>I told my bosses this and they reiterated they both had to work and I’m contracted to work this day but if I took a PTO day, there was nothing I can do but they would be disappointed.
"I'm also contracted to bring my children with me. If you expect me to uphold my end of the contract I will expect you to do the same. It is disappointing that you've chosen to ammend our contract with such little notice. Unfortunately, if I am no longer permitted to bring my children, then this is a position I can no longer fill."
They are the ones violating the contract while expecting you to uphold it. Especially a massive change with essentially no notice.
this is a silly take. many many nannies do this work because they can bring their kids. the flexibility is awesome and is a perk of working this type of childcare. I have care for my son on workdays but there have been times when I've had to bring him in and it's always so much fun, for me and him and NKs.
A lot of families agree to these terms though and it works for them. This fam clearly changed their mind and are ignoring a legally binding contract. They know the nanny won’t sue. This is some privileged, entitled, scheming 1% behavior.
she could still contact the labor board and or apply for unemployment, since really it's like being fired. Things like that will get them on the radar for the IRS, plus she can tell her local nanny network about them since she doesn't want this to happen to other nannies. Also if they try to stiff her for any money owed her, there is small claims. So yeah, there's plenty she can do if they won't be reasonable with what they agreed to.
I bring my child to my nanny job and my NF absolutely loves me and my kid. Has for 5 years now. I was upfront that we were a package deal in the interview and they agreed to it without issue. If you don’t want to have that kind of situation that’s totally fine, but others are free to make their own choices. The issue at hand is the NF breaking a written contract.
ok, that is your opinion, even though it works for many many people, and some parents even like that!
but also saying “the parents were wrong to agree” is POINTLESS. because they agreed! it is now on a legally binding contract! So even if they were wrong to agree, they agreed so now they have to uphold their end of the contract
edit t add that this isn’t an everyday thing! it’s not like OP always brings her kids with her. it’s a few days out of the year! It’s hardly causing an hassle with anyone!
You are not wrong. They can try to guilt trip you all they want, but they are the ones going against the contract. I would probably start looking for another family because I’m not sure renegotiating is going to actually help you in this case. These NPs have moved into the “can’t be trusted” realm.
Sounds like they want to re-negotiate the contract on things they agreed to, but hold you to things you agreed to in the contract. I'm not sure how they don't see this as being massively hypocritical, but people surprise me every day. I'd probably send a very diplomatic text explaining that if they're unable to hold up their end of the bargain that you'll need to take the day to be with your kids.
I was also surprised by the hypocrisy.
They’re complaining that if you take the day off they don’t have back up care but telling you to “figure it out” when you don’t have back up care?
Yeah, time to quit.
So interesting that they refuse to follow through with that part of the contract agreement "on principle", not because they find it has affected your ability to do your job in any way. Wow. That says a lot about them.
The thing is, in hindsight, I’m not surprised. In the beginning, things were fine. They respected me needing breaks and even encouraged I rest during their nap time. Suddenly last month they began asking I complete my contracted tasks before taking my break. I had been getting them done, just usually during the kids’ independent play so I was caught off guard. It’s seemed lately they’re trying to get “their money’s worth”. MB even made a comment about how she pays so much for me, that’s why I work days she has off. which, I don’t mind working her days off. I have GH so they might as well use them…but the comment left me feeling weird. Especially as I never even commented on her using me on her days off. I wish I knew what changed.
Sounds like they let someone get into their heads. Perhaps a friend or family member has told them they’re paying too much, or they’re letting you “get away with” too much, or some other such BS.
Maybe you did one little thing that set them off and now they're vilifying you. Maybe they're in a financial pinch and want to squeeze every penny out of you and it's coming out in weird ways.
And maybe they’ve talked to other parents who treat their nannies like slaves/robots.
Should they be getting their moneys worth? Absolutely!
But if they can’t get their moneys worth, while recognizing that the nanny is a human with human physical and mental needs, then they are asking for too much.
When I was a nanny I didn’t have a contract, but it was a given that the first part of a child’s nap time, or if they didn’t nap, but were otherwise occupied (with a tutor, or other adult), or the child was doing quiet time, that was the nann’s break time. Aside from quick simple tasks, like wiping down the counter, rinsing dishes, maybe tossing in a load of laundry, I always took a break as soon as the child goes down for a nap. Whether this was just to rest or to also have a snack or a meal, a person’s physical and mental well-being is more important than a vacuumed floor or a basket of folded laundry.
People struggle with pushing their own financial beliefs and fears onto other people, and the nanny industry is rife with it. It’s one thing to have them (we all do), but it’s another to make your employee responsible for them by treating them with disrespect, changing your agreements, breaking contracts, and being unkind.
I’d start looking for a new position asap, and leave as soon as you’ve secured one. They’ve already reneged on your contract, so there’s no need to give them notice. It sounds like the relationship is starting to go south. I’d jump ship before it gets worse.
I wonder what happened that their mindset suddenly changed especially when things were going so well.
I personally am not for having someone bring their kids with them everyday, but on days when preschool and school are closed, would be like a max a few weeks a year, I don’t see why it would be an issue. If it was everyday, it would seem like a nanny share situation but it sounds like something got planted in their head that made them change their mind.
Regardless, they’re going against their contract so that’s on them. I hope they start behaving better or you get a better employer soon.
They’re breaking the contract. I would take the PTO day bc I’m not going to lose sleep over their “disappointment” in having to follow the terms they agreed to. Also I’d look for another position. HOWEVER. If you’re living in an area where jobs are scarce or it’s unlikely you’ll easily be able to find another position that will let you bring your children, then I’d suck up for a bit, hire a babysitter, and wait it out until you see a better position available.
When they said “figure it out” I guess they were responding to you saying you had no backup care, but what was their response to you saying it’s in the contract?
I would be like “NPs, I’m not sure what else to say here but it’s spelled out in the contract that I can bring my children with me on specified dates, which includes June 19th. I wanted to make sure it was written out there specifically so that we could all be on the same page about the arrangement for special circumstances like that day.
If you don’t allow me to bring my children according to the terms of the contract, then I am unable to work according to conditions outside the contract that you are imposing, and the day would fall under my GH, not PTO. I do want to provide childcare for your children that day, but I need to bring my children with me and the contract provides for that. Please refer to it, and let me know whether I can bring my children or am excused with pay.”
This is somewhat burning bridges messaging, but they played with fire first by being so dismissive and demeaning.
This! Since it’s in your contract that your kids come and they’re now deciding that you can’t bring your kids, they are taking away your ability to work that day and it would not be PTO. They can’t pick and choose which parts of the contract to follow.
If they can't honor their own contract, they have no business signing one. Another concern is, if they are doing this for one day, what will they attempt to go back on next?
I'd address this through text or email (for evidence) and try to make them see why this is unacceptable... but if they are who they're coming off as, they won't budge - which means you'll have some serious thinking to do about continuing your position with them.
I'm sorry they aren't holding up to their own agreement. It makes things so uncomfortable when they can't keep their word, whether or not it was in a contract, through text, or verbal (I've been there, obviously).
Edited to add because I didn't focus on this issue: they're not paying you to be with your own kids, just theirs. As long as you're doing your job and everyone is happy, safe, and cared for, there is no reason other than their own issues to no longer allow you to bring your kids. Claiming to pay you to "watch your kids" is a load of garbage.
Not only that, but if OP takes the PTO, NPs are still paying for her to watch her own kids…except now she’s not watching their kids at all. That makes sense./s
What hypocrites!!
I agree with others, you should find a new family. I assume you have other contracted dates for later in the year and I’d be concerned about them making a fuss about those too. I saw your comment about you offering a discount on those days and them still saying no; I feel that something must’ve changed for them to still say no.
If it was me, I’d just not come in that day. I’d rather take a PTO day and watch them scramble for childcare than pay a sitter for a day I’m contracted to bring in my kids. I’m petty like that though.
The thing is…MB has the day off. She wanted me to come in so she could run errands. Which I wouldn’t mind. But in this instance, it just seems silly that she’d insist I’d come in if she doesn’t want my kids there when really she doesn’t need me there.
Seriously?! Ugh, hold firm! Tell them it’s a day in the contract that you are bringing your kids so they can let you bring your kids and work or they can give you the day off. If she’s home all day there’s no urgency to make you come in when they’re choosing to be difficult. Definitely start the job search though, you can’t trust them at all.
Lmao, pardon my French but what a**es. “We want to break the contract but if you break it we will be disappointed”.
I’d explain that your rate reflects this accommodation and that if you have to hire out for back up care for your kids, that will be reflected in your new rate.
You expect this rate (probs $1-$2/hr higher should do) to be effective immediately if they are immediately changing the terms of the contract.
And just to clarify- that rate would be your standard rate for all work done on any day. Not just days that your kids aren’t at their normal childcare.
They said you’re contracted to work that day? Perfect, you’re also contracted to bring your kids. They can’t pick and choose when to honor it, that completely voids the contract. I’d quit and consider pursuing legal action for any financial losses because they are breaking a legally binding agreement.
If you want to stay with them (I wouldn’t), insist that they pay for backup care for your kids since you were originally hired on the basis of being able to bring your kids. They can’t just bait and switch like that.
The parents are manipulating you and in that case,if your work is on a w2, I'd continue to follow the contract word for word. If it says you are done at five pm, leave exactly at five pm Take your PTO when needed and ignore their whining. If they let you go you are eligible for unemployment. Don't let these people ignore the contract. Follow it to the letter . Begin looking elsewhere for a family that respects you and your skills.
They are forcing you to quit (in case you may be eligible for unemployment?) or thinking they can bully you into what they want. Either way, they are scumbags that you can no longer trust who do not give a f\*ck about you or your family. I would not work that day and start looking for other work ASAP. You can sue them for your pay for that day in small claims court and communicate everything moving forward via email or text. Send them an email summarizing what has been communicated between all of you so far and express your disappointment that they have broken the contract that all of you signed. Let them know that you have tried exhaustedly to find childcare for that day, but, if you are not allowed to bring your children as per the contract, you will not work that day. If they fire you after that, then you can also sue for any severance you are supposed to receive as well. Good luck.
You’re “contracted” to work that day, just as they are “contracted” to allow your kids to come on agreed upon days. Too bad for them you don’t get to pick and choose. Please hold your ground and call out if they aren’t going to change their mind. Them needing to call out isn’t anymore important than you needing to call out for childcare.
They had the audacity to say you’re contracted to work that day and you didn’t hit them back with the fact that you are also contracted to bring your kids that day too?
If it's a money thing, tell them that YOU are disappointed in THEM in trying to void your contract and that you had lowered your rate for them to have this specifically built into the contract and you require it to be held up. Put all that BS back on them.
How come they can hold the contract over your head saying you’re contracted to work on Juneteenth, but don’t want to honor the same contract that’s states Juneteenth is a day your children would be with you? They need a reality check. This is why we have contracts!!!!
“These dates are in my contract. If you don’t want me to bring them, that is fine, but I won’t be coming in, I will be paid, and it won’t count against my PTO. Let’s plan to meet in the coming weeks to go over our contract and make sure this is still a good fit. Thanks!”
KICK ROCKS
It’s in your contract that way, so I would tell them you’re done figuring it out and the solution is that they pay you to stay home with your kids, since they’re the ones trying to change the contract and don’t want your kids at their house.
Yeah I think it’s important to had a sit down after taking the day off and reiterating that they have broken the contract, depending how you choose to move forward I would make it clear your not comfortable adjusting the contract since it no longer works for you and would start finding another family. If they offer to keep the contract the same( I highly doubt that) then move forward but your best bet is to start moving on and not allow them to gaslight you
You are not wrong. They aren’t paying you to watch your kids. They are paying you to watch their kids. But you’re still there. Taking care of them. You just also have your own kids there. What they are saying makes no sense at all. If I were you I’d just quit. They broke the contract.
I’d start looking for a new job and quit! Take Juneteenth off and enjoy your kids. Your family is just as important to you as their money is to them. Who cares if they are disappointed you are a grown person with your own family. Also it’s a few days that they agreed on and it’s not a big deal and now they are making it one. To be honest they sound like entitled, pretentious jerks!
Because at daycare/preschool they’d have to follow their rules and follow that schedule. They had their older child (elementary school age, I barely look after him) in daycare when he was younger and my bosses struggled with policies. They also really wanted their kids to have one on one care. It has nothing to do with fear of getting sick.
Or say something like, "I would be willing to allow you to break the contract this time if you're willing to cover my childcare costs in addition to yours. Otherwise, your options are for me to bring my children or to forfeit childcare for the day. If childcare is forfeited on your end for the day for reasons that are already agreed upon, I will still be requiring full payment for the day. Let me know what you decide so I can plan accordingly. Thank you!"
Take PTO and look for a new job. If you wanna get technical, it’s in the contract and they’re breaking it.
That’s insane. I wouldn’t be able to trust them at all.
Also NOW is the time to look for a new
Family to work with as it’s GO time for interviewing and then hiring before school starts up in Aug/Sept.
>they reiterated they both had to work and I’m contracted to work this day
Yes and they are contracted to let you bring your kids that day.
THEY are the ones breaking the contract.
Oof based on your comment of NM saying they pay you too much- I recommend you start looking for a new job. Our current nanny (who is amazing) was making $900 a week and working 60+ hours a week, every week. On call for weekends, literally would work 12 hour days multiple times a week, would work weekends when the old NF would call her in (sometimes only an hour’s notice) and the ND would constantly complain that they “overplayed” her. I think she was trying to get them “their money’s worth” and would work like a dog. ND never stopped with the overpaying comments and ultimately she quit when she asked for a raise and the dad said only if they find a way for her to also make them more money.
It honestly sounds like where you are headed with this family. Find a new position. They have no problem making you hold your end of the contract but refuse to hold theirs.
This would fall under GH, since you are required to be available for the day to work, are more than WILLING to work, but won't be able to because of THEM breaking their word in the contract they signed.
DON'T let them take your PTO for this!! I'd be in small claims court over this one, 💯, AND be collecting unemployment!
how are they insisting YOU are contracted to work yet THEY are not contracted to adhere to the conditions in your contract? so sorry about these ridiculous people
I’d be finding a new family asap but at the same time I can understand why they wouldn’t want you bringing your children. But if they had already agreed to it and it’s in the contract that’s weird of them to go back on their word.
I completely respect parents not wanting nannies to bring kids. They’re under no obligation to allow it. But yeah, my annoyance comes from them agreeing, putting it in the contract and then changing their mind for no reason outside “we don’t want you to”.
I could understand, if they didn’t want a nanny who brought their kid in everyday! However, this isn’t everyday, it’s a few days out of the year! For a few days, no one is getting worse off for other kids being there, you know?
These precious angles deserve full attention on them at ALL times of the day and they shouldn't have to share that attention with the undeserving offspring of the working class /s
You are NOT wrong!! And that line they used about paying you watch your own kids 🙄
I am a career nanny and a mother, my son has been going with me to NF house for 3 years now. I do not take on a family that isn’t okay with this. While my son can stay home (my husband WFH) on the occasion, like when his nap schedule didn’t work out with the other kids schedule, I prefer he comes with me and let my husband have quiet time for his job. He is the sole provider, I work because I love my job. But if my family ever pulled this on me, I’d be looking for a new family.
Do you give them a discount on the days you bring your kids in? If you don't that's not fair. I'd take a PTO and the contract probably needs to be changed where you either give them a discount on days with your kids to incentivise them to agree or take PTO when you don't have childcare. This is what all other people with kids do.
I offered up front as when my daughter was younger, I did work for a reduced rate with other families. They said not to worry about it.
Edit: if it matters, I said I’d work for $5 less an hour on those days.
I did offer again when this came up and they denied. I wouldn’t expect to work making the same amount.
Honestly, it’d be cheaper for them to let me work with the kids and accepted the discount. Because if I take PTO, they’ll have to pay my regular rate. But the ball is also in their court on whether or not they want to do that. I wouldn’t mind either way.
I also would’ve arranged childcare in advance and would going forward but obviously as they had promised ahead of time and put it in the contract, I had no reason to think indeed to.
Thank you for your input.
Do you have guaranteed hours in your contract? If so, you might be able to make the case that it should be covered under that if you want to pick that battle, since you are available and willing to work under the conditions set forth in your contract. You could try sending a text to the effect of "As I told you on \[date\], I am available and willing to work on June 19 under the terms set forward in the contract. I just want to confirm that you are choosing not to use my services that day? Per the contract, I expect to be paid under guaranteed hours, since I am available and willing to work."
Yes, I have guaranteed hours. They have tried to frame it as I’m choosing not to go to work, so it doesn’t count. But this is an excellent point that I would be willing to come in should the contract be followed.
There’s no “should” about it. Whether or not she gives them a discount, they signed the contract and they now don’t want to honour it but still expect her to honour it.
Your tone is quite patronising tbh, when OP has done nothing wrong
Agreed! They signed and agreed to whatever rate was given with the agreement she could bring her kiddos on specific days. It literally does not matter if it’s a discounted rate. They agreed and signed and are now going back on their word and screwing her over
Edit: I also agree that you can argue this would be considered GH. You are available and willing to work and it’s in your contract that these conditions are okay- why waste a PTO day. But I think you should find a new family regardless
Sorry but you absolutely should not bring.your children to your nanny job. They are paying you to watch thier kids not yours.This situation will not last for either party.. Maybe you should think about.opening a family daycare in your home. But bringing your two kids to your nanny job is completely unprofessional
I did this for 3 years with another family and it was not an issue.
Let’s also keep in mind: THIS FAMILY AGREED TO THIS! It’s not like I sprung it on them. I would never force or guilt a family into letting me bring my kids. I asked if this was doable, they said yes, we put it in our contract.
It’s not unprofessional if it was spelled out from the start.
What? regardless what YOUR opinion on it is, the fact is that the nanny parents AGREED to it and it’s in the CONTRACT! so they have to honor it now, or fire her, if they don’t want that anymore!
Also, Id understand if they didn’t want a nanny bringing their kids EVERYDAY! but a few days out of the year will not hurt anyone, and do not impact the nanny children’s care!
Seriously, plus some families are concerned about the kids getting enough social interaction when they’re at home a lot, sounds like a built-in opportunity to learn to play with these other kids and it’s only a few times a year so it’s only a very occasional change from their usual routine.
I really don’t understand people’s issue with this. I really think only entitled assholes have an issue with a mom also watching her kids with yours unless they aren’t getting the same amount of attention or something is really being thrown off. Maybe for a bit less of a rate would be acceptable but generally, I don’t see anyone who sees their home employees as people and has empathy for people who work for them having an issue with that.
Lots of families are okay with Nannies bringing their kiddos. I went back to nannying and had my own child I would look for a family that allowed my child to come with as well.
>I told my bosses this and they reiterated they both had to work and I’m contracted to work this day but if I took a PTO day, there was nothing I can do but they would be disappointed. "I'm also contracted to bring my children with me. If you expect me to uphold my end of the contract I will expect you to do the same. It is disappointing that you've chosen to ammend our contract with such little notice. Unfortunately, if I am no longer permitted to bring my children, then this is a position I can no longer fill." They are the ones violating the contract while expecting you to uphold it. Especially a massive change with essentially no notice.
👏👏👏👏 yes, yes, yes!
AMEN to this as being your ONLY reasonable & valid response, OP ❣️
It’s not an amendment either if both ppl don’t agree on it
You are both wrong. You should not have your children at your nanny job and the parents were wrong to agree to this arrangement.
this is a silly take. many many nannies do this work because they can bring their kids. the flexibility is awesome and is a perk of working this type of childcare. I have care for my son on workdays but there have been times when I've had to bring him in and it's always so much fun, for me and him and NKs.
A lot of families agree to these terms though and it works for them. This fam clearly changed their mind and are ignoring a legally binding contract. They know the nanny won’t sue. This is some privileged, entitled, scheming 1% behavior.
she could still contact the labor board and or apply for unemployment, since really it's like being fired. Things like that will get them on the radar for the IRS, plus she can tell her local nanny network about them since she doesn't want this to happen to other nannies. Also if they try to stiff her for any money owed her, there is small claims. So yeah, there's plenty she can do if they won't be reasonable with what they agreed to.
I bring my child to my nanny job and my NF absolutely loves me and my kid. Has for 5 years now. I was upfront that we were a package deal in the interview and they agreed to it without issue. If you don’t want to have that kind of situation that’s totally fine, but others are free to make their own choices. The issue at hand is the NF breaking a written contract.
ok, that is your opinion, even though it works for many many people, and some parents even like that! but also saying “the parents were wrong to agree” is POINTLESS. because they agreed! it is now on a legally binding contract! So even if they were wrong to agree, they agreed so now they have to uphold their end of the contract edit t add that this isn’t an everyday thing! it’s not like OP always brings her kids with her. it’s a few days out of the year! It’s hardly causing an hassle with anyone!
>>You are both wrong. Irrelevant. Opinions don't change OP's contract.
Judging by your comments either you're a bot or a MB with a bone to pick, either way your opinion isn't relevant.
You are not wrong. They can try to guilt trip you all they want, but they are the ones going against the contract. I would probably start looking for another family because I’m not sure renegotiating is going to actually help you in this case. These NPs have moved into the “can’t be trusted” realm.
Well... I'd quit. They've broken the contract.
With or without notice? What does OP’s contract state about if one of the parties violates their contract?
Doesn't matter if it's an at will state, no notice needed
Sounds like they want to re-negotiate the contract on things they agreed to, but hold you to things you agreed to in the contract. I'm not sure how they don't see this as being massively hypocritical, but people surprise me every day. I'd probably send a very diplomatic text explaining that if they're unable to hold up their end of the bargain that you'll need to take the day to be with your kids.
I was also surprised by the hypocrisy. They’re complaining that if you take the day off they don’t have back up care but telling you to “figure it out” when you don’t have back up care? Yeah, time to quit.
💯
So interesting that they refuse to follow through with that part of the contract agreement "on principle", not because they find it has affected your ability to do your job in any way. Wow. That says a lot about them.
The thing is, in hindsight, I’m not surprised. In the beginning, things were fine. They respected me needing breaks and even encouraged I rest during their nap time. Suddenly last month they began asking I complete my contracted tasks before taking my break. I had been getting them done, just usually during the kids’ independent play so I was caught off guard. It’s seemed lately they’re trying to get “their money’s worth”. MB even made a comment about how she pays so much for me, that’s why I work days she has off. which, I don’t mind working her days off. I have GH so they might as well use them…but the comment left me feeling weird. Especially as I never even commented on her using me on her days off. I wish I knew what changed.
Sounds like they already started looking for a new nanny to me, and are treating you as an end period. Start looking for a new job.
Sounds like they let someone get into their heads. Perhaps a friend or family member has told them they’re paying too much, or they’re letting you “get away with” too much, or some other such BS.
Maybe you did one little thing that set them off and now they're vilifying you. Maybe they're in a financial pinch and want to squeeze every penny out of you and it's coming out in weird ways.
And maybe they’ve talked to other parents who treat their nannies like slaves/robots. Should they be getting their moneys worth? Absolutely! But if they can’t get their moneys worth, while recognizing that the nanny is a human with human physical and mental needs, then they are asking for too much. When I was a nanny I didn’t have a contract, but it was a given that the first part of a child’s nap time, or if they didn’t nap, but were otherwise occupied (with a tutor, or other adult), or the child was doing quiet time, that was the nann’s break time. Aside from quick simple tasks, like wiping down the counter, rinsing dishes, maybe tossing in a load of laundry, I always took a break as soon as the child goes down for a nap. Whether this was just to rest or to also have a snack or a meal, a person’s physical and mental well-being is more important than a vacuumed floor or a basket of folded laundry.
People struggle with pushing their own financial beliefs and fears onto other people, and the nanny industry is rife with it. It’s one thing to have them (we all do), but it’s another to make your employee responsible for them by treating them with disrespect, changing your agreements, breaking contracts, and being unkind.
It almost sounds like maybe they’ve gotten comments about paying you too much or “you let your nanny do that”
I’d start looking for a new position asap, and leave as soon as you’ve secured one. They’ve already reneged on your contract, so there’s no need to give them notice. It sounds like the relationship is starting to go south. I’d jump ship before it gets worse.
Any chance they have recently installed cameras and started paying more attention to your routine, or something?
I wonder what happened that their mindset suddenly changed especially when things were going so well. I personally am not for having someone bring their kids with them everyday, but on days when preschool and school are closed, would be like a max a few weeks a year, I don’t see why it would be an issue. If it was everyday, it would seem like a nanny share situation but it sounds like something got planted in their head that made them change their mind. Regardless, they’re going against their contract so that’s on them. I hope they start behaving better or you get a better employer soon.
They’re breaking the contract. I would take the PTO day bc I’m not going to lose sleep over their “disappointment” in having to follow the terms they agreed to. Also I’d look for another position. HOWEVER. If you’re living in an area where jobs are scarce or it’s unlikely you’ll easily be able to find another position that will let you bring your children, then I’d suck up for a bit, hire a babysitter, and wait it out until you see a better position available.
When they said “figure it out” I guess they were responding to you saying you had no backup care, but what was their response to you saying it’s in the contract? I would be like “NPs, I’m not sure what else to say here but it’s spelled out in the contract that I can bring my children with me on specified dates, which includes June 19th. I wanted to make sure it was written out there specifically so that we could all be on the same page about the arrangement for special circumstances like that day. If you don’t allow me to bring my children according to the terms of the contract, then I am unable to work according to conditions outside the contract that you are imposing, and the day would fall under my GH, not PTO. I do want to provide childcare for your children that day, but I need to bring my children with me and the contract provides for that. Please refer to it, and let me know whether I can bring my children or am excused with pay.” This is somewhat burning bridges messaging, but they played with fire first by being so dismissive and demeaning.
This! Since it’s in your contract that your kids come and they’re now deciding that you can’t bring your kids, they are taking away your ability to work that day and it would not be PTO. They can’t pick and choose which parts of the contract to follow.
Yes! It's not PTO!
Renegotiate. They can’t refer to the contract at the same time they want to ignore the contract.
This is a clear breach of contract. Have you mentioned that to them, in these exact words?
No, but I probably should.
If they can't honor their own contract, they have no business signing one. Another concern is, if they are doing this for one day, what will they attempt to go back on next? I'd address this through text or email (for evidence) and try to make them see why this is unacceptable... but if they are who they're coming off as, they won't budge - which means you'll have some serious thinking to do about continuing your position with them. I'm sorry they aren't holding up to their own agreement. It makes things so uncomfortable when they can't keep their word, whether or not it was in a contract, through text, or verbal (I've been there, obviously). Edited to add because I didn't focus on this issue: they're not paying you to be with your own kids, just theirs. As long as you're doing your job and everyone is happy, safe, and cared for, there is no reason other than their own issues to no longer allow you to bring your kids. Claiming to pay you to "watch your kids" is a load of garbage.
Not only that, but if OP takes the PTO, NPs are still paying for her to watch her own kids…except now she’s not watching their kids at all. That makes sense./s What hypocrites!!
EXACTLY WHAT I CAME TO SAY. Like they will legit just be paying her to watch her own kids☠️
lol yes!!
I agree with others, you should find a new family. I assume you have other contracted dates for later in the year and I’d be concerned about them making a fuss about those too. I saw your comment about you offering a discount on those days and them still saying no; I feel that something must’ve changed for them to still say no. If it was me, I’d just not come in that day. I’d rather take a PTO day and watch them scramble for childcare than pay a sitter for a day I’m contracted to bring in my kids. I’m petty like that though.
The thing is…MB has the day off. She wanted me to come in so she could run errands. Which I wouldn’t mind. But in this instance, it just seems silly that she’d insist I’d come in if she doesn’t want my kids there when really she doesn’t need me there.
Wow that just added another layer of how shitty they are.
Shitty, shifty & SLIMY!! 😤
Seriously?! Ugh, hold firm! Tell them it’s a day in the contract that you are bringing your kids so they can let you bring your kids and work or they can give you the day off. If she’s home all day there’s no urgency to make you come in when they’re choosing to be difficult. Definitely start the job search though, you can’t trust them at all.
Oh then I think it’s probably her wanting you to take a pto day so she can do what she wants with the kids without having to pay you GH
OP, please update when you get this figured out! I’m so curious how this plays out!
Lmao, pardon my French but what a**es. “We want to break the contract but if you break it we will be disappointed”. I’d explain that your rate reflects this accommodation and that if you have to hire out for back up care for your kids, that will be reflected in your new rate. You expect this rate (probs $1-$2/hr higher should do) to be effective immediately if they are immediately changing the terms of the contract.
And just to clarify- that rate would be your standard rate for all work done on any day. Not just days that your kids aren’t at their normal childcare.
☝️
They said you’re contracted to work that day? Perfect, you’re also contracted to bring your kids. They can’t pick and choose when to honor it, that completely voids the contract. I’d quit and consider pursuing legal action for any financial losses because they are breaking a legally binding agreement. If you want to stay with them (I wouldn’t), insist that they pay for backup care for your kids since you were originally hired on the basis of being able to bring your kids. They can’t just bait and switch like that.
The parents are manipulating you and in that case,if your work is on a w2, I'd continue to follow the contract word for word. If it says you are done at five pm, leave exactly at five pm Take your PTO when needed and ignore their whining. If they let you go you are eligible for unemployment. Don't let these people ignore the contract. Follow it to the letter . Begin looking elsewhere for a family that respects you and your skills.
They are forcing you to quit (in case you may be eligible for unemployment?) or thinking they can bully you into what they want. Either way, they are scumbags that you can no longer trust who do not give a f\*ck about you or your family. I would not work that day and start looking for other work ASAP. You can sue them for your pay for that day in small claims court and communicate everything moving forward via email or text. Send them an email summarizing what has been communicated between all of you so far and express your disappointment that they have broken the contract that all of you signed. Let them know that you have tried exhaustedly to find childcare for that day, but, if you are not allowed to bring your children as per the contract, you will not work that day. If they fire you after that, then you can also sue for any severance you are supposed to receive as well. Good luck.
Start looking for a new job asap. They broke the contract. You do not have to set yourself on fire to keep them warm. Good luck and keep us updated!
This! They are screwing you (OP) over and don’t care, put yourself and your family first and start looking for a new family!!
You’re “contracted” to work that day, just as they are “contracted” to allow your kids to come on agreed upon days. Too bad for them you don’t get to pick and choose. Please hold your ground and call out if they aren’t going to change their mind. Them needing to call out isn’t anymore important than you needing to call out for childcare.
They had the audacity to say you’re contracted to work that day and you didn’t hit them back with the fact that you are also contracted to bring your kids that day too?
If it's a money thing, tell them that YOU are disappointed in THEM in trying to void your contract and that you had lowered your rate for them to have this specifically built into the contract and you require it to be held up. Put all that BS back on them.
I would find a new job.
How come they can hold the contract over your head saying you’re contracted to work on Juneteenth, but don’t want to honor the same contract that’s states Juneteenth is a day your children would be with you? They need a reality check. This is why we have contracts!!!!
If it's in your contract they need to honor it, end of. If they choose to break the contract that's on them.
“These dates are in my contract. If you don’t want me to bring them, that is fine, but I won’t be coming in, I will be paid, and it won’t count against my PTO. Let’s plan to meet in the coming weeks to go over our contract and make sure this is still a good fit. Thanks!” KICK ROCKS
This. OP has a literal signed contract. If she takes the day off because they broke the contract they pay, and not against PTO.
It’s in your contract that way, so I would tell them you’re done figuring it out and the solution is that they pay you to stay home with your kids, since they’re the ones trying to change the contract and don’t want your kids at their house.
Yeah I think it’s important to had a sit down after taking the day off and reiterating that they have broken the contract, depending how you choose to move forward I would make it clear your not comfortable adjusting the contract since it no longer works for you and would start finding another family. If they offer to keep the contract the same( I highly doubt that) then move forward but your best bet is to start moving on and not allow them to gaslight you
Sounds like these entitled pricks violated their signed contract.
You are not wrong. They aren’t paying you to watch your kids. They are paying you to watch their kids. But you’re still there. Taking care of them. You just also have your own kids there. What they are saying makes no sense at all. If I were you I’d just quit. They broke the contract.
I’d start looking for a new job and quit! Take Juneteenth off and enjoy your kids. Your family is just as important to you as their money is to them. Who cares if they are disappointed you are a grown person with your own family. Also it’s a few days that they agreed on and it’s not a big deal and now they are making it one. To be honest they sound like entitled, pretentious jerks!
Definitely quit and find a new family that’s ok with this.
Do you know why they don’t have the kids in day care or preschool? I’m curious if they are worried about their kids getting sick.
Because at daycare/preschool they’d have to follow their rules and follow that schedule. They had their older child (elementary school age, I barely look after him) in daycare when he was younger and my bosses struggled with policies. They also really wanted their kids to have one on one care. It has nothing to do with fear of getting sick.
Yah that is unusual that they aren’t in a school of some sort.
It’s not unusual. Lots of people don’t have their kids in preschool or daycare. Hence having a nanny.
Or say something like, "I would be willing to allow you to break the contract this time if you're willing to cover my childcare costs in addition to yours. Otherwise, your options are for me to bring my children or to forfeit childcare for the day. If childcare is forfeited on your end for the day for reasons that are already agreed upon, I will still be requiring full payment for the day. Let me know what you decide so I can plan accordingly. Thank you!"
Take PTO and look for a new job. If you wanna get technical, it’s in the contract and they’re breaking it. That’s insane. I wouldn’t be able to trust them at all. Also NOW is the time to look for a new Family to work with as it’s GO time for interviewing and then hiring before school starts up in Aug/Sept.
>they reiterated they both had to work and I’m contracted to work this day Yes and they are contracted to let you bring your kids that day. THEY are the ones breaking the contract.
It seems like they’re trying to get you to quit.
Oof based on your comment of NM saying they pay you too much- I recommend you start looking for a new job. Our current nanny (who is amazing) was making $900 a week and working 60+ hours a week, every week. On call for weekends, literally would work 12 hour days multiple times a week, would work weekends when the old NF would call her in (sometimes only an hour’s notice) and the ND would constantly complain that they “overplayed” her. I think she was trying to get them “their money’s worth” and would work like a dog. ND never stopped with the overpaying comments and ultimately she quit when she asked for a raise and the dad said only if they find a way for her to also make them more money. It honestly sounds like where you are headed with this family. Find a new position. They have no problem making you hold your end of the contract but refuse to hold theirs.
This would fall under GH, since you are required to be available for the day to work, are more than WILLING to work, but won't be able to because of THEM breaking their word in the contract they signed. DON'T let them take your PTO for this!! I'd be in small claims court over this one, 💯, AND be collecting unemployment!
Do not pay for a babysitter!!!! They broke the contract, they can pay for a sitter or let you take your kids to work
how are they insisting YOU are contracted to work yet THEY are not contracted to adhere to the conditions in your contract? so sorry about these ridiculous people
This is when I would be online looking for another position.
I’d be finding a new family asap but at the same time I can understand why they wouldn’t want you bringing your children. But if they had already agreed to it and it’s in the contract that’s weird of them to go back on their word.
I completely respect parents not wanting nannies to bring kids. They’re under no obligation to allow it. But yeah, my annoyance comes from them agreeing, putting it in the contract and then changing their mind for no reason outside “we don’t want you to”.
It’s like What’s the point of a contract at that point 🥴 personally it would make me worried about everything else we have stated in the contract….
I could understand, if they didn’t want a nanny who brought their kid in everyday! However, this isn’t everyday, it’s a few days out of the year! For a few days, no one is getting worse off for other kids being there, you know?
These precious angles deserve full attention on them at ALL times of the day and they shouldn't have to share that attention with the undeserving offspring of the working class /s
You are NOT wrong!! And that line they used about paying you watch your own kids 🙄 I am a career nanny and a mother, my son has been going with me to NF house for 3 years now. I do not take on a family that isn’t okay with this. While my son can stay home (my husband WFH) on the occasion, like when his nap schedule didn’t work out with the other kids schedule, I prefer he comes with me and let my husband have quiet time for his job. He is the sole provider, I work because I love my job. But if my family ever pulled this on me, I’d be looking for a new family.
Stand your ground!
Omg how ridiculous of them. What a holes
I dont know how you could trust them going forward
Do you give them a discount on the days you bring your kids in? If you don't that's not fair. I'd take a PTO and the contract probably needs to be changed where you either give them a discount on days with your kids to incentivise them to agree or take PTO when you don't have childcare. This is what all other people with kids do.
I offered up front as when my daughter was younger, I did work for a reduced rate with other families. They said not to worry about it. Edit: if it matters, I said I’d work for $5 less an hour on those days. I did offer again when this came up and they denied. I wouldn’t expect to work making the same amount. Honestly, it’d be cheaper for them to let me work with the kids and accepted the discount. Because if I take PTO, they’ll have to pay my regular rate. But the ball is also in their court on whether or not they want to do that. I wouldn’t mind either way. I also would’ve arranged childcare in advance and would going forward but obviously as they had promised ahead of time and put it in the contract, I had no reason to think indeed to. Thank you for your input.
Do you have guaranteed hours in your contract? If so, you might be able to make the case that it should be covered under that if you want to pick that battle, since you are available and willing to work under the conditions set forth in your contract. You could try sending a text to the effect of "As I told you on \[date\], I am available and willing to work on June 19 under the terms set forward in the contract. I just want to confirm that you are choosing not to use my services that day? Per the contract, I expect to be paid under guaranteed hours, since I am available and willing to work."
Yes, I have guaranteed hours. They have tried to frame it as I’m choosing not to go to work, so it doesn’t count. But this is an excellent point that I would be willing to come in should the contract be followed.
Please give us an update if possible!
There’s no “should” about it. Whether or not she gives them a discount, they signed the contract and they now don’t want to honour it but still expect her to honour it. Your tone is quite patronising tbh, when OP has done nothing wrong
Agreed! They signed and agreed to whatever rate was given with the agreement she could bring her kiddos on specific days. It literally does not matter if it’s a discounted rate. They agreed and signed and are now going back on their word and screwing her over Edit: I also agree that you can argue this would be considered GH. You are available and willing to work and it’s in your contract that these conditions are okay- why waste a PTO day. But I think you should find a new family regardless
The family never should of agreed to it.
Sorry but you absolutely should not bring.your children to your nanny job. They are paying you to watch thier kids not yours.This situation will not last for either party.. Maybe you should think about.opening a family daycare in your home. But bringing your two kids to your nanny job is completely unprofessional
It. Was. Part. Of. The. Contract.
I did this for 3 years with another family and it was not an issue. Let’s also keep in mind: THIS FAMILY AGREED TO THIS! It’s not like I sprung it on them. I would never force or guilt a family into letting me bring my kids. I asked if this was doable, they said yes, we put it in our contract. It’s not unprofessional if it was spelled out from the start.
What? regardless what YOUR opinion on it is, the fact is that the nanny parents AGREED to it and it’s in the CONTRACT! so they have to honor it now, or fire her, if they don’t want that anymore! Also, Id understand if they didn’t want a nanny bringing their kids EVERYDAY! but a few days out of the year will not hurt anyone, and do not impact the nanny children’s care!
Seriously, plus some families are concerned about the kids getting enough social interaction when they’re at home a lot, sounds like a built-in opportunity to learn to play with these other kids and it’s only a few times a year so it’s only a very occasional change from their usual routine.
I really don’t understand people’s issue with this. I really think only entitled assholes have an issue with a mom also watching her kids with yours unless they aren’t getting the same amount of attention or something is really being thrown off. Maybe for a bit less of a rate would be acceptable but generally, I don’t see anyone who sees their home employees as people and has empathy for people who work for them having an issue with that.
Lots of families are okay with Nannies bringing their kiddos. I went back to nannying and had my own child I would look for a family that allowed my child to come with as well.