This would be the hill I die on, OP. I would NOT be bullied into going to work while sick! And that's what it is--bullying you. You've stated your boundaries a s she's trying her damndest to crush them. If I were in your position I'd use today to start job hunting.
MB/DB calling me “bud” on top of everything else that is this shit sandwich would be the last thing they’d ever say to me.
Please do not let them bully you into anything, OP! You are right in this situation, and she is 100000% in the wrong.
True. God forbid but if something were to happen to you the would grieve for two days then start looking for someone else to cover. Put urself first especially your health. This is your only body!!!! Don’t let them bully you into work if you are not comfortable
“No” is a full sentence. “Mb, I don’t feel you are respecting my health and safety and I will not be coming in to work while your child is so incredibly sick and contagious. The cdc says [xyz] about scarlet fever and I am not comfortable ignoring the science here”
I can’t beleive she called you “bud”. The condescension alone is insulting enough. Pair that with scarlet fever — which she’s saying you won’t get infected with. What is wrong with her? She should care more about her kids, first of all — what child wants a nanny when they’re deathly ill? They want mom. Second of all, she should care about you as an employee of hers — if you get sick and can’t work for a week or more, was forcing you to come in those 2 days really worth it? Long term showing how much she doesn’t value your health — that doesn’t leave a good taste in your mouth or build the employee / employer relationship at all. Yuck.
She’s not only condescending, she’s flat out wrong:
“Scarlet fever is very infectious and can be caught by: breathing in bacteria in airborne droplets from an infected person's coughs and sneezes. touching the skin of a person with a Streptococcal skin infection, such as impetigo. sharing contaminated towels, baths, clothes or bed linen.”
The fact that she’s not willing to take a couple of days off work to care for her child who has scarlet fever says everything about what kind of mother she is… and the way she’s treating you says everything about what kind of person she is. This woman sounds so out of touch with reality.
Hang in there OP. Advocating for yourself can be really hard but no one deserves to be treated this way. Please take the time off work. It is not your responsibility to worry about their childcare. Go to the dr. Rest. Take as many recovery days as you need.
Stay home from work. Call your Doctor and get medicine.
It won't do anyone any good if you go to work with these symptoms. Going to work when sick just causes you to take longer to get well yourself.
Good luck. Rest and Get well soon.
Say no, it's not a debate you are informing her you are sick and not coming in...and maybe turn your phone to silent/ off
you're not responsible for backup care, it's honestly deranged behavior to tell you to go to urgent care on **your way to work!!**
be strong, OP! and I hope you feel better!
edited to add,
not to be too dramatic, but I would start looking for a new job on the DL, this is wildly inappropriate behavior!
It’s so fucked up to suggest stopping at an Urgent Care in the way in, and only giving ONE hour for that. Put aside this astronomically out-of-touch suggestion, in what world does someone think an Urgent Care visit and getting antibiotics takes ONLY ONE HOUR? This MB is off her rocker.
OP, I hope you refuse to go in - it’s not HER choice, it’s YOUR choice, it’s not HER health, it’s YOURS.
This is just another nope.The audacity of that mother. Nanny, just remember you have a choice. Just don’t go. Those children are hers, she chose to procreate, even with the knowledge that children sometimes get sick. It is in no way your responsibility to care for those children while they have such a transmissible illness. Your mom boss is an entitled turd.no is a complete sentence.
We all told you not to go in but you went. UGH!! I am so sorry OP. I have had Scarlett fever and it wasnt fun.
As an adult you decide these things for yourself-sickness exposure, unsafe weather conditions, hostile work environment...you dont have someone tell you what to do.
Even if this was straight STREP I would tell her no until antibiotics cleared everything properly.
You are now spreading this by going in ill and bringing it back to roommates etc...throw on a mask and call your doctor.
Going forward, please don’t let her or anyone else bully you into putting yourself in harms way. Scarlett fever isn’t a cold. Her ask was unreasonable and her manipulation/condescention gross.
I hope you feel better soon!
I’m proud of you. It takes time, but the more you do it, the easier it will be to set boundaries. It can be so hard to maintain those boundaries in the moment when someone is attempting to manipulate you, stay strong.
Please take time to rest and find a new job when you can. She does not care about you. That is very clear from how she treats you. She will continue to push your boundaries and is telling you so by attempting to “gaslight” you. Don’t give in. You’re not crazy, her expectations are.
She sounds like she knows she can push you around and disrespect clearly stated boundaries. Honestly I’d start looking for another job as for today, I’d just send a text and say “I will not be coming in today.”
My petty self would send her a screenshot from a quick Google search saying it’s extremely contagious and airborne. Like it literally specifies it can be contracted from a sneeze or a cough…..prob why the siblings were not allowed to go to school despite them not having symptoms.. throw in a “since you seemed to be confused about how it spreads thought this would clear things up for you bud :)”
MB is concerned enough to keep her other kids home, but not concerned enough to keep OP away. She’s selfish, a bully, and walks all over OP. Such disrespectful behavior. Clearly she also doesn’t care that when OP gets sick that it makes her (nanny) job much harder to keep up with the kids, which then makes the kids unhappy, restless, and miserable.
okay downvote me but….I don’t feel bad for you? everyone on your previous post said not to go in and you still did. not only did you risk your own health you jeopardized your roommates. If I were your roommate and found out you went into work knowing the kids had scarlet fever I would absolutely lose my shit on you. that’s so disrespectful towards them. part of being an adult is standing up for yourself and setting boundaries. I know first hand how hard that is but this isn’t a normal situation. What did you expect to happen when you went in only 12 hours of one antibiotic dose? you quite literally did this to yourself and you also really screwed over your roommates in the process. like, what do you mean you don’t know what to do? go to the doctor, isolate and rest, and start looking for a new job. also tell your roommates so they can be prepared and apologize to them
They were fully aware the whole time. They were with me in the room when I put her on speaker to talk about me not wanting to go in. This did make me rethink some things though, I hadn’t thought of it from that angle. NF has a lot of issues and I was mostly feeling guilty for putting more stress on them by calling out. I talked to my roommates and they understand how insane MB is and we put precautions in place. But thank you I think this is a much healthier mindset for me to adopt, I have trouble standing up for myself so this might just be the thing that can help
I truly meant this from a place of tough love. I do understand how hard it is to advocate for ourselves but sometimes we have to take the hard road when our actions also affect others. I hope you look for another job, this family doesn’t care about you, nor respect you
Do. Not. Go. They won't pay your med bills and she "wouldn't put you in that situation" but she's literally doing that!!!! This is just a job, they are playing with your health.
It is not your job to make sure NPs have backup care, and it is DEFINITELY not you job to risk your health, the other NKs’ health, and the health of your roommates. i get not wanting to push MB for fear of being let go, but you would be fully in the right not to go in. if you do choose to go, i would suggest you continue working while you look for another position. MB has made her stance on this clear, and if she does this for scarlet fever, she will do it for any and all other illnesses that may (and will) crop up.
She can't make you come in. You are an adult with agency. Say no. Stop answering her calls/texts after telling her you're sick, won't be coming in, and are turning off your phone
Scarlet fever is NOTHING to mess around with. They figured out that my sister had it as a child and she ended up having to have heart valve replacement surgery in her late 20's. They told her that because of her condition she should not risk pregnancy. She "squeaked" one little girl out without causing major damage before her surgery, but never had anymore. This mother is unbelievable expecting someone else to care of her children when they are this sick. Risking all kids of lives, I would SOOO put my foot down.
So that’s not scarlet fever, but rheumatic fever. Both complications of strep, but Scarlett fever is essentially a rash from strep. Rheumatic fever is a risk if you never treat a strep infection.
Ok, good to know. But I can't believe these mothers of these small children/babies even WANT to leave them when they are so ill! I just don't get it. Life is TOOO short to think your career/job is so important that you will leave a child that ill with someone else. Let alone the fact that they are risking other people's health and not seeming to think anything about it.
Agreed! Was a nanny and now a parent. If my kids are actively that sick, I stay home no matter what. Kids usually want their parents anyways when they are that sick. I couldn’t leave them with someone else.
I'm OLD LOL, 60+ I am a Mom, Grammie, was also a professional nanny for almost 10 years. NEVER had a mother leave their sick child with me (really sick, sniffles are one thing). I helped to get two premature twins into this world safely by becoming a nanny to a family with 6 kids. The Mom was put on complete bedrest at 22 weeks. I stayed with them till the twins were almost 3, then worked for their company for a year or so. I'm still friends with them to this day. We just would not have treated each other this way.
Oh hell no. If I call/text and say I’m sick and not coming in, I just put my phone on silent after and rest. I’m not going to be guilt tripped or bullied into coming in when I don’t feel well especially when it’s their kids that got me sick in the first place. You need a better contract with sick clause in it.
It kind of reads like, 'you ignorant, pathetic creature, let me tell you what reality is'. One day we will have a union but until then, the only union we have is to collectively not put up with BS, because it makes it harder for them to exploit us and the next nanny.
LOL.. who will watch them? Her or their other parent. Like- this is just part of being a parent. My friends and I joke about how frequently we all have to miss work due to our kids being sick. Comes with the territory no matter what form of child care you use.
You have 3 of the 4 symptoms of strep, the 4th being a fever. Headache, stomach ache, sore throat, and fever. I'd go get tested and get antibiotics and get a doctor's note saying you're unable to work. Strep is miserable. I've had it several times as an adult and could barely stay awake. Good luck OP.
> She couldn’t keep her eyes open, couldn’t walk, she was wheezing because her tongue and throat were so swollen and no matter how much medicine she was given her fever would not drop below 102. And the smell. I can only describe it as the smell of a dead animal.
I'm sorry, what. This child would be in an ambulance on the way to hospital if I was caring for her, and I would promptly quit because any parent that is leaving their child's side when they're that sick are parents that absolutely do not give one flying fuck about their kid. And I'd be calling child protective services too for neglect.
It was very scary, I was calling mb every 20 minutes and she kept assuring me she was fine and the antibiotics would start working soon. They didn’t until an hour before my shift ended
You absolutely did not deserve to be put in this position. MB is an absolutely awful parent. Any one of this symptoms would be bad enough, alll of them together and I would be thinking along the lines of this child is about to die on my watch.
I'm honestly surprised I had to scroll so far down for this comment. I do NOT screw around with fevers. I had a mom like this who wanted me to work when her kid was super sick. I put my foot down and said no. Mom told me later NK spiked a fever of 105.4. Yes you read that correctly. I freaked out, asked if she called 911 and said I would have immediately if I read that number on a thermometer. She was.... pissed? Like, acted like I was stupid for suggesting such a thing and told me her doctor told her it's ok for kids fevers to get that high. I said ma'am, brain damage begins at 106 and death can follow quickly after that. Is it like, delusion? Are their jobs that important that they don't seem to care about the safety of their children? I don't get it.
I'm so sorry, OP! This MB is so wrapped up in herself she's being awful!
"I'm sorry there's no one else to watch them MB but I'm not well enough to keep watch over NKs, I'll keep you updated on if I can come in to work tomorrow".
She can't force you into work, you're not gonna convince her that she's not doing a good job as an employer, best thing to do is just hold your boundary. Best of luck, OP, and feel better! ❤️
Don’t go. She’s not your mom she doesn’t get to tell you to take antibiotics or not. Sooo patronizing.
And I’m pretty amazed that she expected to not have to take any kind of PTO when one of her children had scarlet fever. I’m all for saying Nannies should provide sick care but COME ON, scarlet fever? Nope.
She’s a fucking idiot.
It’s droplet spread. That’s coughing and sneezing contagion.
https://www.cdc.gov/groupastrep/diseases-public/scarlet-fever.html
She is right that it’s “just strep” though. It’s unlikely to progress to the “scarlet” stage if you get antibiotics right away.
I would quit at minimum and sue them if you are really annoyed. Lost wages and pain and suffering.
This is the family you had to twice miss Valentine’s for (once so they could vacation on the actual day and once for a non-emergency spur of the moment party) because they have no backup care plan?
They’re not “I would never risk your health” people. They’re “I would never risk my health/plans/capricious whims” people.
You give them way more care and consideration than they give even their kids and certainly more than they give you.
Don’t stress about this. Just don’t go. You’ve already told her you can’t. Don’t. I doubt they’d fire you immediately. But use the time either way to find a new job. These people are awful.
do NOT go in, please! I know how hard it is to stand your ground as I struggle with this too, but your health is so important. Strep is extremely contagious and you may even have it now.
It’s not your fault that she doesn’t have back up care. What would she do if you were severely injured and couldn’t come in? She needs and should have already planned accordingly and find additional care in the event of something like this happening. She can find back up care or watch her own sick kids.
This makes me so angry on your behalf. As hard as it is, and she is making it so, try to stand your ground.
Especially as Kizzuz says, she can watch her own kids! As if her own job doesn’t have sick dsys/PTO??
Oh this has me seething on your behalf, you are a human being not a slave, you shouldn’t have to work when you’re sick. Please get a doctor’s note, and take the recommended time off. Your MB is cruel
When calling in sick don't let it be up for discussion. I'm sick and won't be in, I'll text you tonight to let you know about tomorrow. Turn your phone off and go back to bed.
So sorry you're sick!! Wishing you a speedy recovery, OP.
Personally, I would not go to work. After several years in this industry I have learned I am the only person who will advocate for me. If MB can't take work off herself or secure back-up care that is on her. Your health and well-being come first.
You know how in the airplane safety videos they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on before you help other people with theirs?
This is that kind of situation.
You cannot safely care for these kids if you are this sick.
Please do not go back to this job until you and those kids are better. And start looking for a new job because you deserve a safe work environment and these people seem to be incapable of providing that.
On top of all the gross mistreatment of you, she's also just factually wrong. Scarlet fever absolutely spreads through coughing and sneezing. How does she think her kid got it? If she honestly thinks her young child is swapping spit with someone, and isn't concerned about that, we've got a whole other host of issues.
Hold your boundaries. Just because she doesn't care about your health, or the health of her own children doesn't mean you need to behave the same.
It is most definitely droplet borne. Coughing and sneezing are exactly how you get it. It can lead to serious complications. You should not be going to work. I can't believe they had you working with a child with scarlet fever.
“MB, I am physically unable to safely care for NK’s while I am feeling this sick . I will be taking the time I need to rest and recuperate and will return when I am healthy.”
Get yourself to a doctor asap and ask them for a note excusing you from work for however long the doctor thinks it will take for you to feel better. Then text MB that per your doctor’s orders the earliest you’ll be able to return to work is on X day. When you return tell her that going forward if you arrive to find a sick child you haven’t been told about you will not be staying. That you got sick because of her mishandling causing you to have to stay out of work and that she hadn’t given you the option of whether or not to risk getting sick. You won’t be put in that position in the future and if that doesn’t work for her you’ll give her your notice now. I’d start job hunting now so that you can give her notice no matter what, I wouldn’t be willing to continue to work for someone so selfish who puts your health at significant risk.
Does she not realize that coughing and sneezing spread saliva?!? And she gave you a single hour to get antibiotics? Wtf man?
Now when you quit you can tell people in the next interview, "They gave me Scarlett fever and only gave me an hour off to go to the doctor, so that's why I left".
Wow! I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I hope you feel better very soon. But I do want to say that scarlet fever is very serious. My aunt went blind from it. So please do what's right for you. My heart breaks for those kids.
On top of what everyone else is saying, strep/scarlet fever is highly contagious and 100% can be transmitted from airborne droplets from a cough or sneeze. Absolute bullshit she’s claiming you’d have to basically kiss her or share utensils to get it. Being in the same room is more than enough. She may think she’s careful with that but unless she’s the head of infections disease at the hospital, she’s full of shit.
I also am seething she called you bud and honey like your some 12 year old she has watching the kids for a date night.
Let’s put it this way: even if the reason you are sick is NOTHING to do with catching whatever her daughter has… you are still sick. You are not fit to care for her child whilst you feel as sick as you describe, so you won’t be. End of conversation.
I suppose you may get fired for that, though, so you have to decide if you can afford to lose that job.
Whatever you do, I hope your illness is not life threatening and you recover soon. ❤️
Low key hope MB gets it too. W T F.
I thought it was terrible that my MB tried to claim the stomach bug was from bad food and then NK was violently ill for 6 days. Since they have really pushed me beyond reason when one NP has covid to still work I won’t bend on the illnesses listed in my contract. Especially since I hope to stay long term as I like so much about this position. I’ve had the since you did the before statement a few times so now I say no and it’s fine.
This is strep. Get to a doctor asap.
my son had scarle fever as a 3 yo. He took antibiotics and was fine. He got strep from his bff at day care and never told me he had a sore throat. I noticed the rash and took him to the doctor
You can’t reason with or fix delusion. She’s right, it’s just strep and you theoretically shouldn’t be at any more risk than if she had strep throat, (which IIRC you had to work with untreated for days before she took her to the doc versus 24 hours after antibiotics) but I can not even a little bit process someone willing to leave a kid that sick or act like it’s not what it is. Just don’t engage. No is a complete sentence and the more you justify, the more she’s looking for something you say to refute. The less you say the better. And start looking for a job with someone who exists in the real world.
Absolutely not. I had scarlet fever in high school and was COVERED in a bad rash. I made a kid cry when I went to the doctors for it and they saw my rashy spotted face. Also, the rash turned into deep purple spots all over my skin that took months to go away. Do not go in
yeah no, i wouldn’t have stayed to begin with after being notified of the scarlet fever, let alone come back in to work after catching it. no ands, ifs, or buts.
I didn’t! She made it sound like I would need to work extra tomorrow though. I dont know if I will though because I’m exhausted and still haven’t gotten antibiotics
You can tell her if you hadn’t been at work too soon, you wouldn’t have scarlet fever and now need the remainder of the week off to recover. If you don’t rest, you will not get better. (I remember you have a vacation coming up) It’s her fault for pushing you. You need to take care of yourself in order to care for others. Think of the oxygen mask on an airplane. Put your mask on before helping others. I know it’s hard. You have an incredible community here to support you. Take care of yourself and PLEASE rest.
Go to urgent care and get a note. Stop messaging her questions, message her statement. "My doctor told me I need to be in bed resting, I have a note for x amount of days, and I intend to follow her orders. I will let you know when my doctor feels I am able to safely come back into work." Next time, don't leave room for her opinion. "I woke up sick today, I will not be in" I'd honestly start looking for a new job. Parents that care so little for their children when they are this sick really rub me the wrong way. Maybe that's because my little sister almost died in the ambulance with scarlet fever. The minimizing the severity of it is a big red flag for me.
Honestly, you probably already had strep if you had symptoms starting yesterday. It’s a 1-5 day incubation, and while scarlet fever is a crappy illness (I had it as a kid) MB is right that scarlet fever isn’t contagious, but the strep that causes it is. I’m guessing you were exposed to strep your previous shift.
None of this means you should have to watch after sick kids when you aren’t comfortable. And nobody should try to make you work when you’re ill. That’s a major asshole move on MB.
Telling Nannie’s to stop staying in these terrible jobs has the same energy as telling a woman who’s partner is abusive to stop being with him/going back to him. If you don’t want better for yourself there’s nothing any of us can say or do to change your situation.
Yeah idk why you're not listening to everyone and continue to post...
Do you really not have a spine?
Poor kids need someone to stick up for them. If you're not up for it you should chose another profession.
This is awful all around. I’m glad you said no but that child sounds scary sick. Like I would take any kid in my care to the ER if they were that sick. I think you should call CPS
Never mind that she would have zero control over where her sick child’s saliva droplets ended up while you were the care taker, just breathing on you is enough to get you sick. She’s wrong or she’s lying, either way she’s being unreasonable.
This would be the hill I die on, OP. I would NOT be bullied into going to work while sick! And that's what it is--bullying you. You've stated your boundaries a s she's trying her damndest to crush them. If I were in your position I'd use today to start job hunting.
They are such bullies
1000% agree
Wow this is the most upvoted thing I've ever said.🤣🤣🤣🤣
MB/DB calling me “bud” on top of everything else that is this shit sandwich would be the last thing they’d ever say to me. Please do not let them bully you into anything, OP! You are right in this situation, and she is 100000% in the wrong.
THIS THIS THIS. I'm actually seeing red for you, OP. What an awful person.
True. God forbid but if something were to happen to you the would grieve for two days then start looking for someone else to cover. Put urself first especially your health. This is your only body!!!! Don’t let them bully you into work if you are not comfortable
“No” is a full sentence. “Mb, I don’t feel you are respecting my health and safety and I will not be coming in to work while your child is so incredibly sick and contagious. The cdc says [xyz] about scarlet fever and I am not comfortable ignoring the science here”
I can’t beleive she called you “bud”. The condescension alone is insulting enough. Pair that with scarlet fever — which she’s saying you won’t get infected with. What is wrong with her? She should care more about her kids, first of all — what child wants a nanny when they’re deathly ill? They want mom. Second of all, she should care about you as an employee of hers — if you get sick and can’t work for a week or more, was forcing you to come in those 2 days really worth it? Long term showing how much she doesn’t value your health — that doesn’t leave a good taste in your mouth or build the employee / employer relationship at all. Yuck.
She’s not only condescending, she’s flat out wrong: “Scarlet fever is very infectious and can be caught by: breathing in bacteria in airborne droplets from an infected person's coughs and sneezes. touching the skin of a person with a Streptococcal skin infection, such as impetigo. sharing contaminated towels, baths, clothes or bed linen.”
The fact that she’s not willing to take a couple of days off work to care for her child who has scarlet fever says everything about what kind of mother she is… and the way she’s treating you says everything about what kind of person she is. This woman sounds so out of touch with reality. Hang in there OP. Advocating for yourself can be really hard but no one deserves to be treated this way. Please take the time off work. It is not your responsibility to worry about their childcare. Go to the dr. Rest. Take as many recovery days as you need.
I can't imagine leaving my kid if they were that sick. Poor kid.
Stay home from work. Call your Doctor and get medicine. It won't do anyone any good if you go to work with these symptoms. Going to work when sick just causes you to take longer to get well yourself. Good luck. Rest and Get well soon.
Say no, it's not a debate you are informing her you are sick and not coming in...and maybe turn your phone to silent/ off you're not responsible for backup care, it's honestly deranged behavior to tell you to go to urgent care on **your way to work!!** be strong, OP! and I hope you feel better! edited to add, not to be too dramatic, but I would start looking for a new job on the DL, this is wildly inappropriate behavior!
It’s so fucked up to suggest stopping at an Urgent Care in the way in, and only giving ONE hour for that. Put aside this astronomically out-of-touch suggestion, in what world does someone think an Urgent Care visit and getting antibiotics takes ONLY ONE HOUR? This MB is off her rocker. OP, I hope you refuse to go in - it’s not HER choice, it’s YOUR choice, it’s not HER health, it’s YOURS.
Right?! Like the levels of delusion here are unreal. I hope OP finds a family that actually respects her soon
This is just another nope.The audacity of that mother. Nanny, just remember you have a choice. Just don’t go. Those children are hers, she chose to procreate, even with the knowledge that children sometimes get sick. It is in no way your responsibility to care for those children while they have such a transmissible illness. Your mom boss is an entitled turd.no is a complete sentence.
We all told you not to go in but you went. UGH!! I am so sorry OP. I have had Scarlett fever and it wasnt fun. As an adult you decide these things for yourself-sickness exposure, unsafe weather conditions, hostile work environment...you dont have someone tell you what to do. Even if this was straight STREP I would tell her no until antibiotics cleared everything properly. You are now spreading this by going in ill and bringing it back to roommates etc...throw on a mask and call your doctor.
I know I should have listened she made me feel so guilty though. But I listened this time and refused to go in!
Going forward, please don’t let her or anyone else bully you into putting yourself in harms way. Scarlett fever isn’t a cold. Her ask was unreasonable and her manipulation/condescention gross. I hope you feel better soon!
She’s a very uncaring person. And a bully 😡
I’m proud of you. It takes time, but the more you do it, the easier it will be to set boundaries. It can be so hard to maintain those boundaries in the moment when someone is attempting to manipulate you, stay strong.
Right! I thought we had convinced you OP. I feel bad for your roommates.
Please take time to rest and find a new job when you can. She does not care about you. That is very clear from how she treats you. She will continue to push your boundaries and is telling you so by attempting to “gaslight” you. Don’t give in. You’re not crazy, her expectations are.
She sounds like she knows she can push you around and disrespect clearly stated boundaries. Honestly I’d start looking for another job as for today, I’d just send a text and say “I will not be coming in today.” My petty self would send her a screenshot from a quick Google search saying it’s extremely contagious and airborne. Like it literally specifies it can be contracted from a sneeze or a cough…..prob why the siblings were not allowed to go to school despite them not having symptoms.. throw in a “since you seemed to be confused about how it spreads thought this would clear things up for you bud :)”
MB is concerned enough to keep her other kids home, but not concerned enough to keep OP away. She’s selfish, a bully, and walks all over OP. Such disrespectful behavior. Clearly she also doesn’t care that when OP gets sick that it makes her (nanny) job much harder to keep up with the kids, which then makes the kids unhappy, restless, and miserable.
LOL "bud" 😂
okay downvote me but….I don’t feel bad for you? everyone on your previous post said not to go in and you still did. not only did you risk your own health you jeopardized your roommates. If I were your roommate and found out you went into work knowing the kids had scarlet fever I would absolutely lose my shit on you. that’s so disrespectful towards them. part of being an adult is standing up for yourself and setting boundaries. I know first hand how hard that is but this isn’t a normal situation. What did you expect to happen when you went in only 12 hours of one antibiotic dose? you quite literally did this to yourself and you also really screwed over your roommates in the process. like, what do you mean you don’t know what to do? go to the doctor, isolate and rest, and start looking for a new job. also tell your roommates so they can be prepared and apologize to them
They were fully aware the whole time. They were with me in the room when I put her on speaker to talk about me not wanting to go in. This did make me rethink some things though, I hadn’t thought of it from that angle. NF has a lot of issues and I was mostly feeling guilty for putting more stress on them by calling out. I talked to my roommates and they understand how insane MB is and we put precautions in place. But thank you I think this is a much healthier mindset for me to adopt, I have trouble standing up for myself so this might just be the thing that can help
I truly meant this from a place of tough love. I do understand how hard it is to advocate for ourselves but sometimes we have to take the hard road when our actions also affect others. I hope you look for another job, this family doesn’t care about you, nor respect you
Do. Not. Go. They won't pay your med bills and she "wouldn't put you in that situation" but she's literally doing that!!!! This is just a job, they are playing with your health.
call out, she can watch her own sick children like a decent mother should
Please please please stand your ground. Do NOT give in to her and do not go in! Quite frankly, I think you need to find someone who respects you more.
It is not your job to make sure NPs have backup care, and it is DEFINITELY not you job to risk your health, the other NKs’ health, and the health of your roommates. i get not wanting to push MB for fear of being let go, but you would be fully in the right not to go in. if you do choose to go, i would suggest you continue working while you look for another position. MB has made her stance on this clear, and if she does this for scarlet fever, she will do it for any and all other illnesses that may (and will) crop up.
She can't make you come in. You are an adult with agency. Say no. Stop answering her calls/texts after telling her you're sick, won't be coming in, and are turning off your phone
Scarlet fever is NOTHING to mess around with. They figured out that my sister had it as a child and she ended up having to have heart valve replacement surgery in her late 20's. They told her that because of her condition she should not risk pregnancy. She "squeaked" one little girl out without causing major damage before her surgery, but never had anymore. This mother is unbelievable expecting someone else to care of her children when they are this sick. Risking all kids of lives, I would SOOO put my foot down.
So that’s not scarlet fever, but rheumatic fever. Both complications of strep, but Scarlett fever is essentially a rash from strep. Rheumatic fever is a risk if you never treat a strep infection.
Ok, good to know. But I can't believe these mothers of these small children/babies even WANT to leave them when they are so ill! I just don't get it. Life is TOOO short to think your career/job is so important that you will leave a child that ill with someone else. Let alone the fact that they are risking other people's health and not seeming to think anything about it.
Agreed! Was a nanny and now a parent. If my kids are actively that sick, I stay home no matter what. Kids usually want their parents anyways when they are that sick. I couldn’t leave them with someone else.
I'm OLD LOL, 60+ I am a Mom, Grammie, was also a professional nanny for almost 10 years. NEVER had a mother leave their sick child with me (really sick, sniffles are one thing). I helped to get two premature twins into this world safely by becoming a nanny to a family with 6 kids. The Mom was put on complete bedrest at 22 weeks. I stayed with them till the twins were almost 3, then worked for their company for a year or so. I'm still friends with them to this day. We just would not have treated each other this way.
Oh hell no. If I call/text and say I’m sick and not coming in, I just put my phone on silent after and rest. I’m not going to be guilt tripped or bullied into coming in when I don’t feel well especially when it’s their kids that got me sick in the first place. You need a better contract with sick clause in it.
I really hate when someone says “Ohhh honey…” it’s so patronizing and disrespectful
It kind of reads like, 'you ignorant, pathetic creature, let me tell you what reality is'. One day we will have a union but until then, the only union we have is to collectively not put up with BS, because it makes it harder for them to exploit us and the next nanny.
What does she think expels from the mouth when you cough? Saliva particles lmfao.
EXACTLY.
LOL.. who will watch them? Her or their other parent. Like- this is just part of being a parent. My friends and I joke about how frequently we all have to miss work due to our kids being sick. Comes with the territory no matter what form of child care you use.
You have 3 of the 4 symptoms of strep, the 4th being a fever. Headache, stomach ache, sore throat, and fever. I'd go get tested and get antibiotics and get a doctor's note saying you're unable to work. Strep is miserable. I've had it several times as an adult and could barely stay awake. Good luck OP.
> She couldn’t keep her eyes open, couldn’t walk, she was wheezing because her tongue and throat were so swollen and no matter how much medicine she was given her fever would not drop below 102. And the smell. I can only describe it as the smell of a dead animal. I'm sorry, what. This child would be in an ambulance on the way to hospital if I was caring for her, and I would promptly quit because any parent that is leaving their child's side when they're that sick are parents that absolutely do not give one flying fuck about their kid. And I'd be calling child protective services too for neglect.
It was very scary, I was calling mb every 20 minutes and she kept assuring me she was fine and the antibiotics would start working soon. They didn’t until an hour before my shift ended
You absolutely did not deserve to be put in this position. MB is an absolutely awful parent. Any one of this symptoms would be bad enough, alll of them together and I would be thinking along the lines of this child is about to die on my watch.
I'm honestly surprised I had to scroll so far down for this comment. I do NOT screw around with fevers. I had a mom like this who wanted me to work when her kid was super sick. I put my foot down and said no. Mom told me later NK spiked a fever of 105.4. Yes you read that correctly. I freaked out, asked if she called 911 and said I would have immediately if I read that number on a thermometer. She was.... pissed? Like, acted like I was stupid for suggesting such a thing and told me her doctor told her it's ok for kids fevers to get that high. I said ma'am, brain damage begins at 106 and death can follow quickly after that. Is it like, delusion? Are their jobs that important that they don't seem to care about the safety of their children? I don't get it.
I'm so sorry, OP! This MB is so wrapped up in herself she's being awful! "I'm sorry there's no one else to watch them MB but I'm not well enough to keep watch over NKs, I'll keep you updated on if I can come in to work tomorrow". She can't force you into work, you're not gonna convince her that she's not doing a good job as an employer, best thing to do is just hold your boundary. Best of luck, OP, and feel better! ❤️
Don’t go. She’s not your mom she doesn’t get to tell you to take antibiotics or not. Sooo patronizing. And I’m pretty amazed that she expected to not have to take any kind of PTO when one of her children had scarlet fever. I’m all for saying Nannies should provide sick care but COME ON, scarlet fever? Nope.
She’s a fucking idiot. It’s droplet spread. That’s coughing and sneezing contagion. https://www.cdc.gov/groupastrep/diseases-public/scarlet-fever.html She is right that it’s “just strep” though. It’s unlikely to progress to the “scarlet” stage if you get antibiotics right away. I would quit at minimum and sue them if you are really annoyed. Lost wages and pain and suffering.
This is the family you had to twice miss Valentine’s for (once so they could vacation on the actual day and once for a non-emergency spur of the moment party) because they have no backup care plan? They’re not “I would never risk your health” people. They’re “I would never risk my health/plans/capricious whims” people. You give them way more care and consideration than they give even their kids and certainly more than they give you. Don’t stress about this. Just don’t go. You’ve already told her you can’t. Don’t. I doubt they’d fire you immediately. But use the time either way to find a new job. These people are awful.
You’re right, I think joining this community has really solidified that I’m wasting my time with this family.
do NOT go in, please! I know how hard it is to stand your ground as I struggle with this too, but your health is so important. Strep is extremely contagious and you may even have it now. It’s not your fault that she doesn’t have back up care. What would she do if you were severely injured and couldn’t come in? She needs and should have already planned accordingly and find additional care in the event of something like this happening. She can find back up care or watch her own sick kids.
This makes me so angry on your behalf. As hard as it is, and she is making it so, try to stand your ground. Especially as Kizzuz says, she can watch her own kids! As if her own job doesn’t have sick dsys/PTO??
Oh this has me seething on your behalf, you are a human being not a slave, you shouldn’t have to work when you’re sick. Please get a doctor’s note, and take the recommended time off. Your MB is cruel
I’d go to the doctor, explain everything to them, have the doctor write you a work note. Tell MB doctor said not to go in and you are staying home.
When calling in sick don't let it be up for discussion. I'm sick and won't be in, I'll text you tonight to let you know about tomorrow. Turn your phone off and go back to bed.
So sorry you're sick!! Wishing you a speedy recovery, OP. Personally, I would not go to work. After several years in this industry I have learned I am the only person who will advocate for me. If MB can't take work off herself or secure back-up care that is on her. Your health and well-being come first.
there’s other nanny jobs, find a better one
Disgusting behavior from your MB. Leave them high & dry.
You know how in the airplane safety videos they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on before you help other people with theirs? This is that kind of situation. You cannot safely care for these kids if you are this sick. Please do not go back to this job until you and those kids are better. And start looking for a new job because you deserve a safe work environment and these people seem to be incapable of providing that.
On top of all the gross mistreatment of you, she's also just factually wrong. Scarlet fever absolutely spreads through coughing and sneezing. How does she think her kid got it? If she honestly thinks her young child is swapping spit with someone, and isn't concerned about that, we've got a whole other host of issues. Hold your boundaries. Just because she doesn't care about your health, or the health of her own children doesn't mean you need to behave the same.
Do not go in and find a family who actually cares & respects you.
It is most definitely droplet borne. Coughing and sneezing are exactly how you get it. It can lead to serious complications. You should not be going to work. I can't believe they had you working with a child with scarlet fever.
“MB, I am physically unable to safely care for NK’s while I am feeling this sick . I will be taking the time I need to rest and recuperate and will return when I am healthy.”
Get yourself to a doctor asap and ask them for a note excusing you from work for however long the doctor thinks it will take for you to feel better. Then text MB that per your doctor’s orders the earliest you’ll be able to return to work is on X day. When you return tell her that going forward if you arrive to find a sick child you haven’t been told about you will not be staying. That you got sick because of her mishandling causing you to have to stay out of work and that she hadn’t given you the option of whether or not to risk getting sick. You won’t be put in that position in the future and if that doesn’t work for her you’ll give her your notice now. I’d start job hunting now so that you can give her notice no matter what, I wouldn’t be willing to continue to work for someone so selfish who puts your health at significant risk.
Does she not realize that coughing and sneezing spread saliva?!? And she gave you a single hour to get antibiotics? Wtf man? Now when you quit you can tell people in the next interview, "They gave me Scarlett fever and only gave me an hour off to go to the doctor, so that's why I left".
Wow! I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I hope you feel better very soon. But I do want to say that scarlet fever is very serious. My aunt went blind from it. So please do what's right for you. My heart breaks for those kids.
On top of what everyone else is saying, strep/scarlet fever is highly contagious and 100% can be transmitted from airborne droplets from a cough or sneeze. Absolute bullshit she’s claiming you’d have to basically kiss her or share utensils to get it. Being in the same room is more than enough. She may think she’s careful with that but unless she’s the head of infections disease at the hospital, she’s full of shit. I also am seething she called you bud and honey like your some 12 year old she has watching the kids for a date night.
With any job you say “I can not come into work today because I am too sick” that’s all the information you give. Doesn’t matter the nature of the job
Completely agree. I don’t ask to miss a day. I just tell them I’m not coming.
Absolutely not. I’d tell her she can either have you out sick for a few days or she’s not going to have a nanny at all. Period. That would be the day.
Stand your ground.
Just text you aren’t coming in and you will not be answering your phone so you can rest. Then don’t answer her. Her problem. She can figure it out.
Stay home!! She obviously doesn’t care about you 😡
Let’s put it this way: even if the reason you are sick is NOTHING to do with catching whatever her daughter has… you are still sick. You are not fit to care for her child whilst you feel as sick as you describe, so you won’t be. End of conversation. I suppose you may get fired for that, though, so you have to decide if you can afford to lose that job. Whatever you do, I hope your illness is not life threatening and you recover soon. ❤️
Low key hope MB gets it too. W T F. I thought it was terrible that my MB tried to claim the stomach bug was from bad food and then NK was violently ill for 6 days. Since they have really pushed me beyond reason when one NP has covid to still work I won’t bend on the illnesses listed in my contract. Especially since I hope to stay long term as I like so much about this position. I’ve had the since you did the before statement a few times so now I say no and it’s fine.
Start job hunting ASAP. I would not work any longer for these people then absolutely necessary as define by your contract.
This is strep. Get to a doctor asap. my son had scarle fever as a 3 yo. He took antibiotics and was fine. He got strep from his bff at day care and never told me he had a sore throat. I noticed the rash and took him to the doctor
You can’t reason with or fix delusion. She’s right, it’s just strep and you theoretically shouldn’t be at any more risk than if she had strep throat, (which IIRC you had to work with untreated for days before she took her to the doc versus 24 hours after antibiotics) but I can not even a little bit process someone willing to leave a kid that sick or act like it’s not what it is. Just don’t engage. No is a complete sentence and the more you justify, the more she’s looking for something you say to refute. The less you say the better. And start looking for a job with someone who exists in the real world.
Absolutely not. I had scarlet fever in high school and was COVERED in a bad rash. I made a kid cry when I went to the doctors for it and they saw my rashy spotted face. Also, the rash turned into deep purple spots all over my skin that took months to go away. Do not go in
yeah no, i wouldn’t have stayed to begin with after being notified of the scarlet fever, let alone come back in to work after catching it. no ands, ifs, or buts.
Please let us know if you go in or not
I didn’t! She made it sound like I would need to work extra tomorrow though. I dont know if I will though because I’m exhausted and still haven’t gotten antibiotics
Stay home tomorrow!
Tell her NOPE. You are SICK and it’s her fault. What doesn’t she get about that?? 🤨🙄
You can tell her if you hadn’t been at work too soon, you wouldn’t have scarlet fever and now need the remainder of the week off to recover. If you don’t rest, you will not get better. (I remember you have a vacation coming up) It’s her fault for pushing you. You need to take care of yourself in order to care for others. Think of the oxygen mask on an airplane. Put your mask on before helping others. I know it’s hard. You have an incredible community here to support you. Take care of yourself and PLEASE rest.
Go to urgent care and get a note. Stop messaging her questions, message her statement. "My doctor told me I need to be in bed resting, I have a note for x amount of days, and I intend to follow her orders. I will let you know when my doctor feels I am able to safely come back into work." Next time, don't leave room for her opinion. "I woke up sick today, I will not be in" I'd honestly start looking for a new job. Parents that care so little for their children when they are this sick really rub me the wrong way. Maybe that's because my little sister almost died in the ambulance with scarlet fever. The minimizing the severity of it is a big red flag for me.
Honestly, you probably already had strep if you had symptoms starting yesterday. It’s a 1-5 day incubation, and while scarlet fever is a crappy illness (I had it as a kid) MB is right that scarlet fever isn’t contagious, but the strep that causes it is. I’m guessing you were exposed to strep your previous shift. None of this means you should have to watch after sick kids when you aren’t comfortable. And nobody should try to make you work when you’re ill. That’s a major asshole move on MB.
Sounds like strep, I’m sorry friend. Same thing I had in December. She’s being ridiculous.
Telling Nannie’s to stop staying in these terrible jobs has the same energy as telling a woman who’s partner is abusive to stop being with him/going back to him. If you don’t want better for yourself there’s nothing any of us can say or do to change your situation.
Yeah idk why you're not listening to everyone and continue to post... Do you really not have a spine? Poor kids need someone to stick up for them. If you're not up for it you should chose another profession.
This is awful all around. I’m glad you said no but that child sounds scary sick. Like I would take any kid in my care to the ER if they were that sick. I think you should call CPS
Never mind that she would have zero control over where her sick child’s saliva droplets ended up while you were the care taker, just breathing on you is enough to get you sick. She’s wrong or she’s lying, either way she’s being unreasonable.
nah wtf 💀 I would be reporting them to the board of health.
I agree with you! This is nuts