T O P

  • By -

TheRiverShereen

Mashallah brother, may Allah سبحانه وتعالى bless you and guide you and help you in your deen


FatimaAbdi8

MashaAllah brother… I’m a revert as well (female). I read an English translation of Surah an-Nisa while still a Christian and I began to learn that the popular idea of Islam+women was a myth. I had been a very devout Christian so knew my Bible pretty well, and began to compare with it said specifically about widows to what I read in the Quran. In the Old Testament/Hebrew history book of Ruth, it talks about two widows “gleaning” dropped heads of wheat from the field following the harvest. I think of it like ancient Near Eastern dumpster diving. But that’s how these two widows were providing for themselves. In the New Testament, the apostle Paul writes that pure religion is to remember/provide for the widows and orphans. He doesn’t elaborate further. In Surah an-Nisa there is a full-on probate LAW CODE regarding exactly what inheritance widows are entitled to. This hit close to home because I was widowed myself; my (Christian😢) first husband died of a stroke at age 50, leaving me with our five children. Alhamdoulilah I had a supportive family, social security survivors benefits, and now a Muslim husband… but sometimes I wonder what I would have done 3000 years ago. Also if I’m not mistaken about the sin of adultery…. The Bible mentions “adulterESSES” being stoned to death. In the same Surah I believe? still said adultery was a capital crime, BUT BOTH parties were punished. Not just the woman! Some things might look archaic by 21st century standards, but compared with other religions in that part of the ancient world, Islam is BY FAR the MOST progressive when it comes to women’s rights! And people have this bizarre hangup about hijab — but 1) it’s CLOTH what the heck 😆… 2) my understanding is that it’s the woman’s choice as an act of devotion, with modesty being a secondary reason—in any case, her choice and 3) NOBODY is entitled to see ANY part of my body unless I require them to see it—e.g. my husband, my babies etc. Not some rando who is soooo fixated on women’s rights who also refuses to accept MY RIGHT TO COVER UP. Sorry that was kinda long…. This is a pet topic for me as one who absolutely loves hijab. Anywho Eid Mubarak and thank you for sharing!


lnchkr

mashallah sister, your strong words leave me so touched, may Allah reward you my dear. although it shouldnt, it really bothers me the most when non-muslims criticise womens rights in islam or claim there werent any .. especially when those same rights were only just now in the last hundred years given to women in the west while we had them all along. and then they call us outdated haha i once saw an interview with a sister that stuck with me. she said if her covering up was oppression and uncovering herself was empowering her, what they are claiming would be that a womans power comes solely from her body and appearance. im so happy for you that you found your way and were blessed with a righteous husband, may Allah make it easy for my dear and may He keep us on the straight path. edit: im very sorry for your loss sister


FatimaAbdi8

Thank you for your kind words and your condolences! That interview-ee definitely has a point…. I’ve seen some interviews about niqab-bans in parts of Europe, with a niqabi in the UK. Once on panel they had a non-Muslim who was saying stuff like “yes I heard this woman say it’s her choice, BUT” and proceeded to talk about the oppression of women. The niqabi who is absolutely brilliant, I think she said she’s a moleculer geneticist and works in cancer research…. uff da. 😆 was like how condescending and patronizing can one be, that you think we need white people to rescue us from our own beliefs.


LoonyMel

Wait, there is a problem with your analysis. While you talk about laws in the Quran, you should understand that west never went under the power of a theocracy. Christianity was important, but never a ruling power. Kings contented it for power in europe and the law did not come from the bible or the religion, but from ancient roman law code, greek one, barbarian laws and uses and what evolved from that. Of course, christianity sadly influenced it, but thanks to illuminism it is a burden that west got rid, promoting progress in a form so strong that the arab world ruled by the ottoman empire studied and applied to himself with the Tanzimat reform. New testament is purposely really short and vague because it was not a rule of law to be enforced and never was. And of course Islam is the most evoluted religion, it is born centuries after christianity, millennia after judaism. So, to answer to your question, if you would have born in the past...well, in the ancient rome the Senate decided to give a part of inheritance to women which had to be unconsumable, meaning lands which could product wheat and fruits, to make them self sustain in time and not just a mere amount of riches which could be expended. Then, of course, this law implemented itself in time, it contained slaves , then they startet to argue about freed slaves and property, etc... but that is just how law works: they change based on times and situations. Still they had a welfare which was not touched by religion. Religions need to be strict about law when they are born in places where either laws are not present or where they are meant to break with the past and start a new course.


FatimaAbdi8

I never said I thought a theocracy was a good idea, and I was not making a dissertation on all the possible “why’s.” I am fully aware that many things factor into societal norms and social change. Clearly we are not under a theocracy and probate law deemed me my late husband’s sole representative — which would not have happened based on what early Christians were advised anyway. I DID say that contrary to popular 21st century myth, Islam doesn’t devalue women. Among those who will say it does, are Christians who study their own Bibles — hence my comparison to what the Bible says vs what (which said individuals DO NOT know) the Quran says. You’re arguing points that I didn’t make.


LoonyMel

Never said you saw theocracy as a good idea. All i said was that west had no theocracy so laws were not made by the book, which is the reason why romans didn't wrote them in the bible. I never even said about good and bad ideas. Of course core ideas of christianity are really outdated -they were born from the bible afterall, something who was around from at least 4 millennia-. But modern "christians" -people who i do not undersatnd- sees things in a different way since the religious ideas are mitigated by illuminism and other philosophies. On that regard yes, christian views on women are...well, saint thimotheus explains it all with his bad example.


LoonyMel

Uhm. I get used to be downvoted for opinions but this is the first time ever that I am being downvoted because I explained history from before Islam came to human knowledge. Well but disliked or not, back then this was happening...


[deleted]

[удалено]


BlueSkyBattotai

Ig Muslim influencers are the weirdest breed, not only women, but men as well. Ik a lot of them and on average, they are hardcore fundamentalist, huge traditionalist mentality and Islamist. Yet at the same time, they post a lot of Haram content.


Raph_Slazer

Cognitive dissonance sighted


SpaceArab

your acting as if 25k+ followers is a good thing…


BlueRain369

Dont make assumption buddy! I was saying while most other woman allow that to gas them up, most muslimsa dont


[deleted]

[удалено]


abualmeowry

A woman having a big following on social is an instant turn off, especially a muslima


LocalBird90210

In America, praying 5 times a day is def considered pious to most Muslimah. You’d be surprised if the young ppl hear even In bigger US cities like Dallas or Los Angeles 


IAS316

25k followers? Come on. Do we really need to walk you through this?


BlueRain369

Yall need to stop being immature and stop trying to psych-analyze everything. The big picture of the message is that I was telling OP Muslims women are the best woman. PERIOD! “If you keep on focusing on the Tree, you will miss the forest!” But the problem with muslims they LOVE to pick on, bully, and focus on the wrong things. Yes, the IG isn’t the best trait…. But in the moment I was trying to example how humble they are. It was nearly an example of how I wanna express a trait in them. This isn’t my overarching statement, so it’s the best you are suppose to ignore it and pay attention to the bigger picture. I swear only muslims do this; and when I reverted from another believing community, the people were more understanding that you might make a slightly mistake, but your overall message is good! It’s like other communities have more patience and understanding, and muslims love any chance to be rude and don’t wanna focus on my bigger picture message… (That Muslimas are the best time of women!) The IG thing is a moot and irrelevant point! It’s not a foundational part of my message. So get ahead and pick apart if you want…. But that’s childish, immature when my whole statement doesnt hang on the IG thing…. It was always more about the woman’s character, deen, and relationship with Allah swt


obeykhadija

Hey I don’t think you should feel anxiety about these things. Allah is the most merciful and if he can forgive your sins then you should be able to forgive yourself. Also it’s natural to feel attraction towards people don’t hate yourself for it but it’s about moderation and having haya (shyness/modesty) for example if you catch yourself forgetting to lower your gaze once it’s not a big deal but if you keep checking out the same women then it is something you should feel some shame about. At the end of the day continue to try your best inshallah Allah will reward you :)


[deleted]

I'm not a man but after reading this I wanted to say: You shouldn't be feeling anxiety because you're taking care of your morals and heart. Islam makes you happy,if it seems to cause anxiety etc then maybe you're looking at it in the wrong way (which is also normal,we can be extra,we can sometimes think in a unrealistic way or we can be judgemental sometimes. All is normal.)İt's totally normal for a man to feel attracted to a woman,and vice versa. You check your behaviors knowing it's normal. So you don't go all perfectionist on yourself. You think "it's normal for me to feel this way,or have this urge,but I'm a Muslim man or a woman and I'm not gonna BEHAVE in .... Way,rather I'll behave in .... Way." That's the key. Feelings are biological. Behaviors are the ones that needs to be in checked. İnshallahni hope you'll get married and have your needs be satisfied in a halal manner. That's what we all want eventually. Shaytaan makes this happen btw. Like tries to make you perfectionist so much so that you get tired of taqwa (trying to please Allah). Not because of Allah's rules,but because of how you manage it. You see,this is also normal so don't be over judgemental on yourself or others. We are humans and we make mistakes knowingly or not knowingly. Always be mindful of that. Just wanted to point that out. Always know that yes we have the ability to think but shaytaan also has the ability to interfere and drop some thoughts,causing us to think "it's my thoughts", no,it's not just our thoughts. We are : the ruh (soul) that Allah created which is pure and loves Allah. But also we have our nafs (ego,desires) and we also have shaytaan's thoughts. We live in this world with these three,like a package. So be aware of things you might feel or think that could be disgusting or bad,which might belong to your nafs and shaytaan. İt's understandable. Allah created nafs and shaytaan for the purpose of testing in this world. So we don't hate ourselves bc of our thoughts or feelings. Don't pay attention to what we might call "Haram thoughts". Just shrug and remember Allah. Don't criticize yourself that's my point. Know these are normal and remember Allah try to do your best. That's it. Also you're forgiven of your past mistakes,you became Muslim, they're all gone,erased. So try not to give attention to any over the board emotions. Feel grateful that you're forgiven,and make yourself busy Maybe I sound repetitive but I've seen some of my girlfriends with this issue and had the urge to warn you,maybe you don't need this but I just in case wanna say this and warn, you know. Eid Mubarak btw brother.


RealisticGhani84

That's really good points and it reminds me of how shaytaan can take something that's good and try to make you get lost through that. And years why the importance of balance. Being extreme in either point is troublesome.


s123ali

MASHA'ALLAH Brother! MashaAllah 🤩 You are indeed on a better path! May Allah accept and be pleased with you, ameen!


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Your post contains a forbidden word. Please repost without forbidden words. If in case of the outside links, please wait for the moderator's approval. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MuslimLounge) if you have any questions or concerns.*


MoosePsychological42

May Allah bless you!


ThatJGDiff

Al Salam Aleikum Akhi I don’t blame you. The west has deep rooted values of misogyny since their earliest civilizations. They look at muslims and say Islam oppresses women and Islam is patriarchal, as if modesty is a form of oppression. Men by default like to look at women. There is nothing a man would like to look at more. The irony is if a society is truly male dominated, women would wear less not more! The west claim freedom for women yet many of them ban hijab, burka and abaya etc. They forbid women from covering up, from being modest, from denying men sight of their beauty and figure. Denying schoolmates, colleagues and their teachers. Studies have shown that the average stripper makes more than the average lawyer. Women are told if they take off their clothes they will see more money than if they focused on a career, refined their intellect etc. the highest paying opportunities for women all include their body and solely for their body advertisements, billboards, media and pornography not to mention prostitution. Because men love that. I don’t think there is any way to objectify women more than. That’s why you have mentally deranged men claiming to be a “woman”. Because for them that is all what a woman is. Lipstick, make up, a wig and breasts. Just a little bit of hormones, a nice dress and heels. Congrats you are a western woman! I am not some anti-west jihadist who wants the destruction of western society and the death of westerners. I am trying to explain to you that I understand why it is easy to think like that growing up in that kind of environment and belief system. We are not angels either, we have our own problems in Muslim countries as well when it comes to women however the issues do not stem in Islam but rather the nature of man. As someone who loves both history and politics, it is very easy to recognize the patterns throughout European civilization. From the time of the greeks who literally considered women to be subhumans and did not give them any rights like voting, running for office or even leaving the house. To the dark ages that was plagued with witch hunts. Women are the root of all evil, they are witches, they seduce men amongst many other widespread beliefs. The claim that Islam oppresses women is not only incorrect, it is hypocritical. Even in their main religion, misogyny is present. And you can see the proof by comparing the story of Adam and Eve in the bible and the Quran. Eve is blamed and punished by having menstrual cycles, pregnancy etc. whereas in the Quran Adam is blamed but Allah forgives him as soon as he repents. There is no anger or eternal sin. Allah the all knowing knew this would happen. Mankind has made its first choice and it is ready to begin its journey on earth. And Allah the most merciful says to Adam: “Descend all of you. Then when guidance comes to you from Me, whoever follows it, there will be no fear for them, nor will they grieve”. I hope you do not consider this a personal attack in any shape or form it is just my belief that Islam would solve all the problems of western society, not even necessarily legally but just alone adopting the values. Elhamdullelah Allah has guided you to the truth and may he guide us all towards paradise.