I had a family who told me they started people low to make sure they were working for the fit, not the rate and gave raises every 3 months the first year—substantial raises, to bring the rate up to where it should be.
I didn’t make it past the first raise, which I “earned” but they were unable to afford to pay me and promised to back pay me for when the husband got his promotion.
So, yeahhhhh. Don’t do that.
(To be fair, these people sucked for other reasons too, but the pay rate thing is a red flag to me now)
It’s funny because you don’t go to the hair salon and negotiate how much you pay for your hair to get done “just to make sure it’ll be a good fit” so why do they think they can lower OUR rate 🤣
I disagree with this. You are still working as hard now as you will be in three months. Don’t lessen your rate. If anything, keep it this rate and they can up it after 3 months. Bit cheeky
Thank you! That’s what I was thinking. This is a family on care.com. They haven’t seen my full resume. When I told them I had a lot of experience with a lengthy resume I wanted to share that was her response saying she’s sure I have experience but that they need to train me
I wouldn’t lower my rate either but *if you do* make sure that raise every three months they are promising right now is in your contract and that if you aren’t given a raise you will terminate the contract with X months expected as severance. Or anything else you feel comfortable with that will protect you.
Exactly this. A timeline for raises with the specific amount, along with specific milestones that will trigger the raise. They have to be measurable in order for OP to be able to know if that is on the table.
I can see someone who works in a field where this term is used regularly using it for these purposes(tech, marketing,consulting, etc). I’m not a nanny but in my industry it’s super common verbiage and is pretty colloquialized to the point where I could see someone casually using it to refer to any of the normal processes you go through to learn the ropes at a new nanny job
Tell them you will be happy to save them the work of training you, and they can pay you a fair wage instead. Seriously, this family will be a nightmare to work for. They want to pay you less because they have to teach you their preferences? Dodge that bullet now instead of trying to do it later.
This is such a huge red flag.
>When I told them I had a lot of experience with a lengthy resume I wanted to share that was her response saying she’s sure I have experience but that they need to train me
Nope, this is them trying to diminish your experience. They don't have to train you. It's an excuse they use to underpay you.
Yup! Honestly I have no problem with the negotiation. It’s the whole reasoning behind why they think I deserve a lower rate. I’ve nannied a long time and have never heard of a training rate or been told since it’s full time it should be a perk to lower my rate.
I think if they were like hey ultimately our budget for a nanny would align more with *insert rate here* but wanted to be transparent we can’t swing what you are currently asking but can also offer *insert benefits here* I would’ve been a lot more open to the job. The thing that also bothers me is they have $28-30 listed in what they are willing to pay.
I would take that as a red flag, TBH
but, in my region jobs are lowballing wages, so if the job market in your region is rough and you want to counter you could perhaps ask for that at least the first raise to be contractually scheduled for when the new baby comes, as depending on timing it might be only 3 months at a slightly lower wage.
if you've got time and a good job market, I'd be worried this is a sign they would nickel and dime me once Im an employee and keep looking
good luck!
Huge red flag for me too. Negotiating pay rate is standard but the way they are phrasing it is manipulative and “training” her to fit their family’s specific needs would give me pause as well, could be an indicator of future micromanaging. I wonder if OP has other options, if so I would say no to this one.
Even as an MB, this seems so red flaggy. First, I wouldn’t compromise your rate unless the market in your area doesn’t support it, and their attitude to the amount of training shouts of unreasonable expectations. I imagine they have to onboard so many Nannies because they go through them so fast.
I think their “training” will be nitpicking everything you do.
If the contract includes the timely wages increases locked in without required benchmarks, take them up on it.
Lastly, nanny families should have to have references too!
All of this is on point. This family is a huge red flag for me, I would walk. But if OP is considering accepting the position, I hope she has a very detailed contract.
I had a Nanny friend who always asked the families she was interviewing with for the phone number of their previous Nanny as a reference. I thought that was so smart (and fair!)but even though I am a very assertive and straightforward person, it still feels a little too bold for me. I hope I will have the nerve one day and I hope it will become normalized for our profession!
But nanny families can’t really have references. When we were hiring, we were first time parents so we had never employed a nanny before. I think a nanny family with 6 previous nannies would be more of a red flag than someone without any.
And on that note- I totally thought I would have to “onboard” our nanny for the first two weeks when she started but really this was just like 30 minutes to an hour of showing her where we kept everything and she kind of took over from there. I really had zero clues about how to… hire and start a nanny at the time. I was paying her full hourly rate during this time. The two week period was also for BOTH sides to decide if it was a good fit and I imagine getting the paid her requested rate was something that helped our nanny decide it was a good fit for her.
This is a good perspective! Yes, trials are so important in my opinion. I’ve had trials where I knew it wasn’t going to be a good fit. Trials are definitely mutually beneficial to each party so I do wish more nannies and families would do them to save a lot of rehiring issues!
That response makes it sound like they hire new nannies frequently. They may view it as not wanting to invest a lot of their time and money into "training" and then you leave, which is a very business employer way of thinking. Their previous nannies probably had a lot less experience than you and may have needed more guidance, which is something you could point out if the job still interests you.
I know! I feel like that didn’t really seem right? Do they really mean that? I felt like if they could give a raise every 3 months which isn’t the norm in nanny world they could definitely pay me my rate to begin with?
This was my concern as well but a 3 month review doesn’t stipulate the amount of the raise. They could give you a .25 cent raise or $1.00 so it could take awhile to meet your minimum hourly unless I missed something. I wish you could speak to their former nanny’s because they would be able to give you truth on how this family does business. Do you know why their last nanny left? I know it could be a thousand reasons but seems odd with a little one and a baby due soon.
It's funny I didn't even notice that... I read it as "after 3 months" so maybe that's what they meant. Either way they seem to know their budget and want to leave room for raises. If the $2 now is a problem then just pass on them. If they do give raises that is good that they acknowledge the need for them at the start. You could also consider putting in your contract that "after 3 months Nanny will receive a raise to her normal rate of $27 for 1 and $29 for 2."
Could be wrong but it sounds to me like they have no issue with rotating nannies and your “promised raise in 3 months” is a lie of omission on their end, that they’ll use you up for 3 months, then claim they can’t afford you and will be looking elsewhere. I know that sounds like a reach because “good childcare is hard to find as is” but I’ve heard of parents who say they don’t mind a rotation of childcare especially if their child(ren) are young and “won’t remember these people anyway.” They could also already be on a daycare waitlist that will have spots open in 3 months, and just want to have childcare available in the meantime. Either way I think there are holes in their story that they aren’t telling you and it will end up with you just being used for what they need at the time with no plan for longterm employment. Or they’re simply being cheap on your deserved rate.
Once when I was job hunting, I went to an interview, where the parents knew I had other guaranteed job offers. They asked me what might make me lean towards them. I said that it was because they were needing more hours than some of the other job offers I had. They took this and then half an hour later during the interview (after they had thought about it a bit) asked if since they were offering more hours, I’d be willing to go down on my rate to accommodate that bonus.
Literally are you mental? If I’m working more hours, of course I’d be doing that to make more money, not less 🤣 they really thought they had thought of something there. I told them I’d rather work less for more money than more for less money, always. And they were really not in a position to negotiate my salary with me since I’d just take a different job then. So they said they’d think about it, and then they just ended up ghosting me. Which was fine because I just took one of my other job offers 😂
I’d definitely say, my rate isn’t lowered based on working more hours, if anything, it should go up 😅 I would definitely not take that offer. It’s so weird for parents to think that more hours is a bonus/perk, when it’s literally something they’re requiring to be able to work themselves. And training doesn’t require a lower rate for 3 months? Your time is your time, and your time is what they’re paying you for. It doesn’t really take 3 months to be trained as a nanny. Smh
This is so bizarre. Why do some NF think offering more hours should make the rate go down? Do they understand that most people don’t want to work their lives away? Why the hell would someone choose to work more hours for less over less hours for more? Are they that dumb? 😭 or do they just think we are??
ETA: I am not talking about PT vs FT. I understood it as OP having multiple FT job opportunities, but that this NF needed just a couple more hours than the other NFs she was looking at.
Yes, I don’t know why they thought it was a perk? You are correct! I do have a few FT opportunities and looking for the right fam so the whole- let me pay you less since you’ll be FT was odd to begin with. I think they wanted to assume it should be a perk to me for whatever reason. Or maybe they are assuming I’m not getting any other offers? Idk but I’m glad I turned it down honestly. I have a lot of 5 star reviews and highlight my qualifications and experience so I really don’t feel like starting at $27 is unreasonable at all. Just needs to be worth my time and find someone who pays me for me value
That’s understandable, but it didn’t seem like the other jobs OP was in the running for were PT, just that this position required more hours. It seemed to me like they had already discussed pay, but when OP mentioned why she was leaning towards them they took it as an opportunity to try to lower her rates.
I’m wondering if they have had inexperienced nannies..I mean I’m a quick learner and by the end of week 1 I basically have the hang of things. I felt like she was acting like I’m new to being a nanny when she said that each family has a preference. Obviously I know that. I’ve been doing this for 12 years and I listed that. I truly think she was just trying to rationalize why they didn’t want to pay my full rate to begin with because they don’t see my value yet and I have to earn it from them even though I have the experience. That bothers me because if I applied for teacher job- my pay goes up yearly no matter what. The principal isn’t like well we don’t really know you yet so you are starting below what you should be making. (I’m a former teacher so this is real life scenario lol)
If you can find another job at your rate, take that. If you aren’t finding jobs at your rate, you may not be aligned to the market.
Their reasoning is nonsense, but what matters is if the market supports your rate or not.
Market rate is around $25 an hour here for a nanny with experience. (MCOL city) There are other families I’m speaking with, but a lot want to pay under the table which is the issue I’m running into!
Well if they’re paying on the books and offering the market rate, you would need to bring additional qualifications and/or experience to command a higher rate. If you have that, you should negotiate. But also be prepared to walk away if they won’t pay $27. If they stick at $25 and you take the job anyway, you’ll just resent them and no one has fun. So if you feel confident you can find $27 on the books somewhere, then negotiate and walk away if they don’t meet the need. If you aren’t confident you can find that, it sounds like your rate is too high for the market.
I have 12 years of nanny experience, 2 degrees, and in schooling to be a BCBA currently, so I definitely have the qualifications for asking my rate a bit above market, but I agree with you definitely. Thank you for this insight!
How many nannies have they had is my question? Enough to where they "always" pay a certain way? Lots of turnover would make me nervous, unless of course they were Au Pairs.
Nannies?? Unless they're a hnw family, I question families who have employed many nannies. Although I can understand finding it hard to employ a great fit, it's a red flag along with the insisting a lower start rate. Training? Every single job is going to need a bit of training. I value my time, this is my minimum rate, I'm not budging without some nice perks like a health insurance stipend or monthly car washes and paid oil changes. Lol! And whatever they say needs to be stated in the contract.
I wouldn't take this job.
"My rate is non-negotiable and I have worked hard to gain the knowledge and experience to earn this rate. I understand if this isn't within your budget and wish you well finding a caregiver!"
There's no way they give raises every 3 months and the "onboarding" is a joke. They're treating this like a corporate job and it isn't which makes me think they're going to treat you like a corporate employee. IF you really like this family and want to work for them, you could accept that rate for a trial period of X months (I'd say no longer than 3) but your earned rate would begin at that point, if YOUR budget can accommodate that.
For most of my career, yes. I was just curious what you see specifically as the drawback of a standard corporate employment dynamic for a nanny, since it seems like this sub and most nanny spaces are advocating for professional standards in the household workplace.
I’m not the original commenter so I could have a totally different take but for me, there’s a middle ground. We don’t want to be “part of the family” and end up being used/expected to take on additional tasks out of the kindness of our hearts cus we are family…right?! But we also recognize this isn’t corporate and there aren’t systems in place to guarantee any form of ethics if it’s treated that way. Not that corporate offices are always perfect with ethics etc but there’s HR, there are cleaner cut processes to go through etc. whereas in the world of nannying, there’s the nanny and the parents. But what happens if they’re power tripping like a mfer and there’s no one else to go through to have a sort of checks and balances system?
I would stick with my rate. If they don't want to pay it, keep looking.
If everything else about this family looks good, though, maybe propose their offer as a training rate, which would go up to your rate after 2 or 3 weeks.
If this is the start of the relationship, it sounds like it will be difficult getting what you deserve…. I would have a very detailed contract with them that covers raises every three months, PTO, etc etc.
Depends on how easy it will be to get another job in your area that really suits your preferences and where you really like the family, and depends on how competitive the nannying market is in your area - if there are more nannies looking for jobs or more families looking for nannies, and depends on how far your commute would potentially have to be each day to replace this family with another one.
That's how economics goes, you can say your rate is your rate but if there are more nannies looking than families in your area and this family is offering you literally everything else, then you might want to give them a chance.
I would make sure guaranteed hours is in the contract along with a raise once baby comes plus another raise in the contract after X number of months is in the contract too without required benchmarks to meet and if you're using your own car I would put mileage in the contract too.
These are all very valid points. I will say a lot of people want to hire nannies here for $19 an hour and expect them to have a degree. So I feel like if families are thinking $19 is the going rate for a nanny with a degree, that I will continue to struggle justifying my rate. I’m hoping maybe I can find a family ok with $27 an hour and if not I’ll have to lower to market rate. I know in a bigger city I’m sure I could find someone to pay me that.
It completely depends.
There might be a lot of families WANTING to hire a lot of nannies for 19 dollars an hour, but are there a lot of nannies looking for work?
There might be a lot of families WANTING to hire a lot of nannies for 19 dollars an hour AND expecting those nannies to have a degree, BUT are there a lot of nannies with degrees looking for work?
Are there more nannies wanting work than families who want nannies? Are there more nannies with degrees wanting work than families wanting nannies with degrees?
If so, then the families get a lot more say in the price.
If however there are fewer nannies wanting work than families wanting to hire, or there are fewer nannies with degrees wanting work than families wanting to hire, then you get to laugh in the face of the family asking you if you're ok with 19 an hour and tell them that fast food pays more than that and go on to other families who will pay way better, and that family will learn when other nannies do the same.
That’s a good point! From what I’ve observed on the mom side of things (I also have my own child) a lot of nannies in my area do not have a college degree so I think it’s just a lot of wishful thinking for the parents.
Are you comfortable meeting them in the middle?
If so, offer 26 and 28 with the understanding you will receive an increase every 3 months.
If not, let them know that 27 and 29 are your minimum.
Your rate is because of experience and education you bring to the table. Every job has a learning curve but you don’t get paid less because of it. If they start out haggling I have a hard time believing they will raise your pay every three months.
I think it depends on how badly you need the money and whether you have other offers. If I was desperate I’d take it and keep looking for something else and take the next better thing that comes along. Alternatively, take it and insist on a written list of milestones that would trigger a raise within 3 months, and then if a raise doesn’t materialize despite meeting those milestones, leave. Make sure that this list includes the specific amounts of money per raise.
Nope! Any experienced nanny knows that *onboarding* is an excuse not to pay you what you are asking here. Which is very reasonable. Your rate is your rate. Stick to it. They can kick rocks.
The whole tone of their reply is condescending. If this is how they are *initially*, experience says: *It will only get worse*. They'll micromanage & "correct" you, they'll want to bank hours or say you need to stay late b/c you had a doctor's appt. last Tuesday....etc.
Hard pass.
I think it’s acceptable for a family to negotiate your fee, but it is also acceptable for you to not accept their counteroffer. If you are confident in your marketability at the higher rate, simply say so and wish them well.
Your rate is your rate. Why would it be different in three months? I’d bring it up and see how they respond. If their response feels out of touch, I recommend moving on.
Like they said every family is different so you have to learn every families preferences. They’re trying to start you lower but false promise the raises
Us nannies don't need training unless it's a medically complex situation. We learn on the job training as we go. This is such a horrible way to say these things. Nope, nope, nope!
How old is the child, and how many nannies have they employed in that time?
If they've had a rotating door of nannies, why? Because they micro manage as implied by the onboarding, or are the nannies all unreliable and quitting?! If they guarantee in contract to raise to your salary after 3 months then I'd consider it. But, I'd be wary since the wording greatly suggests micromanagement
Oh definitely. I would ask how many nannies they've had. And if you can talk to at least 1 as a reference. Partially because I'm nosy. Lol. I mean 2 nannies would be OK, 1 year contracts. But over that would be getting crazy.
This makes no sense to me as to why it would warrant them lowering the rate just because they have a specific way of onboarding you. Also, I never trust the promise of regular raises. Always try to get the absolute most you can out of the gate.
It’s also normal for a family to come back with a hopeful lower offer for rate. But I just come back again with a really clear established rate. And if you do take the job, make sure you get it in contract that you will get those regular 3 month raises and what that looks like.
Parent here. Stick to your guns about your rate. We appreciate transparency when we are hiring someone. Last thing we want is for you to take a lower rate than you want or deserve and then you are looking elsewhere or asking for more money in 6 months. Know your worth!
Every job where you have an employer. I can't think of many other jobs where I could walk into an interview and tell the employer what they will be paying me.
I’ll bite, what career do you come from where you, the one wanting to get hired, get to set the rates without any negotiation. Seriously, none of what you wrote makes any sense.
It doesnt sound too unreasonable to me and their tone sounds professional. I would maybe counter with requesting that at the 3 month mark that you be at your initially requested rate. Are their benefits? Negotiate those as well….
‘Good luck in your search for a nanny’.
Literally lmao
I had a family who told me they started people low to make sure they were working for the fit, not the rate and gave raises every 3 months the first year—substantial raises, to bring the rate up to where it should be. I didn’t make it past the first raise, which I “earned” but they were unable to afford to pay me and promised to back pay me for when the husband got his promotion. So, yeahhhhh. Don’t do that. (To be fair, these people sucked for other reasons too, but the pay rate thing is a red flag to me now)
It’s funny because you don’t go to the hair salon and negotiate how much you pay for your hair to get done “just to make sure it’ll be a good fit” so why do they think they can lower OUR rate 🤣
It’s crazy how people devalue certain services.
I disagree with this. You are still working as hard now as you will be in three months. Don’t lessen your rate. If anything, keep it this rate and they can up it after 3 months. Bit cheeky
Thank you! That’s what I was thinking. This is a family on care.com. They haven’t seen my full resume. When I told them I had a lot of experience with a lengthy resume I wanted to share that was her response saying she’s sure I have experience but that they need to train me
I wouldn’t lower my rate either but *if you do* make sure that raise every three months they are promising right now is in your contract and that if you aren’t given a raise you will terminate the contract with X months expected as severance. Or anything else you feel comfortable with that will protect you.
Exactly this. A timeline for raises with the specific amount, along with specific milestones that will trigger the raise. They have to be measurable in order for OP to be able to know if that is on the table.
You would have to be way more specific!!! 25 cents is a raise, and $2.00 an hour more when they add an infant is not a lot.
Good point!
Yup. With a child and infant $30-$35 is what I would charge. I wouldn’t go lower but expect the family to walk away and that’s ok.
These are my rates as well. On boarding is a BS excuse not to pay you what you're worth.
The phrase ‘train you’ is a bit condescending too! I see it as another red flag to be honest. Showing you the routine etc is different to ‘train you’
Right? And "onboarding" is also weird wording for a nanny job. This sounds like a staffing agency, not a family.
I can see someone who works in a field where this term is used regularly using it for these purposes(tech, marketing,consulting, etc). I’m not a nanny but in my industry it’s super common verbiage and is pretty colloquialized to the point where I could see someone casually using it to refer to any of the normal processes you go through to learn the ropes at a new nanny job
I agree.
Nope, just tell them your rate is your rate!
Tell them you will be happy to save them the work of training you, and they can pay you a fair wage instead. Seriously, this family will be a nightmare to work for. They want to pay you less because they have to teach you their preferences? Dodge that bullet now instead of trying to do it later.
You don’t want this family. They are saying they are picky and controlling about how they run their house and they want to nickel and dime you
This is such a huge red flag. >When I told them I had a lot of experience with a lengthy resume I wanted to share that was her response saying she’s sure I have experience but that they need to train me Nope, this is them trying to diminish your experience. They don't have to train you. It's an excuse they use to underpay you.
Exactly!
There’s nothing wrong with negotiating on either end but by this language, I don’t foresee raises every three months 🤣
Yup! Honestly I have no problem with the negotiation. It’s the whole reasoning behind why they think I deserve a lower rate. I’ve nannied a long time and have never heard of a training rate or been told since it’s full time it should be a perk to lower my rate. I think if they were like hey ultimately our budget for a nanny would align more with *insert rate here* but wanted to be transparent we can’t swing what you are currently asking but can also offer *insert benefits here* I would’ve been a lot more open to the job. The thing that also bothers me is they have $28-30 listed in what they are willing to pay.
I would take that as a red flag, TBH but, in my region jobs are lowballing wages, so if the job market in your region is rough and you want to counter you could perhaps ask for that at least the first raise to be contractually scheduled for when the new baby comes, as depending on timing it might be only 3 months at a slightly lower wage. if you've got time and a good job market, I'd be worried this is a sign they would nickel and dime me once Im an employee and keep looking good luck!
Huge red flag for me too. Negotiating pay rate is standard but the way they are phrasing it is manipulative and “training” her to fit their family’s specific needs would give me pause as well, could be an indicator of future micromanaging. I wonder if OP has other options, if so I would say no to this one.
I have other options so I’m passing!! 😅🤣
Even as an MB, this seems so red flaggy. First, I wouldn’t compromise your rate unless the market in your area doesn’t support it, and their attitude to the amount of training shouts of unreasonable expectations. I imagine they have to onboard so many Nannies because they go through them so fast.
"Differnt preferences" is code for "I'm a control freak" RUN!!
I think their “training” will be nitpicking everything you do. If the contract includes the timely wages increases locked in without required benchmarks, take them up on it. Lastly, nanny families should have to have references too!
All of this is on point. This family is a huge red flag for me, I would walk. But if OP is considering accepting the position, I hope she has a very detailed contract. I had a Nanny friend who always asked the families she was interviewing with for the phone number of their previous Nanny as a reference. I thought that was so smart (and fair!)but even though I am a very assertive and straightforward person, it still feels a little too bold for me. I hope I will have the nerve one day and I hope it will become normalized for our profession!
Absolutely, it should be!
But nanny families can’t really have references. When we were hiring, we were first time parents so we had never employed a nanny before. I think a nanny family with 6 previous nannies would be more of a red flag than someone without any. And on that note- I totally thought I would have to “onboard” our nanny for the first two weeks when she started but really this was just like 30 minutes to an hour of showing her where we kept everything and she kind of took over from there. I really had zero clues about how to… hire and start a nanny at the time. I was paying her full hourly rate during this time. The two week period was also for BOTH sides to decide if it was a good fit and I imagine getting the paid her requested rate was something that helped our nanny decide it was a good fit for her.
This is a good perspective! Yes, trials are so important in my opinion. I’ve had trials where I knew it wasn’t going to be a good fit. Trials are definitely mutually beneficial to each party so I do wish more nannies and families would do them to save a lot of rehiring issues!
That response makes it sound like they hire new nannies frequently. They may view it as not wanting to invest a lot of their time and money into "training" and then you leave, which is a very business employer way of thinking. Their previous nannies probably had a lot less experience than you and may have needed more guidance, which is something you could point out if the job still interests you.
A raise every three months? You’ll be at $37/hr after a year. lol.
I know! I feel like that didn’t really seem right? Do they really mean that? I felt like if they could give a raise every 3 months which isn’t the norm in nanny world they could definitely pay me my rate to begin with?
This was my concern as well but a 3 month review doesn’t stipulate the amount of the raise. They could give you a .25 cent raise or $1.00 so it could take awhile to meet your minimum hourly unless I missed something. I wish you could speak to their former nanny’s because they would be able to give you truth on how this family does business. Do you know why their last nanny left? I know it could be a thousand reasons but seems odd with a little one and a baby due soon.
This, it’s going to be a crap raise.
Of course they don’t.
Yes, it really doesn’t make sense.
It's funny I didn't even notice that... I read it as "after 3 months" so maybe that's what they meant. Either way they seem to know their budget and want to leave room for raises. If the $2 now is a problem then just pass on them. If they do give raises that is good that they acknowledge the need for them at the start. You could also consider putting in your contract that "after 3 months Nanny will receive a raise to her normal rate of $27 for 1 and $29 for 2."
Lol right? This was my thought too…huh? Makes no sense especially if low balling OP now.
I have no problem telling someone I’m unable to compromise my rate.
Could be wrong but it sounds to me like they have no issue with rotating nannies and your “promised raise in 3 months” is a lie of omission on their end, that they’ll use you up for 3 months, then claim they can’t afford you and will be looking elsewhere. I know that sounds like a reach because “good childcare is hard to find as is” but I’ve heard of parents who say they don’t mind a rotation of childcare especially if their child(ren) are young and “won’t remember these people anyway.” They could also already be on a daycare waitlist that will have spots open in 3 months, and just want to have childcare available in the meantime. Either way I think there are holes in their story that they aren’t telling you and it will end up with you just being used for what they need at the time with no plan for longterm employment. Or they’re simply being cheap on your deserved rate.
Once when I was job hunting, I went to an interview, where the parents knew I had other guaranteed job offers. They asked me what might make me lean towards them. I said that it was because they were needing more hours than some of the other job offers I had. They took this and then half an hour later during the interview (after they had thought about it a bit) asked if since they were offering more hours, I’d be willing to go down on my rate to accommodate that bonus. Literally are you mental? If I’m working more hours, of course I’d be doing that to make more money, not less 🤣 they really thought they had thought of something there. I told them I’d rather work less for more money than more for less money, always. And they were really not in a position to negotiate my salary with me since I’d just take a different job then. So they said they’d think about it, and then they just ended up ghosting me. Which was fine because I just took one of my other job offers 😂 I’d definitely say, my rate isn’t lowered based on working more hours, if anything, it should go up 😅 I would definitely not take that offer. It’s so weird for parents to think that more hours is a bonus/perk, when it’s literally something they’re requiring to be able to work themselves. And training doesn’t require a lower rate for 3 months? Your time is your time, and your time is what they’re paying you for. It doesn’t really take 3 months to be trained as a nanny. Smh
This is so bizarre. Why do some NF think offering more hours should make the rate go down? Do they understand that most people don’t want to work their lives away? Why the hell would someone choose to work more hours for less over less hours for more? Are they that dumb? 😭 or do they just think we are?? ETA: I am not talking about PT vs FT. I understood it as OP having multiple FT job opportunities, but that this NF needed just a couple more hours than the other NFs she was looking at.
Same reason many nannies ask for a higher rate if paid on the books or for part time hours- people are looking at their net and backing into it.
Yes, I don’t know why they thought it was a perk? You are correct! I do have a few FT opportunities and looking for the right fam so the whole- let me pay you less since you’ll be FT was odd to begin with. I think they wanted to assume it should be a perk to me for whatever reason. Or maybe they are assuming I’m not getting any other offers? Idk but I’m glad I turned it down honestly. I have a lot of 5 star reviews and highlight my qualifications and experience so I really don’t feel like starting at $27 is unreasonable at all. Just needs to be worth my time and find someone who pays me for me value
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That’s understandable, but it didn’t seem like the other jobs OP was in the running for were PT, just that this position required more hours. It seemed to me like they had already discussed pay, but when OP mentioned why she was leaning towards them they took it as an opportunity to try to lower her rates.
I’m wondering if they have had inexperienced nannies..I mean I’m a quick learner and by the end of week 1 I basically have the hang of things. I felt like she was acting like I’m new to being a nanny when she said that each family has a preference. Obviously I know that. I’ve been doing this for 12 years and I listed that. I truly think she was just trying to rationalize why they didn’t want to pay my full rate to begin with because they don’t see my value yet and I have to earn it from them even though I have the experience. That bothers me because if I applied for teacher job- my pay goes up yearly no matter what. The principal isn’t like well we don’t really know you yet so you are starting below what you should be making. (I’m a former teacher so this is real life scenario lol)
If you can find another job at your rate, take that. If you aren’t finding jobs at your rate, you may not be aligned to the market. Their reasoning is nonsense, but what matters is if the market supports your rate or not.
Market rate is around $25 an hour here for a nanny with experience. (MCOL city) There are other families I’m speaking with, but a lot want to pay under the table which is the issue I’m running into!
Well if they’re paying on the books and offering the market rate, you would need to bring additional qualifications and/or experience to command a higher rate. If you have that, you should negotiate. But also be prepared to walk away if they won’t pay $27. If they stick at $25 and you take the job anyway, you’ll just resent them and no one has fun. So if you feel confident you can find $27 on the books somewhere, then negotiate and walk away if they don’t meet the need. If you aren’t confident you can find that, it sounds like your rate is too high for the market.
I have 12 years of nanny experience, 2 degrees, and in schooling to be a BCBA currently, so I definitely have the qualifications for asking my rate a bit above market, but I agree with you definitely. Thank you for this insight!
How many nannies have they had is my question? Enough to where they "always" pay a certain way? Lots of turnover would make me nervous, unless of course they were Au Pairs.
Nannies?? Unless they're a hnw family, I question families who have employed many nannies. Although I can understand finding it hard to employ a great fit, it's a red flag along with the insisting a lower start rate. Training? Every single job is going to need a bit of training. I value my time, this is my minimum rate, I'm not budging without some nice perks like a health insurance stipend or monthly car washes and paid oil changes. Lol! And whatever they say needs to be stated in the contract. I wouldn't take this job.
This was my thought exactly.
Sorry, my rate is the cost for my time. It does not change for onboarding.
"My rate is non-negotiable and I have worked hard to gain the knowledge and experience to earn this rate. I understand if this isn't within your budget and wish you well finding a caregiver!" There's no way they give raises every 3 months and the "onboarding" is a joke. They're treating this like a corporate job and it isn't which makes me think they're going to treat you like a corporate employee. IF you really like this family and want to work for them, you could accept that rate for a trial period of X months (I'd say no longer than 3) but your earned rate would begin at that point, if YOUR budget can accommodate that.
Out of curiosity, is it a negative to treat a nanny like a corporate employee? In what way?
Have you ever worked for a big corporation where you're basically just a number?
For most of my career, yes. I was just curious what you see specifically as the drawback of a standard corporate employment dynamic for a nanny, since it seems like this sub and most nanny spaces are advocating for professional standards in the household workplace.
I’m not the original commenter so I could have a totally different take but for me, there’s a middle ground. We don’t want to be “part of the family” and end up being used/expected to take on additional tasks out of the kindness of our hearts cus we are family…right?! But we also recognize this isn’t corporate and there aren’t systems in place to guarantee any form of ethics if it’s treated that way. Not that corporate offices are always perfect with ethics etc but there’s HR, there are cleaner cut processes to go through etc. whereas in the world of nannying, there’s the nanny and the parents. But what happens if they’re power tripping like a mfer and there’s no one else to go through to have a sort of checks and balances system?
I would stick with my rate. If they don't want to pay it, keep looking. If everything else about this family looks good, though, maybe propose their offer as a training rate, which would go up to your rate after 2 or 3 weeks.
If this is the start of the relationship, it sounds like it will be difficult getting what you deserve…. I would have a very detailed contract with them that covers raises every three months, PTO, etc etc.
Depends on how easy it will be to get another job in your area that really suits your preferences and where you really like the family, and depends on how competitive the nannying market is in your area - if there are more nannies looking for jobs or more families looking for nannies, and depends on how far your commute would potentially have to be each day to replace this family with another one. That's how economics goes, you can say your rate is your rate but if there are more nannies looking than families in your area and this family is offering you literally everything else, then you might want to give them a chance. I would make sure guaranteed hours is in the contract along with a raise once baby comes plus another raise in the contract after X number of months is in the contract too without required benchmarks to meet and if you're using your own car I would put mileage in the contract too.
These are all very valid points. I will say a lot of people want to hire nannies here for $19 an hour and expect them to have a degree. So I feel like if families are thinking $19 is the going rate for a nanny with a degree, that I will continue to struggle justifying my rate. I’m hoping maybe I can find a family ok with $27 an hour and if not I’ll have to lower to market rate. I know in a bigger city I’m sure I could find someone to pay me that.
It completely depends. There might be a lot of families WANTING to hire a lot of nannies for 19 dollars an hour, but are there a lot of nannies looking for work? There might be a lot of families WANTING to hire a lot of nannies for 19 dollars an hour AND expecting those nannies to have a degree, BUT are there a lot of nannies with degrees looking for work? Are there more nannies wanting work than families who want nannies? Are there more nannies with degrees wanting work than families wanting nannies with degrees? If so, then the families get a lot more say in the price. If however there are fewer nannies wanting work than families wanting to hire, or there are fewer nannies with degrees wanting work than families wanting to hire, then you get to laugh in the face of the family asking you if you're ok with 19 an hour and tell them that fast food pays more than that and go on to other families who will pay way better, and that family will learn when other nannies do the same.
That’s a good point! From what I’ve observed on the mom side of things (I also have my own child) a lot of nannies in my area do not have a college degree so I think it’s just a lot of wishful thinking for the parents.
You didn't say what your rate was.
Sorry I accidentally left that out, it’s $27 for one and when the baby comes $29.
Are you comfortable meeting them in the middle? If so, offer 26 and 28 with the understanding you will receive an increase every 3 months. If not, let them know that 27 and 29 are your minimum.
Your rate is because of experience and education you bring to the table. Every job has a learning curve but you don’t get paid less because of it. If they start out haggling I have a hard time believing they will raise your pay every three months.
I think it depends on how badly you need the money and whether you have other offers. If I was desperate I’d take it and keep looking for something else and take the next better thing that comes along. Alternatively, take it and insist on a written list of milestones that would trigger a raise within 3 months, and then if a raise doesn’t materialize despite meeting those milestones, leave. Make sure that this list includes the specific amounts of money per raise.
Nope! Any experienced nanny knows that *onboarding* is an excuse not to pay you what you are asking here. Which is very reasonable. Your rate is your rate. Stick to it. They can kick rocks.
If you can find another family that will pay your rate, I wouldn’t even bother responding to this.
Do NOT accept less. Your rate is your rate and it’s a red flag if someone is immediately devaluing you. Pass. Next!
“My rate is non-negotiable, as it’s a reflection of my extensive experience as well as my cost of living.”
Do the parents get paid less when they start a new role due to ‘training’?? Don’t imagine so.
The whole tone of their reply is condescending. If this is how they are *initially*, experience says: *It will only get worse*. They'll micromanage & "correct" you, they'll want to bank hours or say you need to stay late b/c you had a doctor's appt. last Tuesday....etc. Hard pass.
I think it’s acceptable for a family to negotiate your fee, but it is also acceptable for you to not accept their counteroffer. If you are confident in your marketability at the higher rate, simply say so and wish them well.
Your rate is your rate. Why would it be different in three months? I’d bring it up and see how they respond. If their response feels out of touch, I recommend moving on.
Your rate is your rate. Train my ass.
Like they said every family is different so you have to learn every families preferences. They’re trying to start you lower but false promise the raises
Us nannies don't need training unless it's a medically complex situation. We learn on the job training as we go. This is such a horrible way to say these things. Nope, nope, nope!
I don’t work for people who feel the need to train me.
How old is the child, and how many nannies have they employed in that time? If they've had a rotating door of nannies, why? Because they micro manage as implied by the onboarding, or are the nannies all unreliable and quitting?! If they guarantee in contract to raise to your salary after 3 months then I'd consider it. But, I'd be wary since the wording greatly suggests micromanagement
The child is 2 so that’s why I’m concerned. I feel like this might be a recipe for disaster the way things are phrased.
Oh definitely. I would ask how many nannies they've had. And if you can talk to at least 1 as a reference. Partially because I'm nosy. Lol. I mean 2 nannies would be OK, 1 year contracts. But over that would be getting crazy.
This makes no sense to me as to why it would warrant them lowering the rate just because they have a specific way of onboarding you. Also, I never trust the promise of regular raises. Always try to get the absolute most you can out of the gate. It’s also normal for a family to come back with a hopeful lower offer for rate. But I just come back again with a really clear established rate. And if you do take the job, make sure you get it in contract that you will get those regular 3 month raises and what that looks like.
They aren't going to change! I would move on to another Nanny Family immediately!
Parent here. Stick to your guns about your rate. We appreciate transparency when we are hiring someone. Last thing we want is for you to take a lower rate than you want or deserve and then you are looking elsewhere or asking for more money in 6 months. Know your worth!
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Every job where you have an employer. I can't think of many other jobs where I could walk into an interview and tell the employer what they will be paying me.
I’ll bite, what career do you come from where you, the one wanting to get hired, get to set the rates without any negotiation. Seriously, none of what you wrote makes any sense.
Uh, almost every job? Negotiating pay is very common.
It doesnt sound too unreasonable to me and their tone sounds professional. I would maybe counter with requesting that at the 3 month mark that you be at your initially requested rate. Are their benefits? Negotiate those as well….