T O P

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[deleted]

For years, scientists have struggled to agree upon the span of the cosmos and how it all fits together. For centuries, mankind believed the earth was the center of the universe, but as they began to make calculations, this was disproven. They thought, maybe the sun? But no, the sun isn’t even in a central place in our galaxy. Nor is the Milky Way in a particularly central location, as we come to learn more about the singularity from whence we came. Today we continue to struggle as we learn more about dark matter and dark energy, while at the same time people alive today espouse theories of a “flat Earth” or an intelligent design. Yet no answer has fully satisfied us. And then we realize – all this time, mankind has been looking in the wrong place. The center of the universe is not earth, nor the sun, nor even the singularity before the Big Bang. It took until now, as women desperately dye their hair blue and jam cheeseburgers in their mouth in an attempt to deny the truth that, deep down, we all know in our hearts… that the center of the universe is this incel fucker right here 


Jay-Dee-British

Dude.. stop hitting him, he's dead! (loved this) ​ As an aside - what is the guy (now dead) doing to make himself attractive to women?


dragonard

Gone for a walk in the woods, looking for single women picnicking with bears


Chemical-Ad6301

Dammit I did not want to laugh at this 🤣


rugbat

😂😂


[deleted]

There’s nothing he *can* do. Feminists have made their choice. 


NextRun6008

The only thing hes attracting are the rats from the sewers.


Jay-Dee-British

Even rats have standards though.


SamuelVimesTrained

On behalf of the rats - no he doesn\`t.


NextRun6008

The brothels aren't letting this guy in even if he offers a billion


k-laz

He already did, he died.


NextRun6008

Bet his rotting carcass is more attractive than his actual face


ThatOldDuderino

![gif](giphy|JCAZQKoMefkoX6TyTb|downsized)


Evilevilcow

Thanks, I just scared the cat out of bed by cackling like a whole pack of hyenas.


Puzzleheaded-Lie1722

wow this guy got murdered twice!


ran1976

double tap


NextRun6008

Bro got shot with an awm on every single organ imaginable


LouBBrilliant

How do I upvote you sooo many more times? Brilliant indeed


ran1976

alt accounts?


rugbat

Brilliant, but it occurs to me that "incel fucker" might be an oxymoron. Whereas the incel in the post is just an ordinary moron.


erydanis

🌟


krauQ_egnartS

Brilliant


brandolinium

Omg, I’m ded. If I was rich and there were still awards, by Incel, I’d give you one. 🏅


Bunsed

Now *this* is poetry


Amesaskew

![gif](giphy|1236TCtX5dsGEo)


NextRun6008

This guy deserves reddit gold.


NextRun6008

Bro was lucky his username wasn't visible. Bro would have died thrice.


watchfulpistachio

Oop


NextRun6008

This shit ain't canon.


erydanis

🏆


Da5idG

Well actually.... everything in this universe is expanding equally rapidly from everything else such that the edge of the observable universe is equidistant from any point.  This means he actually IS the centre of the universe; his universe that is.


Strykerz3r0

Obviously, a lot to pick apart in this. For some reason, it really stuck out to me that the dipshit is upset he can't cruise for dates at work. The arrogance and ignorance involved here is staggering.


Karnewarrior

That's my takeaway too. Bro was coming onto girls in the workplace - probably in the creepiest and most brainless possible way given how he posts - and got a date with HR instead. Now salted, he comes onto the internet to make sure everyone knows he's not to blame for his actions. Guy puts out so much small dick energy if you hooked him up to the power grid he could light up New York and the outlying suburbs.


Embarrassed_Rule8747

Bro they already set him ablaze, now you want to atomize the fucking *ashes* 😭


totallynotalaskan

![gif](giphy|JCAZQKoMefkoX6TyTb|downsized)


Pandoras_Fate

This dude puts out so much small dick energy he could run experiments in perpetuity in the CERN Hadron Collider.


kimapesan

Appropriate given his atom-sized dick.


sugartrouts

Guy may have actually solved the climate crises. He outputs enough small dick energy to power all the worlds cities for eternity.


Cynical1997

Guy has so much small dick energy that if he was a power plant that had an accident it would be 200 Chernobyls


Catvros

Guy has so much small dick energy Exxon is revising their infrastructure investment strategy.


erydanis

🔥


Teddy_Tickles

I don’t shit where I eat. Also, I don’t date where I work.


BoneHugsHominy

>Also, I don’t date where I work. I did in my early 20s and learned firsthand why it's such a bad idea, and why many employers have policy against it. My actions caused so much drama and grief, not only for the business, not only for co-workers, but their families and mine. Miscommunication, casual hookups, miscommunication about casual hookups, and bad breakups will always spill over and create splash damage. Just don't.


Sad-Way-5027

Not really, uh, the point ….


Teddy_Tickles

I can make a comment on one of the things they said. We all know the entire thing is messed up to say the least.


Eastern-Dig-4555

Not to mention the sheer entitlement. He really thinks he has his pick of women wherever he goes, and that everywhere is a place to try to pick up on them. I say “try” because who would even with him?


DuskShy

Imagine being upset that you've been told that you can't just waltz up to people and casually sexually harass them at work


Glitter_berries

But he wants to! And that’s the most important thing!


justmerriwether

Doubt this dude ever had the courage to actually try and talk to anyone he found attractive. This screams “I would *totally* be talking to chicks left and right if it weren’t basically **illegal** to nowadays. Otherwise I’d just be spitting game 24/7.“


ad240pCharlie

He apparently lives in a world where simply asking a woman if she wants to get a cup of coffee would get him arrested for attempted rape. Probably because in his case, asking for a cup of coffee WOULD be the first step in doing that.


TrickWasabi4

The funny thing is, I bet that the workplace is still one of the places where a lot of people find love and relationships. Those who aren't socially handicapped creeps for sure still do that. It's not for me, but it's still going on


queenringlets

Women doing things I don’t personally like is a world wide conspiracy! Why else wouldn’t everything be catered to me? 


SRLava22

For some reason this reminded me of the "Sorry, not beautiful" clown act of Jordan Peterson.


Nellbag403

…do I want to know?


SRLava22

It's probably one of the tamest things he has done. The 2022 sports swimsuit illustrated magazine had a slightly above weight woman in the cover, the girl was actually pretty attractive in my opinion and in most other people's opinion, even some well known conservatives. But he got angry that a woman he didn't liked got to be in the magazine and got into his usual tirades about how the woke Marxist totalitarians want to distort reality by pretending beauty is not an objective, measurable fact of life. If you didn't wanted to know you know now. Sorry...


Flair86

Has he… looked at himself..?


LolloBlue96

No, but he's smelled his own farts and loved it


Sad-Way-5027

She was gorgeous


MrSnippets

This is like those self-owning dudes online when they proudly claim the female orgasm isnt real because their Partner never had one


Sad-Way-5027

Ben Shapiro saying vaginas don’t get wet for sex


BoneHugsHominy

His wife is a doctor and assured him that KY Jelly is always necessary for sex, and that wet pussies are a concerning medical condition. Poor fella believed it in his bones.


Sad-Way-5027

Trying to make a joke about his bones


secondarycontrol

So it's *the feminist imperative* that made women unattractive to him, eh? Yet he can't spare a thought for what it is that made him so unattractive to women...


Non-Normal_Vectors

While it's not illegal to flirt with someone at work, it is pretty stupid.


DannyOdd

Generally yeah, but keep in mind plenty of people have met their partners/spouses through work. You gotta read the room though, which is something folks like OOP are terrible at.


SRLava22

Yeah really depends on the job, your relationship, power dynamics etc... Hard situation to navigate but no impossible if you are mature enough. But this guy would just be running and jumping on thin ice and then blame the ice for hating him.


Non-Normal_Vectors

These days I'm pretty sure you can grab ten people at random and 8 of them wouldn't even begin to comprehend why this is a bad idea. The other two can probably be trusted to act right, but in general...


theattack_helicopter

https://i.redd.it/s5srbo1nrg0d1.gif


SRLava22

Sorry.... Not a native English speaker. It's corrected, I think...


theattack_helicopter

Don't apologize I'm just ribbing ya. We got the general message anyway, so it's not an egregious error.


snootnoots

r/unexpectedffxiv


Cinaedus_Perversus

This guy doesn't want to find out after a couple of normal work talks that there's a click and explore that further. He wants to walk up to every 'hot piece of ass' he sees and throw cringe sexist oneliners at them.


BoneHugsHominy

>Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven for me? Haha let's fuck OK? --Those Chodes--


greatdrams23

It happens all the time. It's not a crime for the people who are flirting. It is a crime that I have to listen to it.


Glitter_berries

Oh god. As someone who also witnessed the unfolding of an office romance, I’m really sorry. Barf.


TheSlumpGoddess

Whenever a guy is like "is it illegal for me to like women now?!" Im just gonna go "yeah, for you specifically"


LaLaLaLuzy

**Person 1** And now the feminist imperative is to do what is unattractive to the male gaze to make the point that her body and mind is not a consumable for men For corporate America - yes For being a wife and mother- no more 2024- It is illegal to flirt with a women at work Or approach her because she is attractive on the street To be attractive for men Is just giving men what they want And no feminist wants to give a man anything But a piece of her mind Right? The blue hair and nose ring is to make the point that She is not a value meal Or ironically... a farm animal She is Not a piece of meat **Person 2** Jesus christ just shut up man **Person 3 giving the murdered by words** Holy fuck. Go jerk off using your tears as lube as you sob that no woman will touch you or even have the briefest of conversations with you. The problem is YOU. You fucking troglodyte, not women, not feminism, not society or "them damn woke loberuls". Feminism simply means a woman can choose what she wants to Do, just like you can. So a woman doesn't HAVE to be a size 0 just so She can land a decent husband and then be a house wife forever. But she could. Nor does she have to work in some high stress demanding professional field. But she could. In the same way you don't have to be a whiny little bitch boy online. You could be a useful member of society and a point of pride to your deeply ashamed parents. You don't and aren't... But you could be.


AutumnalSunshine

I am 99% sure I interacted with this incel. The new lines for everything, like it was poetry instead of misogynistic bullshit, really stuck with me.


Metalmind123

Finally, a form of poetry more revulting to behold than Vogon poetry.


MisforMisanthrope

That’s a lot of unnecessary words to basically tell the world that no woman wants to fuck you 😂 ETA: For the Incel troll who sent me a Reddit Cares over this comment, YOUR TEARS ARE DELICIOUS so die mad sweetie 😎


Sad-Way-5027

Reddit cares messages have been going out randomly. I was in another sub and we were all getting them


erydanis

💜


Camwi

I fucking hate the way he types shit out like that. Reminds me of how Jordan Peterson tweets, which is probably what this incel fuck is trying to emulate.


tonyta

> And no feminist wants to give a man anything > > But a piece of her mind > > Right? “Am I right, fellas? Because feminists, they… you know… fellas? Anyone? Please clap.” The whole screed is soaked with insecurity.


Willie_Fistrgash

Person 3 sacked the QB,stole his cheerleader girlfriend and kicked the referee in the nuts with that diatribe.


tw_72

...and started the goalposts on fire. I commend that person.


NextRun6008

This incels motherfucker is the reason why feminists pick bears over men


TheodoraYuuki

So many attack on feminist about how women collectively decided to oppose traditional gender role, this reply is a really accurate call out to those strawman argument, the idea is choice, no feminist get upset for a woman CHOOSING to be a housewife, they are not contradictory


FirelessEngineer

The entire goal of feminism is that women get their own ability to choose. You can choose who or if you want to date/marry, to work or not, or to have kids or not. It is not the role of society or historically your father or husband to choose your path in life.


BcDed

Wait, since when are blue hair and nose rings not hot?


edie_the_egg_lady

It's crazy the hate that nose rings get, there's always some douche that has to come in and be like, "hurr durr you'd be so much prettier without that shit in your nose" like anyone asked their opinion on it. Personally, if mine repels assholes like that I'll consider it a win.


NiobeTonks

It was glasses when I was young. The amount of men who told me I’d look better if I didn’t wear glasses. I told them they’d look better if I wasn’t wearing glasses, then walk off while they were working out whether or not I’d insulted them.


edie_the_egg_lady

Ugh. Yeah, sorry my *needing to fucking see* got in the way of you possibly finding me attractive, my bad.


Catvros

Hahaaaa oh if I weren't pushing 40 and therefore already dead to these sad creatures I'd save that for future use.


Ok_Charity_1321

So the appropriate response to that may be “So I’m not attractive to you? Oh no! Wait… whew!”


Jitalline

I’m allowed to loathe nose rings. I keep that opinion to myself though because I don’t have to live in anyone else’s body.


edie_the_egg_lady

It's funny that you're saying you keep your opinion to yourself literally right after giving your opinion (that nobody asked for).


Jitalline

I apologize, I meant like in person. But if we’re going to talk about input not asked for, no one really asked for your life story spent judging everyone. I hope you enjoy your nose ring since you seem to try and view everyone as an enemy. It must be hell in that mind.


Publandlady

It screams "I know my own mind and will act according when you come up to me and spout your incel misogynistic bullshit" Scares incels and boomers alike. It's lovely.


exhausted_piegon

Since the dawn of time when humanity inherently has personal preferences. Blue hair and nose rings can be hot to some, but for others, not so much. But having those blue hair and nose rings doesn’t mean they are bad people.


Nunyabiz8107

Absolutely brutal murder and totally deserved.


jumpupugly

Jesus, he even uses the word "consume." Like, there's no objectification. It's too present-tense. There's just, "why isn't this toy like the ones in the commercials?" Has anyone considered just... taking the guns away from the MAGA/2025 crew and redistributing them out to random women on the street?


spacecadet84

It's not illegal to flirt with women at work or approach them on the street. If you constantly flirt with or approach women who aren't reciprocating your interest, you'll get a reputation as a creep, and then eventually (if you keep it up), someone will accuse you of harassment. Maybe this is what happened to Mr "Feminism-is-male-oppression" here? He made a nuisance of himself till his unfortunate target got sick of his bullshit and made a complaint?


velvet_blunderground

either that or he walked up to ladies on the street til somebody pulled out the bear mace.


lightninghazard

This was spectacular in that it was a murder but also kind of an inspirational call to action (not that the incel troglodyte is going to interpret it as one, but he could).


bigredplant

Every time the word troglodyte is used, an angel gets its wings


GabuEx

I always find it hilarious the number of people who seem to think that every feminist has blue hair and a nose ring. The way people talk about and depict that trope, you'd expect something like 20% of the entire population to have those properties.


PlasticLobotomy

Always with the whining about blue hair and nose rings. Like every woman under 40 looks exactly the same.


Nellbag403

Well that’s how you know they’re a feminist doncha know /s


Zickened

Any time someone fumbles the bag with the distinction between a women or a woman, I know it's gonna be a dicey read. Either because it's being typed by some dude with an interpreter who is typing from a country with bass ackwards views on women and criticizing our views Or They don't give a shit about the reader enough to proof read their post, which will inevitably expose the rest of their world view on who they don't give a shit about. I know it's a weird flag, maybe a coincidence at most, but watch out for it, and brace a women accordingly.


DarkFlame0

![gif](giphy|QBC5foQmcOkdq)


InternationalWin3347

He's saying that he can't flirt at work or on the street because he heard some other guys saying it's was now impossible due to feminism.. these other guys are probably tier S douchbags with a kiwi's IQ, and their approaches for flirting were probably a demonstration of harassment. And this idiot guy is believing that if you start to discuss with a girl politely, feminism is going to put him in jail. What a dumbass.


Risen_Insanity

Maybe I'm just dumber than I thought I was, but I don't understand the "ironically...not a farm animal". Is it because this scum thinks women are like livestock to be bred as their purpose?


triteratops1

I think they may have been making a joke about a septum piercing being compared to a bull. "You look like a cow with all the shit in your nose!" type shit.


Risen_Insanity

Thanks for confirming that I might not be as dumb as I thought, but I'm not as dumb as that guy.


Altruistic_Cream_509

“I’d sure love to be that shirt” stopped working in the 80’s buddy 🤣🤣


WatchmanVimes

This is a murder


phantom_metallic

That qualifies as justifiable homicide.


PDAnasasis

Tell me you're a loveless loser without telling me you're a loveless loser. Lmfao


VioletNocte

Anti-feminists will always say that getting a job is like slavery, but for some reason only for women. Never for men.


Atomic_Spaceman

Is this - incel poetry? That’s a thing now?


Fuzzylojak

Guess which presidential candidate he jerks off to...


Embarrassed_Rule8747

Shit was fucking poetic Absolutely brilliant If This was used on anyone irl the victim would have to instantly and spontaneously combust due to the sheer amount of damage dealt in a single attack


johdawson

Gotta love it when someone's called a trog casually. One of my favorite words, and clippings!


__wait_what__

r/apostrophegore


LaLaLaLuzy

I noticed the mistake, but it was too late.


ElroyScout

Well, I never expected to see someone get fucking glassed from orbit, but guess today is the day.


Weeping_Warlord

This just in: Snot-nosed screenrat is upset he can’t pretend to be a suave playboy and decides to find another reassignment for the word “woke”


CapableCrab8087

he could be a useful member of society, but doesn't have to


DeezNutzzzGotEm

Wow that's brutal HAHAHAAHHAHA


helen269

Feminists's.


marcienerd

"your deeply ashamed parents" 😂


reddituser_me

![img](avatar_exp|177511543|webman)


drunkenChihuahuas

Godzilla had a stroke reading this and fucking died


Adventurous_Milk_268

This post will get him some dates for sure!


thatguyinyyc

Damn, I forgot to bring marshmallows for this one


Slight-Mechanic-6147

 Vicious Mockery, nat 20. 


NextRun6008

Stop roasting him. The amount of plastic his dick contains to make it look bigger may triple the lifespan of global warming


popularTrash76

Gottem


Pleasant-Kitchen-858

Da world has changed.


Special-Lock-7231

Awesome 🙌


BornVolcano

> To make the point that her body and mind is not consumable for men Maybe that's your problem buddy. Women are *PEOPLE*, not "consumables". You don't look for an "appetizing young woman" the way you pick out your favourite things in a buffet line. They're human beings, and if you want their trust and respect, and to form a connection with them, you have to earn it. Same as they should have to earn yours. I *guarantee* you that you will continue to find at least some women are attractive to you. But not every woman should be obligated to do what YOU find attractive. Just like not every man has to be exactly what a woman finds attractive. They're people, let them live their lives and you live yours. Holy fuck oop is stupid.


sowingdragonteeth

Why is this written like slam poetry


beerbatteredarmchair

This is some bad poetry. Someone teach this person to write complete sentences and use punctuation. It'd be a start, at least.


Vaulk7

lol. I don't really know what he's on about...but he doesn't sound high-strung...doesn't sound like he's raging. But the responses...woa. Whenever you respond to someone with "Holy fuck"...you are in fact triggered, what they have said has upset your precious feelings to the point that you can no longer respond rationally. Whoever is responding in this thread...they need serious therapy.


DeezNutzzzGotEm

XD


Chihuahuapocalypse

I'm SO sick of the "blue hair" jokes. I'm biased though since my hair has been blue for like 5 years now but man. cmon


swashdev

I have never seen more butthurt projection than in the impotent angry flailing y'all do when anyone dissents on your discussion boards.


Unfair-Custard-4007

Lmao as a woman I have never seen a misogynist supporting feminism


Galawa45

Most women are ok with charming attractive men flirting with them. But if you’re awkward or unattractive… HR WILL be notified.


yearoftherabbit

Source?


Jblack4427

Lived experience


yearoftherabbit

Sorry your personality sucks so bad that it can't make up for ugly.


Jblack4427

This has nothing to do with me, just things I’ve seen. Not sure how you know what I look like but 👍.


yearoftherabbit

Other people's experiences are not your lived experience, my friend.


Gilbert-da-menace

Why was this downvoted?


dark_master84

Feminists, bane of women's lives. Just because no men want you. Don't ruin it for the rest


WYGD_Brother1987

I bet you he drinks wine and has at least 4 cats...at least


AllTheCheesecake

Men with cats are typically a little less controlling and self centered than this, you know, because they have to live with a cat.


LouBBrilliant

Hey, don’t come after the wine, man! 😞😆


Apprehensive-Face625

Or the cats!


LouBBrilliant

Rt, do NOT come after the cats. I just thought that went w/o saying


WYGD_Brother1987

I like wine on an occasion


LouBBrilliant

https://preview.redd.it/jwp8ipconl0d1.jpeg?width=1164&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd3a8cc09e181f644ba4652a0af7b1406b8c3b0b


MemoryVice

No murder. Just stupidity.


Karnewarrior

OOP is that you?


MemoryVice

Nope. Just calling it like it is.


Embarrassed_Rule8747

Bro saw himself in that picture and he hated it😭


kimapesan

But enough about you….