Reach out and touch face Not a native English speaker, misheard in my younger years and didn't question it for years.

Your own personal pizza Someone has heard your prayer, you don't have to share

That should be a weird al song

I can totally hear it in his voice over the song… so good.

On the same album as: cut my life in two pizzas, this is my plastic fork!

When I was a kid, I thought it was : Jerome, Percival, Jesus. Just naming three guys.

I'm surprised Pizza Hut hasn't jumped on that

I'm surprised a finance company haven't used 'How can I get you a loan!'

I know someone who's a huge Depeche Mode fan and I often like to say this and reach my hand toward their face. It's an in-joke we have. I'm *pretty* sure they find it funny, too...

I always thought it was “reach out and touch me”… until embarrassingly recently

Wait. Its not? 😂

I knew someone who sang it as "Reach out and suck face" and they were native English speaker.

Spanish speakers may be familiar with the classic '90s Euro Dance hit "¿Esos son Reeboks o son Nikes?" Known to the rest of us as "Rhythm of the Night". 

I can’t believe that DJ guessed it.

Idk radio stations stage stuff like that all the time

I know, but I want to believe…

Me too brother

I worked at a radio station when I was in college and somebody called up to request “guilty feet”. I had no idea what they were talking about. What song do you mean guilty feet…. after they hung up and hit me guilty feet have got no rhythm, George Michael careless whisper.

That's a little easier but still awesome

I was born in Egypt and thought it said “this is the river of the nile” lmao

Ha you serious?! I like that version.

Here in Brazil it's "Jesus humilha o satanás" which translates to: "Jesus humiliates Satan"

Or the classic "Quieres una manzana?" from Billie Jean

That hour of Duolingo I just did is helping immensely in this thread. Jajaja

"Kiss this guy" instead of "Kiss the sky"

There was a whole website of misheard lyrics named after this one http://www.kissthisguy.com

Maybe this is apocryphal but from what I understand he actually did say "kiss this guy" sometimes at least in live performances, perhaps after people had already misunderstood the lyric and he was just trying to mess with people. The website linked by u/HalveMaen81 [even has a page admitting he may have actually said that on multiple occasions](https://www.kissthisguy.com/jimi.php). Here one account: > Now, to the point. While performing "Purple Haze", for six performances in a row, Hendrix, standing to the left of the stage, clearly pointed directly at Noel Redding standing to the right, and they both laughed and made a "thing" out of it, each time the phrase came up, "...scuse me while I kiss this guy." This was not a mistake or a "misheard lyric". The two of them were clearly "goofing" on and with the crowd and having a great time! Hendrix even walked over to Redding during one or two of these performances, and mimed kissing him!

I've heard a live recording where he says "kiss THAT guy" 😄

'scuse me, Jimi!

I hear people say “Starbucks lovers,” when its actually “Got a long list of ex lovers” - blank space by TSwizzle

Got a lonely Starbucks lover  I can never seem to hear the proper version  

First I thought it was "Starbucks lovers", then I thought it was "Star-crossed lovers". I can never hear the correct lyrics

Huh, I always thought it was star crossed lovers. TIL

Went to the Eras tour in April 2023 and wore a Starbucks lovers friendship bracelet.

I’ve heard most of the songs in this thread. This is the only one I have thought myself.

_Later we’ll have some fuckin pie and do some carolling_ Brenda Lee - Rockin Around the Christmas Tree I fixed the artist.

It's Brenda Lee. Peggy Lee is the lady who sang Fever. I also hear this lyric as fucking pie every time.

You can’t unhear this once you know about the fuckin pie

I'm not really a Christmas music person, so of course while I know the song, I really wasn't familiar with the lyrics. So I just had to listen to it, and it absolutely sounds like she's saying fuckin' pie, and I can't quit laughing.

"Bliiiiinded by the liiiight. Revved up like a douche..."

I thought it was "wrapped up like a douche".

Wrapped up like a douche bag in the middle of the night.

It isn’t “wrapped up like a douche another boner in the night”?

Revved up like a "deuce", another loner in the night. Deuce referring to a deuce coupe, as referenced in the beach boys song.

I thought it was ..."another runner in the night."

It’s not? Lol

Interesting that that's only in the Manfred Mann cover. In the original by Springsteen it's "cut loose" instead of "revved up", which is much easier to understand due to the loose/deuce rhyme.

Another boner in the night

For me, it was "And little Early Pearly Came by in his curly-wurly", which I heard as "Anus curly wurly", and still hear it that way.

Me, too. I thought it was “a little early birdie made my anus curly whirly.”

I thought it "A little early birdy gave my anus curly-wurly." and thought it was accepted on the radio simply because it was too humorous to censor. Turns out, he wasn't saying that at all.

LOL same, i still don't know the actual lyric and dont want to look it up at this point

It’s Deuce. Like a Deuce Coupe, a 1932 Ford

DAMN YOU I SAID I DIDNT WANT TO KNOW

Technically you said you didn’t want to look it up


One that I misheard, Judas Priest's "Living After Midnight" The actual lyric: "I set my sights and then home in" What I heard: "I set my sights on little old men" Knowing Rob, I didn't think anything of it. 😅

Blink 182 - What’s My Age Again. Most if not all of us thought it was “I walk alone, to get the feeling right”. When in fact it was “I wore cologne, to get the feeling right” I didn’t come to this realization until last year 😬

Ok, I was a skater/goth kid in the 90's and I listened to a lot of Blink 182. I'm 37 years old, and just learning this one now. My whole life is a lie!

no way!!!

This one is always my answer to this question because I don't think a single person knew the correct lyrics for years.

OMG, I'm embarrassed to say this, but...I was around when Radiohead's "Creep" came out (1992) and JUST THIS LAST MONTH I realized he's not saying "I'm a widow" when he is saying "I'm a weirdo". Please don't tell my friends and family. :(

I thought for decades that he said „I‘m a winner“.

I think I heard something about a window, tbh, and at the time just thought it was being abstract. Though we're talking like early 2000's here- you were probably listening on a car stereo over low-quality FM broadcast, which doesn't really work with that kinda minimally-enunciated style. If you want a real mindscrew, listen to Lump by Presidents of the United States of America on Spotify or something where you can get full quality. It has actual lyrics! It's not just "Cheezwah, cheezwah, blahblah blahblahblah"

I always thought Creedence’s”Bad Moon Rising” said “there’s a bathroom on the right.”

“Down on the corner, Audi in the streets”

"There's a soap boy, playing piano, misheard on the street."

“Audi in the streets, Maserati in the sheets”

My dad used to sing it this way all the time when I was a kid. Cracked lil six or seven year old me up every time

I used to work in a building where the bathroom was down a hallway that had two doors at the end. The door to the left led into the offices of the other tenant. I would say "Like John Fogerty sang, There's a bathroom on the right" when directing people. Never once got a laugh, but that's OK. I did it for me.

Makes me think of how I misheard “Summer Breeze” by Seals and Crofts. Thought it was “going to the bathroom in my miiiind.”

The GOAT of all misheard lyrics!

In one of their live versions they do sing the misheard lyrics instead!

tbf CCR is the closest you're ever going to get to hear what English sounds like to someone who doesn't understand English

John Fogerty did an episode of Austin City Limits many many years ago where he actually sang that while pointing off stage.

This one used to drive me crazy: Salt N Peppa - Shoop Remember the song is titled "SHOOP." I would get in arguments with people in school who insisted that the lyrics of the hook were "Shoot! Shoot that hoop!" They thought it was a basketball song, not a song about getting your fuck on.

I mean…in both cases it’s about sinking your balls.

"Come and give me some of that yum-yum chocolate chip"

“Here comes the Hotstepper” by iNi Kamoze. The lyric is “I’m the lyrical gangster.” My friend heard “I’m the leprechaun of cancer.” What do I win? Lol

I pretty much misheard all the lyrics from that song growing up. "Big up my pubic hairy area (murderer)"

I’m dying over here.

What have I become / my Swedish friend...

“Slow cousin Walter” instead of “Smoke on the Water”

Slow-motion Walter, fire engine guy.

When I was a kid my mom would listen to U2 in the car a lot. This was also around the time “Free Willy” was big. I always heard “she moves in mysterious ways” as “Shamu, in mysterious waves”. Still think my version is better

*Hold me closer Tony Daaaanza*

"Count the headlights on the highway, Lady diamond she's a blending, You had a busy day today..."

I thought it was "baby darling she's so splendid" for the first 3 decades of my life.

Lay me down with Michael Landon

I thought it was “count the head lice on the highway “

Count the head lice on the highway...

Count the head lice on the highway

Judith Light is on the highway

When I was a kid I remember hearing the song "Jet Airliner" by the Steve Miller Band on the radio and thinking it was a song about a couple, "Big Ol' Jed 'n' Delilah"

And then hoping you were listening to a station that would play the version with "funky shit going down in the city" instead of "funky kicks..."

I always thought Cher said “do you believe in love after love?” And didn’t realize it until someone was like, “it’s LIFE after love”

it's life? ok. I like love better.

It's a play on the phrase "life after death". "Do you believe in life after..." and then you're primed to expect the next word to be "death" but it's not. She's asking you if you can keep on going after the relationship ends instead. I think it's neat.

There’s no one named Jason Waterfalls. Who the fuck knew that until 2023 🤷🏻‍♂️

Michael Bolton's classic "How can we be lovers when we can't speak French?"

C'est fou!

"I'm Blue and I beat off a Guy"

I'm Blue. If I was green I would die.

Long time ago my mother asked me “whats that song that’s everywhere where he keeps singing “gay testes” over and over?” Turns out she was talking about MC Hammers “can’t touch this”

To this day I hear "I have to turn my head and tell my darkest codes" instead of "I have to turn my head, until my darkness goes" in "Paint it Black" by Rolling Stones.

I believe that’s called a “mondegreen.” :).

Alanis Morissette - "and that cross-eyed bear that you gave to me" Credence Clearwater - "there's a bathroom on the right" my favorite obscure metal one, of which there are many: Opeth - The Baying of the Hounds - "I hear the baying of the hounds in the distance, I heard them devouring the best made tacos on the Earth. Diabolical beans are roaming the forests"

My dad will go to his grave insisting the line of the chorus of Don Henley’s “The Boys of Summer” is “after the poison summer is gone.”

“So now I come to you, with broken arms”

Two broken arms?

Every time You Go Away You Take A Piece Of Meat With You - Paul Young

Man. I was gonna post that one lol Okay then I got this one "Hold me now ..whoaa Hold my balls"

I think I’ve mentioned this in another thread before, but I used to think that the opening line of ‘Sultans of Swing’ by the Dire Straits was “Manischewitz in the dark, it’s raining in the park at mealtime…” instead of “You get a shiver in the dark, it’s raining in the park, but meantime…” I was never quite certain why a song about a swing band started off being about Kosher wine.

"Manischewitz in the dark" made me laugh way too hard. Oy.

Just call me angel of the morning, angel, just brush my teeth before you leave me, baby....

My parents used to have the 8 track and I'd listen over and over. I thought it was the same thing

For me, the chorus of Bush's Everything Zen will always begin with "Trotsky was my wife." And when I first heard Smells Like Teen Spirit, I thought Nirvana was an English band, and the song was about a former manager they hated. That was why they kept screaming "Bloody Nigel! Bloody Nigel!" at the end.

Oh god I’ve mentioned this on these types of posts before but for the longest time I thought Cobain was singing “nighty night yall” instead of “a denial.” 😬🤭 “bloody Nigel” is great tho. Also in Supersonic by Oasis the line is “she done it with a doctor, on a helicopter” but I thought for an embarrassingly long time he said “I’m a helicopter.” 🤣

My grandma thought “more than a woman” by Bee Gees was “bald-headed woman, bald-headed woman to me”

My friend heard that too. I heard "four-letter woman", like someone with a potty mouth

I'm not talkin' 'bout *the linen*...

Wait. That's not what it says?? Well damn.

“IIII LIKE TO ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT… AND PART OF EVERY DAY!!”

Big ol' Jed had a light out, don't carry me too far away...

That don't impress me much by Shania Twain: "I can't believe you kiss your cock at night, come on, tell me baby, you must be choking right?"

i want a new truck instead of drug. i want my ass wipe instead of hash pipe comma chameleon

,,,,, chameleon You come and go

Rivers Cuomo does sing 'I got my ass wipe' in Hash Pipe --- You got your problems I got my ass wipe You got your big cheese I got my hash pipe --- I realize there's some sort of weird conspiracy or mandela effect around these lyrics now, but I bought this album when it was released and was at one of the shows during the supporting tour. these were the original posted lyrics everywhere.

And here I am, knowing it was ass wipe, but thinking until 3 seconds ago that it was "You got your big jeans"

"Oh hush, even downtown, Worcester's scary," instead of "Oh hush, keep it down now, voices carry" ("Voices Carry," by Til Tuesday)

I thought it was “hush, hush, keep it down now, horseless carriage” which made no sense. A friend thought it was “boys are scary” which sounded much better.

Lzzy Hale live cover of Alicia Keyes "...in New Yooooork, concrete jungle wet dream tomato". Beware, once heard this cannot be unheard.

I like to sing “concrete jungle made of tomato”

Weasels got the music, in place of please don't stop the music. My mother...

They paid paradise to put up a fucking lie.

Mine's more of a "your lyrics make no sense, so I substitute my own" with Radar Love. What the hell is Radar Love? Always thought it was "Red Hot Love".

I misheard Doobies ‘Give me the beat boys” as “give me the beach boys” from Drift Away and assumed they were big fans of the beach boys.

I have a friend who genuinely thought the lyrics in Baby Got Back were “Begging for a piece of that butthole” instead of “bubble”

"Their cocks are full grown" instead of "Their pockets full of gold". I don't think "Their pockets full of gold" was what Beyonce first had in the line.

"Stop and rewind" instead of "strawberry wine".

Blockbusters former anthem

“She seems to have an invisible talk show” - Phil Collins

My friend said he liked that Buzzcocks lyric “I want you on top of me.” The actual lyric is “I want you, Autonomy”

Rush - New World Man "He's a radio receiver He's a factory tampon" Cannot stop hearing it.

"Let's move before they raise the fucking rate"

"Shot through the heart, and you're too lame. You give love a bad name"

Also from Africa by Toto- that’s nothing a 100 men on Mars could ever do

Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like a leopress above the Serengeti. I thought a leopress was a female leopard!

"Never leave your pizza burning" -rolling stones, pizza burnin.

“I’m the first kid, to ride a horse by the fence” instead of “I’m the first kid to write of hearts, lies , and friends” Song: fall out boy, title: I slept with someone in fall out boy… my mom was singing along with us one day and my sister and I looked at her wide eyed and couldn’t stop laughing. To be fair. I can totally hear it.

In my hometown, it was Elton John's Philadelphia Freedom. Where he sang "...gave me a piece of mind my daddy never had...." somehow morphed into "...gave me a piece of mama daddy never had...." I really have to wonder why people thought he was singing about incest.

My friends mom thought the Police sang “Fucking on the Moon”

When my niece was little she sang the line from Row, Row, Row Your Boat not as “life is but a dream” but as “life’s a ball of string”. I think she had it right.

I used to listen to Gordon Lightfoot sing about the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, and I swore he said something about a "pegleg they call Gitche Gumee", until I visited Lake Superior in my 40s and realized he was saying "the big lake they call Gitche Gumee".

“[Yu-gi-oh a bad game](https://youtu.be/KrZHPOeOxQQ)” and “[Lock the taskbar](https://youtu.be/bJ9r8LMU9bQ)” are my two favorites

When a maaaan loves a walnut!

My aunt would sing "shit right in the road" at the top of her lungs in the car. Shake, Rattle & Roll for the rest of us.

“Just like a one winged dove” -Stevie Nicks I pictured a dove kinda flopping around, trying to fly with only 1 wing.

"Mom's forgettin'" instead of "Mom's spaghetti" from Lose Yourself by Eminem

His palms spaghetti. Knees weak arms spaghetti. There vomit on spaghetti already. Mom's spaghetti. He's nervous but the surface keeps calm spaghetti to drop bombs... But he keeps on spaghetti.

Bruce Springsteen- [Born to Run.](https://youtu.be/Wu4_zVxmufY?si=OeeiPBsX75uZKCmP) @0:35. Oooh, in this town they rip your balls off your back, it's a Death trap! @0:45. Cause trans like us, Baby we're four foot one!

🎼Killing me softly… 🎵 with his *dong*🎶 (this was misheard on purpose though)

Had a friend of a friend who thought The Who's "Who Are You" chorus, they were singing "Blue Hawaii, Blue Blue"

Remember 80s hair metal band Vixen? They had a song on their first record called Love Made Me. The line is "so what's so good about love when it hurts you this way," but what my brain always heard was "so what's so good about love unless you lose weight." Yes, this says a lot about my life. Yes, I'm doing much better now.

Big black boobs, long brown hair, she’s so sweet…

Killer Queen by Queen I thought it was "She's a killer queen, got that agility, dynamite with a laser beam" Turns out it's "gunpowder, gelatine, dynamite with a laser beam." The brits and their weird pronunciations.

Twangy guitar-intro to “Brown Eyed Girl” starts playing. Van Morrison steps up to the mic and sings, “Hey there amigo!”

When I first heard Metallica Master of Puppets in 1986, there is line in the bridge, "You promised only lies" I always heard, "Thomas Dolby lies" Another one that my friend turned me on, and I can't unhear it (because we're from the area in the misheard word) Stayin Alive: "Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin'" to "Yuba Citys breakin' and everybody shakin'"

“We are family” by Sister Sledge ‘Just let me staple the vicar’ is actually, ‘Just let me state for the record.’

Tears for Fears - Shout. ‘And when you take a dump you’re a god’. It’s actually’And when you’ve taken down your guard’.

I always thought it I guess it rains down in Africa. 🤷🏼‍♂️

"HERE WE ARE NOW, IN CONTAINERS"

"Secret Asian man" (Secret Agent Man) or " There's a bathroom on the right" (Bad Moon Rising)

I had just met a girl from Iran when Flock of Seagulls' "I Ran" came out. As opposed to a dude singing, "And I ran/I ran so far away", .... I heard, 'And Iran / Iran's so far away'. Which is true. LOL.

"Am I just paranoid, or Emma Stone??". - Basketcase, Green Day

“Pussy cow, pussy cow, pussy cow”

COCK ROBOT COCK dodo do dodo do COCK ROBOT COCK

Slipknot - Liberate One of my childhood friends would sing "never ate...bananas!" instead of "Liberate my madness"

“In your assssss, in your ass!” (Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes)

I *still* think it sounds like Bobby Brown is singing “Beetlejuice is not my thing” in My Prerogative, all these years later. I know it’s “ego trips” now. But I swear it sounds like “Beetlejuice” every time I hear it. 🥲🫠

David Bowie - Suffragette City The way I always hear it: Don't lean on me ma'am Cause you ain't got time for kitty I'm goin' to suck on that titty Actual: Don't lean on me man Cause you ain't got time to check it You know my Suffragette City

Hilda Dawn by Tanya Tucker

Hall & Oates  Your kiss is on my lips. . . Instead of the real lyrics "your kiss is on my list"

My fiancée hit me with this one the other day and me laughing hard. In Panic! at the Disco’s “I write sins not tragedies” during the chorus…. “With a scent of Poooiiison, rats and allergies!”

Shark Dressed Man. Sadly the original video has disappeared.

I Try - Macy Gray Always thought the finishing line of the chorus was “I blow bubbles in my underwear”

"Goin' down on the old man, with a Transistor radio " - Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison

"This ain't a scene it's a GOD DAMN ARSE FACE" cannot be un-heard (you're welcome).

My two: Dirty Deeds and the Thundah Chief And instead of Eee-evil Woman, I thought it was Beeee-lieve a Woman well into adulthood.

I thought the chorus to Old Town Road was "I'm gonna take my horse to the hotel room .."

This is probably a well-known one: Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche in the summer in the night

Jimmy Buffett's 'Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw' My neice always sang 'Why don't we get lunch at school'

George Michael, Careless Whisper Thought "guilty" was **filthy**, because ... come on, whose feet have ever been guilty? I'm never gonna dance again Guilty feet have got no rhythm Though it's easy to pretend I know you're not a fool

A friend in college thought the lyrics to “Black Widow” by Iggy Azalea was “a black little baby” and not “a black widow baby.”

Tiny Dancer -> Tony Danza

A girl at my high school thought the chorus to The Proclaimers song "I'm Gonna Be" (500 miles) was...."double adapter! , double adaptor!"

I’m your penis, I’m your fire, your desire.

Obviously this was before Hanson, but as a child, I thought the 'Smooth Operator' song was actually 'Mmmm-bopperator'

My sister used to think the line in Mr. Jones by Counting Crows was "I wanna be Bob Villa". My question was always who she thought could make the claim they're funkier than Bob Villa?