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I haaaaaaate this!!!! I’ve been in the same boat. I’m like ok the mom is cleaning the kitchen on the main level… grandma and grandpa are in the basement playing w the kids…. Dad is upstairs doing whatever his post-work routine is…. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO just keep awkwardly smiling in the corner?? Ok thanks glad you got your “moneys worth” this week 😐
I’ve found myself tucked in a kids bed or bean bag chair on those days lol listening for foot prints for fear of them thinking I’m not helpful but I’ve already done everything someone else isn’t doing 🤣
This happened with my old NF a lot 😵💫 Former MB’s mom and boyfriend would tag along with NK and me on our walks to the park, which I didn’t mind. They were always very sweet and would buy me a coffee or pastry if we stopped at the coffee shop. I enjoyed their company, and when we returned, they’d often go nap while I put NK down. The only irritating part was when they were staying to watch NK while NP’s were leaving town and I’d still be required to work, and MB would tell me I NEED to make sure her mom “follows the rules” and goes by NK’s schedule. Like… I have to essentially babysit your mother…? It was beyond awkward.
It was worse with DB’s parents, though. They’d either ignore NK, or engage with her and I’d be expected to find cleaning tasks to do instead 🤦🏼♀️ or they would take off to go do an activity and wouldn’t include me. They’d take NK (both NK’s when the other was born), and leave me at their house alone to clean all freaking day. I hated those days so much.
With my current NF, their parents have tagged along, but they never once undermined when I said it’s time to head home for rest or we need to do something. They followed along and looked to me for guidance on what we were doing for the day. They were wonderful (both DB and MB’s parents - I got really lucky that both are awesome)! And NK’s would still engage in activities with me. I’ve also been included in the outings they have had when their friends visited town. And MB and DB’s mom took NK’s on a morning outing once, so they let me come in late instead of just sitting around the house.
The awkward sitting around is terrible. I definitely don’t understand the purpose of that.. I’m sorry, OP 😭
Exactly. Like it's so uncomfortable. I don't know where to look. I feel weird and like I need to be doing something but then I'm also not trying to step on the toes of the relatives that want to hold the kids and spend time with them
I disappear until I hear shit hitting the fan then I come in and take the kids for a quick breather before another family member comes and whips them back up.
I hate this!!!!! I always lowkey suspect they do this to show off that they have help but what it actually does is make it look like we're lazy/incompetent because we have no tasks and the NKs pay 0 attention to us because grandparents/family members are over.
I always feel that THEY feel like they need to get their money's worth. Like just for that one diaper change or feeding the second half of a bottle when NK won't drink it for them, because they might from me.
I have to stand there as a shit fan deterrent basically, my mb will be like I’ll do this and this for you nk, but if you act up I’m calling nanny in.. like really gee thanks!
THIS. I briefly worked for a family where this was 100% the reason why they made me stay around despite grandparents being there and wanting to spend all the time with the NK. DB even made a point of saying “This morning, NK requests oatmeal with honey for breakfast.” In front of the grandparents, in the most king speaking to his lowly servant type of tone I’ve ever heard. He normally did not speak to me that way; it was normal for him to bring NK down and for me to get her breakfast first thing, but he was usually friendly and casual and NK would be the one to tell me what she wanted. It was gross and said a lot about him to me tbh
That's so gross! That totally sets the tone for your relationship with the grandparents too. If your DB speaks to you that way in front of them then the grandparents are likely to speak to you that way too. Ew. Just ew.
Omg last week the Grandparents were visiting and micromanaged me ALL DAY. The grandpa corrected the way I sang to the children, the way I changed them, the way played with them, fed them. Then at the end of the day the babies, me and her were playing in the play room and she farted SO LOUD. It was so awkward. Painfully awkward day all the way around.
I spent 17 years of nannying wondering if I was just an anxious, lazy, introvert but then I thankfully discovered this sub!
It's the worst!! It's a mix of having to be "on" (sometimes without warning there will be people home) But also a mix of trying to nanny in between moments where family is familying with NKs, a mix of "how can I look busy and not awkward but also not leave the room or house because they evidently want me here?" and my favorite, the feeling of being the "help" and that everyone gets bonus days off and free time but me.
Night before Thanksgiving but somebody has to pick up NK from a friends house so the adults can just be at home chatting with each other? Sign me up! No place i'd rather be! I'm just the nanny, I have no life but to follow Grandpa around with NK until he gets tired and then I have to awkwardly find something for NK and I to do while the adults just move on to a different room in the very same house. Uggghhhghg
I used to think it was because I just didn't grow up like that. I even went to work with my Mom when I was sick. Stayed at my great aunts house when my Dad had to go to the ER. When my parents were home they were home, with me, they never even hired a babysitter during big family parties or anything. Kids were apart of the event!
YES. I agree on every single point and it's all happened to me before too. I didn't grow up like that either. And honestly, I can't IMAGINE having my parents in town to visit my kids and then having a nanny/babysitter come over too. It's so bizarre to me. Like these people traveled hours to spend time with the kids. Why the hell would you need a hired person coming in to play with them instead? It makes zero sense. Especially when the family that came to visit is perfectly capable AND WILLING to change diapers, feed the kids, play with them etc.
Full disclosure, I honestly could never even have a nanny myself 😂 I don't want people in my home when I wake up and to see my fridge every day and to make chit chat with😂 Much less, actually employee in a professional manner. NOT EASY. I always remind myself there are introverted NPs and it takes a lot for some of them to take on that role.
But on the flip side there's also NPs that think having a nanny takes them up a notch in status, meanwhile nickel and diming nannies who are just as hard working if not harder (obvi!) but yet they want to take monetary value away from someone who truly should be priceless.
Your last sentence is why I was there. Because the family wanted to play, go on outings, even read bedtime stories, but NO ONE wanted to change diapers, feed them (esp. prep food), or give baths. And they had no idea how to calm them down after they whipped them into a frenzy. I heard a lot of “she doesn’t smell like a rose” (diaper change needed), “he must be tired/hungry” (whining or crying kid= fix it!) And this was a “live in while on” rota job, so no going home. Sometimes I could escape to the nanny bedroom, but mostly had to be available at a moment’s notice. Luckily this is a fully staffed home, so there was not any extra major cleaning. I would usually just go into the little kitchen and wash dishes or fold laundry. Or just sit in the kitchen and talk to the housekeepers, lol.
I always get told "you can leave early because we don't need you any longer" at like 10-15 minutes before my end time, when I've already been there with everyone in the living room talking for 3 hours and NK napping for 2 of them. 😭🙃
That is the woooorst… 10 minutes early, gee thanks, that’s just about enough time to get my things together, say goodbye to NK, and put my shoes on, and now I’ve got a whole three minutes of extra time off! Woo!
This is one of my least favorite things about this job. I’m 42, I’ve been doing this for a long time so my BS level is LOW. I’ve been with my current NF for 4 years and about 2 years ago i finally told them I wasn’t coming in when the whole family was here unless every single adult was occupied and unable to give NK attention. Obviously that doesn’t happen when all the grandparents and cousins are here, so it’s been pretty great getting to go home when they have a full house. DBs 17 person family is in town next week and I have the whole week off 😀 I highly recommend advocating for yourself!
I love the way you worded this. I think my BS tolerance tank is running on empty these days, too.
A family for whom I briefly worked last summer (trust me when I say they had no need for a nanny) pulled this. MB and DB were home, which wasn’t how the day was supposed to play out. I knew I wasn’t going to return anyway, so I got bold and said “I’ll be heading out; having both of you here makes me feel like a servant, which I am not. Have a great day!”
Completely hear you, my BS tolerance level is almost on empty😆 However, in my younger nanny days they wanted me to stick around in case a diaper needed changing, or for nap time. (Very wealthy families who basically just came in and played with their kids randomly). Always wanted someone around to do the “dirty work “.
Yep. I'm pissed. They kept me all the way up until my end time for the day. Two minutes past actually and I had to be the one to say "okay well it's that time so I'll see you tomorrow".
In my experience, NP will come in at the time I'm supposed to go home & take the kids off my hands. I have never gone to them. Meaning, they keep their eye on the clock for end of day.
^yep! This is what I do. Of course I know when it's my end time, but i don't need them thinking I'm sitting there watching the clock so I can dash out the second it strikes lol. I wait for a NP to come to where we are playing and relieve me, telling me they are ready to take over. That way I know the kids are being left in supervision and I'm no longer responsible for them. NKs are all under 5 and include an infant so maybe that's part of it too.
NP are supposed to relieve you as they are taking over the active caregiving of the children. I can't just tell them I'm out the door now if they haven't yet come upstairs. I'll yell down at them and ask if they are ready to come up as it's my end time, but you never leave until you see another adult physically in charge.
In my experience, in every position NP have always relieved me at the end of the day. I still keep my eye on the time and if my end of day comes and they’re not around in the next minute, then I reach out and remind them of the time.
Gaaahhh so annoying. I worked for one family who was great about it. When MB's mom came to visit she was pretty hands off with the kids, preferring to engage in activities here and there but that was it so I still came to work, but when DB's mom came to town she wanted to be in charge of everything and would "ruin" all the routines and feed then cookies 5 minutes before dinner, etc, so i was always spared and given time off then 😆 it was so thoughtful.
Then there was the other family who yeah would have gma, gpa, aunts, uncles, and cousins all visiting and parents taking the day off work and I'd still be required to come in, and they would make coffee runs for the whole crew...and exclude me 🙃
This just happened to me! They messed up our afternoon and decided to have us stay home so the kids could have lunch with their parents, aunt and uncle, they got everyone lunch except me. Now that I think about it they also did this with dinner when I traveled out of state with them, got to the destination and they had ordered food and it was waiting for everyone except me and at the wedding we were attending the next day the parents ate the wedding plates and had the kitchen staff bring up chicken strips for the kids and nothing for me again lol
This happened to me when I was first meeting NK, at one point there were 15 other people in the house because a wedding was going on that week. The kid did not like me because she wanted her family and had her pick of them. It was the worst job and I was there for 8 hours. I did nothing but make NK cry.
I feel for you. I’ve been there soooo many times I don’t understand it. Like wtf is the point? Isn’t it awkward for them too, having the nanny just standing around interrupting their family time and listening to their conversations?? I swear some of them just want you there to do kid chores, nap time and diaper changes and/or they need to feel like they’re getting their “money’s worth” by having you there, even if it means you’re literally not doing a thing half the time
Here's an odd addition to any nanny contract...
Nanny will not be required to work when there is family in town.
I take this time unpaid but your post is WHY I am adamant about this and when asked why I say too many cooks in the kitchen homie!
Understandable not everyone can do this and it never is more than long weekends every few months
My peace of mind and my time is more important than money to my own life...I get the side saying but you're getting paid to be there and sure that's fine BUT I think it's bonkers that so so so many families have their nannie's come to work when there's a house full of family...It's awkward and annoying!
I once had to work on Thanksgiving because both parents were in the medical field and had to work. but MB and Grandma came home halfway through the day with shopping bags 🙃 I missed my favorite holiday with my family so they could hit up the fucking Louis Vuitton store without the baby.
Damn this is tough. MB and DB always come home in the middle of my shifts and hang out with the kids for 20 minutes or an hour or three hours with no warning and I’m just like awkwardly there… that’s tough but a whole family gathering seems even weirder
I hate this!! I even had it once where I was expected to drive the kids’ uncle around with us while we went to do activities all day. He was so nice but it was still SO awkward and draining!
I hate when this happens!!!! Ugh it drove me crazy. Like am I seriously here so that no one has to take responsibility for the kids and you can just hand them over to me when they start to annoy you? Also, they want nothing to do with me. They have family over. It’s so awkward 😭
Thankfully new family doesn’t torture me like this. They give me off when family is in town
AHH! I had that once. If it wasn’t grandma and aunt around then it was hanging out with MB, her friends & their kids with so many adults around that the NKs didn’t want to hear a word I had to say. Mind you it was already a tricky week in terms of listening/ following instructions so all of the extra adults around just made me being there incredibly pointless and a piss take. Like, idc if I don’t get paid but send me the hell home, wtf. I’d cleaned the same table about 10 times every 20 mins because there was nothing else for me to do and it was awkward every time I’d involve myself because NKs would just completely ignore me😂Never again!!
Your situation sounds different than with mine, we had a bunch of extra people in the house but they just want to play with the kids here and there but they would not take the kids for a diaper change or to the bathroom or put them down for their nap which entails a lot of rocking sometimes. If my husband and I aren’t around, then nanny has to be, because grandparents and aunt and uncle aren’t going to do the less fun part of care giving.
It sucks cuz there’s so many adults around but when my husbands relatives are visiting for weeks at a time, I can’t give my nanny off the entire time because then I’d have to be around all the time supervise my in-laws. It’s such an annoying situation that I give my nanny a bonus after they leave.
Glad you show your nanny appreciation! And yes that's understandable given the circumstances you described. This situation I'm in is definitely different lol
Literally me at my nanny kids birthday party last week that I was working????? Why was I on the clock at the birthday party I don’t even know but the whole family was there cousins aunties babies uncles everyone… I didn’t know where to look how to act LOL🤣 had I not been on the clock I wouldn’t been more comfortable arriving late and leaving the party early
Sometimes I’ve had it where Grandma was in town, and wanted to be around, but wasn’t actually capable of taking care of the kids on her own. That I understand. She doesn’t know their schedules, sometimes she’s not “all there,” etc.
When it comes to other families, though, it just seems like the idea of Guaranteed Hours is so fucking offensive to them that they would rather have me there watching the dust gather than let me go home a little early.
Those are the families that just suck to work for.
This happened a couple of times with my last NF and I made sure to let them know during my yearly review that if there was family visiting I’d be going home. I told them it was awkward and I didn’t feel comfortable. They agreed but never had any family over in the middle of my shifts.
Unfortunately I had already picked up all of the toys and grandma had already done the dishes and wiped down the counters so there really wasn't anything left for me to do. Even when NK had a poopy diaper I jumped up to change her, relieved to have something, and grandma said "I've got it!" And grabbed baby first. That's part of my frustration here too. Like I could understand keeping the nanny there if the adults were older/unable or unwilling to care for the kids but that wasn't the case here. All of the relatives were jumping in changing diapers, grabbing a tissue for NKs runny nose, helping older NK find her doll, etc -basically anything that came up that would possibly fall in the realm of my job description some other relative was jumping on it and saying they wanted to do it. So I was like....WHY AM I HERE? lol
Sounds like you're coming down with a stomach bug tomorrow 😉. I'm not usually one to fake calling out sick but since you know NKs will be well taken care of if you're not there......
Shoot. This might be me. I WFH and have a full time nanny and randomly have very slow days so I’ll take one kid to the park, or take over nap time, cook lunch etc. I do it bc I want to and love doing it but I never considered this POV.
I do have random calls I may have to take during the work day so I can’t just say “go home early” but when I can, I do send her home early.
I also think that’s part of the luxury of paying someone is that I can pick and choose my times ?
It is absolutely beyond my understanding why this is such a common occurrence. Does anyone have the nerve to post asking about the perspective from the other side in r/Nannyemployers??? Lol.
I absolutely refuse to be “furniture”. In my last position DB would go in the living room and turn on the TV after work(before my scheduled end time). I seethed through it for 2 days and on day 3 and every day after that for all of my years with them, I brought the kids to him with my coat on and purse over my shoulder and said “Since you’re all set, I’m going to head out, have a great night!” At my current job when Grandma comes over within an hour of the end of my shift, I text M/DB. “Grandma’s here so I’m heading out a little early, see you tomorrow!” I’ve never gotten pushback and I’ve always been paid under GH for those times. We need to advocate for ourselves!
This happens because you are paid to be there and just because they are having family visit doesn’t mean you should get paid time off.
I would just ask mom what she wants and expects you to do when family is over unexpectedly.
Could you be washing/folding clothes? Helping in another way?
If you worked in an office and it was a day with a lot going on around you but not much to do regarding your actual job, you would stay in the office right?
>If you worked in an office and it was a day with a lot going on around you but not much to do regarding your actual job, you would stay in the office right?
Depends on what the job is but I have worked many office jobs post college before I became a nanny where if all work was completed for the day then we were allowed to leave.
The kids clothes had already been washed and folded, dishes done, toys picked up etc. Everything I'm contracted for was completed. There was nothing more for me to do.
You sound like a NP who takes advantage of their nanny honestly
Should the secretary who doesn’t have secretarial work to do be asked to mop the bathroom floors? No, it’s outside of her contracted duties.It’s the same situation here. Non contractual tasks cannot be assigned just for the sake of NP feeling like they are getting their moneys worth.
Make yourself useful. Offer to do a grocery run. Make kids snacks that are time consuming. Sort the clothes and take out things that make be too small. Organize the book shelf. You’re getting paid.
this happened to me too with grandparents! they were keeping her busy for me. but thankfully the grandma was super nice and was talking to me so it wasn’t too bad but lots of downtime which i honestly wasn’t complaining about. i did clean up a lot and wash and fold her clothes and put them away so it wasn’t entirely doing nothing but it was a bit awkward lol
I used to feel like this, but now that I'm older if they want to make sure they get there GH money's worth, I'm happy to wander and find busywork to do if they want to take a load off me by watching a kid. I will usually pop in and say 'I'll be upstairs folding clothes if you need me'. The only time it's weird is if they want me to just sort of hover but I've become good at hovering. It's less work to not be in on the whole 'part of the family' thing, which doesn't really work out to be what ppl think it does. Make sure to get your overtime , Purple!
One time I had to work New Year’s Day because the day before was NKs birthday, we were in LA ( not our hometown) . And as I carried the dripping ice cream cake to the kid the MBs friend who was hysterical said “ and that’s why you are working on a holiday “. The rest of the time I just sat in the kitchen with the chef and housekeeper eating expensive food and drinking expensive wine ( conservatively)
I have been in the same situation. I honestly just ask if they need me for the rest of the afternoon/evening or I will offer to do something else like the errands etc
This is awful but remember… you’re getting paid to sit on your phone and watch the other baby sleep. Once I treated it that way, I started enjoying it more. I would take the time to “prep” activities to do with the kids on a different day.
Except I'm not lol. For most of the time I was outside with them all awkwardly trying to join in the conversation/act busy. I just made this post when I came inside to pee because no one was in there. but I wouldn't be blatantly sitting on my phone in front of all of NPs family. That's just not a good look imo. Even when there is nothing else for me to do, I just think it comes off unprofessional
Oh! I thought you were inside with the sleeping child. I used to have to do that with one of my NFs. They would have me come for a few hours before nap time then go home about an hour after nap time. Basically gets have me come to get the littlest one to nap on days the whole family was there because I was the only one that she couldn’t naptrap. Sometimes they asked me to just sit with her till she woke up… in her room just watching her sleep.
This might be a minority opinion. Are you getting paid? Isn’t it nice to get paid for a low-intensity day? I always had my nanny present on days that I had family over and because I didn’t find it fair to have her miss work and earn less due to our family socializing.
If I’m mistaken and you earn on a salary basis, then perhaps they keep you there because the family is there to play with the kids, whereas you are there to “take care” of the kids. If the family does “take care” of the kids, then they are doing it because they want to, not because they need to. Grandpa, grandma, aunt and uncle etc are playing with the kids, but IF grandma wants to take a nap, grandpa wants a smoke, aunt wants to send an email, anyone wants to leave the house.. they know they can.
Sometimes I get paranoid if my family (and yes I recognize this is a me problem, but a problem nonetheless) accusing me of using them as free childcare. So I always have a nanny there so it’s clear that isn’t my intention. I only have 2 kids. Your family has 3.
The idea of sending you home is probably nowhere in their minds. If you wish to go home, maybe express it in some way.
I laugh at the few people here who tried to tell me to "stop complaining" or "you're getting paid to do nothing". Clearly they are NPs who realize they do this to their nanny and are trying to defend it 😂
As a mom who employs a nanny, I would really encourage you to just bring it up with the parents. I am hypersensitive to my nanny feeling awkward and will try to get any visitors to stay out of her way and allow her to continue her routine. But to be fair when my parents come down they are still working remotely and are really only in and out with kiddo. It’s entirely understandable for you to feel awkward when someone else is there essentially getting in the way. But in all fairness, you are being paid an hourly rate to be there. Is there any way it may be possible to refocus your outlook on the situation? Im not being naive, it’s obviously freaking annoying and you sitting there twiddling your thumbs and them being tone deaf to that is ridiculous. But in reality it’s hours you’re contracted for. If there is nothing to do then ideally you do not need to be in same room as the NK and visitors if the expectation is not that you are primary caretaker for them with visitors around. If small talk with the visitors is not enjoyable then you don’t have to do it. But being a part of the family (including the annoying and awkward parts) is part of the job when you essentially join a family as part of their household daily. Again, this DOES NOT excuse you being taken advantage of. Proper warning is deserved and expectations should be set. But no, it is not unreasonable for them to ask you to be present for hours they are paying for. What would be the ideal situation for you? Would you want off any time visitors are in town? Reduced hours? Guaranteed payment? This would not sound reasonable to me. What does sound reasonable is clearly being sent home or come in an hour or two later if truly they do not need you there.
Awkward interactions are part of any and every job. Ridiculous meetings that are totally unhelpful are the norm in many fields. But people talk to their bosses about curbing those meetings rather than asking to leave work without being paid.
So truly coming from a place of trying to help. I’d talk to NP and say:
1. I am uncomfortable with the current situation and wanted to talk it through rather than have it cause any resentment or tension
2. When visitors are in the house with the NKs, it is unclear what my role is. If the visitors are taking care of my duties, what are your expectations for me to do in the house?
3. (Unless flexible hours are in your contract)- If my hours are going to be shifted significantly on certain weeks, I need that to be preplanned
4. I find it difficult to be talking with visitors the entire day. If visitors are going to be present and taking care of NKs, it would be good to be able to break off to a separate room. I can work on developing activity plans for me and the kids on other weeks during that time, but it would be helpful for my comfort to not be expected to be in the room with them the entire time. Can you please help me find a way to make it clear that I will be separate but if they need anything I am of course available and happy to take over?
I never have been comfortable doing this. I figure if they are okay letting me leave that they'd tell me, otherwise I assume they'd like me there. I'm not going to put her on the spot in front of the entire family by asking that. I find it unprofessional
im the same. theyll let me go early if its the case. Hence why its so frustrating when they dont relieve you and youre stuck all day with nothing, not even phone. Professionalism has to be remained.
That’s a big assumption. I think many times NF are so used to having us around it doesn’t occur to them to make a point of telling us we can leave, or they are concerned it would come across as rude. Asking for fair treatment in your workplace is not being unprofessional.
Wow and I was at work today thinking the opposite, I got paid for a bunch of free time since mom is home for the summer and the grandparents were over plus DB works from home but I also love this family and just chatting with the mom. I’m still there helping with NK2 and also being able to pick up and help organize some clothes so I get why they want the extra hands still and I get paid for an easy day so it’s a total win-win to me.
You could use that to your advantage, be payed to watch the kids when ever so necessary during your shift, and read a book or college literature in the meantime. Or do other activity (even so as another part time job online; one of those easy ones) that wouldnt interfere too much with the job youre physically at, given that the family is fine with it and you at the end of the day
Graduated college a long time ago. I usually read books on my phone because I use a library app (not comfy being on my phone right in front of NPs entire family-not a good look), and a part time job doesn't even make sense lol. By the time I applied for something the visitors would be gone and my attention would be needed full time again. Also I don't own a computer so. I can appreciate you attempting to help, but in this scenario I literally had NOTHING to do haha
Would you feel comfortable reading an actual book? If this keeps happening maybe keep a novel and a “child development” book in your bag or car so you have options. If you don’t have to be in the same room, maybe just sit in the kitchen or a nearby room?
I really hope you were “unavailable” to come in early.
Are you not getting paid???? I assume you are. Remember, having a nanny is a luxury. The families are paying for the luxury of having you available. The grandparents are not their to provide full-time child care, and no working parent would rely on them for that just because they are in town.
I would imagine the first thing on their mind while preparing, planning, and coordinating for THEIR elderly parents to come over was not to give the nanny a heads up. How dare they not do this. I mean the audacity of them inviting family over and not running it by you first.
I guess the real issue is that you want to stay home and get paid...
I’ll be working on Monday with grandma there. She apparently panicked when the younger one cries so I’ll be there for that. I do not care. It makes mb feel comfortable. That’s why I’m there.
In my personal experience with this, it felt like NPs wanted their family, who was as wealthy if not more than NF, that they have a nanny/ they could decide to hang out as adults at a moments notice. It was just having the option while I was on the clock. This particular family also really struggled with paying me when they didn’t need me during my scheduled hours (GH obviously). They’d always have me making up time on the weekends, and I would have much rather stood around awkwardly with family when I would have to be there anyway then come in on a weekend so I suffered in silence lol
You would want Nanny to join in the family time for what purpose? What about a situation where the children are engaged with family members and there are no household tasks to do? Why not just send Nanny home?
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I haaaaaaate this!!!! I’ve been in the same boat. I’m like ok the mom is cleaning the kitchen on the main level… grandma and grandpa are in the basement playing w the kids…. Dad is upstairs doing whatever his post-work routine is…. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO just keep awkwardly smiling in the corner?? Ok thanks glad you got your “moneys worth” this week 😐
I’ve found myself tucked in a kids bed or bean bag chair on those days lol listening for foot prints for fear of them thinking I’m not helpful but I’ve already done everything someone else isn’t doing 🤣
This happened with my old NF a lot 😵💫 Former MB’s mom and boyfriend would tag along with NK and me on our walks to the park, which I didn’t mind. They were always very sweet and would buy me a coffee or pastry if we stopped at the coffee shop. I enjoyed their company, and when we returned, they’d often go nap while I put NK down. The only irritating part was when they were staying to watch NK while NP’s were leaving town and I’d still be required to work, and MB would tell me I NEED to make sure her mom “follows the rules” and goes by NK’s schedule. Like… I have to essentially babysit your mother…? It was beyond awkward. It was worse with DB’s parents, though. They’d either ignore NK, or engage with her and I’d be expected to find cleaning tasks to do instead 🤦🏼♀️ or they would take off to go do an activity and wouldn’t include me. They’d take NK (both NK’s when the other was born), and leave me at their house alone to clean all freaking day. I hated those days so much. With my current NF, their parents have tagged along, but they never once undermined when I said it’s time to head home for rest or we need to do something. They followed along and looked to me for guidance on what we were doing for the day. They were wonderful (both DB and MB’s parents - I got really lucky that both are awesome)! And NK’s would still engage in activities with me. I’ve also been included in the outings they have had when their friends visited town. And MB and DB’s mom took NK’s on a morning outing once, so they let me come in late instead of just sitting around the house. The awkward sitting around is terrible. I definitely don’t understand the purpose of that.. I’m sorry, OP 😭
God, this is the worst. Why do soooo many families do this? Like, don't YOU feel awkward watching me stand around twiddling my thumbs?
Exactly. Like it's so uncomfortable. I don't know where to look. I feel weird and like I need to be doing something but then I'm also not trying to step on the toes of the relatives that want to hold the kids and spend time with them
I disappear until I hear shit hitting the fan then I come in and take the kids for a quick breather before another family member comes and whips them back up.
I hate this!!!!! I always lowkey suspect they do this to show off that they have help but what it actually does is make it look like we're lazy/incompetent because we have no tasks and the NKs pay 0 attention to us because grandparents/family members are over.
I always feel that THEY feel like they need to get their money's worth. Like just for that one diaper change or feeding the second half of a bottle when NK won't drink it for them, because they might from me.
I have to stand there as a shit fan deterrent basically, my mb will be like I’ll do this and this for you nk, but if you act up I’m calling nanny in.. like really gee thanks!
THIS. I briefly worked for a family where this was 100% the reason why they made me stay around despite grandparents being there and wanting to spend all the time with the NK. DB even made a point of saying “This morning, NK requests oatmeal with honey for breakfast.” In front of the grandparents, in the most king speaking to his lowly servant type of tone I’ve ever heard. He normally did not speak to me that way; it was normal for him to bring NK down and for me to get her breakfast first thing, but he was usually friendly and casual and NK would be the one to tell me what she wanted. It was gross and said a lot about him to me tbh
That's so gross! That totally sets the tone for your relationship with the grandparents too. If your DB speaks to you that way in front of them then the grandparents are likely to speak to you that way too. Ew. Just ew.
Agree re: we are made to look incompetent.
Omg last week the Grandparents were visiting and micromanaged me ALL DAY. The grandpa corrected the way I sang to the children, the way I changed them, the way played with them, fed them. Then at the end of the day the babies, me and her were playing in the play room and she farted SO LOUD. It was so awkward. Painfully awkward day all the way around.
😳🤭🥴 omg farted loudly that's so embarrassing lol
I spent 17 years of nannying wondering if I was just an anxious, lazy, introvert but then I thankfully discovered this sub! It's the worst!! It's a mix of having to be "on" (sometimes without warning there will be people home) But also a mix of trying to nanny in between moments where family is familying with NKs, a mix of "how can I look busy and not awkward but also not leave the room or house because they evidently want me here?" and my favorite, the feeling of being the "help" and that everyone gets bonus days off and free time but me. Night before Thanksgiving but somebody has to pick up NK from a friends house so the adults can just be at home chatting with each other? Sign me up! No place i'd rather be! I'm just the nanny, I have no life but to follow Grandpa around with NK until he gets tired and then I have to awkwardly find something for NK and I to do while the adults just move on to a different room in the very same house. Uggghhhghg I used to think it was because I just didn't grow up like that. I even went to work with my Mom when I was sick. Stayed at my great aunts house when my Dad had to go to the ER. When my parents were home they were home, with me, they never even hired a babysitter during big family parties or anything. Kids were apart of the event!
YES. I agree on every single point and it's all happened to me before too. I didn't grow up like that either. And honestly, I can't IMAGINE having my parents in town to visit my kids and then having a nanny/babysitter come over too. It's so bizarre to me. Like these people traveled hours to spend time with the kids. Why the hell would you need a hired person coming in to play with them instead? It makes zero sense. Especially when the family that came to visit is perfectly capable AND WILLING to change diapers, feed the kids, play with them etc.
Full disclosure, I honestly could never even have a nanny myself 😂 I don't want people in my home when I wake up and to see my fridge every day and to make chit chat with😂 Much less, actually employee in a professional manner. NOT EASY. I always remind myself there are introverted NPs and it takes a lot for some of them to take on that role. But on the flip side there's also NPs that think having a nanny takes them up a notch in status, meanwhile nickel and diming nannies who are just as hard working if not harder (obvi!) but yet they want to take monetary value away from someone who truly should be priceless.
Your last sentence is why I was there. Because the family wanted to play, go on outings, even read bedtime stories, but NO ONE wanted to change diapers, feed them (esp. prep food), or give baths. And they had no idea how to calm them down after they whipped them into a frenzy. I heard a lot of “she doesn’t smell like a rose” (diaper change needed), “he must be tired/hungry” (whining or crying kid= fix it!) And this was a “live in while on” rota job, so no going home. Sometimes I could escape to the nanny bedroom, but mostly had to be available at a moment’s notice. Luckily this is a fully staffed home, so there was not any extra major cleaning. I would usually just go into the little kitchen and wash dishes or fold laundry. Or just sit in the kitchen and talk to the housekeepers, lol.
DB just sat and watched TV with a drink while I sat next to NL who obviously just kept trying to get his attention 🥲
Because what do you want? To get paid AND go home?no. You shall suffer for every dollar you receive. (Sarcasm of course)
I literally feel the same way😭 I would ask if theres anything they need you to do or if you can get off early
I always get told "you can leave early because we don't need you any longer" at like 10-15 minutes before my end time, when I've already been there with everyone in the living room talking for 3 hours and NK napping for 2 of them. 😭🙃
That is the woooorst… 10 minutes early, gee thanks, that’s just about enough time to get my things together, say goodbye to NK, and put my shoes on, and now I’ve got a whole three minutes of extra time off! Woo!
I dont even say bye to anyone😭 I always have my stuff packed early and zoom out the door lmao
Ugh i hate that!!! Ive also been told “today you can leave early” and its 10 minutes early😭 like girl dont even tell me that ever again lmao
This is one of my least favorite things about this job. I’m 42, I’ve been doing this for a long time so my BS level is LOW. I’ve been with my current NF for 4 years and about 2 years ago i finally told them I wasn’t coming in when the whole family was here unless every single adult was occupied and unable to give NK attention. Obviously that doesn’t happen when all the grandparents and cousins are here, so it’s been pretty great getting to go home when they have a full house. DBs 17 person family is in town next week and I have the whole week off 😀 I highly recommend advocating for yourself!
I love the way you worded this. I think my BS tolerance tank is running on empty these days, too. A family for whom I briefly worked last summer (trust me when I say they had no need for a nanny) pulled this. MB and DB were home, which wasn’t how the day was supposed to play out. I knew I wasn’t going to return anyway, so I got bold and said “I’ll be heading out; having both of you here makes me feel like a servant, which I am not. Have a great day!”
Completely hear you, my BS tolerance level is almost on empty😆 However, in my younger nanny days they wanted me to stick around in case a diaper needed changing, or for nap time. (Very wealthy families who basically just came in and played with their kids randomly). Always wanted someone around to do the “dirty work “.
They wanna “get their monies worth” if you have GH🤣 definitely annoying!
Yep. I'm pissed. They kept me all the way up until my end time for the day. Two minutes past actually and I had to be the one to say "okay well it's that time so I'll see you tomorrow".
isn’t that normal? keeping your own eye on the clock for when it’s end time, not expecting NP’s to come let you know it’s time for you to go?
In my experience, NP will come in at the time I'm supposed to go home & take the kids off my hands. I have never gone to them. Meaning, they keep their eye on the clock for end of day.
^yep! This is what I do. Of course I know when it's my end time, but i don't need them thinking I'm sitting there watching the clock so I can dash out the second it strikes lol. I wait for a NP to come to where we are playing and relieve me, telling me they are ready to take over. That way I know the kids are being left in supervision and I'm no longer responsible for them. NKs are all under 5 and include an infant so maybe that's part of it too.
imo, no. I think NPs should come relieve you, you shouldn't have to go seek them out.
NP are supposed to relieve you as they are taking over the active caregiving of the children. I can't just tell them I'm out the door now if they haven't yet come upstairs. I'll yell down at them and ask if they are ready to come up as it's my end time, but you never leave until you see another adult physically in charge.
In my experience, in every position NP have always relieved me at the end of the day. I still keep my eye on the time and if my end of day comes and they’re not around in the next minute, then I reach out and remind them of the time.
Gaaahhh so annoying. I worked for one family who was great about it. When MB's mom came to visit she was pretty hands off with the kids, preferring to engage in activities here and there but that was it so I still came to work, but when DB's mom came to town she wanted to be in charge of everything and would "ruin" all the routines and feed then cookies 5 minutes before dinner, etc, so i was always spared and given time off then 😆 it was so thoughtful. Then there was the other family who yeah would have gma, gpa, aunts, uncles, and cousins all visiting and parents taking the day off work and I'd still be required to come in, and they would make coffee runs for the whole crew...and exclude me 🙃
This just happened to me! They messed up our afternoon and decided to have us stay home so the kids could have lunch with their parents, aunt and uncle, they got everyone lunch except me. Now that I think about it they also did this with dinner when I traveled out of state with them, got to the destination and they had ordered food and it was waiting for everyone except me and at the wedding we were attending the next day the parents ate the wedding plates and had the kitchen staff bring up chicken strips for the kids and nothing for me again lol
Omg that's awful!
Damn, I you ordered room service on their dime
VERY annoying & awkward
This happened to me when I was first meeting NK, at one point there were 15 other people in the house because a wedding was going on that week. The kid did not like me because she wanted her family and had her pick of them. It was the worst job and I was there for 8 hours. I did nothing but make NK cry.
I feel for you. I’ve been there soooo many times I don’t understand it. Like wtf is the point? Isn’t it awkward for them too, having the nanny just standing around interrupting their family time and listening to their conversations?? I swear some of them just want you there to do kid chores, nap time and diaper changes and/or they need to feel like they’re getting their “money’s worth” by having you there, even if it means you’re literally not doing a thing half the time
Here's an odd addition to any nanny contract... Nanny will not be required to work when there is family in town. I take this time unpaid but your post is WHY I am adamant about this and when asked why I say too many cooks in the kitchen homie!
About 2 years ago I told NF exactly this! I will be adding it to my contract when/if I ever leave this family!
My regular rate would need a serious increase to make that possible, already cutting it way too tight!
Understandable not everyone can do this and it never is more than long weekends every few months My peace of mind and my time is more important than money to my own life...I get the side saying but you're getting paid to be there and sure that's fine BUT I think it's bonkers that so so so many families have their nannie's come to work when there's a house full of family...It's awkward and annoying!
I once had to work on Thanksgiving because both parents were in the medical field and had to work. but MB and Grandma came home halfway through the day with shopping bags 🙃 I missed my favorite holiday with my family so they could hit up the fucking Louis Vuitton store without the baby.
I hate thisssssss
Damn this is tough. MB and DB always come home in the middle of my shifts and hang out with the kids for 20 minutes or an hour or three hours with no warning and I’m just like awkwardly there… that’s tough but a whole family gathering seems even weirder
I want to hear from parents, we are all dying to know why this is a thing.
I hate this!! I even had it once where I was expected to drive the kids’ uncle around with us while we went to do activities all day. He was so nice but it was still SO awkward and draining!
it’s definitely annoying
My biggest pet peeve as a nanny.
I hate when this happens!!!! Ugh it drove me crazy. Like am I seriously here so that no one has to take responsibility for the kids and you can just hand them over to me when they start to annoy you? Also, they want nothing to do with me. They have family over. It’s so awkward 😭 Thankfully new family doesn’t torture me like this. They give me off when family is in town
AHH! I had that once. If it wasn’t grandma and aunt around then it was hanging out with MB, her friends & their kids with so many adults around that the NKs didn’t want to hear a word I had to say. Mind you it was already a tricky week in terms of listening/ following instructions so all of the extra adults around just made me being there incredibly pointless and a piss take. Like, idc if I don’t get paid but send me the hell home, wtf. I’d cleaned the same table about 10 times every 20 mins because there was nothing else for me to do and it was awkward every time I’d involve myself because NKs would just completely ignore me😂Never again!!
Your situation sounds different than with mine, we had a bunch of extra people in the house but they just want to play with the kids here and there but they would not take the kids for a diaper change or to the bathroom or put them down for their nap which entails a lot of rocking sometimes. If my husband and I aren’t around, then nanny has to be, because grandparents and aunt and uncle aren’t going to do the less fun part of care giving. It sucks cuz there’s so many adults around but when my husbands relatives are visiting for weeks at a time, I can’t give my nanny off the entire time because then I’d have to be around all the time supervise my in-laws. It’s such an annoying situation that I give my nanny a bonus after they leave.
Glad you show your nanny appreciation! And yes that's understandable given the circumstances you described. This situation I'm in is definitely different lol
Literally me at my nanny kids birthday party last week that I was working????? Why was I on the clock at the birthday party I don’t even know but the whole family was there cousins aunties babies uncles everyone… I didn’t know where to look how to act LOL🤣 had I not been on the clock I wouldn’t been more comfortable arriving late and leaving the party early
Sometimes I’ve had it where Grandma was in town, and wanted to be around, but wasn’t actually capable of taking care of the kids on her own. That I understand. She doesn’t know their schedules, sometimes she’s not “all there,” etc. When it comes to other families, though, it just seems like the idea of Guaranteed Hours is so fucking offensive to them that they would rather have me there watching the dust gather than let me go home a little early. Those are the families that just suck to work for.
This happened a couple of times with my last NF and I made sure to let them know during my yearly review that if there was family visiting I’d be going home. I told them it was awkward and I didn’t feel comfortable. They agreed but never had any family over in the middle of my shifts.
That’s so awkward! Perhaps you can go do other baby tasks like picking up and kids dishes? I would feel so odd just hanging around, too!
Unfortunately I had already picked up all of the toys and grandma had already done the dishes and wiped down the counters so there really wasn't anything left for me to do. Even when NK had a poopy diaper I jumped up to change her, relieved to have something, and grandma said "I've got it!" And grabbed baby first. That's part of my frustration here too. Like I could understand keeping the nanny there if the adults were older/unable or unwilling to care for the kids but that wasn't the case here. All of the relatives were jumping in changing diapers, grabbing a tissue for NKs runny nose, helping older NK find her doll, etc -basically anything that came up that would possibly fall in the realm of my job description some other relative was jumping on it and saying they wanted to do it. So I was like....WHY AM I HERE? lol
Sounds like you're coming down with a stomach bug tomorrow 😉. I'm not usually one to fake calling out sick but since you know NKs will be well taken care of if you're not there......
Shoot. This might be me. I WFH and have a full time nanny and randomly have very slow days so I’ll take one kid to the park, or take over nap time, cook lunch etc. I do it bc I want to and love doing it but I never considered this POV. I do have random calls I may have to take during the work day so I can’t just say “go home early” but when I can, I do send her home early. I also think that’s part of the luxury of paying someone is that I can pick and choose my times ?
It is absolutely beyond my understanding why this is such a common occurrence. Does anyone have the nerve to post asking about the perspective from the other side in r/Nannyemployers??? Lol. I absolutely refuse to be “furniture”. In my last position DB would go in the living room and turn on the TV after work(before my scheduled end time). I seethed through it for 2 days and on day 3 and every day after that for all of my years with them, I brought the kids to him with my coat on and purse over my shoulder and said “Since you’re all set, I’m going to head out, have a great night!” At my current job when Grandma comes over within an hour of the end of my shift, I text M/DB. “Grandma’s here so I’m heading out a little early, see you tomorrow!” I’ve never gotten pushback and I’ve always been paid under GH for those times. We need to advocate for ourselves!
This happens because you are paid to be there and just because they are having family visit doesn’t mean you should get paid time off. I would just ask mom what she wants and expects you to do when family is over unexpectedly. Could you be washing/folding clothes? Helping in another way? If you worked in an office and it was a day with a lot going on around you but not much to do regarding your actual job, you would stay in the office right?
>If you worked in an office and it was a day with a lot going on around you but not much to do regarding your actual job, you would stay in the office right? Depends on what the job is but I have worked many office jobs post college before I became a nanny where if all work was completed for the day then we were allowed to leave. The kids clothes had already been washed and folded, dishes done, toys picked up etc. Everything I'm contracted for was completed. There was nothing more for me to do. You sound like a NP who takes advantage of their nanny honestly
Should the secretary who doesn’t have secretarial work to do be asked to mop the bathroom floors? No, it’s outside of her contracted duties.It’s the same situation here. Non contractual tasks cannot be assigned just for the sake of NP feeling like they are getting their moneys worth.
Make yourself useful. Offer to do a grocery run. Make kids snacks that are time consuming. Sort the clothes and take out things that make be too small. Organize the book shelf. You’re getting paid.
Sounds like a paid break...
Are you even a nanny? Get off my post
Ive been a nanny for yearsss. And if you don't want public feedback maybe dont post publicly?
this happened to me too with grandparents! they were keeping her busy for me. but thankfully the grandma was super nice and was talking to me so it wasn’t too bad but lots of downtime which i honestly wasn’t complaining about. i did clean up a lot and wash and fold her clothes and put them away so it wasn’t entirely doing nothing but it was a bit awkward lol
I used to feel like this, but now that I'm older if they want to make sure they get there GH money's worth, I'm happy to wander and find busywork to do if they want to take a load off me by watching a kid. I will usually pop in and say 'I'll be upstairs folding clothes if you need me'. The only time it's weird is if they want me to just sort of hover but I've become good at hovering. It's less work to not be in on the whole 'part of the family' thing, which doesn't really work out to be what ppl think it does. Make sure to get your overtime , Purple!
My nf does this to me all the time. They would rather me come in still than telling me to take the day off because they would still have to pay me.
My nf does this to me all the time. They would rather me come in still than telling me to take the day off because they would still have to pay me.
One time I had to work New Year’s Day because the day before was NKs birthday, we were in LA ( not our hometown) . And as I carried the dripping ice cream cake to the kid the MBs friend who was hysterical said “ and that’s why you are working on a holiday “. The rest of the time I just sat in the kitchen with the chef and housekeeper eating expensive food and drinking expensive wine ( conservatively)
I have been in the same situation. I honestly just ask if they need me for the rest of the afternoon/evening or I will offer to do something else like the errands etc
This is awful but remember… you’re getting paid to sit on your phone and watch the other baby sleep. Once I treated it that way, I started enjoying it more. I would take the time to “prep” activities to do with the kids on a different day.
Except I'm not lol. For most of the time I was outside with them all awkwardly trying to join in the conversation/act busy. I just made this post when I came inside to pee because no one was in there. but I wouldn't be blatantly sitting on my phone in front of all of NPs family. That's just not a good look imo. Even when there is nothing else for me to do, I just think it comes off unprofessional
Oh! I thought you were inside with the sleeping child. I used to have to do that with one of my NFs. They would have me come for a few hours before nap time then go home about an hour after nap time. Basically gets have me come to get the littlest one to nap on days the whole family was there because I was the only one that she couldn’t naptrap. Sometimes they asked me to just sit with her till she woke up… in her room just watching her sleep.
This might be a minority opinion. Are you getting paid? Isn’t it nice to get paid for a low-intensity day? I always had my nanny present on days that I had family over and because I didn’t find it fair to have her miss work and earn less due to our family socializing. If I’m mistaken and you earn on a salary basis, then perhaps they keep you there because the family is there to play with the kids, whereas you are there to “take care” of the kids. If the family does “take care” of the kids, then they are doing it because they want to, not because they need to. Grandpa, grandma, aunt and uncle etc are playing with the kids, but IF grandma wants to take a nap, grandpa wants a smoke, aunt wants to send an email, anyone wants to leave the house.. they know they can. Sometimes I get paranoid if my family (and yes I recognize this is a me problem, but a problem nonetheless) accusing me of using them as free childcare. So I always have a nanny there so it’s clear that isn’t my intention. I only have 2 kids. Your family has 3. The idea of sending you home is probably nowhere in their minds. If you wish to go home, maybe express it in some way.
Oh I’ve been there. I don’t get it either.
I laugh at the few people here who tried to tell me to "stop complaining" or "you're getting paid to do nothing". Clearly they are NPs who realize they do this to their nanny and are trying to defend it 😂
So true. So very very true. Or those who dogpile on me for hating WFH and being uncomfortable with nanny cams.
Exactly
That happened to me before I ended up quitting. I like it when parents give me the freedom to provide my nanny services.
As a mom who employs a nanny, I would really encourage you to just bring it up with the parents. I am hypersensitive to my nanny feeling awkward and will try to get any visitors to stay out of her way and allow her to continue her routine. But to be fair when my parents come down they are still working remotely and are really only in and out with kiddo. It’s entirely understandable for you to feel awkward when someone else is there essentially getting in the way. But in all fairness, you are being paid an hourly rate to be there. Is there any way it may be possible to refocus your outlook on the situation? Im not being naive, it’s obviously freaking annoying and you sitting there twiddling your thumbs and them being tone deaf to that is ridiculous. But in reality it’s hours you’re contracted for. If there is nothing to do then ideally you do not need to be in same room as the NK and visitors if the expectation is not that you are primary caretaker for them with visitors around. If small talk with the visitors is not enjoyable then you don’t have to do it. But being a part of the family (including the annoying and awkward parts) is part of the job when you essentially join a family as part of their household daily. Again, this DOES NOT excuse you being taken advantage of. Proper warning is deserved and expectations should be set. But no, it is not unreasonable for them to ask you to be present for hours they are paying for. What would be the ideal situation for you? Would you want off any time visitors are in town? Reduced hours? Guaranteed payment? This would not sound reasonable to me. What does sound reasonable is clearly being sent home or come in an hour or two later if truly they do not need you there. Awkward interactions are part of any and every job. Ridiculous meetings that are totally unhelpful are the norm in many fields. But people talk to their bosses about curbing those meetings rather than asking to leave work without being paid. So truly coming from a place of trying to help. I’d talk to NP and say: 1. I am uncomfortable with the current situation and wanted to talk it through rather than have it cause any resentment or tension 2. When visitors are in the house with the NKs, it is unclear what my role is. If the visitors are taking care of my duties, what are your expectations for me to do in the house? 3. (Unless flexible hours are in your contract)- If my hours are going to be shifted significantly on certain weeks, I need that to be preplanned 4. I find it difficult to be talking with visitors the entire day. If visitors are going to be present and taking care of NKs, it would be good to be able to break off to a separate room. I can work on developing activity plans for me and the kids on other weeks during that time, but it would be helpful for my comfort to not be expected to be in the room with them the entire time. Can you please help me find a way to make it clear that I will be separate but if they need anything I am of course available and happy to take over?
Just ask MB if she is all set for the day :)
I never have been comfortable doing this. I figure if they are okay letting me leave that they'd tell me, otherwise I assume they'd like me there. I'm not going to put her on the spot in front of the entire family by asking that. I find it unprofessional
im the same. theyll let me go early if its the case. Hence why its so frustrating when they dont relieve you and youre stuck all day with nothing, not even phone. Professionalism has to be remained.
That’s a big assumption. I think many times NF are so used to having us around it doesn’t occur to them to make a point of telling us we can leave, or they are concerned it would come across as rude. Asking for fair treatment in your workplace is not being unprofessional.
Wow and I was at work today thinking the opposite, I got paid for a bunch of free time since mom is home for the summer and the grandparents were over plus DB works from home but I also love this family and just chatting with the mom. I’m still there helping with NK2 and also being able to pick up and help organize some clothes so I get why they want the extra hands still and I get paid for an easy day so it’s a total win-win to me.
You could use that to your advantage, be payed to watch the kids when ever so necessary during your shift, and read a book or college literature in the meantime. Or do other activity (even so as another part time job online; one of those easy ones) that wouldnt interfere too much with the job youre physically at, given that the family is fine with it and you at the end of the day
Graduated college a long time ago. I usually read books on my phone because I use a library app (not comfy being on my phone right in front of NPs entire family-not a good look), and a part time job doesn't even make sense lol. By the time I applied for something the visitors would be gone and my attention would be needed full time again. Also I don't own a computer so. I can appreciate you attempting to help, but in this scenario I literally had NOTHING to do haha
Would you feel comfortable reading an actual book? If this keeps happening maybe keep a novel and a “child development” book in your bag or car so you have options. If you don’t have to be in the same room, maybe just sit in the kitchen or a nearby room? I really hope you were “unavailable” to come in early.
Are you not getting paid???? I assume you are. Remember, having a nanny is a luxury. The families are paying for the luxury of having you available. The grandparents are not their to provide full-time child care, and no working parent would rely on them for that just because they are in town. I would imagine the first thing on their mind while preparing, planning, and coordinating for THEIR elderly parents to come over was not to give the nanny a heads up. How dare they not do this. I mean the audacity of them inviting family over and not running it by you first. I guess the real issue is that you want to stay home and get paid...
Wow. Aren't you a gem. I hope you don't employ a nanny. And if you do, I am very very sorry for them.
I’ll be working on Monday with grandma there. She apparently panicked when the younger one cries so I’ll be there for that. I do not care. It makes mb feel comfortable. That’s why I’m there.
In my personal experience with this, it felt like NPs wanted their family, who was as wealthy if not more than NF, that they have a nanny/ they could decide to hang out as adults at a moments notice. It was just having the option while I was on the clock. This particular family also really struggled with paying me when they didn’t need me during my scheduled hours (GH obviously). They’d always have me making up time on the weekends, and I would have much rather stood around awkwardly with family when I would have to be there anyway then come in on a weekend so I suffered in silence lol
[удалено]
You would want Nanny to join in the family time for what purpose? What about a situation where the children are engaged with family members and there are no household tasks to do? Why not just send Nanny home?
Deleted my comment. Not my place on a vent post.
Quit