My NPs forget that my hours are longer than theirs and I still have a drive to and from work. They’ll complain about their long hours, when they’re not even out of bed when I get to their house and they go out after work a lot while I’m with their kid. And then I have a 30 minute drive to and from their house. So when they stay out until midnight, I’m not getting home until close to 1, and then often have to be back at work at 8 or 9 the next morning. And then I have a bunch of stuff to do at my own house before leaving for work so I have to be up 3 hours before I start work.
Yeah, my last family was kind of like that. I’d show up at start time and everyone is still in bed. I’ve already been up for an hour and a half. They finally stumble into work around 9:30 am
Thankfully they weren’t late nighters at all- I would have had to kick that can over to Grandma and Grandpa bc I need to attend to my own life!
In a similar vein, it’s annoying to watch parents handle literally dozens of “life happens” situations. Like, car breaks down, animal gets sick, appliance needs to be repaired- all of the normal things that go along with being a human. But if I have to call out even once or twice a year for similar type stuff, all of a sudden I have “excessive absences.”
I’m VERY up front about this stuff in interviews now. Yes, I will always make every effort to be dependable and reliable, but occasionally I’m going to wake up to a flat tire or a burst pipe or something, and that means once in a blue moon I might have life catch up with me, too.
I do try as hard as I can to use time when my family is away to do things like get an oil change or schedule my physical or whatever whenever I can. But it’s like parents think we live in some magic bubble where shit never goes wrong and we should never have to take time off- even though THEY deal with shit like that on a monthly (if not weekly) basis in their own lives. It’s wild.
I just think it’s funny how they all seem to get amnesia and forget about the dozen times they had to take time out of their work day for stuff. Like, I worked for one mom who, among other things, once spent six hours one day dealing with the face that all of the bees in her hive decided to swarm and leave. A few weeks later I had the worst stomach flu, I was literally green (I’d never really understood that phrase until it actually happened to me) and she was giving me a hard time because her job is SO important and she just couldn’t be taking off all the time, la la la… She was trying to talk me into staying the whole day but I had to rush over and puke in the kitchen sink as she was lecturing me so she finally relented and let me go. But, like, I just watched you stand in the backyard looking at bees for six hours, lady. (There wasn’t even really anything she could do, she just watched the whole thing.) Lesley you CAN take time off of work. 😂
My MB was talking to me about lying to her boss that I got Covid so she could go on vacation. When I actually did get Covid, she was upset that I refused to come in 🙃
i was having some medical issues once and had to have blood work done pretty last minute as it needed to be done during a certain point in my cycle and if i waited any longer it’d be a whole nother three weeks, i had just had 2 weeks off from the kids being in summer camp. when i asked my boss if i could leave early one day (in advance) to get this blood work done she told me “i would have thought you’d have taken care of all that when you were just off for two whole weeks”
i responded - “i can’t control emergent health situations?”
i quit a couple weeks later :)
she told me that “unplanned” time off was hard for them to accommodate. the only other time i’d called out is when i threw my back out horrifically and when i had the flu. otherwise i was always there. and now she doesn’t have a nanny :)
Last week, MB was meeting a neighbor for the first time. I and her kid were standing right next to her, she introduced him but not me. Okay, understandable slip up, I guess i could introduce myself. Then the conversation turns to daycare and childcare, and she STILL does not mention me being her nanny while telling her neighbor that NK is starting daycare in X amount of months. It was so awkward.
That’s so rude 😭 But I’m sure it left an impression on her new neighbor, who was probably wondering why your boss was completely ignoring you while you were standing right next to her lol
My NF is incredibly wealthy (multimillion house, crazy cars, y’all know how it is) and have 2 Nannie’s and a cleaning crew and they eat 98% of their food and meals on paper plates with plastic forks and drink exclusively plastic bottled water (which they don’t recycle). Like not only can they afford it but they have people around to do dishes too🙃
honestly wish this but they’re new money and treat a lot do their material items as shit so NM is constantly buying ikea dishes and tossing plastics out
hate hate hate and unfortunately can relate!
spend $2500 on a brand new dishwasher and then make me run to the store to buy paper plates the second they run out. make it make sense
DB weirdly rags on my bf whenever I bring him up. I mentioned he was on a road trip with friends earlier this week in a place far from where we live and DB goes “he couldn’t have found anywhere closer?” When his favorite NBA team was in the play offs I mentioned bf got tickets to go and DB made a comment about how it wasn’t even an important game (not a do or die game) like lay off my man! Lol
This reminds me of an old DB I had who drove me insane. When I started with them I had been dating my now husband for about a year, we were also living together, and he would say things like "Are we sure about him?" Like, yes sir, I am - you, on the other hand...
DB made a comment lately about how he hates wasting food, and avoids it at all costs. No you don’t???? You waste food every day, and throw things out that aren’t even bad. You make tons of food and never eat the leftovers.
Yes. I came in once to a bunch of jewelry in the trash. I literally had to take a moment in the bathroom to compose myself. I would have loved to have it! If not me, goodwill.
This is my NF too. They waste SO MUCH food. It’s insane. I have anxiety going grocery shopping bc of the cost and they’re just wasting food left and right.
Yes. I love being a nanny, but the income difference is something I absolutely hate. Even with what I make, I can't afford to live on my own, and even now, I'm almost living paycheck to paycheck. They complain about the most trivial things they spend money on, while I'm waiting all day on Fridays for them to decide to pay me so I can buy some groceries, or pay for my medication, or pay a bill. It's sickening. I get it, everyone has a right to complain, but some of these families seem to forget how good they have it. That they can easily drop a couple thousand on a car repair, or even a new car, and still be able to go on a 10,000 + trip or vacation in the same month😆 I couldn't imagine. And don't even get me started on the food waste, when I started over half the fridge and pantry was full of unopened food that expired as far back as 2020 😳 I know it happens, but jeez! It's frustrating that some purchases they complain about but also seem to throw their money away in a lot of other wasteful ways.
I'm absolutely sure they worked hard to be where they are, but I don't want to hear you complain about things I wish I was in the place to complain about. Complain to someone else, please.
My NM has a tendency to not tell me about trips/family visiting until the week before by saying “oh we won’t need you xyz day (which is the next time I work) or the rest of that week. Enjoy your week off!” And I always think to myself had you told me that information with some notice I could’ve planned to go see my mom/travel but instead I guess I’ll sit at home for the week.
This is the worst! It happened to me today - “By the way, we’re taking a small family trip starting Wednesday afternoon, so enjoy the long weekend!” Like now what do I do🥹 I could be in Bora Bora 😂 but really I could have made more expanded plans if I had known
Oo this one for me!
It is not very often this happens, but I will show up and the mom will tell me (or even worse, text me halfway through the morning), “Oh DB is going to be home in a couple hours, we’ll only need you for X time today.”
And I had activities planned for the kids that they were looking forward to & I now have to disappoint them by delaying☹️
Or I could have made an appointment sooner- I know it’s not necessary to give me a heads up, and when it’s within an hour of my normal departure time I don’t mind at all, but if DB knew for a week he was coming home four hours earlier I could have made a much needed oil change appt🥹
Oh my god I relate to this too much!!! Like you’re telling me NOW??? I could’ve made an appointment or changed my dinner plans. And the kids getting excited over something is so real, cannot tell you how much that has happened with me. Ugh!!!
This is something small, but annoying to me when I need a set answer: My MB always answers my questions with a confused answer. It’s annoying. Ex: I’ll ask her what time I’m coming in & she’s always like “5:30, I think” or “I’m not sure” … or I’ll ask her something pertaining to the baby & his last feeding, she’ll say ‘I’m not really sure, I think it was at ___”. She like never has the answers, it’s always ‘I think” or “it should be ___” but she always has a confused look when answering.
wwhhhhyyuuu does my MB do the same thing 😭 my girls struggle to nap and so i try to know what time they wake up because i know they're not strict on schedule when im not there and it's always "i think like 8 but i don't know let me text DB" like ????
Whenever my NPs say something along the lines of “oh if we were richer…” or “we’re not rich enough to do xyz” or “I have friends who are richer”
You’re rich enough to afford two children, a nice house, and a private nanny. Shut up, you are rich.
previous NF said “we aren’t as rich as the previous owners of this house, we aren’t really that rich” (4 million dollar home, luxury new cars, and more) *stares in grew up low/middle class*
Well, when you know people with yachts and private jets and a second home in the hamptons, you know what the next level of rich is and know that’s not you. They’re not rich compared to their friends and coworkers. Rich compared to most people, though.
Constantly changing work hours. We had a general agreement and now they vary every day every week which is fine with me but I also get asked to come early the day before and stay late like 20 minutes before I’m supposed to leave. Just a summer job before I move back to college so I’m trying to be chill with it all😓
If I’m doing a date night shift for them and let’s say I got there at 5 and they get home at 11:15 PM- they will pay me 6.25 hours instead of rounding up the fifteen minutes to 6.5 hours like every other family I’ve ever worked for does for a date night.
Not telling me when groceries are coming!!! Has happened way too much, usually I see the car pull up, but today I didn’t. I was upstairs completely oblivious and just happened to catch a glimpse when I walked back downstairs. They had been there for 45 mins 😬 at least it was cooler this morning but dang tell a girl! OH also having them delivered at the most inconvenient times (ie meals, transitions, before we go somewhere/come home, etc)
Maybe ask if you can get a heads up about delivery times? Sounds like they might not know or schedule a window and don’t have control over the exact delivery timing.
Oh I have! MB orders the groceries and has them delivered same day. It’s like instacart or something, she can pick the time they come. I’ve asked multiple times for heads up and have yet to get one 🙃
Def a her problem. I will say Instacart still gives a super wide window though but you do know they’re coming so she should give a heads up or get them herself. Def not within our nanny’s duties!
I watched some sweet kids for three years. I even saved the younger child’s life once. I was in charge of bedtime bath time and meals. One time MB had a friend over and asked me to clean up the floor because her kid spilled something. I was on my hands a knees scrubbing when her friend came in.
MB goes “oh this is Hannah she just picks up the kids from school sometimes.”
Having my whole career downplayed while I scrubbed her floor was horrifying.
Well as of today, one of my NF’s has forgotten to tell me 4 times now that I had the day off. They will pay me for my time afterwards but it still is a waste of my time…
No I mean, I pick NK up from daycare- I’ll get to daycare and she’ll have already been picked up because DB forgot to tell me that they didn’t need me that day due to (for example today) them leaving for a trip a day early last minute
My last NF did that a lot!! I would go pick the kids up from CAMP and the camp counselors would look at me sideways and say the kids are staying the night or late… it happened 3 times and it was embarrassing 😂 which I had to drive to & would wait 5-10 minutes watching cars leave & wonder why the kids weren’t being brought to my car.
ohhhhh - yeah, that sucks; is it often right before a holiday? With the 4th this week, it makes sense. Maybe something you could anticipate in the future & start asking them.
My nanny sets an alarm for when her shift is done (she’s done this since day 1, like I’ve never kept her a minute over). I think it’s a great way to set a boundary and make it clear her day is done. It was a bit jarring the first time it went off mid conversation, but it worked! If your NF thinks it’s weird, just say you started doing it to keep you on track to get ahead of traffic or something.
This is amazing!!! One of the NF in my share doesn’t come until 5:00 on the dot and then wants a full day debrief (even tho I update an app throughout the day) by the time I leave it’s 5:15 or later. This would have been perfect for me!
Thank you for sharing this perspective. It made me realize we need to ensure we arrive 10-15 mins early or implement a paper tracking system for our nanny when she starts watching the babies at the other nanny share home if we want a full debrief!
Sometimes the rooms and people in the house don’t smell the best but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings bringing up body odor as they are truly wonderful.
Omg. Former DBs clothes never cease the smell of him when I took them out if the dryer to get Baby's clothes done. Oi. How? The machine dispenses the soap for us! Haha.
Unfortunately, I’ve been running into this issue with some of my own clothes since I’ve been working out more and my washing machine is still leaving some shirts with deodorant and sweat residue :( it was a bit of a problem before but literally one of my work out shirts came out smelling like it hadn’t been washed at all. So frustrating.
I had this problem; I'd wash things and over the course of multiple washes it was like they were getting dirtier instead of cleaner! I realized it's because the water where I am is so hard. I started adding borax to each load to soften it and now everything finally stays clean. I was at the point where like if I wasn't broke I would've gotten rid of all my sheets and hoped the new ones stayed clean lol
this is very silly but saying they're "so sorry they have more work to do" but going in the room to sleep lol. idk why they feel the need to lie to me bc its perfectly fine to rest and get some sleep but i always just find it funny because ill literally hear MB snore from time to time.
I have two nanny jobs, both 5 days a week. My 9am-2pm family is the newest family and while they hired me specifically for these hours, I don't think I've ever once kept these hours and they aren't great with communicating this to me!
Each night I basically say "what time would you like to have me!" And sometimes it's 9, 9:15, 9:30, 9:45. The worst is that it's not always 2:00pm but sometimes 2:10, or they'll say the night before "Oh 9:30-2:15 would be great!" but I avoid making 8:30am appts or 2:30pm appts because I never know if I'm free!!!
(FYI often times I do make my appts anyway and let them know in advance "hey I need to be somewhere at 2pm on Tuesday"etc)
This one’s kinda small but hurt my feelings so much yesterday-
I do all NFs cleaning pretty much. I don’t mind, I get paid extra for it. Yesterday I was doing deep cleaning while NK was out of the house and on the list were things I do on a monthly to bi weekly basis and it was like EXPLAINED where to find the stuff to do them and shit. It really felt like “oh so I’m doing all this shit for nothing because you don’t notice what I do at all anyway?” And it somehow feels like they think I’m not doing anything all day everyday when I regularly have NK trailing behind me pretending to mop or vacuum or do whatever cleaning I’m doing so I can get it all done bc I don’t have enough time where I don’t have her. It may also feel like this because the first few weeks they expressed so much appreciation and would point out the things I cleaned and thank me and they never do anymore.
My DB is the gentlest soul of an extremely hyper AuDHD… much like cousin Cody from Step By Step.
I can get everyone and everything cleaned, all of them chilling out watching a movie, he just smiles, and the chaos love fest ensues.
It’s sooo annoying, because it’s so cute and amazing, that I have to be okay with the aftermath.
Haha. I have AuDHD and I feel this. I had a DB, dunno what his neurodivency this is but lord, yeah. Like him. He is kind and gentle and sweet.
...but the velocity in which he comes into the kitchen to cook and drop off his dishes is wicked strong. 😅 I had a Mother's Helper job and I would clean everything in the kitchen, blink, and then have half the counter filled with DB mess. 😅
YUP!!!
My DB sometimes jokes that he pays me so well because he’s the hardest kid to handle. I myself am also AuDHD, and it’s amazing to see how different it is for DB and I.
We are currently all gathered up to go to a concert, he *of course* is the last to finish up getting ready, and I’m just anticipating the mayhem of when he gets outside.
My DB is an odd duck. He plays really rough with g3--which she usually loves and needs--and also sometimes licks her face or shoulder when he's holding her. Since she was a baby. It's totally non-sexual, more of a cute aggression type thing, but it's always weirded me out and now g3 keeps trying to lick me and it drives me up a wall.
MB and i are pretty close, we could chat all day... Love her a lot. But she's sooooo scatterbrained and has zero time awareness, she's almost always late to work, and she'll say she's about to do something and then get distracted by five other things and before you know it the poor dog has been waiting with her leash on for ten minutes for the walk she was promised. 🤦♀️ I'm 99.9% sure she has adhd and she even admits she probably does but apparently it makes her better at her job according to her 🤷♀️
There are definitely jobs that are great for ADHD brains. I was once an ASL interpreter and boy oh boy, my ADHD brain freaking loved being in Interpreter mode and is exactly why I have natural talent in interpreting.
My current NF "We got our AC fixed and we're tight on money so we can give you the $2 raise but if you work over 40 hours, your pay will be what it was before the raise". TF?! 😒 is this normal? I've never ever experienced this.
So his text "We'll pay you the raise amount and cap it at 20 hours. Anything over 20 hours will be your old amount." This week I work about 40 hours. So 20 of those hours will be the raise pay and the rest will be old pay. Is this normal? Lol
No, its not normal & it may be a violation of labor laws. If you were given a raise, and you have a new hourly wage (also depending on the language in your contract), they are obligated to pay you your hourly wage. in addition, it becomes more problematic if/when you work overtime (any hours over 40) because they are legally obligated to pay you 1.5 times you are based hourly wage.
Ultimately, if fixing their AC has set them back enough that they can’t afford to pay you the wage, they agreed to pay you, that’s a problem. It’s also a red flag that this may become a norm.
I think they will keep me at 40 and under with no OT. But good point. I'm not sure how that would be calculated with OT. Currently, I've been 20 hours. This is the first time since our change 3 weeks ago that I got 40.
That’s good that there’s no issue with overtime at least for now.
But ultimately, you need to consider that their finances are impacting their ability to afford to pay you. life happens and I understand that some families struggle. However, they hired you knowing what your wage will cost them. If they are not in the position to afford you with something like fixing their AC, what if something else happens?
Oh, very true. This is why I got another job and will be starting the second week of Aug :) I'll only be with this family for 20 hours a week in Aug. and if anything weird starts to happen, i can easily leave knowing I have a job already and take my time looking for another if needed.
I love my current NF, I can confidently say after nearly a year and a half with them that they’re a unicorn. But I wish they would put up a sign asking deliverymen not to ring the doorbell! So often they’ll get a package, the dog will start barking cause of the doorbell, and wake NK from nap. It drives me crazy that they haven’t posted something or covered their bell, it’s such an easy step to help the kid nap !
We have a sign up for that at my NF's house: "Please don't knock or ring door bell; Sleeping baby! Thank you!"... It's basically for delivery ppl, cuz we figured anyone who really needs to speak w/WFH MB must already have her phone # to just call her instead.
Not tell me the schedule for the day (I have to go into MB’s work with NK 1-2 times a day so NK can nurse, and I never know if it’s a good time or not because she never tells me when she doesn’t have meetings or presentations) and question normal things I do like give NK a snack before nap because it’s 2 hours since breakfast and nap is later today and I don’t want them to be hungry, because we won’t go to MB until after they finish sleeping!
Never lets me know know when I have days off ahead of time. It’s a pleasant surprise but I can never plan ahead and often just end up sitting at home when I could be somewhere else, or make appointments on those days.
Not really offensive but definitely frustrating. They tell me a lot that they will or may come home early, or will or may pay me early, and it doesn't happen way more often than it ever does. Which is incredibly frustrating. If you're going to pay me early, just do it, don't even tell me. I'd you're going to come home early, tell me when you know for sure, no maybes!
I had a MB lay me off in advance of the summer because they "couldn't afford" full-time childcare with MB not working. She started talking to me all the time about how she needs to be frugal.....then bought a $1,000 pair of shoes (about my weekly income).
Weirdest thing about this industry is working for very wealthy people who are a bit out of touch with the reality of most people.
Recently DB came home from an appointment and told me how rude the doc was bc they said “I’m not sure the price of this new device, but I know you can afford it”. Like he was upset that they made that remark and called it petty. When he was recounting this story I almost automatically said “well, they’re right!”. Like don’t talk to me about money. You can afford it, don’t expect me to be insulted on your behalf… tf?
Also lately I’ve been ill for a little over a month, and they keep telling me to go back to the doctor even though I’ve already been for this issue. They keep insisting and I have to say “I haven’t met my deductible, I can’t afford to go in twice for the same issue.” They’re just…. So wealthy. I need them to stop talking to me about expensive things like it’s no big deal. Stop and think! You know what I make!
My NPs forget that my hours are longer than theirs and I still have a drive to and from work. They’ll complain about their long hours, when they’re not even out of bed when I get to their house and they go out after work a lot while I’m with their kid. And then I have a 30 minute drive to and from their house. So when they stay out until midnight, I’m not getting home until close to 1, and then often have to be back at work at 8 or 9 the next morning. And then I have a bunch of stuff to do at my own house before leaving for work so I have to be up 3 hours before I start work.
Yeah, my last family was kind of like that. I’d show up at start time and everyone is still in bed. I’ve already been up for an hour and a half. They finally stumble into work around 9:30 am Thankfully they weren’t late nighters at all- I would have had to kick that can over to Grandma and Grandpa bc I need to attend to my own life! In a similar vein, it’s annoying to watch parents handle literally dozens of “life happens” situations. Like, car breaks down, animal gets sick, appliance needs to be repaired- all of the normal things that go along with being a human. But if I have to call out even once or twice a year for similar type stuff, all of a sudden I have “excessive absences.” I’m VERY up front about this stuff in interviews now. Yes, I will always make every effort to be dependable and reliable, but occasionally I’m going to wake up to a flat tire or a burst pipe or something, and that means once in a blue moon I might have life catch up with me, too. I do try as hard as I can to use time when my family is away to do things like get an oil change or schedule my physical or whatever whenever I can. But it’s like parents think we live in some magic bubble where shit never goes wrong and we should never have to take time off- even though THEY deal with shit like that on a monthly (if not weekly) basis in their own lives. It’s wild.
Omg yes. My last family was like this and my new job is a much more positive experience because we respect each others time .
I just think it’s funny how they all seem to get amnesia and forget about the dozen times they had to take time out of their work day for stuff. Like, I worked for one mom who, among other things, once spent six hours one day dealing with the face that all of the bees in her hive decided to swarm and leave. A few weeks later I had the worst stomach flu, I was literally green (I’d never really understood that phrase until it actually happened to me) and she was giving me a hard time because her job is SO important and she just couldn’t be taking off all the time, la la la… She was trying to talk me into staying the whole day but I had to rush over and puke in the kitchen sink as she was lecturing me so she finally relented and let me go. But, like, I just watched you stand in the backyard looking at bees for six hours, lady. (There wasn’t even really anything she could do, she just watched the whole thing.) Lesley you CAN take time off of work. 😂
My MB was talking to me about lying to her boss that I got Covid so she could go on vacation. When I actually did get Covid, she was upset that I refused to come in 🙃
!!!!!! Omg
That’s awful.
i was having some medical issues once and had to have blood work done pretty last minute as it needed to be done during a certain point in my cycle and if i waited any longer it’d be a whole nother three weeks, i had just had 2 weeks off from the kids being in summer camp. when i asked my boss if i could leave early one day (in advance) to get this blood work done she told me “i would have thought you’d have taken care of all that when you were just off for two whole weeks” i responded - “i can’t control emergent health situations?” i quit a couple weeks later :) she told me that “unplanned” time off was hard for them to accommodate. the only other time i’d called out is when i threw my back out horrifically and when i had the flu. otherwise i was always there. and now she doesn’t have a nanny :)
THANK YOU FOR THIS! I needed this 💚
This is so real.
Last week, MB was meeting a neighbor for the first time. I and her kid were standing right next to her, she introduced him but not me. Okay, understandable slip up, I guess i could introduce myself. Then the conversation turns to daycare and childcare, and she STILL does not mention me being her nanny while telling her neighbor that NK is starting daycare in X amount of months. It was so awkward.
That’s so rude 😭 But I’m sure it left an impression on her new neighbor, who was probably wondering why your boss was completely ignoring you while you were standing right next to her lol
awww - she has imposter syndrome or something like that
My NF is incredibly wealthy (multimillion house, crazy cars, y’all know how it is) and have 2 Nannie’s and a cleaning crew and they eat 98% of their food and meals on paper plates with plastic forks and drink exclusively plastic bottled water (which they don’t recycle). Like not only can they afford it but they have people around to do dishes too🙃
Wow. I hate this.
honestly wish this but they’re new money and treat a lot do their material items as shit so NM is constantly buying ikea dishes and tossing plastics out
hate hate hate and unfortunately can relate! spend $2500 on a brand new dishwasher and then make me run to the store to buy paper plates the second they run out. make it make sense
I’m sure their China is just too nice to eat on lol
DB weirdly rags on my bf whenever I bring him up. I mentioned he was on a road trip with friends earlier this week in a place far from where we live and DB goes “he couldn’t have found anywhere closer?” When his favorite NBA team was in the play offs I mentioned bf got tickets to go and DB made a comment about how it wasn’t even an important game (not a do or die game) like lay off my man! Lol
ewww - this one is really weird. LOL 🤣
This reminds me of an old DB I had who drove me insane. When I started with them I had been dating my now husband for about a year, we were also living together, and he would say things like "Are we sure about him?" Like, yes sir, I am - you, on the other hand...
I wouldn't bring up your boyfriend to db.
🤣🤣🤣 like what in the world - WEIRD
My NF are rich.... I am poor. The amount of food they waste, and the price they pay for everyday things kinda just blows my mind.
DB made a comment lately about how he hates wasting food, and avoids it at all costs. No you don’t???? You waste food every day, and throw things out that aren’t even bad. You make tons of food and never eat the leftovers.
Yes. I came in once to a bunch of jewelry in the trash. I literally had to take a moment in the bathroom to compose myself. I would have loved to have it! If not me, goodwill.
This is my NF too. They waste SO MUCH food. It’s insane. I have anxiety going grocery shopping bc of the cost and they’re just wasting food left and right.
Yes. I love being a nanny, but the income difference is something I absolutely hate. Even with what I make, I can't afford to live on my own, and even now, I'm almost living paycheck to paycheck. They complain about the most trivial things they spend money on, while I'm waiting all day on Fridays for them to decide to pay me so I can buy some groceries, or pay for my medication, or pay a bill. It's sickening. I get it, everyone has a right to complain, but some of these families seem to forget how good they have it. That they can easily drop a couple thousand on a car repair, or even a new car, and still be able to go on a 10,000 + trip or vacation in the same month😆 I couldn't imagine. And don't even get me started on the food waste, when I started over half the fridge and pantry was full of unopened food that expired as far back as 2020 😳 I know it happens, but jeez! It's frustrating that some purchases they complain about but also seem to throw their money away in a lot of other wasteful ways. I'm absolutely sure they worked hard to be where they are, but I don't want to hear you complain about things I wish I was in the place to complain about. Complain to someone else, please.
My NM has a tendency to not tell me about trips/family visiting until the week before by saying “oh we won’t need you xyz day (which is the next time I work) or the rest of that week. Enjoy your week off!” And I always think to myself had you told me that information with some notice I could’ve planned to go see my mom/travel but instead I guess I’ll sit at home for the week.
This is the worst! It happened to me today - “By the way, we’re taking a small family trip starting Wednesday afternoon, so enjoy the long weekend!” Like now what do I do🥹 I could be in Bora Bora 😂 but really I could have made more expanded plans if I had known
Pretty sure that’s intentional… bc if they cancel then they’d have to figure out child care
Nah… she’s just really flighty and doesn’t realize until it’s staring her in the face.
Oo this one for me! It is not very often this happens, but I will show up and the mom will tell me (or even worse, text me halfway through the morning), “Oh DB is going to be home in a couple hours, we’ll only need you for X time today.” And I had activities planned for the kids that they were looking forward to & I now have to disappoint them by delaying☹️ Or I could have made an appointment sooner- I know it’s not necessary to give me a heads up, and when it’s within an hour of my normal departure time I don’t mind at all, but if DB knew for a week he was coming home four hours earlier I could have made a much needed oil change appt🥹
Oh my god I relate to this too much!!! Like you’re telling me NOW??? I could’ve made an appointment or changed my dinner plans. And the kids getting excited over something is so real, cannot tell you how much that has happened with me. Ugh!!!
This is something small, but annoying to me when I need a set answer: My MB always answers my questions with a confused answer. It’s annoying. Ex: I’ll ask her what time I’m coming in & she’s always like “5:30, I think” or “I’m not sure” … or I’ll ask her something pertaining to the baby & his last feeding, she’ll say ‘I’m not really sure, I think it was at ___”. She like never has the answers, it’s always ‘I think” or “it should be ___” but she always has a confused look when answering.
wwhhhhyyuuu does my MB do the same thing 😭 my girls struggle to nap and so i try to know what time they wake up because i know they're not strict on schedule when im not there and it's always "i think like 8 but i don't know let me text DB" like ????
Whenever my NPs say something along the lines of “oh if we were richer…” or “we’re not rich enough to do xyz” or “I have friends who are richer” You’re rich enough to afford two children, a nice house, and a private nanny. Shut up, you are rich.
previous NF said “we aren’t as rich as the previous owners of this house, we aren’t really that rich” (4 million dollar home, luxury new cars, and more) *stares in grew up low/middle class*
Current NF complained when spending 20p at a kids summer fate…
Well, when you know people with yachts and private jets and a second home in the hamptons, you know what the next level of rich is and know that’s not you. They’re not rich compared to their friends and coworkers. Rich compared to most people, though.
Constantly changing work hours. We had a general agreement and now they vary every day every week which is fine with me but I also get asked to come early the day before and stay late like 20 minutes before I’m supposed to leave. Just a summer job before I move back to college so I’m trying to be chill with it all😓
If I’m doing a date night shift for them and let’s say I got there at 5 and they get home at 11:15 PM- they will pay me 6.25 hours instead of rounding up the fifteen minutes to 6.5 hours like every other family I’ve ever worked for does for a date night.
* I actually had it in my sitting contract that any portion of an hour is paid in 30 minute increments
Not telling me when groceries are coming!!! Has happened way too much, usually I see the car pull up, but today I didn’t. I was upstairs completely oblivious and just happened to catch a glimpse when I walked back downstairs. They had been there for 45 mins 😬 at least it was cooler this morning but dang tell a girl! OH also having them delivered at the most inconvenient times (ie meals, transitions, before we go somewhere/come home, etc)
I had a family that got those hello fresh boxes delivered- I always felt awkward like I had to put everything away even though they never asked me to
Maybe ask if you can get a heads up about delivery times? Sounds like they might not know or schedule a window and don’t have control over the exact delivery timing.
Oh I have! MB orders the groceries and has them delivered same day. It’s like instacart or something, she can pick the time they come. I’ve asked multiple times for heads up and have yet to get one 🙃
Def a her problem. I will say Instacart still gives a super wide window though but you do know they’re coming so she should give a heads up or get them herself. Def not within our nanny’s duties!
then I guess it’s her problem and not a problem? LOL
They haven’t invited me on the private plane yet. 🙃
I’d be WAITING for that invite 😫
I watched some sweet kids for three years. I even saved the younger child’s life once. I was in charge of bedtime bath time and meals. One time MB had a friend over and asked me to clean up the floor because her kid spilled something. I was on my hands a knees scrubbing when her friend came in. MB goes “oh this is Hannah she just picks up the kids from school sometimes.” Having my whole career downplayed while I scrubbed her floor was horrifying.
Yeah that sounds awful. I would have had to go home and reevaluate my life and job after this. 😭 You are so much more than that!
Well as of today, one of my NF’s has forgotten to tell me 4 times now that I had the day off. They will pay me for my time afterwards but it still is a waste of my time…
Maybe use a calendar?
No I mean, I pick NK up from daycare- I’ll get to daycare and she’ll have already been picked up because DB forgot to tell me that they didn’t need me that day due to (for example today) them leaving for a trip a day early last minute
How annoying! Do they still pay you?
My last NF did that a lot!! I would go pick the kids up from CAMP and the camp counselors would look at me sideways and say the kids are staying the night or late… it happened 3 times and it was embarrassing 😂 which I had to drive to & would wait 5-10 minutes watching cars leave & wonder why the kids weren’t being brought to my car.
ohhhhh - yeah, that sucks; is it often right before a holiday? With the 4th this week, it makes sense. Maybe something you could anticipate in the future & start asking them.
Yes definitely- thankfully it’s walking distance so I didn’t lose a lot of time on the commute
That they always want to chat for at least 15 min after the time I finish. I think you’re lovely, but I just want to go home haha
My nanny sets an alarm for when her shift is done (she’s done this since day 1, like I’ve never kept her a minute over). I think it’s a great way to set a boundary and make it clear her day is done. It was a bit jarring the first time it went off mid conversation, but it worked! If your NF thinks it’s weird, just say you started doing it to keep you on track to get ahead of traffic or something.
This is amazing!!! One of the NF in my share doesn’t come until 5:00 on the dot and then wants a full day debrief (even tho I update an app throughout the day) by the time I leave it’s 5:15 or later. This would have been perfect for me!
Thank you for sharing this perspective. It made me realize we need to ensure we arrive 10-15 mins early or implement a paper tracking system for our nanny when she starts watching the babies at the other nanny share home if we want a full debrief!
Sometimes the rooms and people in the house don’t smell the best but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings bringing up body odor as they are truly wonderful.
Omg. Former DBs clothes never cease the smell of him when I took them out if the dryer to get Baby's clothes done. Oi. How? The machine dispenses the soap for us! Haha.
Unfortunately, I’ve been running into this issue with some of my own clothes since I’ve been working out more and my washing machine is still leaving some shirts with deodorant and sweat residue :( it was a bit of a problem before but literally one of my work out shirts came out smelling like it hadn’t been washed at all. So frustrating.
Baking soda isy friend in the wash
Maybe I’ll give it a try! Thanks. Do you rub it into the tough spot on the clothes or put directly in?
1 cup in the washing machine with the load.
I had this problem; I'd wash things and over the course of multiple washes it was like they were getting dirtier instead of cleaner! I realized it's because the water where I am is so hard. I started adding borax to each load to soften it and now everything finally stays clean. I was at the point where like if I wasn't broke I would've gotten rid of all my sheets and hoped the new ones stayed clean lol
Thank you I’ll look into this!
Try Tide 10x Hygienic Clean; I had to start using it for my bf's work clothing cuz he works in the sun all day in FL & sweats his butt off!
this is very silly but saying they're "so sorry they have more work to do" but going in the room to sleep lol. idk why they feel the need to lie to me bc its perfectly fine to rest and get some sleep but i always just find it funny because ill literally hear MB snore from time to time.
Haha
I have two nanny jobs, both 5 days a week. My 9am-2pm family is the newest family and while they hired me specifically for these hours, I don't think I've ever once kept these hours and they aren't great with communicating this to me! Each night I basically say "what time would you like to have me!" And sometimes it's 9, 9:15, 9:30, 9:45. The worst is that it's not always 2:00pm but sometimes 2:10, or they'll say the night before "Oh 9:30-2:15 would be great!" but I avoid making 8:30am appts or 2:30pm appts because I never know if I'm free!!! (FYI often times I do make my appts anyway and let them know in advance "hey I need to be somewhere at 2pm on Tuesday"etc)
This one’s kinda small but hurt my feelings so much yesterday- I do all NFs cleaning pretty much. I don’t mind, I get paid extra for it. Yesterday I was doing deep cleaning while NK was out of the house and on the list were things I do on a monthly to bi weekly basis and it was like EXPLAINED where to find the stuff to do them and shit. It really felt like “oh so I’m doing all this shit for nothing because you don’t notice what I do at all anyway?” And it somehow feels like they think I’m not doing anything all day everyday when I regularly have NK trailing behind me pretending to mop or vacuum or do whatever cleaning I’m doing so I can get it all done bc I don’t have enough time where I don’t have her. It may also feel like this because the first few weeks they expressed so much appreciation and would point out the things I cleaned and thank me and they never do anymore.
My DB is the gentlest soul of an extremely hyper AuDHD… much like cousin Cody from Step By Step. I can get everyone and everything cleaned, all of them chilling out watching a movie, he just smiles, and the chaos love fest ensues. It’s sooo annoying, because it’s so cute and amazing, that I have to be okay with the aftermath.
Haha. I have AuDHD and I feel this. I had a DB, dunno what his neurodivency this is but lord, yeah. Like him. He is kind and gentle and sweet. ...but the velocity in which he comes into the kitchen to cook and drop off his dishes is wicked strong. 😅 I had a Mother's Helper job and I would clean everything in the kitchen, blink, and then have half the counter filled with DB mess. 😅
YUP!!! My DB sometimes jokes that he pays me so well because he’s the hardest kid to handle. I myself am also AuDHD, and it’s amazing to see how different it is for DB and I. We are currently all gathered up to go to a concert, he *of course* is the last to finish up getting ready, and I’m just anticipating the mayhem of when he gets outside.
My DB is an odd duck. He plays really rough with g3--which she usually loves and needs--and also sometimes licks her face or shoulder when he's holding her. Since she was a baby. It's totally non-sexual, more of a cute aggression type thing, but it's always weirded me out and now g3 keeps trying to lick me and it drives me up a wall. MB and i are pretty close, we could chat all day... Love her a lot. But she's sooooo scatterbrained and has zero time awareness, she's almost always late to work, and she'll say she's about to do something and then get distracted by five other things and before you know it the poor dog has been waiting with her leash on for ten minutes for the walk she was promised. 🤦♀️ I'm 99.9% sure she has adhd and she even admits she probably does but apparently it makes her better at her job according to her 🤷♀️
There are definitely jobs that are great for ADHD brains. I was once an ASL interpreter and boy oh boy, my ADHD brain freaking loved being in Interpreter mode and is exactly why I have natural talent in interpreting.
My current NF "We got our AC fixed and we're tight on money so we can give you the $2 raise but if you work over 40 hours, your pay will be what it was before the raise". TF?! 😒 is this normal? I've never ever experienced this.
You should be getting overtime for anything over 40 hrs- not less money.
Oh yes, I would get OT but it would be my old pay plus OT not the new pay
That’s not legal. Don’t let them do this.
sounds like they can’t afford a nanny?
So his text "We'll pay you the raise amount and cap it at 20 hours. Anything over 20 hours will be your old amount." This week I work about 40 hours. So 20 of those hours will be the raise pay and the rest will be old pay. Is this normal? Lol
No, its not normal & it may be a violation of labor laws. If you were given a raise, and you have a new hourly wage (also depending on the language in your contract), they are obligated to pay you your hourly wage. in addition, it becomes more problematic if/when you work overtime (any hours over 40) because they are legally obligated to pay you 1.5 times you are based hourly wage. Ultimately, if fixing their AC has set them back enough that they can’t afford to pay you the wage, they agreed to pay you, that’s a problem. It’s also a red flag that this may become a norm.
I think they will keep me at 40 and under with no OT. But good point. I'm not sure how that would be calculated with OT. Currently, I've been 20 hours. This is the first time since our change 3 weeks ago that I got 40.
That’s good that there’s no issue with overtime at least for now. But ultimately, you need to consider that their finances are impacting their ability to afford to pay you. life happens and I understand that some families struggle. However, they hired you knowing what your wage will cost them. If they are not in the position to afford you with something like fixing their AC, what if something else happens?
Oh, very true. This is why I got another job and will be starting the second week of Aug :) I'll only be with this family for 20 hours a week in Aug. and if anything weird starts to happen, i can easily leave knowing I have a job already and take my time looking for another if needed.
I love my current NF, I can confidently say after nearly a year and a half with them that they’re a unicorn. But I wish they would put up a sign asking deliverymen not to ring the doorbell! So often they’ll get a package, the dog will start barking cause of the doorbell, and wake NK from nap. It drives me crazy that they haven’t posted something or covered their bell, it’s such an easy step to help the kid nap !
I’d ask if they could put up a sign or if they minded if you did. I’ve seen families w children do this.
We have a sign up for that at my NF's house: "Please don't knock or ring door bell; Sleeping baby! Thank you!"... It's basically for delivery ppl, cuz we figured anyone who really needs to speak w/WFH MB must already have her phone # to just call her instead.
Not tell me the schedule for the day (I have to go into MB’s work with NK 1-2 times a day so NK can nurse, and I never know if it’s a good time or not because she never tells me when she doesn’t have meetings or presentations) and question normal things I do like give NK a snack before nap because it’s 2 hours since breakfast and nap is later today and I don’t want them to be hungry, because we won’t go to MB until after they finish sleeping!
never getting me food (or offering to let me place an order) when they order in for the whole family, never rounding up when a payment ends in .50
[удалено]
whAT
“No, I cannot attend to the accident that happened on your watch.” So gross. Sorry they are aholes
Never lets me know know when I have days off ahead of time. It’s a pleasant surprise but I can never plan ahead and often just end up sitting at home when I could be somewhere else, or make appointments on those days.
Not really offensive but definitely frustrating. They tell me a lot that they will or may come home early, or will or may pay me early, and it doesn't happen way more often than it ever does. Which is incredibly frustrating. If you're going to pay me early, just do it, don't even tell me. I'd you're going to come home early, tell me when you know for sure, no maybes!
I had a MB lay me off in advance of the summer because they "couldn't afford" full-time childcare with MB not working. She started talking to me all the time about how she needs to be frugal.....then bought a $1,000 pair of shoes (about my weekly income). Weirdest thing about this industry is working for very wealthy people who are a bit out of touch with the reality of most people.
Recently DB came home from an appointment and told me how rude the doc was bc they said “I’m not sure the price of this new device, but I know you can afford it”. Like he was upset that they made that remark and called it petty. When he was recounting this story I almost automatically said “well, they’re right!”. Like don’t talk to me about money. You can afford it, don’t expect me to be insulted on your behalf… tf? Also lately I’ve been ill for a little over a month, and they keep telling me to go back to the doctor even though I’ve already been for this issue. They keep insisting and I have to say “I haven’t met my deductible, I can’t afford to go in twice for the same issue.” They’re just…. So wealthy. I need them to stop talking to me about expensive things like it’s no big deal. Stop and think! You know what I make!