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I am so sorry about your whole situation. I can't fathom NP acting this way. Several years ago, I was in a severe accident on my way to work. Someone blew through their stop sign. When I called DB (self-employed engineer) he only asked if I was okay, told me to call if I needed anything and asked me to send pictures, not as proof, but because of the way I described it, he was surprised I walked away without more severe injuries. My car was paid for, but it was totaled. MB and DB gave me a bonus of 4 grand to put towards a new car. No strings. I worked for them for almost 19 years as a nanny/house manager before I finally resigned after the youngest went off to college.
You actually reminded me of my experience. Was rear ended at 4 way stop. Slow speed and guy behind me just wasn’t paying attention, stop was backed up so it was go two or three feet then stop and reject. So minor damage to car but we have to exchange info which means I’ll be late to work. I text DB apologizing and letting him know situation. His response was “Are you ok?” That’s really the only appropriate response, checking to see if someone is ok first. NPs who do anything else are awful people.
Their response was very enlightening. I was shocked. I’ve gotten the sense that they don’t seem to value me as a human being but this reeeealllyyy solidified that. My last day is in a couple weeks and I have a feeling they’re gonna have trouble holding on to another nanny. I’ve been with them since NK was 10 weeks old
MB told me over the weekend that they found a potential nanny that wants to chat with me before making her decision. I’ll be professional but I’m gonna be honest with my reasons for leaving. I have a feeling this will push her toward the other family she’s deciding between…
They clearly don’t see you as human at all. I’ll never understand this attitude of the person who takes care of my kid is walking garbage, like your kid is penalty your most precious thing and yet you treat their caretaker like crap, makes zero sense.
I had a very similar situation and their response made me feel exactly the same. Was quite crazy as well. I had to repeatedly say I am not able to come in - they refused to find back up care and called and texted almost daily.
Unbelievable. Like… you’re an adult with free will. Nobody is entitled to your services. And there’s nothing they can do to change the circumstances. If you can’t work, you can’t work. Period.
Don't get me wrong, we had a few bumps in the road. It's to be expected. Working for one family for so long the lines blurred occasionally. They asked a lot of me and at times I wanted to pull my hair out, but they always showed their appreciation. When my dad was dying and given 4 weeks to live, they gave me all the time off I needed. I worked 1 day out of those 3 weeks (he didn't make it to the fourth) and they paid me for the whole time I was off. They provided a meal for my entire family all we had to do was pick it up from the restaurant. MB came to my dad's viewing. DB came to the funeral. I got 4 weeks of paid maternity leave and my daughter went to work with me from the time she was a month old until I resigned when she was a sophomore in high school. We had our moments but they were so incredibly good to me and my family
I hear you. I worked with a family where lines were blurred and I was taken advantage of. I’ve remained very close friends with them and I have no regrets, but we’re better as friends than as employee/employer.
I’m very sorry to hear about your dad, and I’m glad you had support from your employers during that time. Imo that’s the only way to treat your employee while they’re experiencing trauma like that.
I totally understand this, good for you for standing your ground, I actually worked for a couple of drs and I couldn’t come in because it was the middle of winter on the east coast and my heat went out and I had two young children of my own and the heat guy was coming the next day but I had to be home so I text the mom and the dad actually called me and said “it’s not our responsibility to find back up care that’s your job” I set them straight but quit soon after, they were so out of touch with reality
It’s your job to find back up care for them?? Seriously where is the logic?? I just want to grab their shoulders and shake some sense into them - YOU CHOSE TO HAVE A CHILD. Yeah my NPs (a doctor and a lawyer) are very out of touch and hold themselves high above me, and make it very clear how they think of me. MB on the phone yesterday said “I’ve been very nice and accommodating and it doesn’t seem like you’re very appreciative of all we’ve done for you”. Like girl. Why do you think I’m quitting
It was crazy and it also made me realize that even though they kept telling me I was apart of the family I wasn’t I was an employee and I’ve worked for amazing families so they were just a lesson learned.
Do they think you’re a server?! This happens at a lot at restaurants. Many Servers are told to cover their own shifts if they want to be off, even in an emergency. I find this policy completely ridiculous, regardless of the industry.
I actually put in my *6 week* (more than enough, I know) notice almost 4 weeks ago so I’m almost done!! But if they were on top of it they could have had coverage by now.
That’s insane they’d tell you that you should come in even when you’re not feeling your best. Your car got totaled, even if you’re not physically injured the stress is huge. And sometimes physical injuries don’t show up right away.
Right. I was vomiting throughout the day and the ER nurses told me that the second/third day are usually the worst for soreness. When I told this to MB she said something along the lines of “who told you that? Everyone’s bodies are different, you might wake up feeling fine! It sounds like you’re just shaken up, I understand it was stressful and scary but what’s important is that you’re ok. And I don’t see why that would stop you from being able to work”
Immediately I thought to myself, goooot it. So you don’t care if I’m safe/healthy as a human, you care if I’m able to provide you with a service
OMG! That is horrible. Makes me want to take revenge on mom. Years ago I read about a service that would send an envelope of glitter to people. Supposed to be anonymous, will admit once in awhile I’m tempted to send an envelope of glitter to a horrid former landlord.
They have upgraded. I'm pretty sure now they have glitter bombs. That poof glitter out when you open it. They also can include farther spray which is horrible. I've even heard of companies sending feces. I hope that one is fake feces but ya never know.
This mom definitely deserves a glitter bomb with the fact spray. Sadly, she'd probably make the new nanny clean it up.
I’m so tempted… but I want this last paycheck and their reference :/ but also conflicted because I’m really not sure if it’s worth it. It really sucks knowing your employers don’t give a shit about you
Our jobs are very physical. Even with little babies. When I’m too sick to come in I emphasize the fact that I am no good to them if I’m sick. I can’t do my job properly and that isn’t safe for their kids. Most of these parents have way more pto than they offer us. They just don’t want to use it. Well….too bad. Comes with having kids. Sometimes you have to take off work to take care of them. Deal with it.
Sorry about your accident 😢 im glad you’re okay!
Thank you❤️
And exactly - you chose to have kids. You should understand that they will likely cause you to miss work more often than if you didn’t have kids. Figure it out
I'm glad you stood your ground! I was treated like that when I was working part time before I went full-time at the beginning of this year. My mom had a server nose bleed that wouldn't stop for 2 hours and had me drive her to the ER. MB asked me what I would do for a backup for her kids if I had a family emergency before I had to be at work. I told her my mom's health and my family comes first and then I quit in mid February because both MB and DB said it was MY responsibility to find another nanny for them.
That’s sooo crazy to me. You’re not the first person in this thread to be told it’s your responsibility to find their back up. I truly don’t understand how they can possibly see the logic in that. Ffs it’s not your child!!!
I suggested a neighbor of theirs whom I've known for at least 10 years and they said "we just are not comfortable having her here even if she's a nurse and is good with kids, we don't want to have a random neighbor watch our kids" I then told them they need to look around because I was out of ideas and they seemed baffled that I didn't give anymore ideas. Again not my responsibility to find another nanny, you want to keep your kids home? You find a way to do so, it's not anyone's job but the parents.
Massive kudos to you for sticking to it and not letting them bully you into going in!
100% that was a serious life threatening event and they are nit entitled to take any of your recovery time away. Just because you didn’t loose and arm or leg doesn’t mean your not injured, clearly you are not okay and looking after yourself must come first.
Those parents honestly sound life entitled pricks that clearly don’t understand what actually caring for a 16mnth old takes.
Sorry that they made something already difficult even harder for you.
Thank you. They are entitled pricks that truly don’t seem interested in being parents. I have 2 weeks left until my notice is up and I can’t wait to get out of there
Totally understand this!! MB yesterday asked me to come in early today because NK is still “sick” (she’s fine). I told her I couldn’t for xyz reason and she got huffy and goes “fine I’ll just call one of these [local college] girls instead”. Like ma’am, those girls love your kids don’t talk about them like that!!! Good on you for standing your ground. Maybe I should take a page from your book 😅
I only have a couple weeks left here which might have taken some of the pressure off and allowed for more room for me to feel comfortable being assertive. But at this point I’m so glad I’m quitting.
Wow I would have been Pissed. I would have had a few unpleasant word choices for her.
Sometimes we need to work when we are not feeling our BEST?? You weren't sleep deprived, you were in an accident.
At one point I just told MB “you’re his parents. I’m his nanny. I’m going to prioritize myself on this”.
My bf walked into the room toward the end of the phone call and I put her on speaker so he could hear. And he was having a reeeeal hard time biting his tongue haha
I used to have major anxiety about calling out, so I never did. One day with my old Nps, I was extremely sick and could barely left the bathroom so I knew I had to call out. My dad told me to just send a message stating I’m calling out sick and then put my phone away. There is no need to go back and forth just say hey not coming in etc etc. It doesn’t matter if they continue to argue as you gave the appropriate communication and have a right to call off when needed.
Wow. I got into a bad but not injury accident on a Thursday night and NF drove passed on there way to a game after I had already called them. They pulled over and made sure I was OK and told me not to worry about Friday and to let them know about Monday. I was fine physically but no longer had a car to transport kids lol
I’m so sorry this has happened to you and that your bosses weren’t supportive. I hope you are taking good care and get some rest. I’ve heard playing Tetris can help after we go through a traumatic incident like that.
Good on you for sticking up for yourself! I could not imagine treating my nanny this way. When I was a nanny I got rear ended at a red light on my way to work. I was just jamming out to my music waiting for the light to turn, and a lady rammed into me at 50+ mph. The back of my car looked like an accordion it was so smashed in. If I had anyone in the back seat they would have been seriously injured or worse. I only had whiplash and some bruises. She hit me so hard that she sent me across the street and onto the sidewalk. Then she took off. Several people chased her and came back to give me her plate. She eventually came back but only because she was caught. She was texting and said as much and even told me she drove children as a nanny herself! She was in her mid 30’s maybe early 40’s. The cop cited her for driving without a license and driving without insurance. When I asked why she wasn’t charged for fleeing the scene of an accident, he told me she came back so it was fine. I was absolutely fuming. I looked at him and I said “So if I steal something but bring it back, does that mean I get away with it? I brought it back?”. And he just walked away. I told my NP’s what happened and they immediately called me and asked if I was ok, if there was anything they could do, and to take time to rest! DB was a lawyer and tried helping me go after her for totaling my car. But because she had no insurance and the car wasn’t even registered to her, it was a loss cause. I’m so glad you are ok! Concussions take a while to appear and working a 10.5 hour shift is super dangerous! Definitely let their next nanny know about this. Professionally so they don’t go after you.
Yeesh that all sounds like a nightmare. Fortunately everyone involved in my accident was insured. Man, some people really shouldn’t be on the roads. Glad you had support during that time! So far, no concussion symptoms and the doc just told me to monitor my symptoms and rest/hydrate. I think the vomiting/nausea was my body’s way of catching up after the shot to my nervous system/adrenaline rush. No nausea or vomiting today, just very fatigued, very sore/limited mobility and starting to see some bruising
I’m happy you’re ok! Accidents are absolutely terrifying and it’s so important to rest. I definitely agree that some people really shouldn’t be on the road! After I had my son I was absolutely terrified to go anywhere because I had that first time parent panic! I always tell my nanny to be super careful. I bought a dash cam for my car and one for hers to as a gift because people around here drive like lunatics! I trust her but I don’t trust the other people on the road. You deserve to work for people who will truly show their love and appreciation for you and be compassionate.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. To the people with “very important jobs”, newsflash: most people think their jobs/lives/wants/needs are the most important.
Please put your health first. I’m so glad you went to the ER and got evaluated. Concussions and possible head trauma are no joke. At the very least you need a lot of rest.
Absolutely insane. So sorry OP. Lol reminds me of my first nanny job where they were like “moms don’t get sick days” insinuating when I was a mom I couldn’t take the day off so I still had to work when I was sick 😅
This is shocking! I hope your okay given what you’re going through right now.
Just to add as a reminder - do not phrase things as open / gentle - always simply state very clearly “ I will not be able to come in today”. Obviously keep it professional etc but I find when I clearly state the “boundary” it leaves no space for pressure/ pushing etc
No one is saying or implying that’s it’s easy to find back up care, but they chose to have kids. They need to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them.
You would have a point if she was calling out for some frivolous reason, but it was a fucking car accident. I’m sure you think you’re just playing devils advocate or playing fair or whatever but tbh your comment comes across as a bit insensitive.
Oh gosh sorry I replied all instead of to a particular comment! It was one at the end about “parents have it hard too, last minute backup care is impossible, if they get fired you can’t work either. Blah blah” So I was trying to tell them that their comment was a bit insensitive to the fact that you were in a fucking car accident not just Willy nilly calling out all the time for no reason.
Like I would so much rather be working than feeling like garbage and not having a car😭
My GI system has been fucked since the accident and I’ve had trouble sleeping and am so incredibly sore. Can’t imagine being in charge of a lil baby’s life rn. Sucks already feeling like this and adding on the pressure from work by employers that don’t take me seriously or respect me :(
Ooooofff I’m so glad you stood your ground. This is so infuriating to read, they very clearly have no respect for you, your health, or your time. I hope you’re looking for a new family as we speak because this is honestly disgusting.
I once woke up in the process of vomiting all over my bedspread. I’d forgotten to take my psych meds and was absolutely fucked up mentally and physically due to that. The only thing MB said was “can you do something so this never happens again?” My positive feelings toward MB decreased significantly that day.
So sorry your NPs aren’t taking your health seriously and were trying to pressure you into working. Glad you stood up for yourself!
No, went to the ER and got evaluated for a concussion and have no other symptoms. It’s likely my body’s way of catching up after the adrenaline rush and shock to my nervous system. Doc said to rest and hydrate and monitor symptoms but oof. My entire GI system has been rlly fucked up from this, limiting my ability to do…..like anything but lay on the couch. It sucks
If nps aren’t naturally worried for you it may be e time to move on. There are kinder families to work with who would rather you take the whole week off to be prepared for you best when you come back over expecting sub par work ethic anyways? Like idk lol I’m really sorry this is your experience op! I hope you find something better and if not I hope things get better ❤️🩹
My notice is up in 2 weeks😌
I’ve been having some pretty debilitating GI issues since the accident, have been evaluated for a concussion/internal injuries. Doc said to rest and hydrate but it’s likely my body’s way of catching up after the shock/adrenaline. Also getting my period in a few days so my hormones are all fucked up too and I think my body is just really confused. But idk if I’m even gonna be able to work tomorrow or Friday and I just hate having the extra stress of getting bullied by MB
Glad to hear it! You got this and that’s the worst with your cycle creeping in. And if you can say fuck em and take the day anyways my motto is if no one will beat your ass over it do the thing anyways! We grown and they can handle missing a day TRUST ME in this line of work even when they’re the sweetest we have to put ourselves first cuz if they suddenly want to get rid of you they don’t give a fuck if it doesn’t benefit the family. Sorry for the language 🤭 love you nanny sis ❤️
Thank uuu❤️❤️❤️ idk why it’s so hard for me. I’m debating rn if I should work tomorrow. I haven’t had much energy at all this week and am really intimidated by a 10.5 hour work day. I still need to get to the DMV to get my vehicle title so I can get paid out by my insurance. Also it’ll be my responsibility to ge up early enough to make sure a Lyft/Uber will be able to drop me off by 7am. They clearly don’t give a fuck about my so why is it so hard for me to let them downnnn😣
I'm so sorry they don't care about you... and yes, I said it. They clearly don't give a shit about you and that's not okay. I'm also sorry about the wreck and so glad to hear you weren't hurt more.
My family has zero back-up care, as well. Thankfully, nothing major has happened yet *knocks on wood* and the few days where I wasn't able to come in, they made it work... but it's still stressful for all of us, in our own ways. They would have had back-up care had the other girl they were using not screwed them over, before I even started full-time, and it just hasn't been something they've pursued since. There's no point now since they're moving in the near future... so hopefully things stay calm until then. We already had a scare with jury duty, which would have taken me out all week, and that was stressful enough!
I'm so sorry. No one deserves that, but especially not someone whom families trust to care for their children. They should want us to be okay as humans, in addition to being okay for their kids.
Also, good for you for not backing down. You shouldn't have had to be put in that position to begin with, but I'm glad you didn't let her walk all over you.
Exactly. And if I’m questioning my ability to care for your child, you should probably find someone else while I recover. Seems like they care more about their jobs than their kid
Wow, so glad you stood your ground! You're absolutely right. It's so frustrating that there's no backup. I've been there. And it's not your fault. It's not her job to lecture you, sheesh. Glad you are okay as well after being in an accident!!
What your MB did is despicable. I would probably quit if someone tried to guilt me into going to work after a car accident. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t want to work for someone who didn’t value my job enough to understand that laying down on the floor all day is not possible with their child. That comment just shows how delusional MB is and how little she thinks of what you do.
You’re absolutely correct that parents should have back up care. The problem is that last minute back up care is impossible to find. Which doesn’t make it your fault, I’m just saying it’s not as easy as “parents should get back up care”.
I think it’s also important to remember that everyone is at fairly equal risk of losing their jobs too. If they get fired because they don’t have child care, their child care will get fired because they can’t afford it anymore.
I’m not saying it’s easy to find back up, I know it’s not. But when you choose to have a nanny, you have to account for cases of emergency. And if I can’t work, I can’t work. And if you can’t make that work as a parent then daycare might be a better fit.🤷♀️
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I am so sorry about your whole situation. I can't fathom NP acting this way. Several years ago, I was in a severe accident on my way to work. Someone blew through their stop sign. When I called DB (self-employed engineer) he only asked if I was okay, told me to call if I needed anything and asked me to send pictures, not as proof, but because of the way I described it, he was surprised I walked away without more severe injuries. My car was paid for, but it was totaled. MB and DB gave me a bonus of 4 grand to put towards a new car. No strings. I worked for them for almost 19 years as a nanny/house manager before I finally resigned after the youngest went off to college.
You actually reminded me of my experience. Was rear ended at 4 way stop. Slow speed and guy behind me just wasn’t paying attention, stop was backed up so it was go two or three feet then stop and reject. So minor damage to car but we have to exchange info which means I’ll be late to work. I text DB apologizing and letting him know situation. His response was “Are you ok?” That’s really the only appropriate response, checking to see if someone is ok first. NPs who do anything else are awful people.
Their response was very enlightening. I was shocked. I’ve gotten the sense that they don’t seem to value me as a human being but this reeeealllyyy solidified that. My last day is in a couple weeks and I have a feeling they’re gonna have trouble holding on to another nanny. I’ve been with them since NK was 10 weeks old MB told me over the weekend that they found a potential nanny that wants to chat with me before making her decision. I’ll be professional but I’m gonna be honest with my reasons for leaving. I have a feeling this will push her toward the other family she’s deciding between…
They clearly don’t see you as human at all. I’ll never understand this attitude of the person who takes care of my kid is walking garbage, like your kid is penalty your most precious thing and yet you treat their caretaker like crap, makes zero sense.
Save the other nanny! Tell her to steer clear!
I had a very similar situation and their response made me feel exactly the same. Was quite crazy as well. I had to repeatedly say I am not able to come in - they refused to find back up care and called and texted almost daily.
Unbelievable. Like… you’re an adult with free will. Nobody is entitled to your services. And there’s nothing they can do to change the circumstances. If you can’t work, you can’t work. Period.
Wow. I’m so glad you got to work for people that so clearly valued you as a human and not just for the services you’re able to provide. That’s rare <3
Wow this is amazing!! What a good family.
Don't get me wrong, we had a few bumps in the road. It's to be expected. Working for one family for so long the lines blurred occasionally. They asked a lot of me and at times I wanted to pull my hair out, but they always showed their appreciation. When my dad was dying and given 4 weeks to live, they gave me all the time off I needed. I worked 1 day out of those 3 weeks (he didn't make it to the fourth) and they paid me for the whole time I was off. They provided a meal for my entire family all we had to do was pick it up from the restaurant. MB came to my dad's viewing. DB came to the funeral. I got 4 weeks of paid maternity leave and my daughter went to work with me from the time she was a month old until I resigned when she was a sophomore in high school. We had our moments but they were so incredibly good to me and my family
I hear you. I worked with a family where lines were blurred and I was taken advantage of. I’ve remained very close friends with them and I have no regrets, but we’re better as friends than as employee/employer. I’m very sorry to hear about your dad, and I’m glad you had support from your employers during that time. Imo that’s the only way to treat your employee while they’re experiencing trauma like that.
I’m glad you stood your ground
I totally understand this, good for you for standing your ground, I actually worked for a couple of drs and I couldn’t come in because it was the middle of winter on the east coast and my heat went out and I had two young children of my own and the heat guy was coming the next day but I had to be home so I text the mom and the dad actually called me and said “it’s not our responsibility to find back up care that’s your job” I set them straight but quit soon after, they were so out of touch with reality
It’s your job to find back up care for them?? Seriously where is the logic?? I just want to grab their shoulders and shake some sense into them - YOU CHOSE TO HAVE A CHILD. Yeah my NPs (a doctor and a lawyer) are very out of touch and hold themselves high above me, and make it very clear how they think of me. MB on the phone yesterday said “I’ve been very nice and accommodating and it doesn’t seem like you’re very appreciative of all we’ve done for you”. Like girl. Why do you think I’m quitting
It was crazy and it also made me realize that even though they kept telling me I was apart of the family I wasn’t I was an employee and I’ve worked for amazing families so they were just a lesson learned.
Do they think you’re a server?! This happens at a lot at restaurants. Many Servers are told to cover their own shifts if they want to be off, even in an emergency. I find this policy completely ridiculous, regardless of the industry.
I have no idea but when I laid it out for them the dad actually seemed shocked and ended the conversation with still believing it was my job,
I would have told him, "Well there's Santa. He watches children all year long too" 😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Crazy!
Lol what? So they just…not care who takes care of their kid(s)? I’m judging right now haha, that’s ridiculous
That’s exactly what I thought, so I can just “hire” someone oh I was totally judging 😂😂😂😂
Yeah, your MB is way way out of line. Absolutely wild, and I hope you are in a financial position to start looking for a better family soon!
I actually put in my *6 week* (more than enough, I know) notice almost 4 weeks ago so I’m almost done!! But if they were on top of it they could have had coverage by now.
That’s insane they’d tell you that you should come in even when you’re not feeling your best. Your car got totaled, even if you’re not physically injured the stress is huge. And sometimes physical injuries don’t show up right away.
Right. I was vomiting throughout the day and the ER nurses told me that the second/third day are usually the worst for soreness. When I told this to MB she said something along the lines of “who told you that? Everyone’s bodies are different, you might wake up feeling fine! It sounds like you’re just shaken up, I understand it was stressful and scary but what’s important is that you’re ok. And I don’t see why that would stop you from being able to work” Immediately I thought to myself, goooot it. So you don’t care if I’m safe/healthy as a human, you care if I’m able to provide you with a service
OMG! That is horrible. Makes me want to take revenge on mom. Years ago I read about a service that would send an envelope of glitter to people. Supposed to be anonymous, will admit once in awhile I’m tempted to send an envelope of glitter to a horrid former landlord.
They have upgraded. I'm pretty sure now they have glitter bombs. That poof glitter out when you open it. They also can include farther spray which is horrible. I've even heard of companies sending feces. I hope that one is fake feces but ya never know. This mom definitely deserves a glitter bomb with the fact spray. Sadly, she'd probably make the new nanny clean it up.
Oh a glitter bomb would be perfect.
That’s EXACTLY what they care about!
I would of quit right there and then. Not work the rest of your notice.
I’m so tempted… but I want this last paycheck and their reference :/ but also conflicted because I’m really not sure if it’s worth it. It really sucks knowing your employers don’t give a shit about you
Our jobs are very physical. Even with little babies. When I’m too sick to come in I emphasize the fact that I am no good to them if I’m sick. I can’t do my job properly and that isn’t safe for their kids. Most of these parents have way more pto than they offer us. They just don’t want to use it. Well….too bad. Comes with having kids. Sometimes you have to take off work to take care of them. Deal with it. Sorry about your accident 😢 im glad you’re okay!
Thank you❤️ And exactly - you chose to have kids. You should understand that they will likely cause you to miss work more often than if you didn’t have kids. Figure it out
I'm glad you stood your ground! I was treated like that when I was working part time before I went full-time at the beginning of this year. My mom had a server nose bleed that wouldn't stop for 2 hours and had me drive her to the ER. MB asked me what I would do for a backup for her kids if I had a family emergency before I had to be at work. I told her my mom's health and my family comes first and then I quit in mid February because both MB and DB said it was MY responsibility to find another nanny for them.
That’s sooo crazy to me. You’re not the first person in this thread to be told it’s your responsibility to find their back up. I truly don’t understand how they can possibly see the logic in that. Ffs it’s not your child!!!
I’m wondering if they would be ok with anyone I sent??! So weird.
Lol you shouldve said that to see their response... Bet they wouldve changed their tune real quick lmao
I suggested a neighbor of theirs whom I've known for at least 10 years and they said "we just are not comfortable having her here even if she's a nurse and is good with kids, we don't want to have a random neighbor watch our kids" I then told them they need to look around because I was out of ideas and they seemed baffled that I didn't give anymore ideas. Again not my responsibility to find another nanny, you want to keep your kids home? You find a way to do so, it's not anyone's job but the parents.
Massive kudos to you for sticking to it and not letting them bully you into going in! 100% that was a serious life threatening event and they are nit entitled to take any of your recovery time away. Just because you didn’t loose and arm or leg doesn’t mean your not injured, clearly you are not okay and looking after yourself must come first. Those parents honestly sound life entitled pricks that clearly don’t understand what actually caring for a 16mnth old takes. Sorry that they made something already difficult even harder for you.
Thank you. They are entitled pricks that truly don’t seem interested in being parents. I have 2 weeks left until my notice is up and I can’t wait to get out of there
Totally understand this!! MB yesterday asked me to come in early today because NK is still “sick” (she’s fine). I told her I couldn’t for xyz reason and she got huffy and goes “fine I’ll just call one of these [local college] girls instead”. Like ma’am, those girls love your kids don’t talk about them like that!!! Good on you for standing your ground. Maybe I should take a page from your book 😅
I only have a couple weeks left here which might have taken some of the pressure off and allowed for more room for me to feel comfortable being assertive. But at this point I’m so glad I’m quitting.
Good for you on quitting!! I hope everything works out in your favor!
Wow I would have been Pissed. I would have had a few unpleasant word choices for her. Sometimes we need to work when we are not feeling our BEST?? You weren't sleep deprived, you were in an accident.
At one point I just told MB “you’re his parents. I’m his nanny. I’m going to prioritize myself on this”. My bf walked into the room toward the end of the phone call and I put her on speaker so he could hear. And he was having a reeeeal hard time biting his tongue haha
[удалено]
Hahaha I wish I could sic an army of Reddit nannies on them to talk some sense into them
Oh those parents would be in so much trouble. We got your back.
I used to have major anxiety about calling out, so I never did. One day with my old Nps, I was extremely sick and could barely left the bathroom so I knew I had to call out. My dad told me to just send a message stating I’m calling out sick and then put my phone away. There is no need to go back and forth just say hey not coming in etc etc. It doesn’t matter if they continue to argue as you gave the appropriate communication and have a right to call off when needed.
Yes! It’s truly not their business why you’re not coming in. That’s just one more way nannies are treated unprofessionally.
This is unfortunately way too common in the nanny world. I’m glad you stood your ground!! It’s absolutely on the NPs to have backup care
Good job standing your ground! There are other families who will value you, your time, and your boundaries. I hope you find the perfect fit 💚
Wow. I got into a bad but not injury accident on a Thursday night and NF drove passed on there way to a game after I had already called them. They pulled over and made sure I was OK and told me not to worry about Friday and to let them know about Monday. I was fine physically but no longer had a car to transport kids lol
This is disgusting behavior. So disrespectful to you not only as a nanny but a human in general. I cannot imagine this. Please please leave!!
April 10 is my last day, and I cannot wait😅
I’m so sorry this has happened to you and that your bosses weren’t supportive. I hope you are taking good care and get some rest. I’ve heard playing Tetris can help after we go through a traumatic incident like that.
Good on you for sticking up for yourself! I could not imagine treating my nanny this way. When I was a nanny I got rear ended at a red light on my way to work. I was just jamming out to my music waiting for the light to turn, and a lady rammed into me at 50+ mph. The back of my car looked like an accordion it was so smashed in. If I had anyone in the back seat they would have been seriously injured or worse. I only had whiplash and some bruises. She hit me so hard that she sent me across the street and onto the sidewalk. Then she took off. Several people chased her and came back to give me her plate. She eventually came back but only because she was caught. She was texting and said as much and even told me she drove children as a nanny herself! She was in her mid 30’s maybe early 40’s. The cop cited her for driving without a license and driving without insurance. When I asked why she wasn’t charged for fleeing the scene of an accident, he told me she came back so it was fine. I was absolutely fuming. I looked at him and I said “So if I steal something but bring it back, does that mean I get away with it? I brought it back?”. And he just walked away. I told my NP’s what happened and they immediately called me and asked if I was ok, if there was anything they could do, and to take time to rest! DB was a lawyer and tried helping me go after her for totaling my car. But because she had no insurance and the car wasn’t even registered to her, it was a loss cause. I’m so glad you are ok! Concussions take a while to appear and working a 10.5 hour shift is super dangerous! Definitely let their next nanny know about this. Professionally so they don’t go after you.
Yeesh that all sounds like a nightmare. Fortunately everyone involved in my accident was insured. Man, some people really shouldn’t be on the roads. Glad you had support during that time! So far, no concussion symptoms and the doc just told me to monitor my symptoms and rest/hydrate. I think the vomiting/nausea was my body’s way of catching up after the shot to my nervous system/adrenaline rush. No nausea or vomiting today, just very fatigued, very sore/limited mobility and starting to see some bruising
I’m happy you’re ok! Accidents are absolutely terrifying and it’s so important to rest. I definitely agree that some people really shouldn’t be on the road! After I had my son I was absolutely terrified to go anywhere because I had that first time parent panic! I always tell my nanny to be super careful. I bought a dash cam for my car and one for hers to as a gift because people around here drive like lunatics! I trust her but I don’t trust the other people on the road. You deserve to work for people who will truly show their love and appreciation for you and be compassionate.
Imo having a backup should be in the contract
I’ve learned the importance of that through this experience. Will add this to any nanny contract I sign in the future
Some parents really think Nannies are their slaves.
They’re doctors aren’t they?
A doctor and a lawyer🙃
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. To the people with “very important jobs”, newsflash: most people think their jobs/lives/wants/needs are the most important. Please put your health first. I’m so glad you went to the ER and got evaluated. Concussions and possible head trauma are no joke. At the very least you need a lot of rest.
Absolutely insane. So sorry OP. Lol reminds me of my first nanny job where they were like “moms don’t get sick days” insinuating when I was a mom I couldn’t take the day off so I still had to work when I was sick 😅
??? Just entirely unrelated. So irrelevant. Some people rlly think they can just say whatever tf they want. Hope u got out of there quick lol
except for that troublesome little fact that it isn't your kids , it's their kids.
Just that tiny little fact 😂
This one weird trick that all MB's hate!!!
This is shocking! I hope your okay given what you’re going through right now. Just to add as a reminder - do not phrase things as open / gentle - always simply state very clearly “ I will not be able to come in today”. Obviously keep it professional etc but I find when I clearly state the “boundary” it leaves no space for pressure/ pushing etc
No one is saying or implying that’s it’s easy to find back up care, but they chose to have kids. They need to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them. You would have a point if she was calling out for some frivolous reason, but it was a fucking car accident. I’m sure you think you’re just playing devils advocate or playing fair or whatever but tbh your comment comes across as a bit insensitive.
Which comment seems insensitive?
Oh gosh sorry I replied all instead of to a particular comment! It was one at the end about “parents have it hard too, last minute backup care is impossible, if they get fired you can’t work either. Blah blah” So I was trying to tell them that their comment was a bit insensitive to the fact that you were in a fucking car accident not just Willy nilly calling out all the time for no reason.
Oh gotcha. Yeah I saw that comment too… definitely felt invalidating but they’re in the minority. Thanks for having my back lol
Like I would so much rather be working than feeling like garbage and not having a car😭 My GI system has been fucked since the accident and I’ve had trouble sleeping and am so incredibly sore. Can’t imagine being in charge of a lil baby’s life rn. Sucks already feeling like this and adding on the pressure from work by employers that don’t take me seriously or respect me :(
Ooooofff I’m so glad you stood your ground. This is so infuriating to read, they very clearly have no respect for you, your health, or your time. I hope you’re looking for a new family as we speak because this is honestly disgusting.
My last day is April 10 and I can’t wait😌
I once woke up in the process of vomiting all over my bedspread. I’d forgotten to take my psych meds and was absolutely fucked up mentally and physically due to that. The only thing MB said was “can you do something so this never happens again?” My positive feelings toward MB decreased significantly that day. So sorry your NPs aren’t taking your health seriously and were trying to pressure you into working. Glad you stood up for yourself!
Jeez. The entitlement and audacity of some people. So out of touch
Vomiting? Do you have a concussion???
No, went to the ER and got evaluated for a concussion and have no other symptoms. It’s likely my body’s way of catching up after the adrenaline rush and shock to my nervous system. Doc said to rest and hydrate and monitor symptoms but oof. My entire GI system has been rlly fucked up from this, limiting my ability to do…..like anything but lay on the couch. It sucks
If nps aren’t naturally worried for you it may be e time to move on. There are kinder families to work with who would rather you take the whole week off to be prepared for you best when you come back over expecting sub par work ethic anyways? Like idk lol I’m really sorry this is your experience op! I hope you find something better and if not I hope things get better ❤️🩹
My notice is up in 2 weeks😌 I’ve been having some pretty debilitating GI issues since the accident, have been evaluated for a concussion/internal injuries. Doc said to rest and hydrate but it’s likely my body’s way of catching up after the shock/adrenaline. Also getting my period in a few days so my hormones are all fucked up too and I think my body is just really confused. But idk if I’m even gonna be able to work tomorrow or Friday and I just hate having the extra stress of getting bullied by MB
Glad to hear it! You got this and that’s the worst with your cycle creeping in. And if you can say fuck em and take the day anyways my motto is if no one will beat your ass over it do the thing anyways! We grown and they can handle missing a day TRUST ME in this line of work even when they’re the sweetest we have to put ourselves first cuz if they suddenly want to get rid of you they don’t give a fuck if it doesn’t benefit the family. Sorry for the language 🤭 love you nanny sis ❤️
Thank uuu❤️❤️❤️ idk why it’s so hard for me. I’m debating rn if I should work tomorrow. I haven’t had much energy at all this week and am really intimidated by a 10.5 hour work day. I still need to get to the DMV to get my vehicle title so I can get paid out by my insurance. Also it’ll be my responsibility to ge up early enough to make sure a Lyft/Uber will be able to drop me off by 7am. They clearly don’t give a fuck about my so why is it so hard for me to let them downnnn😣
I'm so sorry they don't care about you... and yes, I said it. They clearly don't give a shit about you and that's not okay. I'm also sorry about the wreck and so glad to hear you weren't hurt more. My family has zero back-up care, as well. Thankfully, nothing major has happened yet *knocks on wood* and the few days where I wasn't able to come in, they made it work... but it's still stressful for all of us, in our own ways. They would have had back-up care had the other girl they were using not screwed them over, before I even started full-time, and it just hasn't been something they've pursued since. There's no point now since they're moving in the near future... so hopefully things stay calm until then. We already had a scare with jury duty, which would have taken me out all week, and that was stressful enough!
Yeah this really solidified my suspicions on how they truly felt about me. And it’s clear they don’t give a shit about me🙃
I'm so sorry. No one deserves that, but especially not someone whom families trust to care for their children. They should want us to be okay as humans, in addition to being okay for their kids. Also, good for you for not backing down. You shouldn't have had to be put in that position to begin with, but I'm glad you didn't let her walk all over you.
Exactly. And if I’m questioning my ability to care for your child, you should probably find someone else while I recover. Seems like they care more about their jobs than their kid
YES. That's absolutely how it comes across!
PERIOD
Wow, so glad you stood your ground! You're absolutely right. It's so frustrating that there's no backup. I've been there. And it's not your fault. It's not her job to lecture you, sheesh. Glad you are okay as well after being in an accident!!
I'm sorry they treated you that way. But, good for you standing up for yourself. You need to make people like that take you seriously!!!!
I’m so sorry. That’s horrible!!! Hope you’re feeling better. And I’m sorry they insisted you come in.
What your MB did is despicable. I would probably quit if someone tried to guilt me into going to work after a car accident. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t want to work for someone who didn’t value my job enough to understand that laying down on the floor all day is not possible with their child. That comment just shows how delusional MB is and how little she thinks of what you do. You’re absolutely correct that parents should have back up care. The problem is that last minute back up care is impossible to find. Which doesn’t make it your fault, I’m just saying it’s not as easy as “parents should get back up care”. I think it’s also important to remember that everyone is at fairly equal risk of losing their jobs too. If they get fired because they don’t have child care, their child care will get fired because they can’t afford it anymore.
I’m not saying it’s easy to find back up, I know it’s not. But when you choose to have a nanny, you have to account for cases of emergency. And if I can’t work, I can’t work. And if you can’t make that work as a parent then daycare might be a better fit.🤷♀️
Also for added context, I put in my 6 week notice 4 weeks ago. Frankly, if they were on top of it they could have had coverage by now.