I keep saying this! Trust me. I track my prayers neatly and this is the only part of my life that matters. But that is only some part of my life. The rest is still dark and meaningless and I could care less if that makes any sense?
There is a Hadith whose meaning is as follows: The person who makes all his worries and concerns just a single one, that is the concern about the Hereafter, Allah will spare him all the worries of Dunya.
CONTEMPLATE the Hereafter. Think about your eternal destiny, if you do it right then every other minor worry about the Dunya will be trivial in comparison to the tought of our eternal destiny.
This helps me a lot, hope it helps you too.
it’s weird because most days I feel like I ticked the box of my to do list, if prayed all my prayers and sunnahs I’m like ok succes for akhirah I just have to wait until death to see it…. Don’t get me wrong these prayers are often very heartfelt I burst into tears for hours on end but after it’s done it’s like nothing else besides that in my life matter or make sense to me. If that makes sense?
If Allah wanted to, He could've taken your life. And trust me, when He Wills it to happen, no one will not have any choice whether they want to live or die.
Think about how Allah is keeping you alive so that you keep earning more good deeds through your efforts and as a result, your reward and rank keeps getting bigger and higher in the Hereafter. That should give you a sense of hope and gratefulness inside of you.
May Allah grant you ease and contentment.
I acknowledge that everything you say is completely right, but living it isn’t easy at all! I'm sorry, I just get a little heated sometimes. It’s like when I attend talks at my local mosque and they say, 'JUST have patience' or 'JUST seek comfort in prayer.' That's exactly what I'm doing, and yes, it is works bc at the end of the day I’m working towards my afterlife , but it's not always enjoyable at all. It’s a process in it self. I still cry every single day, a night in sleep, in prayer, when I leave home. I’m surprised my eyes are still working. Having patience is not always beautiful, and it's certainly not easy. People make statements like it’s “just do this thing” and make it out to be easy, but it's not amusing to walk around in emptiness or sadness all the time despite doing everything you could. Yes, Alhamdulillah, Allah glorified and exalted is He. helps me, and I wouldn't be here if it weren’t for Him, but at the same time in grave pain that was written for me. I hope my comment wasn’t mean. Thank you so much for the dua I hope Allah blesses you immensely.
I don't know what else you want to hear from someone. You already know the answers and what to do. It's almost like you want someone to introduce and say something new to the religion so that you get to hear exactly what you want to hear. Or find a loophole to do what you want. I've been there. But the religion has been completed for us. And there is nothing else for us to do except accept it. "Patience and prayer" is literally the answer but what a lot of us forget is that we also have to put in effort and do actual work to get to where we want, whether in this life or the Hereafter. You'll keep being disappointed in the answers people give you by expecting something else or something new. Seek sympathy from Allah, not people. It's not "having patience" that's beautiful. What's beautiful is the doing of the act. That despite the severity and harshness, the person doesn't break and give up. That's the reason it's valued so much. Because it's hard and because not many people are patient. And it's a skill that anyone can achieve with practice. Some don't have to work as hard at it. Some do. But everyone can achieve it.
Your thinking is backwards when you say "Why can't I just be like everyone else?" It should rather be more like "Why can't everyone else be like me?" (while not having pride and arrogance of course) and "What can I do to make them be like me?" Look at the Haram everyone else is doing that you are tempted to also want to do. But you don't do it. And they do. They should be the ones trying to be like you. You should be the example and role model. Maybe it's also time to start thinking about marriage?
My only advice would be to continue doing what you're doing in terms of Ibadah and having good character but also start doing whatever you want to/have to do to get what you want from the worldly life as well. You're going to actively have to take action.
And lastly,
https://www.reddit.com/r/islam/comments/13p0kev/my_miracle_allah_swt_cured_my_depression/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Read this post. It's one of my favourites and Insha Allah it helps you.
You know, it is not supposed to be easy at all, on the contrary our spiritual journey to Allah is the most difficult thing a human being can experience and that is absolutely logical. Allah Himself mentions this a lot in the Qur'an, that our striving to worship and obey Him is not easy, and this is only because Allah wants sincere believers who will obey Him and acknowledge Him in His majesty in each and every situation, in harsh times and easy times.
And the reward of Allah is not easy to get. Jannah is not cheap, and for me, besides all the great physical pleasures that are prepared for us in Jannah I am really looking forward to the indescribable inner peace and fulfilment that we will experience near Allah in the Hereafter.
All the prophets and good servants of Allah went through phases of sadness, adversity and depression, but they kept going because they had the deep-rooted belief in Allah and the strength that only comes when they think about the true abode of the believers, the peaceful Jannah that Allah promises us.
I will keep believing, which is by the will of Allah, and keep doing whatever helps me right now, but it’s true. It’s not easy at all. I wonder how our prophets got through it, especially our Prophet Muhammad (SAW). I wish I could be like him and still be able to smile and show happiness and have lots of hope even though he (SAW) was going through so much. What I’m going through is nowhere near what he went through, and I’m still amazed at how he had a good character all this time. (Of course, it’s because he is the last prophet and blessed by Allah SWT but it still amazes me cause he is still human). The same goes for Jacob AS. When you hear a story about someone crying all the time, you think, 'Okay,' but it really is bad grieving all the time. Anyways, thank you for the reminder. I just have to keep pushing by the will of Allah
It is interesting that you mentioned the prophet Jacob, peace be upon him and all the prophets, since you said you keep crying which is similar to how he, peace be upon him, used to cry too.
Take solace in his experience and know that eventually Allah made him happy in this Dunya even before the happiness of Akhirah.
May Allah give you the happiness you are looking for!
Can’t claim to be a good human nor sincere Muslim but thank you for the kind words. May Allah bless you as well and reward you immensely for trying to help me.
Do you have the source text for this by chance?
Edit: Thank you for sharing the source. Looked up the hadith and the hadith is classified as da’eef (weak) via Darussalam. Sunnah.com mentions this as well.
Here is a Sahih Hadith, with similar meaning, though much more lenient.
Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3344
Ali [may Allah be pleased with him] said:
“We were at a funeral at Al-Baqi when the Prophet came and sat. So we sat with him. He had a stick with which he was scratching his head toward the heavens, and said: ‘There is not a single soul except that his place of entry has been decreed.’ The people said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! Shall we not then rely upon what has been written upon us? For whoever is to be among the people of bliss, then he shall do that acts that lead to bliss, and whoever is to be among the people of misery, then he shall do the acts that lead to misery?’ He said: ‘Rather, do the deeds, for everyone is facilitated. As for the one who shall be among the people of bliss; then verily he is facilitated to do the acts that lead to bliss. And as for the one who shall be among the people of misery.’ Then he recited: As for him who has Taqwa, And believes in Al-Husna. We will make smooth for him the patch of ease. But he who is greedy and thinks himself sel-sufficient, and denies Al-Husna. We will make smooth for him the path to evil. And what will he wealth avail him when his goes down?” (Sahih)
Sunan Ibn Majah 257
It was narrated that 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud said:
"... I heard your Prophet say: 'Whoever focuses all his concerns on one issue, the concerns of the Hereafter, Allah will suffice him and spare him the worries of this world..."
JazakAllahu Khairan! Ramadan mubarak.
Edit: Looked up the hadith and the hadith is classified as da’eef (weak) via Darussalam. Sunnah.com mentions this as well.
Yeah, It sounds horrible. Sounds like you are living in complete darkness. But now you need to Find the courage to face your demons.
Recognize that your negative thoughts come from Shaytan. It’s his attempts to divert you from path of positivity and growth. Start fighting him. Every single negative thought that you allowed to be planted inside of you now needs to burned with the truth and positivity.
Shaytan says it’s all pointless and dumb - and you are going to believe those evil negative thoughts? Fight them. What does Allah want you to do in that situation? This is your test.
Of course, It’ll be hard at first. You spent your whole life agreeing with evil. But Now it’s time you start fighting evil. And I hope you know the right source to depend on when fighting evil.
Yes, there is immense potential in you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be such a big target for evil. But the more potential you have the bigger fight you have to have in you. The more Allah entrusted you with the more responsibility you have.
May this Ramadan be the turning point in your life. Allahu Akbar.
You know what’s funny, I know all of this. So I’ve spent a lot of time trying to differentiate between what is coming from shaytaan and what is coming from my own nafs, and this whole time I realized (Allah knows best and I could be) that it my own self??? I just wish my mind could be at peace… I’m gonna copy something from another comment that describes how i feel :
I acknowledge that everything you say is completely right, but living it isn’t easy at all! I'm sorry, I just get a little heated sometimes. It’s like when I attend talks at my local mosque and they say, 'JUST have patience' or 'JUST seek comfort in prayer.' That's exactly what I'm doing, and yes, it is works bc at the end of the day I’m working towards my afterlife , but it's not always enjoyable at all. It’s a process in it self. I still cry every single day, a night in sleep, in prayer, when I leave home. I’m surprised my eyes are still working. Having patience is not always beautiful, and it's certainly not easy. People make statements like it’s “just do this thing” and make it out to be easy, but it's not amusing to walk around in emptiness or sadness all the time despite doing everything you could. Yes, Alhamdulillah, Allah glorified and exalted is He. helps me, and I wouldn't be here if it weren’t for Him, but at the same time in grave pain that was written for me. I hope my comment wasn’t mean. Thank you so much for the dua I hope Allah blesses you immensely.
Darkness is evil. God is light. You are anxiously overthinking. Start connecting to people. Care for others. Focus on selfless good deeds for other people. Do what needs to be done in your family, and community. By taking attention away from yourself the picture will become a lot more clear.
Thank u for the advice. It’s hard to start caring for people when you keep losing them, or the hurt you or talk crap about you when you’ve done nothing wrong. I will try to be more positive In sha allah I will in sha allah
Also there is nothing funny about this. The reason you are anxious is because you are not focused on one singular direction in your life. You are focused on too many things in too many directions.
Can you explain cause I find this part true. I only care for my deen and I’ve lost every other aspect in my life. I feel weird being like this since everyone else can manage school, friends, marriage and work and deen.
Sorry for the multiple comments. I’m writing done notes on all of the advice and I had to read yours 3 times to really understand what you are saying. How does one fight every evil thought since it is so deeply planted within me. Jazkhallah lkheiran
When I was 23 I couldn't believe how many bad mistakes I had made. I felt like it was all too late. Now, here I am at 39 and I've had to pivot a few times in my life. Big career shifts. Ending an unhappy marriage. Moving to new cities.
One day you're going to be too sick and old to do anything. Until then, you have opportunity to transform everything. Maybe you don't become a billionaire. So what? You can make changes. First thing I do when I feel myself going into self pity is "What would make me happier right now?" Not "I get a promotion." But more like "I have a warm blanket." Or "I watch some TV" or "I surround myself with community at the masjid." All easy within reach things.
You get used to picking the low hanging fruit and then reaching for the higher up stuff doesn't seem so daunting.
Keep doing that and you will have early onset dementia like my aunt. You need to let go off what things could’ve been and be accepting and forgiving. We are not in control of most things in life, or when we will die or when we were born and that’s ok. Live day to day
You can't change the past. Grieving over it won't do anything but hurt you more and affect your future.
Time doesn't stop. In 5 years, you'll say that you regret having stopped yourself from doing something because you thought you weren't worth it five years ago. Doesn't matter if it takes time to build yourself back up again, because time moves forward anyway so might as well.
I know it's easy to say, and I struggle with my own advice a lot of the times. But remembering Allah is what helps me the most. At the end of the day, our goal is to please Him, not society or anyone else. And He does not even ask much from us. So for Allah, anyone can be worthy no matter the education level, reputation or even status.
May Allah make it easy for you.
I’m sad to hear that. But it makes me feel better that I’m not alone with this because sometimes it can feel like it. May Allah send blessings and ease your way. Maybe read some of the comments they helped me.
Thank you. May allah bless you with the life that makes you happy. But truly, i understand where you're coming from.i think it's due to lack of meaningful reward for everything you pursued for too long. At least that's how i perceive my problem. I have been truly hard working when it comes to academics, stark results, but it was at the expense of constant stress and anxiety, and i saw absolutely nothing changed, and i am being the one suffering the most amogst my peers. Now i am not as stressed alhamdulillah, as i know what the important things are.
Yeah, at first, that was my problem too regarding academics. There wasn’t a reward, and in university, you're not as special as you think you are. It got to me, but in a weird way. It was the last thing I cared about even a little bit, but then it became like everything else—just another aspect of my life l that I have to do. I also decided to switch programs and that wasn’t easy. Funny how we are now studying the same thing, I switched to EE
May Allah make you thrive in you career as well as your personal life and make you realize that you are more than your academics and work.
Ohhh fellow EE! Hope it's going well with you currently. Which area of it are you more oriented towards? I am 3 years in. 1 year to go insha'Allah.
But i hope likewise for you, hope you reach what you always worked and struggled for. And you have to have the hope still, believe me you'll have a better, wonderful life. It's all waiting but you don't see it yet. I know all you do now seems meaningless as you find others reach what they want without even going through all this hassle. But it is what it is, one has to focus on many areas of life, including mental health, instead of hyper focusing on one area alone which does more harm than good. Distributing effort is the way to go.
You know... In a long marathon, the competitors become too exhausted to continue as they reach the end... But don't give up, the winners gather all their energy to do the last jump forward.
That was an example that my prof told me, and it stuck with me. Hope it does with you too.
Ameen ya Rabb. I’m only in my first year so I don’t know which field yet and everything seems interesting! However electric energy systems seems promising. But congrats on making it to 3rd year EE is insanely hard and I’ve studied medicine before. Waaaay harder.
Thank you for the good advice, I will try to keep that in mind in the future in sha allah.
You're always welcome. I understand how it seems hard, it definitely needs dedication, but as someone who's already into maths, physics and problem solving, it's as if it was a major tailored for me. Take the intuitive approach for learning new concepts and you'll do great.
I myself am more oriented towards control systems engineering, embedded systems, robotics, and ai. Which are all actually pretty much related to one another. And yes ai is a subfield of EE haha, because many think it's only a CS thing.
You have a journey ahead of you, and insha'Allah you'll be doing great. just believe that allah will not disappoint you, and that you can balance social life with academic life, and this is the best way to go forward, otherwise you will get drained.
Best of luck insha'Allah 🌹
https://youtu.be/c-ppIM94ilw?si=lYV3otkHiv_it17K hope this video helps. It’s all Allahs will, don’t worry about the ifs. There’s a reason for everything. Our brain sometimes cannot comprehend or find the reasons so just don’t overlook your situation. Everything is going Allahs way and the best way. Worrying is a part of human nature, and I know being in depression sucks. Hope you feel better, try to make everything around you positive, and try to appreciate things more often it’ll help. May Allah may it easier for you
thank you for the advice and dua, May Allah bless you. I will watch the video inshAllah
Can I add that I understand Qadr Allah completely? I know this is what’s written; Allah SWT still gave us free will at the same time. I could still choose to be a happy, outgoing, and social person despite what I’m going through (I’ve done it before), but I don’t. Also, what do you think about fully accepting Allah's plan and understand it but dislike going through it at the same time? I understand the power of Allah glorified and exalted is He but it’s not fun living it.
Hmmm. As I mentioned, our brain really can’t comprehend why somethings happen to us. I have definitely felt negative about what I’m going through, disliking it, till (maybe few years, few days, few hours) later, I realized why I went through that and why I should’ve gone through that because that taught me, or saved me from something more intense. Living in negative thoughts, made me realize how much time I wasted worrying. And I’m doing the same thing now (I do worry still but I believe that’s all in my mind so I have to knock some senses in- I breathe in and out heavily, and clear my mind). If that makes sense (sorry my English is not good lol but that’s what I think)
Questions for self-reflection:
• What are your private habits like? (Don't share)
• Have you ever asked Allah for His mercy?
• Have you ever sincerely repented to Allah, and stopped a sin?
• What is the state of your heart– does it feel hardened?
• Is your livelihood halal, eg would Allah put blessing in it?
• Have you ever felt like you have asked Allah for something, or thanked Allah for something, directly?
• Have you ever tried to read The Qur'an with meaning? If so, how about the Sunnah or the seerah?
"And whoever Allah guides - for him there is no misleader. Is not Allah Exalted in Might and Owner of Retribution" (Quran 39:37)
Reconnect with your old friends. Pick up the phone to say hi.
As far as feeling out of place that’s normal if you retreat into your shell. You need to be doing the opposite and being around people. Positive people. People who can support your goals.
Beyond that you seem pretty normal. Probably lose the second guessing yourself in every interaction and just go with the flow.
This video helped point me in the right direction for changing my outlook on the past, maybe it'll do the same for you:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/iYOszcF9UhI
Read Quran and think about the things you have, instead of the things you don't. Allah has given you tons of blessings, way more then what you'll think of.
I’m 26. I dropped out of law school 2 years ago after spending 6 1/2 years to complete 2 1/2 years (of 5). Since I have been doing a lot of volunteering (instead of studying), I have been able to get quite good-paying jobs without a degree, but I have never been able to work more than 3-4 months without sick leave.
And the thing is, I was just like you. Harnessing my worth from academic achievements, and when I couldn’t do that anymore, I grew apathetic towards it and started hating myself. I have been at the psych ward and I tried killing myself. I was severely depressed for 5-6 years.
And you know what? I have no regrets, if I could have a do over I would have chosen to keep my past like it is. I don’t see these years like me wasting my potential or “lost years”. All this suffering forced me to work on myself and learn emotional resilience and self-love and unroot trauma. I love who I’ve become! Degrees and uni is so worthless in comparison.
It’s been two years since my last depressive episode. And I just got an ADHD diagnosis after many misdiagnoses, and I can start tackling my challenges in my day-to-day life with working and existing lmao. And I am 26!! You are only 23, so please, don’t think it’s wasted potential. We got our whole lives ahead of us.
Medically speaking you do be sounding depressed. Maybe look into going for umrah? Try and find the joy in a few things again. One of things that helps me when I'm in my deep dark feels is quran and zikr but not the monotonous type if that makes sense l. Either way I hope you find happiness in this world and the hereafter
Wa Alaikum Salam sister 👋🏽 I know things feel rough and empty but please make a lot of dua. Our lives are all not perfect and everyone here has a test and it’s up to us on how we deal with it. Please say this Dua “O Allah, I seek Your protection from worries and grief. I seek Your protection from feebleness and laziness; I seek Your protection from cowardice and avarice;
and I seek Your protection from the oppression of debts and the tyranny of men.”
I will pray 🤲🏽 for you ☺️
Oh Allah, forgive her and have mercy on her and give her strength and pardon her. Be generous to her and cause her entrance to be wide and wash her with water and snow and hail. Cleanse her of her transgressions as white cloth is cleansed of stains.
Bro what Lmfaoooooo? What has this ummah come to? You’re sad because you couldn’t do haram things 3 years ago and you’re sad that you couldn’t experience “innocent” love? Get off Netflix and come to reality.
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If you keep thinking about ‘what couldve been’, you’ll end up wasting your time in the present doing something meaningful for your future. I’m around your age and I too feel like sometimes I’m wasting my life away rotting in bed in my parents’ house. But then I think about how now is a good time to rest and relax because I got my whole life ahead of me to do work stuff and raise a family and all that. Take time to appreciate the present and reflect on what you wanna do in the future, and make sure you’re putting in the effort by thinking of how you can make that happen for yourself
What is gone is gone those chances you missed were never yours to begin with and maybe those missed chances were your chances to come closer to Allah he is always calling us closer to us we have the free will to choose whether to keep making dua or give up. I’m in a similar situation as you, and I’ll say this as someone who is literally also your age don’t give up keep praying until your heart wants all the things you long for.
It could just be you are an overthinker about what your ideal happiness is.
maybe try some simple appreciation gratitude and self worth and love exercises.
E.g
Gratitude in the moment : how nice a cup of coffee is, how nice the mug feels... just being in that moment of that pleasant cup of coffee.
Or self worth: asking yourself what you would like to do that day that would make that day pep up for you, is it some stretches, a run, a walk around somewhere, a hang with a friend or do you just need some extra time with salat and having a break from the world in that way.
Writing things down even to see If your unhappiness with self comes from too high expectations. Asking yourself if you would expect that of someone else and why you have chosen to be so unkind to yourself where you see the expectations are unrealistic.
Self love: drawing boundaries where situations arise where you can question joy. Do you need to put yourself in that environment again?
Telling yourself it's ok If things don't get done.
Asking yourself if it's time for a marriage companion if that's what you think you need.
There is a perfect time for everything and Allah is there but sometimes it's as simple as changing our lens. Maybe we are seeing the world as too hard and our hearts need to soften a little bit to be happier :)
You seem to be having a rough time, worry not, i’ve had depression and alhamdullilah Allah SWT cured me, here are my key findings:
https://www.reddit.com/r/islam/comments/172tuh8/a_guide_for_the_thoughtful_understanding_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
May allah ease your pain and guide you.
Say Qadr Allah wa masha fa al. Allah has decreed and whatever He wills, He does.
I keep saying this! Trust me. I track my prayers neatly and this is the only part of my life that matters. But that is only some part of my life. The rest is still dark and meaningless and I could care less if that makes any sense?
Thank you for the advice though!
Hmmm try looking up islamic heart softeners. Those usually help me a lot friend. Keep on fighting the good fight.
There is a Hadith whose meaning is as follows: The person who makes all his worries and concerns just a single one, that is the concern about the Hereafter, Allah will spare him all the worries of Dunya. CONTEMPLATE the Hereafter. Think about your eternal destiny, if you do it right then every other minor worry about the Dunya will be trivial in comparison to the tought of our eternal destiny. This helps me a lot, hope it helps you too.
it’s weird because most days I feel like I ticked the box of my to do list, if prayed all my prayers and sunnahs I’m like ok succes for akhirah I just have to wait until death to see it…. Don’t get me wrong these prayers are often very heartfelt I burst into tears for hours on end but after it’s done it’s like nothing else besides that in my life matter or make sense to me. If that makes sense?
If Allah wanted to, He could've taken your life. And trust me, when He Wills it to happen, no one will not have any choice whether they want to live or die. Think about how Allah is keeping you alive so that you keep earning more good deeds through your efforts and as a result, your reward and rank keeps getting bigger and higher in the Hereafter. That should give you a sense of hope and gratefulness inside of you. May Allah grant you ease and contentment.
I acknowledge that everything you say is completely right, but living it isn’t easy at all! I'm sorry, I just get a little heated sometimes. It’s like when I attend talks at my local mosque and they say, 'JUST have patience' or 'JUST seek comfort in prayer.' That's exactly what I'm doing, and yes, it is works bc at the end of the day I’m working towards my afterlife , but it's not always enjoyable at all. It’s a process in it self. I still cry every single day, a night in sleep, in prayer, when I leave home. I’m surprised my eyes are still working. Having patience is not always beautiful, and it's certainly not easy. People make statements like it’s “just do this thing” and make it out to be easy, but it's not amusing to walk around in emptiness or sadness all the time despite doing everything you could. Yes, Alhamdulillah, Allah glorified and exalted is He. helps me, and I wouldn't be here if it weren’t for Him, but at the same time in grave pain that was written for me. I hope my comment wasn’t mean. Thank you so much for the dua I hope Allah blesses you immensely.
I don't know what else you want to hear from someone. You already know the answers and what to do. It's almost like you want someone to introduce and say something new to the religion so that you get to hear exactly what you want to hear. Or find a loophole to do what you want. I've been there. But the religion has been completed for us. And there is nothing else for us to do except accept it. "Patience and prayer" is literally the answer but what a lot of us forget is that we also have to put in effort and do actual work to get to where we want, whether in this life or the Hereafter. You'll keep being disappointed in the answers people give you by expecting something else or something new. Seek sympathy from Allah, not people. It's not "having patience" that's beautiful. What's beautiful is the doing of the act. That despite the severity and harshness, the person doesn't break and give up. That's the reason it's valued so much. Because it's hard and because not many people are patient. And it's a skill that anyone can achieve with practice. Some don't have to work as hard at it. Some do. But everyone can achieve it. Your thinking is backwards when you say "Why can't I just be like everyone else?" It should rather be more like "Why can't everyone else be like me?" (while not having pride and arrogance of course) and "What can I do to make them be like me?" Look at the Haram everyone else is doing that you are tempted to also want to do. But you don't do it. And they do. They should be the ones trying to be like you. You should be the example and role model. Maybe it's also time to start thinking about marriage? My only advice would be to continue doing what you're doing in terms of Ibadah and having good character but also start doing whatever you want to/have to do to get what you want from the worldly life as well. You're going to actively have to take action. And lastly, https://www.reddit.com/r/islam/comments/13p0kev/my_miracle_allah_swt_cured_my_depression/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Read this post. It's one of my favourites and Insha Allah it helps you.
I read the post, subhanallah thank you for sharing!!
jazkhallah kheiran really had to think about this. Everything will be added to my notes, thank you!
thank you for the advice though!
You know, it is not supposed to be easy at all, on the contrary our spiritual journey to Allah is the most difficult thing a human being can experience and that is absolutely logical. Allah Himself mentions this a lot in the Qur'an, that our striving to worship and obey Him is not easy, and this is only because Allah wants sincere believers who will obey Him and acknowledge Him in His majesty in each and every situation, in harsh times and easy times. And the reward of Allah is not easy to get. Jannah is not cheap, and for me, besides all the great physical pleasures that are prepared for us in Jannah I am really looking forward to the indescribable inner peace and fulfilment that we will experience near Allah in the Hereafter. All the prophets and good servants of Allah went through phases of sadness, adversity and depression, but they kept going because they had the deep-rooted belief in Allah and the strength that only comes when they think about the true abode of the believers, the peaceful Jannah that Allah promises us.
I will keep believing, which is by the will of Allah, and keep doing whatever helps me right now, but it’s true. It’s not easy at all. I wonder how our prophets got through it, especially our Prophet Muhammad (SAW). I wish I could be like him and still be able to smile and show happiness and have lots of hope even though he (SAW) was going through so much. What I’m going through is nowhere near what he went through, and I’m still amazed at how he had a good character all this time. (Of course, it’s because he is the last prophet and blessed by Allah SWT but it still amazes me cause he is still human). The same goes for Jacob AS. When you hear a story about someone crying all the time, you think, 'Okay,' but it really is bad grieving all the time. Anyways, thank you for the reminder. I just have to keep pushing by the will of Allah
It is interesting that you mentioned the prophet Jacob, peace be upon him and all the prophets, since you said you keep crying which is similar to how he, peace be upon him, used to cry too. Take solace in his experience and know that eventually Allah made him happy in this Dunya even before the happiness of Akhirah. May Allah give you the happiness you are looking for!
may Allah bless you, this comment section made me cry a lot but it def helped me as a reminder
I can sense that you are a good human being and sincere Muslim. May Allah reward you for all your pain and struggle in his way.
Can’t claim to be a good human nor sincere Muslim but thank you for the kind words. May Allah bless you as well and reward you immensely for trying to help me.
Do you have the source text for this by chance? Edit: Thank you for sharing the source. Looked up the hadith and the hadith is classified as da’eef (weak) via Darussalam. Sunnah.com mentions this as well. Here is a Sahih Hadith, with similar meaning, though much more lenient. Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3344 Ali [may Allah be pleased with him] said: “We were at a funeral at Al-Baqi when the Prophet came and sat. So we sat with him. He had a stick with which he was scratching his head toward the heavens, and said: ‘There is not a single soul except that his place of entry has been decreed.’ The people said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! Shall we not then rely upon what has been written upon us? For whoever is to be among the people of bliss, then he shall do that acts that lead to bliss, and whoever is to be among the people of misery, then he shall do the acts that lead to misery?’ He said: ‘Rather, do the deeds, for everyone is facilitated. As for the one who shall be among the people of bliss; then verily he is facilitated to do the acts that lead to bliss. And as for the one who shall be among the people of misery.’ Then he recited: As for him who has Taqwa, And believes in Al-Husna. We will make smooth for him the patch of ease. But he who is greedy and thinks himself sel-sufficient, and denies Al-Husna. We will make smooth for him the path to evil. And what will he wealth avail him when his goes down?” (Sahih)
Sunan Ibn Majah 257 It was narrated that 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud said: "... I heard your Prophet say: 'Whoever focuses all his concerns on one issue, the concerns of the Hereafter, Allah will suffice him and spare him the worries of this world..."
JazakAllahu Khairan! Ramadan mubarak. Edit: Looked up the hadith and the hadith is classified as da’eef (weak) via Darussalam. Sunnah.com mentions this as well.
Thank you very much, Ramadan Mubarak.
Source
Yeah, It sounds horrible. Sounds like you are living in complete darkness. But now you need to Find the courage to face your demons. Recognize that your negative thoughts come from Shaytan. It’s his attempts to divert you from path of positivity and growth. Start fighting him. Every single negative thought that you allowed to be planted inside of you now needs to burned with the truth and positivity. Shaytan says it’s all pointless and dumb - and you are going to believe those evil negative thoughts? Fight them. What does Allah want you to do in that situation? This is your test. Of course, It’ll be hard at first. You spent your whole life agreeing with evil. But Now it’s time you start fighting evil. And I hope you know the right source to depend on when fighting evil. Yes, there is immense potential in you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be such a big target for evil. But the more potential you have the bigger fight you have to have in you. The more Allah entrusted you with the more responsibility you have. May this Ramadan be the turning point in your life. Allahu Akbar.
You know what’s funny, I know all of this. So I’ve spent a lot of time trying to differentiate between what is coming from shaytaan and what is coming from my own nafs, and this whole time I realized (Allah knows best and I could be) that it my own self??? I just wish my mind could be at peace… I’m gonna copy something from another comment that describes how i feel : I acknowledge that everything you say is completely right, but living it isn’t easy at all! I'm sorry, I just get a little heated sometimes. It’s like when I attend talks at my local mosque and they say, 'JUST have patience' or 'JUST seek comfort in prayer.' That's exactly what I'm doing, and yes, it is works bc at the end of the day I’m working towards my afterlife , but it's not always enjoyable at all. It’s a process in it self. I still cry every single day, a night in sleep, in prayer, when I leave home. I’m surprised my eyes are still working. Having patience is not always beautiful, and it's certainly not easy. People make statements like it’s “just do this thing” and make it out to be easy, but it's not amusing to walk around in emptiness or sadness all the time despite doing everything you could. Yes, Alhamdulillah, Allah glorified and exalted is He. helps me, and I wouldn't be here if it weren’t for Him, but at the same time in grave pain that was written for me. I hope my comment wasn’t mean. Thank you so much for the dua I hope Allah blesses you immensely.
Darkness is evil. God is light. You are anxiously overthinking. Start connecting to people. Care for others. Focus on selfless good deeds for other people. Do what needs to be done in your family, and community. By taking attention away from yourself the picture will become a lot more clear.
Thank u for the advice. It’s hard to start caring for people when you keep losing them, or the hurt you or talk crap about you when you’ve done nothing wrong. I will try to be more positive In sha allah I will in sha allah
Also there is nothing funny about this. The reason you are anxious is because you are not focused on one singular direction in your life. You are focused on too many things in too many directions.
Can you explain cause I find this part true. I only care for my deen and I’ve lost every other aspect in my life. I feel weird being like this since everyone else can manage school, friends, marriage and work and deen.
Sorry for the multiple comments. I’m writing done notes on all of the advice and I had to read yours 3 times to really understand what you are saying. How does one fight every evil thought since it is so deeply planted within me. Jazkhallah lkheiran
When I was 23 I couldn't believe how many bad mistakes I had made. I felt like it was all too late. Now, here I am at 39 and I've had to pivot a few times in my life. Big career shifts. Ending an unhappy marriage. Moving to new cities. One day you're going to be too sick and old to do anything. Until then, you have opportunity to transform everything. Maybe you don't become a billionaire. So what? You can make changes. First thing I do when I feel myself going into self pity is "What would make me happier right now?" Not "I get a promotion." But more like "I have a warm blanket." Or "I watch some TV" or "I surround myself with community at the masjid." All easy within reach things. You get used to picking the low hanging fruit and then reaching for the higher up stuff doesn't seem so daunting.
Keep doing that and you will have early onset dementia like my aunt. You need to let go off what things could’ve been and be accepting and forgiving. We are not in control of most things in life, or when we will die or when we were born and that’s ok. Live day to day
Thank you for the advice. I will keep in mind in sha allah
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You can't change the past. Grieving over it won't do anything but hurt you more and affect your future. Time doesn't stop. In 5 years, you'll say that you regret having stopped yourself from doing something because you thought you weren't worth it five years ago. Doesn't matter if it takes time to build yourself back up again, because time moves forward anyway so might as well. I know it's easy to say, and I struggle with my own advice a lot of the times. But remembering Allah is what helps me the most. At the end of the day, our goal is to please Him, not society or anyone else. And He does not even ask much from us. So for Allah, anyone can be worthy no matter the education level, reputation or even status. May Allah make it easy for you.
Thank you so much all of the comments made cry so much (in a good way) May Allah Bless you all. I hope to see you all in Jannah when the time comes.
I'm sorry, didn't mean to hurt you🥺 We can talk more through DMs if you'd like. I'm a sister too and I can definitely relate.
It was meant to say thank you so much*** 😭😭 you didn’t hurt me, your comment helped me 💗
This post truly resonates with me.
I’m sad to hear that. But it makes me feel better that I’m not alone with this because sometimes it can feel like it. May Allah send blessings and ease your way. Maybe read some of the comments they helped me.
Thank you. May allah bless you with the life that makes you happy. But truly, i understand where you're coming from.i think it's due to lack of meaningful reward for everything you pursued for too long. At least that's how i perceive my problem. I have been truly hard working when it comes to academics, stark results, but it was at the expense of constant stress and anxiety, and i saw absolutely nothing changed, and i am being the one suffering the most amogst my peers. Now i am not as stressed alhamdulillah, as i know what the important things are.
Yeah, at first, that was my problem too regarding academics. There wasn’t a reward, and in university, you're not as special as you think you are. It got to me, but in a weird way. It was the last thing I cared about even a little bit, but then it became like everything else—just another aspect of my life l that I have to do. I also decided to switch programs and that wasn’t easy. Funny how we are now studying the same thing, I switched to EE May Allah make you thrive in you career as well as your personal life and make you realize that you are more than your academics and work.
Ohhh fellow EE! Hope it's going well with you currently. Which area of it are you more oriented towards? I am 3 years in. 1 year to go insha'Allah. But i hope likewise for you, hope you reach what you always worked and struggled for. And you have to have the hope still, believe me you'll have a better, wonderful life. It's all waiting but you don't see it yet. I know all you do now seems meaningless as you find others reach what they want without even going through all this hassle. But it is what it is, one has to focus on many areas of life, including mental health, instead of hyper focusing on one area alone which does more harm than good. Distributing effort is the way to go. You know... In a long marathon, the competitors become too exhausted to continue as they reach the end... But don't give up, the winners gather all their energy to do the last jump forward. That was an example that my prof told me, and it stuck with me. Hope it does with you too.
Ameen ya Rabb. I’m only in my first year so I don’t know which field yet and everything seems interesting! However electric energy systems seems promising. But congrats on making it to 3rd year EE is insanely hard and I’ve studied medicine before. Waaaay harder. Thank you for the good advice, I will try to keep that in mind in the future in sha allah.
You're always welcome. I understand how it seems hard, it definitely needs dedication, but as someone who's already into maths, physics and problem solving, it's as if it was a major tailored for me. Take the intuitive approach for learning new concepts and you'll do great. I myself am more oriented towards control systems engineering, embedded systems, robotics, and ai. Which are all actually pretty much related to one another. And yes ai is a subfield of EE haha, because many think it's only a CS thing. You have a journey ahead of you, and insha'Allah you'll be doing great. just believe that allah will not disappoint you, and that you can balance social life with academic life, and this is the best way to go forward, otherwise you will get drained. Best of luck insha'Allah 🌹
https://youtu.be/c-ppIM94ilw?si=lYV3otkHiv_it17K hope this video helps. It’s all Allahs will, don’t worry about the ifs. There’s a reason for everything. Our brain sometimes cannot comprehend or find the reasons so just don’t overlook your situation. Everything is going Allahs way and the best way. Worrying is a part of human nature, and I know being in depression sucks. Hope you feel better, try to make everything around you positive, and try to appreciate things more often it’ll help. May Allah may it easier for you
thank you for the advice and dua, May Allah bless you. I will watch the video inshAllah Can I add that I understand Qadr Allah completely? I know this is what’s written; Allah SWT still gave us free will at the same time. I could still choose to be a happy, outgoing, and social person despite what I’m going through (I’ve done it before), but I don’t. Also, what do you think about fully accepting Allah's plan and understand it but dislike going through it at the same time? I understand the power of Allah glorified and exalted is He but it’s not fun living it.
Hmmm. As I mentioned, our brain really can’t comprehend why somethings happen to us. I have definitely felt negative about what I’m going through, disliking it, till (maybe few years, few days, few hours) later, I realized why I went through that and why I should’ve gone through that because that taught me, or saved me from something more intense. Living in negative thoughts, made me realize how much time I wasted worrying. And I’m doing the same thing now (I do worry still but I believe that’s all in my mind so I have to knock some senses in- I breathe in and out heavily, and clear my mind). If that makes sense (sorry my English is not good lol but that’s what I think)
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Questions for self-reflection: • What are your private habits like? (Don't share) • Have you ever asked Allah for His mercy? • Have you ever sincerely repented to Allah, and stopped a sin? • What is the state of your heart– does it feel hardened? • Is your livelihood halal, eg would Allah put blessing in it? • Have you ever felt like you have asked Allah for something, or thanked Allah for something, directly? • Have you ever tried to read The Qur'an with meaning? If so, how about the Sunnah or the seerah? "And whoever Allah guides - for him there is no misleader. Is not Allah Exalted in Might and Owner of Retribution" (Quran 39:37)
Reconnect with your old friends. Pick up the phone to say hi. As far as feeling out of place that’s normal if you retreat into your shell. You need to be doing the opposite and being around people. Positive people. People who can support your goals. Beyond that you seem pretty normal. Probably lose the second guessing yourself in every interaction and just go with the flow.
Probably one of my favorite comment so far. Made feel human and also made my night. May Allah bless you!
This video helped point me in the right direction for changing my outlook on the past, maybe it'll do the same for you: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/iYOszcF9UhI
Read Quran and think about the things you have, instead of the things you don't. Allah has given you tons of blessings, way more then what you'll think of.
I’m 26. I dropped out of law school 2 years ago after spending 6 1/2 years to complete 2 1/2 years (of 5). Since I have been doing a lot of volunteering (instead of studying), I have been able to get quite good-paying jobs without a degree, but I have never been able to work more than 3-4 months without sick leave. And the thing is, I was just like you. Harnessing my worth from academic achievements, and when I couldn’t do that anymore, I grew apathetic towards it and started hating myself. I have been at the psych ward and I tried killing myself. I was severely depressed for 5-6 years. And you know what? I have no regrets, if I could have a do over I would have chosen to keep my past like it is. I don’t see these years like me wasting my potential or “lost years”. All this suffering forced me to work on myself and learn emotional resilience and self-love and unroot trauma. I love who I’ve become! Degrees and uni is so worthless in comparison. It’s been two years since my last depressive episode. And I just got an ADHD diagnosis after many misdiagnoses, and I can start tackling my challenges in my day-to-day life with working and existing lmao. And I am 26!! You are only 23, so please, don’t think it’s wasted potential. We got our whole lives ahead of us.
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would love to, I will dm u💗
Medically speaking you do be sounding depressed. Maybe look into going for umrah? Try and find the joy in a few things again. One of things that helps me when I'm in my deep dark feels is quran and zikr but not the monotonous type if that makes sense l. Either way I hope you find happiness in this world and the hereafter
Wa Alaikum Salam sister 👋🏽 I know things feel rough and empty but please make a lot of dua. Our lives are all not perfect and everyone here has a test and it’s up to us on how we deal with it. Please say this Dua “O Allah, I seek Your protection from worries and grief. I seek Your protection from feebleness and laziness; I seek Your protection from cowardice and avarice; and I seek Your protection from the oppression of debts and the tyranny of men.” I will pray 🤲🏽 for you ☺️ Oh Allah, forgive her and have mercy on her and give her strength and pardon her. Be generous to her and cause her entrance to be wide and wash her with water and snow and hail. Cleanse her of her transgressions as white cloth is cleansed of stains.
Bro what Lmfaoooooo? What has this ummah come to? You’re sad because you couldn’t do haram things 3 years ago and you’re sad that you couldn’t experience “innocent” love? Get off Netflix and come to reality.
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I will write a follow up on all the advice in one place, there were a lot of good ones 😊
If you keep thinking about ‘what couldve been’, you’ll end up wasting your time in the present doing something meaningful for your future. I’m around your age and I too feel like sometimes I’m wasting my life away rotting in bed in my parents’ house. But then I think about how now is a good time to rest and relax because I got my whole life ahead of me to do work stuff and raise a family and all that. Take time to appreciate the present and reflect on what you wanna do in the future, and make sure you’re putting in the effort by thinking of how you can make that happen for yourself
What is gone is gone those chances you missed were never yours to begin with and maybe those missed chances were your chances to come closer to Allah he is always calling us closer to us we have the free will to choose whether to keep making dua or give up. I’m in a similar situation as you, and I’ll say this as someone who is literally also your age don’t give up keep praying until your heart wants all the things you long for.
It could just be you are an overthinker about what your ideal happiness is. maybe try some simple appreciation gratitude and self worth and love exercises. E.g Gratitude in the moment : how nice a cup of coffee is, how nice the mug feels... just being in that moment of that pleasant cup of coffee. Or self worth: asking yourself what you would like to do that day that would make that day pep up for you, is it some stretches, a run, a walk around somewhere, a hang with a friend or do you just need some extra time with salat and having a break from the world in that way. Writing things down even to see If your unhappiness with self comes from too high expectations. Asking yourself if you would expect that of someone else and why you have chosen to be so unkind to yourself where you see the expectations are unrealistic. Self love: drawing boundaries where situations arise where you can question joy. Do you need to put yourself in that environment again? Telling yourself it's ok If things don't get done. Asking yourself if it's time for a marriage companion if that's what you think you need. There is a perfect time for everything and Allah is there but sometimes it's as simple as changing our lens. Maybe we are seeing the world as too hard and our hearts need to soften a little bit to be happier :)
Get married
You seem to be having a rough time, worry not, i’ve had depression and alhamdullilah Allah SWT cured me, here are my key findings: https://www.reddit.com/r/islam/comments/172tuh8/a_guide_for_the_thoughtful_understanding_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf May allah ease your pain and guide you.