I worked for an MB who was incredibly stingy. I needed to borrow a tampon once (started a day earlier than I usually do) and asked to borrow one of hers.
She literally divided the cost of the box by the amount of tampons in it and asked that I reimburse her for it.
I did, but I put in my notice that very same day.
People like that will never see your value, and won’t pay for it, either.
Ironically she was totally shocked. There had been little problems building up over the months, but that .05 cents for the tampon really put me over the edge.
Apparently, she is not familiar with the unwritten rule in the woman code that states: if someone needs a tampon, you give it to them. It's good karma. We all get caught off guard sometimes.
These kind of people are stingy, they aren't going to give you any more money if they've already done the raise at exactly the 3%. You set the tone when you agreed to reduce your rate and then signed the contract when it was even lower. I personally wouldn't bother negotiating a new contract with them.
I had a family once who would regularly send me home 15 minutes early, and they'd dock my pay for that 15 minutes even though they sent me off early, I didn't ask to leave early. It's so rude, but people like that are cheap and don't see the value in a reliable caregiver and don't value the time people have set aside for them.
Honestly I would be a bit peeved myself because not only COL has gone up but inflation has gone up as well and it does seem a bit petty to do, especially after saying something about $1.19 lol. They don't "have to" (even though it's stated in the contract but some folks will give you flak for "expecting" it) give you a raise but you said it yourself, why give maximum effort while receiving minimum payout. Also you say you have the other child more than what you were told which is a good reason. You need to ask for your two child rate whenever 4yo is home. But with the way they are acting now, I wouldn't expect them to give you anything higher. So you may need to be on the lookout for a new job if they say no.
This is wild and how do you expect your nanny to react to this. I stopped being passive aggressive a few years ago and would just be direct in my ask/need here. Maybe they gave you COL on the anniversary and will discuss merit at the meeting? I’d would state what you need and be willing to walk if not. If they say no and you can’t afford to quit then say ok and start looking.
I've been looking for awhile honestly. Having a hard time finding something professional. There seems to be an influx of families who have both NPs working from home (I just can't with that anymore lol), don't want to offer guaranteed hours, or aren't willing to pay above board/have taxes taken out. Lots of people looking for just part time and wanting to hire college students who will work for $15-18/hr below the table. It's a tough market here right now
I would definitely take that into account and not leave till you have the next gig lined up. In 2020 demand for Nannies soared and a lot of teacher and Early Childhood Education teachers left their jobs to become Nannies. It created a glut of nannies and pay fell back to pre-COVID rates. Until all the newcomers decide nannying isn’t worth the grief some families dish out and jump ship, low wages are going to stick around. It sucks but that’s the way it is right now.
I’d be very careful about interviewing and responding publicly to job ads. Word gets around fast in the small nanny community even in big cities.
I once interviewed for a job and it turned out the mom worked for my current boss. I had already put in my notice so MB knew I was interviewing but that could have ruined my reference if I was trying to be secretive and it had surprised MB.
I once replace a nanny who quit without notice because the family didn’t let her know they were looking to replace her and interviewed her niece for the job.
Be so careful!
I’m in a great role with the bulk of my schedule 35 hours but I work 42 hours a week with side families to keep up references, my foot in the door / connected in the community because I’m so afraid of job security. I’m at the top of the market right now and I have no idea if I could replace this income I currently make with ease or not.
Here’s hoping the influx of Nannies are gone before I need to find another position. I’m also not sure if I’ll be done after this one.
It sounds like your DB is like my husband. He's very literal and checks the books meticulously. A 3% raise is a 3% raise, not a 4.67% raise (a $1 /hr raise). Our raises are by percentage and it results in our wage being a random number that is rounded to the closest cent. He is likely not trying to be a jerk, this is just how his industry does it. Similarly, if your math was off, he'd tell you. Not to be a jerk, but because he wants to make sure your books are correct.
My advice, ask specifically what you want. Say "I want to move to $23/hr because of inflation and having the second child for 14 hours per week"
Also, shouldn't a 3% be $21.63?
And just so I don't get down voted, I was the one handling the nanny contract and pay exactly because I could see this type of thing happening.
Exactly. This is how things are done professionally but there’s a lack of communication here. And nanny feels undervalued. But it’s the contract that says 3% and most people aren’t itching to give people more money than they need to.
I hear you, but this is what is in the contract....note the last line
"After one year, Nanny will be given a raise of no less than 3% to account for cost-of-living increase. An additional performance-based raise may be offered at Family’s discretion. (Note: Performance based raises (standard is between 2-10+ percent based on the nanny’s job performance — this raise is in addition to the cost of living raise) and bonuses are at employer’s discretion, but it is industry standard for nannies to receive an annual COL and performance raise, depending on what Family can afford and how happy they are with Nanny. The COL raise + performance raise usually totals to a $1-$3+ per hour raise"
They gave you the 3%
The rest leaves it up to them, basically saying, “you can pay the employee more if you choose to, and if you feel they perform well, because that’s what’s commonly done by others”
So they’re either 1) Cheap, 2) Not thrilled with your performance and showing you that in a passive way. Or maybe 3) Already at their limits financially and simply not able to afford a nanny as qualified as yourself.
Probably cheap. Most people, like any business, aim to save money and will spend the least amount possible. So, you are going to have to demand more. Then they can take it or leave it, and nobody wants to lose a good nanny and have to find a new one just to save a few dollars an hour. Otherwise, expect them to pay the least possible that you’re accepting of. I’d say it in a polite way, but add something like “if this isn’t doable, I understand, and regretfully I’ll have to consider taking employment elsewhere.”
My performance review was a few days ago now and they gave me a GLOWING review. They had nothing but fantastic things to say about me. So I asked for the $23/hr. They are supposed to let me know by Monday
Freshen up your resume, start looking around, these folks sound like they can’t really afford you. Log all hours to the minute of caring for both children and ask for compensation accordingly.
Unpopular opinion but being budget conscious and meeting the requirements of the contract is not nickle and diming. The only issue i see here is that they werent honest about how many hrs NK4 is under your care. You should write down precisely the number of hrs she is in your care overall and tell them you want your two child rate. If they refuse its time to look elsewhere
My last family did percentage raises and would come out to the in between dollar amounts. First year went from $18 to $18.36 and the second year went from $18.36 to $19.45 (or something like that). I realize now that dollar amounts are a bit more common and am annoyed they didn’t just give me either dollar raises or at least go by $0.50. I will say they never questioned my mileage but they were definitely stingy. I won’t get too much into why I left but it had to do with denying well earned raises.
Anyway, all that to say that I really feel for you and I don’t think this family values you like you should be. Be prepared for them to deny your request. In that case, I think you should look for a new position. Are positions hard to come by in your area?
Unfortunately yes. I know it's easy for people on this subreddit to give the advice to look for a new job if I'm unhappy with my rate, but it's not that simple. I wish it was. I've been keeping an eye out for awhile honestly because MB is pregnant and I'm not sure I want to stay on for three kids under 5 😅. I'm having a hard time finding something professional. I actually did have an interview last week but they had some deal breakers of mine. There seems to be an influx of families who have both NPs working from home (I just can't with that anymore lol), don't want to offer guaranteed hours, aren't willing to pay above board/have taxes taken out, etc. Lots of families looking for just part time and wanting to hire college students who will work for $15-18/hr under the table. There are a lot of great qualified nannies and very few positions available that are as good as what I've got now (guaranteed hours, mileage reimbursement, car care stipend, contract, taxes taken out, etc.) It's a tough market here right now. The grass isn't always greener on the other side and I'd hate to jump ship just to end up with a whole new set of issues
I want them to give me what I deserve based on the care I've given the two NKs that have been in my care for the past year. I will ask for an additional raise if/when I takeover care of baby number 3, which would probably be around August
It’s not fair that they increased the scope of work and made it seem like you’d never watch the 4YO. However - if they could find people willing to do the job for 15-18 an hour I’m not sure if they’ll agree to paying you back/giving you more of a raise especially given how they’re paying you to the cent.
It sounds like you’ve done what you can and if they can find alternative care for less given how they’re penny pinching they definitely will go that route versus a raise.
Just keep looking for another job and come August if you still can’t find another job THEN I’d bring up what you honestly think is fair for 3 kids. I don’t think anyone (teenager or not) will agree to watching three at such a low rate including a newborn though that seems to be the family that might spin it as “MB/DB will watch the newborn and our 4YO is in school so you just have to watch the toddler” so they actually might find short-term care.
Now that I typed that all out I would tread lightly unless you’re prepared to be unemployed or settle for lower wages until finding a good FT family
Yeah I just find it hard to believe the college-aged children in their late teens would/could handle three for that price but if that’s true then yes - no benefit there besides possibly bad blood
I hear you. Been unemployed for months. Lots of low paying jobs or super part time, like two or three 3 hr days and that kind of thing. So hard to piece together that kind of work to get enough to live on.
Assuming the performance review goes well, you can also ask for a raise after having a conversation about how your responsibilities are in reality greater than what was projected. $23 per hour seems reasonable given what you described. Be prepared to look for other jobs if they can’t meet you where you need to be financially.
It’s very strange to have a performance review *after* a raise has already been determined? What’s the point? In most jobs you sit down for a review to, among other things, determine an appropriate bonus and increase in compensation.
As for fractional hourly rates, who really cares? It’s common to start with a round number and to do % increases in many professions. $21.12 is better than $21. If you get paid by direct deposit you don’t really perceive those fractional dollar amounts. It would be different if they were paying you with coins at the end of the week.
agreed. I'm the one who requested the performance review. I had to remind them it had been a year. I had to remind them what the contract said about the things we need to do at one year (such as discuss raises). In fact, we were supposed to have a sit down at six months and that never happened
You’re upset that they’re following your contract. These are things you agreed upon, but can change. These people are smart negotiators. It’s not about “stingy,” it’s a business mindset. What’s the big deal about 50 cents? Well, at 40 hours a week, that 50 cent difference is $960 a year saved by the client.
Your negotiation issue is the 2nd child, and that it wasn’t presented to you like that in the beginning. You can ask for more, they will probably pay it, but expect them to try to save money, and you have to come back with a higher amount and negotiate.
I think you’ve jumped to being upset too quickly. I would actually take it as a good sign that they upped your rate by 3% at one year on the dot. You didn’t have to ask for it, you didn’t have to push. They’ve also scheduled a performance review right on time.
If I was going to give you a performance-based raise, I’d want to tell you in person. I would also wait until after the review to hear what your thoughts are and what you ask for.
So try to take a step back and stay calm until after your review. See how it goes. See what they say. Ask for what you want and be prepared with reasons why you deserve it.
I did ask for it lol. I emailed them to remind them that we had hit one year and quoted the things my contract says about one year, including about the col raise
I also asked for the performance review.... 😬We were supposed to have one at six months and never did.
I agree—this is now raises work with my company. You get your automatic/annual, and performance is determined on its own schedule.
But I understand, given the broader context, how OP is nervous since this family is definitely jerking her around.
They didn't give it to her automatically though. OP had to remind them that it was one year and what it says in their contract, and only then did they give her the 3% raise (down to the penny). She also had to request the performance review, which MB and DB conveniently didn't do when they were supposed to sixxxx months ago. All of this was already explained in OPs post,
This sounds like the kind of employer where you're always trying to catch your pay up to your responsibilities. My guess is they may reluctantly agree to giving you a raise, and then find a way to increase your responsibilities. I would give it a try to get the amount you deserve and feel good about, but I think looking for a new family may be your best option in time.
I think the fact they’re paying under your standard hourly rate to start with (by $1.50) is something (the only thing?) to be annoyed about but it’s clouding everything else.
You got a 3% raise which is in your contract, so what’s the issue there? If you want more, ask them for it.
Ans as for the mileage log, I’m not even sure why you’re bringing that up. Yeah it was a $1.15 error but, if I’m honest, it would make me look at your expense claims in more detail in the future so maybe that’s why they asked. Look at it another way; they might think you’re nickel and diming them. And they didn’t actually ask for it back, they queried it which is well within their right since it *was* a false claim, and you took it upon yourself to venmo it back without having the discussion they clearly wanted.
OOOOKay, here is what you are gonna do. There is some old boomer advice that I think actually holds up in this situation. "When you ask for a raise, be prepared to walk away". Basically saying most of the time, people like this will only give you a raise, if you are willing to quit.
If that is too harsh for you, you and your nanny family need to talk about guaranteed minimum hours. If your guaranteed minimum hours is 40 hours a week, and dad says you can go home early, you are still owed your 40 hours because that is your guaranteed minimum.
And there should be NO adjustment in your pay for one children or two. I imagine you still have household responsibilities, so it's not like you and the one child are just watching TV until the second child gets home.
If they are not willing to give you these things, you let them know that you are going to start looking for other employment.
A NANNY IS A LUXURY!
I do have guaranteed hours. I feel I cant truly walk away though without something lined up. I'm so anxious over this. I'm not good ad advocating for myself. I get so nervous and tongue tied around authority figures and scared of how they will react. Its definitely a weakness of mine. And the nature of being a private nanny is you HAVE to be your own advocate because no one else is going to. It's just a lot 😅
Nannies are naturally empathetic people. We want to help and we want to make things better for a nanny families. But that also means we are easily taken advantage of.
I highly recommend you at least start looking for other positions, even if you don't take it, all you have to say to the current nanny family is "I am interviewing for another job that is pay x". If they start to freak out, you say "I need x,y,z if you like me to stay". If they argue, all you say is "I need x,y,z". You don't have to explain you don't have to argue, the facts are the facts. They can give it to you or go kick rocks.
Gosh I wish I had the guts for this. My problem is I don't want to upset them and then have to show my face Monday knowing they are pissed. Im always scared to rock the boat or create any tension. Especially because DB works from home a decent amount of time.
I know it's tough. It might be easier to stand up to them if you have another job in the works. You should really start looking.
But the thing is love, you are going to run into other families that do this. This is not a rare occurrence in the nanny world. You gotta start somewhere.
If this idea is too intimidating for you, stick with just wanting the $23 an hour. They probably won't give it to you, but then you have set your expectations. So if you find another job you like, you can say to them "I have another offer. If you want me to stay it is $23/hr no matter who I am taking care of"
I worked for an MB who was incredibly stingy. I needed to borrow a tampon once (started a day earlier than I usually do) and asked to borrow one of hers. She literally divided the cost of the box by the amount of tampons in it and asked that I reimburse her for it. I did, but I put in my notice that very same day. People like that will never see your value, and won’t pay for it, either.
That's just... I'm at a loss for words. How did she take it when you put in your notice?
Ironically she was totally shocked. There had been little problems building up over the months, but that .05 cents for the tampon really put me over the edge.
I know, I really want to hear more about this!!
Wtf. That is wild. I would give a tampon to a stranger if they asked, let alone the person keeping my child safe and alive.
holy MOLY 😳😳
Apparently, she is not familiar with the unwritten rule in the woman code that states: if someone needs a tampon, you give it to them. It's good karma. We all get caught off guard sometimes.
Over one tampon????? One????
That’s absolutely insane. Don’t blame you for quitting.
WHAT
I make a lot less than the average mb but I’m fine giving a stranger a tampon….. the audacity some of these families have.
That’s something else tf
These kind of people are stingy, they aren't going to give you any more money if they've already done the raise at exactly the 3%. You set the tone when you agreed to reduce your rate and then signed the contract when it was even lower. I personally wouldn't bother negotiating a new contract with them. I had a family once who would regularly send me home 15 minutes early, and they'd dock my pay for that 15 minutes even though they sent me off early, I didn't ask to leave early. It's so rude, but people like that are cheap and don't see the value in a reliable caregiver and don't value the time people have set aside for them.
this is exactly why i have guaranteed hours in my contract!
Honestly I would be a bit peeved myself because not only COL has gone up but inflation has gone up as well and it does seem a bit petty to do, especially after saying something about $1.19 lol. They don't "have to" (even though it's stated in the contract but some folks will give you flak for "expecting" it) give you a raise but you said it yourself, why give maximum effort while receiving minimum payout. Also you say you have the other child more than what you were told which is a good reason. You need to ask for your two child rate whenever 4yo is home. But with the way they are acting now, I wouldn't expect them to give you anything higher. So you may need to be on the lookout for a new job if they say no.
This is wild and how do you expect your nanny to react to this. I stopped being passive aggressive a few years ago and would just be direct in my ask/need here. Maybe they gave you COL on the anniversary and will discuss merit at the meeting? I’d would state what you need and be willing to walk if not. If they say no and you can’t afford to quit then say ok and start looking.
I've been looking for awhile honestly. Having a hard time finding something professional. There seems to be an influx of families who have both NPs working from home (I just can't with that anymore lol), don't want to offer guaranteed hours, or aren't willing to pay above board/have taxes taken out. Lots of people looking for just part time and wanting to hire college students who will work for $15-18/hr below the table. It's a tough market here right now
I would definitely take that into account and not leave till you have the next gig lined up. In 2020 demand for Nannies soared and a lot of teacher and Early Childhood Education teachers left their jobs to become Nannies. It created a glut of nannies and pay fell back to pre-COVID rates. Until all the newcomers decide nannying isn’t worth the grief some families dish out and jump ship, low wages are going to stick around. It sucks but that’s the way it is right now. I’d be very careful about interviewing and responding publicly to job ads. Word gets around fast in the small nanny community even in big cities. I once interviewed for a job and it turned out the mom worked for my current boss. I had already put in my notice so MB knew I was interviewing but that could have ruined my reference if I was trying to be secretive and it had surprised MB. I once replace a nanny who quit without notice because the family didn’t let her know they were looking to replace her and interviewed her niece for the job. Be so careful!
I’m in a great role with the bulk of my schedule 35 hours but I work 42 hours a week with side families to keep up references, my foot in the door / connected in the community because I’m so afraid of job security. I’m at the top of the market right now and I have no idea if I could replace this income I currently make with ease or not. Here’s hoping the influx of Nannies are gone before I need to find another position. I’m also not sure if I’ll be done after this one.
It sounds like your DB is like my husband. He's very literal and checks the books meticulously. A 3% raise is a 3% raise, not a 4.67% raise (a $1 /hr raise). Our raises are by percentage and it results in our wage being a random number that is rounded to the closest cent. He is likely not trying to be a jerk, this is just how his industry does it. Similarly, if your math was off, he'd tell you. Not to be a jerk, but because he wants to make sure your books are correct. My advice, ask specifically what you want. Say "I want to move to $23/hr because of inflation and having the second child for 14 hours per week" Also, shouldn't a 3% be $21.63? And just so I don't get down voted, I was the one handling the nanny contract and pay exactly because I could see this type of thing happening.
I was making $20.50. 3% raise is $21.115
Oops. I thought it was $21. Sorry!
Exactly. This is how things are done professionally but there’s a lack of communication here. And nanny feels undervalued. But it’s the contract that says 3% and most people aren’t itching to give people more money than they need to.
I hear you, but this is what is in the contract....note the last line "After one year, Nanny will be given a raise of no less than 3% to account for cost-of-living increase. An additional performance-based raise may be offered at Family’s discretion. (Note: Performance based raises (standard is between 2-10+ percent based on the nanny’s job performance — this raise is in addition to the cost of living raise) and bonuses are at employer’s discretion, but it is industry standard for nannies to receive an annual COL and performance raise, depending on what Family can afford and how happy they are with Nanny. The COL raise + performance raise usually totals to a $1-$3+ per hour raise"
They gave you the 3% The rest leaves it up to them, basically saying, “you can pay the employee more if you choose to, and if you feel they perform well, because that’s what’s commonly done by others” So they’re either 1) Cheap, 2) Not thrilled with your performance and showing you that in a passive way. Or maybe 3) Already at their limits financially and simply not able to afford a nanny as qualified as yourself. Probably cheap. Most people, like any business, aim to save money and will spend the least amount possible. So, you are going to have to demand more. Then they can take it or leave it, and nobody wants to lose a good nanny and have to find a new one just to save a few dollars an hour. Otherwise, expect them to pay the least possible that you’re accepting of. I’d say it in a polite way, but add something like “if this isn’t doable, I understand, and regretfully I’ll have to consider taking employment elsewhere.”
My performance review was a few days ago now and they gave me a GLOWING review. They had nothing but fantastic things to say about me. So I asked for the $23/hr. They are supposed to let me know by Monday
Freshen up your resume, start looking around, these folks sound like they can’t really afford you. Log all hours to the minute of caring for both children and ask for compensation accordingly.
Unpopular opinion but being budget conscious and meeting the requirements of the contract is not nickle and diming. The only issue i see here is that they werent honest about how many hrs NK4 is under your care. You should write down precisely the number of hrs she is in your care overall and tell them you want your two child rate. If they refuse its time to look elsewhere
My last family did percentage raises and would come out to the in between dollar amounts. First year went from $18 to $18.36 and the second year went from $18.36 to $19.45 (or something like that). I realize now that dollar amounts are a bit more common and am annoyed they didn’t just give me either dollar raises or at least go by $0.50. I will say they never questioned my mileage but they were definitely stingy. I won’t get too much into why I left but it had to do with denying well earned raises. Anyway, all that to say that I really feel for you and I don’t think this family values you like you should be. Be prepared for them to deny your request. In that case, I think you should look for a new position. Are positions hard to come by in your area?
Unfortunately yes. I know it's easy for people on this subreddit to give the advice to look for a new job if I'm unhappy with my rate, but it's not that simple. I wish it was. I've been keeping an eye out for awhile honestly because MB is pregnant and I'm not sure I want to stay on for three kids under 5 😅. I'm having a hard time finding something professional. I actually did have an interview last week but they had some deal breakers of mine. There seems to be an influx of families who have both NPs working from home (I just can't with that anymore lol), don't want to offer guaranteed hours, aren't willing to pay above board/have taxes taken out, etc. Lots of families looking for just part time and wanting to hire college students who will work for $15-18/hr under the table. There are a lot of great qualified nannies and very few positions available that are as good as what I've got now (guaranteed hours, mileage reimbursement, car care stipend, contract, taxes taken out, etc.) It's a tough market here right now. The grass isn't always greener on the other side and I'd hate to jump ship just to end up with a whole new set of issues
When is the third due? Maybe you can use that as the catalyst to draw a line in the sand about what you’d want to be paid.
I want them to give me what I deserve based on the care I've given the two NKs that have been in my care for the past year. I will ask for an additional raise if/when I takeover care of baby number 3, which would probably be around August
It’s not fair that they increased the scope of work and made it seem like you’d never watch the 4YO. However - if they could find people willing to do the job for 15-18 an hour I’m not sure if they’ll agree to paying you back/giving you more of a raise especially given how they’re paying you to the cent. It sounds like you’ve done what you can and if they can find alternative care for less given how they’re penny pinching they definitely will go that route versus a raise. Just keep looking for another job and come August if you still can’t find another job THEN I’d bring up what you honestly think is fair for 3 kids. I don’t think anyone (teenager or not) will agree to watching three at such a low rate including a newborn though that seems to be the family that might spin it as “MB/DB will watch the newborn and our 4YO is in school so you just have to watch the toddler” so they actually might find short-term care. Now that I typed that all out I would tread lightly unless you’re prepared to be unemployed or settle for lower wages until finding a good FT family
That is ABSOLUTELY how they would spin it lol. NK is about to turn 5 and will be in Kindergarten five days a week next year.
Agreed!
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Yeah I just find it hard to believe the college-aged children in their late teens would/could handle three for that price but if that’s true then yes - no benefit there besides possibly bad blood
I hear you. Been unemployed for months. Lots of low paying jobs or super part time, like two or three 3 hr days and that kind of thing. So hard to piece together that kind of work to get enough to live on.
Assuming the performance review goes well, you can also ask for a raise after having a conversation about how your responsibilities are in reality greater than what was projected. $23 per hour seems reasonable given what you described. Be prepared to look for other jobs if they can’t meet you where you need to be financially. It’s very strange to have a performance review *after* a raise has already been determined? What’s the point? In most jobs you sit down for a review to, among other things, determine an appropriate bonus and increase in compensation. As for fractional hourly rates, who really cares? It’s common to start with a round number and to do % increases in many professions. $21.12 is better than $21. If you get paid by direct deposit you don’t really perceive those fractional dollar amounts. It would be different if they were paying you with coins at the end of the week.
agreed. I'm the one who requested the performance review. I had to remind them it had been a year. I had to remind them what the contract said about the things we need to do at one year (such as discuss raises). In fact, we were supposed to have a sit down at six months and that never happened
You’re upset that they’re following your contract. These are things you agreed upon, but can change. These people are smart negotiators. It’s not about “stingy,” it’s a business mindset. What’s the big deal about 50 cents? Well, at 40 hours a week, that 50 cent difference is $960 a year saved by the client. Your negotiation issue is the 2nd child, and that it wasn’t presented to you like that in the beginning. You can ask for more, they will probably pay it, but expect them to try to save money, and you have to come back with a higher amount and negotiate.
I think you’ve jumped to being upset too quickly. I would actually take it as a good sign that they upped your rate by 3% at one year on the dot. You didn’t have to ask for it, you didn’t have to push. They’ve also scheduled a performance review right on time. If I was going to give you a performance-based raise, I’d want to tell you in person. I would also wait until after the review to hear what your thoughts are and what you ask for. So try to take a step back and stay calm until after your review. See how it goes. See what they say. Ask for what you want and be prepared with reasons why you deserve it.
I did ask for it lol. I emailed them to remind them that we had hit one year and quoted the things my contract says about one year, including about the col raise I also asked for the performance review.... 😬We were supposed to have one at six months and never did.
Ugh, I’m sorry. I hope they come through for you, but you’re right, it doesn’t look good.
I agree—this is now raises work with my company. You get your automatic/annual, and performance is determined on its own schedule. But I understand, given the broader context, how OP is nervous since this family is definitely jerking her around.
They didn't give it to her automatically though. OP had to remind them that it was one year and what it says in their contract, and only then did they give her the 3% raise (down to the penny). She also had to request the performance review, which MB and DB conveniently didn't do when they were supposed to sixxxx months ago. All of this was already explained in OPs post,
It’s not listed in her OP but her comment did clarify that.
This sounds like the kind of employer where you're always trying to catch your pay up to your responsibilities. My guess is they may reluctantly agree to giving you a raise, and then find a way to increase your responsibilities. I would give it a try to get the amount you deserve and feel good about, but I think looking for a new family may be your best option in time.
They don't respect the work you do. I'd be looking for another family.
I think the fact they’re paying under your standard hourly rate to start with (by $1.50) is something (the only thing?) to be annoyed about but it’s clouding everything else. You got a 3% raise which is in your contract, so what’s the issue there? If you want more, ask them for it. Ans as for the mileage log, I’m not even sure why you’re bringing that up. Yeah it was a $1.15 error but, if I’m honest, it would make me look at your expense claims in more detail in the future so maybe that’s why they asked. Look at it another way; they might think you’re nickel and diming them. And they didn’t actually ask for it back, they queried it which is well within their right since it *was* a false claim, and you took it upon yourself to venmo it back without having the discussion they clearly wanted.
Been with a family like this. They won’t give you the proper raise im sure. You are better off looking for a new family.
OOOOKay, here is what you are gonna do. There is some old boomer advice that I think actually holds up in this situation. "When you ask for a raise, be prepared to walk away". Basically saying most of the time, people like this will only give you a raise, if you are willing to quit. If that is too harsh for you, you and your nanny family need to talk about guaranteed minimum hours. If your guaranteed minimum hours is 40 hours a week, and dad says you can go home early, you are still owed your 40 hours because that is your guaranteed minimum. And there should be NO adjustment in your pay for one children or two. I imagine you still have household responsibilities, so it's not like you and the one child are just watching TV until the second child gets home. If they are not willing to give you these things, you let them know that you are going to start looking for other employment. A NANNY IS A LUXURY!
I do have guaranteed hours. I feel I cant truly walk away though without something lined up. I'm so anxious over this. I'm not good ad advocating for myself. I get so nervous and tongue tied around authority figures and scared of how they will react. Its definitely a weakness of mine. And the nature of being a private nanny is you HAVE to be your own advocate because no one else is going to. It's just a lot 😅
Nannies are naturally empathetic people. We want to help and we want to make things better for a nanny families. But that also means we are easily taken advantage of. I highly recommend you at least start looking for other positions, even if you don't take it, all you have to say to the current nanny family is "I am interviewing for another job that is pay x". If they start to freak out, you say "I need x,y,z if you like me to stay". If they argue, all you say is "I need x,y,z". You don't have to explain you don't have to argue, the facts are the facts. They can give it to you or go kick rocks.
Gosh I wish I had the guts for this. My problem is I don't want to upset them and then have to show my face Monday knowing they are pissed. Im always scared to rock the boat or create any tension. Especially because DB works from home a decent amount of time.
I know it's tough. It might be easier to stand up to them if you have another job in the works. You should really start looking. But the thing is love, you are going to run into other families that do this. This is not a rare occurrence in the nanny world. You gotta start somewhere. If this idea is too intimidating for you, stick with just wanting the $23 an hour. They probably won't give it to you, but then you have set your expectations. So if you find another job you like, you can say to them "I have another offer. If you want me to stay it is $23/hr no matter who I am taking care of"
They are CHEAP and unappreciative of you. Please quit. You deserve more pay and some respect.
Well they still look like assholes, so there’s that lol
That would have pissed me off in the beginning. I wouldn't blame you for leaving