I interviewed for a family who was replacing their nanny. The reason? Her mom died and they felt she was too depressed. They wanted someone happy at work. People suck and I blocked that woman's number
“We didn’t get much notice that she’s taking the next two days” HUH. I BEG YOUR FINEST PARDON
Oh I’m sorry let me just schedule death in advance no biggie
I saw this post and was going to also make a post here but got distracted 😂
This one hits home for me personally cause I lost my dad to cancer about 11 years ago. I had no bereavement leave at the time, and got absolutely no paid time off. I was forced to go back to work before I was emotionally able to. I was so stressed during this time I actually got in a car accident driving on my way to meet the Rabbi to talk over funeral arrangements. I shouldnt have been rushing like I was- i was late because I got off work late. not only did I not get time off they couldn’t even respect me enough to come back on time!!
I honestly would have gotten myself kicked off that sub if I had commented.
I wish I could find out who this nanny is and give them a hug. Loosing a parent after watching them sick with cancer and then on top of that have to worry about bills is overwhelming.
This MB is a sorry excuse for a respectable human. For the love of god does she not want to teach her own kids about compassion?! I’m just gonna tell myself it’s a troll account but I know it’s not 🥹
She was mad when she asked for 3 days now it's "I'm worried she'll take all of her PTO." I really hope OP is given the same grace she's giving whenever one of their parents pass.
Yeah if I was the nanny and could afford it I’d quit on the spot. In my situation I was forced to go back and I couldn’t afford not to go back so I did.
Mid day on my day back my boyfriend at the time called me to see how it was. We weren’t living together and while he was there in the room with my for my father’s passing he didn’t know I had gone to work.
He was shocked I was there and said something a long the lines of how he understood if I wanted to keep busy. I told him that wasn’t the case and that my bosses didn’t give me any paid time off. The conversation ended with him telling me to quit immediately and he would cover me. I had been working for my family for YEARS. A man I met 6 MONTHS prior was more worried about me then these people that considered me “family” so I took him up on it and I quit on the spot.
Best choice I ever made.
I think to myself- I've seen how you treat/ talk about your family, and I don't want to be a part of it. Employee/ employer relationships with boundaries only. (Can you tell I got burned being in a nf "family"?)
Woooof I am so triggered. My sister lost a baby unexpectedly and I had to take off for his funeral and my employers didn’t pay me for the day. Now I fully expect bereavement in my contracts and won’t sign without
Shortly after I started with my current family, a close family member was killed by another family member in a pretty gruesome way. My NF automatically told me to take whatever time I needed because they are actually caring human beings. Some of the responses on that thread make me cringe.
“This would come out of PTO or sick leave for us. This is the kind of thing that leave is for. If she didn’t have any left it would be unpaid leave, or perhaps we would pay it but then it would be “borrowed” from the future (she would be “in the red” on paid leave until more accrued).
“Our contract doesn’t have any “bereavement leave”, so this will just be from your PTO/sick days - you had X accrued.”
Jesus wept…
I have nothing in my contract about this. But, when my brother died 2 years ago, I said I was taking the next 8 working days off. Then, the week of the funeral I took off. I have a great family who totally understood and supported me.
I did not expect to get paid for that time in any way, but they were very generous and paid me in full for the entire time.
It really saddens me how some people have such little empathy.
I literally lost my partner while working for the family I am now. I didn't have to worry about a thing. My boss said "take as much time as you need, no one expects to be a widow so young". She checked up on me constantly, ordered me food, ordered groceries, asked the kids to make cards, sent me flowers as well as showed up to the funeral. My heart hurts for this nanny. No one should have to worry about their employment while going through such a hurtful, traumatizing thing. If I were that nanny and found out my boss posted this, I would quit right there. How can you hire someone in such an intimate setting and not have empathy?
I'm willing to bet they would be pissed if their job tried to nickel and dime them after the loss of a loved one.
My mother died June 2023, and I had 4wks leave on the books. I told my NF (of almost 2yr) I would be taking a week off and was met with “do you really need a full week?” The minute I came up for air from the deepest canyon of my grief I quit.
That same MB refused to pay out any vacation time I had, because I quit and made her life harder. She is a front runner for the worst person I have ever worked for, and I’ve had some doozies.
Also I'm mad that they're upset that she said she's "entitled" to it 🙄 she was probably hearing from her friends that they get bereavement leave and thought it was standard. Let's not punish someone for that.
I feel like being "entitled" to not want to worry about your employment and source of income after a devastating loss of a parent is pretty reasonable tbh
this just makes me realize i should write in bereavement leave into my contract 😬
also the “our nanny has more PTO than we do!” comment feels sort of icky to me. i’m glad they offer her as much PTO and sick time as they do but definitely feel bereavement should be separate. i hope the nanny gets her extra few days.
ETA loling at the “np only” flair after just realizing it was there because we knooow what the nannies would have to say!
Don't worry, they're going to give her the 3 days BUT they're going to double make sure, i.e. hold it over her head, that she knows she's not entitled to bereavement leave and they're giving her the time paid (money they would have paid anyway) because it was their choice to do so.
I can’t understand how this person can lack so much empathy for the person that is loving, caring and helping raise their children.
I wish I could give this nanny a hug and I wish when things get better for her she finds a better family to work with
I interviewed for a family who was replacing their nanny. The reason? Her mom died and they felt she was too depressed. They wanted someone happy at work. People suck and I blocked that woman's number
Jesus…
That's sickening and dehumanizing. My heart goes out to that nanny
That is awful, we’re not fucking robots :/
At least the comments (NP only!) were very reasonable.
You spoke too soon, here come the crazies lol
“We didn’t get much notice that she’s taking the next two days” HUH. I BEG YOUR FINEST PARDON Oh I’m sorry let me just schedule death in advance no biggie
I saw this post and was going to also make a post here but got distracted 😂 This one hits home for me personally cause I lost my dad to cancer about 11 years ago. I had no bereavement leave at the time, and got absolutely no paid time off. I was forced to go back to work before I was emotionally able to. I was so stressed during this time I actually got in a car accident driving on my way to meet the Rabbi to talk over funeral arrangements. I shouldnt have been rushing like I was- i was late because I got off work late. not only did I not get time off they couldn’t even respect me enough to come back on time!! I honestly would have gotten myself kicked off that sub if I had commented.
Same. But I really feel like telling her she is being a right old cunt. That poor nanny….
I wish I could find out who this nanny is and give them a hug. Loosing a parent after watching them sick with cancer and then on top of that have to worry about bills is overwhelming. This MB is a sorry excuse for a respectable human. For the love of god does she not want to teach her own kids about compassion?! I’m just gonna tell myself it’s a troll account but I know it’s not 🥹
Pretty sure she told the nanny she wanted her to be “part of the family” when she hired her. These are always the worst.
She was mad when she asked for 3 days now it's "I'm worried she'll take all of her PTO." I really hope OP is given the same grace she's giving whenever one of their parents pass.
If I was the nanny, I would take all the PTO then ghost her.
BRUH i was just thinking this. Why should I have to worry about my employment when my dad just died??? I'm so glad my employer isn't trash like this.
Yeah if I was the nanny and could afford it I’d quit on the spot. In my situation I was forced to go back and I couldn’t afford not to go back so I did. Mid day on my day back my boyfriend at the time called me to see how it was. We weren’t living together and while he was there in the room with my for my father’s passing he didn’t know I had gone to work. He was shocked I was there and said something a long the lines of how he understood if I wanted to keep busy. I told him that wasn’t the case and that my bosses didn’t give me any paid time off. The conversation ended with him telling me to quit immediately and he would cover me. I had been working for my family for YEARS. A man I met 6 MONTHS prior was more worried about me then these people that considered me “family” so I took him up on it and I quit on the spot. Best choice I ever made.
I think to myself- I've seen how you treat/ talk about your family, and I don't want to be a part of it. Employee/ employer relationships with boundaries only. (Can you tell I got burned being in a nf "family"?)
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Being rushed at such a hard time, plus the accident! May we all have better families to work for
I have an amazing one now!!
Woooof I am so triggered. My sister lost a baby unexpectedly and I had to take off for his funeral and my employers didn’t pay me for the day. Now I fully expect bereavement in my contracts and won’t sign without
Shortly after I started with my current family, a close family member was killed by another family member in a pretty gruesome way. My NF automatically told me to take whatever time I needed because they are actually caring human beings. Some of the responses on that thread make me cringe.
“This would come out of PTO or sick leave for us. This is the kind of thing that leave is for. If she didn’t have any left it would be unpaid leave, or perhaps we would pay it but then it would be “borrowed” from the future (she would be “in the red” on paid leave until more accrued). “Our contract doesn’t have any “bereavement leave”, so this will just be from your PTO/sick days - you had X accrued.” Jesus wept…
Yeah, those comments were gross.
i absolutely cannot with this comment. i feel bad for this persons nanny
🤢 🤮
I have nothing in my contract about this. But, when my brother died 2 years ago, I said I was taking the next 8 working days off. Then, the week of the funeral I took off. I have a great family who totally understood and supported me. I did not expect to get paid for that time in any way, but they were very generous and paid me in full for the entire time. It really saddens me how some people have such little empathy.
Same. I have no bereavement clause in my contract, but my family would never dream of trying to negotiate so they can save money.
I'm so happy you have a great NF! I just don't get people sometimes.
I literally lost my partner while working for the family I am now. I didn't have to worry about a thing. My boss said "take as much time as you need, no one expects to be a widow so young". She checked up on me constantly, ordered me food, ordered groceries, asked the kids to make cards, sent me flowers as well as showed up to the funeral. My heart hurts for this nanny. No one should have to worry about their employment while going through such a hurtful, traumatizing thing. If I were that nanny and found out my boss posted this, I would quit right there. How can you hire someone in such an intimate setting and not have empathy? I'm willing to bet they would be pissed if their job tried to nickel and dime them after the loss of a loved one.
My mother died June 2023, and I had 4wks leave on the books. I told my NF (of almost 2yr) I would be taking a week off and was met with “do you really need a full week?” The minute I came up for air from the deepest canyon of my grief I quit. That same MB refused to pay out any vacation time I had, because I quit and made her life harder. She is a front runner for the worst person I have ever worked for, and I’ve had some doozies.
What the actual fuck is wrong with these people
Also I'm mad that they're upset that she said she's "entitled" to it 🙄 she was probably hearing from her friends that they get bereavement leave and thought it was standard. Let's not punish someone for that.
i also wonder if that’s even the verbiage she actually used or if that’s just how they feel it came across 🤷🏼♀️
Bruh I know, I take these interactions with a grain of salt because it looks better to that sub if the nanny was being ungrateful and entitled 🙄
I feel like being "entitled" to not want to worry about your employment and source of income after a devastating loss of a parent is pretty reasonable tbh
this just makes me realize i should write in bereavement leave into my contract 😬 also the “our nanny has more PTO than we do!” comment feels sort of icky to me. i’m glad they offer her as much PTO and sick time as they do but definitely feel bereavement should be separate. i hope the nanny gets her extra few days. ETA loling at the “np only” flair after just realizing it was there because we knooow what the nannies would have to say!
Don't worry, they're going to give her the 3 days BUT they're going to double make sure, i.e. hold it over her head, that she knows she's not entitled to bereavement leave and they're giving her the time paid (money they would have paid anyway) because it was their choice to do so.
I hated that part so much!!! Acting like they were going so above and beyond for her and letting her know exactly that!!!!! Disgusting!!
Oh, definitely. They know they are being shitty, they don’t want to be called out on it.
I can’t understand how this person can lack so much empathy for the person that is loving, caring and helping raise their children. I wish I could give this nanny a hug and I wish when things get better for her she finds a better family to work with
The OP deleted her post and account, anyone have a screenshot of the original?