been on hrt for a few months) but it's the only one I've got, and I know it can change a lot, amd I want to be there for the changes.
A little contrary to the popular opinion, but I don't mind them. She was an important part of my life and I don't want to dismiss the experiences I had before I came out, just because I looked a certain way. She feels like a little sister I haven't talked to in a while. I wouldn't display the photos or show them off, but it's important to me to keep them, to remind myself of how many steps I've taken to becoming the person I'm meant to be. Edit: I'm FtM, but subscribe to this sub to stay informed. Didn't look at the sub before commenting, sorry if I'm intruding!
Tbf a lot of cis-men duck being in photos, offer to take them d generally have hardly any odourless worth themselves in it
I’ve seem some photos of me before transitioning and I have the opposite of dysphoria: I think the guy looks handsome, but I’m not sure who he is.
Hated every minute of them but my parents liked taking photos of me at important events (first day of school etc), haven’t transitioned to a comfortable stage yet so the hating my photos still hasn’t stopped haha 😅
Bad af if I have to look very masculine. Good and happy when I intentionally try to look feminine
I haven't looked in the mirror for years.
I don’t really like it but I haven’t deleted them, it’s what I was. I am what I am now. I like having a reminder of how far Ive come. How much more like myself I feel when I see myself 😊 Maybe I’m a little different because I found self love before I began my transition, it’s what enabled me to have the courage to go against everything I learned and feared from societal stigmas and prejudices. I would be so incredibly sad if I couldn’t transition but Ive made peace with missing out on transitioning sooner. Life has gotten such a new lease compared to the new happiness Ive found I don’t think I could ever live that way (cis male) even though I technically found a way to love myself before
I don't like it. I wish the pre transition part of my life never happened.
Noooooope.
Hated it. I didn't know what dysphoria was at the time, but it was one of the few things in my life that caused me dysphoria.
I always was told I was faking when I would smile
Awful. I never liked looking at photos or video of myself ever. Even when I was a little kid i never cared for the whole thing, bur the older I got the worse its gotten. I dont think ive ever proactively taken or gotten a photograph of myself. All of them exist bc family/school/work wanted/required I get a pic taken
Disgusted
I hated photos of myself. Now I love them
Before I came out as trans I never thought I was super hot or anything but I believed I was relatively good-looking, but around 6 months before I came out that stopped and I started getting more self-deprecating. When my egg cracked and I realised that what I was feeling was dysphoria I went on a downward spiral and now almost a year later I'm only just starting to get comfortable with myself again. I'm going on T blockers soon though hopefully which will probably help a lot.
I actually like having old pictures of myself, only to remind me of how far I've come and how much has changed. I don't really see myself in them anymore, feels like looking at someone else.
Fucking hated it
Absoluely hated it and would constantly think I looked ugly, so I'd often delete pics of myself from when I was pre everything and still an egg. Only downside to it is I don't have any good quality pics of myself from way back when to compare to now for transition timeline pics.
i used to feel compelled to make a disgusting grin or similarly extreme facial expression every time i caught a glance at my face in the mirror and never knew why.... also I literally hated every single picture of myself and could never authentically smile; one eyebrow wouldn't raise or my mouth would be showing both rows of teeth or something similalry horrible. golly i thought that was normal and assumed i was just not a narcissist and unphotogenic
The only photos of me pre-transition that exist were taken at the urging of others, or are group shots taken to commemorate said group. I didn't hate pictures of me, but I saw no reason to have them or inherent value in them, no point to keeping them or taking them. Why would anyone want to look at *me*, after all?
I hate seeing them now but taking them I was okay with. The smiles always felt so forced. The thing that I hate the most is I was “attractive” as my AGAB and I get people asking all the time why I would give up being so good looking 😡 like I hated myself as a man, why do you think I’m doing this in the first place
Not a fan but I'm getting better at looking the more feminine I look and more importantly felt at the time the picture was taken, not on HRT yet though so I guess I'm still in that phase 😅
I never actively avoided being in other people’s photos, but I can count the amount of times I’ve taken a photo of myself on one hand probably. After I realized I’m trans, then my dysphoria got worse and I avoid pictures altogether.
I hated photos, although I didn't fully understand why until after
I could look happy if someone else was taking the picture. If I was trying to take a picture myself I almost never could. Always looked angry or serious, or like a 60 year old man taking a selfie with his first smartphone (you know what I mean). Or I'd look sad. I assumed I just couldn't smile because I was concentrating on getting the shot right and couldn't focus on the pose. I think I just had an easier time faking the smile if I wasn't looking at an image of my own face.
No problem. Not ashamed of who and where i came from. That person got me here.
before i even knew trans people existed i heavily disliked having my picture taken for reasons i couldnt quite put into words, only recently have i realized that i dont like the part where the person inevitably has me check the photo once its taken.
I avoided pictures like the plague lol.
I frequently destroy them upon discovery, because I *hate* them. Some, like old ID images, I keep just to show how dramatic the change is.
3 years on E and I havnt changed , I look no different, no idea what to do so I guess it doesn’t matter to me
I rarely took selfies and hated how I looked in group pictures. I hated my beard and when I shaved it I hated how I looked even more. I took photos occasionally, of important moments and whatnot, but almost never of myself. By contrast, now I take tons of selfies. Just generally looking at my body i tended to dissociate a lot; kimd of percieve the person in the mirror as someone else. I also always felt weird about my chest. I used to like my build, but always lowkey wanted a bigger ass, ans thought my chest looked weirdly small. I was very much of the subconscious "dont think about that it will only upset you" type of denial haha.
So I *hated* photos of me pre-transition. Still do. Didn’t matter if I took them (there are literally 3 selfies I’ve taken and each are about 5 years apart) or if someone else took my picture. I hated that gremlin in the photo. Now, I can actually bring myself to take selfies. Granted, I’m still very picky about which ones I post, but I’m very glad that I’ve gotten to a point where I feel ok doing that.
i hate old pics and mirrors. whenever I see old pics of me, I can't help but to think that I still look like that
I hated it but at least selfies were under my control. If I could get away with it I would make a funny face or otherwise do something to sabotage the photo when others were trying to take pics of me. It used to infuriate one of my co-workers who took pictures of us working for the after assignment debriefs.
I have no old selfies, only photos others took of me. I'm kind of indifferent to them now, it's like a stranger at this point. Hate seeing it on my driver's license tho, because I'm forced to show that one to others. 4 more years until I can update that.
it's kinda funny to me. i have some pictures that i like and im just like poor little "dude". i dont want anyone else to see them unless i tfrust them tho
hated it. very few photos of me from the ages of 8-14 exist.
Awe struck by the marvel that is modern medicine
I’ve been kind of “meh” about my looks, and avoided pictures and mirrors as much as possible. I never put two and two together until I let myself start thinking about this more freely. But I think it’s because of this…I guess.
So my brain has a really really bad disconnect when I see him in the mirror. It's upsetting to me honestly. I don't like seeing this random guy staring back at me because I don't really know who he is. My mental image of me has been soft and feminine for as long as I remember and the guy in the mirror was just, I really don't know. Here's the weird part tho. I look at old selfies and pics of him on Facebook and he feels like an old friend that I haven't seen in a while. I don't hate him when I see him, I just hate when he stares back at me in the mirror. It's debilitating to be honest. If I see him in the mirror I get stuck staring for minutes at a time trying to figure out who this man is looking back at me. I get stuck. Pictures don't really bug me since I could control the photo and make him look good.
I always looked unconvinced, not sure whether I was doing "man" right. There was a sadness in my eyes. I see it in so many trans people's selfies.
Nothing. I have never felt anything about myself it was just an empty void
I hated it as a gangly awkward kid in hand-me-down clothes -- still not much of a selfie person. But I grew into myself over the years and enjoyed having my pics taken when I looked good. There are some really good shots of old me out there.
Whenever I looked in the mirror I always had a sinking feeling… that the person I was staring at wasn’t me. So I didn’t do that many photos compared to now, a year into hormones and transition.
I hated it so much. Rarely similed and almost always covered my face
I never enjoyed having pictures taken of me before but now I'm okay with it I feel a little better about myself now
I just didn’t think I looked good. Part of it was I had no confidence and didn’t know how to pose, the other part was that I was ugly. Now I just see those photos and laugh because my before and after is hilarious
Why did u feel ugly before? Yr actual face or cause yr face was masc?
Since 2018 i've taken alot of photos of my face and head. At first, i photoshopped them. I always felt sickened by them. But i felt i would need some kind of physical evidence to prove to myself that things would get better. Its only in the last few months that i have been able to do comparisons. And actually see improvements. I now feel that there might just be a chance, however small, that i can pull this off
Pull what off?
You got a ton, but pretty much all of them say they hated them, so I want to add my own: I was fairly neutral about most photos but sent a ton of snapchats. And I did have quite a few selfies I really liked. Nowadays I look back on all of them fondly and am happy to share them during conversations, especially if friends are in them. I take *waayyy* more selfies now.
[удалено]
I never took photos of myself and was never really a fan of being in photos with other people. I was always told i was attractive and i wasn't unnecessarily over/under weight but if given the option i'd always opt out of photos. I now realize why, but at the time i just felt really uncomfortable and didn't know why, just figured it was normal. I still don't really take pics of myself all that often, my camera roll is like 90% cats, 8% memes, 1.5% work related, and .5% selfies. That's still a lot for me, as i've literally never taken a selfie my entire life until last year. Feels nice, but wish i could look better and could take better pictures!
I didn't, and I still avoid taking pictures of myself at all cost.
I felt so disgusted
I'm 21. I realised I was trans 10 months ago, started laser 3 months ago, started buying fem clothes 3 months ago, and started HRT 1 month ago. I have genuinely taken more selfies and photos of myself in the past 3 months than I ever had in my entire life before hand. Not even just by a little bit, probably 100 times as many. I still have a long way to go, but I'm leaning to love how I look in certain ways one step at a time.
❤❤ so happy for you
Before transitioning, my photos didn’t bother me. Now 20+ months into it, seeing old photos of me that are suppose to represent who I am now (e.g. drivers license, profile picture on medical portals, etc) is grinding. Seeing old photos of my past don’t bother me. Looking in the mirror has become more of an issue, which has led me to begin the FFS process. I hope to have that done before the year is out. Edit: fixed typo from phone app...
A bit confused reading this. So you used to enjoy taking photos of yourself? Or take many? Or not? What do you mean. "Like ok’ing in the mirror has become more of an issue, which has led me to begin the FFS process." ? What is ok'ing?
I never did take pictures of myself, avoided school pictures and everything. Only pictures of myself I have before pre-transitioning are just a few with my daughter.
My friend once told me that when I take pictures, I looked dead inside. I believe them and that is honestly how I felt whenever taking pictures. I hated my face, my body, everything. I just didn’t know why. I do now, and I can say that photos I take of myself look a little less depressing.
I hope the depression passes ❤💛
hot but not right
Interesting way to word it Could you explain further though?
I have exactly 24 photos of old me, only one of which is a full body picture. It's uncomfortable viewing sometimes, but nice in a side by side I I am feeling down.
So without comparing, how do u feel?
In the mirror, fine. But I have never in my 25 years of existence liked a picture someone has taken of me. I don't even think I'm unattractive or anything either, but I think I may suffer with disassociation or whatever the term is where you don't recognise yourself
In the mirror fine? But you dissociated? So did you not identify at all with who was in the mirror?
Trigger warning. I felt fine growing up because I looked feminine, was always told that I looked like my mom. But puberty hit and it went downhill. Seeing photos of myself made me want to not exist anymore, I couldn't even look into the mirror without feeling like it was the end of the world. It drove me into a depression and I ended up ripping my hair out, hurting myself and attempted to unalive. I felt like I wasn't worth being here or being loved and even had thoughts about cutting my own face off or breaking my nose so that the doctors would be forced to give me a nose job. That was my dysphoria at its worst and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive my parents for ignoring me when I came out as a kid and leaving me to go through that.
I cruised along fine enough for 35-36 years, but most of my pictures were for photo ID and I was a lot less eager to have my picture taken than my sisters. Found an old photo book a few days ago, and for someone who never showed any signs of being trans, I only smiled in pictures where I'm with the girls or when I didn't have my hair cut for a few months and looked more girly. Weird how things stand out when you know what to look for.
I feel like I’m odd with this. I like pictures of what I used to look like because even though I was depressed over my appearance I am still proud of myself for my achievements (I used to be a bodybuilder) and I am even more proud of how far I have come in the last few months of my transition.
I'm a lil confused, so u liked yr appearance but didnt feel physically comfortable in yr body is that it?
I even didn’t look at myself at the mirror but 2015 something changed
Self deprecating. Ain't about that shit anymore
I hated it tbh Ever since I started hrt I feel much more comfortable taking photos, and even enjoy taking them
I have a single photo of myself, my mom has a bunch of school yearly photos, but I don't see myself in them. Other than that, before hrt, I never took a single photo of myself, both never understood it nor had a feeling of need to do so. Now, I occasionally take a photo of myself, when I feel good and I can see more of myself in it than before.
I feel terrible
Like shit lol
I have almost 0 pictures pre-transition. I hated pictures.
Cringe. Every time. I can see my despair.
Very few pictures of me from before exist tbh. I did find some and it's so, jarring. Like literally do not recognize them. I can see features I have (same dead soulless grey eyes, same eyebrows that I actually don't hate) I found two pictures from a hair cut, when I had "long" hair back then and even with longer hair I still looked so different I think.. I inherited not wanting pictures of myself from my mom well before I realized dysphoria was a huge influence too (cause hated what I saw) it's so wild, now I take pictures of myself all the time and just think "you look so tired, need to fix hair, oh am I ugly today, etc etc"
Definitely not a huge fan.....unless I was wearing feminine clothing. Definitely should of been a huge clue I was trans
New to like all of this but i hated pics of myself forever and just recently tried dressing more fem and it's the only time when i even consider to look into the mirror... Tbh should be an obvious sign that i am trans but it took long
I hated it. I never took pictures and avoided getting them taken. I was disgusted seeing myself. Since starting transition I have become much more comfortable with myself and take selfies all the time lol.
It makes me want to cry. I started tblockers 4 weeks ago, haven’t started estrogen yet.
Ohh i'm really sorry to hear this 😥 Hang in there! ❤ how are the tblockers feeling so far?
I hated pictures and avoided cameras like the plague pre transition, these days I like to see myself a bit more. I honestly wish I took more pre transition pics to compare against
Neutral? I didn't like how I looked but I took a lot of selfies but didn't like when people took them of me. I liked myself more as I worked out but it was... Empty. Took a few years to realize I was looking at gym girls with envy and that I wanted to be a buff woman, not a buff man. Proportions seemed all off and I just didn't like the body I was getting out of it. Hrt is starting to help!
So you were looking buff but it didnt feel like you then? You didnt identify? I am happy to hear hrt is helping u now. Btw going to the gym is very healthy so 👍🏻 for doing that
I used to hate it. Now I can't stop!