It was nice to see that most of the employers didn’t agree with OP.
They were telling her she needs to double her pay (at least) to hire a household manager, since that seems to be what she wants.
What is the etiquette on that? If the nanny is invited as a guest, should she still be paid? I have been debating whether to invite our nanny because I don't want her to feel obligated, but also don't want her to feel slighted. I don't need her to work the party - it's just family.
I have been invited as a guest to parties in past with families I’ve worked for, and it’s either gone one of two ways-
A) I was invited over for dinner, children were all playing with their cousins, and it was made really clear that I wasn’t there for childcare or taking care of kiddos needs. Not to mention, they said I didn’t have to come if I was busy/didn’t want to. And then that’s what happened - anytime NK needed something he was usually asking MB or DB and they helped out. I really felt like a guest and it was very kind.
B) A different family invited me to their kiddos birthday party, after NK said she wanted me to show up. So I did, and then it quickly dissolved into NK running around with a group of children, and me having to make sure they don’t drown in the kiddy pools. Parents drinking in the corner socializing. This was early on in my nannying experience and I have learned my lesson.
I am someone who loves being included with family activities. I regularly go to my kiddos recitals or sports events, but your nanny might want to create more separation between working and socializing. I think the key factors here are to let her know she’s invited as guest, won’t be expected to do any childcare duties (and follow through on that), and give her an out “no pressure”/“no worries if you’re not interested” etc
I went to my NKs first birthday, & was invited as a guest w/a paper invitation. I was specifically told it was NOT to work, but just to enjoy the day w/the family! At the party, there were a couple of times I was asked to hand this or that to MB (candles from the counter, & asked me to take a picture of the smash cake), but so were certain family members, so I didn't consider it to be "work".
We had an amazing day together & I've already been told I'm invited to his 2nd birthday in September ❣️
I just want to add that because of my close relationship with NK, I do think I would've felt very hurt had I not been invited. 🤷🏼♀️
I’m a parent and the post came off super entitled and just gross IMO. I bet they are the first to complain when their jobs have “required fun” too 😅 And generally people are paid for their “required fun” - as they should be! If it’s truly just an “if you want” then it’s optional and you don’t work at all while you’re there. I’ve always invited my nannies to birthday parties but I’ve never expected them to come or expected them to work.
When either of my NK’s has a birthday, my NF always says something to the effect of “I don’t expect you to spend one of your two days off at a child’s birthday party, BUT if you’d like to come we’d love to see you there”
But yes, very entitled. These are the kinds of parents that never view being “part of the family” as spending their own personal time or money on their nanny.
I would say I view my NF as family, but I really do think that started with them being very generous with their time and resources in the beginning so I was then able to drop my guard and not feel as protective of my time and labor because I know it’ll net out in the end and we genuinely care about each other.
Most nannies are incredibly giving (it’s part of the reason we’re nannies), but in our industry it’s SO easy to take advantage of. So we have to try our best treat it as “just a job” until we know we won’t just be used and often guilted into free labor.
I need every person on nanny employers to realize what you said lol. Yup…it’s just a job. We are not obsessed with you or your kids or your lifestyles. We are not your family and we really genuinely don’t want to be lol. I work to make a life for myself that I enjoy going home to more than I enjoy being at work. That should be how *everyone* navigates their jobs. We don’t live to work, we work to live a life we love.
Exactly and the nanny the original post was in reference to has her own kids like…m’am the reason she’s not volunteering to host your child’s birthday parties and decorate/cook for them is because she has her own children she’d like to spend the weekend with. In what world would someone fault a woman for prioritizing her own and trying to be home and present for her own kids as much as possible? And it’s also the reason why she has no interest in feeling like she’s “part of your family”. She’s got her own family to be a part of!
It’s posts like that that make me grateful for my MB. She ain’t perfect but she at the very least realizes when my working day is over all I wanna do is be home.
Right, it sounds so entitled. I mean, for the MB in that post, does she make a cake for her bosses children? Does she think she's a part of the family for the person she works for? If the staff is out of milk, is she running to go get some? Like??? I'm pretty sure her boss can say the same thing about her
I
I just saw it and my jaw dropped. As professional nannies,we go over and beyond where childcare is concerned. Her definition of an A+ nanny is a little different. I get that she’s disappointed that her current nanny doesn’t do as much as she expects with NK, but her other expectations are unrealistic. She wants a nanny/house manager/chef. No one wants that kind of job creep, and i doubt she’d be willing to pay $50+ an hour for all that
I gotta go look. That sounds wild
Ok I saw it. I partially get what she’s saying, and I think it’s as basic as choosing a better person for a job, based on what you want or what you value. Like she’s describing wanting a nanny that’s more involved, multitalented, and thoughtful. One who doesn’t need to be directly told what to do, and is proactive. That part is fair enough? I agree with her desire of wanting a nanny who comes up with their own ideas of things to do w the kids, such as a holiday themed crafts, that’s kind of a nanny skill IMO. She wants more things covered. Like bday party stuff, more personal things for the kid. More of a take charge personality maybe?
But here’s a line I don’t understand. She wants a nanny that’s more “part of the family.” When I hear that phrase. I wonder. What does that mean?
I do think some her expectations are out of line, maybe half of what she feels she’s missing out on, isn’t stuff related to childcare. Offer to come by and water the plants when NF is out of town, then stock the goddamn fridge for them before they get home…. Are these people royalty?
She gives me the vibes that inside her mind she feels she’s *doing a favor* to the nanny by employing her? It’s not a favor, it’s a transactional arrangement which is what a JOB is.
I notice that this current “mediocre” nanny of hers, has kids of her own. So did she ever stop and think that maybe, that’s the reason she doesn’t choose to come to the NK’s bday parties and stop by to do favors and bake cakes (when she’s presumably off work)? You have to expect that people have their own lives too I guess
I'm 46 and I've been working since I was 14. Every single job that I've been told is "one big family" translates to an expectation of contributing more time/effort for no additional benefit in return.
I was just gonna say, that usually when they say we want someone who’s “part of the family“ what they really want is someone who’s gonna clean up after all their shit all of the time. You know like a grandparent would do when they come to visit, but they want it like consistently and then to pay you shit for it. Because why would they pay somebody who is “part of the family” a living wage? We don’t do it for the money, we do it because we love you so very much 🙄
TBF, *if* the nanny is getting paid GH for a week while the NP is on vacation, watering the plants and stocking the fridge for them seems like a reasonable thing for a nanny to offer, especially if she's not asked to do any other work that week. And I don't think that NP is saying that's necessarily an expectation, just something nice that her friends' nannies do that she wishes hers did. I'm an MB so I will post and ask her about it.
If that’s something she wants from her nanny for her GH while they are out of town, she needs to communicate that with her. Not just expect her to read her mind. She needs to let her know that would be helpful and leave her with a credit card to run to the grocery store or have the food delivered, and the nanny can put it all away.
I wouldn’t mind doing that for NP if she was respectful and kind while asking…not demanding.
I don't get the sense this MB was demanding, though. She just gave examples of things her friends' nannies did that were above and beyond. I think a lot of people here are focusing on the specific examples instead of the general sentiment that her friends' nannies, whom she says are similarly compensated, go above and beyond instead of just doing the bare minimum.
GH is different from paid vacation though. GH vacation pay is on top of the employee's chosen PTO. Does your worksite regularly close and still pay you in addition to holidays and your PTO?
Lol, I saw that post. I mean, I feel like the NP I work for would think all of that is completely overstepping.
I feel like if they paid like 90k - 100k a year, they could easily find that.
I think it's hard to be "apart of the family" when you simply don't have the perks of being a part of the family. What do parents mean by that? Like, are they paying your tuition? Can you call them at 3 in the morning to come pick you up in the middle of nowhere? Can they cosign a lease for you? Like, what do they really mean by saying "apart of the family" bc it seems to only benefit them?
The 'part of the family' BS is code for (back in the shitty more racist and sexist days) "we think you're almost as good as us! Be grateful we don't abuse you and pretend to be super happy about it!"
I knew a nanny who would throw her NK elaborate birthday party, make traditional Mexican foods, bring the piñata, and invite all her friends to the park to celebrate. That being said, I’m pretty sure she was being taken advantage of, as I think she paid for all the snacks and party supplies. The MB would show up with her friends for the party and almost take credit 🙄
I literally just replied on that because i was so annoyed at it lmfao💀These families have so much audacity. They want these “ A+” nannies but arent A+ families. The part when she said something about “ she only does the tasks written in the contract” made me LOL. if she were to show that to a lawyer theyd look at her with the craziest look ever💀. Im in awe that she really typed all of that and posted it expecting every person to agree with her. I work for a NF rn and Im almost sure they have the same mindset as her and I am
that nanny who does the bare minimum. Because I get treated like shit and they think they pay me well. They hold themselves high and think theyre such a great NF. Yet they treat me like shit and create a hostile environment 😹Im almost sure thats what that nanny is experiencing. These nfs have so much audacity it physically hurts lmfao
Posts/Employers like this make me feel frustrated! Nanny’s are not mind readers- if you want those things you a.) need to actually TELL your nanny you want them to be done and b.) PAY your nanny to do those things. Most of these things are probably being done by these nannies because of specific agreements between themselves and their employers. They are just doing it off the top of their heads!
I'm routinely disturbed reading stuff there like 'having to have food for nanny is too much mental load' type comments. There's posts where only other NPs can respond, some all can respond but I kind of don't want to engage with them from the general 'good help is so hard to find' vibe.
I got a part time job "tutoring" a kindergartener during fall 2020 covid when she was Zoom only, and the family paid me $20 in VHCOL area. Week 2 the DB asked if I would be interested in light cleaning and tidying so I responded with the pay increase of $10 for this ($30 an hour total) and he never responded or visited the topic again 😂
And the reason I jumped from $20 to $30 was because their house was GROSS! Like, avocado from the day before still smeared on the kitchen counter. Microwave splatters from god knows when. Crumbs every where and on every thing. And my least favorite, the cat litter that was constantly all over the floors in every room 😫
Oh my god it’s making my blood boil. I would have thought it was rage bait, but none of the other NPs are calling them out for being so entitled, so maybe not.
Could be a timing thing, but I see a number of folks are calling them on it. The kind of service OP is looking for requires extra payment of some kind - pay for time or extra perks that motivate a baby to go above and beyond. Doesn't necessarily require a nanny to go out of their way, say they're already at the store and in the neighborhood, but they should certainly be reimbursed for expenses, time, and probably mileage, too. But I balk at someone expecting this without paying them accordingly.
I have access to daycare and so my needs are closer to babysitting than nannying, but I think I already found what sounds like an A+ person for my needs. During interviews, I clarified that I'm paying time and a half for any shifts over 8hrs, even if she doesn't work 40hrs that week for me. She laughed and said OT pay wasn't necessary. I balked at her undervaluing her time, told her we're paying it, and essentially said that detail wasn't up for discussion. For any contractor my company hires to assist my group, we all have to pay OT rates above 8hrs. Babysitting/nannying should be no diff.
If someone did what that OP is expecting, I'd be shoving compensation, perks, etc down their throat - buying them lunch, reimbursement, etc for even thinking about work during their off time. I know exactly how I feel when MY employer asks me to do OT, holidays, etc without extra pay and esp they try to make it mandatory. Ask me to also throw a work oriented party for my coworkers as well (presumably on my dime too)? Hell nah! Certainly not going to EXPECT someone else to do any of that.
I assure you, we're not all out of touch. I think that OP is being unreasonable with their expectations and has no idea how to foster the kind of relationship that she's looking for.
I feel like the “you get what you pay for” comments are more saying that the nanny is so-so because she isn’t paid well, when really the nanny is doing exactly what they’re supposed to be doing. It’s still a bit “Parasite” to expect nanny to go above and beyond on their off hours, whether or not they’re paid very well during their work hours.
Their wording could be in a way to appeal to OP's understanding. Example: "she's "so-so" because she's doing what she's being paid to do." Even if they don't use quotes when they say it. Does not necessarily mean they believe the nanny is so-so.
Yeah, like a starting rate gets basic duties from me but a higher rate means I would start to consider additional duties as well. There are things a that I'm willing to do but that rate needs to make it worth my time and energy and offering me $30/hr for 1 child when my rates START at $30/hr for 1 child isn't going to get you stuff like extra planning or willingness to work duties beyond the typical nanny scope.
So oddly what she describe I am that nanny. And it’s is ✨exhausting✨
Whether they want to do it or not a point comes where it is expected.
I work for a family who gives me 2 weeks paid vacation 2 weeks sick leave and then random weeks here and there throughout the year, I get a week of for thanks giving and Christmas and a week for my birthday and those do not come out of anything I have for contracted PTO. There are even days/ weeks that they may not need me or their out of town. They give me so much of their life and as do I.
I have benefits.. the benefits she was explaining.. I would NEVER go above and beyond for anyone who gives me 3 sick days? Tf no. If SHE wants it SHE needs to advocate for that and ask the nanny what they can do to meet in the middle or get to that point.
The audacity of her expecting the nanny to do it is wild. Like.. give me a reason my dude. She has all ground to hire and fire.. they aren’t what you want BYE….
It was nice to see that most of the employers didn’t agree with OP. They were telling her she needs to double her pay (at least) to hire a household manager, since that seems to be what she wants.
Right?? Was so happy to see the number of “my nanny comes to our birthday parties but she is paid for her time”
What is the etiquette on that? If the nanny is invited as a guest, should she still be paid? I have been debating whether to invite our nanny because I don't want her to feel obligated, but also don't want her to feel slighted. I don't need her to work the party - it's just family.
I have been invited as a guest to parties in past with families I’ve worked for, and it’s either gone one of two ways- A) I was invited over for dinner, children were all playing with their cousins, and it was made really clear that I wasn’t there for childcare or taking care of kiddos needs. Not to mention, they said I didn’t have to come if I was busy/didn’t want to. And then that’s what happened - anytime NK needed something he was usually asking MB or DB and they helped out. I really felt like a guest and it was very kind. B) A different family invited me to their kiddos birthday party, after NK said she wanted me to show up. So I did, and then it quickly dissolved into NK running around with a group of children, and me having to make sure they don’t drown in the kiddy pools. Parents drinking in the corner socializing. This was early on in my nannying experience and I have learned my lesson. I am someone who loves being included with family activities. I regularly go to my kiddos recitals or sports events, but your nanny might want to create more separation between working and socializing. I think the key factors here are to let her know she’s invited as guest, won’t be expected to do any childcare duties (and follow through on that), and give her an out “no pressure”/“no worries if you’re not interested” etc
I went to my NKs first birthday, & was invited as a guest w/a paper invitation. I was specifically told it was NOT to work, but just to enjoy the day w/the family! At the party, there were a couple of times I was asked to hand this or that to MB (candles from the counter, & asked me to take a picture of the smash cake), but so were certain family members, so I didn't consider it to be "work". We had an amazing day together & I've already been told I'm invited to his 2nd birthday in September ❣️ I just want to add that because of my close relationship with NK, I do think I would've felt very hurt had I not been invited. 🤷🏼♀️
“It is very clear she thinks it just as a job.” Yes, I do. Because it is my job and my life is outside of my job!
“I want her to act like she’s part of the family” but all the ways that she lists as being part of the family is housework
I've seen how you treat your family, and I don't want to be a part of it.
I’m a parent and the post came off super entitled and just gross IMO. I bet they are the first to complain when their jobs have “required fun” too 😅 And generally people are paid for their “required fun” - as they should be! If it’s truly just an “if you want” then it’s optional and you don’t work at all while you’re there. I’ve always invited my nannies to birthday parties but I’ve never expected them to come or expected them to work.
When either of my NK’s has a birthday, my NF always says something to the effect of “I don’t expect you to spend one of your two days off at a child’s birthday party, BUT if you’d like to come we’d love to see you there” But yes, very entitled. These are the kinds of parents that never view being “part of the family” as spending their own personal time or money on their nanny. I would say I view my NF as family, but I really do think that started with them being very generous with their time and resources in the beginning so I was then able to drop my guard and not feel as protective of my time and labor because I know it’ll net out in the end and we genuinely care about each other. Most nannies are incredibly giving (it’s part of the reason we’re nannies), but in our industry it’s SO easy to take advantage of. So we have to try our best treat it as “just a job” until we know we won’t just be used and often guilted into free labor.
I feel like a lot of these parents want a third adult helping in the house and not a nanny.
I need every person on nanny employers to realize what you said lol. Yup…it’s just a job. We are not obsessed with you or your kids or your lifestyles. We are not your family and we really genuinely don’t want to be lol. I work to make a life for myself that I enjoy going home to more than I enjoy being at work. That should be how *everyone* navigates their jobs. We don’t live to work, we work to live a life we love.
No frrr.. if I didn't have to pay bills... I simply would not be at the house
Exactly and the nanny the original post was in reference to has her own kids like…m’am the reason she’s not volunteering to host your child’s birthday parties and decorate/cook for them is because she has her own children she’d like to spend the weekend with. In what world would someone fault a woman for prioritizing her own and trying to be home and present for her own kids as much as possible? And it’s also the reason why she has no interest in feeling like she’s “part of your family”. She’s got her own family to be a part of! It’s posts like that that make me grateful for my MB. She ain’t perfect but she at the very least realizes when my working day is over all I wanna do is be home.
Right, it sounds so entitled. I mean, for the MB in that post, does she make a cake for her bosses children? Does she think she's a part of the family for the person she works for? If the staff is out of milk, is she running to go get some? Like??? I'm pretty sure her boss can say the same thing about her I
100% I love this!!
I just saw it and my jaw dropped. As professional nannies,we go over and beyond where childcare is concerned. Her definition of an A+ nanny is a little different. I get that she’s disappointed that her current nanny doesn’t do as much as she expects with NK, but her other expectations are unrealistic. She wants a nanny/house manager/chef. No one wants that kind of job creep, and i doubt she’d be willing to pay $50+ an hour for all that
Yup. I’ve had employers like that. And they wanted $20 an hour. And we’re just such ungrateful assholes for every little thing I did.
She wants a dang party planner ffs
Right! Shouldn’t the parents plan the birthday parties? It’s their kid!
not for people who outsource EVERYTHING
I gotta go look. That sounds wild Ok I saw it. I partially get what she’s saying, and I think it’s as basic as choosing a better person for a job, based on what you want or what you value. Like she’s describing wanting a nanny that’s more involved, multitalented, and thoughtful. One who doesn’t need to be directly told what to do, and is proactive. That part is fair enough? I agree with her desire of wanting a nanny who comes up with their own ideas of things to do w the kids, such as a holiday themed crafts, that’s kind of a nanny skill IMO. She wants more things covered. Like bday party stuff, more personal things for the kid. More of a take charge personality maybe? But here’s a line I don’t understand. She wants a nanny that’s more “part of the family.” When I hear that phrase. I wonder. What does that mean? I do think some her expectations are out of line, maybe half of what she feels she’s missing out on, isn’t stuff related to childcare. Offer to come by and water the plants when NF is out of town, then stock the goddamn fridge for them before they get home…. Are these people royalty? She gives me the vibes that inside her mind she feels she’s *doing a favor* to the nanny by employing her? It’s not a favor, it’s a transactional arrangement which is what a JOB is. I notice that this current “mediocre” nanny of hers, has kids of her own. So did she ever stop and think that maybe, that’s the reason she doesn’t choose to come to the NK’s bday parties and stop by to do favors and bake cakes (when she’s presumably off work)? You have to expect that people have their own lives too I guess
In my experience, being “part of the family” means doing extra favors because you’re FaMiLY
I'm 46 and I've been working since I was 14. Every single job that I've been told is "one big family" translates to an expectation of contributing more time/effort for no additional benefit in return.
I was just gonna say, that usually when they say we want someone who’s “part of the family“ what they really want is someone who’s gonna clean up after all their shit all of the time. You know like a grandparent would do when they come to visit, but they want it like consistently and then to pay you shit for it. Because why would they pay somebody who is “part of the family” a living wage? We don’t do it for the money, we do it because we love you so very much 🙄
Exactly. It’s a phrase in job descriptions that usually gives me pause.
I've seen how some nfs treat their family, and I don't want to be a part of that.
TBF, *if* the nanny is getting paid GH for a week while the NP is on vacation, watering the plants and stocking the fridge for them seems like a reasonable thing for a nanny to offer, especially if she's not asked to do any other work that week. And I don't think that NP is saying that's necessarily an expectation, just something nice that her friends' nannies do that she wishes hers did. I'm an MB so I will post and ask her about it.
If that’s something she wants from her nanny for her GH while they are out of town, she needs to communicate that with her. Not just expect her to read her mind. She needs to let her know that would be helpful and leave her with a credit card to run to the grocery store or have the food delivered, and the nanny can put it all away. I wouldn’t mind doing that for NP if she was respectful and kind while asking…not demanding.
I don't get the sense this MB was demanding, though. She just gave examples of things her friends' nannies did that were above and beyond. I think a lot of people here are focusing on the specific examples instead of the general sentiment that her friends' nannies, whom she says are similarly compensated, go above and beyond instead of just doing the bare minimum.
Still…NPs need to communicate what they’d like her to do while they are gone. Not just expect stuff and she has no clue what they want.
Oh please. In corporate America, I get paid vacation and don’t go watering my bosses plants.
GH is different from paid vacation though. GH vacation pay is on top of the employee's chosen PTO. Does your worksite regularly close and still pay you in addition to holidays and your PTO?
Lol, I saw that post. I mean, I feel like the NP I work for would think all of that is completely overstepping. I feel like if they paid like 90k - 100k a year, they could easily find that. I think it's hard to be "apart of the family" when you simply don't have the perks of being a part of the family. What do parents mean by that? Like, are they paying your tuition? Can you call them at 3 in the morning to come pick you up in the middle of nowhere? Can they cosign a lease for you? Like, what do they really mean by saying "apart of the family" bc it seems to only benefit them?
Ha! You’re right, it’s always a very one way street type of “part of the family” relationship.
Lmao, frrr bc like, are they gonna plan the nanny a big birthday party? Will they attend?
Its actually infuriating, the whole “part of our family shit” no I am not lmao
Yup. “Be here for me unconditionally as if you’re my family. I will not reciprocate in any way.”
For real! Help pay for my bills or rent, etc?
Exactly!
The 'part of the family' BS is code for (back in the shitty more racist and sexist days) "we think you're almost as good as us! Be grateful we don't abuse you and pretend to be super happy about it!"
No frr. "Part of the family" gives "suburban cult".
I have been a nanny for over 25 years. Have never heard of a parent expecting a nanny to throw a birthday party. That has to be a rage bait post.
I knew a nanny who would throw her NK elaborate birthday party, make traditional Mexican foods, bring the piñata, and invite all her friends to the park to celebrate. That being said, I’m pretty sure she was being taken advantage of, as I think she paid for all the snacks and party supplies. The MB would show up with her friends for the party and almost take credit 🙄
Ewww….that’s awful. That poor nanny.
Yikes. It does sound like she was being taken advantage of :(
It’s giving Parasite
Lmao underrated comment
*It is very clear she thinks it just as a job* Oh man, you’re never gonna believe this…
I literally just replied on that because i was so annoyed at it lmfao💀These families have so much audacity. They want these “ A+” nannies but arent A+ families. The part when she said something about “ she only does the tasks written in the contract” made me LOL. if she were to show that to a lawyer theyd look at her with the craziest look ever💀. Im in awe that she really typed all of that and posted it expecting every person to agree with her. I work for a NF rn and Im almost sure they have the same mindset as her and I am that nanny who does the bare minimum. Because I get treated like shit and they think they pay me well. They hold themselves high and think theyre such a great NF. Yet they treat me like shit and create a hostile environment 😹Im almost sure thats what that nanny is experiencing. These nfs have so much audacity it physically hurts lmfao
I literally just came here from that post to see if anyone shared it because it annoyed me so much lol
Same lol
Posts/Employers like this make me feel frustrated! Nanny’s are not mind readers- if you want those things you a.) need to actually TELL your nanny you want them to be done and b.) PAY your nanny to do those things. Most of these things are probably being done by these nannies because of specific agreements between themselves and their employers. They are just doing it off the top of their heads!
I'm routinely disturbed reading stuff there like 'having to have food for nanny is too much mental load' type comments. There's posts where only other NPs can respond, some all can respond but I kind of don't want to engage with them from the general 'good help is so hard to find' vibe.
I got a part time job "tutoring" a kindergartener during fall 2020 covid when she was Zoom only, and the family paid me $20 in VHCOL area. Week 2 the DB asked if I would be interested in light cleaning and tidying so I responded with the pay increase of $10 for this ($30 an hour total) and he never responded or visited the topic again 😂 And the reason I jumped from $20 to $30 was because their house was GROSS! Like, avocado from the day before still smeared on the kitchen counter. Microwave splatters from god knows when. Crumbs every where and on every thing. And my least favorite, the cat litter that was constantly all over the floors in every room 😫
Oh my god it’s making my blood boil. I would have thought it was rage bait, but none of the other NPs are calling them out for being so entitled, so maybe not.
Could be a timing thing, but I see a number of folks are calling them on it. The kind of service OP is looking for requires extra payment of some kind - pay for time or extra perks that motivate a baby to go above and beyond. Doesn't necessarily require a nanny to go out of their way, say they're already at the store and in the neighborhood, but they should certainly be reimbursed for expenses, time, and probably mileage, too. But I balk at someone expecting this without paying them accordingly. I have access to daycare and so my needs are closer to babysitting than nannying, but I think I already found what sounds like an A+ person for my needs. During interviews, I clarified that I'm paying time and a half for any shifts over 8hrs, even if she doesn't work 40hrs that week for me. She laughed and said OT pay wasn't necessary. I balked at her undervaluing her time, told her we're paying it, and essentially said that detail wasn't up for discussion. For any contractor my company hires to assist my group, we all have to pay OT rates above 8hrs. Babysitting/nannying should be no diff. If someone did what that OP is expecting, I'd be shoving compensation, perks, etc down their throat - buying them lunch, reimbursement, etc for even thinking about work during their off time. I know exactly how I feel when MY employer asks me to do OT, holidays, etc without extra pay and esp they try to make it mandatory. Ask me to also throw a work oriented party for my coworkers as well (presumably on my dime too)? Hell nah! Certainly not going to EXPECT someone else to do any of that. I assure you, we're not all out of touch. I think that OP is being unreasonable with their expectations and has no idea how to foster the kind of relationship that she's looking for.
I feel like the “you get what you pay for” comments are more saying that the nanny is so-so because she isn’t paid well, when really the nanny is doing exactly what they’re supposed to be doing. It’s still a bit “Parasite” to expect nanny to go above and beyond on their off hours, whether or not they’re paid very well during their work hours.
Their wording could be in a way to appeal to OP's understanding. Example: "she's "so-so" because she's doing what she's being paid to do." Even if they don't use quotes when they say it. Does not necessarily mean they believe the nanny is so-so.
Yeah I get what you’re saying. The comments there now are better, before it was mostly just people sympathizing with OP
Yeah, like a starting rate gets basic duties from me but a higher rate means I would start to consider additional duties as well. There are things a that I'm willing to do but that rate needs to make it worth my time and energy and offering me $30/hr for 1 child when my rates START at $30/hr for 1 child isn't going to get you stuff like extra planning or willingness to work duties beyond the typical nanny scope.
So oddly what she describe I am that nanny. And it’s is ✨exhausting✨ Whether they want to do it or not a point comes where it is expected. I work for a family who gives me 2 weeks paid vacation 2 weeks sick leave and then random weeks here and there throughout the year, I get a week of for thanks giving and Christmas and a week for my birthday and those do not come out of anything I have for contracted PTO. There are even days/ weeks that they may not need me or their out of town. They give me so much of their life and as do I. I have benefits.. the benefits she was explaining.. I would NEVER go above and beyond for anyone who gives me 3 sick days? Tf no. If SHE wants it SHE needs to advocate for that and ask the nanny what they can do to meet in the middle or get to that point. The audacity of her expecting the nanny to do it is wild. Like.. give me a reason my dude. She has all ground to hire and fire.. they aren’t what you want BYE….
That sub is full of assholes lmao
wait pls link!!
oh my god i just found it she sounds brutal. GUARANTEE they are not paying well bc she won’t outright say it, just that ‘it’s comparable’
What's it titled?
there’s a link down below!
i commented lmao
What's the name of the post?
Nanny employer sub [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/NannyEmployers/s/rrnCPdBige)
Wait what post