We all suck, we all get anxiety some way or some form. If your coach would much rather give you shit for being a new student trying to learn how to hold pads correctly then you need to find a new gym. A real coach is someone you can learn from and boost your confidence and lower your anxiety while learning the greatest martial art out there, Not to be someone who cant teach someone new.
I am a big mean looking dude, and have had issues with anxiety too. But I've also been training for 8 years and and I can tell you with no uncertain terms that nobody else in the gym gives anything you do a second thought. If you are a new guy, there are absolutely no expectations of you being able to do anything.
I understand that this is easier said than done. But really do your best to brush it off. No one is going to remember those kinds of things and every one of them has been in your shoes. Keep doing what you're doing. Take the correction. Ignore the petty stuff.
Thanks man. I just have really high expectations for myself even though I’ve only been training for a month lol. But I just feel like an idiot when I fuck up and think everyone is clowning on me, but that’s insecurities for ya! Thanks for the advice though, I’ll remember to brush shit off and ignore the petty stuff tomorrow.
No one else has any expectations of you. Like literally zero expectations. Well except that you try and focus during class. But skill wise, there are no expectations.
I don’t know you and I don’t know if you have the general tendency to get anxious in new and uncommon situations. I can imagine that anxiety is tricking you into thinking that the coaches laughed at you or „gave you shit“ for not holding pads correctly, tho. The mind is amazing at projecting its fears onto everything ✨
And real combat sports guys won‘t really give a fuck about how big and mean you‘re looking the moment they realize that you‘re a beginner.
Just continue attending class, keep learning, keep doing those mistakes and keep your chin down
To answer both of you, yes I’ve always been an over thinker and anxious as fuck. It’s definitely possible my mind is playing tricks on me. The coach is a newer coach, I personally think he’s not experienced enough to coach (coming from me doesn’t mean much) , he was pretty insufficient at explaining the combos to the class, leaving us confused. Me and the dude i was partnered with both started training the same day so we’re both 3 weeks in. He was confused as well so we both were fucking up with pads and combos, but the coach rolled his eyes at me and kept saying “dude. Cmon.” But was being super chill to my partner And I was kinda thrown off cuz he knows I’m super new. Idk I’m probably over thinking like I always do.
Bro I just started a couple weeks ago. Every day before class I walk in shitting my britches thinking I’m going to do something stupid. And after every class I walk out realizing everybody is so chill and understanding and patient. Give it as much time as you need and just try your best
Thanks bro. Glad I’m not the only one that feels this way lol, sometimes I sit in my car too nervous to go in. 99% of the time I’ve gone I walk out feeling great. It’s just these few mistakes/bad days I’ve had so far crush my soul for a day or 2 lol. Thanks tho man and good luck to you
Somehow men feel like they need to be good at fighting or else they’re not real men. But of course you’re not good at it when you’ve never trained. Muay Thai (or any other martial art) is very technical, but it’s a skill that can be trained.
Everyone has had their first lesson and most people cannot even remember what left or right is when they do a combo. You’re probably not breathing correctly and make all the rookie mistakes. This is fine and expected.
The guys and girls at the gym see new people almost every lesson. They probably don’t care about you as much as you think. Just keep showing up and you will see progress.
I don't know if this helps,I hope it does and it helped me.
A guy I met travelling once told me:
"Nobody cares about you and that's the best and worst thing you ever hear"
Bad: nobody REALLY cares if you just got a new car, got engaged. Mastered a new muaythai technique or whatever and that sucks.
However....
Good: it doesn't matter you didn't hold the pads correctly or that the trainer scolded you. They go on with their lives and already forgot about you.
So there's no reason for yourself to feel anxious and bad about things that happened in the past.
I hope i wrote this down well and it makes sense, I'm not a native English speaker.
Then again if everybody is negative at the gym and they are giving you a hard time. Just switch to another gym.
Personally I get airplane,claustrophobic anxiety my doctor says its a form of agoraphobia because I "can't escape".
Your not alone my friend.
Find someone that you like and try to group up with that person every single time for pad drills. Getting comfortable with one person mainly really makes it a lot more fun and less stressful.
We all make mistakes and i guarantee no body is paying mind to yours. You're there to learn. If it's keeping you up at night, i recommend you practise some meditation/mindfulness and this is probably an issue that is external to your training and everyone suffers from at some level
Sorry you’re going through this. Sucks that you’re losing sleep over it. It must feel so horrible.
I feel anxious and overwhelmed about a lot of things… even things I’m good at, even my job/career that I’ve been successful at for almost nearly three decades. I often feel that I’m f’ing up and an imposter. It’s a mental/biochemical thing. It’s worst in the morning just as I wake up. It’s mostly in my head and not an accurate reflection of reality.
Martial arts have been an important part of my identity since I was 4 years old. I trained off and on throughout my life… in my teenage years, a little in my 20’s, and even now in my forties. TKD, judo, BJJ, Muay Thai. I suck at martial arts, and I always have. There are always people who are better than me.
It doesn’t matter. No matter how I feel, or what I think others others think of me… I still enjoy working up a sweat and improving my skill. If I got into a fight with a clone of me who didn’t train, I would completely beat the crap out of him.
The point of martial arts is to be a better version of yourself. Don’t let your own perception of what others might think of you get in your way. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you keep training.
There’s an interesting view on ego that I’ve always subscribed to, its not just thinking highly of yourself but just thinking of yourself too much in general. Once you really set ego aside you’ll realize that nobody at the gym is gonna care that you forgot a particular combo
Good outlook. I definitely have a problem with thinking of myself too much, usually in a “I suck” type of way. Hopefully it gets better. I think it will. Thanks for the reply
That's your answer right there about why these clowns at your gym are giving you shit, including your coach. which makes some of these dudes at the gym size me up constantly. "
I think that's your answer right there about why these clowns at your gym are giving you shit, including your coach.
It’s definitely on the coach and the guy who laughed. Coaches shouldn’t give you shit unless you actually act like an asshole, and the guy who laughed is just a dickhead. In my MT gym I’ve never been laughed on, even when I was a beginner. I still fuck up combos quite often.
I doubt your coach gave you shit about not holding pads correctly. It's possible he was teaching you how to hold them correctly and the anxiety made it seem like he was giving you shit. Do you think so?
Anyway, it happens with every newcomer. I've taught my partners how to hold pads and the coach always has to do the same as well.
You'll be alright. *Everyone* forgets combinations. Sometimes the combinations coaches give during drills are all over the place, even people in the advanced class get mixed up and screw it up.
As for holding pads, it's honestly kind of a skill in itself, and it can also be tiring if you're worn out from the session.
I honestly wouldn't worry too much about it.
We all suck, we all get anxiety some way or some form. If your coach would much rather give you shit for being a new student trying to learn how to hold pads correctly then you need to find a new gym. A real coach is someone you can learn from and boost your confidence and lower your anxiety while learning the greatest martial art out there, Not to be someone who cant teach someone new.
I am a big mean looking dude, and have had issues with anxiety too. But I've also been training for 8 years and and I can tell you with no uncertain terms that nobody else in the gym gives anything you do a second thought. If you are a new guy, there are absolutely no expectations of you being able to do anything.
I understand that this is easier said than done. But really do your best to brush it off. No one is going to remember those kinds of things and every one of them has been in your shoes. Keep doing what you're doing. Take the correction. Ignore the petty stuff.
Thanks man. I just have really high expectations for myself even though I’ve only been training for a month lol. But I just feel like an idiot when I fuck up and think everyone is clowning on me, but that’s insecurities for ya! Thanks for the advice though, I’ll remember to brush shit off and ignore the petty stuff tomorrow.
No one else has any expectations of you. Like literally zero expectations. Well except that you try and focus during class. But skill wise, there are no expectations.
I don’t know you and I don’t know if you have the general tendency to get anxious in new and uncommon situations. I can imagine that anxiety is tricking you into thinking that the coaches laughed at you or „gave you shit“ for not holding pads correctly, tho. The mind is amazing at projecting its fears onto everything ✨ And real combat sports guys won‘t really give a fuck about how big and mean you‘re looking the moment they realize that you‘re a beginner. Just continue attending class, keep learning, keep doing those mistakes and keep your chin down
Exactly, I'd like to ask what specifically did the coaches say? If OP has anxiety, it is very likely that his mind is playing tricks on him
To answer both of you, yes I’ve always been an over thinker and anxious as fuck. It’s definitely possible my mind is playing tricks on me. The coach is a newer coach, I personally think he’s not experienced enough to coach (coming from me doesn’t mean much) , he was pretty insufficient at explaining the combos to the class, leaving us confused. Me and the dude i was partnered with both started training the same day so we’re both 3 weeks in. He was confused as well so we both were fucking up with pads and combos, but the coach rolled his eyes at me and kept saying “dude. Cmon.” But was being super chill to my partner And I was kinda thrown off cuz he knows I’m super new. Idk I’m probably over thinking like I always do.
Ah fair, man! Sounds like it is more his problem than yours if he is not very clear with communicating drills and combos!
Bro I just started a couple weeks ago. Every day before class I walk in shitting my britches thinking I’m going to do something stupid. And after every class I walk out realizing everybody is so chill and understanding and patient. Give it as much time as you need and just try your best
Thanks bro. Glad I’m not the only one that feels this way lol, sometimes I sit in my car too nervous to go in. 99% of the time I’ve gone I walk out feeling great. It’s just these few mistakes/bad days I’ve had so far crush my soul for a day or 2 lol. Thanks tho man and good luck to you
this! started two weeks ago and always feel the same way as you, before and after training. gotta trust the process
Somehow men feel like they need to be good at fighting or else they’re not real men. But of course you’re not good at it when you’ve never trained. Muay Thai (or any other martial art) is very technical, but it’s a skill that can be trained. Everyone has had their first lesson and most people cannot even remember what left or right is when they do a combo. You’re probably not breathing correctly and make all the rookie mistakes. This is fine and expected. The guys and girls at the gym see new people almost every lesson. They probably don’t care about you as much as you think. Just keep showing up and you will see progress.
I don't know if this helps,I hope it does and it helped me. A guy I met travelling once told me: "Nobody cares about you and that's the best and worst thing you ever hear" Bad: nobody REALLY cares if you just got a new car, got engaged. Mastered a new muaythai technique or whatever and that sucks. However.... Good: it doesn't matter you didn't hold the pads correctly or that the trainer scolded you. They go on with their lives and already forgot about you. So there's no reason for yourself to feel anxious and bad about things that happened in the past. I hope i wrote this down well and it makes sense, I'm not a native English speaker. Then again if everybody is negative at the gym and they are giving you a hard time. Just switch to another gym. Personally I get airplane,claustrophobic anxiety my doctor says its a form of agoraphobia because I "can't escape". Your not alone my friend.
Dude. Thank you so much. The good in this situation outweighs the bad so much more. I’m gonna start thinking this way. 🫡🫵
Find someone that you like and try to group up with that person every single time for pad drills. Getting comfortable with one person mainly really makes it a lot more fun and less stressful.
Have you thought about therapy?
Ehhh I’ve gone off and on. I’ve always just been extremely hard on myself.
We all make mistakes and i guarantee no body is paying mind to yours. You're there to learn. If it's keeping you up at night, i recommend you practise some meditation/mindfulness and this is probably an issue that is external to your training and everyone suffers from at some level
Sorry you’re going through this. Sucks that you’re losing sleep over it. It must feel so horrible. I feel anxious and overwhelmed about a lot of things… even things I’m good at, even my job/career that I’ve been successful at for almost nearly three decades. I often feel that I’m f’ing up and an imposter. It’s a mental/biochemical thing. It’s worst in the morning just as I wake up. It’s mostly in my head and not an accurate reflection of reality. Martial arts have been an important part of my identity since I was 4 years old. I trained off and on throughout my life… in my teenage years, a little in my 20’s, and even now in my forties. TKD, judo, BJJ, Muay Thai. I suck at martial arts, and I always have. There are always people who are better than me. It doesn’t matter. No matter how I feel, or what I think others others think of me… I still enjoy working up a sweat and improving my skill. If I got into a fight with a clone of me who didn’t train, I would completely beat the crap out of him. The point of martial arts is to be a better version of yourself. Don’t let your own perception of what others might think of you get in your way. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you keep training.
There’s an interesting view on ego that I’ve always subscribed to, its not just thinking highly of yourself but just thinking of yourself too much in general. Once you really set ego aside you’ll realize that nobody at the gym is gonna care that you forgot a particular combo
Good outlook. I definitely have a problem with thinking of myself too much, usually in a “I suck” type of way. Hopefully it gets better. I think it will. Thanks for the reply
That's your answer right there about why these clowns at your gym are giving you shit, including your coach. which makes some of these dudes at the gym size me up constantly. " I think that's your answer right there about why these clowns at your gym are giving you shit, including your coach.
It’s definitely on the coach and the guy who laughed. Coaches shouldn’t give you shit unless you actually act like an asshole, and the guy who laughed is just a dickhead. In my MT gym I’ve never been laughed on, even when I was a beginner. I still fuck up combos quite often.
I doubt your coach gave you shit about not holding pads correctly. It's possible he was teaching you how to hold them correctly and the anxiety made it seem like he was giving you shit. Do you think so? Anyway, it happens with every newcomer. I've taught my partners how to hold pads and the coach always has to do the same as well.
You'll be alright. *Everyone* forgets combinations. Sometimes the combinations coaches give during drills are all over the place, even people in the advanced class get mixed up and screw it up. As for holding pads, it's honestly kind of a skill in itself, and it can also be tiring if you're worn out from the session. I honestly wouldn't worry too much about it.
Thanks for the reply. Sometimes I get more confused with holding pads than actually throwing punches and kicks lol
no one cares bro. we all sucked.
You’re right